September 2, 2025 • 24 mins
“You can’t water the roses if you’re stepping on the hose.”
This simple yet powerful metaphor captures what so many high-integrity leaders feel today: labouring under invisible weights while cutting off their own flow of wisdom, energy, and creativity.
But what if leadership didn’t have to mean working harder? What if it could mean letting the water flow again?
In this reflective episode, Cynthia Jamieson explores how our saboteur brains convince us that safety, success, and love come only through pressing harder. The roses are your leadership, relationships, and dreams. The water is your energy, wisdom, and love. And every time perfectionism, people-pleasing, or proving takes over, you’re stepping on your own source of power.
Through four pathways of liberation—🌱 inner growth, 💬 collective wisdom, 🔧 practical tools, and 🌟 ripple impact—you’ll learn how to take your foot off the hose and allow your authentic leadership to bloom. Because most leaders aren’t short on strategy; they’re short on self-trust.
This isn’t theory—it’s transformation. When you trust yourself, embrace community, and expand your definition of success beyond achievement, you create a legacy rooted in authenticity, not performance.
✨ Ready to take your foot off the hose? Join Be the Light—our free community where these principles come alive in practice. The water was always yours. Now it’s time to let it flow.
Please rate and review with your honest opinion. Subscribe and share with your colleagues especially if you have worked with me and found value in the work we’ve done together.
Connect with me in my favourite places, LinkedIn and Instagram and my website is: https://www.cynthiajamiesoncoach.ca/
Make it a great week!
Cynthia Jamieson 🧡🌱
Leadership coach for high-integrity leaders who want to thrive without proving or burning out | Ex-HR Exec | ICF PCC Coach | Podcast Host | Intuitive Intelligence® Method Guide
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cynthia (00:06):
Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back
to you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:32):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Unchartered and
Unfiltered a journey back to you.
I am Cynthia Jamieson, yourhost, and I'm so happy that you
(00:55):
are here, and I'm happy to behere as I'm recording this.
It is Labor Day here in Canada,and that is a day that,
historically, was about fightingfor fair work, dignity and rest
.
And it feels so symbolic to betalking about this today,
(01:16):
because so many of us are stilllaboring under invisible weights
.
We're laboring underperfectionism.
We're laboring underpeople-pleasing.
We're laboring under the beliefthat our worth comes only from
what we produce, and that's thesaboteur brain at work.
It convinces us that the onlyway to be safe or successful or
(01:39):
loved is to keep pressing harder, stepping on our own hose.
But here's the truth you can'twater the roses if you're
stepping on the hose.
I read this somewhere last weekand I cannot stop thinking
about it, which is why we'rehaving a podcast episode so that
(01:59):
I can talk about it.
So the roses are yourleadership, your relationships,
your dreams, and the water isyour energy, your wisdom, your
love, and every time thesaboteur brain presses down, it
cuts off the very flow that wasdesigned to nourish you.
And so this is why, when I satdown last week I think it was
(02:23):
last week, or maybe the weekbefore, doesn't really matter I
did sit down to create a list of150 ways that Be the Light
community supports leaders andin doing that exercise.
So you might be curious, why didI do that?
I did that because I am really,really wanting to create a
(02:47):
community where I know I mean, Ialready know this on my heart
of hearts I know that it createschange.
I know that it will change yourlife, I know that it will have
ripple impacts that I will never, ever know, and also I know
that for me myself, when I am inparticular, community
(03:09):
experiences, how much value thatI have received as a result of
putting myself in the space sothat I can be exposed to
different thoughts.
I can be exposed to differentindividuals, different
perspectives, ways of thinking,ways of being, ways of
challenging things, ways ofexperimenting.
(03:31):
So there's so much value inthat and I wanted to work my
mind through what were theseways as it related to the Be the
Light community, and so I didthat and it took me some time.
I had to like pause when mybrain was like, okay, it's full,
(03:51):
there's no more Cynthia,there's no more, there's no more
ways that Be the Light can besupporting leaders than what you
have here.
And I kept bringing myself backand bringing myself back.
And when I finished it I'mbringing myself back.
And when I finished it, I justpaused and contemplated it and
what I saw?
There were really 150 ways ofliberation, 150 ways of
(04:18):
remembering that leadershipdoesn't have to mean laboring
harder.
It can mean letting the waterflow again, liberating your
voice, liberating your energy,liberating your choices,
liberating the parts of you thathave been silenced or
(04:39):
suppressed.
And if you are listening tothis, chances are you are a high
integrity leader.
You are someone who's beencarrying a lot, maybe trying to
hold it all together and thislist of 150 ways and I'm not
going to share them all with you, so don't worry, but that list
was written with you in mind andwhen I grouped them, the 150
(05:06):
ways there were four clearpillars that emerged, and the
way that I look at them formyself is they're not just
categories although they can bethey're pathways back to flow,
and so what I want to do todayis bring you through those
pillars.
And so what I want to do todayis bring you through those
pillars, share some of thosereasons and why any and all of
(05:28):
it matters.
And let me start with the veryfirst one.
So the very first pillar isinner growth.
This is about liberating yourrelationship with yourself.
This pillar is about untanglingthe hose, the places where you
have cut yourself off from yourown flow.
Your beautiful brain has cutyou off from your own flow, and
(05:57):
some of the ways that Be theLight will support you is you
will learn to trust yourselfagain.
That is way number 50.
You will deepen your commitmentto yourself.
That is number 14.
You will discover freshperspectives that you couldn't
see before.
That's number 15.
And you will create more easeand less internal chaos.
(06:19):
That's number 69.
So why does this matter?
It matters because most leadersthat I work with are actually
not short on strategy.
What they are short on isself-trust.
They are running on adrenalineinstead of alignment.
And inner growth is theliberation of your inner
(06:40):
authority.
It's only through doing theinner work that you can
recognize and see that you havehad the power all along and in
all of the ways, in all theprevious podcasts that I've
talked about how we give awayour power when we allow someone
else to have authority over usversus having and being in our
(07:03):
own inner authority.
So the second pillar is aroundcollective wisdom, and this is
the way that I think about this.
One is in community.
When you are in community, youliberate yourself from your
isolation, and this is themoment when you realize that you
(07:26):
don't have to hold the hose allalone, that you don't have to
hold the hose all alone.
You will see that you're notthe only one who thinks or
struggles in a certain way.
You will be supported bylike-minded leaders, seekers and
visionaries.
That's number five.
You will spark new friendshipsand opportunities that you just
(07:48):
could not have planned.
I mean, I don't know when thatwill happen, but I know that it
will.
And that's number six.
You will feel part of somethingbigger than yourself, and that
is number 54.
So this pillar liberates youfrom the myth of I should have
this all figured out by myself,and it reminds you that
(08:11):
leadership is relational, thatit's not solidary.
And it's so fascinating to mebecause, if I think about the
patterns and themes from all ofmy clients, the thing that they
always have in common is thisidea that they must have
everything figured out on theirown, that they must know all of
the answers, that there is aright way to solving things.
(08:33):
And the reality is that's justnot true.
And I myself have one of thesebeautiful brains that loves to
see things in black and white,and when I first started working
with one of my coaches, shechallenged me with so much love
to think about how could Iexplore what's in between the
(08:53):
black and the white answers?
And in doing that, I was reallyable to see that there was so
much possibility that theretruly, truly and I have evidence
for this that there is no rightway to lead, there is no right
way to say something, there isno right way to do something.
(09:14):
There are certainly ways thatare quote unquote better than
the other ways, and also thatonly with you finding out your
right way that it can be a waythat feels so good for you.
And what's been fascinating Iwas talking with a friend of
mine about this on the weekendis that I truly believe there is
(09:36):
no right way.
In every fiber of my being, andwhen my clients initially start
working with me, of course theirbrain is oriented to that fact
that in their mind, their brainsees it as a fact that there is
a right way and that somebodyelse has it and that they don't,
which makes them feel bad orwrong and keeps them always
(09:58):
seeking answers outside ofthemselves.
Versus, actually, if none ofthat was available and you had
to rely on yourself, what wouldbe the answer that you would
come up with?
How would you solve whateverthis is that you're facing in
this moment?
And so that gives people theperspective when I'm able to
hold that belief that there isno right way.
(10:20):
And if there isn't any rightway, then what do you want to do
?
What would the options be?
What would it look like, feellike, sound like?
That gives them such an exhalewhere they can just release all
of the attachment to the thingthat they, that their beautiful
brain, is attached to, and Ijust think that's so, so
beautiful.
(10:40):
I can't think of any other wayto describe it than to just be
able to witness someone elseliterally release themselves
like this.
This is when their you know,their shoulders drop down or
they stand a little taller, orthey feel like they have a smile
, or their eyes light up alittle bit, and I'm sure you
(11:04):
know what I mean when I say that.
Right, if you look at littlekids, when they something,
surprising them, I mean you cansee it in the facial expressions
, you can see it in the body andhow it responds, and I just
think that's amazing.
Anyways, I went off a littletangent there.
I want to move to pillar numberthree, which is about practical
tools.
Now, if you all know me, youknow that I love meesa,
(11:27):
practical tools, and the reasonwhy I love them so much is
because it liberates you fromconfusion and from over
complication.
So you can think of this pillaras the nozzle on the hose which
will give you your energydirection.
Right, you will learn in thiscommunity how to say no without
(11:52):
guilt.
That's reason number 40.
You will use your values asdecision makers, like.
I could do an entire podcast onthis.
This is number 57.
I already have done values.
I can't remember if it was.
I think it was number two,episode number two.
If you haven't listened to that, I invite you to go back and
listen to that, becauseunderstanding your values and
(12:14):
really getting super clear onwhat things really matter to you
can help you understand andnavigate any and all situations
with integrity, so that when yougo to bed at night, you go to
bed with you more than you doanyone else.
You sleep better becausewhatever decision you've made,
(12:42):
it's in alignment with yourinternal compass, your GPS, your
decision maker, your values,the things that matter most to
you, your values, the thingsthat matter most to you.
You will also, from a practicaltool perspective, you will
practice reframing thoselimiting thoughts.
That's number 60.
And you will have access toreal-time support when you need
(13:04):
it.
That's number 59.
Now I'm just going to set anexpectation, because it doesn't
mean that I'm going to be online24 seven, because that wouldn't
be liberating for me, but itdoes mean that you will have
access to support.
You can have advice, you canhave coaching.
You can have access to my, mymentoring brain, my HR brain, my
coach brain, all the brains youget access to that when and for
(13:28):
those of you that join, be theLight.
And what I love so much aboutthis practical tools is that
this is liberation fromoverthinking, from analysis,
paralysis, from circling thesame problem without an exit
right, people getting stuck andpractical tools.
(13:49):
Here's what it gives you.
It gives you not only the toolthat's amazing, right, people
getting stuck and practicaltools here's what it gives you.
It gives you not only the toolthat's amazing, right, it gives
you language.
You have the framework in thetool but it also anchors you so
that you can act in alignmentinstead of spinning in confusion
, so you can take your foot offof the hose and allow that
(14:14):
creativity, that innovation, thejoy, the love, like all those
other feelings that are alwaysavailable to you, even though
society tells us they're not.
They are, and all that'srequired is us to learn how to
work with ourselves instead ofagainst ourselves.
And so the practical toolsliterally any and all of them in
(14:35):
the free community, if younever do anything other than
joining the free community,which literally takes you 60
seconds to create an account.
No credit card required,there's absolutely no strings
required here.
My whole mission is to helppeople change the world of work
and how we do that is bychanging how we think about the
world of work, and it's bychanging how we talk to
(14:58):
ourselves, our relationship thatwe have with ourselves.
And all of this brings me topillar number four, which is the
ripple impact, and this isliberating your influence and
your legacy.
So let me take a pause.
Let's talk about the gardenitself for a moment.
(15:19):
The roses, the fruit, the shade, all of it is part of the
garden.
And when you think about theimpact here, as a leader, a
seeker, a visionary, you willmodel vulnerability which will
ripple out to your team.
That is number 131.
(15:41):
You will normalize saying Idon't know, as a strength, not a
weakness.
That's number 142.
And there's something I want toadd about this one specifically,
because I love this one sofreaking much.
Human brains love to tell usthat we don't know the answer,
(16:02):
and there's a couple of waysthat I just love to work with
this.
But also, how can I don't knowif we can get really, really,
really curious about that.
How can it be a strength.
How can it be the most amazingthing that you don't freaking
know?
Like when you don't know, youget to fuck around and find out.
(16:22):
That's what some of my coachesare saying and I'm like, yes, I
can.
Actually, when I first heardthat I was like, what are they
even talking about?
But when you don't know, youget to find out.
That's something that you.
There's so many opportunitiesand possibilities there when you
can normalize saying I don'tknow and it doesn't have to be a
problem.
You will also expand yourdefinition of success.
(16:45):
This is number 47.
And I love this one so muchbecause success for me just hand
on heart, used to be all thisachievement, all this pushing
and all of this performing, andnow it's not that.
Success is how much fun am Ihaving, how much joy am I
creating, how much am Iappreciating what I already have
(17:07):
?
How much am I experiencingpresence in my life?
I've completely shifted andchanged the definition of
success, and I probably willanother hundred times.
Who knows?
I get to change it as manytimes as I like.
You will also leave a legacy oflight simply by being yourself.
(17:33):
That is number 150.
And I love this one so muchbecause it absolutely breaks my
heart when I have people come tome and their goal is to learn
how to lead like someone else,and I can't help but think about
(17:55):
what a disservice that is toeveryone, especially the
beautiful soul across from me inthe Zoom room that is thinking
that the way for them is tobecome someone else.
We don't do that here.
You will leave your legacy ofyour light by being yourself,
(18:20):
your uniqueness, your talents,your energy, your strengths,
your solutions, your leadership.
That pillar, this pillar isabout liberating your impact
from performance and proving.
It is about shifting theculture around you family, team,
(18:42):
community simply by embodyingyour truth and trust.
And when I take a step back andI look at these pillars, these
(19:04):
pillars I don't just see theory.
I see my own story, because Iused to be the one pressing on
my hose pretty darn hard and I'mrealizing, as I'm saying, this
real time.
This isn't just a metaphor forme.
I've lived this and I wroteabout this on the weekend, but I
remember so vividly still beingin corporate HR at the time, in
(19:25):
2022.
And every morning I would dragmyself out of bed.
And when I say drag myself outof bed, I feel like I need to
qualify that, because it's notlike it sounds, like the
language that I'm using soundslike I literally couldn't get
out of bed.
That wasn't the case, but I wasdragging myself, I was
mustering up the energy to do itall again.
(19:48):
I was cheerleading myself youcan do this.
It's amazing.
Of course you're going to likeit.
It's not as bad as you think.
And each night I would pour whatwas left of me into coaching,
which was the actual thing thatlit me up.
And so I was in this energeticpattern every morning of working
(20:09):
against myself to try and getmyself to do something I really
didn't want to do, and then Iwas ending each night on such a
high.
There was such a polarity inwhat I was experiencing.
And then one morning I willnever forget it I put my head
down on my desk and I just saidto myself I can't do this
(20:31):
anymore.
And that was my hose moment.
My saboteurs had me convincedthat I had to keep stepping
harder, working harder, provingmore, and don't let them see you
sweat like you can do this, butthat wasn't watering anything
in me at all.
(20:52):
It was drying me out.
I was so thirsty, drying me out, I was so thirsty.
And so when I look at these 150ways that the Be the Light
community supports leaders,again I see my own story written
in them, because it wasn'tuntil I stepped off of my hose
(21:17):
and into my own liberation,trusting myself, asking for help
, practicing boundaries againand again and again, letting
myself be seen, letting myselfbe heard, letting myself be
acknowledged, that things beganto bloom.
(21:41):
My career shifted, my energyreturned and, maybe most
importantly, I stopped feelinglike I had to hold it all
together alone.
That's the work, that's theliberation, that's taking your
foot off the damn hose.
And so here's my invitation toyou when are you stepping on
(22:04):
your hose?
Is it saying yes when your gutsays no?
Is it pretending that you'refine when you're not?
I heard this the other day Fineis not a feeling.
And I used to answer everybody.
Everybody would ask me how areyou feeling?
I'd say fine when I was neverfine.
Are you working twice as hardto prove what's already true?
(22:28):
And what would happen if youshifted your weight, if you gave
yourself permission, permissionto take your foot off even for
a breath, even for a moment?
That's why I created Be theLight.
It is not just a community, itis a practice ground, because
(22:50):
liberation is not a one-timechoice, it is a daily choice, it
is a daily remembering.
And Be the Light is a placewith 150 doorways into
liberation Liberation of yourvoice, liberation of your
choices, liberation of yourleadership and your legacy,
because leadership doesn't haveto mean laboring harder.
(23:12):
It can mean letting the waterflow again.
So again, here's my invitationTake your foot off the hose.
Watch what happens when you do.
The roses bloom, you bloom, andremember the water was always
yours.
(23:32):
Until next time, friends, keepchoosing your light.
Hello, hello.
So true confession.
I finished recording thisepisode and then realized that I
forgot the most important part,which is inviting you into Be
the Light.
This is where everything thatI've talked about today comes
alive in community.
The link is in the show notes.
(23:52):
Come and join us.
See you there.
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
(24:14):
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at
wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca, wherewe'll deepen our relationship
(24:35):
and you can claim your copy ofyour Compass, a guide to
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true and, most
importantly, stay you.
Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back
to you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:32):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Unchartered and
Unfiltered a journey back to you.
I am Cynthia Jamieson, yourhost, and I'm so happy that you
(00:55):
are here, and I'm happy to behere as I'm recording this.
It is Labor Day here in Canada,and that is a day that,
historically, was about fightingfor fair work, dignity and rest
.
And it feels so symbolic to betalking about this today,
(01:16):
because so many of us are stilllaboring under invisible weights
.
We're laboring underperfectionism.
We're laboring underpeople-pleasing.
We're laboring under the beliefthat our worth comes only from
what we produce, and that's thesaboteur brain at work.
It convinces us that the onlyway to be safe or successful or
(01:39):
loved is to keep pressing harder, stepping on our own hose.
But here's the truth you can'twater the roses if you're
stepping on the hose.
I read this somewhere last weekand I cannot stop thinking
about it, which is why we'rehaving a podcast episode so that
(01:59):
I can talk about it.
So the roses are yourleadership, your relationships,
your dreams, and the water isyour energy, your wisdom, your
love, and every time thesaboteur brain presses down, it
cuts off the very flow that wasdesigned to nourish you.
And so this is why, when I satdown last week I think it was
(02:23):
last week, or maybe the weekbefore, doesn't really matter I
did sit down to create a list of150 ways that Be the Light
community supports leaders andin doing that exercise.
So you might be curious, why didI do that?
I did that because I am really,really wanting to create a
(02:47):
community where I know I mean, Ialready know this on my heart
of hearts I know that it createschange.
I know that it will change yourlife, I know that it will have
ripple impacts that I will never, ever know, and also I know
that for me myself, when I am inparticular, community
(03:09):
experiences, how much value thatI have received as a result of
putting myself in the space sothat I can be exposed to
different thoughts.
I can be exposed to differentindividuals, different
perspectives, ways of thinking,ways of being, ways of
challenging things, ways ofexperimenting.
(03:31):
So there's so much value inthat and I wanted to work my
mind through what were theseways as it related to the Be the
Light community, and so I didthat and it took me some time.
I had to like pause when mybrain was like, okay, it's full,
(03:51):
there's no more Cynthia,there's no more, there's no more
ways that Be the Light can besupporting leaders than what you
have here.
And I kept bringing myself backand bringing myself back.
And when I finished it I'mbringing myself back.
And when I finished it, I justpaused and contemplated it and
what I saw?
There were really 150 ways ofliberation, 150 ways of
(04:18):
remembering that leadershipdoesn't have to mean laboring
harder.
It can mean letting the waterflow again, liberating your
voice, liberating your energy,liberating your choices,
liberating the parts of you thathave been silenced or
(04:39):
suppressed.
And if you are listening tothis, chances are you are a high
integrity leader.
You are someone who's beencarrying a lot, maybe trying to
hold it all together and thislist of 150 ways and I'm not
going to share them all with you, so don't worry, but that list
was written with you in mind andwhen I grouped them, the 150
(05:06):
ways there were four clearpillars that emerged, and the
way that I look at them formyself is they're not just
categories although they can bethey're pathways back to flow,
and so what I want to do todayis bring you through those
pillars.
And so what I want to do todayis bring you through those
pillars, share some of thosereasons and why any and all of
(05:28):
it matters.
And let me start with the veryfirst one.
So the very first pillar isinner growth.
This is about liberating yourrelationship with yourself.
This pillar is about untanglingthe hose, the places where you
have cut yourself off from yourown flow.
Your beautiful brain has cutyou off from your own flow, and
(05:57):
some of the ways that Be theLight will support you is you
will learn to trust yourselfagain.
That is way number 50.
You will deepen your commitmentto yourself.
That is number 14.
You will discover freshperspectives that you couldn't
see before.
That's number 15.
And you will create more easeand less internal chaos.
(06:19):
That's number 69.
So why does this matter?
It matters because most leadersthat I work with are actually
not short on strategy.
What they are short on isself-trust.
They are running on adrenalineinstead of alignment.
And inner growth is theliberation of your inner
(06:40):
authority.
It's only through doing theinner work that you can
recognize and see that you havehad the power all along and in
all of the ways, in all theprevious podcasts that I've
talked about how we give awayour power when we allow someone
else to have authority over usversus having and being in our
(07:03):
own inner authority.
So the second pillar is aroundcollective wisdom, and this is
the way that I think about this.
One is in community.
When you are in community, youliberate yourself from your
isolation, and this is themoment when you realize that you
(07:26):
don't have to hold the hose allalone, that you don't have to
hold the hose all alone.
You will see that you're notthe only one who thinks or
struggles in a certain way.
You will be supported bylike-minded leaders, seekers and
visionaries.
That's number five.
You will spark new friendshipsand opportunities that you just
(07:48):
could not have planned.
I mean, I don't know when thatwill happen, but I know that it
will.
And that's number six.
You will feel part of somethingbigger than yourself, and that
is number 54.
So this pillar liberates youfrom the myth of I should have
this all figured out by myself,and it reminds you that
(08:11):
leadership is relational, thatit's not solidary.
And it's so fascinating to mebecause, if I think about the
patterns and themes from all ofmy clients, the thing that they
always have in common is thisidea that they must have
everything figured out on theirown, that they must know all of
the answers, that there is aright way to solving things.
(08:33):
And the reality is that's justnot true.
And I myself have one of thesebeautiful brains that loves to
see things in black and white,and when I first started working
with one of my coaches, shechallenged me with so much love
to think about how could Iexplore what's in between the
(08:53):
black and the white answers?
And in doing that, I was reallyable to see that there was so
much possibility that theretruly, truly and I have evidence
for this that there is no rightway to lead, there is no right
way to say something, there isno right way to do something.
(09:14):
There are certainly ways thatare quote unquote better than
the other ways, and also thatonly with you finding out your
right way that it can be a waythat feels so good for you.
And what's been fascinating Iwas talking with a friend of
mine about this on the weekendis that I truly believe there is
(09:36):
no right way.
In every fiber of my being, andwhen my clients initially start
working with me, of course theirbrain is oriented to that fact
that in their mind, their brainsees it as a fact that there is
a right way and that somebodyelse has it and that they don't,
which makes them feel bad orwrong and keeps them always
(09:58):
seeking answers outside ofthemselves.
Versus, actually, if none ofthat was available and you had
to rely on yourself, what wouldbe the answer that you would
come up with?
How would you solve whateverthis is that you're facing in
this moment?
And so that gives people theperspective when I'm able to
hold that belief that there isno right way.
(10:20):
And if there isn't any rightway, then what do you want to do
?
What would the options be?
What would it look like, feellike, sound like?
That gives them such an exhalewhere they can just release all
of the attachment to the thingthat they, that their beautiful
brain, is attached to, and Ijust think that's so, so
beautiful.
(10:40):
I can't think of any other wayto describe it than to just be
able to witness someone elseliterally release themselves
like this.
This is when their you know,their shoulders drop down or
they stand a little taller, orthey feel like they have a smile
, or their eyes light up alittle bit, and I'm sure you
(11:04):
know what I mean when I say that.
Right, if you look at littlekids, when they something,
surprising them, I mean you cansee it in the facial expressions
, you can see it in the body andhow it responds, and I just
think that's amazing.
Anyways, I went off a littletangent there.
I want to move to pillar numberthree, which is about practical
tools.
Now, if you all know me, youknow that I love meesa,
(11:27):
practical tools, and the reasonwhy I love them so much is
because it liberates you fromconfusion and from over
complication.
So you can think of this pillaras the nozzle on the hose which
will give you your energydirection.
Right, you will learn in thiscommunity how to say no without
(11:52):
guilt.
That's reason number 40.
You will use your values asdecision makers, like.
I could do an entire podcast onthis.
This is number 57.
I already have done values.
I can't remember if it was.
I think it was number two,episode number two.
If you haven't listened to that, I invite you to go back and
listen to that, becauseunderstanding your values and
(12:14):
really getting super clear onwhat things really matter to you
can help you understand andnavigate any and all situations
with integrity, so that when yougo to bed at night, you go to
bed with you more than you doanyone else.
You sleep better becausewhatever decision you've made,
(12:42):
it's in alignment with yourinternal compass, your GPS, your
decision maker, your values,the things that matter most to
you, your values, the thingsthat matter most to you.
You will also, from a practicaltool perspective, you will
practice reframing thoselimiting thoughts.
That's number 60.
And you will have access toreal-time support when you need
(13:04):
it.
That's number 59.
Now I'm just going to set anexpectation, because it doesn't
mean that I'm going to be online24 seven, because that wouldn't
be liberating for me, but itdoes mean that you will have
access to support.
You can have advice, you canhave coaching.
You can have access to my, mymentoring brain, my HR brain, my
coach brain, all the brains youget access to that when and for
(13:28):
those of you that join, be theLight.
And what I love so much aboutthis practical tools is that
this is liberation fromoverthinking, from analysis,
paralysis, from circling thesame problem without an exit
right, people getting stuck andpractical tools.
(13:49):
Here's what it gives you.
It gives you not only the toolthat's amazing, right, people
getting stuck and practicaltools here's what it gives you.
It gives you not only the toolthat's amazing, right, it gives
you language.
You have the framework in thetool but it also anchors you so
that you can act in alignmentinstead of spinning in confusion
, so you can take your foot offof the hose and allow that
(14:14):
creativity, that innovation, thejoy, the love, like all those
other feelings that are alwaysavailable to you, even though
society tells us they're not.
They are, and all that'srequired is us to learn how to
work with ourselves instead ofagainst ourselves.
And so the practical toolsliterally any and all of them in
(14:35):
the free community, if younever do anything other than
joining the free community,which literally takes you 60
seconds to create an account.
No credit card required,there's absolutely no strings
required here.
My whole mission is to helppeople change the world of work
and how we do that is bychanging how we think about the
world of work, and it's bychanging how we talk to
(14:58):
ourselves, our relationship thatwe have with ourselves.
And all of this brings me topillar number four, which is the
ripple impact, and this isliberating your influence and
your legacy.
So let me take a pause.
Let's talk about the gardenitself for a moment.
(15:19):
The roses, the fruit, the shade, all of it is part of the
garden.
And when you think about theimpact here, as a leader, a
seeker, a visionary, you willmodel vulnerability which will
ripple out to your team.
That is number 131.
(15:41):
You will normalize saying Idon't know, as a strength, not a
weakness.
That's number 142.
And there's something I want toadd about this one specifically,
because I love this one sofreaking much.
Human brains love to tell usthat we don't know the answer,
(16:02):
and there's a couple of waysthat I just love to work with
this.
But also, how can I don't knowif we can get really, really,
really curious about that.
How can it be a strength.
How can it be the most amazingthing that you don't freaking
know?
Like when you don't know, youget to fuck around and find out.
(16:22):
That's what some of my coachesare saying and I'm like, yes, I
can.
Actually, when I first heardthat I was like, what are they
even talking about?
But when you don't know, youget to find out.
That's something that you.
There's so many opportunitiesand possibilities there when you
can normalize saying I don'tknow and it doesn't have to be a
problem.
You will also expand yourdefinition of success.
(16:45):
This is number 47.
And I love this one so muchbecause success for me just hand
on heart, used to be all thisachievement, all this pushing
and all of this performing, andnow it's not that.
Success is how much fun am Ihaving, how much joy am I
creating, how much am Iappreciating what I already have
(17:07):
?
How much am I experiencingpresence in my life?
I've completely shifted andchanged the definition of
success, and I probably willanother hundred times.
Who knows?
I get to change it as manytimes as I like.
You will also leave a legacy oflight simply by being yourself.
(17:33):
That is number 150.
And I love this one so muchbecause it absolutely breaks my
heart when I have people come tome and their goal is to learn
how to lead like someone else,and I can't help but think about
(17:55):
what a disservice that is toeveryone, especially the
beautiful soul across from me inthe Zoom room that is thinking
that the way for them is tobecome someone else.
We don't do that here.
You will leave your legacy ofyour light by being yourself,
(18:20):
your uniqueness, your talents,your energy, your strengths,
your solutions, your leadership.
That pillar, this pillar isabout liberating your impact
from performance and proving.
It is about shifting theculture around you family, team,
(18:42):
community simply by embodyingyour truth and trust.
And when I take a step back andI look at these pillars, these
(19:04):
pillars I don't just see theory.
I see my own story, because Iused to be the one pressing on
my hose pretty darn hard and I'mrealizing, as I'm saying, this
real time.
This isn't just a metaphor forme.
I've lived this and I wroteabout this on the weekend, but I
remember so vividly still beingin corporate HR at the time, in
(19:25):
2022.
And every morning I would dragmyself out of bed.
And when I say drag myself outof bed, I feel like I need to
qualify that, because it's notlike it sounds, like the
language that I'm using soundslike I literally couldn't get
out of bed.
That wasn't the case, but I wasdragging myself, I was
mustering up the energy to do itall again.
(19:48):
I was cheerleading myself youcan do this.
It's amazing.
Of course you're going to likeit.
It's not as bad as you think.
And each night I would pour whatwas left of me into coaching,
which was the actual thing thatlit me up.
And so I was in this energeticpattern every morning of working
(20:09):
against myself to try and getmyself to do something I really
didn't want to do, and then Iwas ending each night on such a
high.
There was such a polarity inwhat I was experiencing.
And then one morning I willnever forget it I put my head
down on my desk and I just saidto myself I can't do this
(20:31):
anymore.
And that was my hose moment.
My saboteurs had me convincedthat I had to keep stepping
harder, working harder, provingmore, and don't let them see you
sweat like you can do this, butthat wasn't watering anything
in me at all.
(20:52):
It was drying me out.
I was so thirsty, drying me out, I was so thirsty.
And so when I look at these 150ways that the Be the Light
community supports leaders,again I see my own story written
in them, because it wasn'tuntil I stepped off of my hose
(21:17):
and into my own liberation,trusting myself, asking for help
, practicing boundaries againand again and again, letting
myself be seen, letting myselfbe heard, letting myself be
acknowledged, that things beganto bloom.
(21:41):
My career shifted, my energyreturned and, maybe most
importantly, I stopped feelinglike I had to hold it all
together alone.
That's the work, that's theliberation, that's taking your
foot off the damn hose.
And so here's my invitation toyou when are you stepping on
(22:04):
your hose?
Is it saying yes when your gutsays no?
Is it pretending that you'refine when you're not?
I heard this the other day Fineis not a feeling.
And I used to answer everybody.
Everybody would ask me how areyou feeling?
I'd say fine when I was neverfine.
Are you working twice as hardto prove what's already true?
(22:28):
And what would happen if youshifted your weight, if you gave
yourself permission, permissionto take your foot off even for
a breath, even for a moment?
That's why I created Be theLight.
It is not just a community, itis a practice ground, because
(22:50):
liberation is not a one-timechoice, it is a daily choice, it
is a daily remembering.
And Be the Light is a placewith 150 doorways into
liberation Liberation of yourvoice, liberation of your
choices, liberation of yourleadership and your legacy,
because leadership doesn't haveto mean laboring harder.
(23:12):
It can mean letting the waterflow again.
So again, here's my invitationTake your foot off the hose.
Watch what happens when you do.
The roses bloom, you bloom, andremember the water was always
yours.
(23:32):
Until next time, friends, keepchoosing your light.
Hello, hello.
So true confession.
I finished recording thisepisode and then realized that I
forgot the most important part,which is inviting you into Be
the Light.
This is where everything thatI've talked about today comes
alive in community.
The link is in the show notes.
(23:52):
Come and join us.
See you there.
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
(24:14):
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at
wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca, wherewe'll deepen our relationship
(24:35):
and you can claim your copy ofyour Compass, a guide to
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true and, most
importantly, stay you.
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