July 1, 2025 • 38 mins
What if you could design your life with the same intentionality architects use to design buildings? That's the powerful premise behind Jared Roth's approach to "life architecture," which he shares in this milestone 100th episode of the Uncommon Freedom Show.
Jared brings wisdom from his remarkable three-track career as a vocational minister, university professor, and business coach. Having started a church at 23, directed an MBA program, and helped grow businesses (including one that sold for $44 million), he offers a unique perspective on living with purpose across multiple domains.
The conversation explores how we've evolved from basic time management to role management and finally to comprehensive life architecture. Jared shares his framework for identifying your major life roles, prioritizing what matters most, and creating a blueprint that encompasses all dimensions of a flourishing life.
"You may see me hurry, but you will never see me harried," Jared explains, revealing how he maintains harmony across professional achievements and personal responsibilities. He provides practical strategies for making your life plan adaptable through regular refreshes, monthly audits, and intentional flexibility. Far from being rigid, true life architecture creates space for both structure and spontaneity.
Perhaps most profound is Jared's guidance on mentorship and coaching. His greatest regret? Not accessing the wisdom around him more frequently throughout his journey. He explains what great mentors look for (alignment and diligence) and why coaching relationships accelerate personal transformation better than isolated self-improvement efforts.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder that a meaningful life doesn't happen by accident. As Jared quotes, "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." Ready to become the architect of your own extraordinary life?
Subscribe and tell a friend!
Get my book "The Seven Disciplines of Uncommon Freedom" on Amazon!
Visit bekandkev.com today to sign up for our email newsletter.
Access our Ideal Health Map HERE
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kevin Tinter (00:00):
All right, friends, welcome to a very
special episode of the UncommonFreedom Show.
As I mentioned on my lastepisode, Beck and I had to take
a break.
We pushed a very intentionalpause back in November.
We had a tremendous amount oflife going on, and we just had
to look at everything that wehad committed to, and we had to
(00:21):
prioritize.
And something that I learnedfrom Jared, who is my very
special guest today, is what dowe have the capability to do
versus what do we have thecapacity to do.
And we looked at our podcast.
We loved it.
And we said, you know what?
We just do not have thecapacity.
So we pushed pause.
It's been about seven, eightmonths.
And I've been chomping at thebit to get back to this.
(00:41):
But honestly, Becca and Itogether still do not have the
capacity to do a podcast.
So I am taking on a passionproject.
It was actually one of my goalsfor 2025 was to launch this
concept of the uncommon man,piggybacking on the concept of
uncommon freedom.
And I realized in this season,I'm ready to get back into
podcasting, but Becca and Idon't have the capacity to do it
(01:04):
together.
So I figured what a perfectopportunity to start doing some
interviews with some of theincredibly influential people
that I've been blessed to haveas a part of my life.
So I was just doing some quick,quick research on chat GPT.
Apparently a very smallpercentage of podcasts make it
past the third episode and onlyfive to 10% make it to a
(01:24):
hundred.
So Jared, as I was prepping,I'm like, okay, this is the
century mark.
This is a very specializedepisode, I was like, there is
only one person that reallydeserves to be on this podcast
with me, especially as we talkabout Uncommon Man, and that is
you.
So, Jared Roth, welcome to theshow, and thanks for being my
first Uncommon Man guest.
Jared Roth (01:45):
Hey, my privilege, Kevin.
It's really an honor to be withyou, and you know, so much of
what I have to talk about today,I think of you as probably
being a great exemplar of, sowe're a good team today.
Kevin Tinter (01:57):
Awesome.
Well, that's an honor.
So for those who don'tnecessarily know, you've been
very influential in my life.
You're talked about in my book.
And honestly, a lot of thethings that Beck and I talk
about, especially when it comesto intentional living, the
concept of lifestyle design,these are really things that I
initially learned from you.
So I...
When I was thinking about JaredRoth, one of the first words
(02:22):
that comes to mind isintentional and everything that
you and your wife and did whenyou were leading the church and
just in your business life andin your family life and your
personal life, you were veryintentional about it in a very
very healthy way and reallytaught me that I heard John
Maxwell say probably about eightyears ago I remember where I
(02:44):
was when I heard him say thisand but it's something that you
demonstrated he really taught meis most people accept the life
they were given and very fewchoose to lead the life you
want.
And what I'm excited abouttoday is for people to hear from
one of the people that I thinkis one of the masters of
lifestyle design, being veryintentional about life.
But I just want to share aquick little example of how you
(03:07):
demonstrated intentionality.
Might not even be somethingthat you even remember, but as
the lead co-pastors of EvergreenChurch in Hillsboro, where we
met you about 14 years ago, youand Ann were very intentional to
park in the back 40 of theparking lot.
And your reason was, is thatwas a servant leader way of
(03:30):
leading your church.
I think it's Simon Sinek whowrote the book, Leaders Eat
Last.
And it's a Marine Corps thingas well.
It was one of the things Ilearned in the Marine Corps is
that officers eat after theirtroops.
And that was just a very simpleexample.
But growing up in the Midwest,which is the Bible Belt, which
is honestly a very...
uh, positional leadership wayof doing life where most
(03:52):
churches had pastors parking.
And it was right.
You know, it was the, it wasthe premier parking spot to
have, to, to watch you and, andbe intentional about we're going
to park far away so thateveryone else can park close,
just spoke volumes to me.
So I just want to, uh, to sharethat example with you.
So, uh, friends about, it wasabout 13 years ago that I was
(04:14):
involved in the business ofBeckett started, and we had been
going to Evergreen for about ayear and we had become friends
and you started, was it calledmen at work or, um, Was that,
that was the name of the group,right?
Okay.
I've been a part of a couple ofgroups that had similar name
titles, but it was men at workand it was, man, it was a small
(04:36):
group, three or four of us.
And you invited me to be a partof this group and you played a
huge role in helping me navigatethe transition from being a
police officer, uh, after, youknow, basically 11, 12 years of
being a public servant where Ihad a quote unquote steady
paycheck, you know, governmentbenefits, health insurance and
things like that.
(04:57):
and moving into this world ofbeing self-employed business
owner.
And one of the other uniquethings about you, Jared, that
was I feel like God used it as ahuge blessing in my life was
the fact that you werebivocational.
Once again, not only were youthe first pastor that I met that
intentionally parked far awayfrom the front door, but you
were the first pastor that I metthat was also an entrepreneur
(05:19):
and that was also a businessowner and a business coach.
And I'm so grateful because youused your expertise to really
pour into my life.
So I just want to First of all,say thank you again for the
huge influence you've had in mylife.
So before we get into that, Ijust love real quick.
Give us a little, you know,that Reader's Digest version of
Jared Roth, your life, yourfamily, your education and your
(05:41):
career.
Jared Roth (05:42):
Awesome.
Well, thanks so much.
Hey, I have been very fortunateand Kevin, you've alluded to
it.
I've been able to live a threetrack professional life and
those three tracks haveoverlapped.
Sometimes I've done all three.
sometimes just one, but I havestayed current across my
professional life in all three,vocational minister, university
(06:05):
professor, and business coach.
So Ann and I started a churchwhen we were 23 years of age.
Over the course of the next fewyears, we helped several
hundred churches start in theUnited States.
And for a season, I was theinternational vice president and
then interim president of adenomination with over 60,000
(06:25):
churches.
in 125 countries.
So that's the ministerial sideof my life.
After earning a doctorate inorganization change from
Pepperdine, I directed the MBAprogram at George Fox
University, and I taught coursesin business leadership,
business strategy, and executiveleadership.
And as a business coach, I gotto work with entrepreneurial
(06:49):
business leaders, and everybodyhas their favorite story to
tell, so I'll tell mine.
One of those businesses, when Istarted working with them, was
valued at $500,000, and sevenyears later, a portion of the
business sold to an investor for$44 million.
Wow.
They didn't all have thatexperience, but that's a fun one
to have in the portfolio.
(07:09):
Yeah.
My research interests as anacademic are about emotional
intelligence and the influenceof emotional intelligence,
specific factors in effectiveleadership in different
professions and occupations.
We're a four-generation family.
We are age 11 through 95, andwe play together a lot.
(07:32):
My wife, Ann, and I justcompleted our 50th National Park
in the last two years in ourSprinter Adventure Van.
And we head out internationallyto hike for at least one month
a year as well.
I want to say, however, Kevin,and you know this about me, one
of my mottos is...
(07:54):
You may see me hurry, but youwill never see me harried.
And I've had the privilege ofliving a wonderful, rich,
diverse, at times complex life.
At times I've needed to hurry abit, but I can say that one of
(08:16):
the benefits I've enjoyed frombeing a life architect is that I
do not find myself harried.
Kevin Tinter (08:23):
No, that's so good.
And I think when you look atwhere we're at as a modern
society, I think harried isprobably a description, an
adjective that a lot of peoplemight not even know what it
means.
But if you do know what itmeans, it really describes where
a lot of us are at, you know,where, how you doing?
Probably the most commonresponse is busy.
(08:44):
And it's Sometimes it's a badgeof honor, but honestly, I think
if you really dug into it, mostpeople would say busy and
harried would be how they followup with that.
So, Jared, thank you so muchfor that.
So what initially motivated youto become a life architect?
Jared Roth (09:02):
Well, as a young person and leader, I wanted to
be effective, and part of that'smy faith base.
I'm a follower of Christ, andbeing a steward of my gifts and
callings and being effective inlife and productive is an
important core value for me.
I accessed what was availableat the time.
Remember, Kevin, you know thatI'm old.
(09:22):
So I've had a historic spanhere.
But at the time, timemanagement was a very important
topic.
And Peter Drucker, father ofmodern management, really helped
introduce that idea.
And I was a student of timemanagement, really benefited
from that.
And then I began to realizethat time management had nothing
(09:43):
to do with priorities.
So you could do a lot thatwasn't very important.
Really, the next season thenwas role management.
And the book Seven Habits ofHighly Effective People, which
is still a classic, though it'sbeen around for decades, really
was an introduction to rolemanagement.
(10:04):
Define your life by your majorroles and then build your life
around those roles.
That proved to be life-changingfor me because now I'm really
leaning into the things that areimportant for me to be a
steward of.
And then more recently andwonderfully, what I call life
architecture.
And I think I stumbled acrossthat first of all, Jack, Welsh
(10:28):
who was a famous CEO of GE.
His first statement ofphilosophy was, plan your own
future or someone else will.
Kevin Tinter (10:38):
Yes.
Jared Roth (10:38):
And he was talking about the corporation.
Jim Rome then expanded on thatidea just a little bit and
applied it to life and I quote,if you don't design your own
life plan, chances are you'llfall into someone else's life
plan and guess what?
They have planned for you.
Not much.
Kevin Tinter (10:58):
Isn't that true?
Jared Roth (10:59):
Isn't it?
It really is true.
And so, this idea of respondingto life as it comes my way is
not really noble in my opinionbecause what it says is I will
let everyone and anything elsedetermine for me what I should
do next.
Mm-hmm.
So the idea of lifearchitecture, and I love that.
(11:21):
And as a business coach, I workwith business owners and talk
about architecting theirbusiness.
And life architecture is justan extension of that.
Let's move it from just beyondthe business context with
excellent business planning.
And let's also plan the otherareas of our life with equal
intentionality.
And then let's put all thistogether in a beautiful
(11:43):
architectural life plan thatsays, If I build this out, I
will live the life that I wantto live.
Kevin Tinter (11:51):
That's so good.
I love that analogy.
And it's actually one that Iuse frequently to talk about
building a house because it'ssomething that we've actually
done twice, two very differentscales of homes.
But if you've ever built ahouse, what you realize is you
have a blueprint and you spend alot of time preparing and
planning and talking to people.
(12:13):
There's a lot of work that goesinto building the blueprint
before you even break ground.
And then, you know, if you havea typical experience at some
point, you're going to say, youknow what, we want to change
this.
And it allows you to make achange.
And then you might even have toredo the blueprints.
Sometimes there's just anaddendum or something like that.
(12:34):
But if you try to build a housewithout any blueprint
whatsoever, you're going to endup with a complete mess.
And I think that what I learnedfrom you is that most people
are going through life andthey're trying to build
something, but they have noblueprint for it.
And therefore...
things are happening to theminstead of their instead of you
(12:56):
know they're reacting instead ofresponding because one of the
things that beck and i havelearned is that it doesn't
matter what your plan is for2024 2025 or 2026 or your 5 10
15 20 year plan things are goingto happen and what you we're
hoping for is going to end upbeing different, most likely.
However, having that plan inplace allows you to pivot
(13:18):
strategically and with intentionso that you're still maybe even
further along down the roadthan you anticipated, and maybe
not, but at least you're stillheaded in towards the direction
of what you want instead of justending up with a ramshackle
type of shed.
Jared Roth (13:36):
I think that is so wise.
And yes, I think it's criticalin planning to keep two values
in mind.
And you mentioned one, which isflexibility.
Life happens, and so itrequires flexibility.
And the other one for me, andthis is not everyone's value,
but I wanted to have a life planthat built in times for me to
be able to respond to peoplespontaneously.
(13:59):
So it lacks rigidity.
So it's not only changeableflexibility, but it doesn't feel
rigid to others.
Kevin Tinter (14:10):
Could you give an example of that, Jared?
Jared Roth (14:12):
So, while pastoring, and as you mentioned, I was
doing these two otherprofessional roles as well,
simultaneously.
I wanted the church to alwaysfeel like they had all of my
attention.
They did not.
And they knew that, but Iwanted the feeling to be there.
So I would build into my weeklyplan several pockets of time
(14:37):
that was reserved for beingresponsive to people in the
congregation that wanted to meetwith me.
So they knew that I had a lotof things going.
And so people would kind ofsometimes apologetically say,
hey, I'd love to have coffeewith you sometime.
I know you're very busy, blah,blah.
And I would say, how about nextTuesday at nine?
Or would next Wednesday eveningat six be better?
(14:57):
They were stunned with myavailability, with my apparent
spontaneity, but I could only beavailable and spontaneous
because I had planned for that.
Kevin Tinter (15:08):
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
And I remember many timessaying, hey, are you available
to get together?
And I would say, you know, I...
probably knew more about howmany different things you had
going on than most of the churchmembers.
I would suspect that a lot,unless you actually mentioned it
from stage, probably had noidea that you were bivocational,
which is to your credit becausethere's other people who
(15:32):
they're in a career, whetherit's pastoring or something
else, and they might havesomething else.
And you're like, Are theyreally committed to this?
And that was definitely, yousaid a great example of being
able to do multiple things, butmaking yourself available to
each of those different aspectsof your life so that people
didn't feel like they weregetting cheated.
So that's awesome.
(15:53):
So using the architect image,Jared, what is your foundation
for the life that you'rebuilding?
Jared Roth (16:02):
Well, as a person of faith, I go there first and
foremost.
And we all experience our faithin different ways, and we
interpret the priorities of thatdifferently.
So the foundation that I wouldrecommend for everyone is the
foundation of their faith.
While I'm recognizing thatwe're going to lay foundations
that look different because weare different people with
(16:23):
different callings, withdifferent gifts and different
interests.
And so I recognize that there'ssome diversity there.
You mentioned you and Beccabuilding a couple of homes and
it brought to mind, I grew up ina farmhouse that did not have a
foundation.
Furthermore, it didn't have ablueprint.
In fact, my parents bought thisfarm with this house on it and
(16:48):
the house was supposed to be alarge garage.
And because the garage had apeaked roof, they put an attic
upstairs.
And then as children came intothe family, they started adding
lean-to additions.
So I grew up into a house thatwas one big box with an attic
and lean-to additions.
Later in life, Ann and I boughtthe farm from my parents so
(17:12):
they could move on in aretirement home.
And when I had the placeappraised, the house was
appraised as a negative value.
And I said to the appraiser, Ithink you made a mistake here.
And she said, oh, no, I made nomistake.
That house has to be removed.
Wow.
So I grew up in a house withouta foundation that had lean twos
(17:36):
that functioned well enough forour family to grow up in.
But its value was worth lessthan nothing because it didn't
have a foundation and it wasn'tdesigned with a plan.
Kevin Tinter (17:51):
What a metaphor.
Yeah.
Jared Roth (17:53):
So, I want a life with a foundation.
For mine, my faith is myfoundation.
And the priorities that comeout of that are the points of
focus that are most importantfor me to assure, get built into
the blueprint.
Kevin Tinter (18:07):
Oh, that's so good.
So, once the foundation isclear, what kind of rooms are
needed to advance thispurposeful life?
Jared Roth (18:14):
Yeah, you know, I just had reinforced for me the
importance of being thoughtfulabout building the whole house,
especially from working withbusiness owners, uh, many times
who are so focused on thebusiness that the rest of their
life is neglected and is after.
And so this idea of, um, Ourprofessional life during most of
(18:39):
our life is going to requiremost of our time, energy, and
attention.
We understand that.
But if the other rooms of thatlife aren't attended to equally
well in the planning, eventhough they may not get equal
time and energy, then they aregoing to atrophy for neglect and
our life is going to end upbeing something that is
(19:00):
lopsided.
Part of it is going to bepotentially overdeveloped and
other parts of itunderdeveloped.
So I go back then to thatsecond generation of what I call
time management, which is roleidentification.
And I, for many years, chose toidentify my major roles and
then to say, in this role, howam I going to build it out in a
(19:21):
way that really makes thatrobust and prepares that area of
my contribution for the futureas well.
The professional side of mylife will get undue attention,
energy, and time, but the othersmust be given the attention and
time for them to be nurtured sothat the whole of my life is
(19:46):
has balance to it.
Balance is a word I actuallydon't prefer to use, but I use
it because it's common.
But Kevin, you may recall, Iprefer to use the word harmony.
A musical piece that's writtenwith harmonies, the harmonies
don't dominate the major melody.
but they support it and make itthe piece of beauty that it is.
(20:10):
I think other roles in our lifeare at times harmonies and
they're critical and unlessthey're called out and develop
their atrophy and we end upbeing less purposeful, less
whole and less healthy and as aresult contributing in a more
two-dimensional way to others inlife.
Kevin Tinter (20:28):
That's so good.
So good.
So how do you try to prioritizeyour goals and plans with so
many competing factors, Jared?
Jared Roth (20:37):
Yeah.
Well, when I first did the workof identifying my major roles
in life, the promise was thatprobably most people are going
to be able to identify someplacebetween 25 and 75 roles.
Kevin Tinter (20:55):
Wow.
Jared Roth (20:57):
And then the discipline is to find roles that
were stated more specificallythan they needed to be so that
you can roll some up into onerole.
For example, I have a role ofbeing a father of a daughter and
the father of a son.
I can roll those up and saythat I am a father.
So there's consolidation.
(21:18):
But the most difficult work ofrole identification, if as what
is suggested is I'm going to endup with seven major roles,
roles, I'm going to have toeliminate the majority of the
roles that I've identified thatI have in life to get down to
seven.
That is painful, painful work.
And I'm going to make aconfession.
I'm not proud about this.
(21:39):
I'm just going to describe howpainful this is.
I believe that because Jesussaid our major command in life
is to love God and to love ourneighbor as ourself, that
neighbors must be prettyimportant.
I have never in my good lifehad neighbor as one of my top
seven roles.
Kevin Tinter (22:00):
Wow, that's a good point.
Jared Roth (22:01):
I'm conflicted about that.
I not only think it'simportant, I know it's
important.
But it's that level of painfulparing down to say, at the end
of the day, which are the sevenroles that I will live and die
for and I will pour the majorityof my attention into and
purposefully plan for andnurture, knowing that some other
(22:24):
roles in my life are going tobe spontaneously addressed and
I'll be thrilled when they do,but they are not going to be
intentionally built in thearchitecture of my life.
Kevin Tinter (22:34):
So good.
So good.
So we can't perfectly predictthe future and or can we barely
predict the future.
So how do you make your lifeplan adaptable and fresh?
Jared Roth (22:46):
Yeah.
So I, when I get something thatworks well, I really like to
keep it.
So one of the things that I'vemade myself do is to dump my
good life template every fiveyears.
Kevin Tinter (23:00):
Okay.
Jared Roth (23:02):
And replace it with something that I actually think
and feel will be better once Idiscover it.
So the discipline is not justto require that I change how I
structure, but is also torequire myself that I do the
work and the due diligence andthe research to come up with
something that is fresh, new,and better.
(23:22):
Okay.
And so I require of myselfinnovation and change to a plan
that has worked wonderfully wellfor me.
And I came up on five years atthe end of 2024.
So I knew that I had givenmyself an assignment to come up
(23:43):
with a fresh way of organizingmy life for 2025.
And I'm happy to report to youthat while many elements of the
plan are similar, that becauseof research that I did about
most recent discoveries onwell-being and purpose,
particularly later in life, nowthat I am 70 and retired, that I
(24:05):
think and frame my life indifferent ways.
So first of all, I requiremyself innovation and change in
how I create my blueprint.
Mm-hmm.
The second thing that I dothat's been very, very helpful
is that I require myself that Ihave new goals every year.
So even if the template remainsthe same and roles remain the
same and the values under thoseroles remain the same, the
(24:26):
activities that I'm going to doin pursuing those roles will
change.
And if the goals are differentthan probably the plans to meet
those goals, are different.
I don't throw out everything.
That's not the point.
The point is I require myselfthat there be a freshness every
year about that.
(24:47):
So I have a five year change.
I have a one year freshening.
And then every month I take acouple of hours on a Saturday
morning and it's scheduled inthe calendar.
And I do an audit on how I didthe previous month.
And there are, for example,people, that I have listed.
(25:07):
I have three categories ofrelationships.
I have new, now, and old.
And I have lists of people,short lists, under each of those
each year.
New relationships, the word isinitiate.
Initiate the new, nurture thenow, and sustain the old.
So when I go through my list atthe end of the month, I just
(25:29):
check off which of those peopleI did engage with that previous
month.
And if I didn't, I make anappointment in the following
month so that I willintentionalize what didn't
happen spontaneously the monthbefore.
As we move forward as wellacross the course of the year,
especially as you move through aquarter or second quarter, you
(25:51):
know, life has happened.
And I actually have learned tocelebrate and enjoy going in and
making changes because itindicates that life is dynamic.
The people that I do life withare dynamic.
And this is a tool.
It is not armor that I wear.
The tool serves life and itgives direction and it's an
(26:14):
earth star.
It is simply a tool that isflexible and malleable and
changeable.
And in fact, it wouldn't be auseful tool unless it did
change.
Kevin Tinter (26:24):
It reminds me of the scripture about the Sabbath,
right?
Man was not made for theSabbath, but the Sabbath for
man.
And it's easy for a lot of us,I think, to put some of these
structures in place and theybecome...
we lose focus and it's kind oflike the structure was made for
me, not me for the structure.
And, um, and so that's probablythe other end of the spectrum
(26:45):
for people who don't put anyintentionality into their life
to those who put so much, butthey're not willing to adjust.
So good.
Jared Roth (26:52):
Yeah.
I, Kevin, uh, uh, you happen toknow, um, my wife and we've
been married 47 years.
We met in the eighth grade.
We know each other pretty well.
Yeah.
She doesn't organize life theway I organize it.
She doesn't have a good lifetemplate.
And she is equally intentionalabout life as I.
And we merge life in a way thatmakes it work, in terms of
(27:19):
schedule, rarely withoutconflict.
By the way, we've worked ourway there in 47 years.
But having said that, I'malso...
daily reminded that this is anextension of my personality,
temperament, and preferences,and that other people are
equally intentional and organizethat and communicate that and
(27:41):
audit that in very differentways.
The key is not the tool.
The key is not the strategy.
The key is intentionality.
Kevin Tinter (27:49):
Yes, that's so good because Beck and I are very
similar.
I love spreadsheets.
I literally right here, This ismy life on a page.
I probably should have thatmade into an app or something
like that instead of stillcarrying around a clipboard and
a piece of paper that I printout on the first of every month,
but it works for me.
Becca doesn't care for it.
(28:11):
She thinks it's horribly analretentive, but she's also very
intentional.
So I think that's a greatlesson is that there's not a
right or a wrong way to do this.
The key is how are you beingintentional and then putting it
into a framework that works foryour personality and your
preferences.
That's so good.
Jared Roth (28:30):
I do think the language of construction is very
helpful.
And because it's common to mostof us, I find it helpful
regardless of the methodology.
But to think in terms ofarchitecting one's life,
thinking through what's thishouse to be used for, thinking
through what rooms are going tobe critical, thinking through
how am I going to support eachof those rooms, and then doing
(28:54):
that time, energy audit, andsometimes finances as well.
Time, energy, and money.
And now I have all these grandplans, but I have these three
areas of limitation.
How...
Am I going to find synergybetween these and how am I going
to eliminate some of my goalsfor this year that may have to
go later because I don't havethe capacity?
Kevin Tinter (29:14):
That's so good.
So good.
All right.
So, just a couple of extraquestions for you as we wind
things down here.
What advice do you have for allof us regarding associations
and seeking out mentorship?
Jared Roth (29:30):
I have very few regrets, Kevin.
I'm fortunate in life and I'malso not wired to live in the
past.
So I'm blessed with selectiveamnesia.
Having said that, my majorregret, and it is so far in
first place that I don't evenknow what's in second place, is
(29:52):
that as an independently wiredhuman, that I did not access
wisdom all around me morefrequently and more broadly.
I simply didn't access it.
I'm a reader, and so as avoracious reader, I gained
(30:12):
tremendous information byreading.
But God blessed me with humansaround me and formal and
informal learning opportunitiesthat had I accessed would have
dramatically accelerated mypurposefulness success and
productivity in life.
I wish that I, when I wasespecially given new
(30:36):
opportunities or faced newchallenges, that my first
thought would have been, who isit in my life that I could reach
out to to get a perspective onthis?
As a business coach, I am ahuge, huge fan in the coaching
model.
For a period of my life, Iworked as a consultant.
(30:57):
I liked the work that I did,but we ended up at the end of a
consultation with excellentproblem identification, solution
identification, and plans toimplement, and those were
essentially never implemented.
The coaching relationship,which is ongoing and provides
support and accountability andhuman touch, is critical.
(31:18):
I now have coaches in my life.
I wish years ago that I wouldhave engaged people speaking
into my life in a coachingcontext.
I think it is the mostpowerful, transformational,
human context that we haveaccess to.
And now we have such scienceand understanding about the
(31:42):
psychology and the sociology ofcoaching as well.
When I read the scripture, Isee that it's Jesus model, and I
don't know why I didn't readcoaching when I read through the
New Testament from start toend.
That is, in my opinion, theroad to accelerated success and
personal transformation.
Kevin Tinter (32:03):
That's so good.
My last question for you is,and I realize you're in a new
season of life than when we met14 years ago, but what do you
look for or what do you thinkgreat mentors like yourself are
looking for when they'reconsidering investing in someone
by mentoring them?
Jared Roth (32:25):
For me, I want to be a match in terms of what I have
to contribute.
And so this is a humbleapproach to say, I want to help
you.
I hope that I can help you, butI may not be the most helpful
for you.
And much of my interviewing ofa candidate for mentoring is
(32:49):
around whether or not I'm a fitfor them.
I don't think that they wouldbe reaching out if they weren't
sincere.
So I'm wanting to serve themthe best with the best referral.
And many times I find myselfmaking referrals because while I
have the skills to lead througha coaching process or a
mentoring process, others may bebetter suited for them.
(33:12):
The second thing that I lookfor is I'm going to use the word
diligence.
What I mean is You giveyourself an assignment one week
and you do it.
I won't work with people thatdon't do the work.
And as a business coach, Iremember the first client that I
(33:35):
fired because he wouldn't dothe homework.
He could afford what I thoughtwas a substantial monthly fee
and he didn't mind paying itbecause he enjoyed our
friendship.
But I fired him because hewouldn't do the work.
And what I said to him is, It'sa disservice to you for us to
(33:57):
call what has become afriendship, a coaching
relationship.
It's a disservice to yourbusiness and your employees that
you're not making progress.
And it is a disservice to mebecause I find fulfillment and
satisfaction from being a giftin someone's life that is making
a transformational difference.
So I need to be the right fitfor you and you need to do the
(34:19):
work to change.
Kevin Tinter (34:20):
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
Well, Jared, there's a sayingthat says, and I don't remember
who's credited with this, butyou can count the seeds in an
apple, but you can't count theapples in a seed.
And I would just say that yourinfluence on my life and on
Becca's life getting choked upis like that.
(34:40):
We've been blessed to have animpact in the lives of a lot of
people.
And I don't say that to brag.
But when I look back where wewere, 14 years ago in just a
couple months, our life was verydifferent.
We were on a differenttrajectory, had different
priorities.
(35:01):
We were much more, you know,just going through life.
We didn't have that blueprint.
And you, you know, the Lordused, you know, us moving to the
church you were pastoring andjust, you know, you identifying
something in us that made youwilling to invest in us.
But I, you know, I think one ofthe things that I look most
(35:23):
forward to in heaven is Ibelieve that we'll get a glimpse
of all the impact that we'vehad, that we don't even know
that we've had.
And I know that when you'rethere, there's going to be
people that Beck and I hadimpact, but they're part of the
ripple effect that you had inour lives.
So thank you so much for yourtime today.
(35:43):
I value it immensely.
I have tremendous respect andlove for you.
You've been just a hugeinfluence in my life, you and
Anne both.
And I'm so grateful for you.
I could, gosh, I could talk toyou about this kind of stuff
every month.
We could just do an UncommonMan, Jared Roth series and
probably go on for a couple ofyears.
But I'm so grateful for you.
(36:05):
And it's so great to catch up.
And I hope that our listenershave caught just a fraction of
what I have from you over theyears.
And thank you so much.
Jared Roth (36:17):
You're welcome.
My pleasure.
Kevin Tinter (36:18):
All right.
Thank you, friends.
I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
Stay tuned.
I can't promise that they'reall going to be as good as this
one, but they will be close.
So have a wonderful day.
All right, friends, welcome to a very
special episode of the UncommonFreedom Show.
As I mentioned on my lastepisode, Beck and I had to take
a break.
We pushed a very intentionalpause back in November.
We had a tremendous amount oflife going on, and we just had
to look at everything that wehad committed to, and we had to
(00:21):
prioritize.
And something that I learnedfrom Jared, who is my very
special guest today, is what dowe have the capability to do
versus what do we have thecapacity to do.
And we looked at our podcast.
We loved it.
And we said, you know what?
We just do not have thecapacity.
So we pushed pause.
It's been about seven, eightmonths.
And I've been chomping at thebit to get back to this.
(00:41):
But honestly, Becca and Itogether still do not have the
capacity to do a podcast.
So I am taking on a passionproject.
It was actually one of my goalsfor 2025 was to launch this
concept of the uncommon man,piggybacking on the concept of
uncommon freedom.
And I realized in this season,I'm ready to get back into
podcasting, but Becca and Idon't have the capacity to do it
(01:04):
together.
So I figured what a perfectopportunity to start doing some
interviews with some of theincredibly influential people
that I've been blessed to haveas a part of my life.
So I was just doing some quick,quick research on chat GPT.
Apparently a very smallpercentage of podcasts make it
past the third episode and onlyfive to 10% make it to a
(01:24):
hundred.
So Jared, as I was prepping,I'm like, okay, this is the
century mark.
This is a very specializedepisode, I was like, there is
only one person that reallydeserves to be on this podcast
with me, especially as we talkabout Uncommon Man, and that is
you.
So, Jared Roth, welcome to theshow, and thanks for being my
first Uncommon Man guest.
Jared Roth (01:45):
Hey, my privilege, Kevin.
It's really an honor to be withyou, and you know, so much of
what I have to talk about today,I think of you as probably
being a great exemplar of, sowe're a good team today.
Kevin Tinter (01:57):
Awesome.
Well, that's an honor.
So for those who don'tnecessarily know, you've been
very influential in my life.
You're talked about in my book.
And honestly, a lot of thethings that Beck and I talk
about, especially when it comesto intentional living, the
concept of lifestyle design,these are really things that I
initially learned from you.
So I...
When I was thinking about JaredRoth, one of the first words
(02:22):
that comes to mind isintentional and everything that
you and your wife and did whenyou were leading the church and
just in your business life andin your family life and your
personal life, you were veryintentional about it in a very
very healthy way and reallytaught me that I heard John
Maxwell say probably about eightyears ago I remember where I
(02:44):
was when I heard him say thisand but it's something that you
demonstrated he really taught meis most people accept the life
they were given and very fewchoose to lead the life you
want.
And what I'm excited abouttoday is for people to hear from
one of the people that I thinkis one of the masters of
lifestyle design, being veryintentional about life.
But I just want to share aquick little example of how you
(03:07):
demonstrated intentionality.
Might not even be somethingthat you even remember, but as
the lead co-pastors of EvergreenChurch in Hillsboro, where we
met you about 14 years ago, youand Ann were very intentional to
park in the back 40 of theparking lot.
And your reason was, is thatwas a servant leader way of
(03:30):
leading your church.
I think it's Simon Sinek whowrote the book, Leaders Eat
Last.
And it's a Marine Corps thingas well.
It was one of the things Ilearned in the Marine Corps is
that officers eat after theirtroops.
And that was just a very simpleexample.
But growing up in the Midwest,which is the Bible Belt, which
is honestly a very...
uh, positional leadership wayof doing life where most
(03:52):
churches had pastors parking.
And it was right.
You know, it was the, it wasthe premier parking spot to
have, to, to watch you and, andbe intentional about we're going
to park far away so thateveryone else can park close,
just spoke volumes to me.
So I just want to, uh, to sharethat example with you.
So, uh, friends about, it wasabout 13 years ago that I was
(04:14):
involved in the business ofBeckett started, and we had been
going to Evergreen for about ayear and we had become friends
and you started, was it calledmen at work or, um, Was that,
that was the name of the group,right?
Okay.
I've been a part of a couple ofgroups that had similar name
titles, but it was men at workand it was, man, it was a small
(04:36):
group, three or four of us.
And you invited me to be a partof this group and you played a
huge role in helping me navigatethe transition from being a
police officer, uh, after, youknow, basically 11, 12 years of
being a public servant where Ihad a quote unquote steady
paycheck, you know, governmentbenefits, health insurance and
things like that.
(04:57):
and moving into this world ofbeing self-employed business
owner.
And one of the other uniquethings about you, Jared, that
was I feel like God used it as ahuge blessing in my life was
the fact that you werebivocational.
Once again, not only were youthe first pastor that I met that
intentionally parked far awayfrom the front door, but you
were the first pastor that I metthat was also an entrepreneur
(05:19):
and that was also a businessowner and a business coach.
And I'm so grateful because youused your expertise to really
pour into my life.
So I just want to First of all,say thank you again for the
huge influence you've had in mylife.
So before we get into that, Ijust love real quick.
Give us a little, you know,that Reader's Digest version of
Jared Roth, your life, yourfamily, your education and your
(05:41):
career.
Jared Roth (05:42):
Awesome.
Well, thanks so much.
Hey, I have been very fortunateand Kevin, you've alluded to
it.
I've been able to live a threetrack professional life and
those three tracks haveoverlapped.
Sometimes I've done all three.
sometimes just one, but I havestayed current across my
professional life in all three,vocational minister, university
(06:05):
professor, and business coach.
So Ann and I started a churchwhen we were 23 years of age.
Over the course of the next fewyears, we helped several
hundred churches start in theUnited States.
And for a season, I was theinternational vice president and
then interim president of adenomination with over 60,000
(06:25):
churches.
in 125 countries.
So that's the ministerial sideof my life.
After earning a doctorate inorganization change from
Pepperdine, I directed the MBAprogram at George Fox
University, and I taught coursesin business leadership,
business strategy, and executiveleadership.
And as a business coach, I gotto work with entrepreneurial
(06:49):
business leaders, and everybodyhas their favorite story to
tell, so I'll tell mine.
One of those businesses, when Istarted working with them, was
valued at $500,000, and sevenyears later, a portion of the
business sold to an investor for$44 million.
Wow.
They didn't all have thatexperience, but that's a fun one
to have in the portfolio.
(07:09):
Yeah.
My research interests as anacademic are about emotional
intelligence and the influenceof emotional intelligence,
specific factors in effectiveleadership in different
professions and occupations.
We're a four-generation family.
We are age 11 through 95, andwe play together a lot.
(07:32):
My wife, Ann, and I justcompleted our 50th National Park
in the last two years in ourSprinter Adventure Van.
And we head out internationallyto hike for at least one month
a year as well.
I want to say, however, Kevin,and you know this about me, one
of my mottos is...
(07:54):
You may see me hurry, but youwill never see me harried.
And I've had the privilege ofliving a wonderful, rich,
diverse, at times complex life.
At times I've needed to hurry abit, but I can say that one of
(08:16):
the benefits I've enjoyed frombeing a life architect is that I
do not find myself harried.
Kevin Tinter (08:23):
No, that's so good.
And I think when you look atwhere we're at as a modern
society, I think harried isprobably a description, an
adjective that a lot of peoplemight not even know what it
means.
But if you do know what itmeans, it really describes where
a lot of us are at, you know,where, how you doing?
Probably the most commonresponse is busy.
(08:44):
And it's Sometimes it's a badgeof honor, but honestly, I think
if you really dug into it, mostpeople would say busy and
harried would be how they followup with that.
So, Jared, thank you so muchfor that.
So what initially motivated youto become a life architect?
Jared Roth (09:02):
Well, as a young person and leader, I wanted to
be effective, and part of that'smy faith base.
I'm a follower of Christ, andbeing a steward of my gifts and
callings and being effective inlife and productive is an
important core value for me.
I accessed what was availableat the time.
Remember, Kevin, you know thatI'm old.
(09:22):
So I've had a historic spanhere.
But at the time, timemanagement was a very important
topic.
And Peter Drucker, father ofmodern management, really helped
introduce that idea.
And I was a student of timemanagement, really benefited
from that.
And then I began to realizethat time management had nothing
(09:43):
to do with priorities.
So you could do a lot thatwasn't very important.
Really, the next season thenwas role management.
And the book Seven Habits ofHighly Effective People, which
is still a classic, though it'sbeen around for decades, really
was an introduction to rolemanagement.
(10:04):
Define your life by your majorroles and then build your life
around those roles.
That proved to be life-changingfor me because now I'm really
leaning into the things that areimportant for me to be a
steward of.
And then more recently andwonderfully, what I call life
architecture.
And I think I stumbled acrossthat first of all, Jack, Welsh
(10:28):
who was a famous CEO of GE.
His first statement ofphilosophy was, plan your own
future or someone else will.
Kevin Tinter (10:38):
Yes.
Jared Roth (10:38):
And he was talking about the corporation.
Jim Rome then expanded on thatidea just a little bit and
applied it to life and I quote,if you don't design your own
life plan, chances are you'llfall into someone else's life
plan and guess what?
They have planned for you.
Not much.
Kevin Tinter (10:58):
Isn't that true?
Jared Roth (10:59):
Isn't it?
It really is true.
And so, this idea of respondingto life as it comes my way is
not really noble in my opinionbecause what it says is I will
let everyone and anything elsedetermine for me what I should
do next.
Mm-hmm.
So the idea of lifearchitecture, and I love that.
(11:21):
And as a business coach, I workwith business owners and talk
about architecting theirbusiness.
And life architecture is justan extension of that.
Let's move it from just beyondthe business context with
excellent business planning.
And let's also plan the otherareas of our life with equal
intentionality.
And then let's put all thistogether in a beautiful
(11:43):
architectural life plan thatsays, If I build this out, I
will live the life that I wantto live.
Kevin Tinter (11:51):
That's so good.
I love that analogy.
And it's actually one that Iuse frequently to talk about
building a house because it'ssomething that we've actually
done twice, two very differentscales of homes.
But if you've ever built ahouse, what you realize is you
have a blueprint and you spend alot of time preparing and
planning and talking to people.
(12:13):
There's a lot of work that goesinto building the blueprint
before you even break ground.
And then, you know, if you havea typical experience at some
point, you're going to say, youknow what, we want to change
this.
And it allows you to make achange.
And then you might even have toredo the blueprints.
Sometimes there's just anaddendum or something like that.
(12:34):
But if you try to build a housewithout any blueprint
whatsoever, you're going to endup with a complete mess.
And I think that what I learnedfrom you is that most people
are going through life andthey're trying to build
something, but they have noblueprint for it.
And therefore...
things are happening to theminstead of their instead of you
(12:56):
know they're reacting instead ofresponding because one of the
things that beck and i havelearned is that it doesn't
matter what your plan is for2024 2025 or 2026 or your 5 10
15 20 year plan things are goingto happen and what you we're
hoping for is going to end upbeing different, most likely.
However, having that plan inplace allows you to pivot
(13:18):
strategically and with intentionso that you're still maybe even
further along down the roadthan you anticipated, and maybe
not, but at least you're stillheaded in towards the direction
of what you want instead of justending up with a ramshackle
type of shed.
Jared Roth (13:36):
I think that is so wise.
And yes, I think it's criticalin planning to keep two values
in mind.
And you mentioned one, which isflexibility.
Life happens, and so itrequires flexibility.
And the other one for me, andthis is not everyone's value,
but I wanted to have a life planthat built in times for me to
be able to respond to peoplespontaneously.
(13:59):
So it lacks rigidity.
So it's not only changeableflexibility, but it doesn't feel
rigid to others.
Kevin Tinter (14:10):
Could you give an example of that, Jared?
Jared Roth (14:12):
So, while pastoring, and as you mentioned, I was
doing these two otherprofessional roles as well,
simultaneously.
I wanted the church to alwaysfeel like they had all of my
attention.
They did not.
And they knew that, but Iwanted the feeling to be there.
So I would build into my weeklyplan several pockets of time
(14:37):
that was reserved for beingresponsive to people in the
congregation that wanted to meetwith me.
So they knew that I had a lotof things going.
And so people would kind ofsometimes apologetically say,
hey, I'd love to have coffeewith you sometime.
I know you're very busy, blah,blah.
And I would say, how about nextTuesday at nine?
Or would next Wednesday eveningat six be better?
(14:57):
They were stunned with myavailability, with my apparent
spontaneity, but I could only beavailable and spontaneous
because I had planned for that.
Kevin Tinter (15:08):
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
And I remember many timessaying, hey, are you available
to get together?
And I would say, you know, I...
probably knew more about howmany different things you had
going on than most of the churchmembers.
I would suspect that a lot,unless you actually mentioned it
from stage, probably had noidea that you were bivocational,
which is to your credit becausethere's other people who
(15:32):
they're in a career, whetherit's pastoring or something
else, and they might havesomething else.
And you're like, Are theyreally committed to this?
And that was definitely, yousaid a great example of being
able to do multiple things, butmaking yourself available to
each of those different aspectsof your life so that people
didn't feel like they weregetting cheated.
So that's awesome.
(15:53):
So using the architect image,Jared, what is your foundation
for the life that you'rebuilding?
Jared Roth (16:02):
Well, as a person of faith, I go there first and
foremost.
And we all experience our faithin different ways, and we
interpret the priorities of thatdifferently.
So the foundation that I wouldrecommend for everyone is the
foundation of their faith.
While I'm recognizing thatwe're going to lay foundations
that look different because weare different people with
(16:23):
different callings, withdifferent gifts and different
interests.
And so I recognize that there'ssome diversity there.
You mentioned you and Beccabuilding a couple of homes and
it brought to mind, I grew up ina farmhouse that did not have a
foundation.
Furthermore, it didn't have ablueprint.
In fact, my parents bought thisfarm with this house on it and
(16:48):
the house was supposed to be alarge garage.
And because the garage had apeaked roof, they put an attic
upstairs.
And then as children came intothe family, they started adding
lean-to additions.
So I grew up into a house thatwas one big box with an attic
and lean-to additions.
Later in life, Ann and I boughtthe farm from my parents so
(17:12):
they could move on in aretirement home.
And when I had the placeappraised, the house was
appraised as a negative value.
And I said to the appraiser, Ithink you made a mistake here.
And she said, oh, no, I made nomistake.
That house has to be removed.
Wow.
So I grew up in a house withouta foundation that had lean twos
(17:36):
that functioned well enough forour family to grow up in.
But its value was worth lessthan nothing because it didn't
have a foundation and it wasn'tdesigned with a plan.
Kevin Tinter (17:51):
What a metaphor.
Yeah.
Jared Roth (17:53):
So, I want a life with a foundation.
For mine, my faith is myfoundation.
And the priorities that comeout of that are the points of
focus that are most importantfor me to assure, get built into
the blueprint.
Kevin Tinter (18:07):
Oh, that's so good.
So, once the foundation isclear, what kind of rooms are
needed to advance thispurposeful life?
Jared Roth (18:14):
Yeah, you know, I just had reinforced for me the
importance of being thoughtfulabout building the whole house,
especially from working withbusiness owners, uh, many times
who are so focused on thebusiness that the rest of their
life is neglected and is after.
And so this idea of, um, Ourprofessional life during most of
(18:39):
our life is going to requiremost of our time, energy, and
attention.
We understand that.
But if the other rooms of thatlife aren't attended to equally
well in the planning, eventhough they may not get equal
time and energy, then they aregoing to atrophy for neglect and
our life is going to end upbeing something that is
(19:00):
lopsided.
Part of it is going to bepotentially overdeveloped and
other parts of itunderdeveloped.
So I go back then to thatsecond generation of what I call
time management, which is roleidentification.
And I, for many years, chose toidentify my major roles and
then to say, in this role, howam I going to build it out in a
(19:21):
way that really makes thatrobust and prepares that area of
my contribution for the futureas well.
The professional side of mylife will get undue attention,
energy, and time, but the othersmust be given the attention and
time for them to be nurtured sothat the whole of my life is
(19:46):
has balance to it.
Balance is a word I actuallydon't prefer to use, but I use
it because it's common.
But Kevin, you may recall, Iprefer to use the word harmony.
A musical piece that's writtenwith harmonies, the harmonies
don't dominate the major melody.
but they support it and make itthe piece of beauty that it is.
(20:10):
I think other roles in our lifeare at times harmonies and
they're critical and unlessthey're called out and develop
their atrophy and we end upbeing less purposeful, less
whole and less healthy and as aresult contributing in a more
two-dimensional way to others inlife.
Kevin Tinter (20:28):
That's so good.
So good.
So how do you try to prioritizeyour goals and plans with so
many competing factors, Jared?
Jared Roth (20:37):
Yeah.
Well, when I first did the workof identifying my major roles
in life, the promise was thatprobably most people are going
to be able to identify someplacebetween 25 and 75 roles.
Kevin Tinter (20:55):
Wow.
Jared Roth (20:57):
And then the discipline is to find roles that
were stated more specificallythan they needed to be so that
you can roll some up into onerole.
For example, I have a role ofbeing a father of a daughter and
the father of a son.
I can roll those up and saythat I am a father.
So there's consolidation.
(21:18):
But the most difficult work ofrole identification, if as what
is suggested is I'm going to endup with seven major roles,
roles, I'm going to have toeliminate the majority of the
roles that I've identified thatI have in life to get down to
seven.
That is painful, painful work.
And I'm going to make aconfession.
I'm not proud about this.
(21:39):
I'm just going to describe howpainful this is.
I believe that because Jesussaid our major command in life
is to love God and to love ourneighbor as ourself, that
neighbors must be prettyimportant.
I have never in my good lifehad neighbor as one of my top
seven roles.
Kevin Tinter (22:00):
Wow, that's a good point.
Jared Roth (22:01):
I'm conflicted about that.
I not only think it'simportant, I know it's
important.
But it's that level of painfulparing down to say, at the end
of the day, which are the sevenroles that I will live and die
for and I will pour the majorityof my attention into and
purposefully plan for andnurture, knowing that some other
(22:24):
roles in my life are going tobe spontaneously addressed and
I'll be thrilled when they do,but they are not going to be
intentionally built in thearchitecture of my life.
Kevin Tinter (22:34):
So good.
So good.
So we can't perfectly predictthe future and or can we barely
predict the future.
So how do you make your lifeplan adaptable and fresh?
Jared Roth (22:46):
Yeah.
So I, when I get something thatworks well, I really like to
keep it.
So one of the things that I'vemade myself do is to dump my
good life template every fiveyears.
Kevin Tinter (23:00):
Okay.
Jared Roth (23:02):
And replace it with something that I actually think
and feel will be better once Idiscover it.
So the discipline is not justto require that I change how I
structure, but is also torequire myself that I do the
work and the due diligence andthe research to come up with
something that is fresh, new,and better.
(23:22):
Okay.
And so I require of myselfinnovation and change to a plan
that has worked wonderfully wellfor me.
And I came up on five years atthe end of 2024.
So I knew that I had givenmyself an assignment to come up
(23:43):
with a fresh way of organizingmy life for 2025.
And I'm happy to report to youthat while many elements of the
plan are similar, that becauseof research that I did about
most recent discoveries onwell-being and purpose,
particularly later in life, nowthat I am 70 and retired, that I
(24:05):
think and frame my life indifferent ways.
So first of all, I requiremyself innovation and change in
how I create my blueprint.
Mm-hmm.
The second thing that I dothat's been very, very helpful
is that I require myself that Ihave new goals every year.
So even if the template remainsthe same and roles remain the
same and the values under thoseroles remain the same, the
(24:26):
activities that I'm going to doin pursuing those roles will
change.
And if the goals are differentthan probably the plans to meet
those goals, are different.
I don't throw out everything.
That's not the point.
The point is I require myselfthat there be a freshness every
year about that.
(24:47):
So I have a five year change.
I have a one year freshening.
And then every month I take acouple of hours on a Saturday
morning and it's scheduled inthe calendar.
And I do an audit on how I didthe previous month.
And there are, for example,people, that I have listed.
(25:07):
I have three categories ofrelationships.
I have new, now, and old.
And I have lists of people,short lists, under each of those
each year.
New relationships, the word isinitiate.
Initiate the new, nurture thenow, and sustain the old.
So when I go through my list atthe end of the month, I just
(25:29):
check off which of those peopleI did engage with that previous
month.
And if I didn't, I make anappointment in the following
month so that I willintentionalize what didn't
happen spontaneously the monthbefore.
As we move forward as wellacross the course of the year,
especially as you move through aquarter or second quarter, you
(25:51):
know, life has happened.
And I actually have learned tocelebrate and enjoy going in and
making changes because itindicates that life is dynamic.
The people that I do life withare dynamic.
And this is a tool.
It is not armor that I wear.
The tool serves life and itgives direction and it's an
(26:14):
earth star.
It is simply a tool that isflexible and malleable and
changeable.
And in fact, it wouldn't be auseful tool unless it did
change.
Kevin Tinter (26:24):
It reminds me of the scripture about the Sabbath,
right?
Man was not made for theSabbath, but the Sabbath for
man.
And it's easy for a lot of us,I think, to put some of these
structures in place and theybecome...
we lose focus and it's kind oflike the structure was made for
me, not me for the structure.
And, um, and so that's probablythe other end of the spectrum
(26:45):
for people who don't put anyintentionality into their life
to those who put so much, butthey're not willing to adjust.
So good.
Jared Roth (26:52):
Yeah.
I, Kevin, uh, uh, you happen toknow, um, my wife and we've
been married 47 years.
We met in the eighth grade.
We know each other pretty well.
Yeah.
She doesn't organize life theway I organize it.
She doesn't have a good lifetemplate.
And she is equally intentionalabout life as I.
And we merge life in a way thatmakes it work, in terms of
(27:19):
schedule, rarely withoutconflict.
By the way, we've worked ourway there in 47 years.
But having said that, I'malso...
daily reminded that this is anextension of my personality,
temperament, and preferences,and that other people are
equally intentional and organizethat and communicate that and
(27:41):
audit that in very differentways.
The key is not the tool.
The key is not the strategy.
The key is intentionality.
Kevin Tinter (27:49):
Yes, that's so good because Beck and I are very
similar.
I love spreadsheets.
I literally right here, This ismy life on a page.
I probably should have thatmade into an app or something
like that instead of stillcarrying around a clipboard and
a piece of paper that I printout on the first of every month,
but it works for me.
Becca doesn't care for it.
(28:11):
She thinks it's horribly analretentive, but she's also very
intentional.
So I think that's a greatlesson is that there's not a
right or a wrong way to do this.
The key is how are you beingintentional and then putting it
into a framework that works foryour personality and your
preferences.
That's so good.
Jared Roth (28:30):
I do think the language of construction is very
helpful.
And because it's common to mostof us, I find it helpful
regardless of the methodology.
But to think in terms ofarchitecting one's life,
thinking through what's thishouse to be used for, thinking
through what rooms are going tobe critical, thinking through
how am I going to support eachof those rooms, and then doing
(28:54):
that time, energy audit, andsometimes finances as well.
Time, energy, and money.
And now I have all these grandplans, but I have these three
areas of limitation.
How...
Am I going to find synergybetween these and how am I going
to eliminate some of my goalsfor this year that may have to
go later because I don't havethe capacity?
Kevin Tinter (29:14):
That's so good.
So good.
All right.
So, just a couple of extraquestions for you as we wind
things down here.
What advice do you have for allof us regarding associations
and seeking out mentorship?
Jared Roth (29:30):
I have very few regrets, Kevin.
I'm fortunate in life and I'malso not wired to live in the
past.
So I'm blessed with selectiveamnesia.
Having said that, my majorregret, and it is so far in
first place that I don't evenknow what's in second place, is
(29:52):
that as an independently wiredhuman, that I did not access
wisdom all around me morefrequently and more broadly.
I simply didn't access it.
I'm a reader, and so as avoracious reader, I gained
(30:12):
tremendous information byreading.
But God blessed me with humansaround me and formal and
informal learning opportunitiesthat had I accessed would have
dramatically accelerated mypurposefulness success and
productivity in life.
I wish that I, when I wasespecially given new
(30:36):
opportunities or faced newchallenges, that my first
thought would have been, who isit in my life that I could reach
out to to get a perspective onthis?
As a business coach, I am ahuge, huge fan in the coaching
model.
For a period of my life, Iworked as a consultant.
(30:57):
I liked the work that I did,but we ended up at the end of a
consultation with excellentproblem identification, solution
identification, and plans toimplement, and those were
essentially never implemented.
The coaching relationship,which is ongoing and provides
support and accountability andhuman touch, is critical.
(31:18):
I now have coaches in my life.
I wish years ago that I wouldhave engaged people speaking
into my life in a coachingcontext.
I think it is the mostpowerful, transformational,
human context that we haveaccess to.
And now we have such scienceand understanding about the
(31:42):
psychology and the sociology ofcoaching as well.
When I read the scripture, Isee that it's Jesus model, and I
don't know why I didn't readcoaching when I read through the
New Testament from start toend.
That is, in my opinion, theroad to accelerated success and
personal transformation.
Kevin Tinter (32:03):
That's so good.
My last question for you is,and I realize you're in a new
season of life than when we met14 years ago, but what do you
look for or what do you thinkgreat mentors like yourself are
looking for when they'reconsidering investing in someone
by mentoring them?
Jared Roth (32:25):
For me, I want to be a match in terms of what I have
to contribute.
And so this is a humbleapproach to say, I want to help
you.
I hope that I can help you, butI may not be the most helpful
for you.
And much of my interviewing ofa candidate for mentoring is
(32:49):
around whether or not I'm a fitfor them.
I don't think that they wouldbe reaching out if they weren't
sincere.
So I'm wanting to serve themthe best with the best referral.
And many times I find myselfmaking referrals because while I
have the skills to lead througha coaching process or a
mentoring process, others may bebetter suited for them.
(33:12):
The second thing that I lookfor is I'm going to use the word
diligence.
What I mean is You giveyourself an assignment one week
and you do it.
I won't work with people thatdon't do the work.
And as a business coach, Iremember the first client that I
(33:35):
fired because he wouldn't dothe homework.
He could afford what I thoughtwas a substantial monthly fee
and he didn't mind paying itbecause he enjoyed our
friendship.
But I fired him because hewouldn't do the work.
And what I said to him is, It'sa disservice to you for us to
(33:57):
call what has become afriendship, a coaching
relationship.
It's a disservice to yourbusiness and your employees that
you're not making progress.
And it is a disservice to mebecause I find fulfillment and
satisfaction from being a giftin someone's life that is making
a transformational difference.
So I need to be the right fitfor you and you need to do the
(34:19):
work to change.
Kevin Tinter (34:20):
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
Well, Jared, there's a sayingthat says, and I don't remember
who's credited with this, butyou can count the seeds in an
apple, but you can't count theapples in a seed.
And I would just say that yourinfluence on my life and on
Becca's life getting choked upis like that.
(34:40):
We've been blessed to have animpact in the lives of a lot of
people.
And I don't say that to brag.
But when I look back where wewere, 14 years ago in just a
couple months, our life was verydifferent.
We were on a differenttrajectory, had different
priorities.
(35:01):
We were much more, you know,just going through life.
We didn't have that blueprint.
And you, you know, the Lordused, you know, us moving to the
church you were pastoring andjust, you know, you identifying
something in us that made youwilling to invest in us.
But I, you know, I think one ofthe things that I look most
(35:23):
forward to in heaven is Ibelieve that we'll get a glimpse
of all the impact that we'vehad, that we don't even know
that we've had.
And I know that when you'rethere, there's going to be
people that Beck and I hadimpact, but they're part of the
ripple effect that you had inour lives.
So thank you so much for yourtime today.
(35:43):
I value it immensely.
I have tremendous respect andlove for you.
You've been just a hugeinfluence in my life, you and
Anne both.
And I'm so grateful for you.
I could, gosh, I could talk toyou about this kind of stuff
every month.
We could just do an UncommonMan, Jared Roth series and
probably go on for a couple ofyears.
But I'm so grateful for you.
(36:05):
And it's so great to catch up.
And I hope that our listenershave caught just a fraction of
what I have from you over theyears.
And thank you so much.
Jared Roth (36:17):
You're welcome.
My pleasure.
Kevin Tinter (36:18):
All right.
Thank you, friends.
I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
Stay tuned.
I can't promise that they'reall going to be as good as this
one, but they will be close.
So have a wonderful day.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.