October 10, 2024 • 27 mins
This week, Kevin shares a powerful message delivered at a men's gathering, focusing on the concept of "always rowing upstream" – the first of three habits that make up the trinity of uncommon freedom. Drawing from his book, "The Seven Disciplines of Uncommon Freedom," Kevin explores:
- The "Wheel of Life" and the importance of balance in different life areas
- The choice between going downstream (the easy path) and rowing upstream (the path to growth)
- Personal anecdotes, including a cautionary tale about his beloved Corvette
- Biblical wisdom on perseverance and fighting the good fight of faith
- The crucial role of community in maintaining an upstream journey
Kevin offers practical insights on how to thrive in every area of life, from physical health and finances to relationships and spirituality. He challenges listeners to shift their perspective from avoiding disaster to pursuing the abundant life God intends for them and their families.
Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by life's demands or seeking to reach your full potential, this episode provides valuable guidance on achieving uncommon freedom through intentional living and the power of community.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey friends, coming up on today's episode is a
message that I delivered at amen's gathering at Compassion
Church in Gilbert, arizona,recently, and it was on the
topic of always rowing upstream.
And for those of you who don'tknow, the concept of always
running upstream is the first ofthe three habits that makes up
(00:27):
the trinity of uncommon freedom,which you will learn more about
in my book, the SevenDisciplines of Uncommon Freedom,
which is available on Amazonand Audible.
So if you like what you hear,you can read all about it and
really learn how to apply thethree habits and seven
disciplines to help you achieveuncommon freedom in your life.
(00:49):
Enjoy All right.
Good evening, gentlemen.
How you doing.
It's really an honor to be herewith all of you, and my goal is
to really inspire all of us,myself included, to just really
become a better version ofourselves that God really calls
us to be after this evening.
How many of you have ever madea decision that you later
(01:11):
regretted?
Am I alone in this?
Raise your hands.
Okay, it kind of reminds me ofthe story of the kindergarten
teacher who it was teacherappreciation day and she had a
bunch of wonderful pupils andthey all, or many of them,
brought in some gifts.
So first was the florist's son.
She grabbed the box, she pickedit up overhead, shook it a
little bit.
She was like let me guessflowers.
(01:33):
He's like yeah, how'd you know?
She's like, ah, just a luckyguess.
So the next gift came from thecandy store owner's son,
daughter and the teacher grabsthe candy store owner's son,
daughter.
And the teacher grabs the candystore daughter's box same thing
, lifts it up, shakes it.
It's like let me guess box ofchocolates.
And the girl's like how did youknow?
(01:55):
It's like just a lucky guess.
So, like many teachers who liketo relax with a glass or bottle
of wine in the evening, thenext gift came from the liquor
store owner's son.
So she holds the box up overher head and she noticed a
little drop of something.
So she takes her finger.
(02:16):
She's like let me guess whitewine.
He's like no, white wine.
He's like no.
She holds it up again, takesanother little taste Champagne.
No, it's a puppy.
So what we're going to talkabout is a decision that we all
(02:39):
have to make in life, and thatdecision is to either go
upstream or downstream.
How many of you are familiarwith the concept of the wheel of
life?
I've got a slide to show youwhat this is.
Have any of you ever seen thisbefore or heard of it?
So this concept was developed,or the main person that I've
(03:00):
heard talk about this is StephenCovey.
He's a personal developmentguru.
He wrote the book the SevenHabits of Highly Effective
People.
It's a phenomenal book.
It's an oldie but it'sdefinitely a goodie.
And the concept of the Wheel ofLife is that there's about seven
(03:22):
or eight different spokes.
There's a lot of differentversions of this if you search
the internet and Stephen Covey'sversions are career, personal,
physical, family, mental,financial, spiritual.
If you search the internet,you're going to find different
versions of this.
They're going to use differentterms, but essentially they all
cover pretty much all thedifferent areas of our life that
(03:43):
truly exist, and the concept ofthe importance and the value of
this is in this graphic.
You can see that when you'redeficient, you're a one and when
you're thriving, you're a 10.
Okay, and the reality is thatmost people they're probably
(04:04):
thriving in one or two areas andmost people are also probably
deficient in one or two areas.
So they're in the seven oreight, nine, 10 in a couple of
these spokes and they're also aone, two or three in a couple of
these spokes, and maybe they'rejust kind of mediocre on some
of the other ones.
But as men, we all understandthat it's important to have a
(04:25):
round tire without a flat spot,right?
So if you have a 10 and thenyou have a one, you've got a
flat spot and that's going tocreate a very bumpy ride.
And it's a great analogy forlife that we have these
different areas of our life andwhat we really want to do is be
as even as possible right, andwhat we really want to do is be
(04:46):
as even as possible right.
Imagine the sports star who he'sin great physical shape, he's
got millions of dollars, but hisfamily life is falling apart.
You know, he's cheating on hiswife.
She's divorced, divorcing himand taking half of what they
have and his life is fallingapart.
That's an example of a lifethat's out of balance, and
(05:08):
there's very few people in lifein my experience that are not
only well balanced but alsothriving.
They're balanced in theireights, nines and tens in
virtually every area.
So what does this look likephysically?
It looks like great physicalhealth, right.
(05:28):
You've got plenty of energy todo all that the Lord has truly
called you to do.
This is an amazing statistic,but 90% of the things that kill
Americans are preventable.
They're lifestyle related,they're diet related and they're
habit related're diet relatedand they're habit related?
Right, we truly are killingourselves.
(05:48):
Here's another interestingstatistic or fact about the
physical component is that it ishuman nature there's tons of
research on this that when youare in good physical condition,
you automatically have morecredibility.
So imagine Pastor Myron 200pounds heavier.
(06:10):
The reality is every single oneof us is actually he's going to
have less credibility withevery single one of us if he's
200 pounds heavier.
Instead, he's actually lookslike he treats his body like a
temple of the Holy Spirit, andthat gives him additional
credibility.
And I used to struggle in thisarea of my life, and I'm not
(06:31):
trying to shame anyone who doesstruggle, but can you think of
anything that God calls us to dowhere being healthy doesn't
help us to do it better than ifwe're not healthy?
I can't.
The only thing I can is sumowrestling.
So, and if you're in trainingfor sumo wrestling, pack on the
pounds.
Other than that, we really haveno excuse.
(06:52):
When it comes to finances, itcould look like financial
security, and I know we'resupposed to trust God, but one
of the things that really sticksout to me about the journey of
the Israelites through thedesert is that he said I'm going
to take you to the promisedland, but they still had to do
the work to walk to get thereand they experienced some trials
(07:14):
along the way.
So I think that, yes, god wantsto give us security, but a lot
of times we're wasting the moneythat we have going into credit
card debt, buying things that wedon't need to impress people.
This is someone was justtalking about this right Buying
things we don't need to impresspeople that don't care.
It just doesn't make sense.
(07:34):
When it comes to marriage, itlooks like having an amazing
marriage with a wife who notonly loves you but actually
likes you, and maybe, if youlove her enough, she won't keep
her hands off.
You All right.
As a parent, thriving being inthis eight, nine, 10 sphere is
having a loving relationshipwith your kids and maybe even
(07:59):
when you're, when they're adults, you actually have a strong
friendship with them.
Uh, I'm not the type of guy whotries to be my kid's best
friend.
I got two of them sitting rightthere.
They'll agree I'm not theirbest friend most of the time.
Right now, I don't think that'smy job, but my prayer is that I
have the type of relationshipwith them that, as they reach
adulthood, that we truly canbecome great friends.
(08:21):
And then, spiritually, it lookslike having a deep relationship
with Jesus where you're livingin his grace and power and
honestly seeing miracles happenin your life and you can also
sense his spirit and hear hisspirit when he talks to you.
So what I've learned is that,among other things, in order to
(08:41):
thrive in every area of life,among other things, in order to
thrive in every area of life,you always have to row upstream.
This is a concept that my kidsget tired of hearing me talk
about.
It's a phrase that I use almostevery single day, and the
clients that I coach and mentorand the coaches that I work with
I talk about rowing upstream.
And this is the thing is wehave two choices in life stream.
(09:05):
And this is the thing is wehave two choices in life.
We can either go downstream orwe can intentionally row
upstream.
It takes discipline and aconscious effort to row upstream
.
All right, it's easy to godownstream right, downstream,
right.
We have the salt river here.
I've never been tubing in thesalt river.
I've done canoeing in someother places, I've done tubing
(09:26):
in other places.
It takes no effort, right, youdrop in upstream and the current
takes you downstream.
Now there's some people.
They're out there and they'repaddling really hard so you can
go downstream more quickly thanothers.
But most people are notintentionally going downstream,
but the reality is becausethey're not intentionally going
(09:47):
upstream, they're by defaultgoing downstream.
And then there's others.
These are the people who arereckless with their health.
Maybe their doctor said youneed to lose 100 pounds and stop
smoking and stop drinking, oryou're going to have a heart
attack.
And they continue to do thosethings.
Maybe it's the guy who'sdealing with some type of sexual
addiction.
He's cheating on his wife.
Maybe he deals with anger andhe's not treating his wife
(10:11):
properly.
He's beating his kids.
Those are people who areintentionally paddling
downstream and it's easy to lookat them and say, oh, look at
them.
But the reality is many of usare going downstream because
we're not going upstream.
Now, when you're consistentlydisciplined in all of these
different areas that are on thewheel of life, over time you end
(10:33):
up with the blessings of havinga close relationship with the
Lord, jesus Christ, you can havea healthy and satisfying
marriage and, generally speaking, you're going to have good
relationship with your kids.
The one thing I always like toput as a footnote when it comes
to parenting is that there aresome amazing parents who end up
with some really rotten kids.
You look at Adam, or God.
(10:55):
He created Adam and Eve, putthem in the Garden of Eden and
the second generation committedmurder.
Right, the first generation hadeverything they needed, needed
and they committed the first sin.
So it's important for us togive ourselves grace and others
grace when things don't go well,but as a general rule, if we're
following these principles,we're going to have a good
relationship with our kids,maybe even financial abundance,
(11:19):
and when I say financialabundance, it's easy.
We have a different perspectivein America than the rest of the
world does, and I'm not talkingabout all of us being rich, but
I'm saying in America, there'sreally no excuse for us to not
have our needs met, there'sreally no excuse for us to not
be tithing at least 10%, andthere's really no excuse for us
to not be saving towardsretirement so that we're not
(11:40):
dependent on the government.
And this is one of the mostimportant things, ultimately, is
having a life that is full ofpurpose and meaning, ultimately
fulfilling God's will for ourlife.
So from my experience I'velearned something that the fruit
of regret is bitter, but thefruit of discipline is sweet.
(12:04):
Now I'm going to share anexample of you, of what happens
when you lack discipline and howthat leads to massive regret.
I was just discussing the storywith a couple of my friends who
are here tonight.
I was born in 1977.
I was about three years oldwhen I saw my first Corvette and
I have been madly in love withCorvettes ever since then.
(12:24):
I don't own any New Balancetennis shoes, so none of those
jokes, guys.
All right, I don't have anyjean shorts, but I do love
Corvettes, all right.
So this was my first car, myfirst Corvette.
Bought it in 19 or 19.
I was born in 1977.
I bought this in 2015.
So I fell in love with the late70s, early 80s model of
(12:47):
Corvette.
It's not a classic car, it'snot a collector's item.
So when my wife finallyrelented and said okay, go ahead
, get your dream car, it was$8,500.
It didn't look like this, but Igot started for $8,500.
Over time made someimprovements to the engine, the
exhaust, got this custom paintjob done shortly after moving to
(13:08):
Arizona and it was pretty muchmy dream car.
It was a looker Fast forward toAugust of 2021.
I'd been having some issues withthe car starting, so I had a
handyman who would help me outabout once a month do his
projects around the house, whoalso happened to be a gearhead.
(13:28):
And this car was a four-speedmanual transmission.
So if you know anything about amanual transmission, you can
always push start the car.
So my plan was I'd spent thewhole week trying to start the
car wouldn't start, wouldn'tstart, and so I was like, well,
when my handyman comes over,we'll push start the car, drive
it to the mechanic and let themfigure out what's going on.
So it made sense when wedecided let's go take a look at
(13:51):
the car, grab the keys, like I'mgoing to see if it'll start for
me, and I'm like I've beentrying all week.
There's no way it's going tostart for you, but it's just
kind of like that ache and painthat you have that disappears
when you go to the doctor, kindof the same thing happened.
So my handyman sits into thedriver's seat, he puts his right
foot on the clutch.
How many of you have driven amanual transmission, right?
(14:11):
So already there's some wet redflags going off for you, right?
He puts his right foot on theclutch.
He has his left foot hangingout.
The driver's side door is openand this would have been okay if
he had just taken the car outof gear.
He starts the car, everything'sgood.
The problem is he popped theclutch.
(14:33):
I believe the car was.
I still don't know for sure,but this is the only thing that
makes sense.
The car was still in first gear, the car oiled high, I'd
upgraded the engine.
So at about 2000 RPM when hepopped the clutch, he peeled out
of my garage and 40 feet infront of him was an eight inch
concrete filled rebar reinforcedblock wall.
(14:54):
The frame just buckle under thepressure of going through that
block wall.
Now, when my handyman sat inthat car, if he had known what
was going to happen, he wouldhave done things differently,
right, he would have put hisleft foot on the clutch, he
(15:17):
would have put his right foot onthe brake pedal and he would
have taken the car out of gear.
Yes, can you start a manualtransmission with it in gear?
Absolutely, but you're takingchances when you do that.
Had he known what was going tohappen, he would have been more
disciplined with his decisions.
And what I want to challengeyou?
(15:38):
This is where the wholedownstream thing comes all right
.
Many of us are headed towardssome type of disaster like that.
It might not be that badmetaphorically speaking, but
it's going to be some type ofdisaster because you're not
doing things the right way,you're not rowing upstream.
(15:59):
Here's the crazy thing is inthe back of my head.
Fortunately I was standing alittle bit to the side and
behind the car when he did this.
If I'd been standing in fronthe might've killed me.
If my kids had been out thereplaying, he could have killed
them.
But I remember him putting hisright foot on the clutch and in
my head just thinking likeyou're not supposed to do that,
why don't you do it the rightway?
(16:19):
But I didn't say anything andthe reality is, many of us we
know the right things to do butwe don't do them.
We take the shortcut.
We we just drift right.
We're not even like like myhandyman.
He wasn't trying to cause thisaccident, he was just drifting
downstream.
Here you can see kind of theaftermath.
(16:41):
Um, cosmetically the car lookedokay because he ran into two
garbage cans that were, whichwere went, went through the uh,
the block wall, uh, but the carwas totaled.
And I tell people, uh, I paid$60,000 for a really cool story
to tell and a video to show, soum.
(17:01):
So last year I wrote a book.
It's called the sevendisciplines of uncommon freedom,
and I wrote the book becauseover the past 13 plus years my
wife and I have really learnedand implemented three habits and
seven disciplines.
And the first habit is toalways row upstream.
You see, 14 years ago I wasdrifting downstream in at least
(17:23):
several areas of my life.
My health wasn't great.
I was in what I would call astate of non-sick.
You see, I wasn't sick yet, butI was headed towards disease
because my eating habits werehorrible and, truthfully, my
habits hadn't caught up to meyet.
I'd already had one backsurgery and, being overweight, I
was headed towards a verylikely second, maybe third,
(17:45):
maybe fourth back surgery.
Financially we were getting by.
We weren't in debt other thanour mortgage, but we had no
margin.
We weren't saving towardsretirement.
We couldn't take any vacationsjust to get a break.
I was a police officer at thetime and financially I was
working a tremendous amount ofovertime, which meant that I was
(18:06):
away from my kids and away frommy family on a regular basis.
And socially we hung out with abunch of Christian you know
Christian friends from church.
But the reality is thosefriends, they were also drifting
downstream.
They weren't bad people.
I'm not trying to bash them,but when I reflect, we were all
(18:27):
going downstream together.
So over the last 13 plus yearsI've learned a lot of things.
I've been blessed to have someamazing mentors.
I've gotten healthy.
My life has radically changed.
I can honestly say that I'mthriving in every area of life.
Now, that doesn't mean thatlife is perfect or without
(18:48):
problems.
But here's what I found Is itwhen you're thriving versus just
surviving, the same problemthat can wreck your life?
When you're just surviving, youcan handle much better.
When you're thriving, all right, financially, that $500 car
repair when you're barelysurviving, when you're thriving,
(19:10):
isn't a big deal, all right.
Um, maybe you have anopportunity to go on a mission
trip when you're barelysurviving but you don't have the
money to go and you have to go,ask other people to help you go
, and there's nothing wrong withthat.
But when you're thriving andyou're presented with an
opportunity, you might not onlysay, yeah, I'm going, but I'm
going to bring my family with meand I'm going to for it and I'm
(19:32):
gonna help pay for some of theother people who are going on
this trip.
That's the difference betweensurviving and thriving.
The way that I define thisconcept of uncommon freedom is
thriving in every area of yourlife so that you can reach your
god-given potential and maximizeyour impact for God's kingdom
(19:55):
here on earth.
And one of the mistakes thatmany of us make and this is kind
of falls into the prosperitygospel, and I'm grateful that
this church doesn't preach likethat is that we think that if we
follow Jesus, achievinguncommon freedom is going to be
easy.
And I'm here to tell you thatthat's not the case.
All right, it's not easy to rowupstream, but what I can
(20:18):
promise you is that it is worthit.
Rowing upstream is worth it100% of the time and it leads to
peace.
So here's some Bible verses.
John 16, 33 says I have saidthese things to you, that in me
you may have peace In the world.
You will have tribulationthat's rowing upstream, but take
(20:38):
heart, I have overcome theworld.
In 2 Timothy, chapter 4, verses5 and 7, they say as for you,
always be sober-minded, enduresuffering, do the work of an
evangelist, fulfill yourministry, right I talked about.
Reach your God-given potential.
That is your ministry.
I have fought the good fight.
I have finished the race.
(20:59):
I have kept the faith.
First Timothy 6, 11 through 12says but as for you, o man of
God, flee these things.
Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness and
gentleness.
Fight the good fight of thefaith.
Take hold of the eternal lifeto which you were called and
about which you made the goodconfession in the presence of
(21:21):
many witnesses.
Every one of these versesdescribes essentially what is
rowing upstream.
So some of you might bemotivated to row upstream merely
to avoid disaster, but what Iwant to challenge you to do is
to shift your perspective andnot run from disaster, but
(21:43):
pursue the amazing abundant lifethat god really attends for you
and your family.
So, as I wrap up, I want to doa quick little demonstration and
since my boys are here, I'mgoing to ask my, my youngest son
, dylan, to come on up here.
All right, so we're definitelynot friends right now, all right
, all right.
(22:03):
So, dylan, I want you toimagine that you're going to be
the only guy who's rowingupstream right now.
Okay, so pretend like yourowing.
We don't do a lot of canoeingin our family Actually, we do
none, but he's got to figure itout and all of you guys
represent society, culture, sin,nature.
You're all going downstream.
(22:24):
All right, no offense, but forthe purposes of this
illustration, dylan, do you feela little awkward having all
these downstream people lookingat you?
Keep rowing, come on, I knowit's tiring, all right.
And here's the thing whenyou're rowing upstream, all the
downstream people are going tobe calling out to you.
They're like, why are youworking so hard?
(22:44):
What's your problem?
There's going to be some and Ihave experienced this there's
going to be some downstreampeople who not only make fun of
you, but they're actually goingto reach out and try to grab
your canoe and flip you aroundand have you join them, because
when you're going upstream, theydon't like that.
It's convicting.
All right, you got to keeprowing, son.
All right.
(23:04):
Now, austin, come on up here.
So I want you to stand next toDylan and continue rowing.
So I want you to stand next toDylan and continue rowing.
So, dylan, is it a little lessawkward.
Now You've got someone standingnext to you, all right.
(23:26):
So the one thing that I haven'ttalked about yet is the
importance of what I callrunning with lions.
This is community, because whenyou row by yourself, eventually
you're going to get tired, and,especially as men, we tend to
run from community, we tend torun from accountability.
We'd like to be mavericks,right?
Love Top Gun.
I mean, I could totallyidentify with that personality.
(23:49):
I'm absolutely a maverick, butI have learned that I need to
invite community into my lifeand I want that community to be
other men that are rowingupstream.
Okay, because here's somethingelse Keep rowing, guys is
eventually life is going tohappen to one of these people
and ultimately, you don't wantjust one other person in your
(24:09):
boat, you want a bunch of guysin your boat, okay, but
eventually life is going tohappen.
You're going to get that cancerdiagnosis, maybe something
happens to one of your kids, allright.
You get laid off from the job,something unexpected happens,
and when that happens, you gettired, and sometimes you have to
(24:30):
row a little bit slower, andsometimes you know what.
You just can't keep rowing.
And when you're in the boat byyourself and you stop rowing, it
is only a matter of time untilthe current stops you and turns
you around and you headdownstream, which is the natural
direction for every human being.
(24:51):
But when you have a boat fullof other men and other
Christians that are rowingupstream, you can take a break
and they've got your back.
You're going to continue goingupstream because you have that
community.
You guys can have a seat.
Thank you very much.
So there's two things I want toleave with you.
(25:11):
The first is that everythingthat God has for us is upstream
and it's worth the effort to rowupstream.
And the second thing is youhave to have other upstream
people in your boat to keepgoing upstream when you hit the
rapids of life.
And I truly believe that if youmake that commitment to row
(25:32):
upstream versus taking the easydownstream route, the Lord will
tell us when we meet him, likehe does in Matthew 25, 21.
Well done, good and faithfulservant.
You have been faithful over alittle.
I will set you over much.
Enter into the joy of themaster the joy of the master.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Uncommon freedom is a game changer, not only for the
focused leader, but also for therudderless sojourner seeking
direction.
When Kevin talks, I listen, Ilean in and always leave a
better man.
As the wisdom of Proverbs 3.13states, happy is the man who
finds wisdom and the man whogains understanding.
I want to warn you in advanceto prepare your spirit for a
heart and mind shift as you readthis book.
(26:18):
I have learned that convictioncomes when the heart is open to
change.
As I read this book, I wasmoved on several occasions to
evaluate my personal life andmake course corrections.
This isn't just a book.
It's a manual for creatinggodly leaders who we desperately
need today and especially asour children walk the earth in,
(26:43):
whatever it looks like 10, 20,30 years from now.
Who knows that?
We need leaders who embodythese things?
Because not only do we needpeople who are healthy and
wealthy and have the right heart, but we need people who know
where the spirit of the Lord is.
There is freedom.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
All right, friends.
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(27:34):
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listening to us on.
Hey friends, coming up on today's episode is a
message that I delivered at amen's gathering at Compassion
Church in Gilbert, arizona,recently, and it was on the
topic of always rowing upstream.
And for those of you who don'tknow, the concept of always
running upstream is the first ofthe three habits that makes up
(00:27):
the trinity of uncommon freedom,which you will learn more about
in my book, the SevenDisciplines of Uncommon Freedom,
which is available on Amazonand Audible.
So if you like what you hear,you can read all about it and
really learn how to apply thethree habits and seven
disciplines to help you achieveuncommon freedom in your life.
(00:49):
Enjoy All right.
Good evening, gentlemen.
How you doing.
It's really an honor to be herewith all of you, and my goal is
to really inspire all of us,myself included, to just really
become a better version ofourselves that God really calls
us to be after this evening.
How many of you have ever madea decision that you later
(01:11):
regretted?
Am I alone in this?
Raise your hands.
Okay, it kind of reminds me ofthe story of the kindergarten
teacher who it was teacherappreciation day and she had a
bunch of wonderful pupils andthey all, or many of them,
brought in some gifts.
So first was the florist's son.
She grabbed the box, she pickedit up overhead, shook it a
little bit.
She was like let me guessflowers.
(01:33):
He's like yeah, how'd you know?
She's like, ah, just a luckyguess.
So the next gift came from thecandy store owner's son,
daughter and the teacher grabsthe candy store owner's son,
daughter.
And the teacher grabs the candystore daughter's box same thing
, lifts it up, shakes it.
It's like let me guess box ofchocolates.
And the girl's like how did youknow?
(01:55):
It's like just a lucky guess.
So, like many teachers who liketo relax with a glass or bottle
of wine in the evening, thenext gift came from the liquor
store owner's son.
So she holds the box up overher head and she noticed a
little drop of something.
So she takes her finger.
(02:16):
She's like let me guess whitewine.
He's like no, white wine.
He's like no.
She holds it up again, takesanother little taste Champagne.
No, it's a puppy.
So what we're going to talkabout is a decision that we all
(02:39):
have to make in life, and thatdecision is to either go
upstream or downstream.
How many of you are familiarwith the concept of the wheel of
life?
I've got a slide to show youwhat this is.
Have any of you ever seen thisbefore or heard of it?
So this concept was developed,or the main person that I've
(03:00):
heard talk about this is StephenCovey.
He's a personal developmentguru.
He wrote the book the SevenHabits of Highly Effective
People.
It's a phenomenal book.
It's an oldie but it'sdefinitely a goodie.
And the concept of the Wheel ofLife is that there's about seven
(03:22):
or eight different spokes.
There's a lot of differentversions of this if you search
the internet and Stephen Covey'sversions are career, personal,
physical, family, mental,financial, spiritual.
If you search the internet,you're going to find different
versions of this.
They're going to use differentterms, but essentially they all
cover pretty much all thedifferent areas of our life that
(03:43):
truly exist, and the concept ofthe importance and the value of
this is in this graphic.
You can see that when you'redeficient, you're a one and when
you're thriving, you're a 10.
Okay, and the reality is thatmost people they're probably
(04:04):
thriving in one or two areas andmost people are also probably
deficient in one or two areas.
So they're in the seven oreight, nine, 10 in a couple of
these spokes and they're also aone, two or three in a couple of
these spokes, and maybe they'rejust kind of mediocre on some
of the other ones.
But as men, we all understandthat it's important to have a
(04:25):
round tire without a flat spot,right?
So if you have a 10 and thenyou have a one, you've got a
flat spot and that's going tocreate a very bumpy ride.
And it's a great analogy forlife that we have these
different areas of our life andwhat we really want to do is be
as even as possible right, andwhat we really want to do is be
(04:46):
as even as possible right.
Imagine the sports star who he'sin great physical shape, he's
got millions of dollars, but hisfamily life is falling apart.
You know, he's cheating on hiswife.
She's divorced, divorcing himand taking half of what they
have and his life is fallingapart.
That's an example of a lifethat's out of balance, and
(05:08):
there's very few people in lifein my experience that are not
only well balanced but alsothriving.
They're balanced in theireights, nines and tens in
virtually every area.
So what does this look likephysically?
It looks like great physicalhealth, right.
(05:28):
You've got plenty of energy todo all that the Lord has truly
called you to do.
This is an amazing statistic,but 90% of the things that kill
Americans are preventable.
They're lifestyle related,they're diet related and they're
habit related're diet relatedand they're habit related?
Right, we truly are killingourselves.
(05:48):
Here's another interestingstatistic or fact about the
physical component is that it ishuman nature there's tons of
research on this that when youare in good physical condition,
you automatically have morecredibility.
So imagine Pastor Myron 200pounds heavier.
(06:10):
The reality is every single oneof us is actually he's going to
have less credibility withevery single one of us if he's
200 pounds heavier.
Instead, he's actually lookslike he treats his body like a
temple of the Holy Spirit, andthat gives him additional
credibility.
And I used to struggle in thisarea of my life, and I'm not
(06:31):
trying to shame anyone who doesstruggle, but can you think of
anything that God calls us to dowhere being healthy doesn't
help us to do it better than ifwe're not healthy?
I can't.
The only thing I can is sumowrestling.
So, and if you're in trainingfor sumo wrestling, pack on the
pounds.
Other than that, we really haveno excuse.
(06:52):
When it comes to finances, itcould look like financial
security, and I know we'resupposed to trust God, but one
of the things that really sticksout to me about the journey of
the Israelites through thedesert is that he said I'm going
to take you to the promisedland, but they still had to do
the work to walk to get thereand they experienced some trials
(07:14):
along the way.
So I think that, yes, god wantsto give us security, but a lot
of times we're wasting the moneythat we have going into credit
card debt, buying things that wedon't need to impress people.
This is someone was justtalking about this right Buying
things we don't need to impresspeople that don't care.
It just doesn't make sense.
(07:34):
When it comes to marriage, itlooks like having an amazing
marriage with a wife who notonly loves you but actually
likes you, and maybe, if youlove her enough, she won't keep
her hands off.
You All right.
As a parent, thriving being inthis eight, nine, 10 sphere is
having a loving relationshipwith your kids and maybe even
(07:59):
when you're, when they're adults, you actually have a strong
friendship with them.
Uh, I'm not the type of guy whotries to be my kid's best
friend.
I got two of them sitting rightthere.
They'll agree I'm not theirbest friend most of the time.
Right now, I don't think that'smy job, but my prayer is that I
have the type of relationshipwith them that, as they reach
adulthood, that we truly canbecome great friends.
(08:21):
And then, spiritually, it lookslike having a deep relationship
with Jesus where you're livingin his grace and power and
honestly seeing miracles happenin your life and you can also
sense his spirit and hear hisspirit when he talks to you.
So what I've learned is that,among other things, in order to
(08:41):
thrive in every area of life,among other things, in order to
thrive in every area of life,you always have to row upstream.
This is a concept that my kidsget tired of hearing me talk
about.
It's a phrase that I use almostevery single day, and the
clients that I coach and mentorand the coaches that I work with
I talk about rowing upstream.
And this is the thing is wehave two choices in life stream.
(09:05):
And this is the thing is wehave two choices in life.
We can either go downstream orwe can intentionally row
upstream.
It takes discipline and aconscious effort to row upstream
.
All right, it's easy to godownstream right, downstream,
right.
We have the salt river here.
I've never been tubing in thesalt river.
I've done canoeing in someother places, I've done tubing
(09:26):
in other places.
It takes no effort, right, youdrop in upstream and the current
takes you downstream.
Now there's some people.
They're out there and they'repaddling really hard so you can
go downstream more quickly thanothers.
But most people are notintentionally going downstream,
but the reality is becausethey're not intentionally going
(09:47):
upstream, they're by defaultgoing downstream.
And then there's others.
These are the people who arereckless with their health.
Maybe their doctor said youneed to lose 100 pounds and stop
smoking and stop drinking, oryou're going to have a heart
attack.
And they continue to do thosethings.
Maybe it's the guy who'sdealing with some type of sexual
addiction.
He's cheating on his wife.
Maybe he deals with anger andhe's not treating his wife
(10:11):
properly.
He's beating his kids.
Those are people who areintentionally paddling
downstream and it's easy to lookat them and say, oh, look at
them.
But the reality is many of usare going downstream because
we're not going upstream.
Now, when you're consistentlydisciplined in all of these
different areas that are on thewheel of life, over time you end
(10:33):
up with the blessings of havinga close relationship with the
Lord, jesus Christ, you can havea healthy and satisfying
marriage and, generally speaking, you're going to have good
relationship with your kids.
The one thing I always like toput as a footnote when it comes
to parenting is that there aresome amazing parents who end up
with some really rotten kids.
You look at Adam, or God.
(10:55):
He created Adam and Eve, putthem in the Garden of Eden and
the second generation committedmurder.
Right, the first generation hadeverything they needed, needed
and they committed the first sin.
So it's important for us togive ourselves grace and others
grace when things don't go well,but as a general rule, if we're
following these principles,we're going to have a good
relationship with our kids,maybe even financial abundance,
(11:19):
and when I say financialabundance, it's easy.
We have a different perspectivein America than the rest of the
world does, and I'm not talkingabout all of us being rich, but
I'm saying in America, there'sreally no excuse for us to not
have our needs met, there'sreally no excuse for us to not
be tithing at least 10%, andthere's really no excuse for us
to not be saving towardsretirement so that we're not
(11:40):
dependent on the government.
And this is one of the mostimportant things, ultimately, is
having a life that is full ofpurpose and meaning, ultimately
fulfilling God's will for ourlife.
So from my experience I'velearned something that the fruit
of regret is bitter, but thefruit of discipline is sweet.
(12:04):
Now I'm going to share anexample of you, of what happens
when you lack discipline and howthat leads to massive regret.
I was just discussing the storywith a couple of my friends who
are here tonight.
I was born in 1977.
I was about three years oldwhen I saw my first Corvette and
I have been madly in love withCorvettes ever since then.
(12:24):
I don't own any New Balancetennis shoes, so none of those
jokes, guys.
All right, I don't have anyjean shorts, but I do love
Corvettes, all right.
So this was my first car, myfirst Corvette.
Bought it in 19 or 19.
I was born in 1977.
I bought this in 2015.
So I fell in love with the late70s, early 80s model of
(12:47):
Corvette.
It's not a classic car, it'snot a collector's item.
So when my wife finallyrelented and said okay, go ahead
, get your dream car, it was$8,500.
It didn't look like this, but Igot started for $8,500.
Over time made someimprovements to the engine, the
exhaust, got this custom paintjob done shortly after moving to
(13:08):
Arizona and it was pretty muchmy dream car.
It was a looker Fast forward toAugust of 2021.
I'd been having some issues withthe car starting, so I had a
handyman who would help me outabout once a month do his
projects around the house, whoalso happened to be a gearhead.
(13:28):
And this car was a four-speedmanual transmission.
So if you know anything about amanual transmission, you can
always push start the car.
So my plan was I'd spent thewhole week trying to start the
car wouldn't start, wouldn'tstart, and so I was like, well,
when my handyman comes over,we'll push start the car, drive
it to the mechanic and let themfigure out what's going on.
So it made sense when wedecided let's go take a look at
(13:51):
the car, grab the keys, like I'mgoing to see if it'll start for
me, and I'm like I've beentrying all week.
There's no way it's going tostart for you, but it's just
kind of like that ache and painthat you have that disappears
when you go to the doctor, kindof the same thing happened.
So my handyman sits into thedriver's seat, he puts his right
foot on the clutch.
How many of you have driven amanual transmission, right?
(14:11):
So already there's some wet redflags going off for you, right?
He puts his right foot on theclutch.
He has his left foot hangingout.
The driver's side door is openand this would have been okay if
he had just taken the car outof gear.
He starts the car, everything'sgood.
The problem is he popped theclutch.
(14:33):
I believe the car was.
I still don't know for sure,but this is the only thing that
makes sense.
The car was still in first gear, the car oiled high, I'd
upgraded the engine.
So at about 2000 RPM when hepopped the clutch, he peeled out
of my garage and 40 feet infront of him was an eight inch
concrete filled rebar reinforcedblock wall.
(14:54):
The frame just buckle under thepressure of going through that
block wall.
Now, when my handyman sat inthat car, if he had known what
was going to happen, he wouldhave done things differently,
right, he would have put hisleft foot on the clutch, he
(15:17):
would have put his right foot onthe brake pedal and he would
have taken the car out of gear.
Yes, can you start a manualtransmission with it in gear?
Absolutely, but you're takingchances when you do that.
Had he known what was going tohappen, he would have been more
disciplined with his decisions.
And what I want to challengeyou?
(15:38):
This is where the wholedownstream thing comes all right
.
Many of us are headed towardssome type of disaster like that.
It might not be that badmetaphorically speaking, but
it's going to be some type ofdisaster because you're not
doing things the right way,you're not rowing upstream.
(15:59):
Here's the crazy thing is inthe back of my head.
Fortunately I was standing alittle bit to the side and
behind the car when he did this.
If I'd been standing in fronthe might've killed me.
If my kids had been out thereplaying, he could have killed
them.
But I remember him putting hisright foot on the clutch and in
my head just thinking likeyou're not supposed to do that,
why don't you do it the rightway?
(16:19):
But I didn't say anything andthe reality is, many of us we
know the right things to do butwe don't do them.
We take the shortcut.
We we just drift right.
We're not even like like myhandyman.
He wasn't trying to cause thisaccident, he was just drifting
downstream.
Here you can see kind of theaftermath.
(16:41):
Um, cosmetically the car lookedokay because he ran into two
garbage cans that were, whichwere went, went through the uh,
the block wall, uh, but the carwas totaled.
And I tell people, uh, I paid$60,000 for a really cool story
to tell and a video to show, soum.
(17:01):
So last year I wrote a book.
It's called the sevendisciplines of uncommon freedom,
and I wrote the book becauseover the past 13 plus years my
wife and I have really learnedand implemented three habits and
seven disciplines.
And the first habit is toalways row upstream.
You see, 14 years ago I wasdrifting downstream in at least
(17:23):
several areas of my life.
My health wasn't great.
I was in what I would call astate of non-sick.
You see, I wasn't sick yet, butI was headed towards disease
because my eating habits werehorrible and, truthfully, my
habits hadn't caught up to meyet.
I'd already had one backsurgery and, being overweight, I
was headed towards a verylikely second, maybe third,
(17:45):
maybe fourth back surgery.
Financially we were getting by.
We weren't in debt other thanour mortgage, but we had no
margin.
We weren't saving towardsretirement.
We couldn't take any vacationsjust to get a break.
I was a police officer at thetime and financially I was
working a tremendous amount ofovertime, which meant that I was
(18:06):
away from my kids and away frommy family on a regular basis.
And socially we hung out with abunch of Christian you know
Christian friends from church.
But the reality is thosefriends, they were also drifting
downstream.
They weren't bad people.
I'm not trying to bash them,but when I reflect, we were all
(18:27):
going downstream together.
So over the last 13 plus yearsI've learned a lot of things.
I've been blessed to have someamazing mentors.
I've gotten healthy.
My life has radically changed.
I can honestly say that I'mthriving in every area of life.
Now, that doesn't mean thatlife is perfect or without
(18:48):
problems.
But here's what I found Is itwhen you're thriving versus just
surviving, the same problemthat can wreck your life?
When you're just surviving, youcan handle much better.
When you're thriving, all right, financially, that $500 car
repair when you're barelysurviving, when you're thriving,
(19:10):
isn't a big deal, all right.
Um, maybe you have anopportunity to go on a mission
trip when you're barelysurviving but you don't have the
money to go and you have to go,ask other people to help you go
, and there's nothing wrong withthat.
But when you're thriving andyou're presented with an
opportunity, you might not onlysay, yeah, I'm going, but I'm
going to bring my family with meand I'm going to for it and I'm
(19:32):
gonna help pay for some of theother people who are going on
this trip.
That's the difference betweensurviving and thriving.
The way that I define thisconcept of uncommon freedom is
thriving in every area of yourlife so that you can reach your
god-given potential and maximizeyour impact for God's kingdom
(19:55):
here on earth.
And one of the mistakes thatmany of us make and this is kind
of falls into the prosperitygospel, and I'm grateful that
this church doesn't preach likethat is that we think that if we
follow Jesus, achievinguncommon freedom is going to be
easy.
And I'm here to tell you thatthat's not the case.
All right, it's not easy to rowupstream, but what I can
(20:18):
promise you is that it is worthit.
Rowing upstream is worth it100% of the time and it leads to
peace.
So here's some Bible verses.
John 16, 33 says I have saidthese things to you, that in me
you may have peace In the world.
You will have tribulationthat's rowing upstream, but take
(20:38):
heart, I have overcome theworld.
In 2 Timothy, chapter 4, verses5 and 7, they say as for you,
always be sober-minded, enduresuffering, do the work of an
evangelist, fulfill yourministry, right I talked about.
Reach your God-given potential.
That is your ministry.
I have fought the good fight.
I have finished the race.
(20:59):
I have kept the faith.
First Timothy 6, 11 through 12says but as for you, o man of
God, flee these things.
Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness and
gentleness.
Fight the good fight of thefaith.
Take hold of the eternal lifeto which you were called and
about which you made the goodconfession in the presence of
(21:21):
many witnesses.
Every one of these versesdescribes essentially what is
rowing upstream.
So some of you might bemotivated to row upstream merely
to avoid disaster, but what Iwant to challenge you to do is
to shift your perspective andnot run from disaster, but
(21:43):
pursue the amazing abundant lifethat god really attends for you
and your family.
So, as I wrap up, I want to doa quick little demonstration and
since my boys are here, I'mgoing to ask my, my youngest son
, dylan, to come on up here.
All right, so we're definitelynot friends right now, all right
, all right.
(22:03):
So, dylan, I want you toimagine that you're going to be
the only guy who's rowingupstream right now.
Okay, so pretend like yourowing.
We don't do a lot of canoeingin our family Actually, we do
none, but he's got to figure itout and all of you guys
represent society, culture, sin,nature.
You're all going downstream.
(22:24):
All right, no offense, but forthe purposes of this
illustration, dylan, do you feela little awkward having all
these downstream people lookingat you?
Keep rowing, come on, I knowit's tiring, all right.
And here's the thing whenyou're rowing upstream, all the
downstream people are going tobe calling out to you.
They're like, why are youworking so hard?
(22:44):
What's your problem?
There's going to be some and Ihave experienced this there's
going to be some downstreampeople who not only make fun of
you, but they're actually goingto reach out and try to grab
your canoe and flip you aroundand have you join them, because
when you're going upstream, theydon't like that.
It's convicting.
All right, you got to keeprowing, son.
All right.
(23:04):
Now, austin, come on up here.
So I want you to stand next toDylan and continue rowing.
So I want you to stand next toDylan and continue rowing.
So, dylan, is it a little lessawkward.
Now You've got someone standingnext to you, all right.
(23:26):
So the one thing that I haven'ttalked about yet is the
importance of what I callrunning with lions.
This is community, because whenyou row by yourself, eventually
you're going to get tired, and,especially as men, we tend to
run from community, we tend torun from accountability.
We'd like to be mavericks,right?
Love Top Gun.
I mean, I could totallyidentify with that personality.
(23:49):
I'm absolutely a maverick, butI have learned that I need to
invite community into my lifeand I want that community to be
other men that are rowingupstream.
Okay, because here's somethingelse Keep rowing, guys is
eventually life is going tohappen to one of these people
and ultimately, you don't wantjust one other person in your
(24:09):
boat, you want a bunch of guysin your boat, okay, but
eventually life is going tohappen.
You're going to get that cancerdiagnosis, maybe something
happens to one of your kids, allright.
You get laid off from the job,something unexpected happens,
and when that happens, you gettired, and sometimes you have to
(24:30):
row a little bit slower, andsometimes you know what.
You just can't keep rowing.
And when you're in the boat byyourself and you stop rowing, it
is only a matter of time untilthe current stops you and turns
you around and you headdownstream, which is the natural
direction for every human being.
(24:51):
But when you have a boat fullof other men and other
Christians that are rowingupstream, you can take a break
and they've got your back.
You're going to continue goingupstream because you have that
community.
You guys can have a seat.
Thank you very much.
So there's two things I want toleave with you.
(25:11):
The first is that everythingthat God has for us is upstream
and it's worth the effort to rowupstream.
And the second thing is youhave to have other upstream
people in your boat to keepgoing upstream when you hit the
rapids of life.
And I truly believe that if youmake that commitment to row
(25:32):
upstream versus taking the easydownstream route, the Lord will
tell us when we meet him, likehe does in Matthew 25, 21.
Well done, good and faithfulservant.
You have been faithful over alittle.
I will set you over much.
Enter into the joy of themaster the joy of the master.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Uncommon freedom is a game changer, not only for the
focused leader, but also for therudderless sojourner seeking
direction.
When Kevin talks, I listen, Ilean in and always leave a
better man.
As the wisdom of Proverbs 3.13states, happy is the man who
finds wisdom and the man whogains understanding.
I want to warn you in advanceto prepare your spirit for a
heart and mind shift as you readthis book.
(26:18):
I have learned that convictioncomes when the heart is open to
change.
As I read this book, I wasmoved on several occasions to
evaluate my personal life andmake course corrections.
This isn't just a book.
It's a manual for creatinggodly leaders who we desperately
need today and especially asour children walk the earth in,
(26:43):
whatever it looks like 10, 20,30 years from now.
Who knows that?
We need leaders who embodythese things?
Because not only do we needpeople who are healthy and
wealthy and have the right heart, but we need people who know
where the spirit of the Lord is.
There is freedom.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
All right, friends.
Please subscribe to the podcastfor more insights on blending
entrepreneurship and theentrepreneurial mindset with
intentional living.
You can follow us on socialmedia.
We are on Instagram, primarily,and Facebook, and you're going
to find daily tips andinspiration from us there.
You'll also find us on YouTubelots of shorts as well as our
(27:34):
video podcast.
And then please, if you enjoythis podcast, please leave us a
five-star review and share us,and remember to subscribe on
YouTube as well as whateverpodcast platform you're
listening to us on.
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