May 28, 2025 • 29 mins
🎙️ UNCHARTED EPISODE 13
WHAT YOU ARE NOT CHANGING, YOU ARE CHOOSING
This one’s personal.
This episode started as a conversation with myself and my psychotherapist. A sentence that wouldn’t leave me alone:
What you are not changing, you are choosing.
I didn’t plan for this podcast to go here when I started it. It was meant to be about trading, business, maybe a few behind-the-scenes truths. But life had other plans. Because what I realised is that the most dangerous charts aren’t the ones we trade, they’re the ones we ignore inside ourselves.
This episode is about the patterns you keep repeating. The relationships, routines, roles, expectations… all the things that quietly chip away at you while you convince yourself “it’s not that bad.”
But here’s the thing: not speaking is still a choice. Staying still is still a direction. Tolerating something that drains you is still an answer. Maybe not a loud one. But loud isn't always honest.
And that’s where this starts. With brutal honesty. With shadow work. With facing the stuff I didn’t want to admit. Things like:
- I let people treat me in ways I’d never accept now
- I stayed too long in things because I wanted to be chosen
- I played small in my own business so someone else could feel big
- I thought being loved would heal me
- I gave more than I had and then blamed them for not noticing I was empty
And I talk about all of that. Not because it’s easy. But because hiding it isn’t helping anyone.
I walk you through the moment it all cracked. A Bitcoin miner gifted to me last Christmas made me realise, even after all these years, people still see the surface, not the person. They don’t know the woman who rebuilt after everything fell apart. The one who paid back what others lost. The one who kept going when no one clapped. The one who cried through trades and still showed up.
I’ve done the work. Therapy. Shadow work. Boundary setting. Ancestry research that connected me to power, but also showed me the silence I was raised in. That silence stops here.
We talk:
- Emotional survival and how it becomes your identity
- Self-leadership and learning to let go of what you wanted them to be
- The cost of staying in things that look good on paper but feel like slow death
- And the moment you decide — not just hope — that it’s time to live differently
And yes, I talk about love. The kind that entered during lockdown. The kind that felt like fate. And how it turned into something that made me question my worth. Because I believed the words — and ignored the behaviour. I thought being seen was the same as being valued. It’s not.
So if you’re here, listening, and thinking, “I’m not sure if I’m choosing this or just stuck in it” then this is the episode for you.
Because sometimes, change doesn’t come from a clear plan. It comes from reaching a point where you simply can’t do it like this anymore.
And that’s where power lives. In the choosing. In the pause. In the messy middle before it all clicks.
So let’s talk about it. Let’s unpack what you’re still choosing and why. And let’s start shifting.
Because future you? She’s watching. She’s not asking you to hustle or perform. She’s just waiting for you to back yourself like you’ve backed everyone else.
Thi
FIND LISA N EDWARDS & MORE:
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/LisaNEdwards
Lisa's Website: https://lisanedwards.com/
Getting Started In Crypto: https://gettingstartedincrypto.com/paid-signals/ref/2001/?campaign=Podcas
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome, welcome, welcome to theUncharted Podcast, episode 13.
What You Are Not Changing, youAre Choosing.
And if you've been with me sincethe beginning, you already know
this podcast was born from anurge.
I didn't fully know what itwould be.
I just knew I had to start.
At first I thought.
Maybe it'd be about business,maybe trading tips.
(00:22):
And yes, the name Uncharted camefrom a cheeky nod to my life as
a crypto trader, always on thecharts, always surfing the
waves.
What this space is becoming issomething so much more.
It's becoming a place that I canfinally speak to you all about
the uncharted territories thatI'm interested within.
The spaces we don't map, thepatterns we repeat and the
(00:42):
choices we don't even realizewe're making.
So for me, this all started lastChristmas when I received a gift
that made me pause and sort ofstep back and go, no one really
knows me.
Not because of what it was butbecause what it revealed.
A Bitcoin miner was the gift.
And I remember thinking really,really after everything, that's
(01:04):
what people think I want.
I went to X and I asked, orTwitter, and I asked.
What they thought I wanted and Idiscovered nobody really knows
me.
The real me, the person behindthe charts and what makes my
heart sing.
I've been in this industry sincethe beginning, and when I say
beginning, I mean proper OG daysand after everything.
(01:25):
That's a takeaway.
That's what people think I wantor I need.
So let's be clear.
I've made money.
I've lost money.
I've rebuilt everything whilecrying years ago, and I paid
back what disappeared from aDiscord community, even though I
wasn't the one who lost it.
But I took responsibilitybecause someone had to, and
that's how I know the thousandto millions.com strategy works.
(01:47):
I've used it not just to rebuildwealth, but to rebuild integrity
and to rebuild myself.
And that's what brings me totoday's truth bomb.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
Say that again.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
So that hit me right in theheart in therapy when I learned
(02:10):
all of that.
That I am choosing the thingsthat are in my life.
I'm choosing the people, I'mchoosing the places.
And real change doesn't start inyour bank account or your
followers list or yourrelationship status.
It starts inside, inside therelationship you have with
yourself.
And that's why I wrote Become aMillionaire in one Year, that
(02:32):
book.
It was just a transformation forme because until you fix a part
of you that keeps choosing whathurts, what betrays and what
doesn't serve, you'll keeprepeating it.
And at the first third of thatbook, it's not about money, it's
about transformation.
It's about the patterns we carryinto everything.
Especially our wallets from corewounds and the stories we tell
(02:56):
ourselves.
So while writing Coin Runnersmovie.com wasn't just
storytelling, it wastransmutation, it was therapy
disguised as screenwriting.
And somewhere between rewritingscenes and revisiting my past,
something in me opened and itmade me want to love again.
(03:16):
So during the stillness ofCOVID, someone entered my life
and reminded me how easy it isto get caught up in words,
especially in isolation.
But what I've learned that love.
Isn't just what you say, it'swhat you choose consistently.
And for a while I thought lovemight heal old wounds.
I thought being seen might beenough, but healing doesn't come
(03:38):
from being loved.
It comes from doing the work.
And I was deep in that therapyboundaries, accountability,
learning how to show updifferently.
But not everyone is ready forthat.
And sometimes even when peoplemean well, their pain spills, it
still spills.
And if you're not careful, it'lldrown you.
(03:59):
So there were moments in thatchapter of my life where I felt
invisible.
I felt that I was just holdingeverything together with duct
tape and deep breaths.
And when external pressuremounted, whether it was online
noise, business stress, orpersonal doubts, I learned very
quickly how very fragileeverything becomes when your
identity is wrapped in somethingoutside of yourself.
(04:22):
So I had to choose again.
Choose to heal, choose to stepback.
And this isn't about blame oraccusations.
It's my lived experience sharedto heal and connect, and to
remind anyone walking a similarpath that they're not alone.
If even one person hears thisand sees their own pattern more
clearly, then this podcast isworth it.
(04:45):
This isn't about anyone else.
This is about me.
And maybe.
You'll see some of you in ittoo, because years ago someone
told me I'd end up alone.
Like that was the worst thingthat could happen to me.
But you know what?
Alone is peaceful.
Alone is powerful.
And alone is where I'm findingmyself again.
(05:07):
So let's talk about that today.
The patterns we keep living, thethings we keep choosing, and the
parts of us still waiting forsomeone else to do the work, for
someone to rescue us becausespoil alert, they won't and
they're not supposed to.
So let's get uncharted.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
(05:28):
I'm looking for a woman infinance with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five, four.
Amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
We could fight for amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
(05:48):
with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
UNCHARTED Let's go.
I'm gonna start by defining theconcept of what you were not
changing, you were choosing.
Let's start with the hard truth.
Most people avoid, inaction isnot neutral.
(06:08):
It's a decision every time.
You don't speak up, every timeyou let that text go unanswered.
Every time you let the businessslip, the health slide, the gut
feeling pass, you are stillchoosing the current state and
that choice, it hasconsequences.
We often imagine choices as big,bold, dramatic things like
(06:31):
ending a relationship, quittinga job, moving countries,
starting a business.
But the most life definingchoices are often the ones we
make silently, the ones we makeby not making any.
So think of this, you're in thecar, you're not driving, but
maybe you've taken your handsoff the wheel.
You are not actively turningleft or right, but the engine's
(06:53):
still running.
The car's still moving.
So you're not stopped.
You're just letting somethingelse drive and whatever
direction that takes you, you'rein the driver's seat and you are
still responsible for it.
Now, apply that to your life.
If you're still in arelationship that drains you and
(07:14):
you're not shifting the dynamicor setting a boundary, getting
therapy, you are choosing it.
If you're still in a financialstress, but ignoring the budget,
not learning, not asking forhelp, you are choosing it if
you're still repeating the sameemotional reactions, staying
quiet when you want to,screaming or exploding when you
(07:39):
want to connect, you're choosingit not consciously, not always
with malice, but passively.
Through pattern and protection,and here's the uncomfortable
truth.
Most of the time we are notchoosing the thing itself.
We are choosing what isfamiliar.
(08:00):
We are choosing what does notask us to stretch or grow.
What lets us avoid the fear ofthe unknown, even if the unknown
is hurting us this is not aboutblame, it's about awareness.
It's about.
Calling back all of your powerand admitting I may not have
chosen this on purpose, but if Idon't change it now, I'm
(08:23):
choosing this now.
So once you see that for what itreally is, you can't unsee it.
And from there, everything isgoing to start to shift for you.
Let's look at the psychologicalinsights, meeting your shadow
before it makes a choices foryou.
If this first step is realizingyou're choosing through
(08:44):
inaction, the second step isasking why you are doing it.
This is where Carl Jung's workon the shadow self becomes gold.
The shadow is every part of youthat you've disowned, repressed,
or denied your anger, yourjealousy, your insecurity, your
craving for control, your needto be chosen, your fear of
(09:05):
abandonment, and all the partsyou didn't.
Feel acceptable.
So you buried them.
But buried doesn't mean they'regone.
It means they're hidden.
And that's what Hidden stillacts like.
The shadow runs in thebackground, like a script.
And you didn't write thatbecause it just keeps playing
out in the background.
When you sabotage therelationship that's actually
(09:26):
healthy, it whispers you intostaying in a situation that
hurts you because you think it'sall you deserve.
It's the part that says, this ishow I am.
When you know deep down it's notreally who you are, the shadow
cannot exist in the light.
So it does everything it can todrag you back into the dark,
(09:46):
into the silence, into theshame, into familiar patterns
where it can keep running theshow unchallenged.
If you don't examine yourshadow, it's going to make the
choices for you.
You'll keep repeating the samecycles and calling them fate.
You'll blame others while yourunhealed patterns are steering
the wheel.
(10:07):
This is not about turning onyourself or pathologizing the
pain.
It's about taking responsibilityfor what you've internalized,
that you never belong to you inthe first place.
It's about reclaiming authorshipover your story instead of being
a passive character in it.
So bringing your shadow into thelight is not a one time thing.
(10:30):
It's an ongoing process, butevery time you do it, you take
back power from the part of youthat was trying to protect you
through dysfunction.
And from that place, you canfinally choose something
different, not because you'reperforming a better version of
yourself, but because you are nolonger scared of the parts you
(10:51):
used to run from.
Real change begins when you stopwaiting for the light to show up
and start getting curious aboutthe dark.
So let's look at real lifeapplications from passive
survival to activeself-leadership.
This is where everything startsto make sense and it all sort of
(11:11):
joins in because it's one thingto understand the theory, it's
another to see how it plays outin real lives.
And I wanna be honest here, mostchange doesn't come from
clarity.
It comes from breaking point.
It's a woman who stayed in arelationship too long because
she thought loyalty was loveuntil one day she looked at
(11:31):
herself in the mirror andrealized she didn't recognize
who she was anymore.
That moment didn't give her allthe answers, but it gave her one
decision this can't go on, andthat was enough to shift her
from being waiting in thebackground in the shadows to
walking away.
(11:52):
Because if that person's notchoosing her and he's not
changing, like literally she hasto do that.
She has to choose her and shehas to be the change.
And what about the businessowner that kept saying, I'm too
tired to restructure whileeverything leaked?
Money, energy, and meaninguntil.
(12:15):
The next time they got a taxbill that they couldn't pay,
that they had to face, whatthey'd been avoiding, that pain
became the pivot, and theystarted again with intention,
not just desperation or thetrader that repeated the same
losses again and again becausetheir self-worth was tied to
winning.
(12:35):
Every red candle felt personaluntil they realized the real
problem wasn't the chart.
It was their unresolved patternof needing to prove they were
good enough.
Once they separated theiridentity from the outcome, their
whole approach changed.
They stopped gambling andstarted mastering trading.
I've seen it so many times, andagain, I will mention that is
(12:58):
why become a millionaire waswritten and I'll bring it back
to myself.
For years, I stayed insituations where I felt unseen
in business, in love, and Itolerated behaviors.
I stayed in a 15 year marriagethat ended at about five years,
and I never deserved any of thatbecause I didn't wanna be too
(13:19):
much or too emotional or toohard.
I just wanted to be the nicegirl, the kind girl.
But it wasn't until I realizedthat playing small was a choice.
One I had made again and againthat I stopped blaming everyone
else for, and now I've taken thereins.
(13:41):
The shift is never instant, butit's always obvious and it
begins when you stop acceptingwhat you don't deserve and what
doesn't serve, and startchoosing what does, even when
it's hard, even when it'slonely, even when it makes you
question everything.
Even when everyone leaves yourlife, and I'm putting those
(14:06):
questions out there now.
So I've been alone now fornearly eight months working
through trauma, sitting in thepain of all of that, facing my
shadow and the patterns thatonce felt like protection
because now I'm choosing change.
And the real change only happenswhen the pain of staying the
(14:27):
same outweighs the fear of doingsomething different.
So step into that fear, the fearof abandonment, the fear of
being unloved, the fear oflooking stupid for being alone
once again.
Because like I said, that's notthe worst thing that can happen.
(14:49):
That moment when the familiarstarts to feel unbearable.
When you realize that holding itall together is costing you more
than letting it all fall apart,ever could, that is when that
shift begins.
Not because you suddenly feelready, but because you can't do
it anymore.
And the moment you do somethingincredible happens, your purpose
(15:11):
gets clearer, your energyreturns, and the same world
feels different because you aredifferent and you start leading
yourself.
And that changes everything.
So now let's jump into thepractical steps of how to stop
choosing what hurts and startchoosing what matters.
(15:34):
By now, we've pulled back thecurtain, we've exposed that
inaction is still a choice.
We've looked at the shadow partsthat keep pulling the strings
behind the scenes, and we'veexplored what happens when
someone finally decides.
To do something different, butnow it's your turn.
(15:55):
So how do you actually begin?
How do you move from passiveacceptance into intentional
self-led change?
I'll break it down in fivepoints because here's where you
start croaky voice, sorry.
Identify what you're tolerating.
Make a brutal, honest list.
What you are putting up withthat drains you, dismisses you,
(16:18):
distracts you from what you'remeant to be.
Is that a relationship with noreciprocation a business you are
constantly rescuing, but neverfeel fulfilled in a daily
routine that numbs you ratherthan nourishes you.
If it makes you shrink, it's notaligned, call it out.
Two, ask yourself what payoffyou're getting.
(16:42):
Yes, it hurts, but pain isn'talways enough to make a stop.
So ask, what do I get fromstaying the same?
Familiarity, validation,avoiding conflict.
The truth is we rarely staystuck without a reason, but once
you name the reason you takeaway its power.
Three, shift the outcomeOBSession to pattern
(17:07):
interruption.
You don't know how it ends.
Nobody knows how it ends.
You just have to stop repeatingwhat no longer serves you.
Instead of waiting for theperfect plan.
Take the first HONEST step.
That might mean setting aboundary, making a new decision
with money.
Saying No without guilt orwalking away from something that
(17:30):
used to define you.
Change begins the moment youinterrupt the pattern.
Even if your voice shakes, evenif it's terrifying, FOUR give
yourself a mirror moment eachmorning.
Ask yourself, what am I choosingtoday?
By not changing it, then ask,what would the future version of
(17:51):
me do instead?
We've become the person we wantto be.
By aligning with the actions offuture you not waiting to feel
like them.
By aligning alignment is whatputs you into your purpose.
It what puts you into the futurethat you want to have.
So what is future you choosingtoday?
(18:15):
And make those choices.
Five.
Track progress emotionally, notjust externally.
So don't just track money.
Followers, kilos wins.
Track how you feel showing upfor yourself.
This is what this podcast is allabout.
So if I only get 50 peoplelistening to it, or I get a
hundred, or I get one, I'mproud, I've done it.
(18:40):
I feel peaceful, I feel morehonest.
So ask yourself those questions.
Do you feel proud?
Do you feel peaceful?
Are you feeling more honest?
And that's your return oninvestment.
And that investment is inyourself.
And that's what buildsunshakeable self-trust.
(19:02):
Because without self-trust, youcannot trust anyone else.
You are not stuck.
You are just scared.
And fear is allowed to be in thecar, but it does not get to
drive.
Think of that again.
You're driving that car.
Put fear in the passenger seat,put scared in the passenger
seat.
(19:22):
You are driving, you are makingthe choices because what you are
choosing can change you.
And you can't change them, onlyyou.
So remember that.
Stop fixing, start choosingyourself now.
This next segment cuts deep.
Because most of us aren't stuckon the situation.
(19:45):
We are stuck in the potential ofwhat we saw in someone, the
version of them.
That could be amazing.
The partner they were at thebeginning, the business partner
you thought they'd grow into,the friend you keep giving
chances to because of the sharedhistory, not the reality of who
they are now.
But here's the truth, you can'tchange anyone else except for
(20:10):
yourself.
You can't change another personwith love.
You can't change them withlogic, not with patience, and
not with ultimatums, not withsilence, and definitely not with
your suffering because change isa solo journey.
They need to do it, andsometimes it takes putting on
your walking shoes, and if theyare not choosing to grow.
(20:33):
Not choosing to show up and notchoosing to do the work that is
their choice and accept thatchoice.
No amount of your energy willever make them evolve if they
don't want to.
So if you're still choosing theversion of them that isn't
evolving, then the work is nolonger about them.
It's on you.
(20:54):
Be honest.
That's where your power lives inchoosing yourself.
Not in a dramatic angry, cutthem off kind of way, but in a
calm, but in a calm, certainsolo lined way that says, I'm
not going to fight to be chosenanymore.
I choose me.
(21:14):
I choose myself.
Because when you do that, youstop leading from expectation
and you lead by example.
You shift from rescuing torespecting.
You stop trying to control theoutcome and start trusting your
inner compass.
And yes, it hurts.
Yes, you'll miss them.
Yes, your mind will begin tobargain and spiral, and to
(21:39):
convince you that going back iswhat's comfortable, and that's
what your mind wants to do.
But I promise you, choosingyourself is never the wrong
choice.
It is the beginning ofeverything you're trying to
manifest because when you stoptrying to change them, you
finally give your permission tobecome you.
(22:00):
And this brings us to the end ofUncharted episode 13.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
So here's where we see the pathahead.
Real change isn't a vibe, it'snot a vision board.
It's not morning affirmations.
If you're still betrayingyourself by lunchtime,
(22:21):
affirmations don't work.
If the voice in your head isstill screaming, you can't that
voice give it a name.
I call my Nikki, so she's thelead character in my can't fight
fate books.
She's the one who tells me I'mtoo much.
That I'll fail and that peoplewill leave.
She tells the story that I'm tooafraid to tell the world.
(22:43):
She sounds convincing becauseshe was built for survival.
But survival isn't the goalanymore.
Alignment is, and now I call outNikki I'm doing just that in my
fourth book.
You are not him.
I get to question her, ask herwhat she thinks and what she
thinks that and say.
(23:04):
And thanks for trying to protectme, but I'm not doing small
anymore.
I'm not doing fear.
I'm not doing self portrayal.
I'm not doing any of that.
And I tell her, not today,Nikki.
I have things to do.
So when those voices in my headget too loud, I just tell them,
not today, Nikki.
(23:24):
I have things to do, a businessto rebuild and.
Awesome reels for my socials andthis podcast, so I have so much
stuff to do.
And real change takesaccountability and radical
honesty.
It takes walking into thetherapy room and finally saying
the things you'd never said outloud, the thing that happened
(23:47):
when you were six or seven, theway you've been performing.
Strength to avoid feeling weak.
The pattern you inherited fromyour parents that has been
shaping your choices fordecades.
It's breaking generationaltrauma, and this is something
that really hit home.
Since I've been doing myancestry and finding kings and
(24:08):
queens and vikings in mybloodline, it made me realize
that I come from power, fromsurvival and from legacy, but
also from centuries of silence,repression, and emotional
shutdown.
I wasn't just carrying my ownpain.
I was carrying theirs too.
And the work I'm doing now justisn't about healing myself.
(24:29):
It's about ending cycles, endingthat generational pain that has
echoed through our bloodlinesfor generations.
It's about becoming the queenwho breaks what needed to be
broken and rebuilds somethingstronger in its place.
And I know this not just becauseI've read the books and studied
(24:50):
the frameworks, but because I'mdoing the work and I've done a
lot of work, I've sat in therapyand unpacked my childhood
trauma, the kind that doesn'tjust leave scars.
It rewires you for survival, andI don't wanna go into it here
because it was really traumaticand I survived.
(25:10):
I'm still here.
And I have so much inside me togive.
And I've looked at that littlegirl in me who kept trying to
earn love by fixing everyoneelse's problems.
And I've faced a woman who builtbusinesses while silently
bleeding and giving everythingaway to ex-partners.
(25:33):
And I've called out the parts ofme that tolerated crumbs just to
avoid being alone.
I've done the shadow work, partswork, somatic healing,
journaling, inner child healingattachment.
I've written letters I'll neversend cried over truth I didn't
want to admit and let go ofversions of myself.
(25:54):
I once the thought werepermanent.
And still the work continuesbecause the shadow doesn't leave
overnight.
It shows up quietly in how yourespond and what you excuse and
what you tolerate.
And here's what I've learned.
You cannot heal what you won'tface.
(26:15):
You cannot blame your way tofreedom, and no one is coming to
save you from the parts ofyourself you keep avoiding.
This episode is not aboutjudgment.
It's about invitation.
And as I've written this, a songhas started playing.
One I didn't choose, but maybeit chose me.
(26:35):
We don't talk about it by ThelmaPlum and that line hits like
truth.
Being sung through the bones ofevery woman I've ever known so
the lyrics say.
It doesn't make it better that Iwent first.
We don't talk about it.
If it happened to me, it willhappen to her.
What the girls went through,they just didn't deserve, and
(26:59):
that's really powerful.
That's the universe tapping meon the shoulder, mid-sentence,
mid transmission, saying this isbigger than just your story.
It's lineage, it's legacy, it'sgenerational.
It's the collective silence andI'm the one cracking it open.
And in that moment I knew thisisn't just an episode, this is a
(27:23):
call to speak about what's beingsilenced, to name what's being
normalized, to break the echo.
Because when we don't talk aboutit, we repeat it.
And when we don't talk about it,we hand it to the next girl.
And she carries it like it washers to hold.
So maybe this is your permissionslip to talk about it, write
(27:46):
about it, rage about it, releaseit, because real change doesn't
start with answers.
It starts with truth.
And sometimes the truth hurts somuch that you are blocked from
speaking it.
And sometimes the most radicaltruth is saying, this happened
and it wasn't mine to carry.
(28:06):
Stop saying you want to changewhile feeding the version of you
who fears it.
Stop confusing loyalty with selfabandonment and stop trying to
control others instead ofmastering yourself and ask
yourself this.
What parts of you are keepingyou in rooms, relationships and
routines that are shrinking yourpotential?
(28:27):
Because once you recognize whatyou are not changing, you are
choosing.
You reclaim your power.
You can't change them, but youcan choose you and that choice,
that's where everything begins.
So ask yourself today.
What am I choosing through mysilence, tolerance, or delay?
(28:51):
And what would the futureversion of me choose instead?
Current.
You should always be workinghard for future you, because the
truth is current.
You should always be workinghard for the future.
You not for a hustle, not fromfear.
But from devotion, because yourfuture self is not just waiting.
(29:14):
She's watching.
She's hoping you'll finally backyourself in the way you've
backed everyone else.
So choose her.
She's worth it.
This has been uncharted, and asalways, my links are below.
Come and find me.
I'd love to connect with youuntil next week.
(29:34):
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
crypto five four amber eyes.
And judge it.
Let's go.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to theUncharted Podcast, episode 13.
What You Are Not Changing, youAre Choosing.
And if you've been with me sincethe beginning, you already know
this podcast was born from anurge.
I didn't fully know what itwould be.
I just knew I had to start.
At first I thought.
Maybe it'd be about business,maybe trading tips.
(00:22):
And yes, the name Uncharted camefrom a cheeky nod to my life as
a crypto trader, always on thecharts, always surfing the
waves.
What this space is becoming issomething so much more.
It's becoming a place that I canfinally speak to you all about
the uncharted territories thatI'm interested within.
The spaces we don't map, thepatterns we repeat and the
(00:42):
choices we don't even realizewe're making.
So for me, this all started lastChristmas when I received a gift
that made me pause and sort ofstep back and go, no one really
knows me.
Not because of what it was butbecause what it revealed.
A Bitcoin miner was the gift.
And I remember thinking really,really after everything, that's
(01:04):
what people think I want.
I went to X and I asked, orTwitter, and I asked.
What they thought I wanted and Idiscovered nobody really knows
me.
The real me, the person behindthe charts and what makes my
heart sing.
I've been in this industry sincethe beginning, and when I say
beginning, I mean proper OG daysand after everything.
(01:25):
That's a takeaway.
That's what people think I wantor I need.
So let's be clear.
I've made money.
I've lost money.
I've rebuilt everything whilecrying years ago, and I paid
back what disappeared from aDiscord community, even though I
wasn't the one who lost it.
But I took responsibilitybecause someone had to, and
that's how I know the thousandto millions.com strategy works.
(01:47):
I've used it not just to rebuildwealth, but to rebuild integrity
and to rebuild myself.
And that's what brings me totoday's truth bomb.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
Say that again.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
So that hit me right in theheart in therapy when I learned
(02:10):
all of that.
That I am choosing the thingsthat are in my life.
I'm choosing the people, I'mchoosing the places.
And real change doesn't start inyour bank account or your
followers list or yourrelationship status.
It starts inside, inside therelationship you have with
yourself.
And that's why I wrote Become aMillionaire in one Year, that
(02:32):
book.
It was just a transformation forme because until you fix a part
of you that keeps choosing whathurts, what betrays and what
doesn't serve, you'll keeprepeating it.
And at the first third of thatbook, it's not about money, it's
about transformation.
It's about the patterns we carryinto everything.
Especially our wallets from corewounds and the stories we tell
(02:56):
ourselves.
So while writing Coin Runnersmovie.com wasn't just
storytelling, it wastransmutation, it was therapy
disguised as screenwriting.
And somewhere between rewritingscenes and revisiting my past,
something in me opened and itmade me want to love again.
(03:16):
So during the stillness ofCOVID, someone entered my life
and reminded me how easy it isto get caught up in words,
especially in isolation.
But what I've learned that love.
Isn't just what you say, it'swhat you choose consistently.
And for a while I thought lovemight heal old wounds.
I thought being seen might beenough, but healing doesn't come
(03:38):
from being loved.
It comes from doing the work.
And I was deep in that therapyboundaries, accountability,
learning how to show updifferently.
But not everyone is ready forthat.
And sometimes even when peoplemean well, their pain spills, it
still spills.
And if you're not careful, it'lldrown you.
(03:59):
So there were moments in thatchapter of my life where I felt
invisible.
I felt that I was just holdingeverything together with duct
tape and deep breaths.
And when external pressuremounted, whether it was online
noise, business stress, orpersonal doubts, I learned very
quickly how very fragileeverything becomes when your
identity is wrapped in somethingoutside of yourself.
(04:22):
So I had to choose again.
Choose to heal, choose to stepback.
And this isn't about blame oraccusations.
It's my lived experience sharedto heal and connect, and to
remind anyone walking a similarpath that they're not alone.
If even one person hears thisand sees their own pattern more
clearly, then this podcast isworth it.
(04:45):
This isn't about anyone else.
This is about me.
And maybe.
You'll see some of you in ittoo, because years ago someone
told me I'd end up alone.
Like that was the worst thingthat could happen to me.
But you know what?
Alone is peaceful.
Alone is powerful.
And alone is where I'm findingmyself again.
(05:07):
So let's talk about that today.
The patterns we keep living, thethings we keep choosing, and the
parts of us still waiting forsomeone else to do the work, for
someone to rescue us becausespoil alert, they won't and
they're not supposed to.
So let's get uncharted.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
(05:28):
I'm looking for a woman infinance with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
Crypto, five, four.
Amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
We could fight for amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
(05:48):
with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
with crypto.
Five, four, amber eyes.
UNCHARTED Let's go.
I'm gonna start by defining theconcept of what you were not
changing, you were choosing.
Let's start with the hard truth.
Most people avoid, inaction isnot neutral.
(06:08):
It's a decision every time.
You don't speak up, every timeyou let that text go unanswered.
Every time you let the businessslip, the health slide, the gut
feeling pass, you are stillchoosing the current state and
that choice, it hasconsequences.
We often imagine choices as big,bold, dramatic things like
(06:31):
ending a relationship, quittinga job, moving countries,
starting a business.
But the most life definingchoices are often the ones we
make silently, the ones we makeby not making any.
So think of this, you're in thecar, you're not driving, but
maybe you've taken your handsoff the wheel.
You are not actively turningleft or right, but the engine's
(06:53):
still running.
The car's still moving.
So you're not stopped.
You're just letting somethingelse drive and whatever
direction that takes you, you'rein the driver's seat and you are
still responsible for it.
Now, apply that to your life.
If you're still in arelationship that drains you and
(07:14):
you're not shifting the dynamicor setting a boundary, getting
therapy, you are choosing it.
If you're still in a financialstress, but ignoring the budget,
not learning, not asking forhelp, you are choosing it if
you're still repeating the sameemotional reactions, staying
quiet when you want to,screaming or exploding when you
(07:39):
want to connect, you're choosingit not consciously, not always
with malice, but passively.
Through pattern and protection,and here's the uncomfortable
truth.
Most of the time we are notchoosing the thing itself.
We are choosing what isfamiliar.
(08:00):
We are choosing what does notask us to stretch or grow.
What lets us avoid the fear ofthe unknown, even if the unknown
is hurting us this is not aboutblame, it's about awareness.
It's about.
Calling back all of your powerand admitting I may not have
chosen this on purpose, but if Idon't change it now, I'm
(08:23):
choosing this now.
So once you see that for what itreally is, you can't unsee it.
And from there, everything isgoing to start to shift for you.
Let's look at the psychologicalinsights, meeting your shadow
before it makes a choices foryou.
If this first step is realizingyou're choosing through
(08:44):
inaction, the second step isasking why you are doing it.
This is where Carl Jung's workon the shadow self becomes gold.
The shadow is every part of youthat you've disowned, repressed,
or denied your anger, yourjealousy, your insecurity, your
craving for control, your needto be chosen, your fear of
(09:05):
abandonment, and all the partsyou didn't.
Feel acceptable.
So you buried them.
But buried doesn't mean they'regone.
It means they're hidden.
And that's what Hidden stillacts like.
The shadow runs in thebackground, like a script.
And you didn't write thatbecause it just keeps playing
out in the background.
When you sabotage therelationship that's actually
(09:26):
healthy, it whispers you intostaying in a situation that
hurts you because you think it'sall you deserve.
It's the part that says, this ishow I am.
When you know deep down it's notreally who you are, the shadow
cannot exist in the light.
So it does everything it can todrag you back into the dark,
(09:46):
into the silence, into theshame, into familiar patterns
where it can keep running theshow unchallenged.
If you don't examine yourshadow, it's going to make the
choices for you.
You'll keep repeating the samecycles and calling them fate.
You'll blame others while yourunhealed patterns are steering
the wheel.
(10:07):
This is not about turning onyourself or pathologizing the
pain.
It's about taking responsibilityfor what you've internalized,
that you never belong to you inthe first place.
It's about reclaiming authorshipover your story instead of being
a passive character in it.
So bringing your shadow into thelight is not a one time thing.
(10:30):
It's an ongoing process, butevery time you do it, you take
back power from the part of youthat was trying to protect you
through dysfunction.
And from that place, you canfinally choose something
different, not because you'reperforming a better version of
yourself, but because you are nolonger scared of the parts you
(10:51):
used to run from.
Real change begins when you stopwaiting for the light to show up
and start getting curious aboutthe dark.
So let's look at real lifeapplications from passive
survival to activeself-leadership.
This is where everything startsto make sense and it all sort of
(11:11):
joins in because it's one thingto understand the theory, it's
another to see how it plays outin real lives.
And I wanna be honest here, mostchange doesn't come from
clarity.
It comes from breaking point.
It's a woman who stayed in arelationship too long because
she thought loyalty was loveuntil one day she looked at
(11:31):
herself in the mirror andrealized she didn't recognize
who she was anymore.
That moment didn't give her allthe answers, but it gave her one
decision this can't go on, andthat was enough to shift her
from being waiting in thebackground in the shadows to
walking away.
(11:52):
Because if that person's notchoosing her and he's not
changing, like literally she hasto do that.
She has to choose her and shehas to be the change.
And what about the businessowner that kept saying, I'm too
tired to restructure whileeverything leaked?
Money, energy, and meaninguntil.
(12:15):
The next time they got a taxbill that they couldn't pay,
that they had to face, whatthey'd been avoiding, that pain
became the pivot, and theystarted again with intention,
not just desperation or thetrader that repeated the same
losses again and again becausetheir self-worth was tied to
winning.
(12:35):
Every red candle felt personaluntil they realized the real
problem wasn't the chart.
It was their unresolved patternof needing to prove they were
good enough.
Once they separated theiridentity from the outcome, their
whole approach changed.
They stopped gambling andstarted mastering trading.
I've seen it so many times, andagain, I will mention that is
(12:58):
why become a millionaire waswritten and I'll bring it back
to myself.
For years, I stayed insituations where I felt unseen
in business, in love, and Itolerated behaviors.
I stayed in a 15 year marriagethat ended at about five years,
and I never deserved any of thatbecause I didn't wanna be too
(13:19):
much or too emotional or toohard.
I just wanted to be the nicegirl, the kind girl.
But it wasn't until I realizedthat playing small was a choice.
One I had made again and againthat I stopped blaming everyone
else for, and now I've taken thereins.
(13:41):
The shift is never instant, butit's always obvious and it
begins when you stop acceptingwhat you don't deserve and what
doesn't serve, and startchoosing what does, even when
it's hard, even when it'slonely, even when it makes you
question everything.
Even when everyone leaves yourlife, and I'm putting those
(14:06):
questions out there now.
So I've been alone now fornearly eight months working
through trauma, sitting in thepain of all of that, facing my
shadow and the patterns thatonce felt like protection
because now I'm choosing change.
And the real change only happenswhen the pain of staying the
(14:27):
same outweighs the fear of doingsomething different.
So step into that fear, the fearof abandonment, the fear of
being unloved, the fear oflooking stupid for being alone
once again.
Because like I said, that's notthe worst thing that can happen.
(14:49):
That moment when the familiarstarts to feel unbearable.
When you realize that holding itall together is costing you more
than letting it all fall apart,ever could, that is when that
shift begins.
Not because you suddenly feelready, but because you can't do
it anymore.
And the moment you do somethingincredible happens, your purpose
(15:11):
gets clearer, your energyreturns, and the same world
feels different because you aredifferent and you start leading
yourself.
And that changes everything.
So now let's jump into thepractical steps of how to stop
choosing what hurts and startchoosing what matters.
(15:34):
By now, we've pulled back thecurtain, we've exposed that
inaction is still a choice.
We've looked at the shadow partsthat keep pulling the strings
behind the scenes, and we'veexplored what happens when
someone finally decides.
To do something different, butnow it's your turn.
(15:55):
So how do you actually begin?
How do you move from passiveacceptance into intentional
self-led change?
I'll break it down in fivepoints because here's where you
start croaky voice, sorry.
Identify what you're tolerating.
Make a brutal, honest list.
What you are putting up withthat drains you, dismisses you,
(16:18):
distracts you from what you'remeant to be.
Is that a relationship with noreciprocation a business you are
constantly rescuing, but neverfeel fulfilled in a daily
routine that numbs you ratherthan nourishes you.
If it makes you shrink, it's notaligned, call it out.
Two, ask yourself what payoffyou're getting.
(16:42):
Yes, it hurts, but pain isn'talways enough to make a stop.
So ask, what do I get fromstaying the same?
Familiarity, validation,avoiding conflict.
The truth is we rarely staystuck without a reason, but once
you name the reason you takeaway its power.
Three, shift the outcomeOBSession to pattern
(17:07):
interruption.
You don't know how it ends.
Nobody knows how it ends.
You just have to stop repeatingwhat no longer serves you.
Instead of waiting for theperfect plan.
Take the first HONEST step.
That might mean setting aboundary, making a new decision
with money.
Saying No without guilt orwalking away from something that
(17:30):
used to define you.
Change begins the moment youinterrupt the pattern.
Even if your voice shakes, evenif it's terrifying, FOUR give
yourself a mirror moment eachmorning.
Ask yourself, what am I choosingtoday?
By not changing it, then ask,what would the future version of
(17:51):
me do instead?
We've become the person we wantto be.
By aligning with the actions offuture you not waiting to feel
like them.
By aligning alignment is whatputs you into your purpose.
It what puts you into the futurethat you want to have.
So what is future you choosingtoday?
(18:15):
And make those choices.
Five.
Track progress emotionally, notjust externally.
So don't just track money.
Followers, kilos wins.
Track how you feel showing upfor yourself.
This is what this podcast is allabout.
So if I only get 50 peoplelistening to it, or I get a
hundred, or I get one, I'mproud, I've done it.
(18:40):
I feel peaceful, I feel morehonest.
So ask yourself those questions.
Do you feel proud?
Do you feel peaceful?
Are you feeling more honest?
And that's your return oninvestment.
And that investment is inyourself.
And that's what buildsunshakeable self-trust.
(19:02):
Because without self-trust, youcannot trust anyone else.
You are not stuck.
You are just scared.
And fear is allowed to be in thecar, but it does not get to
drive.
Think of that again.
You're driving that car.
Put fear in the passenger seat,put scared in the passenger
seat.
(19:22):
You are driving, you are makingthe choices because what you are
choosing can change you.
And you can't change them, onlyyou.
So remember that.
Stop fixing, start choosingyourself now.
This next segment cuts deep.
Because most of us aren't stuckon the situation.
(19:45):
We are stuck in the potential ofwhat we saw in someone, the
version of them.
That could be amazing.
The partner they were at thebeginning, the business partner
you thought they'd grow into,the friend you keep giving
chances to because of the sharedhistory, not the reality of who
they are now.
But here's the truth, you can'tchange anyone else except for
(20:10):
yourself.
You can't change another personwith love.
You can't change them withlogic, not with patience, and
not with ultimatums, not withsilence, and definitely not with
your suffering because change isa solo journey.
They need to do it, andsometimes it takes putting on
your walking shoes, and if theyare not choosing to grow.
(20:33):
Not choosing to show up and notchoosing to do the work that is
their choice and accept thatchoice.
No amount of your energy willever make them evolve if they
don't want to.
So if you're still choosing theversion of them that isn't
evolving, then the work is nolonger about them.
It's on you.
(20:54):
Be honest.
That's where your power lives inchoosing yourself.
Not in a dramatic angry, cutthem off kind of way, but in a
calm, but in a calm, certainsolo lined way that says, I'm
not going to fight to be chosenanymore.
I choose me.
(21:14):
I choose myself.
Because when you do that, youstop leading from expectation
and you lead by example.
You shift from rescuing torespecting.
You stop trying to control theoutcome and start trusting your
inner compass.
And yes, it hurts.
Yes, you'll miss them.
Yes, your mind will begin tobargain and spiral, and to
(21:39):
convince you that going back iswhat's comfortable, and that's
what your mind wants to do.
But I promise you, choosingyourself is never the wrong
choice.
It is the beginning ofeverything you're trying to
manifest because when you stoptrying to change them, you
finally give your permission tobecome you.
(22:00):
And this brings us to the end ofUncharted episode 13.
What you are not changing, youare choosing.
So here's where we see the pathahead.
Real change isn't a vibe, it'snot a vision board.
It's not morning affirmations.
If you're still betrayingyourself by lunchtime,
(22:21):
affirmations don't work.
If the voice in your head isstill screaming, you can't that
voice give it a name.
I call my Nikki, so she's thelead character in my can't fight
fate books.
She's the one who tells me I'mtoo much.
That I'll fail and that peoplewill leave.
She tells the story that I'm tooafraid to tell the world.
(22:43):
She sounds convincing becauseshe was built for survival.
But survival isn't the goalanymore.
Alignment is, and now I call outNikki I'm doing just that in my
fourth book.
You are not him.
I get to question her, ask herwhat she thinks and what she
thinks that and say.
(23:04):
And thanks for trying to protectme, but I'm not doing small
anymore.
I'm not doing fear.
I'm not doing self portrayal.
I'm not doing any of that.
And I tell her, not today,Nikki.
I have things to do.
So when those voices in my headget too loud, I just tell them,
not today, Nikki.
(23:24):
I have things to do, a businessto rebuild and.
Awesome reels for my socials andthis podcast, so I have so much
stuff to do.
And real change takesaccountability and radical
honesty.
It takes walking into thetherapy room and finally saying
the things you'd never said outloud, the thing that happened
(23:47):
when you were six or seven, theway you've been performing.
Strength to avoid feeling weak.
The pattern you inherited fromyour parents that has been
shaping your choices fordecades.
It's breaking generationaltrauma, and this is something
that really hit home.
Since I've been doing myancestry and finding kings and
(24:08):
queens and vikings in mybloodline, it made me realize
that I come from power, fromsurvival and from legacy, but
also from centuries of silence,repression, and emotional
shutdown.
I wasn't just carrying my ownpain.
I was carrying theirs too.
And the work I'm doing now justisn't about healing myself.
(24:29):
It's about ending cycles, endingthat generational pain that has
echoed through our bloodlinesfor generations.
It's about becoming the queenwho breaks what needed to be
broken and rebuilds somethingstronger in its place.
And I know this not just becauseI've read the books and studied
(24:50):
the frameworks, but because I'mdoing the work and I've done a
lot of work, I've sat in therapyand unpacked my childhood
trauma, the kind that doesn'tjust leave scars.
It rewires you for survival, andI don't wanna go into it here
because it was really traumaticand I survived.
(25:10):
I'm still here.
And I have so much inside me togive.
And I've looked at that littlegirl in me who kept trying to
earn love by fixing everyoneelse's problems.
And I've faced a woman who builtbusinesses while silently
bleeding and giving everythingaway to ex-partners.
(25:33):
And I've called out the parts ofme that tolerated crumbs just to
avoid being alone.
I've done the shadow work, partswork, somatic healing,
journaling, inner child healingattachment.
I've written letters I'll neversend cried over truth I didn't
want to admit and let go ofversions of myself.
(25:54):
I once the thought werepermanent.
And still the work continuesbecause the shadow doesn't leave
overnight.
It shows up quietly in how yourespond and what you excuse and
what you tolerate.
And here's what I've learned.
You cannot heal what you won'tface.
(26:15):
You cannot blame your way tofreedom, and no one is coming to
save you from the parts ofyourself you keep avoiding.
This episode is not aboutjudgment.
It's about invitation.
And as I've written this, a songhas started playing.
One I didn't choose, but maybeit chose me.
(26:35):
We don't talk about it by ThelmaPlum and that line hits like
truth.
Being sung through the bones ofevery woman I've ever known so
the lyrics say.
It doesn't make it better that Iwent first.
We don't talk about it.
If it happened to me, it willhappen to her.
What the girls went through,they just didn't deserve, and
(26:59):
that's really powerful.
That's the universe tapping meon the shoulder, mid-sentence,
mid transmission, saying this isbigger than just your story.
It's lineage, it's legacy, it'sgenerational.
It's the collective silence andI'm the one cracking it open.
And in that moment I knew thisisn't just an episode, this is a
(27:23):
call to speak about what's beingsilenced, to name what's being
normalized, to break the echo.
Because when we don't talk aboutit, we repeat it.
And when we don't talk about it,we hand it to the next girl.
And she carries it like it washers to hold.
So maybe this is your permissionslip to talk about it, write
(27:46):
about it, rage about it, releaseit, because real change doesn't
start with answers.
It starts with truth.
And sometimes the truth hurts somuch that you are blocked from
speaking it.
And sometimes the most radicaltruth is saying, this happened
and it wasn't mine to carry.
(28:06):
Stop saying you want to changewhile feeding the version of you
who fears it.
Stop confusing loyalty with selfabandonment and stop trying to
control others instead ofmastering yourself and ask
yourself this.
What parts of you are keepingyou in rooms, relationships and
routines that are shrinking yourpotential?
(28:27):
Because once you recognize whatyou are not changing, you are
choosing.
You reclaim your power.
You can't change them, but youcan choose you and that choice,
that's where everything begins.
So ask yourself today.
What am I choosing through mysilence, tolerance, or delay?
(28:51):
And what would the futureversion of me choose instead?
Current.
You should always be workinghard for future you, because the
truth is current.
You should always be workinghard for the future.
You not for a hustle, not fromfear.
But from devotion, because yourfuture self is not just waiting.
(29:14):
She's watching.
She's hoping you'll finally backyourself in the way you've
backed everyone else.
So choose her.
She's worth it.
This has been uncharted, and asalways, my links are below.
Come and find me.
I'd love to connect with youuntil next week.
(29:34):
I'm looking for a woman infinance.
crypto five four amber eyes.
And judge it.
Let's go.
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