September 30, 2025 • 16 mins
We live in a culture that worships self-awareness — as if naming the problem should magically fix it. But here’s the truth: awareness alone doesn’t change a thing.
In this episode, I share why awareness is often just self-criticism dressed up as insight, and what actually creates transformation: practice. You’ll hear stories from my own life (and my Saturday Park Run) as well as from clients who are learning to shift from proving themselves to practicing self-appreciation.
Together, we’ll explore a simple four-step framework — Catch, Name, Question, Choose — and why slipping back into old habits isn’t failure, it’s part of the path.
✨ You’ll walk away with:
- A spiky reframe on why “knowing better” won’t set you free.
- A practice you can use today to shift from old mirrors to new ones.
- Permission to see progress as returning, not perfection.
If you’re tired of knowing better but not doing better, this conversation is for you this episode is your invitation to stop beating yourself up and start practicing differently. Join me inside Be the Light, or let’s walk together in one-on-one coaching here.
Because one return at a time, one new mirror at a time, that’s how everything changes.
With love & light,
Cynthia 🧡
Please rate and review with your honest opinion. Subscribe and share with your colleagues especially if you have worked with me and found value in the work we’ve done together.
Connect with me in my favourite places, LinkedIn and Instagram and my website is: https://www.cynthiajamiesoncoach.ca/
Make it a great week!
Cynthia Jamieson 🧡🌱
Leadership coach for high-integrity leaders who want to thrive without proving or burning out | Ex-HR Exec | ICF PCC Coach | Podcast Host | Intuitive Intelligence® Method Guide
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cynthia (00:05):
Welcome to Uncharted and Unfiltered, The Journey Back
to You.
I am Cynthia Jameson, yourhost, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters.
You.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations, and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:29):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown, and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Uncharted and
Unfiltered, a journey back toyou.
(00:50):
I am Cynthia Jameson, yourhost, welcome, welcome.
And I am actually recordingthis one while sitting outside,
enjoying the crisp fall race.
Now, my sister-in-law was herefor the weekend, and it was one
of those times of slowing downgood food, good conversation,
and soaking up the change of theseason.
(01:13):
There's something about fallair that makes me more
reflective than I am by nature,I think.
And it reminds me of how oftenwe rush through life, always
onto the next thing, whensometimes the real medicine is
pausing long enough to noticewhere you are, who you're with,
(01:35):
and the goodness of this moment,the moment that you're in.
And maybe that's why today'stopic feels especially alive for
me, because awareness, justknowing something, isn't the
same as living it.
And that's where I want to gowith you today.
And let me begin.
Awareness is overrated.
(01:55):
There, I said it.
Now I know that might soundstrange coming from a coach.
We live in a culture thatworships self-awareness, as if
the more we know, the more willautomatically change.
But here's the truth (02:08):
awareness alone doesn't change a thing.
If it did, you'd all be restingwhen you were tired.
You'd already be where you wantto be in your life.
You would stop people pleasing,you would stop being free from
the overwork and theoverfunctioning and the
self-criticism.
(02:29):
But you're not.
And neither am I.
And it is not because you arebroken.
It is because awareness withoutpractice is like buying a brand
new pair of running shoes andnever taking them out of the
box.
Now I'm using this metaphorbecause most of you know that
(02:50):
I'm training for a half marathonand I will be running that next
Sunday, and I'm really lookingforward to it.
And the metaphor just makes alot of sense.
And so let's just name the mythhere.
We are told that if we see theproblem, that we will be able to
fix it.
If we can name our pattern, wewill magically be able to stop
(03:13):
doing the pattern.
But that's not how it works.
Now I will use myself as anexample.
I have known for years that myparents mirrored achievement
first.
And this is not a diss againstthem.
This is not about judgment atall.
I choose to believe parents dothe best they could, and they
had parents as well, and we'reall just doing the best we can.
(03:35):
And I know that from my ownexperience, what I learned was
there was work above rest.
Prove your worth by producingmore, and I can be fully aware
of that, which I am, and yetstill catch myself saying yes to
one more project, one morething, one more email, one more
(03:59):
yes when I really mean no whenI'm already exhausted.
So awareness alone doesn'tinterrupt the pattern.
Right?
It doesn't interrupt the habit.
In fact, sometimes it justfuels more self-judgment.
And I hear my clients say thisall the time: like, I know
(04:21):
better.
Why am I still doing this?
And when we engage in that, weare using that awareness against
ourselves.
So awareness without practiceisn't growth.
It is just self-criticismdressed up as insight.
It's another stick for us tobeat ourselves with, which is
(04:41):
just super not not helpful atall.
And so if awareness isn'tenough, what is?
It's practice.
Small, repeated, intentionalpractice.
And there's a framework thatI've been teaching my clients,
and it's the same one that I usein my own life, and it's very
(05:04):
much aligned with the saboteurwork, which is really around
like let's catch it, right?
Let's just notice.
Notice the old voice when itshows up.
If it's telling you in thebackground, like I'm not enough,
I need to do more.
This is not perfect.
Just catch it.
Catch it.
And then name it.
Naming it allows you to call itout.
(05:25):
Like that is that's the oldpart of me talking.
That is the hyperachiever partof me talking.
That is an old mirror talkingto me.
And then question it.
And you've heard me say this,unless you're new to the
episode, you would have heard mesay this.
I question everything becauseeven if it's true, it may not be
(05:47):
helpful to right.
But question it, ask yourselflike, is this true?
And even if it is, do I want tokeep believing this?
And then when you question it,you can question it for insight
and just notice how does it makeyou feel if it's true and if
(06:07):
you want to keep believing it.
And then think about, okay, ifI do have a choice here, what do
I want to choose to do?
Do I want to step into my sage?
Do I want to ask myself likewhat would compassion say right
now?
How would I treat a friendright now?
If I treated myself likesomeone I love right now, what
(06:29):
would I do?
What would I say?
And that's where the shiftbegins.
Not when you see the mirror,but when you practice painting
on a new one.
And I just want to pause for amoment because my clients see
this too.
I had a client this morning whotold me that she was telling me
just sharing her wins andwhat's working for her just in
(06:51):
celebration, because that isincredibly important work that
we do when we work together.
And the reason why is becausewe're building evidence for your
beautiful brain on all of thethings that you are changing.
Because your brain will alwaystell you you're not doing
enough, you're not like there'salways more, because again, it's
trying to keep you safe.
So when I was in myconversation with her this
(07:13):
morning, we were coaching, shewas saying, like, this is not
about changing the situation,it's about rethinking the same
situation.
In her the way that shedescribed it to me is like the
circumstances, there will alwaysbe work.
I'm inside the machine, themachine is going to keep
producing.
There is always that that willhappen.
(07:34):
However, when I stop, when Inotice and I choose to shift my
perspective, I actually feellighter.
It doesn't flip 180 degrees allat once, but little by little,
practice by practice, I canchange how I show up.
(07:55):
Now for this client, when wefirst started working together,
they believed to the fiber oftheir being that they had to
prove themselves in everything.
That story ran in theirsubconscious and now they catch
it.
They're able to rein it in.
And because of that, they'vebeen able to create so much more
(08:16):
room, so much moreexpansiveness in their own mind
for self-kindness, for openness,for compassion.
And because of that, opennessand collaboration and other
different opportunities.
And I think the most profoundshift for this client is that
(08:38):
they have realized how rare itis that they pause to appreciate
themselves, which is differentthan a gratitude, like having
gratitude for yourself.
Appreciation is somethingdifferent.
They're noticing that they arealways chasing the next thing,
always on to the next, which isthe way that the saboteurs
(09:03):
inside of our minds, thosedifferent parts of us that are
wanting to keep us safe, that'sthe lie, right?
Like if I keep on achieving,then I'll be able to feel like
I'm successful.
Versus actually, there'snothing stopping you from
feeling successful now, exceptfor the way that you might be
(09:24):
looking at it.
Right.
And my client, once they namedthis new practice for
themselves, which is I want togive myself five minutes a day
to look around to appreciate whoI am and what I've already
built in my life.
(09:45):
Now that did not come fromawareness alone.
That came from practice, thatcame from integration, that came
from doing the inner work ofnoticing what their brain was
saying and intentionallychoosing to challenge that, to
(10:08):
question that, to name that, andto choose that again.
Now I feel like this isrelevant, so I'm gonna share
with it, share with with you.
I have in as a part of ourliving here, we have started, my
husband and I, um, we attend aweekly park run.
(10:29):
This is put put on by parkrun.
It's national global, actually.
Um, it's just go Google it andit'll tell you all the things.
I'll put a link in the shownotes.
But the idea of the park run isthat you show up wherever they
have a park run, it's all um ledby volunteers, and you show up
and everyone runs or walks 5K.
(10:50):
Now I say this because we dothis every Saturday, and that's
the time it's every Saturday,nine o'clock period across the
globe.
I show up at the start linewith my running pals, my
friends.
And here's the thing (11:03):
knowing the route doesn't make me
stronger.
Being aware of the distancedoesn't change my fitness.
The only thing that buildsstrength and resilience is
putting one foot in the other,practicing rep by rep, step by
step, run by run, kilometer bykilometer.
(11:24):
And some weeks I'm fast, someweeks I'm dragging, some weeks I
feel like quitting.
But each and every time Ireturn, my body remembers a
little bit more.
And that's how the changehappens.
Not from knowing the course,but from practicing it.
And it's the same with ourinternal dialogue, it's the same
(11:47):
with our internal mirrors.
We can be fully aware of ourown our own and old patterns,
but until we practice choosingdifferently, nothing shifts.
Awareness is the map, practiceis the run.
And here's the thing thatnobody likes to talk about.
Practice is messy.
(12:08):
You will slip, you will forget,you will fall back into an old
habit.
And that's not failure.
That's the path.
Here's another example.
Think about strength training.
One rep doesn't make youstrong.
It's the repetition, it's the,you know, it's every time you
(12:28):
lift the weight, it's every timeyou push up, it's every time
that you do it, that's whatbuilds the muscle, right?
It's slip, catch, return.
All the time.
And so if you hear yourselfsaying what you will, oh, I'm
doing it again, I'll neverchange.
Which is what I hear when I'msitting at my desk when I know
(12:51):
that it's too late.
And I want you to pause andreframe because this isn't
failure, this is practice.
Every time I notice, I'malready rewiring.
Progress is returning, notperfection.
This is, you know, I one of thethings that I say to myself
often often is like, thank you,brain, for letting me know that
(13:14):
I ran down this little rabbithole here, and I'm going to make
a different choice now.
I'm going to pack everything upand I'm going to be done.
And I'm not going to beatmyself up for the choice that I
made.
Because the truth is, changedoes not look like a straight
line.
It looks like circles.
Coming back again and again,and each time with a little more
(13:38):
awareness, a little morecompassion, and a little more
strength.
And so here's your challengethis week if you choose to
accept it.
Don't just notice your oldmirrors, your old thoughts.
Practice interrupting it andinterrupting them.
Catch, name, question, chooseagain and again and again.
(14:01):
Right?
So when you forget, because youwill, let's anticipate that.
Come back.
That return is the work.
That return is what changeseverything.
That return is the rewiring sothat your brain starts to create
a new path, a new defaultsystem, because over time this
(14:25):
gets easier.
It gets easier.
When you're studying it for thefirst time, it can feel like
you're actually going to thephysical gym, but it does get
easier.
And I just want to say thatwhatever story you were born
into, whatever story that wasgiven to you, whatever story,
(14:45):
whether that be from yourparents, from society, from your
boss, from your organization,none of that is your fault.
However, by rewriting it, bytaking the pen and reauthoring
your story, that is that isthat's the shift, that's the
gift, that's your practice,that's your power.
(15:08):
And if you are tired of knowingbetter but not doing better,
that's exactly what we practiceinside of Be the Light.
So if you are ready for morepersonal personalized guidance,
more one-on-one coaching, wherewe walk that path closely
together, the links are in theshow notes.
And remember, awareness is astart, but it's not the finish
(15:30):
line.
Knowing better doesn't changeanything.
Practicing differently changeseverything.
So that is it, my friends.
With love and light, I will seeyou back here next time.
Same time, same place.
Make it a fabulous.
(15:51):
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead, and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
(16:12):
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at www.cynthia
JamesonCoach.ca, where we'lldeepen our relationship and you
can claim your copy of yourinner compass, a guide to
(16:33):
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true, and most
importantly, stay.
Welcome to Uncharted and Unfiltered, The Journey Back
to You.
I am Cynthia Jameson, yourhost, and this is where we break
free from the noise and divedeep into what truly matters.
You.
If you're tired of the shoulds,the expectations, and the
pressures to fit into a moldthat doesn't serve you, you're
in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about easyanswers or sugar-coated advice.
(00:29):
This is your invitation toreclaim your path, embrace the
unknown, and become the bold,unapologetic version of yourself
that's been waiting to show up.
It's time to get unfiltered.
Let's get started.
Hello, hello, friends, andwelcome back to Uncharted and
Unfiltered, a journey back toyou.
(00:50):
I am Cynthia Jameson, yourhost, welcome, welcome.
And I am actually recordingthis one while sitting outside,
enjoying the crisp fall race.
Now, my sister-in-law was herefor the weekend, and it was one
of those times of slowing downgood food, good conversation,
and soaking up the change of theseason.
(01:13):
There's something about fallair that makes me more
reflective than I am by nature,I think.
And it reminds me of how oftenwe rush through life, always
onto the next thing, whensometimes the real medicine is
pausing long enough to noticewhere you are, who you're with,
(01:35):
and the goodness of this moment,the moment that you're in.
And maybe that's why today'stopic feels especially alive for
me, because awareness, justknowing something, isn't the
same as living it.
And that's where I want to gowith you today.
And let me begin.
Awareness is overrated.
(01:55):
There, I said it.
Now I know that might soundstrange coming from a coach.
We live in a culture thatworships self-awareness, as if
the more we know, the more willautomatically change.
But here's the truth (02:08):
awareness alone doesn't change a thing.
If it did, you'd all be restingwhen you were tired.
You'd already be where you wantto be in your life.
You would stop people pleasing,you would stop being free from
the overwork and theoverfunctioning and the
self-criticism.
(02:29):
But you're not.
And neither am I.
And it is not because you arebroken.
It is because awareness withoutpractice is like buying a brand
new pair of running shoes andnever taking them out of the
box.
Now I'm using this metaphorbecause most of you know that
(02:50):
I'm training for a half marathonand I will be running that next
Sunday, and I'm really lookingforward to it.
And the metaphor just makes alot of sense.
And so let's just name the mythhere.
We are told that if we see theproblem, that we will be able to
fix it.
If we can name our pattern, wewill magically be able to stop
(03:13):
doing the pattern.
But that's not how it works.
Now I will use myself as anexample.
I have known for years that myparents mirrored achievement
first.
And this is not a diss againstthem.
This is not about judgment atall.
I choose to believe parents dothe best they could, and they
had parents as well, and we'reall just doing the best we can.
(03:35):
And I know that from my ownexperience, what I learned was
there was work above rest.
Prove your worth by producingmore, and I can be fully aware
of that, which I am, and yetstill catch myself saying yes to
one more project, one morething, one more email, one more
(03:59):
yes when I really mean no whenI'm already exhausted.
So awareness alone doesn'tinterrupt the pattern.
Right?
It doesn't interrupt the habit.
In fact, sometimes it justfuels more self-judgment.
And I hear my clients say thisall the time: like, I know
(04:21):
better.
Why am I still doing this?
And when we engage in that, weare using that awareness against
ourselves.
So awareness without practiceisn't growth.
It is just self-criticismdressed up as insight.
It's another stick for us tobeat ourselves with, which is
(04:41):
just super not not helpful atall.
And so if awareness isn'tenough, what is?
It's practice.
Small, repeated, intentionalpractice.
And there's a framework thatI've been teaching my clients,
and it's the same one that I usein my own life, and it's very
(05:04):
much aligned with the saboteurwork, which is really around
like let's catch it, right?
Let's just notice.
Notice the old voice when itshows up.
If it's telling you in thebackground, like I'm not enough,
I need to do more.
This is not perfect.
Just catch it.
Catch it.
And then name it.
Naming it allows you to call itout.
(05:25):
Like that is that's the oldpart of me talking.
That is the hyperachiever partof me talking.
That is an old mirror talkingto me.
And then question it.
And you've heard me say this,unless you're new to the
episode, you would have heard mesay this.
I question everything becauseeven if it's true, it may not be
(05:47):
helpful to right.
But question it, ask yourselflike, is this true?
And even if it is, do I want tokeep believing this?
And then when you question it,you can question it for insight
and just notice how does it makeyou feel if it's true and if
(06:07):
you want to keep believing it.
And then think about, okay, ifI do have a choice here, what do
I want to choose to do?
Do I want to step into my sage?
Do I want to ask myself likewhat would compassion say right
now?
How would I treat a friendright now?
If I treated myself likesomeone I love right now, what
(06:29):
would I do?
What would I say?
And that's where the shiftbegins.
Not when you see the mirror,but when you practice painting
on a new one.
And I just want to pause for amoment because my clients see
this too.
I had a client this morning whotold me that she was telling me
just sharing her wins andwhat's working for her just in
(06:51):
celebration, because that isincredibly important work that
we do when we work together.
And the reason why is becausewe're building evidence for your
beautiful brain on all of thethings that you are changing.
Because your brain will alwaystell you you're not doing
enough, you're not like there'salways more, because again, it's
trying to keep you safe.
So when I was in myconversation with her this
(07:13):
morning, we were coaching, shewas saying, like, this is not
about changing the situation,it's about rethinking the same
situation.
In her the way that shedescribed it to me is like the
circumstances, there will alwaysbe work.
I'm inside the machine, themachine is going to keep
producing.
There is always that that willhappen.
(07:34):
However, when I stop, when Inotice and I choose to shift my
perspective, I actually feellighter.
It doesn't flip 180 degrees allat once, but little by little,
practice by practice, I canchange how I show up.
(07:55):
Now for this client, when wefirst started working together,
they believed to the fiber oftheir being that they had to
prove themselves in everything.
That story ran in theirsubconscious and now they catch
it.
They're able to rein it in.
And because of that, they'vebeen able to create so much more
(08:16):
room, so much moreexpansiveness in their own mind
for self-kindness, for openness,for compassion.
And because of that, opennessand collaboration and other
different opportunities.
And I think the most profoundshift for this client is that
(08:38):
they have realized how rare itis that they pause to appreciate
themselves, which is differentthan a gratitude, like having
gratitude for yourself.
Appreciation is somethingdifferent.
They're noticing that they arealways chasing the next thing,
always on to the next, which isthe way that the saboteurs
(09:03):
inside of our minds, thosedifferent parts of us that are
wanting to keep us safe, that'sthe lie, right?
Like if I keep on achieving,then I'll be able to feel like
I'm successful.
Versus actually, there'snothing stopping you from
feeling successful now, exceptfor the way that you might be
(09:24):
looking at it.
Right.
And my client, once they namedthis new practice for
themselves, which is I want togive myself five minutes a day
to look around to appreciate whoI am and what I've already
built in my life.
(09:45):
Now that did not come fromawareness alone.
That came from practice, thatcame from integration, that came
from doing the inner work ofnoticing what their brain was
saying and intentionallychoosing to challenge that, to
(10:08):
question that, to name that, andto choose that again.
Now I feel like this isrelevant, so I'm gonna share
with it, share with with you.
I have in as a part of ourliving here, we have started, my
husband and I, um, we attend aweekly park run.
(10:29):
This is put put on by parkrun.
It's national global, actually.
Um, it's just go Google it andit'll tell you all the things.
I'll put a link in the shownotes.
But the idea of the park run isthat you show up wherever they
have a park run, it's all um ledby volunteers, and you show up
and everyone runs or walks 5K.
(10:50):
Now I say this because we dothis every Saturday, and that's
the time it's every Saturday,nine o'clock period across the
globe.
I show up at the start linewith my running pals, my
friends.
And here's the thing (11:03):
knowing the route doesn't make me
stronger.
Being aware of the distancedoesn't change my fitness.
The only thing that buildsstrength and resilience is
putting one foot in the other,practicing rep by rep, step by
step, run by run, kilometer bykilometer.
(11:24):
And some weeks I'm fast, someweeks I'm dragging, some weeks I
feel like quitting.
But each and every time Ireturn, my body remembers a
little bit more.
And that's how the changehappens.
Not from knowing the course,but from practicing it.
And it's the same with ourinternal dialogue, it's the same
(11:47):
with our internal mirrors.
We can be fully aware of ourown our own and old patterns,
but until we practice choosingdifferently, nothing shifts.
Awareness is the map, practiceis the run.
And here's the thing thatnobody likes to talk about.
Practice is messy.
(12:08):
You will slip, you will forget,you will fall back into an old
habit.
And that's not failure.
That's the path.
Here's another example.
Think about strength training.
One rep doesn't make youstrong.
It's the repetition, it's the,you know, it's every time you
(12:28):
lift the weight, it's every timeyou push up, it's every time
that you do it, that's whatbuilds the muscle, right?
It's slip, catch, return.
All the time.
And so if you hear yourselfsaying what you will, oh, I'm
doing it again, I'll neverchange.
Which is what I hear when I'msitting at my desk when I know
(12:51):
that it's too late.
And I want you to pause andreframe because this isn't
failure, this is practice.
Every time I notice, I'malready rewiring.
Progress is returning, notperfection.
This is, you know, I one of thethings that I say to myself
often often is like, thank you,brain, for letting me know that
(13:14):
I ran down this little rabbithole here, and I'm going to make
a different choice now.
I'm going to pack everything upand I'm going to be done.
And I'm not going to beatmyself up for the choice that I
made.
Because the truth is, changedoes not look like a straight
line.
It looks like circles.
Coming back again and again,and each time with a little more
(13:38):
awareness, a little morecompassion, and a little more
strength.
And so here's your challengethis week if you choose to
accept it.
Don't just notice your oldmirrors, your old thoughts.
Practice interrupting it andinterrupting them.
Catch, name, question, chooseagain and again and again.
(14:01):
Right?
So when you forget, because youwill, let's anticipate that.
Come back.
That return is the work.
That return is what changeseverything.
That return is the rewiring sothat your brain starts to create
a new path, a new defaultsystem, because over time this
(14:25):
gets easier.
It gets easier.
When you're studying it for thefirst time, it can feel like
you're actually going to thephysical gym, but it does get
easier.
And I just want to say thatwhatever story you were born
into, whatever story that wasgiven to you, whatever story,
(14:45):
whether that be from yourparents, from society, from your
boss, from your organization,none of that is your fault.
However, by rewriting it, bytaking the pen and reauthoring
your story, that is that isthat's the shift, that's the
gift, that's your practice,that's your power.
(15:08):
And if you are tired of knowingbetter but not doing better,
that's exactly what we practiceinside of Be the Light.
So if you are ready for morepersonal personalized guidance,
more one-on-one coaching, wherewe walk that path closely
together, the links are in theshow notes.
And remember, awareness is astart, but it's not the finish
(15:30):
line.
Knowing better doesn't changeanything.
Practicing differently changeseverything.
So that is it, my friends.
With love and light, I will seeyou back here next time.
Same time, same place.
Make it a fabulous.
(15:51):
I hope that you're walking awayfeeling more aligned with your
true self, more confident in thechoices ahead, and ready to
leave the safe path behind,knowing you've got everything
you need within.
Remember, the journey to youisn't about finding one perfect
direction.
It's about trusting yourselfenough to explore all of it.
(16:12):
If you're ready to dive deeper,join me for the next episode
and don't forget to subscribe sothat you never miss the next
step on your path.
I invite you to join my mailinglist at www.cynthia
JamesonCoach.ca, where we'lldeepen our relationship and you
can claim your copy of yourinner compass, a guide to
(16:33):
charting your course toauthenticity.
Until next time, stayunfiltered, stay true, and most
importantly, stay.
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