August 15, 2024 • 41 mins
Are you ready to transform your life and work through the power of daily breakthroughs as a couple? In this episode, Kevin and Bekah sit down with Kyle and Ariel Tresch, the dynamic duo behind Couplepreneurs, to explore practical strategies for cultivating a breakthrough mindset for couples in business.
Drawing from their extensive coaching experience, Kyle and Ariel share their innovative approach to personal and professional growth for couples, including:
- The concept of energy styles and how to leverage them in your business
- The power of couple competence in creating a magnetic power couple
- Strategies for maintaining passion and intimacy while managing a business
- The importance of clear boundaries and communication in couple entrepreneurship
We discuss the misconception that working together will automatically improve your relationship and how to start recognizing and leveraging breakthrough opportunities in your daily life as a couple. Kyle and Ariel also share insights on overcoming limiting beliefs, the power of self-worth, and how to structure your life for consistent growth as a couple in business.
Whether you're an entrepreneur couple, a leader, or someone looking to unlock your full potential with your partner, this episode offers valuable insights on how to make breakthroughs a regular part of your personal and professional journey. Join us to learn how to cultivate a mindset that turns everyday moments into opportunities for significant growth and achievement as a couple!
Connect with the couplepreneur community through @couplepreneurs on Instagram or the "Successful Couples in Business" Facebook group. Uncover new techniques for keeping the romance alive, such as transitioning from work mode to romance mode with creative activities like a "treasure hunt." Join us for an episode filled with humor, honesty, and actionable tips to help entrepreneurial couples thrive together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Okay, welcome back to the Uncommon Freedom Podcast.
Today, we're thrilled to haveKyle and Ariel Tresh with us.
This is the dynamic duo behindCouplepreneurs, and they have
not only skilled businesses toincredible heights, but also
navigated the complexities ofmaintaining a thriving marriage.
Kyle and Ariel, thank you somuch for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Thanks for having us guys.
We're excited to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, thank you so much, and we're very excited to
share a lot of new discoveriesthat we've personally
experienced and seen ourselvesin the world of
couplepreneurship, and I justthink that, in a world based on
everything that is happeningright now, the conversation
we're about to have is going tounify a lot of marriages and
potentially even build somebusinesses as well.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Awesome, I love it.
So real quick, tell us how longhave you been married and how
did the two of you meet.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So I'll start with um .
We've been married for fouryears now five years, five years
, goodness she.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
She forgot it was so good.
She was like man.
It's faster than I even thought.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We were together for a long time.
We were together for a longtime before we got married, so
we've been together for almost12 years now.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
That's right, and how we kind of knew each other is
we got together in middle school, believe it or not.
So we dated for a couple ofmonths, believe it or not.
She actually broke up with meand I know, isn't that crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
In middle school.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
But you know, when you go through that like 14 year
old Once or twice, or yeah, youget it.
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, but what actually broughtus back together later on in
life is the shared entrepreneurdreams that we both had.
We were both separateentrepreneurs, we both grew
separate businesses, and thatled to a lot of what we did
today, after having to navigateso many complex challenges in
(01:45):
the process.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
And you're currently in South Florida.
Is that where you both grew up,or where'd you grow up?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
No.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah.
So we both kind of came frompretty humble beginnings.
We grew up in a very small townin Ohio, kind of surrounded by
cornfields, and we actuallydated for again a while before
we actually ended up gettingmarried.
And we actually dated for againa while before we actually
ended up getting married.
But by the blessing of ourentrepreneurial journeys, we
were able to not only self-funda dream wedding in the Bahamas
which was amazing but with thatsaid, we also both were
(02:15):
entrepreneurial.
We both experienced some prettyintense challenges at that
stage of our life.
So, I'm sure we'll get into itas we talk in the online.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
But now we live in beautiful Jupiter Florida and I
got to tell you we're not goingback to the snowy cold, frigid
air of.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Ohio, I promise.
So Beck and I we met in Ohio.
I was born and raised in thesuburbs of Cleveland, so also
from Ohio as well.
What city were you guys from?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh my goodness, we're probably like very close
neighbors.
So we grew up in medina oh mygosh, no way, that's where my
parents live.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That's where we met.
So what a crazy small world.
Yeah, I knew you guys were cool, so the real question is are
you buckeye fans?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
oh for sure, I think everybody's ohio is a buckeyeye.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
O-H.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
I-O.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, I went to Highland High School, so I'm
probably older than you guys.
But, yes, grew up in Hinkleyand went to Highland High School
and so, yeah, we met in collegebut we've been married for 25
years, so almost 26.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
That is crazy.
Normally when we say we're fromOhio, we don't even clarify.
You know, a mix between asuburb and some country town
where, like the Medina Countyfair was like a holiday.
But it's so cool to hear thatyou guys come from a similar
background and, just like us,you guys move to a warmer
climate and you know, I'm sureentrepreneurship is a huge part
(03:40):
of that right.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Well, absolutely, and we tell people Cleveland or
Ohio is a great place to be fromand a great place to visit.
Granted, if we had to, we couldlive there, but we love having
the freedom thatentrepreneurship offers us to be
in a sunny and warm climate.
So cool, very cool.
Well, hey, I know we'll have totalk more about that kind of
(04:03):
stuff online.
I'm sure we have some sharedspheres of influences and things
like that will be fun toconnect about.
But share just a little bitabout your journey to
entrepreneurship.
What really inspired you guysto create and become
couplepreneurs, and how has yourpersonal experience shaped the
mission of your company?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, so I can start with.
So again, we were bothentrepreneurs when we were
dating in the very early years.
And I remember when we gotmarried we thought because we
were both entrepreneurial and,like you said, we had the
freedom, we had the all theseamazing things that
entrepreneurship brings thatwhen we got married things would
only get better from there.
Right, we thought, you know,we're both entrepreneurial,
we're both driven, things aregoing to be great.
(04:42):
But in fact that's actuallyright after we got married.
That's where we experiencedsome of the biggest hardship in
our relationship and in ourbusinesses, because there was a
pretty big tension point wherethere was so much chaos
happening in our life.
You know, we got married, wedidn't really have a honeymoon,
we jumped right back into ourbusinesses and because of that
we were so busy that we reachedthis tension point where Kyle
(05:04):
sort of thought the solution tothe chaos that we were
experiencing was for me to justbe his assistant.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, and that didn't quite work out the way that I
thought it would.
And you know, as you guys cantell, probably by everyone yeah,
that's exactly, and you knowwhat we were experiencing at the
time.
We call it the anti-h, the antihoneymoon stage, because
instead of a honeymoon stage, weexperienced the hardest time of
our entire relationship and atthe time we didn't know that so
(05:32):
many other entrepreneur couplesgo through these same things.
We had to navigate, figuringout okay, if we're both running
businesses or we're bothinvolved in growing a business,
who's going to be responsiblefor the household tasks, who's
going to be responsible for theerrands, the chores, whose time
is more valuable or AKA, lessvaluable, to then dedicate
towards other things?
In addition to that, we also hadto navigate not only the
(05:53):
complexities of business, buttalking about business 24 seven,
as I'm sure so many of yourlisteners would know, will
actually create a lot ofrelationship tension.
Why?
Because we're not just businesspartners, we're also romantic
and married partners as well.
But what would happen is isthat our schedule would fill up
and as our schedule filled up,our intimacy went down.
And as our intimacy went down,our income from our business was
(06:15):
completely capped.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
So we're sitting there looking around, going what
?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
did we just get ourselves into?
Oh my gosh.
And yes, like Ariel said, Ithought the solution was to just
have Ariel come alongside me inmy business.
I had a digital marketingconsulting business.
We were working behind thescenes, helping companies grow
and scale by tens of millions ofdollars.
So I was like Ariel instead ofyou having an organic marketing
coaching business like you have,why don't you just come
alongside me?
You can be my assistant andlike we're just going to do
(06:42):
amazing things.
But what would happen is is thatevery time I tried to kind of
force her into that, she onlyhad more resistance towards it,
and I didn't realize it at thetime.
But I was kind of taking thewrong path.
And I remember the day thatchanged everything for us was a
day where I just got in a guestroom of our house, literally on
(07:02):
my hands and knees, praying outto God, just asking him for an
answer.
Because at this point, like somany other entrepreneur couples,
I felt like we were at a forkin the road and there were two
sucky options Either sucky.
Option number one we sacrificeour business dreams for our
marriage.
But that wasn't going to work.
We were both fall toentrepreneurship, so I didn't
want to do that.
(07:22):
And then option number two likeso many successful
entrepreneurs, they willsometimes choose to sacrifice
their marriage for theirbusiness, and we knew without a
shadow of a doubt that that wasnot going to be our choice.
So what do you do then?
So I remember just praying outto God, and I got out for my
prayer and I did what absolutelynobody should do when they're
looking for answers, and that isI got on social media and on
(07:44):
social media.
What happened was this I saw alive video that area was doing
coaching other women that shewas coaching in her business,
and in that live video therewere comments from women all
over the world telling her thankyou, thank you so much for
showing up and sharing theinformation that God gave you.
And I remember that day.
It was like the scales fellfrom my eyes because I ran out
(08:05):
of the bedroom.
I found her after she was donewith her video and I said hey, I
am so sorry for trying to putyou into a box that you're not
designed for.
I recognize that you're anentrepreneur, I'm an
entrepreneur.
So, instead of us trying toconform to what each other wants
, what would happen if we tookour individual passions and
pointed them towards a unifiedpurpose?
And that question literallychanged our entire life, because
(08:28):
, even though there wasn't aroadmap at the time, we decided
to test out some new systems,new strategies, new approaches
to life, to prioritizing ourintimacy and working better
together so that way we canactually grow businesses.
And here's the crazy thing thathappened as soon as we started
doing.
That didn't happen overnight,but over time.
The more we prioritize eachother and the more that we
(08:49):
prioritize growing well togetherand creating a vision that
doesn't require sacrifice orcompromise between us.
Our revenue levels actuallyjust completely skyrocketed.
We've made more money in ourbusinesses than ever before,
while going on more date nightsthan ever before, and you guys
know how like if you go on adate night and you don't post
about it on social media.
It didn't really happen.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's kind of like.
It's kind of like pole plungingor going to the gym you always
know who does it because they'regoing to post about it.
You know what I'm saying.
So this is what we starteddoing.
We just started going on datenights and doing fun things and
posting it, posting about it onsocial media.
And what happened was that,over the years, people started
reaching out to us saying Kyleand Ariel, how in the world do
(09:32):
you guys grow businesses withoutwanting to kill each other,
without wanting to like, like,just end it all and like.
We got some crazy responses andwhat we did is we said okay,
maybe this is a calling here.
Maybe there's an opportunityhere for us to take our combined
skill set with over a decade ofmarketing experience, combine
that with figuring out how tonavigate our working dynamic and
(09:54):
put it together to create acoaching program that helps
entrepreneur couples.
And since that decision, welaunched that company in 2022,
and it was almost a instantsuccess.
So fast forward to today.
During the time of thisrecording, we have since built
what we believe is the fastestgrowing and largest community of
entrepreneur couples on theplanet, and inside of our
coaching community, we havehelped couples apply what works
(10:17):
with how they work as a coupleand, as a result, we've seen
some insane results.
We've seen couples that arestarting brand new businesses,
quitting full-time jobs, couplesthat have done anywhere from
$50,000 a month to $100,000 amonth to $300,000 a month, all
the way up to $2 million a monthall from the strategists that
we teach.
And as we're doing this, we'reseeing the fruit in our lives to
(10:39):
confirm that this was thecalling that God had for us all
along.
We just didn't know it, becauseit showed up and it looked like
a lot of chaos to start.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
That's really beautiful.
And then, obviously, the senseof peace that comes when you
realize you're rowing the samedirection, not trying to divide
and conquer your dreams.
You can divide and conquer yourtasks, but you really can't
divide and conquer your dreams.
And when people are functioningoutside of their giftings to
your point when you were talkingto Ariel about pivoting like we
know that, there just wouldn'tbe a sense of fulfillment.
(11:09):
And you can do things like thatfor seasons I mean, we've all
had jobs we did not love butwhen you're at the place in your
life where you're ready for thepassion and you've had it,
pivoting outside of thatdefinitely creates, I would
think, like a cognitivedissonance.
And so it sounds like you guysreally came up with a pretty
(11:31):
amazing solution, or God came upwith it for you, which is
amazing.
So you mentioned pioneering anew way to divide up your roles
in your business and your lifeas an entrepreneurial couple.
Can you elaborate a little biton the approach and some of the
practical things for couplesthat are struggling with finding
balance?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So I think one of the first things that was the most
helpful for us is really likeBeck, I think you said earlier
getting clear on what the visionwas that we both wanted.
So that was the first piece.
But once we got clear on likethe vision, we were like we did
what we call a vision date.
Right when we sat down wedetermined what is it that we
want one of out of our life,what do we want it to look like
from a business perspective,from a lifestyle perspective,
(12:04):
and then what type of revenue isactually required to fuel the
dreams that we have?
So we kind of started with,okay, what's the mission that we
have?
How can we both make it areality?
But once we got to that point,that's where we started to
realize, okay, we have to figureout who's doing what, because a
lot of our attention came backto, if we're both in business
together but we also run a lifetogether, there's a lot of
different responsibilities thatare being balanced in that, and
(12:27):
so we had a lot of people from abusiness perspective tell us
okay, if you're going to divvyup roles, just divvy up by
strengths, right, just look atwhat Kyle's good at, what
Ariel's good at, and let's justdivide up that way and it makes
sense to a degree.
But what we actually found wasthat it wasn't really the whole
picture and what happens whenyou overlap in roles or
(12:49):
strengths and what happens whenthere's gaps in your strengths
and what do you do from there.
So we actually had aninteresting experience where
Kyle actually went up to Ohio.
He left our house in Floridaand went up to visit family in
Ohio, and at this time I justdecided to stay home in Florida
and went up to visit family inOhio, and for at this time I
just decided to stay home inFlorida and when he was gone I
(13:09):
got so much more done than whenhe was home.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Talk about a little bit of an ego check there.
Huh yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Kyle came back from Ohio and he's like you, you did
all these things.
This is amazing.
Why?
Why were you able to get somuch more done?
And we were actually at OliveGarden at this time, and I'll
let you kind of yeah, becauseyou know when you come back
after not seeing your spouse.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
The most romantic place to go in the world is
Olive Garden.
We all know this right.
So as we're sitting there justeating some breadsticks, I was
talking to Ariel about this andwhat we recognized in that
moment, it was like a light whenAriel was allowed and able to,
just completely free to work inthe way that her natural energy
(13:54):
allows her to work.
We were able to get so muchmore done than even when we were
trying to accomplish taskstogether.
And the light bulb went off inmy mind while the breadsticks
were in my mouth and Irecognized in that moment wait a
second, what if we didn'tdivide up tasks by departments
or strengths?
What if we divided them up byenergy styles and we've since
kind of coined this term and anenergy style is simply the
(14:17):
working dynamic that you, as anindividual, work best in.
So, for example, anybodylistening, think about your
partner right now.
Think about are they a morningperson or a night person?
Are they extroverted or arethey introverted?
Do they like to accomplish veryquick hit tasks or do they
prefer the tasks where you couldfocus on one thing for maybe a
(14:37):
week or even a month, and basedon what types of tasks give them
the most energy?
Then you can actually divide uptasks by that.
So now what we started to do iswe started to have a few
different tasks across all ofthe different departments even
with some of the team that wehave and we started dividing up
tasks by energy style and itunlocked so much more
(15:00):
productivity, not just for us,but for so many couples that
we've taught this to.
So that's kind of like a littlesecret and something that
everybody listening can applyright away If you can think
about what gives you the mostenergy and what gives your
significant other the mostenergy.
you divide up tasks by that way.
Just watch what happens, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
The last thing I'll say, too, is we also hired out
things within the household.
To give us back time and notonly the business, but also time
.
You know presence and capacityfor each other as a couple as
well.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Yeah, we love that concept of delegating,
especially things you don'tenjoy.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So and that's why when you stay up super late, you
know getting emails done.
I mean, I'm an early to bed,early morning person and
sometimes I'll be like wherewere you last night?
And he'll be like oh man, I wasworking until one or two in the
morning and he gets throughtons of emails, gets lots of
things done and you're justreally a lot more productive
that time of night.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
If I didn't have kids , I could go to bed at 2 am
every day, but unfortunately Doyou guys have kids?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
We do not, no.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
We do not, but pretty much every single one of our
clients do, and what they loveis that because we have such an
extensive business background,we're able to take what works
for CEOs that manage thecomplexities of like 40 plus
teams and a lot of times, amanage the complexities of like
40 plus teams, and a lot oftimes, a lot of that can
translate to parenting as well,even though, of course, we're
not parents.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
we can't necessarily say but at least that's what
clients are doing, absolutelyGreat.
Well, you kind of touched onthis, but obviously many couples
face challenges when they havedifferent personalities or
working styles.
We've experienced this in ourown marriage.
How have you managed to worktogether efficiently despite
these differences and you kindof touched on it.
But maybe go into a little moredetail and what advice would
you give to other couples insimilar situations, like how do
(16:36):
they identify their energystyles and how would you?
What's the next step for people?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, well, I think it all starts with a little bit
of a paradigm shift that hasbeen helpful for us and so many
other entrepreneur couples we'vetalked to, and that paradigm
shift is this a lot of times,the same things that will drive
us the most crazy about ourspouse are actually the same
qualities and characteristicsand strengths that are blessings
to have in business andactually just blessings to have
(17:04):
in general.
So a lot of times where there'srelationship tension,
especially with coupleurs, it'swhen they don't first recognize
the fact that Ariel is more,let's say, organized, diligent,
left-brained, very, verypersistent and a more
right-brained, creative,fast-moving, quick.
(17:25):
That can create somerelationship tension.
Or those could be the keyingredients that you combine to
make the best of these mosteffective business decisions
that you could ever come to.
So really, for us, that's whereit starts.
It starts with receiving thegift that it actually is and
opening the gifts and havinggratitude for the gift.
That is your partner'sperspective.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, one thing I'll add to that too is I read this
term a long time ago and I wishI could give credit to the
person because I don't remember,but it's this term of
ecosystems and it's like howeverything works together as a
whole, and so, for example, someof the things that may drive me
the most crazy about Kyle arealso simultaneously the things
that I love the most.
So, for example, you know, kyledoes this thing and I joke all
(18:07):
the time but he leaves hiscabinets open in the kitchen,
like he'll open the cabinet andthen just leave it open, and it
used to drive me so nuts until Irealized that the reason he
left that cabinet open isbecause he probably got an
inspired idea that he had to gotake action on, and just that
create creative brain just ledhim somewhere else, and that's
part of the reason that I fellin love with him to begin with.
So when I can see that likecreative, like fast moving part
(18:31):
of him yes, sometimes leaves alittle chaos, but is also
simultaneously the thing that Ilove most and the thing that
allows us to work so welltogether, I have so much more of
an appreciation for it Now withthat foundation laid let's
assume everybody just has somuch appreciation for their
spouse and how different theyare.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
With that foundation laid, like you asked, the next
best step is to identify whatyour unique energy styles are,
and we did touch on it a littlebit and of course, there's a
very extensive kind ofassessment that we do for our
clients that goes into this indepth.
But I can give you a couplemore questions that anybody
listening can just ask yourselfto start really moving forward
(19:07):
towards identifying what yourenergy style is.
We covered a couple of them.
When do you like to work?
When do you have the mostenergy throughout the day?
Is it the morning, is it theafternoon or is it night?
And if you can set up aschedule that allows you to
flourish in that time period,that's just a natural advantage.
You have right out of the gatewho is more extroverted and who
is more introverted, and that'sreally helpful, because business
(19:27):
requires both extroverted tasksas well as introverted tasks.
Who loves long range projectsand who loves short range
projects?
I'll give you a perfect exampleof this.
So when we did this, we figuredout that Ariel is the type of
person my wife who can work onone thing for an entire month
without shifting, and that wouldbe her happy place.
(19:49):
To me, that would be absolutelyterrible.
I would hate that so much tojust focus on one thing.
So here's what we did.
When we look at our to-do listevery single day, we determine
the tasks that will move thebusiness forward.
We assign a timeline to thosetasks and, based on who prefers
long-range projects versusshort-range tasks, we divide up
things that way.
So my to-do list for the daymight look like 30 tasks long
(20:16):
and Ariel might look like two,but collectively we were able to
accomplish more than theaverage solopreneur, because we
are covering so much ground inthe ways that God gave us and
the gifts that he gave us tonaturally be wired to accomplish
such tasks.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
So, to give an example, a long range project
that I typically handle may looklike planning an event, because
that's a big thing that's notgoing to be done in a day.
But Kyle may handle, like youknow, meeting with a team member
or doing something that's moreof a quick hit sort of task.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, so I'll manage all of our team members and the
agencies that work with us.
On Slack I'll answer most ofthe client questions.
I will create a lot of theoutlines and create a lot of the
trainings.
While I'm doing all of thosethings, ariel is usually
forecasting for the future,planning events and planning
very bigger project orientedthings.
So I think that those are justa few things that anybody can
(21:00):
apply right away to startworking in your preferred energy
styles.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I love that.
And what I heard you guyssaying at the beginning too,
when you kind of set this up,was you know you're going into
it with a growth mindset oryou're shifting to a growth
mindset.
So many couples have fixedmindsets, and what we talk about
two things when it comes tomarriage is we talk about, you
know, intent versus perception,and so when you can shift to
that, you see things differentlyfor your spouse, which is also
your coworker in many cases here.
(21:26):
And the other thing is you knowthere's the facts and then the
story that we tell ourselves.
And so often when we haveconflict in business or marriage
or relationships, it's becauseyou know there is a fact but we
tell ourselves a story about it.
And what I heard you guys sayingis you went back to kind of
processing it factually to solvethe problem, and then you
didn't just solve the problemdownstream, but you really went
upstream to figure out okay, nowhow do we work in our genius,
(21:49):
versus just fixing the problemevery time it comes back up
again.
So I think that creates a lotof peace in a working
environment and it definitelygives you a chance to have a
more enjoyable and impactfulbusiness, which is really cool.
Do you guys work with coupleswho have the same business?
They're working the samebusiness together.
They each have a separatebusiness or both.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Typically both.
We see a lot of couples thatare in business together.
Kyle and I own separatebusinesses for many years and
we've also been in businesstogether.
So we do a little bit of bothbecause we think there are some
minor differences.
But there's also so muchoverlap.
When you're bothentrepreneurial, you're both
driven, you're both sometimesstrong personalities.
There's a lot of overlap in howthose dynamics show up.
(22:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
And even if anybody was going to look at our website
or check out some of thesuccess stories for our clients.
There are examples of some thatwork together in one business,
some that own separatebusinesses and some that
actually got together to offer abrand new business to the world
and we're able to scale that toover six figures in just a few
months.
(22:55):
So we we've kind of just beenable to combine the marketing
experience and the businessgrowth experience that we've
been so blessed to have with thecouple.
Dynamic and really thatcombination, at least for what
we've seen, has been kind of thesecret sauce Cause, as you guys
know, I'm sure, and everybodylistening if you can combine
what works with how you work asa couple, that's like that
(23:15):
unlocks a superpower ascouplepreneurs.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, that's good, and I mean we've talked from the
opposite side that you knowworking together in business can
make a good marriage and youhave a saying for that.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Being in business together is a good marriage and
you have a saying for that.
Being in business together islike having kids.
You don't have kids If you'vegot a bad marriage.
Having kids to make yourmarriage better is a horrible
idea.
Kids make a strong marriagestronger and a poor marriage or
a weak marriage weaker.
And in our experience, businessdoes the same thing.
If you've got a strong marriage, you're going to have some
challenges to fight through, butultimately it's going to create
(23:49):
a lot of intimacy and it'sgoing to make strong marriage
stronger.
But if you have a weak marriage, going into business together
is just going to reveal all ofthe cracks in that relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yeah, and it sounds like you guys really help people
through that.
So that's amazing because,again, we don't want to see
marriages go by the wayside forthe sake of business, but when
people work together they canmake a massive impact.
So, in the hustle of growingmultiple businesses, how do you
ensure you free up quality timefor each other, family and
personal wellbeing, and arethere specific strategies or
routines that have beenparticularly effective for you
(24:21):
guys?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
So I would say, in terms of how we are able to free
up time, a lot of it just comesdown to having clear boundaries
around what our schedule lookslike and around our touch points
together.
So, to give a couple ofspecific strategies, we have two
different touch points that weteach a lot of our clients.
So the first is what we callstrategy meeting, and this
(24:46):
weekly strategy meeting allowsus to essentially look at the
week ahead and determine what'shappening throughout the week.
What am I needed for?
What is Kyle needed for?
When do we need to cometogether those types of things
and when we have that, it allowsus to not be taken by surprise
when a day comes and suddenlyit's like, hey, we had a meeting
at this time.
You need to stop what you'redoing and come join this meeting
.
So it allows us to kind of planfor the week ahead.
(25:07):
So that's a weekly strategymeeting.
Now we also do daily check-inmeetings, and these daily
check-in meetings are muchshorter meetings where we're
able to take what we talkedabout on our weekly strategy
meeting and just look at the dayand go okay, this is what we
planned for today, this is whatwe expect to be happening.
Is this still accurate?
Did anything else come up?
Is there anything that we needto account for?
It allows us to just get on thesame page every day, because
(25:30):
what we find is the biggestissues with couples in general,
but I would also say couples inbusiness is when there's unmet
expectations and when it feelslike life is happening to them
versus them happening to theirlife and planning their life in
advance, planning their life inadvance.
So, for us, what allows us tojust really create time as a
couple is create thosecontainers and those boundaries
(25:51):
for it, but then have thestructure of the weekly meeting
and the daily check-in meetingsto make sure that those things
actually happen and actuallystay in place.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, and for anybody listening, one of the best
questions that Ariel and Iapplied to our life, to really
separate work life and time forus to be present as a romantic
couple, is this simple questionwhen does work start and when
does work stop?
Yes, after thousands andthousands of conversations with
entrepreneur couples, if we cananswer that one question and we
(26:19):
can agree on it as a couple,what that does is that sets the
groundwork and the foundationfor us to know this is when
we're working and this is whenwe're not working.
So what this allows us to do iswhen we're working, we can be
fully present and maximizing thegifts that God gave us in our
work.
But when it's time to not beworking, we can be fully present
and maximize the time thatwe're blessed to have together
(26:40):
without feeling like I shouldhave responded to more emails, I
should have done more work inthe business, I should have
replied to the Slack messagesand vice versa.
There are so many people thatkind of operate the gray zone
when, while they're working,they think, man, I wish I was
spending more time with familyand while they're with family,
they're like man, I wish I wasworking.
And really the answer to thatquestion will solve all of that,
(27:03):
at least to start, which isagain when does work start and
when does work stop?
And then when work stops?
We've also applied sometechniques to transition from
work mode into romance mode, oneof them being when you're with
your spouse and you are on adate night or you're trying to
be present, you can make it yourmission to go on what we call a
(27:23):
treasure hunt, and thattreasure hunt is basically your
job, should you choose to accept.
It is to ask your spousequestions to find out
information about them thatyou've never heard before, and
what that does, especially forentrepreneurs.
You're using the creativecapacity of your brain to focus
on digging out treasure fromyour significant other.
And I promise you, after beingwith Ariel for over 11 years, at
(27:45):
this point, every single weekwhen we go on our date night
Ariel for over 11 years, at thispoint, every single week when
we go on our date night, I findout something new about her.
So that alone can immediatelyshift anybody's mind from work
mode into romance mode.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, so it's one thing to obviously have the
schedule, it's another thing toactually make sure that you're
present in the differentcontainers in which you've set
up.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Exactly that's good, excellent, you guys All right.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
So you guys talk about becoming a magnetic power
couple.
It sounds awesome.
What does that mean to you, andhow can other entrepreneurial
couples cultivate that type ofdynamic in their professional
and personal lives?
Sounds like an awesome term.
Let's make it a reality.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
So, for anybody listening,think of a couple that walks
into a room and they immediatelyget everybody else's attention.
I'm sure we've all noticed acouple that walks into a room
and they immediately geteverybody else's attention.
I'm sure we've all noticed acouple that does that.
And then ask yourself why isthat the case?
What is it about that couplethat usually draws attention
(28:43):
with some of today's mostsuccessful and influential power
couples in business is that ofthe top, most successful and
most impactful business ownersthat run businesses as a couple.
They all have one key trait thatleads to this magnetism, and
that's something we call coupleconfidence, and what I mean by
this is a lot of times, personaldevelopment will tout the
(29:07):
importance of self-confidence,which essentially, if you break
down that word, the word confidemeans to trust.
So if you have self-confidence,that basically means that you
can trust yourself to do whatyou say you're going to do.
But how this applies towardscouples is if I can trust Aria
and she can trust me and we cantrust each other's word.
(29:27):
We have so much confidence andtrust in each other that shows
up as a magnetic influence foranybody that we walk or anybody
that we have the opportunity toimpact.
So a lot of times in thisparticular case, when we use the
term power couple, we're nottalking about just like a flashy
celebrity couple.
What we're truly talking aboutis a couple that trusts each
(29:49):
other, they have confidence ineach other and they empower each
other and others around them,and I believe that in today's
day and age, if more powercouples were couples that
actually empowered each otherand empowered others, then we
would actually have a muchgreater world to live in.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow, I love that because I agree that it makes
being a couple so attractionaland it does show something
different than I think the worldshows.
So, way to like, figure out,figure out that gifting and also
to figure out a term for it,because when you said magnetic,
I definitely had other thingsgoing through my head, but once
you described it I was like,absolutely, that's something
(30:26):
that I would want to be knownfor and I would want to be drawn
to those kinds of people, so Ilove that.
Okay, so we're going to talkabout passion and intimacy One
of our favorite topics.
But keeping passion andintimacy alive can be
challenging, especially whenbusiness demands are high.
So how do you guys maintainyour connection and keep the
romance alive while stillmanaging your business?
You obviously talked aboutweekly date nights, which are
(30:48):
massively important, and mostpeople put those aside.
So, other than prioritizing, ormaybe in addition to that, how
do you keep the romance alive?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, so one of the biggest I don't want to call it
faux pas, but one of the thingsthat's very big in the industry
right now, the online kind ofdigital industry space is this
concept of masculine andfeminine polarity.
I don't know if you guys haveyou ever heard of that term.
Okay, so, generally there'sthis concept.
(31:17):
Actually, I may let you defineit, because I think you're
better at defining it.
Yeah, so what we're going?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
to do is we're going to define a very, very popular
phrase and very popular topicthat is touted by the world,
that every most people agreewith but we actually disagree
with.
So there, there, there you go.
There's the too long to breathe, and I'll tell you why.
So masculine and femininepolarity goes as follows the
concept is is that there's amasculine energy in the world
which is a driving, protectivego energy.
(31:42):
Then you also have a feminineenergy which is a nurturing
receiving low energy Right.
So you can kind of look at itlike the duality of life there's
yin and yang.
Now, here's the thing.
We're not here to say thatthere isn't a difference between
a masculine presence or afeminine presence.
That's not what we're debating.
But what happens is is that inso many spaces online, what is
(32:06):
touted as the secret tomaintaining intimacy is to
create as much polarity betweena masculine energy person and a
feminine energy person.
So therefore, if Ariel isworking all day and I'm working
all day a lot of people willhyper over-label that as she's
in her masculine and thereforethe reason why we're not able to
be attracted is because I'm inmy masculine frame and Ariel's
(32:29):
in her masculine frame and liketwo sides of a magnet, we repel
instead of coming together.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, and we see this with a lot of entrepreneur
couples, specifically becauseyou typically have to be driving
and moving towards a goal andsometimes organized and all the
things that are typicallyconsidered masculine Right.
So we see this concept show upa lot for entrepreneur couples.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
And we thought at first, like many people like
this, this makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
We should try this.
This is awesome because like somany people.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
We were working like crazy, but we didn't have that
spark alive.
So we're like okay, Ariel, youshould be more feminine, I
should be more masculine, sowhat?
ended up happening is Arielwould go into more of a
caretaker mode and try to justkind of relax a little bit more.
I would.
I'm already a naturally verydriven person, but I'm like
let's see what happens if I goeven more driven, let's go even
more stoic, let's just stretchthis polarity as far as it goes.
(33:16):
And here's what we discoveredafter actually years of trying
this out it only made thingsworse, not better.
Now I know this is going to flyin the face of so many things
that so many people have heard,so just listen to us, hear us
out for a second.
The reason why this did notwork for us is because what
ended up happening was is thatboth of us started to try to
(33:39):
identify our own behavior underthese labels of man-made bios
and creation that beingsomething that's masculine and
feminine, when in reality, everysingle human being has almost
like a, a blueprint in theirmind of what they deem as
attractive.
And therefore, if you justhyper label something as as
masculine or feminine and youthink that that's the solution
(33:59):
to curing intimacy, you canactually be doing the complete
opposite.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Not to mention, we both started to feel a little
more resentful for towards eachother, because we felt like we
were trying to fit each otherinto a different box than we
wanted to be in, and I felt likeI had to be less
entrepreneurial if I wanted tobe quote unquote attractive to
him.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
So all of this blew up one day when we're sitting in
our kitchen and have you guysever been in a position when
you're talking to your spouseand, like you, just get word
vomit, like you don't?
mean to share everything that'sthat you're, that's boiling up,
but you just you just go okay.
Well, no, I'm sure right.
So what happened was is allwe've had all this pent-up
resentment that was buildingbecause we still did not
(34:39):
experience relationship intimacy.
We were not enjoying that, andwe figured out why because we
were trying to do everythingthat everybody else was telling
us to do.
So.
Eventually it just cracked oneday and I told ariel hey, I'm
sorry, this isn't working.
And then she looked at me andshe said why isn't this working?
I've done everything you wantedme to do.
(34:59):
I'm being more feminine, I'mbeing more nurturing and you're
being more masculine.
Like why is that still notworking?
Working.
And I told her I'm like ariel,I don't think I want you to be
more feminine, necessarily.
I just miss the parts about youthat I experienced earlier on
in our relationship.
And it turns out she did aswell.
So here's what we decided to do.
We said, okay, forget this.
(35:20):
But what if we just threw awayevery single label that was
given to us by the world, or allof the seminars, or all the
personal development, and wejust asked ourselves a simple
question what do you findattractive in me and what do I
find attractive in you Sounds sosimple because it is, but it's
so powerful.
So what we did in thisconversation is Ariel, defined
to me like hey, kyle I, I findyou the most attractive when you
(35:42):
are creative and you're drivenand you're excited about life.
Some of those qualities areconsidered quote unquote unquote
feminine.
Some of them are consideredquote unquote masculine.
I would say to Ariel hey, I lovewhen you're confident, I love
when you're expressive, I lovewhen you are just doing the
things that you love to do and Ifind that very attractive.
And what we were identifyingare not these labels that are
(36:04):
put onto our relationship.
We're identifying actual, realqualities about each other that
already exist.
They don't have to conform toanything that we just need to
bring out more to the surface.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
That was the key Cause.
Sometimes we got so locked downin entrepreneur mode, or what I
call work mode, that we forgotthat we were sometimes burying
the natural tendencies and thenatural things that we loved and
the natural passions that wehad um that we just needed to
bring out more in order toshowcase those same things that
we fell in love with each otherover.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So for everybody listening honestly, you have two
choices you can make.
You can either A go down therabbit hole of trying to figure
out masculine and femininepolarity and become very, very
confused because every websitewill say something different but
that's an option.
Or B.
You can ask your partner whatdo you find attractive, and they
can ask you what do you findattractive about your partner?
And if you guys could figureout the answer to those things,
(36:56):
you have a personalized andcustomized cheat code to
integrate those aspects backinto your life at will.
So now Ariel and I know eachother so well that when we are
working and we want to go on adate night, we can instantly
switch from work mode intoromance mode by applying the
things that we already know ourpartner finds attractive.
So I don't know if that's goingto work for us, but it for sure
(37:18):
works for us.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's awesome.
I feel like there's so manycouples out there that can
benefit from that kind ofprocess to go through, as well
as the results that they get onthe other side of it.
So both going through it andtalking to each other, but then
also the discovery, because alot of people again intent
versus perception.
You know, we get stuck in ourconcepts or paradigms and a lot
of people don't know to do thework or won't won't do the work.
But it's absolutely worth it ifyou can have a better
(37:41):
partnership and a bettermarriage and a better business.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
So and when I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, like
there's a lot of, you know,masculine character traits about
you know she's actually she'skind of the perfect woman.
I call my wife the Proverbs 31woman as well, but like she's
productive, she's driven, she'sdoing a lot but she's also
taking care of her family.
So you know the concept that oh, she's just got to be more
(38:06):
feminine.
I don't think is that accurate.
And plus, you know every womanis different, every guy is
different and the things thatdraw us together, you know every
couple dynamics is verydifferent.
So that's really good, that'sawesome.
Love it Well.
Hey guys, it's been awesomehearing about your journey, your
insights.
We've learned a ton, becca andI have as couplepreneurs
(38:27):
ourselves.
Where can our listeners findout more about couplepreneurs
and connect with you online andin just with what you do?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah, so there's a couple of places.
The first place is Instagram,so our handle is at
couplepreneurs.
We also have a Facebookcommunity of over 4,500 couples
at this point of this time.
This recording that group iscalled Successful Couples in
Business.
Time of this recording, uh,that group is called successful
couples in business and that'swhere, again, we brought
together some amazing couples inbusiness, whether they're in
business together or separately,and it's just a really cool
(38:57):
community where we never reallyhad that community of
entrepreneur couples, so we justdecided to create it.
So, um, so that's our Facebookgroup.
And then we also have a podcastcalled the couple for North
show nice and creative, andthat's on Apple Podcasts or
Spotify.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forsharing your story and your
wisdom.
I know we learned a lot today.
I believe there's great valuein this, so hopefully everyone
here will check it out, checkout their handles and also the
content that they offer, and wejust wish you continued success
and happiness and thank you somuch for your time today Awesome
Thanks for having us guys.
Okay, welcome back to the Uncommon Freedom Podcast.
Today, we're thrilled to haveKyle and Ariel Tresh with us.
This is the dynamic duo behindCouplepreneurs, and they have
not only skilled businesses toincredible heights, but also
navigated the complexities ofmaintaining a thriving marriage.
Kyle and Ariel, thank you somuch for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Thanks for having us guys.
We're excited to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, thank you so much, and we're very excited to
share a lot of new discoveriesthat we've personally
experienced and seen ourselvesin the world of
couplepreneurship, and I justthink that, in a world based on
everything that is happeningright now, the conversation
we're about to have is going tounify a lot of marriages and
potentially even build somebusinesses as well.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Awesome, I love it.
So real quick, tell us how longhave you been married and how
did the two of you meet.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So I'll start with um .
We've been married for fouryears now five years, five years
, goodness she.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
She forgot it was so good.
She was like man.
It's faster than I even thought.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We were together for a long time.
We were together for a longtime before we got married, so
we've been together for almost12 years now.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
That's right, and how we kind of knew each other is
we got together in middle school, believe it or not.
So we dated for a couple ofmonths, believe it or not.
She actually broke up with meand I know, isn't that crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
In middle school.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
But you know, when you go through that like 14 year
old Once or twice, or yeah, youget it.
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, but what actually broughtus back together later on in
life is the shared entrepreneurdreams that we both had.
We were both separateentrepreneurs, we both grew
separate businesses, and thatled to a lot of what we did
today, after having to navigateso many complex challenges in
(01:45):
the process.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
And you're currently in South Florida.
Is that where you both grew up,or where'd you grow up?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
No.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah.
So we both kind of came frompretty humble beginnings.
We grew up in a very small townin Ohio, kind of surrounded by
cornfields, and we actuallydated for again a while before
we actually ended up gettingmarried.
And we actually dated for againa while before we actually
ended up getting married.
But by the blessing of ourentrepreneurial journeys, we
were able to not only self-funda dream wedding in the Bahamas
which was amazing but with thatsaid, we also both were
(02:15):
entrepreneurial.
We both experienced some prettyintense challenges at that
stage of our life.
So, I'm sure we'll get into itas we talk in the online.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
But now we live in beautiful Jupiter Florida and I
got to tell you we're not goingback to the snowy cold, frigid
air of.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Ohio, I promise.
So Beck and I we met in Ohio.
I was born and raised in thesuburbs of Cleveland, so also
from Ohio as well.
What city were you guys from?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh my goodness, we're probably like very close
neighbors.
So we grew up in medina oh mygosh, no way, that's where my
parents live.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
That's where we met.
So what a crazy small world.
Yeah, I knew you guys were cool, so the real question is are
you buckeye fans?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
oh for sure, I think everybody's ohio is a buckeyeye.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
O-H.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
I-O.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, I went to Highland High School, so I'm
probably older than you guys.
But, yes, grew up in Hinkleyand went to Highland High School
and so, yeah, we met in collegebut we've been married for 25
years, so almost 26.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
That is crazy.
Normally when we say we're fromOhio, we don't even clarify.
You know, a mix between asuburb and some country town
where, like the Medina Countyfair was like a holiday.
But it's so cool to hear thatyou guys come from a similar
background and, just like us,you guys move to a warmer
climate and you know, I'm sureentrepreneurship is a huge part
(03:40):
of that right.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Well, absolutely, and we tell people Cleveland or
Ohio is a great place to be fromand a great place to visit.
Granted, if we had to, we couldlive there, but we love having
the freedom thatentrepreneurship offers us to be
in a sunny and warm climate.
So cool, very cool.
Well, hey, I know we'll have totalk more about that kind of
(04:03):
stuff online.
I'm sure we have some sharedspheres of influences and things
like that will be fun toconnect about.
But share just a little bitabout your journey to
entrepreneurship.
What really inspired you guysto create and become
couplepreneurs, and how has yourpersonal experience shaped the
mission of your company?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, so I can start with.
So again, we were bothentrepreneurs when we were
dating in the very early years.
And I remember when we gotmarried we thought because we
were both entrepreneurial and,like you said, we had the
freedom, we had the all theseamazing things that
entrepreneurship brings thatwhen we got married things would
only get better from there.
Right, we thought, you know,we're both entrepreneurial,
we're both driven, things aregoing to be great.
(04:42):
But in fact that's actuallyright after we got married.
That's where we experiencedsome of the biggest hardship in
our relationship and in ourbusinesses, because there was a
pretty big tension point wherethere was so much chaos
happening in our life.
You know, we got married, wedidn't really have a honeymoon,
we jumped right back into ourbusinesses and because of that
we were so busy that we reachedthis tension point where Kyle
(05:04):
sort of thought the solution tothe chaos that we were
experiencing was for me to justbe his assistant.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, and that didn't quite work out the way that I
thought it would.
And you know, as you guys cantell, probably by everyone yeah,
that's exactly, and you knowwhat we were experiencing at the
time.
We call it the anti-h, the antihoneymoon stage, because
instead of a honeymoon stage, weexperienced the hardest time of
our entire relationship and atthe time we didn't know that so
(05:32):
many other entrepreneur couplesgo through these same things.
We had to navigate, figuringout okay, if we're both running
businesses or we're bothinvolved in growing a business,
who's going to be responsiblefor the household tasks, who's
going to be responsible for theerrands, the chores, whose time
is more valuable or AKA, lessvaluable, to then dedicate
towards other things?
In addition to that, we also hadto navigate not only the
(05:53):
complexities of business, buttalking about business 24 seven,
as I'm sure so many of yourlisteners would know, will
actually create a lot ofrelationship tension.
Why?
Because we're not just businesspartners, we're also romantic
and married partners as well.
But what would happen is isthat our schedule would fill up
and as our schedule filled up,our intimacy went down.
And as our intimacy went down,our income from our business was
(06:15):
completely capped.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
So we're sitting there looking around, going what
?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
did we just get ourselves into?
Oh my gosh.
And yes, like Ariel said, Ithought the solution was to just
have Ariel come alongside me inmy business.
I had a digital marketingconsulting business.
We were working behind thescenes, helping companies grow
and scale by tens of millions ofdollars.
So I was like Ariel instead ofyou having an organic marketing
coaching business like you have,why don't you just come
alongside me?
You can be my assistant andlike we're just going to do
(06:42):
amazing things.
But what would happen is is thatevery time I tried to kind of
force her into that, she onlyhad more resistance towards it,
and I didn't realize it at thetime.
But I was kind of taking thewrong path.
And I remember the day thatchanged everything for us was a
day where I just got in a guestroom of our house, literally on
(07:02):
my hands and knees, praying outto God, just asking him for an
answer.
Because at this point, like somany other entrepreneur couples,
I felt like we were at a forkin the road and there were two
sucky options Either sucky.
Option number one we sacrificeour business dreams for our
marriage.
But that wasn't going to work.
We were both fall toentrepreneurship, so I didn't
want to do that.
(07:22):
And then option number two likeso many successful
entrepreneurs, they willsometimes choose to sacrifice
their marriage for theirbusiness, and we knew without a
shadow of a doubt that that wasnot going to be our choice.
So what do you do then?
So I remember just praying outto God, and I got out for my
prayer and I did what absolutelynobody should do when they're
looking for answers, and that isI got on social media and on
(07:44):
social media.
What happened was this I saw alive video that area was doing
coaching other women that shewas coaching in her business,
and in that live video therewere comments from women all
over the world telling her thankyou, thank you so much for
showing up and sharing theinformation that God gave you.
And I remember that day.
It was like the scales fellfrom my eyes because I ran out
(08:05):
of the bedroom.
I found her after she was donewith her video and I said hey, I
am so sorry for trying to putyou into a box that you're not
designed for.
I recognize that you're anentrepreneur, I'm an
entrepreneur.
So, instead of us trying toconform to what each other wants
, what would happen if we tookour individual passions and
pointed them towards a unifiedpurpose?
And that question literallychanged our entire life, because
(08:28):
, even though there wasn't aroadmap at the time, we decided
to test out some new systems,new strategies, new approaches
to life, to prioritizing ourintimacy and working better
together so that way we canactually grow businesses.
And here's the crazy thing thathappened as soon as we started
doing.
That didn't happen overnight,but over time.
The more we prioritize eachother and the more that we
(08:49):
prioritize growing well togetherand creating a vision that
doesn't require sacrifice orcompromise between us.
Our revenue levels actuallyjust completely skyrocketed.
We've made more money in ourbusinesses than ever before,
while going on more date nightsthan ever before, and you guys
know how like if you go on adate night and you don't post
about it on social media.
It didn't really happen.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's kind of like.
It's kind of like pole plungingor going to the gym you always
know who does it because they'regoing to post about it.
You know what I'm saying.
So this is what we starteddoing.
We just started going on datenights and doing fun things and
posting it, posting about it onsocial media.
And what happened was that,over the years, people started
reaching out to us saying Kyleand Ariel, how in the world do
(09:32):
you guys grow businesses withoutwanting to kill each other,
without wanting to like, like,just end it all and like.
We got some crazy responses andwhat we did is we said okay,
maybe this is a calling here.
Maybe there's an opportunityhere for us to take our combined
skill set with over a decade ofmarketing experience, combine
that with figuring out how tonavigate our working dynamic and
(09:54):
put it together to create acoaching program that helps
entrepreneur couples.
And since that decision, welaunched that company in 2022,
and it was almost a instantsuccess.
So fast forward to today.
During the time of thisrecording, we have since built
what we believe is the fastestgrowing and largest community of
entrepreneur couples on theplanet, and inside of our
coaching community, we havehelped couples apply what works
(10:17):
with how they work as a coupleand, as a result, we've seen
some insane results.
We've seen couples that arestarting brand new businesses,
quitting full-time jobs, couplesthat have done anywhere from
$50,000 a month to $100,000 amonth to $300,000 a month, all
the way up to $2 million a monthall from the strategists that
we teach.
And as we're doing this, we'reseeing the fruit in our lives to
(10:39):
confirm that this was thecalling that God had for us all
along.
We just didn't know it, becauseit showed up and it looked like
a lot of chaos to start.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
That's really beautiful.
And then, obviously, the senseof peace that comes when you
realize you're rowing the samedirection, not trying to divide
and conquer your dreams.
You can divide and conquer yourtasks, but you really can't
divide and conquer your dreams.
And when people are functioningoutside of their giftings to
your point when you were talkingto Ariel about pivoting like we
know that, there just wouldn'tbe a sense of fulfillment.
(11:09):
And you can do things like thatfor seasons I mean, we've all
had jobs we did not love butwhen you're at the place in your
life where you're ready for thepassion and you've had it,
pivoting outside of thatdefinitely creates, I would
think, like a cognitivedissonance.
And so it sounds like you guysreally came up with a pretty
(11:31):
amazing solution, or God came upwith it for you, which is
amazing.
So you mentioned pioneering anew way to divide up your roles
in your business and your lifeas an entrepreneurial couple.
Can you elaborate a little biton the approach and some of the
practical things for couplesthat are struggling with finding
balance?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So I think one of the first things that was the most
helpful for us is really likeBeck, I think you said earlier
getting clear on what the visionwas that we both wanted.
So that was the first piece.
But once we got clear on likethe vision, we were like we did
what we call a vision date.
Right when we sat down wedetermined what is it that we
want one of out of our life,what do we want it to look like
from a business perspective,from a lifestyle perspective,
(12:04):
and then what type of revenue isactually required to fuel the
dreams that we have?
So we kind of started with,okay, what's the mission that we
have?
How can we both make it areality?
But once we got to that point,that's where we started to
realize, okay, we have to figureout who's doing what, because a
lot of our attention came backto, if we're both in business
together but we also run a lifetogether, there's a lot of
different responsibilities thatare being balanced in that, and
(12:27):
so we had a lot of people from abusiness perspective tell us
okay, if you're going to divvyup roles, just divvy up by
strengths, right, just look atwhat Kyle's good at, what
Ariel's good at, and let's justdivide up that way and it makes
sense to a degree.
But what we actually found wasthat it wasn't really the whole
picture and what happens whenyou overlap in roles or
(12:49):
strengths and what happens whenthere's gaps in your strengths
and what do you do from there.
So we actually had aninteresting experience where
Kyle actually went up to Ohio.
He left our house in Floridaand went up to visit family in
Ohio, and at this time I justdecided to stay home in Florida
and went up to visit family inOhio, and for at this time I
just decided to stay home inFlorida and when he was gone I
(13:09):
got so much more done than whenhe was home.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Talk about a little bit of an ego check there.
Huh yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Kyle came back from Ohio and he's like you, you did
all these things.
This is amazing.
Why?
Why were you able to get somuch more done?
And we were actually at OliveGarden at this time, and I'll
let you kind of yeah, becauseyou know when you come back
after not seeing your spouse.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
The most romantic place to go in the world is
Olive Garden.
We all know this right.
So as we're sitting there justeating some breadsticks, I was
talking to Ariel about this andwhat we recognized in that
moment, it was like a light whenAriel was allowed and able to,
just completely free to work inthe way that her natural energy
(13:54):
allows her to work.
We were able to get so muchmore done than even when we were
trying to accomplish taskstogether.
And the light bulb went off inmy mind while the breadsticks
were in my mouth and Irecognized in that moment wait a
second, what if we didn'tdivide up tasks by departments
or strengths?
What if we divided them up byenergy styles and we've since
kind of coined this term and anenergy style is simply the
(14:17):
working dynamic that you, as anindividual, work best in.
So, for example, anybodylistening, think about your
partner right now.
Think about are they a morningperson or a night person?
Are they extroverted or arethey introverted?
Do they like to accomplish veryquick hit tasks or do they
prefer the tasks where you couldfocus on one thing for maybe a
(14:37):
week or even a month, and basedon what types of tasks give them
the most energy?
Then you can actually divide uptasks by that.
So now what we started to do iswe started to have a few
different tasks across all ofthe different departments even
with some of the team that wehave and we started dividing up
tasks by energy style and itunlocked so much more
(15:00):
productivity, not just for us,but for so many couples that
we've taught this to.
So that's kind of like a littlesecret and something that
everybody listening can applyright away If you can think
about what gives you the mostenergy and what gives your
significant other the mostenergy.
you divide up tasks by that way.
Just watch what happens, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
The last thing I'll say, too, is we also hired out
things within the household.
To give us back time and notonly the business, but also time
.
You know presence and capacityfor each other as a couple as
well.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Yeah, we love that concept of delegating,
especially things you don'tenjoy.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So and that's why when you stay up super late, you
know getting emails done.
I mean, I'm an early to bed,early morning person and
sometimes I'll be like wherewere you last night?
And he'll be like oh man, I wasworking until one or two in the
morning and he gets throughtons of emails, gets lots of
things done and you're justreally a lot more productive
that time of night.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
If I didn't have kids , I could go to bed at 2 am
every day, but unfortunately Doyou guys have kids?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
We do not, no.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
We do not, but pretty much every single one of our
clients do, and what they loveis that because we have such an
extensive business background,we're able to take what works
for CEOs that manage thecomplexities of like 40 plus
teams and a lot of times, amanage the complexities of like
40 plus teams, and a lot oftimes, a lot of that can
translate to parenting as well,even though, of course, we're
not parents.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
we can't necessarily say but at least that's what
clients are doing, absolutelyGreat.
Well, you kind of touched onthis, but obviously many couples
face challenges when they havedifferent personalities or
working styles.
We've experienced this in ourown marriage.
How have you managed to worktogether efficiently despite
these differences and you kindof touched on it.
But maybe go into a little moredetail and what advice would
you give to other couples insimilar situations, like how do
(16:36):
they identify their energystyles and how would you?
What's the next step for people?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, well, I think it all starts with a little bit
of a paradigm shift that hasbeen helpful for us and so many
other entrepreneur couples we'vetalked to, and that paradigm
shift is this a lot of times,the same things that will drive
us the most crazy about ourspouse are actually the same
qualities and characteristicsand strengths that are blessings
to have in business andactually just blessings to have
(17:04):
in general.
So a lot of times where there'srelationship tension,
especially with coupleurs, it'swhen they don't first recognize
the fact that Ariel is more,let's say, organized, diligent,
left-brained, very, verypersistent and a more
right-brained, creative,fast-moving, quick.
(17:25):
That can create somerelationship tension.
Or those could be the keyingredients that you combine to
make the best of these mosteffective business decisions
that you could ever come to.
So really, for us, that's whereit starts.
It starts with receiving thegift that it actually is and
opening the gifts and havinggratitude for the gift.
That is your partner'sperspective.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, one thing I'll add to that too is I read this
term a long time ago and I wishI could give credit to the
person because I don't remember,but it's this term of
ecosystems and it's like howeverything works together as a
whole, and so, for example, someof the things that may drive me
the most crazy about Kyle arealso simultaneously the things
that I love the most.
So, for example, you know, kyledoes this thing and I joke all
(18:07):
the time but he leaves hiscabinets open in the kitchen,
like he'll open the cabinet andthen just leave it open, and it
used to drive me so nuts until Irealized that the reason he
left that cabinet open isbecause he probably got an
inspired idea that he had to gotake action on, and just that
create creative brain just ledhim somewhere else, and that's
part of the reason that I fellin love with him to begin with.
So when I can see that likecreative, like fast moving part
(18:31):
of him yes, sometimes leaves alittle chaos, but is also
simultaneously the thing that Ilove most and the thing that
allows us to work so welltogether, I have so much more of
an appreciation for it Now withthat foundation laid let's
assume everybody just has somuch appreciation for their
spouse and how different theyare.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
With that foundation laid, like you asked, the next
best step is to identify whatyour unique energy styles are,
and we did touch on it a littlebit and of course, there's a
very extensive kind ofassessment that we do for our
clients that goes into this indepth.
But I can give you a couplemore questions that anybody
listening can just ask yourselfto start really moving forward
(19:07):
towards identifying what yourenergy style is.
We covered a couple of them.
When do you like to work?
When do you have the mostenergy throughout the day?
Is it the morning, is it theafternoon or is it night?
And if you can set up aschedule that allows you to
flourish in that time period,that's just a natural advantage.
You have right out of the gatewho is more extroverted and who
is more introverted, and that'sreally helpful, because business
(19:27):
requires both extroverted tasksas well as introverted tasks.
Who loves long range projectsand who loves short range
projects?
I'll give you a perfect exampleof this.
So when we did this, we figuredout that Ariel is the type of
person my wife who can work onone thing for an entire month
without shifting, and that wouldbe her happy place.
(19:49):
To me, that would be absolutelyterrible.
I would hate that so much tojust focus on one thing.
So here's what we did.
When we look at our to-do listevery single day, we determine
the tasks that will move thebusiness forward.
We assign a timeline to thosetasks and, based on who prefers
long-range projects versusshort-range tasks, we divide up
things that way.
So my to-do list for the daymight look like 30 tasks long
(20:16):
and Ariel might look like two,but collectively we were able to
accomplish more than theaverage solopreneur, because we
are covering so much ground inthe ways that God gave us and
the gifts that he gave us tonaturally be wired to accomplish
such tasks.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
So, to give an example, a long range project
that I typically handle may looklike planning an event, because
that's a big thing that's notgoing to be done in a day.
But Kyle may handle, like youknow, meeting with a team member
or doing something that's moreof a quick hit sort of task.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, so I'll manage all of our team members and the
agencies that work with us.
On Slack I'll answer most ofthe client questions.
I will create a lot of theoutlines and create a lot of the
trainings.
While I'm doing all of thosethings, ariel is usually
forecasting for the future,planning events and planning
very bigger project orientedthings.
So I think that those are justa few things that anybody can
(21:00):
apply right away to startworking in your preferred energy
styles.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I love that.
And what I heard you guyssaying at the beginning too,
when you kind of set this up,was you know you're going into
it with a growth mindset oryou're shifting to a growth
mindset.
So many couples have fixedmindsets, and what we talk about
two things when it comes tomarriage is we talk about, you
know, intent versus perception,and so when you can shift to
that, you see things differentlyfor your spouse, which is also
your coworker in many cases here.
(21:26):
And the other thing is you knowthere's the facts and then the
story that we tell ourselves.
And so often when we haveconflict in business or marriage
or relationships, it's becauseyou know there is a fact but we
tell ourselves a story about it.
And what I heard you guys sayingis you went back to kind of
processing it factually to solvethe problem, and then you
didn't just solve the problemdownstream, but you really went
upstream to figure out okay, nowhow do we work in our genius,
(21:49):
versus just fixing the problemevery time it comes back up
again.
So I think that creates a lotof peace in a working
environment and it definitelygives you a chance to have a
more enjoyable and impactfulbusiness, which is really cool.
Do you guys work with coupleswho have the same business?
They're working the samebusiness together.
They each have a separatebusiness or both.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Typically both.
We see a lot of couples thatare in business together.
Kyle and I own separatebusinesses for many years and
we've also been in businesstogether.
So we do a little bit of bothbecause we think there are some
minor differences.
But there's also so muchoverlap.
When you're bothentrepreneurial, you're both
driven, you're both sometimesstrong personalities.
There's a lot of overlap in howthose dynamics show up.
(22:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
And even if anybody was going to look at our website
or check out some of thesuccess stories for our clients.
There are examples of some thatwork together in one business,
some that own separatebusinesses and some that
actually got together to offer abrand new business to the world
and we're able to scale that toover six figures in just a few
months.
(22:55):
So we we've kind of just beenable to combine the marketing
experience and the businessgrowth experience that we've
been so blessed to have with thecouple.
Dynamic and really thatcombination, at least for what
we've seen, has been kind of thesecret sauce Cause, as you guys
know, I'm sure, and everybodylistening if you can combine
what works with how you work asa couple, that's like that
(23:15):
unlocks a superpower ascouplepreneurs.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, that's good, and I mean we've talked from the
opposite side that you knowworking together in business can
make a good marriage and youhave a saying for that.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Being in business together is a good marriage and
you have a saying for that.
Being in business together islike having kids.
You don't have kids If you'vegot a bad marriage.
Having kids to make yourmarriage better is a horrible
idea.
Kids make a strong marriagestronger and a poor marriage or
a weak marriage weaker.
And in our experience, businessdoes the same thing.
If you've got a strong marriage, you're going to have some
challenges to fight through, butultimately it's going to create
(23:49):
a lot of intimacy and it'sgoing to make strong marriage
stronger.
But if you have a weak marriage, going into business together
is just going to reveal all ofthe cracks in that relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yeah, and it sounds like you guys really help people
through that.
So that's amazing because,again, we don't want to see
marriages go by the wayside forthe sake of business, but when
people work together they canmake a massive impact.
So, in the hustle of growingmultiple businesses, how do you
ensure you free up quality timefor each other, family and
personal wellbeing, and arethere specific strategies or
routines that have beenparticularly effective for you
(24:21):
guys?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
So I would say, in terms of how we are able to free
up time, a lot of it just comesdown to having clear boundaries
around what our schedule lookslike and around our touch points
together.
So, to give a couple ofspecific strategies, we have two
different touch points that weteach a lot of our clients.
So the first is what we callstrategy meeting, and this
(24:46):
weekly strategy meeting allowsus to essentially look at the
week ahead and determine what'shappening throughout the week.
What am I needed for?
What is Kyle needed for?
When do we need to cometogether those types of things
and when we have that, it allowsus to not be taken by surprise
when a day comes and suddenlyit's like, hey, we had a meeting
at this time.
You need to stop what you'redoing and come join this meeting
.
So it allows us to kind of planfor the week ahead.
(25:07):
So that's a weekly strategymeeting.
Now we also do daily check-inmeetings, and these daily
check-in meetings are muchshorter meetings where we're
able to take what we talkedabout on our weekly strategy
meeting and just look at the dayand go okay, this is what we
planned for today, this is whatwe expect to be happening.
Is this still accurate?
Did anything else come up?
Is there anything that we needto account for?
It allows us to just get on thesame page every day, because
(25:30):
what we find is the biggestissues with couples in general,
but I would also say couples inbusiness is when there's unmet
expectations and when it feelslike life is happening to them
versus them happening to theirlife and planning their life in
advance, planning their life inadvance.
So, for us, what allows us tojust really create time as a
couple is create thosecontainers and those boundaries
(25:51):
for it, but then have thestructure of the weekly meeting
and the daily check-in meetingsto make sure that those things
actually happen and actuallystay in place.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, and for anybody listening, one of the best
questions that Ariel and Iapplied to our life, to really
separate work life and time forus to be present as a romantic
couple, is this simple questionwhen does work start and when
does work stop?
Yes, after thousands andthousands of conversations with
entrepreneur couples, if we cananswer that one question and we
(26:19):
can agree on it as a couple,what that does is that sets the
groundwork and the foundationfor us to know this is when
we're working and this is whenwe're not working.
So what this allows us to do iswhen we're working, we can be
fully present and maximizing thegifts that God gave us in our
work.
But when it's time to not beworking, we can be fully present
and maximize the time thatwe're blessed to have together
(26:40):
without feeling like I shouldhave responded to more emails, I
should have done more work inthe business, I should have
replied to the Slack messagesand vice versa.
There are so many people thatkind of operate the gray zone
when, while they're working,they think, man, I wish I was
spending more time with familyand while they're with family,
they're like man, I wish I wasworking.
And really the answer to thatquestion will solve all of that,
(27:03):
at least to start, which isagain when does work start and
when does work stop?
And then when work stops?
We've also applied sometechniques to transition from
work mode into romance mode, oneof them being when you're with
your spouse and you are on adate night or you're trying to
be present, you can make it yourmission to go on what we call a
(27:23):
treasure hunt, and thattreasure hunt is basically your
job, should you choose to accept.
It is to ask your spousequestions to find out
information about them thatyou've never heard before, and
what that does, especially forentrepreneurs.
You're using the creativecapacity of your brain to focus
on digging out treasure fromyour significant other.
And I promise you, after beingwith Ariel for over 11 years, at
(27:45):
this point, every single weekwhen we go on our date night
Ariel for over 11 years, at thispoint, every single week when
we go on our date night, I findout something new about her.
So that alone can immediatelyshift anybody's mind from work
mode into romance mode.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, so it's one thing to obviously have the
schedule, it's another thing toactually make sure that you're
present in the differentcontainers in which you've set
up.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Exactly that's good, excellent, you guys All right.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
So you guys talk about becoming a magnetic power
couple.
It sounds awesome.
What does that mean to you, andhow can other entrepreneurial
couples cultivate that type ofdynamic in their professional
and personal lives?
Sounds like an awesome term.
Let's make it a reality.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
So, for anybody listening,think of a couple that walks
into a room and they immediatelyget everybody else's attention.
I'm sure we've all noticed acouple that walks into a room
and they immediately geteverybody else's attention.
I'm sure we've all noticed acouple that does that.
And then ask yourself why isthat the case?
What is it about that couplethat usually draws attention
(28:43):
with some of today's mostsuccessful and influential power
couples in business is that ofthe top, most successful and
most impactful business ownersthat run businesses as a couple.
They all have one key trait thatleads to this magnetism, and
that's something we call coupleconfidence, and what I mean by
this is a lot of times, personaldevelopment will tout the
(29:07):
importance of self-confidence,which essentially, if you break
down that word, the word confidemeans to trust.
So if you have self-confidence,that basically means that you
can trust yourself to do whatyou say you're going to do.
But how this applies towardscouples is if I can trust Aria
and she can trust me and we cantrust each other's word.
(29:27):
We have so much confidence andtrust in each other that shows
up as a magnetic influence foranybody that we walk or anybody
that we have the opportunity toimpact.
So a lot of times in thisparticular case, when we use the
term power couple, we're nottalking about just like a flashy
celebrity couple.
What we're truly talking aboutis a couple that trusts each
(29:49):
other, they have confidence ineach other and they empower each
other and others around them,and I believe that in today's
day and age, if more powercouples were couples that
actually empowered each otherand empowered others, then we
would actually have a muchgreater world to live in.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Wow, I love that because I agree that it makes
being a couple so attractionaland it does show something
different than I think the worldshows.
So, way to like, figure out,figure out that gifting and also
to figure out a term for it,because when you said magnetic,
I definitely had other thingsgoing through my head, but once
you described it I was like,absolutely, that's something
(30:26):
that I would want to be knownfor and I would want to be drawn
to those kinds of people, so Ilove that.
Okay, so we're going to talkabout passion and intimacy One
of our favorite topics.
But keeping passion andintimacy alive can be
challenging, especially whenbusiness demands are high.
So how do you guys maintainyour connection and keep the
romance alive while stillmanaging your business?
You obviously talked aboutweekly date nights, which are
(30:48):
massively important, and mostpeople put those aside.
So, other than prioritizing, ormaybe in addition to that, how
do you keep the romance alive?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, so one of the biggest I don't want to call it
faux pas, but one of the thingsthat's very big in the industry
right now, the online kind ofdigital industry space is this
concept of masculine andfeminine polarity.
I don't know if you guys haveyou ever heard of that term.
Okay, so, generally there'sthis concept.
(31:17):
Actually, I may let you defineit, because I think you're
better at defining it.
Yeah, so what we're going?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
to do is we're going to define a very, very popular
phrase and very popular topicthat is touted by the world,
that every most people agreewith but we actually disagree
with.
So there, there, there you go.
There's the too long to breathe, and I'll tell you why.
So masculine and femininepolarity goes as follows the
concept is is that there's amasculine energy in the world
which is a driving, protectivego energy.
(31:42):
Then you also have a feminineenergy which is a nurturing
receiving low energy Right.
So you can kind of look at itlike the duality of life there's
yin and yang.
Now, here's the thing.
We're not here to say thatthere isn't a difference between
a masculine presence or afeminine presence.
That's not what we're debating.
But what happens is is that inso many spaces online, what is
(32:06):
touted as the secret tomaintaining intimacy is to
create as much polarity betweena masculine energy person and a
feminine energy person.
So therefore, if Ariel isworking all day and I'm working
all day a lot of people willhyper over-label that as she's
in her masculine and thereforethe reason why we're not able to
be attracted is because I'm inmy masculine frame and Ariel's
(32:29):
in her masculine frame and liketwo sides of a magnet, we repel
instead of coming together.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, and we see this with a lot of entrepreneur
couples, specifically becauseyou typically have to be driving
and moving towards a goal andsometimes organized and all the
things that are typicallyconsidered masculine Right.
So we see this concept show upa lot for entrepreneur couples.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
And we thought at first, like many people like
this, this makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
We should try this.
This is awesome because like somany people.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
We were working like crazy, but we didn't have that
spark alive.
So we're like okay, Ariel, youshould be more feminine, I
should be more masculine, sowhat?
ended up happening is Arielwould go into more of a
caretaker mode and try to justkind of relax a little bit more.
I would.
I'm already a naturally verydriven person, but I'm like
let's see what happens if I goeven more driven, let's go even
more stoic, let's just stretchthis polarity as far as it goes.
(33:16):
And here's what we discoveredafter actually years of trying
this out it only made thingsworse, not better.
Now I know this is going to flyin the face of so many things
that so many people have heard,so just listen to us, hear us
out for a second.
The reason why this did notwork for us is because what
ended up happening was is thatboth of us started to try to
(33:39):
identify our own behavior underthese labels of man-made bios
and creation that beingsomething that's masculine and
feminine, when in reality, everysingle human being has almost
like a, a blueprint in theirmind of what they deem as
attractive.
And therefore, if you justhyper label something as as
masculine or feminine and youthink that that's the solution
(33:59):
to curing intimacy, you canactually be doing the complete
opposite.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Not to mention, we both started to feel a little
more resentful for towards eachother, because we felt like we
were trying to fit each otherinto a different box than we
wanted to be in, and I felt likeI had to be less
entrepreneurial if I wanted tobe quote unquote attractive to
him.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
So all of this blew up one day when we're sitting in
our kitchen and have you guysever been in a position when
you're talking to your spouseand, like you, just get word
vomit, like you don't?
mean to share everything that'sthat you're, that's boiling up,
but you just you just go okay.
Well, no, I'm sure right.
So what happened was is allwe've had all this pent-up
resentment that was buildingbecause we still did not
(34:39):
experience relationship intimacy.
We were not enjoying that, andwe figured out why because we
were trying to do everythingthat everybody else was telling
us to do.
So.
Eventually it just cracked oneday and I told ariel hey, I'm
sorry, this isn't working.
And then she looked at me andshe said why isn't this working?
I've done everything you wantedme to do.
(34:59):
I'm being more feminine, I'mbeing more nurturing and you're
being more masculine.
Like why is that still notworking?
Working.
And I told her I'm like ariel,I don't think I want you to be
more feminine, necessarily.
I just miss the parts about youthat I experienced earlier on
in our relationship.
And it turns out she did aswell.
So here's what we decided to do.
We said, okay, forget this.
(35:20):
But what if we just threw awayevery single label that was
given to us by the world, or allof the seminars, or all the
personal development, and wejust asked ourselves a simple
question what do you findattractive in me and what do I
find attractive in you Sounds sosimple because it is, but it's
so powerful.
So what we did in thisconversation is Ariel, defined
to me like hey, kyle I, I findyou the most attractive when you
(35:42):
are creative and you're drivenand you're excited about life.
Some of those qualities areconsidered quote unquote unquote
feminine.
Some of them are consideredquote unquote masculine.
I would say to Ariel hey, I lovewhen you're confident, I love
when you're expressive, I lovewhen you are just doing the
things that you love to do and Ifind that very attractive.
And what we were identifyingare not these labels that are
(36:04):
put onto our relationship.
We're identifying actual, realqualities about each other that
already exist.
They don't have to conform toanything that we just need to
bring out more to the surface.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
That was the key Cause.
Sometimes we got so locked downin entrepreneur mode, or what I
call work mode, that we forgotthat we were sometimes burying
the natural tendencies and thenatural things that we loved and
the natural passions that wehad um that we just needed to
bring out more in order toshowcase those same things that
we fell in love with each otherover.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So for everybody listening honestly, you have two
choices you can make.
You can either A go down therabbit hole of trying to figure
out masculine and femininepolarity and become very, very
confused because every websitewill say something different but
that's an option.
Or B.
You can ask your partner whatdo you find attractive, and they
can ask you what do you findattractive about your partner?
And if you guys could figureout the answer to those things,
(36:56):
you have a personalized andcustomized cheat code to
integrate those aspects backinto your life at will.
So now Ariel and I know eachother so well that when we are
working and we want to go on adate night, we can instantly
switch from work mode intoromance mode by applying the
things that we already know ourpartner finds attractive.
So I don't know if that's goingto work for us, but it for sure
(37:18):
works for us.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's awesome.
I feel like there's so manycouples out there that can
benefit from that kind ofprocess to go through, as well
as the results that they get onthe other side of it.
So both going through it andtalking to each other, but then
also the discovery, because alot of people again intent
versus perception.
You know, we get stuck in ourconcepts or paradigms and a lot
of people don't know to do thework or won't won't do the work.
But it's absolutely worth it ifyou can have a better
(37:41):
partnership and a bettermarriage and a better business.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
So and when I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, like
there's a lot of, you know,masculine character traits about
you know she's actually she'skind of the perfect woman.
I call my wife the Proverbs 31woman as well, but like she's
productive, she's driven, she'sdoing a lot but she's also
taking care of her family.
So you know the concept that oh, she's just got to be more
(38:06):
feminine.
I don't think is that accurate.
And plus, you know every womanis different, every guy is
different and the things thatdraw us together, you know every
couple dynamics is verydifferent.
So that's really good, that'sawesome.
Love it Well.
Hey guys, it's been awesomehearing about your journey, your
insights.
We've learned a ton, becca andI have as couplepreneurs
(38:27):
ourselves.
Where can our listeners findout more about couplepreneurs
and connect with you online andin just with what you do?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah, so there's a couple of places.
The first place is Instagram,so our handle is at
couplepreneurs.
We also have a Facebookcommunity of over 4,500 couples
at this point of this time.
This recording that group iscalled Successful Couples in
Business.
Time of this recording, uh,that group is called successful
couples in business and that'swhere, again, we brought
together some amazing couples inbusiness, whether they're in
business together or separately,and it's just a really cool
(38:57):
community where we never reallyhad that community of
entrepreneur couples, so we justdecided to create it.
So, um, so that's our Facebookgroup.
And then we also have a podcastcalled the couple for North
show nice and creative, andthat's on Apple Podcasts or
Spotify.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forsharing your story and your
wisdom.
I know we learned a lot today.
I believe there's great valuein this, so hopefully everyone
here will check it out, checkout their handles and also the
content that they offer, and wejust wish you continued success
and happiness and thank you somuch for your time today Awesome
Thanks for having us guys.
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