Episode Transcript
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Cynthia (00:06):
Welcome to, unchartered
and Unfiltered, the journey
back to you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:32):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Unfiltered, let's get started.
Hello, hello, beautiful soul,it is Cynthia Jamieson and I'm
so glad to be here with youtoday.
(00:52):
If you're new to me and my work, welcome, welcome, welcome.
And if you have been here sincethe beginning or somewhere in
between, welcome back.
And today, before we dive in, Iwant to tell you what this
conversation is going to beabout.
If you have ever been the oneholding it all together at work,
at home, in friendships, thisepisode is for you, and by the
(01:13):
end of our time together today,you are going to recognize some
of the quiet everyday ways thatbeing the strong one can slowly
wear down your self-trust.
You will hear howover-functioning shows up and
what it quietly costs you.
(01:34):
You will learn the kinds ofquestions that can help you
shift out of fixer mode and backinto your own knowing of fixer
mode and back into your ownknowing.
You will get a glimpse of whatlife and leadership feel like
when you stop managing everyoneelse's feelings and start
(01:54):
honoring your own, and you willhear about something that I have
been creating behind the scenes.
It is a community for those ofus who are ready to stop
shape-shifting and start leadingand living from our light.
So if you have been carryingmore than your share or if you
(02:15):
have been waiting for permissionto trust yourself again, you
are in the right place.
So let's get into it.
So I want you to imagine for amoment.
Just picture this asix-year-old girl, curious,
determined, a little bold, andshe climbs onto a bus by herself
(02:38):
to go to church and no one toldher to, no one made her.
She just knew something biggerwas calling and she trusted it.
That little girl was me.
Yes, I was that kid, partfiercely independent part.
(02:59):
Now I know mystic in training,and that tiny, tiny, brave
moment.
That was just the start of ajourney that I am still on today
and you can fast forward a lotof years, and I find one of the
very few childhood photos that Istill have.
(03:21):
There's a picture of me my armis around my cousin.
I'm standing inside mygrandparents' white picket fence
, which is in much need of afresh coat of paint.
We should just say, and I justwant to say a moment about this,
I want to say something aboutthis fence, because that fence
(03:41):
felt like home, like safety,like a boundary that whispered
in here you're held.
It was as if my grandparents'hands were outstretched and just
wrapped them around theproperty and that I was inside
(04:06):
of it.
That's how it felt.
For me, this is the mostmeaningful go-to memory in my
mind and it is the memory that Ilove the most, because I don't
even have to close my eyes, butI'm automatically right now,
closing my eyes and going backto that moment and sitting there
(04:30):
on a blanket, playing with mytea set, and the window is open
in the kitchen and the curtainsare coming out through the
window and my grandparents aretalking and I can hear them, and
it's just this beautiful,beautiful memory, and I have no
idea if it's skewed or not.
All I know is it's my memoryand I raise this because this
(04:55):
photo is is really important tome, because most of my photos
well everything was lost in ahouse fire, but most of the
photos were lost in a house fireas well.
And this one, this particularone, it made its way back to me
and I like to think that it knewthat I needed the reminder,
(05:18):
because that's how self-trustworks it holds on in the
background quietly, just waitingfor you to remember that it was
there all along, that it'snever gone anywhere, and so you
had that once too.
You know that version of youwho acted on a knowing, without
(05:39):
permission, without a plan,without needing anyone to sign
off on anything, to give youapproval for anything, to
validate you for anything.
And they're still in there andsomewhere in between that little
girl on the bus and grown up me, I became the fixer all the
(06:02):
time.
I will just say, like it's justtrue, I became a fixer all of
the time, and in corporate HR, Iwas the one that they called
when the wheels came off the bus.
Of course that was part of myrole and I smoothed over the
conflicts.
I held the secrets.
That's one of the things thatmade me amazing at what I was
(06:22):
doing.
I kept the leaders calm, I madesure that the teams kept moving
forward by helping peopleresolve conflict.
And at home it was the samestory.
It was me being the strong one,the capable one, the one who
could take it all on, the onewho was responsible, and in
friendships I showed up with theright words, the good advice,
(06:46):
the practical help, and I didn'toften let people see me need
anything, and on the outside itlooked like leadership.
It even felt like that for me.
It looked like strength, itlooked like responsibility, it
looked like accountability, andit was until it wasn't.
(07:10):
And you might know this feelingwhen your strength is just you,
holding everything so tightlyin your grip that no one else
has to.
And here's the truth Iover-functioned so that others
(07:30):
could under-function.
I don't think that was myintention.
I don't even think that I waseven aware of it.
I did, though.
I read every room like my lifedepended on it.
I was adjusting myself beforeanyone else could judge me.
I read every room like my lifedepended on it.
I was adjusting myself beforeanyone else could judge me.
I carried other people's painso they wouldn't have to feel it
, and I told myself so manytimes that being needed was the
(07:54):
same as being valued, but itwasn't.
But it wasn't.
And the cost.
I lost touch with what I wanted.
I stopped hearing my own bodyand this connects back to my
weight loss journey, which tookme, you know, in and around 35
and having to lose a ton ofweight because I was so
(08:16):
disconnected, I wasn't listening, I wasn't attuned to, I lived
with tension in my shoulders, inmy jaw, in my back.
I had a conversation with aclient the other day and, you
know, tmj I can't even rememberwhat the acronym stands for
anymore, but I had that.
I went through that and it'sjust so interesting to look back
(08:39):
because I was so exhausted andat the same time, I was being
praised and rewarded for holdingit all together and yet, at the
same time, invisible in my ownlife.
And I wore this.
I've got this badge like abadge and deep down I just
(09:04):
wanted someone else to say to meCynthia, you don't have to.
And maybe you've been there.
You've probably been there thatache of wanting to be taken
care of but not knowing how tolet go of the wheel.
And I'm hearing so many of mymentors right now and I'm
hearing myself too right theonly way out is through.
(09:24):
The only way to let go of thewheel is to let go of the wheel.
But I didn't know that then,and so that's when coaching came
for me.
And coaching was not a magic oneAlthough I'll be honest with
you, I would have absolutelytaken one but instead it was
this beautiful mirror, a loving,uncomfortable as hell mirror,
(09:48):
and this mirror asked me to lookat myself, and it asked me
things like what if you didn'tfix this?
Who are you when you're notmanaging everyone else's
feelings?
How does trust feel in yourbody?
(10:10):
And that last one still stillbrings me all the feels and can
bring me to tears, because Ijust didn't know.
I just didn't know I had beenso busy inside of my own
energetic patterns proving,performing and protecting others
(10:31):
that I didn't know how to feelsafe unless I was in control.
And that's how I created thatsense of safety for myself.
And so if you don't know whattrust feels like in your body
right now, I want to offer.
It's not because you're broken.
There is absolutely nothingwrong with you.
(10:53):
It is because you have beensurviving.
And when you're surviving, youare not thriving, you are inside
of an energetic pattern thatyou are addicted to.
I was addicted to it.
Many, many, many, if not all ofmy clients are addicted to it,
(11:15):
and so there is a way that youcan return here.
So, for myself, I started tochoose differently.
Let me just be clear it didn'thappen overnight.
It's not like oh, I justdecided, oh, I see that, let me
make all of the changes all atonce.
And everything was amazing.
That's not what happened.
But I started to choosedifferently.
Not perfection, not control,not approval, but instead
(11:39):
choosing presence, choosingcompassion, choosing choice
making choices, passion,choosing choice making choices.
And on the days that I forgetbecause I still do I have been
reminding myself more and morethese days.
To come back to that little girl, to the one that climbed on the
bus, not because she had to,but because something in her
(12:00):
knew she didn't wait forpermission, she didn't fix
anybody else's discomfort.
She probably didn't wait forpermission.
She didn't fix anybody else'sdiscomfort.
She probably didn't even knowanybody else was even
uncomfortable.
She just trusted the pull towhat she felt called to do.
And that that's what I'mreturning to every damn day, and
maybe, maybe this is why it'sactually, why it's not, maybe
(12:27):
it's not, maybe there is, no,maybe.
This is why I have been buildingsomething, quietly behind the
scenes, and I will tell you itstarted as a spark and ember,
and I can't remember whichepisode that I talked about it,
but I shared the song aboutfanning the ember and that's
what I have been doing, and sothat was very resonant and very
true for me, and it is a whisperinside of me that just wouldn't
(12:53):
go away.
And so for months probably fiveor six months now I have been
tending to this, fanning theflame, trusting the pull, even
before I had the full picture.
It's like it doesn't evenmatter what the picture is.
I was trusting the pull of whatI felt called to do, and now
it's ready Be the light iscoming to life.
(13:14):
What is be the light?
It is a community for those ofus who are ready to stop
shape-shifting, to stop proving,performing and perfecting, and
start living and leading fromour truth, from our heart, from
our light.
And so this is a community thatwill be for the ones who want
(13:34):
to say no without guilt and meanit.
And, of course, it's going tobe a learning, because it's
going to be something new thatyou haven't done before.
That's okay, I'm going to getyou.
I've got you.
It's for the places, it's forthe people who want to make
space for rest and realself-care and self-identify.
This is still a journey thatI'm still on.
I am not perfect.
I am an imperfect human beingwho gets up every day when my
(13:58):
feet touch the floor.
Every day, it's an opportunityto try again, to choose again,
to keep going, to not give up.
And this is going to be a spacefor people to get clear on what
truly matters your values, yourboundaries, your priorities.
It's going to be a space foryou to reclaim power at work
without waiting for permission.
(14:19):
It's going to be a place toclear the clutter inside and out
and come home to yourself.
And every piece of this hasbeen created with love and so
much deep intention, becauseleadership and life feel
different when you're groundedin who you really are.
(14:41):
And this week, this last week, Imade it official.
You can't see me right now, butI have the biggest smile on my
face.
I bought the platformsubscription, I finalized the
new website.
I'm meeting with my, the personwho's been helping me with my
website.
We're meeting tomorrow morningto sign everything off.
And now I'm telling you for thefirst time.
(15:03):
And so if something in yourheart just whispered or echoed
to you finally, or your bodygave you that quiet, yes, there
is a place for you here in thiscommunity.
And if your body whispered, yes, just now, trust that.
You don't need to know thewhole path yet.
(15:23):
Just stay close, because I willbe walking it with you.
And, by the way, accessibilitymatters to me, so Be the Light
will be including different waysto engage, at various price
points, various energy levelsand life seasons.
So, whether you are in, ifyou're an all-in or if you're
(15:44):
gently circling the edge, youwill be welcomed exactly as you
are.
And so I want to ask you, as Iclose what is it that you are
craving right now?
What would it mean to live andlead more from your light?
And if something stirred in you, I would love you to come and
(16:05):
find me, send me a DM, send mean email, connect with me in
some way, because I would loveto hear what your inner compass
is telling you.
And until next time, keeplistening to that compass,
because it already knows.
Welcome to Unchartered andUnfiltered the journey back to
(16:26):
you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(16:46):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.