Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's up everybody.
This is Jay Floyd.
Welcome back to On Everything,my new branded podcast.
I mean it's really the samepodcast because it's just me
giving the message, but I thinkI am evolving and my message
should evolve.
You know that's no shot atanybody else's podcast, but it's
just how I've been approachingthe journey.
(00:22):
So today, storytelling time.
My number one strength in lifeis storyteller, so I'm going to
lean into that whenever I can.
I want to tell you're going tohear probably a lot in the
coming 10, 20, 30 episodes.
I'm going to touch a little biton my life.
(00:44):
I actually wrote my life storyand self-published it.
It's available on Amazon.
Shameless plug, it's called thePoet who Watched the Whole
Parade.
You can actually go out and getit.
I think it's like $9.99.
Actually it's a nice paperback.
It's my first piece of writing.
(01:04):
So you know I am writing moreand even writing fiction these
days.
So if you go out and you readit, send me a message, let me
know how you liked my originalwriting and then you can keep up
with me and my evolution as Icontinue to publish more.
My evolution as I continue topublish more.
(01:25):
So my life story and one of theearliest memories I have.
Let's start when I was aboutfive maybe I was four, could
have been four my mom was bornand raised in this really rough
(01:46):
neighborhood in Cleveland, ohio,scoville area.
Anybody familiar with Clevelandwill know this neighborhood.
That's where my mom was raised.
She was born in Mississippi.
She was shipped up here whenshe was three and so she was
raised.
She was born in Mississippi.
She was shipped up here whenshe was three and so she was
(02:09):
raised around there.
She had a best friend.
I'm blanking on her name.
I probably shouldn't thrownames in anyway, but she had a
best friend, and anybody whoknows anything about I would say
black.
But it's really justmarginalized or impoverished
communities.
The families start to mergetogether.
(02:30):
So a lot of times for a smallchild, a person you know, the
mother's best friend is auntie.
You know, and this is this wasthe case for us A mom's best
friend.
We called her auntie.
My mom and dad were in themiddle of a bitter divorce so we
were kind of floating around,living different places.
(02:52):
We had made an attempt to moveto the suburbs.
That failed miserably.
We were bouncing around livingwith cousins, et cetera, and my
mom would reach out to her bestfriend and keep in contact with
her.
Her best friend still stayed inthe projects over near where
they first grew up Actually, Ithink it was right where they
(03:14):
first grew up and met each other.
Her best friend still livedthere.
She was married, she had ahusband and they didn't have
kids.
And they didn't have kids andmy mom would call her best
friend sometimes and make surethat me and my brother knew that
this lady was to be consideredour auntie and we should get
(03:36):
excited about it, right?
And you know, whenever we can,we're going to go back and visit
, and we did On occasion.
We would go back down to theprojects and you know it's what
you would expect from theproject building.
You know it's run down, thehallways smell like piss and man
(03:58):
, it's just oh, there's smokesmell.
I mean, obviously it was the80s so the smoke smell was kind
of everywhere, but it'sdefinitely a distinct smell,
this mixture of things that Ican still remember.
Right now I can't really putwords to it, but we go back down
there and every time we go theysay, hey, we're so excited to
(04:20):
see y'all.
I can't wait to see you nexttime.
We're going to get you somegifts.
Right, we get you gifts.
They were excited.
They didn't have kids, so theywere excited about the prospect
of buying gifts for her kids.
So one day we went down, like Isaid, I was about four, it's me
, my mother, my brother.
(04:45):
They're like we have a gift forlittle Jason.
If y'all don't know that it'smy name, I do go by Jay Floyd.
That's a story I'll touch onanother time, as me and my
brother have both gone by thename Jay.
But they said, hey, we have agift for little Jason, come next
time you come, make sure youcome quick.
This is a really special gift.
We can't wait to give it to him.
We couldn't get thereimmediately, right.
(05:06):
But my mom told us, hey, we gotto get down to my friend's
house, to your auntie's house,because she has a gift for you,
jason, and it's special.
You're going to love it.
Can't wait, get excited, you'regoing to love it.
I don't know how long this wenton.
Time is relative and after allthese years it feels like this
(05:28):
went on for about a couple ofmonths.
It could have been a few weeks,I don't know, but it went on.
Eventually we got down there.
Okay, here's the date we'regoing to get down there.
We get down there and Iremember we were outside, so I
don't know.
We just didn't go in theirapartment, they were outside and
we pulled up in our car outsideand their car was outside and
(05:53):
they go into the car and they'relike okay, we got it for you.
And they reach in and they pullout this riding toy.
I don't know if anybodyremembers.
If you were born, if you werearound in the 70s and 80s, you
remember a toy called theinchworm.
It was essentially this plasticriding toy that was shaped like
(06:15):
a worm, that was in an S-curveand, if you imagine, a sine wave
type S-curve, and the parts ofthe curve that were touching the
ground had wheels on them andthe other parts that curved up
was essentially like the seatand the handles, the handlebars.
(06:38):
So in order to use this toy,you were supposed to sit on one
of the humps and hold thehandlebars on the first hump and
bounce up and down, and thatbouncing that movement should
make the riding toy go forwardby just like an inch or two
(07:02):
right.
So it would go down.
The wheels would kind of expandout, the front wheels would
expand forward, the back wheelswould expand backwards and then
you bounce up and essentially itwas designed so that you would
go forward.
The back wheels would expandbackwards and then you bounce up
and essentially it was designedso that you would go forward a
little bit at a time and thiswas a big like the 80s.
(07:26):
This is the beginning of the80s, but the Reagan 80s were big
, right.
Anybody who doesn't know and Iwill, I know I've waxed poetic
about this in the past and maybeI will.
I've even done songs on this.
I did a song called Midwest onmy album what's Good, which is
available on Spotify and Tidal.
You should go listen.
All outlets Talking aboutRonald Reagan's effect on the
(07:50):
marketing, specifically on themarketing of toys and things
that kids would be interested in, specifically to the middle
part of the country and I grewup in the Midwest, in Cleveland,
and it was a great equalizer,right, there were rich kids,
poor kids, white kids, blackkids, brown kids, everybody.
All kids were subject to theimpact of this right.
(08:15):
Part of Reaganomics was thatRonald Reagan removed a lot of
FCC regulations.
So, or FTC regulations, federalTrade Commission or whatever it
is I cannot remember theacronym, but essentially he
removed the restrictions towhere, especially on TV and
(08:38):
radio, all bets were off on whatretailers, manufacturers, big
companies could do to advertisethings to kids.
You could lie, you canmisrepresent the toy, you could
never even show the toy and youcould trick people into buying
these things.
So it was like huge marketingpushes on things like the
(09:00):
inchworm.
The inchworm had embedded in mymind.
It worked.
The marketing ploy had workedon me.
So when my quote unquote auntiereached into her trunk and
pulled this thing out I think itmay have even been raining a
little bit and it was dark.
(09:20):
It was a very weird interaction.
It's almost like some kind of adrug deal interaction or
something.
But this is where we werecoming to get this toy presented
to us.
So they pulled this thing out,they put it on the ground and I
am a painfully shy kid at thetime.
Right Like that was how myfamily described it.
(09:46):
In modern day terms, we now knowthat I had panic disorder.
It was something I've beendealing with my entire life and
this was I was frozen, I wascompletely frozen.
This lady who I was told tocall my auntie I didn't really
know her that well, I didn'treally know her husband that
well these are people my mothergrew up with.
We're in a neighborhood that Idon't know very well.
(10:06):
It's in the dark, it's rainingand they pull out this dream toy
and they're expecting me tolike, do backflips and just run
and jump on this thing and say,oh my God, thank you, you are
the greatest surrogate parents,auntie, uncles in the world.
I didn't do that, I froze.
(10:27):
Anybody who deals with ananxiety disorder or like panic
disorder, they know sometimesyou are so stimulated and you're
just in your brain trying towork out what's going on.
In that moment I just literallystood there.
And one of the hallmarks offamilies, particularly in that
(10:48):
generation, that Gen Xgeneration, they try to force a
certain reaction on you.
So you know, my mom is feelinguncomfortable, like, oh, my
son's not showing gratitude.
I don't even know what herfriend and her husband are
(11:09):
feeling, but they felt a littlebit aggressive too and I froze.
And in that moment my brother,my big brother, who is three and
a half years older than me, sohe's like seven and he is not
the size of the averageseven-year-old, he is big, he is
husky, he jumps on thatinchworm and he said, yeah, this
is the inchworm from thecommercial boom and he jumps on
(11:31):
it and he starts bouncing up anddown.
He's like this is the inchwormfrom the commercial boom.
And he jumps on it and hestarts bouncing up and down.
He's like this is how it works.
And he bounces and he's goingforward like an inch at a time
and it's like, wow, this thingworks.
And crack, he broke it.
He broke it.
Split it right in the middle ofthe top hump that you sit on.
(11:57):
Everybody is silent.
I'm standing there and this isone of those key moments that
I've learned as a parent.
Sometimes the reaction that thechild will have is super
(12:18):
dependent on the reaction thatthe parent has in the moment, or
the adults or the authorityfigures.
And right in that moment Ihonestly didn't know what to
feel.
I mean, I felt kind of like madat my brother a little bit, but
(12:39):
it was something I was used to.
He breaks my.
He would do that A lot of times.
We got the same toy right, wewould get two copies, we get two
of the same toy and he wouldplay so rough with his that he'd
break it and then he'd try totake mine.
It's something that we had beencatching him doing for years.
So I wasn't super shocked.
(13:00):
I was a little disappointed.
But the anger that came out ofmy mom and her friend's husband
and it was interesting becausethey were, it felt I mean I
guess the words, what they weresaying were that they were angry
(13:20):
at him.
But that's not how they showedit.
Everybody was looking at me,they were saying words about him
.
Oh my God, I can't believe youdid that.
That was mean.
But what they?
They were looking at me becausethen the conversation
ultimately became well damn, hedidn't even get to ride it.
(13:43):
Look at him, look at that sadlittle boy.
He didn't even get to touchthat thing that we got him.
You never even got.
It almost became humiliating.
You never even got to touch itbecause your brother hopped on
it and broke it.
He was the only one that evengot to enjoy it for the time it
was working.
(14:06):
And I felt manipulated, I feltrobbed.
I felt robbed, I feltcontrolled over my I never
really had a chance to reallymake a decision on how I felt
about it.
But the overriding thing that Ihonestly felt after it was all
said and done was I didn't askfor any of that.
I never asked for the inchworm.
(14:30):
You told me you were going tobuy it.
You told me you had bought it.
You told us to come get it.
We actually didn't even comeimmediately, we came whenever we
could.
It's tough for us to gettransportation and schedules
worked out.
We got there and then thathappened to me.
(14:52):
What I probably needed most inthat moment wasn't this strange
misdirected anger pity blend.
But I probably just you knowwhat, I don't know what I needed
in that moment.
I don't know, you know what.
I don't know what I needed inthat moment.
I don't know.
(15:13):
Has anybody out there been inthat situation like that before,
where you never even got achance to process how you feel,
the response from others chimedin and forced a whole nother
feeling on you.
Humiliation, this awkwardembarrassment.
(15:36):
Yeah, I felt all of that.
It took me a long time.
It used to come up often, right,and the topic would come up as
kind of like it was intended tocome up as a chastisement to my
brother.
Man, you did that and that waswrong, that was mean, you should
(15:57):
treat your brother more nicely.
But it always would end inreally just more humiliation for
me, right.
So as time went on, I'velearned in life we go through
things and they don't always go.
(16:18):
You know, there's plenty ofways that circumstance could
have went, could have wentbetter.
There's plenty of ways theadults and the authority figures
could have showed up better.
There's plenty of ways mybrother could have behaved
better, but it didn't happen.
It happened the way it didright.
So I firmly feel like, okay,well, the way that it did happen
(16:42):
, yeah, we can learn from it allof that, but at the end of the
day, it did something to all ofus.
I'm pretty sure it impacted mybrother and I'll touch on a lot
of the things that I feel andhave learned about the elder
sibling experience the oldestsibling experience.
(17:03):
But from my experience, what Ihad to learn is my unique
journey.
I needed to see that.
I needed to see a moreaggressive person come in and
take what was mine and break it,so I never could have it.
It kind of makes me who I am.
I don't think about it everyday, but I'm sure it's buried
(17:25):
deep down in there.
It's a driver for me.
Anytime you have those kind ofdrivers, you got to make sure
they're healthy drivers, right?
I've talked to my therapistabout these things, but one of
the things that I do now as aleader and I want people to
understand being a leaderdoesn't mean you're perfect.
Nobody's ever perfect.
You got things.
You're working on right as aleader.
(17:57):
Working on right as a leader, Irecognized that was one of the
situations that made me and Ipaint a picture for myself now I
wasn't meant to go aggressivelyjust to move an inch.
That's not me.
That's not me.
So even in that circumstance,when I was four and my brother
was seven and those parents andthose authority figures were
there, we were all being who weare and I'm not the dude that
(18:27):
aggressively rushes in just togo an inch.
Because you know what, I nevereven asked for another inchworm
and I saw inchworms later andthe marketing ploy had wore off.
I'm not excited about bouncingon this thing just to go an inch
.
Show me something that is moreefficient.
Show me something that goes alittle further, a little faster.
I'm not excited about aninchworm.
(18:49):
I don't know, and you know what.
I really don't even know whatyou should take from this, but I
do think there's some jewels inthere to take from it.
So you tell me, hit me up onsocial media, go out to open
book media.
You tell me what did that storymean?
Do you have stories like that?
(19:10):
You tell me what did that storymean?
Do you have stories like that?
You know, I firmly believe andthis is what I built open book
media around, and all of mycoaching, all of my leadership.
It's written in all of my books,even my fiction books the
things we experience.
They don't define us, butthey're the bricks that we're
(19:31):
built on.
We're not limited to only thosepast experiences, but those
past experiences do notdisqualify us.
Sometimes they're painful,sometimes they're hurtful,
sometimes they're even sounusual that we think other
people can't relate.
But I guarantee you they stillprovide a firm foundation, a
(19:54):
unique strength.
There's only one, you.
When they make a watch or a carand there's only one of one,
what does that mean?
It ends up driving the value up.
So what should that mean aboutyou?
A machine that is actuallyliving and with parts that are
(20:18):
far more complex than a watch ora vehicle?
Yeah, that's my thought fortoday.
Y'all On that inchworm inches,I'd rather go farther than that.
Yeah, thanks for tuning iny'all on that inchworm Inches,
I'd rather go farther than that.
Yeah, thanks for tuning iny'all Check me out on my next
episode and I hope you reallyenjoy the Humpty Dumpty episode,
(20:39):
because that really gave me achance to really dig into the
mantra of on everything right.
I have been, admittedly, kindof stuck in a box right of
what's good.
What's good was a great album,it's a great clothing line, it's
a great mantra.
But when I do my podcast, mymind has more to offer than just
(21:03):
what's good, leadership andcoaching.
There's a lot of things thatare just pondering, just
interesting things that we canstill dig some diamonds out of
to help us.
Yeah, but a little bit lessstructured.
So thanks for joining me y'all.
I love y'all.
Thank you for listening.
Holla at me later, man.
Please, so like and subscribethis on any platform you're
(21:25):
listening to, and stay tuned forfar more episodes.
What's up everybody.
This is Jay Floyd.
Welcome back to On Everything,my new branded podcast.
I mean it's really the samepodcast because it's just me
giving the message, but I thinkI am evolving and my message
should evolve.
You know that's no shot atanybody else's podcast, but it's
just how I've been approachingthe journey.
(00:22):
So today, storytelling time.
My number one strength in lifeis storyteller, so I'm going to
lean into that whenever I can.
I want to tell you're going tohear probably a lot in the
coming 10, 20, 30 episodes.
I'm going to touch a little biton my life.
(00:44):
I actually wrote my life storyand self-published it.
It's available on Amazon.
Shameless plug, it's called thePoet who Watched the Whole
Parade.
You can actually go out and getit.
I think it's like $9.99.
Actually it's a nice paperback.
It's my first piece of writing.
(01:04):
So you know I am writing moreand even writing fiction these
days.
So if you go out and you readit, send me a message, let me
know how you liked my originalwriting and then you can keep up
with me and my evolution as Icontinue to publish more.
My evolution as I continue topublish more.
(01:25):
So my life story and one of theearliest memories I have.
Let's start when I was aboutfive maybe I was four, could
have been four my mom was bornand raised in this really rough
(01:46):
neighborhood in Cleveland, ohio,scoville area.
Anybody familiar with Clevelandwill know this neighborhood.
That's where my mom was raised.
She was born in Mississippi.
She was shipped up here whenshe was three and so she was
raised.
She was born in Mississippi.
She was shipped up here whenshe was three and so she was
(02:09):
raised around there.
She had a best friend.
I'm blanking on her name.
I probably shouldn't thrownames in anyway, but she had a
best friend, and anybody whoknows anything about I would say
black.
But it's really justmarginalized or impoverished
communities.
The families start to mergetogether.
(02:30):
So a lot of times for a smallchild, a person you know, the
mother's best friend is auntie.
You know, and this is this wasthe case for us A mom's best
friend.
We called her auntie.
My mom and dad were in themiddle of a bitter divorce so we
were kind of floating around,living different places.
(02:52):
We had made an attempt to moveto the suburbs.
That failed miserably.
We were bouncing around livingwith cousins, et cetera, and my
mom would reach out to her bestfriend and keep in contact with
her.
Her best friend still stayed inthe projects over near where
they first grew up Actually, Ithink it was right where they
(03:14):
first grew up and met each other.
Her best friend still livedthere.
She was married, she had ahusband and they didn't have
kids.
And they didn't have kids andmy mom would call her best
friend sometimes and make surethat me and my brother knew that
this lady was to be consideredour auntie and we should get
(03:36):
excited about it, right?
And you know, whenever we can,we're going to go back and visit
, and we did On occasion.
We would go back down to theprojects and you know it's what
you would expect from theproject building.
You know it's run down, thehallways smell like piss and man
(03:58):
, it's just oh, there's smokesmell.
I mean, obviously it was the80s so the smoke smell was kind
of everywhere, but it'sdefinitely a distinct smell,
this mixture of things that Ican still remember.
Right now I can't really putwords to it, but we go back down
there and every time we go theysay, hey, we're so excited to
(04:20):
see y'all.
I can't wait to see you nexttime.
We're going to get you somegifts.
Right, we get you gifts.
They were excited.
They didn't have kids, so theywere excited about the prospect
of buying gifts for her kids.
So one day we went down, like Isaid, I was about four, it's me
, my mother, my brother.
(04:45):
They're like we have a gift forlittle Jason.
If y'all don't know that it'smy name, I do go by Jay Floyd.
That's a story I'll touch onanother time, as me and my
brother have both gone by thename Jay.
But they said, hey, we have agift for little Jason, come next
time you come, make sure youcome quick.
This is a really special gift.
We can't wait to give it to him.
We couldn't get thereimmediately, right.
(05:06):
But my mom told us, hey, we gotto get down to my friend's
house, to your auntie's house,because she has a gift for you,
jason, and it's special.
You're going to love it.
Can't wait, get excited, you'regoing to love it.
I don't know how long this wenton.
Time is relative and after allthese years it feels like this
(05:28):
went on for about a couple ofmonths.
It could have been a few weeks,I don't know, but it went on.
Eventually we got down there.
Okay, here's the date we'regoing to get down there.
We get down there and Iremember we were outside, so I
don't know.
We just didn't go in theirapartment, they were outside and
we pulled up in our car outsideand their car was outside and
(05:53):
they go into the car and they'relike okay, we got it for you.
And they reach in and they pullout this riding toy.
I don't know if anybodyremembers.
If you were born, if you werearound in the 70s and 80s, you
remember a toy called theinchworm.
It was essentially this plasticriding toy that was shaped like
(06:15):
a worm, that was in an S-curveand, if you imagine, a sine wave
type S-curve, and the parts ofthe curve that were touching the
ground had wheels on them andthe other parts that curved up
was essentially like the seatand the handles, the handlebars.
(06:38):
So in order to use this toy,you were supposed to sit on one
of the humps and hold thehandlebars on the first hump and
bounce up and down, and thatbouncing that movement should
make the riding toy go forwardby just like an inch or two
(07:02):
right.
So it would go down.
The wheels would kind of expandout, the front wheels would
expand forward, the back wheelswould expand backwards and then
you bounce up and essentially itwas designed so that you would
go forward.
The back wheels would expandbackwards and then you bounce up
and essentially it was designedso that you would go forward a
little bit at a time and thiswas a big like the 80s.
(07:26):
This is the beginning of the80s, but the Reagan 80s were big
, right.
Anybody who doesn't know and Iwill, I know I've waxed poetic
about this in the past and maybeI will.
I've even done songs on this.
I did a song called Midwest onmy album what's Good, which is
available on Spotify and Tidal.
You should go listen.
All outlets Talking aboutRonald Reagan's effect on the
(07:50):
marketing, specifically on themarketing of toys and things
that kids would be interested in, specifically to the middle
part of the country and I grewup in the Midwest, in Cleveland,
and it was a great equalizer,right, there were rich kids,
poor kids, white kids, blackkids, brown kids, everybody.
All kids were subject to theimpact of this right.
(08:15):
Part of Reaganomics was thatRonald Reagan removed a lot of
FCC regulations.
So, or FTC regulations, federalTrade Commission or whatever it
is I cannot remember theacronym, but essentially he
removed the restrictions towhere, especially on TV and
(08:38):
radio, all bets were off on whatretailers, manufacturers, big
companies could do to advertisethings to kids.
You could lie, you canmisrepresent the toy, you could
never even show the toy and youcould trick people into buying
these things.
So it was like huge marketingpushes on things like the
(09:00):
inchworm.
The inchworm had embedded in mymind.
It worked.
The marketing ploy had workedon me.
So when my quote unquote auntiereached into her trunk and
pulled this thing out I think itmay have even been raining a
little bit and it was dark.
(09:20):
It was a very weird interaction.
It's almost like some kind of adrug deal interaction or
something.
But this is where we werecoming to get this toy presented
to us.
So they pulled this thing out,they put it on the ground and I
am a painfully shy kid at thetime.
Right Like that was how myfamily described it.
(09:46):
In modern day terms, we now knowthat I had panic disorder.
It was something I've beendealing with my entire life and
this was I was frozen, I wascompletely frozen.
This lady who I was told tocall my auntie I didn't really
know her that well, I didn'treally know her husband that
well these are people my mothergrew up with.
We're in a neighborhood that Idon't know very well.
(10:06):
It's in the dark, it's rainingand they pull out this dream toy
and they're expecting me tolike, do backflips and just run
and jump on this thing and say,oh my God, thank you, you are
the greatest surrogate parents,auntie, uncles in the world.
I didn't do that, I froze.
(10:27):
Anybody who deals with ananxiety disorder or like panic
disorder, they know sometimesyou are so stimulated and you're
just in your brain trying towork out what's going on.
In that moment I just literallystood there.
And one of the hallmarks offamilies, particularly in that
(10:48):
generation, that Gen Xgeneration, they try to force a
certain reaction on you.
So you know, my mom is feelinguncomfortable, like, oh, my
son's not showing gratitude.
I don't even know what herfriend and her husband are
(11:09):
feeling, but they felt a littlebit aggressive too and I froze.
And in that moment my brother,my big brother, who is three and
a half years older than me, sohe's like seven and he is not
the size of the averageseven-year-old, he is big, he is
husky, he jumps on thatinchworm and he said, yeah, this
is the inchworm from thecommercial boom and he jumps on
(11:31):
it and he starts bouncing up anddown.
He's like this is the inchwormfrom the commercial boom.
And he jumps on it and hestarts bouncing up and down.
He's like this is how it works.
And he bounces and he's goingforward like an inch at a time
and it's like, wow, this thingworks.
And crack, he broke it.
He broke it.
Split it right in the middle ofthe top hump that you sit on.
(11:57):
Everybody is silent.
I'm standing there and this isone of those key moments that
I've learned as a parent.
Sometimes the reaction that thechild will have is super
(12:18):
dependent on the reaction thatthe parent has in the moment, or
the adults or the authorityfigures.
And right in that moment Ihonestly didn't know what to
feel.
I mean, I felt kind of like madat my brother a little bit, but
(12:39):
it was something I was used to.
He breaks my.
He would do that A lot of times.
We got the same toy right, wewould get two copies, we get two
of the same toy and he wouldplay so rough with his that he'd
break it and then he'd try totake mine.
It's something that we had beencatching him doing for years.
So I wasn't super shocked.
(13:00):
I was a little disappointed.
But the anger that came out ofmy mom and her friend's husband
and it was interesting becausethey were, it felt I mean I
guess the words, what they weresaying were that they were angry
(13:20):
at him.
But that's not how they showedit.
Everybody was looking at me,they were saying words about him
.
Oh my God, I can't believe youdid that.
That was mean.
But what they?
They were looking at me becausethen the conversation
ultimately became well damn, hedidn't even get to ride it.
(13:43):
Look at him, look at that sadlittle boy.
He didn't even get to touchthat thing that we got him.
You never even got.
It almost became humiliating.
You never even got to touch itbecause your brother hopped on
it and broke it.
He was the only one that evengot to enjoy it for the time it
was working.
(14:06):
And I felt manipulated, I feltrobbed.
I felt robbed, I feltcontrolled over my I never
really had a chance to reallymake a decision on how I felt
about it.
But the overriding thing that Ihonestly felt after it was all
said and done was I didn't askfor any of that.
I never asked for the inchworm.
(14:30):
You told me you were going tobuy it.
You told me you had bought it.
You told us to come get it.
We actually didn't even comeimmediately, we came whenever we
could.
It's tough for us to gettransportation and schedules
worked out.
We got there and then thathappened to me.
(14:52):
What I probably needed most inthat moment wasn't this strange
misdirected anger pity blend.
But I probably just you knowwhat, I don't know what I needed
in that moment.
I don't know, you know what.
I don't know what I needed inthat moment.
I don't know.
(15:13):
Has anybody out there been inthat situation like that before,
where you never even got achance to process how you feel,
the response from others chimedin and forced a whole nother
feeling on you.
Humiliation, this awkwardembarrassment.
(15:36):
Yeah, I felt all of that.
It took me a long time.
It used to come up often, right,and the topic would come up as
kind of like it was intended tocome up as a chastisement to my
brother.
Man, you did that and that waswrong, that was mean, you should
(15:57):
treat your brother more nicely.
But it always would end inreally just more humiliation for
me, right.
So as time went on, I'velearned in life we go through
things and they don't always go.
(16:18):
You know, there's plenty ofways that circumstance could
have went, could have wentbetter.
There's plenty of ways theadults and the authority figures
could have showed up better.
There's plenty of ways mybrother could have behaved
better, but it didn't happen.
It happened the way it didright.
So I firmly feel like, okay,well, the way that it did happen
(16:42):
, yeah, we can learn from it allof that, but at the end of the
day, it did something to all ofus.
I'm pretty sure it impacted mybrother and I'll touch on a lot
of the things that I feel andhave learned about the elder
sibling experience the oldestsibling experience.
(17:03):
But from my experience, what Ihad to learn is my unique
journey.
I needed to see that.
I needed to see a moreaggressive person come in and
take what was mine and break it,so I never could have it.
It kind of makes me who I am.
I don't think about it everyday, but I'm sure it's buried
(17:25):
deep down in there.
It's a driver for me.
Anytime you have those kind ofdrivers, you got to make sure
they're healthy drivers, right?
I've talked to my therapistabout these things, but one of
the things that I do now as aleader and I want people to
understand being a leaderdoesn't mean you're perfect.
Nobody's ever perfect.
You got things.
You're working on right as aleader.
(17:57):
Working on right as a leader, Irecognized that was one of the
situations that made me and Ipaint a picture for myself now I
wasn't meant to go aggressivelyjust to move an inch.
That's not me.
That's not me.
So even in that circumstance,when I was four and my brother
was seven and those parents andthose authority figures were
there, we were all being who weare and I'm not the dude that
(18:27):
aggressively rushes in just togo an inch.
Because you know what, I nevereven asked for another inchworm
and I saw inchworms later andthe marketing ploy had wore off.
I'm not excited about bouncingon this thing just to go an inch
.
Show me something that is moreefficient.
Show me something that goes alittle further, a little faster.
I'm not excited about aninchworm.
(18:49):
I don't know, and you know what.
I really don't even know whatyou should take from this, but I
do think there's some jewels inthere to take from it.
So you tell me, hit me up onsocial media, go out to open
book media.
You tell me what did that storymean?
Do you have stories like that?
(19:10):
You tell me what did that storymean?
Do you have stories like that?
You know, I firmly believe andthis is what I built open book
media around, and all of mycoaching, all of my leadership.
It's written in all of my books,even my fiction books the
things we experience.
They don't define us, butthey're the bricks that we're
(19:31):
built on.
We're not limited to only thosepast experiences, but those
past experiences do notdisqualify us.
Sometimes they're painful,sometimes they're hurtful,
sometimes they're even sounusual that we think other
people can't relate.
But I guarantee you they stillprovide a firm foundation, a
(19:54):
unique strength.
There's only one, you.
When they make a watch or a carand there's only one of one,
what does that mean?
It ends up driving the value up.
So what should that mean aboutyou?
A machine that is actuallyliving and with parts that are
(20:18):
far more complex than a watch ora vehicle?
Yeah, that's my thought fortoday.
Y'all On that inchworm inches,I'd rather go farther than that.
Yeah, thanks for tuning iny'all on that inchworm Inches,
I'd rather go farther than that.
Yeah, thanks for tuning iny'all Check me out on my next
episode and I hope you reallyenjoy the Humpty Dumpty episode,
(20:39):
because that really gave me achance to really dig into the
mantra of on everything right.
I have been, admittedly, kindof stuck in a box right of
what's good.
What's good was a great album,it's a great clothing line, it's
a great mantra.
But when I do my podcast, mymind has more to offer than just
(21:03):
what's good, leadership andcoaching.
There's a lot of things thatare just pondering, just
interesting things that we canstill dig some diamonds out of
to help us.
Yeah, but a little bit lessstructured.
So thanks for joining me y'all.
I love y'all.
Thank you for listening.
Holla at me later, man.
Please, so like and subscribethis on any platform you're
(21:25):
listening to, and stay tuned forfar more episodes.
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