September 9, 2025 • 21 mins
Most of us would rather wait for a prescription than give ourselves what we already know we need.
In this episode of Unchartered and Unfiltered: A Journey Back to You, Cynthia Jamieson explores why prescriptions feel safer than self-trust, and how this shows up in leadership and life. From waiting for your boss to set priorities, to saying yes when you’re already at capacity, to hoping your company will sponsor coaching before you invest in yourself — Cynthia shares real client stories and her own lived experiences of breaking free from the “permission slip” trap.
You’ll discover:
- Why avoidance feels safe but keeps you stuck.
- How saboteurs hijack your brain and Positive Intelligence can help you shift.
- Simple, practical ways leaders have stopped outsourcing authority and started trusting themselves.
This isn’t about waiting for someone else’s magic pad of paper. It’s about writing your own prescription — and trusting yourself enough to take it.
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✨ Join Be the Light—our free community where these principles come alive in practice.
And if “no” is the prescription you’ve been avoiding, the Power of No Workbook is a simple place to start. For $22, you’ll uncover why saying no feels so hard, create your own “No Script,” and practice protecting your energy — without the guilt.
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Please rate and review with your honest opinion. Subscribe and share with your colleagues especially if you have worked with me and found value in the work we’ve done together.
Connect with me in my favourite places, LinkedIn and Instagram and my website is: https://www.cynthiajamiesoncoach.ca/
Make it a great week!
Cynthia Jamieson 🧡🌱
Leadership coach for high-integrity leaders who want to thrive without proving or burning out | Ex-HR Exec | ICF PCC Coach | Podcast Host | Intuitive Intelligence® Method Guide
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cynthia (00:06):
Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back
to you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:32):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Unchartered and
Unfiltered a journey back to you.
I am Cynthia Jamieson, yourhost, and I'm so happy to be
(00:52):
here with you today, and I justwant to say, getting out of the
gate, I feel a little spicytoday.
I want to poke at somethingthat might sting a little in
today's episode, and it'ssomething that I have been
noticing everywhere, and I wantto use a metaphor because it is
(01:16):
something that we all recognize.
And so here's what I want toshare with you Just going to
dive right in today.
Here's what I want to sharewith you Just going to dive
right in today.
Most of us would rather wait fora prescription than give
ourselves what we already knowwe need.
Just think about this for amoment.
You're sick, you go to thedoctor, they write something
(01:39):
down, you hand it in and thenyou feel like you can take
action.
And we treat so much of ourlives the same way.
And here's a bit of a truthbomb Prescriptions feel safer
than self-trust.
And you might be askingyourself well, why do you say
that, cynthia?
(01:59):
And I'm saying that because ifsomeone tells us what to do, we
get to avoid responsibility.
We can say things like see, myboss told me wasn't me, they
told me to do it.
If it fails, it's on them.
I have heard this a hundredtimes, maybe a hundred thousand
(02:23):
times.
This a hundred times, maybe ahundred thousand times.
But if we act on what wealready know, suddenly it's on
us, and that accountabilityfeels terrifying.
And you know where this shows up.
Leadership, and just imagineI'm going to give you some
(02:46):
examples here.
So you know that your team isdrowning in meetings, but you
don't cut the meetings out untila consultant comes in and
recommends it.
Oh well, they said 50% of themeetings have to go.
Oh good, someone with a fancybinder told me, now.
It must be safe.
Another example is you know thatyour top performer is burned
out, but you wait until HR tellsyou to step in.
(03:08):
And this one goes somethinglike finally HR noticed Now I
don't have to trust what I wasseeing with my own eyes.
Know that you'reover-functioning doing the work
of three people, but you don'tdelegate until your boss insists
come on.
Now you have to develop yourpeople.
(03:28):
And then it might soundsomething like I guess it's not
selfish after all, because myboss said I should.
We pretend we don't know, but wedo.
We're not confused, we'reavoiding.
And we're not avoiding becausewe're weak.
(03:50):
We're avoiding because ourbrains are trying to keep us
safe from risk, rejection orshame.
But the truth is that kind ofsafety is fake.
It keeps us small, stuck andsilently in suffering.
And the real safety comes whenyou build self-trust within you
(04:12):
and take your own prescription.
Actually, taking theprescription is what builds the
trust within you, and I've seenthis with my clients too.
I've had one of my clients keptwaiting for their company to
send them to a leadershipprogram before they invested in
themselves.
They knew that they were stuck,but they told themselves when
(04:33):
the company thinks I'm ready,then I'll take the leap.
And in coaching they realizedthat they didn't need the
company's permission.
And when they invested theystopped waiting to feel like a
quote unquote real leader andthey actually started leading.
Another one of my clients wasexhausted from doing the work of
(04:53):
two roles.
They knew that they needed tosay something, but kept waiting
for their boss to notice.
The prescription that theythought they needed was their
boss saying you're right, youcan't do all of this.
And guess what happens?
Bosses never say that.
What coaching gave them insteadwas the courage to say this
(05:15):
isn't sustainable and to set theboundary themselves.
And that changed everything.
And so it's interesting justI've been observing this, as I
said to notice whereprescriptions sneak in, because
it's not just at work.
Prescriptions sneak into everycorner of our life.
At home it sounds like, well,if my partner agrees, then I'll
(05:37):
invest in myself.
And I used to do that one.
I'd be like, yeah, well, youknow, if he agrees that it's
okay for me to go take thiscourse.
And then I'm like what'shappening?
What is happening?
I am the subject matter experton me.
I know me more than anyone elseever could know me.
Another way that this shows upis in our heads I'll start when
(06:03):
I feel ready or when I feelconfident.
And another way that shows upin society is well, this only
counts if it has a certificate,it has a title, it has an
official approval or I get thisraise.
And I see this all the time.
With buying coaching, too,people tell themselves if my
company pays for it, then I'lldo it, or if my boss suggests it
(06:29):
, then I'll know that I'm readyfor coaching.
But waiting for someone else tosponsor your growth is just
another prescription.
Coaching works best when youchoose it for yourself, not when
you're sent to take it likemedicine.
And here's the thing thesearen't just thoughts, these are
self-fulfilling prophecies.
(06:50):
If you wait for your partner's,okay, they never see you choose
you, so they keep assuming thatyou won't.
If you wait to feel ready,readiness never comes.
Have you ever noticed?
It never comes.
It's like confidence.
It's like confidence.
I heard this quote from a personI'm going on a side note here,
(07:14):
a little bit of a rabbit hole,but I heard this saying from a
coach in Miami a couple of yearsago.
Confidence is like an iffybestie Whenever you really need
it, it doesn't show up.
And that's why conviction oryour values is a much better
flag to put in the ground tostand on, because confidence
(07:35):
never comes.
Confidence is built by doingthe thing that you're waiting to
feel ready or confident to do.
And another way that this showsup is like if you're waiting
for external stamps of approval,you will keep overlooking your
own lived wisdom, your own innerwisdom, your own inner guide,
(07:58):
inner compass, inner truth andthe prescription will show up
anytime that you already knowwhat you need, but you wait for
someone else to tell you thatit's okay.
So let me tell you a couple ofstories about my clients.
One particular client when theyfirst came to me, they were
(08:19):
convinced that they couldn't sayno.
On the outside, incredibly calm, capable, the person everyone
relied on, and inside, they wereexhausted.
Their inner script soundedsomething like this If I say no,
I'm going to let people down.
If I say no, they're going tothink that I'm not a team player
.
If I say no, I'll miss out.
(08:40):
If I say no, I'm going todisappoint someone.
So they say yes over and overyes to extra projects, yes to
late night emails, yes to beingthe one who quietly picked up
everyone else's slack.
And the more they say yes, themore people asked.
The more people asked, the moreresentful they felt.
(09:04):
And the more resentful theyfelt, the more guilty they
became, which just fueled moreyeses.
That is the self-fulfillingprophecy of people pleasing the
very thing that you're afraid of.
Disappointing people becomesinevitable, because eventually
you burn out or you snap.
(09:27):
Now here's what changedeverything for this client.
They worked through my power ofno workbook.
Inside, they uncovered thehidden beliefs that were keeping
them stuck and built a personalno script that they could use
in the moment so that when fearspiked, they had language ready.
We practiced small stepsInstead of an automatic yes,
(09:52):
they tried.
Let me think about that and getback to you.
Instead of silence andresentment, they tried.
I can't take that right now,but here's what I can do.
And little by little, theybuilt the muscle, the result.
Over time, they didn't loserespect.
They gained it.
They didn't lose opportunities.
(10:14):
They gained energy for the onesthat actually mattered to them,
and their team didn't collapsewithout them, like they thought
they would.
In fact, the team grew strongerbecause of the skill sets that
they were able to learn.
So if you're listening andthinking, that's me.
(10:35):
I can't say no.
Here's what I told this client,you already are saying no Every
time you say yes to somethingthat drains you.
The question is what do youwant your no to stand for?
Coming back to what is thething that you want to be in
your conviction about, and ifyou want to start practicing,
you can grab the Power of noworkbook for 22 bucks.
(10:58):
I'll put a link in the shownotes.
You will uncover the patternsthat make no hard for you and
you will create your own noscript, just like my client did.
So you can say no without guiltand protect your energy, your
time and your values.
And I'm going to be honest withyou.
I have been there too.
Saying no used to feelimpossible for me I think I've
(11:21):
said this on the podcast beforebut I had to read books about
how to say no because I actuallydidn't think it was even
possible.
I really did believe that itwas impossible, and I worried
that it meant that I woulddisappoint people or that I
would miss out or that I wouldlook ungrateful, which is
probably why I see it so clearlyin my clients now.
(11:43):
And when I first worked throughthe same exercises, I realized
that I was saying yes out offear, not out of alignment, and
having my own script was whatfinally gave me the courage to
protect my own energy withoutfeeling guilty.
Another client of mine keptwaiting for their boss to
determine their priorities, andI see this all the time Again.
(12:07):
It's not necessarily a problem,except for the fact that we
were coaching on it.
So they were constantlyjuggling 10 different projects.
But instead of clarifying orchoosing, their inner dialogue
sounded like this I'm going towait until my boss tells me
which one matters most.
They know better than I do Now.
(12:28):
On the surface, that lookedlike being a team player, but
underneath it meant that theywere always stuck in reaction
mode, never in leadership, andthe cost was huge.
They worked late nights, theystressed about dropping the ball
and they felt like, no matterhow hard they worked, they were
always behind.
So in coaching, we unpacked allof that and they realized that
(12:50):
their boss wasn't sitting therewith a perfect list of
priorities.
Their boss was waiting for themto show up with clarity.
So we practiced small shifts,asking here's what I think
matters most this week.
Do you agree?
Instead of waiting silently, wepractice proactively, choosing
(13:11):
what to finish and let go ofwhat wasn't urgent.
They practice trusting theirown sense of impact instead of
outsourcing it, and the shiftwas immediate.
They stopped looking likesomeone who needed to be managed
and started acting and behavinglike a leader.
Their boss didn't think howdare you decide?
(13:32):
Their boss thought.
Finally, thank you for showingout with clarity about our
priorities.
That's amazing work Well done.
And I'm laughing because youknow the takeaway to all of this
right, because this is thething waiting for the
prescription, whether it is aleadership program, whether it's
a boss's priority list, is whythe work of positive
(13:54):
intelligence matters so much,because your beautiful brain is
brilliant and also sneaky.
Don't make waves, you're notready, you're going to mess this
(14:18):
up.
That's not the truth.
That's your saboteurs,unsupervised toddlers with
scissors hijacking your brain,and positive intelligence
teaches you to spot them, topause and to shift into sage,
which is the wiser, calmer, moreinnovative part of you.
That says you already know.
(14:41):
Trust yourself, and thatchanges everything, because
here's the deeper cost Everytime we wait for permission, we
prove to ourselves that we can'tbe trusted.
That doubt feeds the cycle wewait longer, we shrink further
(15:04):
down, we hand over our authorityand then we complain that we
don't have any Hand on heart.
I've done this.
My clients have done this.
The ones who broke free werethe ones who finally took the
pill, the one called self-trust.
(15:24):
So let me say it plainlyPrescriptions aren't magic.
They're just someone else sayingout loud what you already knew
inside of you the safety youthink you're buying.
It's fake.
It's procrastination dressed upas caution.
So let me ask you, where areyou waiting for a prescription
(15:49):
right now?
And what would shift if youwrote your own and trusted
yourself enough to take it?
Maybe it's even with coachingitself.
I see this all the time waitingfor the company budget, the
boss's approval for the perfecttiming.
But the company budget, theboss's approval for the perfect
timing.
But the leaders who grow themost are the ones who don't wait
(16:09):
for the prescription.
They write their own, theydecide I am worth investing in
now, because here's the truth.
No one is coming.
No one's coming to rescue youwith a magic pad of paper.
And even if they did, you wouldstill have to swallow the pill
yourself.
And maybe today is the day thatyou stop waiting.
(16:32):
And if you're tired ofpracticing alone, that is why I
created Be the Light, becausewhat you really want isn't more
advice, you want relief, youwant clarity, you want space to
breathe, and inside of Be theLight you're going to find that.
You're going to find promptsthat will help you quiet the
inner critic and hear your ownvoice and celebrate the things
(16:54):
that you're doing well foryourself.
You're going to hearconversations that remind you
that you're not alone.
You're going to be part of that.
You're going to have tools freeones to get started and deeper,
paid ones if you're ready to gofurther.
Again, links will be in theshow notes, and you're going to
hear stories of leaders whostopped waiting for
prescriptions and startedleading with presence, purpose
(17:15):
and ease.
I want to say this again thereis no hay wall to begin.
There is no credit card, just asafe place to stop waiting and
to start choosing yourself.
Again, all the links will be inthe show notes and if you're
already inside of Be the Light,please come and say hello.
Tell me what you're learning,where you're getting stuck or
(17:38):
even just what's resonating.
I want to know how this work islanding for you and with that,
I want to say thank you forbeing here.
And let me say this moreclearly I've waited for
prescriptions too.
I've told myself that it wassafer to let someone else decide
(17:59):
.
Safer to wait for the nod, thetitle, the approval.
And when I catch myself in thatold pattern now, I pause and I
ask myself what am I avoiding?
Because I completely noticemyself.
Am I avoiding responsibility?
Am I avoiding disappointment?
Am I avoiding the risk oftrusting myself?
And every time that I've waitedI have made myself smaller.
(18:23):
But the moment I trust my ownwisdom, everything changes.
I start saying no.
When I mean no, I startchoosing what's aligned with my
values, instead of waiting forsomeone else to tell me that it
was okay.
I started to be the boss of meand I realized that the
permission slip that I waswaiting for had to come from me.
(18:45):
That's why I love I'm thinkingabout this song, unwritten.
I can't remember who writes itbut or sings it, but it's a
reminder that nothing is finaluntil you decide.
It is your life, yourleadership, your choices.
They are still being writtenand the pen belongs in your hand
(19:07):
, and that's the work, that'sthe shift, and that is possible
for you too.
So let me ask you again whatprescription are you waiting for
and what would shift if youstopped waiting and chose
yourself today?
And if you stopped waiting andchose yourself today, and if
you're listening from our Be theLight community, I would love
(19:28):
to hear from you.
Come say hello, tell me whatyou're noticing, what's been
sticking, where you're gettingstuck, because here's the thing
Awareness is powerful, but it'seasy, so easy to slip back into
old patterns.
When you're on your own andwhen you share it out loud, when
you let yourself be seen,something shifts and maybe
(19:52):
you've caught yourself waitingfor the prescription again, or
maybe you've tried a new noscript and it worked.
Either way, we want tocelebrate you, support you and
remind you that you don't haveto do this work alone.
That is the whole point of Bethe Light a space where we
practice together, where we falldown and we try again together
and remind each other of what'salready true.
You're wiser, braver and morecapable than the saboteurs in
(20:17):
your head would have you believe.
The permission slip that you'vebeen waiting for it's already
yours to write, and with that Iwill bid you adieu and see you
back here, at the same time, inthe same place, next week.
Have a great week.
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
(20:37):
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
(20:58):
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at
wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca, wherewe'll deepen our relationship
and you can claim your copy ofyour Inner Compass, a guide to
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true and, most
(21:21):
importantly, stay you.
Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back
to you.
I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters you
.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:32):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Unchartered and
Unfiltered a journey back to you.
I am Cynthia Jamieson, yourhost, and I'm so happy to be
(00:52):
here with you today, and I justwant to say, getting out of the
gate, I feel a little spicytoday.
I want to poke at somethingthat might sting a little in
today's episode, and it'ssomething that I have been
noticing everywhere, and I wantto use a metaphor because it is
(01:16):
something that we all recognize.
And so here's what I want toshare with you Just going to
dive right in today.
Here's what I want to sharewith you Just going to dive
right in today.
Most of us would rather wait fora prescription than give
ourselves what we already knowwe need.
Just think about this for amoment.
You're sick, you go to thedoctor, they write something
(01:39):
down, you hand it in and thenyou feel like you can take
action.
And we treat so much of ourlives the same way.
And here's a bit of a truthbomb Prescriptions feel safer
than self-trust.
And you might be askingyourself well, why do you say
that, cynthia?
(01:59):
And I'm saying that because ifsomeone tells us what to do, we
get to avoid responsibility.
We can say things like see, myboss told me wasn't me, they
told me to do it.
If it fails, it's on them.
I have heard this a hundredtimes, maybe a hundred thousand
(02:23):
times.
This a hundred times, maybe ahundred thousand times.
But if we act on what wealready know, suddenly it's on
us, and that accountabilityfeels terrifying.
And you know where this shows up.
Leadership, and just imagineI'm going to give you some
(02:46):
examples here.
So you know that your team isdrowning in meetings, but you
don't cut the meetings out untila consultant comes in and
recommends it.
Oh well, they said 50% of themeetings have to go.
Oh good, someone with a fancybinder told me, now.
It must be safe.
Another example is you know thatyour top performer is burned
out, but you wait until HR tellsyou to step in.
(03:08):
And this one goes somethinglike finally HR noticed Now I
don't have to trust what I wasseeing with my own eyes.
Know that you'reover-functioning doing the work
of three people, but you don'tdelegate until your boss insists
come on.
Now you have to develop yourpeople.
(03:28):
And then it might soundsomething like I guess it's not
selfish after all, because myboss said I should.
We pretend we don't know, but wedo.
We're not confused, we'reavoiding.
And we're not avoiding becausewe're weak.
(03:50):
We're avoiding because ourbrains are trying to keep us
safe from risk, rejection orshame.
But the truth is that kind ofsafety is fake.
It keeps us small, stuck andsilently in suffering.
And the real safety comes whenyou build self-trust within you
(04:12):
and take your own prescription.
Actually, taking theprescription is what builds the
trust within you, and I've seenthis with my clients too.
I've had one of my clients keptwaiting for their company to
send them to a leadershipprogram before they invested in
themselves.
They knew that they were stuck,but they told themselves when
(04:33):
the company thinks I'm ready,then I'll take the leap.
And in coaching they realizedthat they didn't need the
company's permission.
And when they invested theystopped waiting to feel like a
quote unquote real leader andthey actually started leading.
Another one of my clients wasexhausted from doing the work of
(04:53):
two roles.
They knew that they needed tosay something, but kept waiting
for their boss to notice.
The prescription that theythought they needed was their
boss saying you're right, youcan't do all of this.
And guess what happens?
Bosses never say that.
What coaching gave them insteadwas the courage to say this
(05:15):
isn't sustainable and to set theboundary themselves.
And that changed everything.
And so it's interesting justI've been observing this, as I
said to notice whereprescriptions sneak in, because
it's not just at work.
Prescriptions sneak into everycorner of our life.
At home it sounds like, well,if my partner agrees, then I'll
(05:37):
invest in myself.
And I used to do that one.
I'd be like, yeah, well, youknow, if he agrees that it's
okay for me to go take thiscourse.
And then I'm like what'shappening?
What is happening?
I am the subject matter experton me.
I know me more than anyone elseever could know me.
Another way that this shows upis in our heads I'll start when
(06:03):
I feel ready or when I feelconfident.
And another way that shows upin society is well, this only
counts if it has a certificate,it has a title, it has an
official approval or I get thisraise.
And I see this all the time.
With buying coaching, too,people tell themselves if my
company pays for it, then I'lldo it, or if my boss suggests it
(06:29):
, then I'll know that I'm readyfor coaching.
But waiting for someone else tosponsor your growth is just
another prescription.
Coaching works best when youchoose it for yourself, not when
you're sent to take it likemedicine.
And here's the thing thesearen't just thoughts, these are
self-fulfilling prophecies.
(06:50):
If you wait for your partner's,okay, they never see you choose
you, so they keep assuming thatyou won't.
If you wait to feel ready,readiness never comes.
Have you ever noticed?
It never comes.
It's like confidence.
It's like confidence.
I heard this quote from a personI'm going on a side note here,
(07:14):
a little bit of a rabbit hole,but I heard this saying from a
coach in Miami a couple of yearsago.
Confidence is like an iffybestie Whenever you really need
it, it doesn't show up.
And that's why conviction oryour values is a much better
flag to put in the ground tostand on, because confidence
(07:35):
never comes.
Confidence is built by doingthe thing that you're waiting to
feel ready or confident to do.
And another way that this showsup is like if you're waiting
for external stamps of approval,you will keep overlooking your
own lived wisdom, your own innerwisdom, your own inner guide,
(07:58):
inner compass, inner truth andthe prescription will show up
anytime that you already knowwhat you need, but you wait for
someone else to tell you thatit's okay.
So let me tell you a couple ofstories about my clients.
One particular client when theyfirst came to me, they were
(08:19):
convinced that they couldn't sayno.
On the outside, incredibly calm, capable, the person everyone
relied on, and inside, they wereexhausted.
Their inner script soundedsomething like this If I say no,
I'm going to let people down.
If I say no, they're going tothink that I'm not a team player
.
If I say no, I'll miss out.
(08:40):
If I say no, I'm going todisappoint someone.
So they say yes over and overyes to extra projects, yes to
late night emails, yes to beingthe one who quietly picked up
everyone else's slack.
And the more they say yes, themore people asked.
The more people asked, the moreresentful they felt.
(09:04):
And the more resentful theyfelt, the more guilty they
became, which just fueled moreyeses.
That is the self-fulfillingprophecy of people pleasing the
very thing that you're afraid of.
Disappointing people becomesinevitable, because eventually
you burn out or you snap.
(09:27):
Now here's what changedeverything for this client.
They worked through my power ofno workbook.
Inside, they uncovered thehidden beliefs that were keeping
them stuck and built a personalno script that they could use
in the moment so that when fearspiked, they had language ready.
We practiced small stepsInstead of an automatic yes,
(09:52):
they tried.
Let me think about that and getback to you.
Instead of silence andresentment, they tried.
I can't take that right now,but here's what I can do.
And little by little, theybuilt the muscle, the result.
Over time, they didn't loserespect.
They gained it.
They didn't lose opportunities.
(10:14):
They gained energy for the onesthat actually mattered to them,
and their team didn't collapsewithout them, like they thought
they would.
In fact, the team grew strongerbecause of the skill sets that
they were able to learn.
So if you're listening andthinking, that's me.
(10:35):
I can't say no.
Here's what I told this client,you already are saying no Every
time you say yes to somethingthat drains you.
The question is what do youwant your no to stand for?
Coming back to what is thething that you want to be in
your conviction about, and ifyou want to start practicing,
you can grab the Power of noworkbook for 22 bucks.
(10:58):
I'll put a link in the shownotes.
You will uncover the patternsthat make no hard for you and
you will create your own noscript, just like my client did.
So you can say no without guiltand protect your energy, your
time and your values.
And I'm going to be honest withyou.
I have been there too.
Saying no used to feelimpossible for me I think I've
(11:21):
said this on the podcast beforebut I had to read books about
how to say no because I actuallydidn't think it was even
possible.
I really did believe that itwas impossible, and I worried
that it meant that I woulddisappoint people or that I
would miss out or that I wouldlook ungrateful, which is
probably why I see it so clearlyin my clients now.
(11:43):
And when I first worked throughthe same exercises, I realized
that I was saying yes out offear, not out of alignment, and
having my own script was whatfinally gave me the courage to
protect my own energy withoutfeeling guilty.
Another client of mine keptwaiting for their boss to
determine their priorities, andI see this all the time Again.
(12:07):
It's not necessarily a problem,except for the fact that we
were coaching on it.
So they were constantlyjuggling 10 different projects.
But instead of clarifying orchoosing, their inner dialogue
sounded like this I'm going towait until my boss tells me
which one matters most.
They know better than I do Now.
(12:28):
On the surface, that lookedlike being a team player, but
underneath it meant that theywere always stuck in reaction
mode, never in leadership, andthe cost was huge.
They worked late nights, theystressed about dropping the ball
and they felt like, no matterhow hard they worked, they were
always behind.
So in coaching, we unpacked allof that and they realized that
(12:50):
their boss wasn't sitting therewith a perfect list of
priorities.
Their boss was waiting for themto show up with clarity.
So we practiced small shifts,asking here's what I think
matters most this week.
Do you agree?
Instead of waiting silently, wepractice proactively, choosing
(13:11):
what to finish and let go ofwhat wasn't urgent.
They practice trusting theirown sense of impact instead of
outsourcing it, and the shiftwas immediate.
They stopped looking likesomeone who needed to be managed
and started acting and behavinglike a leader.
Their boss didn't think howdare you decide?
(13:32):
Their boss thought.
Finally, thank you for showingout with clarity about our
priorities.
That's amazing work Well done.
And I'm laughing because youknow the takeaway to all of this
right, because this is thething waiting for the
prescription, whether it is aleadership program, whether it's
a boss's priority list, is whythe work of positive
(13:54):
intelligence matters so much,because your beautiful brain is
brilliant and also sneaky.
Don't make waves, you're notready, you're going to mess this
(14:18):
up.
That's not the truth.
That's your saboteurs,unsupervised toddlers with
scissors hijacking your brain,and positive intelligence
teaches you to spot them, topause and to shift into sage,
which is the wiser, calmer, moreinnovative part of you.
That says you already know.
(14:41):
Trust yourself, and thatchanges everything, because
here's the deeper cost Everytime we wait for permission, we
prove to ourselves that we can'tbe trusted.
That doubt feeds the cycle wewait longer, we shrink further
(15:04):
down, we hand over our authorityand then we complain that we
don't have any Hand on heart.
I've done this.
My clients have done this.
The ones who broke free werethe ones who finally took the
pill, the one called self-trust.
(15:24):
So let me say it plainlyPrescriptions aren't magic.
They're just someone else sayingout loud what you already knew
inside of you the safety youthink you're buying.
It's fake.
It's procrastination dressed upas caution.
So let me ask you, where areyou waiting for a prescription
(15:49):
right now?
And what would shift if youwrote your own and trusted
yourself enough to take it?
Maybe it's even with coachingitself.
I see this all the time waitingfor the company budget, the
boss's approval for the perfecttiming.
But the company budget, theboss's approval for the perfect
timing.
But the leaders who grow themost are the ones who don't wait
(16:09):
for the prescription.
They write their own, theydecide I am worth investing in
now, because here's the truth.
No one is coming.
No one's coming to rescue youwith a magic pad of paper.
And even if they did, you wouldstill have to swallow the pill
yourself.
And maybe today is the day thatyou stop waiting.
(16:32):
And if you're tired ofpracticing alone, that is why I
created Be the Light, becausewhat you really want isn't more
advice, you want relief, youwant clarity, you want space to
breathe, and inside of Be theLight you're going to find that.
You're going to find promptsthat will help you quiet the
inner critic and hear your ownvoice and celebrate the things
(16:54):
that you're doing well foryourself.
You're going to hearconversations that remind you
that you're not alone.
You're going to be part of that.
You're going to have tools freeones to get started and deeper,
paid ones if you're ready to gofurther.
Again, links will be in theshow notes, and you're going to
hear stories of leaders whostopped waiting for
prescriptions and startedleading with presence, purpose
(17:15):
and ease.
I want to say this again thereis no hay wall to begin.
There is no credit card, just asafe place to stop waiting and
to start choosing yourself.
Again, all the links will be inthe show notes and if you're
already inside of Be the Light,please come and say hello.
Tell me what you're learning,where you're getting stuck or
(17:38):
even just what's resonating.
I want to know how this work islanding for you and with that,
I want to say thank you forbeing here.
And let me say this moreclearly I've waited for
prescriptions too.
I've told myself that it wassafer to let someone else decide
(17:59):
.
Safer to wait for the nod, thetitle, the approval.
And when I catch myself in thatold pattern now, I pause and I
ask myself what am I avoiding?
Because I completely noticemyself.
Am I avoiding responsibility?
Am I avoiding disappointment?
Am I avoiding the risk oftrusting myself?
And every time that I've waitedI have made myself smaller.
(18:23):
But the moment I trust my ownwisdom, everything changes.
I start saying no.
When I mean no, I startchoosing what's aligned with my
values, instead of waiting forsomeone else to tell me that it
was okay.
I started to be the boss of meand I realized that the
permission slip that I waswaiting for had to come from me.
(18:45):
That's why I love I'm thinkingabout this song, unwritten.
I can't remember who writes itbut or sings it, but it's a
reminder that nothing is finaluntil you decide.
It is your life, yourleadership, your choices.
They are still being writtenand the pen belongs in your hand
(19:07):
, and that's the work, that'sthe shift, and that is possible
for you too.
So let me ask you again whatprescription are you waiting for
and what would shift if youstopped waiting and chose
yourself today?
And if you stopped waiting andchose yourself today, and if
you're listening from our Be theLight community, I would love
(19:28):
to hear from you.
Come say hello, tell me whatyou're noticing, what's been
sticking, where you're gettingstuck, because here's the thing
Awareness is powerful, but it'seasy, so easy to slip back into
old patterns.
When you're on your own andwhen you share it out loud, when
you let yourself be seen,something shifts and maybe
(19:52):
you've caught yourself waitingfor the prescription again, or
maybe you've tried a new noscript and it worked.
Either way, we want tocelebrate you, support you and
remind you that you don't haveto do this work alone.
That is the whole point of Bethe Light a space where we
practice together, where we falldown and we try again together
and remind each other of what'salready true.
You're wiser, braver and morecapable than the saboteurs in
(20:17):
your head would have you believe.
The permission slip that you'vebeen waiting for it's already
yours to write, and with that Iwill bid you adieu and see you
back here, at the same time, inthe same place, next week.
Have a great week.
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
(20:37):
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
(20:58):
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at
wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca, wherewe'll deepen our relationship
and you can claim your copy ofyour Inner Compass, a guide to
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true and, most
(21:21):
importantly, stay you.
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