January 17, 2025 • 14 mins
Discover the transformative power of communication as we unravel the distinction between honesty and transparency with your host, Jay Floyd. How can embracing transparency redefine personal and professional relationships? In this episode, Jay promises to guide you through the nuances of being not just honest, but transparently open about your intentions, feelings, and mistakes. We explore the profound impact this can have on building trust, fostering accountability, and creating stronger, more informed communities. Whether you're a leader looking to cultivate a more authentic environment or someone seeking deeper personal connections, the insights shared here could be pivotal.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth as we challenge conventional communication habits. Jay encourages listeners to experiment with transparency in their daily interactions, reflecting on its influence and sharing their experiences, whether they are transformative or bring about discomfort. Feel the potential of embracing transparency as a catalyst for personal development, and learn how this practice might just be the key to unlocking meaningful change in your life. Your insights and reflections are not only welcomed but essential, as together we navigate the path to more genuine and impactful communication.
https://iamjayfloyd.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everybody?
Welcome back to another episodeof On Everything.
I am your host, jay Floyd, andI am the curator of what I call
Open Book Media.
Why Open Book?
Because I think the world needsmore transparency.
Transparency, and let's thinkabout that really quick.
(00:23):
Transparency, and let's thinkabout that really quick.
A lot of people talk abouthonesty, but I'm a firm believer
that transparency is even moreimportant and even more powerful
.
All right, so what's thedifference?
Honesty is, whenever I saysomething is going to be true,
(00:45):
because whenever I say something, it's going to be true, right?
If I tell you, if you ask me aquestion, where were you last
night, I'm going to tell youexactly where I was last night.
I'm not going to lie about it.
That's transparency, I'm sorry,that's honesty.
(01:18):
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode ofOn Everything.
I am your host, jay Floyd,podcaster, rapper, actor, author
and the curator of what I callopen book media.
Now, why do I call it open bookmedia?
Man, I'm a firm believer thatthe world needs more
transparency.
Yeah, needs more of that.
(01:39):
I think too many of us stop andstart celebrating and doing a
dance once we learn how to behonest.
Right, that's like step onelearning how to be honest.
What's the difference betweenhonesty and transparency?
Well, let's talk about it.
(02:00):
Honesty is like you know.
Let's say I'm out and I comehome and my wife's like where
were you?
And I tell her exactly where Iwas at.
Boom, I was honest, she asked.
I told her hey, I should getcredit for that, right?
(02:26):
No, because there's anotherlevel of living life and that's
transparency.
Transparency is a littledifferent, and I won't even say
it's nuanced, because there's adecent size of real estate in
between transparency and honesty.
Transparency is I'm going toshare and be open even if I
don't get asked.
Be open even if I don't getasked.
(02:51):
So let's say I go to work andactually I'll take it back to
the last analogy, because I knowa lot of people will they want
the same analogy to be used sothey can view the difference.
So if I'm being honest, my wifeasked me where was I.
I tell her.
But if I come home and I'mbeing transparent, I probably
have already told her where Iwas going.
I probably have already built aconnection and a conversation
(03:14):
where she probably knows whatI'm going through and she may
even know why I'm going whereI'm going.
Maybe I just need to get somefresh air, maybe I'm going
through something I need to talkto somebody, maybe I miss my
best friend, maybe all of thosethings.
These are things.
If I'm being transparent,people are understanding of
(03:35):
those things because I'm alreadyforthcoming with it.
I'm already coming out with it.
Let's go a little bit deeper.
Transparency is the practice ofbeing open, honest and
straightforward in communication, actions and intentions.
It means that you're going toprovide clear and truthful
(03:59):
information, even when it'suncomfortable or difficult, and
it means that you avoid hiddenmotives or agendas.
I can be honest all day andstill have a hidden motive or
agenda.
In fact, that's where a lot ofrelational conflict comes from.
In fact, that's where a lot ofrelational conflict comes from
(04:20):
Because I know for a fact I havecertain intentions or thoughts,
but because you asked me X andI told you the truth about X,
I'm standing on that moral highground.
Instead of digging deeper anddigging into something that we
all know is true and I know it'strue, but because that's not
(04:42):
what you asked me, I'm going tohave a conversation on
incongruent ground.
That's not right and that'swhere a lot of our conflict
comes from.
Look, this is not only apersonal life, this is not only
in marriages.
This is in business, this is inprofessional life, it's in
organizational context.
If you're trying to run abusiness, if you're trying to
(05:05):
lead your career, if you'retrying to be a part or leader of
an organization.
Transparency builds trust, itfosters accountability and it
strengthens relationships,because it creates an
environment where people feellike they are informed.
And then, when people feelinformed, they feel valued.
(05:26):
So what does that look like?
That means, if I'm part of anorganization, I don't just come
in and say here's what we'regoing to do.
No, that means I might issuesomething beforehand and say
here's what I've been, here'swhat I'm thinking about, here's
a problem that we're runningthrough and I will have an
(05:47):
answer or a solution for this bythe end of the quarter, and not
waiting till the quarter endsto say here's what we're going
to do.
Or reaching out and having alistening tour to see where
everybody's pain points are.
What is everybody thinking?
And then taking those thoughts,synthesizing them into action
(06:08):
points and then making that partof my action plan.
Now people know why.
Look in leadership.
Transparency might involvesharing the why behind your
decisions, being up front aboutyour challenges and and this is
the one that's probably the mostunpopular you gotta admit when
(06:31):
you make a mistake.
That's part of transparency.
That's why I said there's a lotof real estate between
transparency and honesty.
I gotta be up front aboutmaking a mistake.
I said there's a lot of realestate between transparency and
honesty.
I got to be up front aboutmaking a mistake.
I got to be forthcoming.
I might even share a mistakethat I made in private.
Nobody saw it.
I don't have to share it, but Ido.
(06:57):
And look in relationships.
It means you have to openlycommunicate your feelings, your
expectations.
Bros, come on.
I know for men, man, this is sohard.
I know for me as a leader, thisis something that took me into
my 30s to learn in marriage.
It took me into my 40s to learnin my career and it took me
(07:24):
still later into my 40s to takeit as a leader and as a leader
of men and a leader of people,that expectations are huge.
You have to set expectations, beclear about your own
expectations, because everybodyhas them.
You can duck and dodge all youwant and not want to talk about
(07:46):
them.
I know when I was younger Ididn't want to talk about them
because I was uncomfortable withhaving to meet them.
I was uncomfortable withlearning how to set my own
expectations.
I was real bad at that.
I would just go into things andnot expect anything for myself.
I sucked at it right.
So because I was bad at it, Iavoided it.
(08:10):
But that causes a situationwhere trust cannot be built.
Trust is not just about oh, youdon't trust me, you think I
would do something bad to you.
It's not just about somebodythinking you would do something
bad to them.
It's about somebody thinkingyou don't value me enough as a
(08:31):
wife, as a husband, as aboyfriend, as a girlfriend, as
an employee, as a member of yourorganization.
You don't value me enough tokeep me informed.
You don't value me enough totell me the why behind decisions
.
There has to be that,expectations have to be put out.
(08:52):
And, lastly, transparency isreally about creating clarity,
fostering mutual understandingby being authentic and
forthright.
I want to dig into that sentencea little bit more, because
these are the kind of words thatbounce around and I really
don't think culture and societybuilds these words, builds an
(09:16):
environment that helps us fullyunderstand what these words mean
Creating clarity.
To create clarity, the firstthing I got to do is learn how
to talk, learn how to speak,learn how to communicate
effectively and powerfully.
Yes, that's all of us.
(09:39):
That's learning like taking aclass, taking a course, being
mentored.
Learning how to communicatewith clarity is important.
Creating clarity means I got tolearn how to speak.
It means I got to learn how tolisten.
That's how you create clarity.
(10:00):
I'm listening well.
I'm also speaking back to you.
Well.
And here's the third part, andthis is the part where I think
everything falls apart for somany of us.
When we feel like there may beconfusion or lack of clarity, or
(10:21):
maybe we even have any kind ofinkling that there might not be
alignment, you got to dosomething about it.
If I say blah, blah, blah andsomebody else says blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, and I can tellin that interaction that they
may not have properly understoodme, I need to go back to it and
(10:46):
maybe even ask them are weclear?
Is this what you got out of it?
That is creating clarity.
Too many times in society, wejust say what we want to say,
somebody else doesn't get it andwe feel like that's on them.
It's not on them.
It's mutual understanding,mutual.
We have to foster mutualunderstanding.
(11:09):
We should always want everyconversation, interaction and
relationship to have alignmentand clarity.
You should always want that.
You shouldn't think, oh well,I'm talking to my boss and we
don't get along, so it alwaysgoes this way.
No, it doesn't have to go thisway.
It doesn't have to.
(11:31):
And I'm telling you and this maybe an unpopular take, but if
you are complaining about yourjob and you're complaining that
you don't make enough money, Ican guarantee you part of the
reason is that you don't havethe skills to extract yourself
from those kind of situations,so you don't have the skills to
earn more money.
Sometimes earning more money,sometimes earning more money, is
(11:53):
about earning yourself into anew bracket, a new bracket of
trust, a new bracket of respect,a new bracket of skills.
And if you ain't got it yet,you don't deserve the money yet.
So you can complain all day,but until you go back to square
one and teach yourself, learnhow to communicate, learn how to
(12:18):
listen, build clarity, createclarity, you should be able to
sit back and think to yourself.
In your interactions throughoutlife, whether it's in your
marriage, whether it's in yourfriendships, relationships,
whether it's with your boss atyour job, whatever it is,
(12:39):
whether people at church to sitnext to you and you should be
able to say I create clarity inmy conversations, in my
interactions.
When I have a thought or doubtthat maybe we're not all on the
same page, I don't just walkaway and go complain to somebody
(13:00):
else about it.
I don't just walk away andexpect the worst and wait for it
all to fall down.
I contribute positively togetting this all on the same
page.
These are all part of thedefinition of transparency and
that is the reason why, like Isaid in the first part of this
(13:20):
podcast, I am the curator ofOpen Book Media.
Open Book Media is abouttransparency.
Everything that I do is goingto be geared towards trying to
build and foster more opentransparency in our culture and
in our society.
And if you like that, I thinkyou're going to like what I have
(13:41):
to deliver.
I think you're going to likesome of the products.
I think you're going to likesome of the content.
I think you're going to dig it.
You're rocking with us.
If that's the case, man, goahead and click like, click like
, click.
Subscribe you rocking with us.
If that's the case, man, goahead and click like, click like
, click, subscribe, follow us,do all those things, do the
things, do the podcast things,if you like that.
Yeah, transparency A big gapbetween transparency and honesty
(14:09):
.
Transparency is what we shouldbe shooting for y'all Give it a
try, give it a few days.
Should be shooting for y'allGive it a try, give it a few
days and let me know what y'allfeel about it.
Let me know if you disagree.
Let me know if you feelchallenged, if you feel
uncomfortable by what I'm saying.
I hope so, because anytime youfeel uncomfortable, that means
growth is coming One way or theother.
Growth is coming.
(14:30):
So, yeah, hit me up, let meknow what you think.
Can't wait to talk to y'all.
Love y'all, peace.
What's up everybody?
Welcome back to another episodeof On Everything.
I am your host, jay Floyd, andI am the curator of what I call
Open Book Media.
Why Open Book?
Because I think the world needsmore transparency.
Transparency, and let's thinkabout that really quick.
(00:23):
Transparency, and let's thinkabout that really quick.
A lot of people talk abouthonesty, but I'm a firm believer
that transparency is even moreimportant and even more powerful
.
All right, so what's thedifference?
Honesty is, whenever I saysomething is going to be true,
(00:45):
because whenever I say something, it's going to be true, right?
If I tell you, if you ask me aquestion, where were you last
night, I'm going to tell youexactly where I was last night.
I'm not going to lie about it.
That's transparency, I'm sorry,that's honesty.
(01:18):
What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode ofOn Everything.
I am your host, jay Floyd,podcaster, rapper, actor, author
and the curator of what I callopen book media.
Now, why do I call it open bookmedia?
Man, I'm a firm believer thatthe world needs more
transparency.
Yeah, needs more of that.
(01:39):
I think too many of us stop andstart celebrating and doing a
dance once we learn how to behonest.
Right, that's like step onelearning how to be honest.
What's the difference betweenhonesty and transparency?
Well, let's talk about it.
(02:00):
Honesty is like you know.
Let's say I'm out and I comehome and my wife's like where
were you?
And I tell her exactly where Iwas at.
Boom, I was honest, she asked.
I told her hey, I should getcredit for that, right?
(02:26):
No, because there's anotherlevel of living life and that's
transparency.
Transparency is a littledifferent, and I won't even say
it's nuanced, because there's adecent size of real estate in
between transparency and honesty.
Transparency is I'm going toshare and be open even if I
don't get asked.
Be open even if I don't getasked.
(02:51):
So let's say I go to work andactually I'll take it back to
the last analogy, because I knowa lot of people will they want
the same analogy to be used sothey can view the difference.
So if I'm being honest, my wifeasked me where was I.
I tell her.
But if I come home and I'mbeing transparent, I probably
have already told her where Iwas going.
I probably have already built aconnection and a conversation
(03:14):
where she probably knows whatI'm going through and she may
even know why I'm going whereI'm going.
Maybe I just need to get somefresh air, maybe I'm going
through something I need to talkto somebody, maybe I miss my
best friend, maybe all of thosethings.
These are things.
If I'm being transparent,people are understanding of
(03:35):
those things because I'm alreadyforthcoming with it.
I'm already coming out with it.
Let's go a little bit deeper.
Transparency is the practice ofbeing open, honest and
straightforward in communication, actions and intentions.
It means that you're going toprovide clear and truthful
(03:59):
information, even when it'suncomfortable or difficult, and
it means that you avoid hiddenmotives or agendas.
I can be honest all day andstill have a hidden motive or
agenda.
In fact, that's where a lot ofrelational conflict comes from.
In fact, that's where a lot ofrelational conflict comes from
(04:20):
Because I know for a fact I havecertain intentions or thoughts,
but because you asked me X andI told you the truth about X,
I'm standing on that moral highground.
Instead of digging deeper anddigging into something that we
all know is true and I know it'strue, but because that's not
(04:42):
what you asked me, I'm going tohave a conversation on
incongruent ground.
That's not right and that'swhere a lot of our conflict
comes from.
Look, this is not only apersonal life, this is not only
in marriages.
This is in business, this is inprofessional life, it's in
organizational context.
If you're trying to run abusiness, if you're trying to
(05:05):
lead your career, if you'retrying to be a part or leader of
an organization.
Transparency builds trust, itfosters accountability and it
strengthens relationships,because it creates an
environment where people feellike they are informed.
And then, when people feelinformed, they feel valued.
(05:26):
So what does that look like?
That means, if I'm part of anorganization, I don't just come
in and say here's what we'regoing to do.
No, that means I might issuesomething beforehand and say
here's what I've been, here'swhat I'm thinking about, here's
a problem that we're runningthrough and I will have an
(05:47):
answer or a solution for this bythe end of the quarter, and not
waiting till the quarter endsto say here's what we're going
to do.
Or reaching out and having alistening tour to see where
everybody's pain points are.
What is everybody thinking?
And then taking those thoughts,synthesizing them into action
(06:08):
points and then making that partof my action plan.
Now people know why.
Look in leadership.
Transparency might involvesharing the why behind your
decisions, being up front aboutyour challenges and and this is
the one that's probably the mostunpopular you gotta admit when
(06:31):
you make a mistake.
That's part of transparency.
That's why I said there's a lotof real estate between
transparency and honesty.
I gotta be up front aboutmaking a mistake.
I said there's a lot of realestate between transparency and
honesty.
I got to be up front aboutmaking a mistake.
I got to be forthcoming.
I might even share a mistakethat I made in private.
Nobody saw it.
I don't have to share it, but Ido.
(06:57):
And look in relationships.
It means you have to openlycommunicate your feelings, your
expectations.
Bros, come on.
I know for men, man, this is sohard.
I know for me as a leader, thisis something that took me into
my 30s to learn in marriage.
It took me into my 40s to learnin my career and it took me
(07:24):
still later into my 40s to takeit as a leader and as a leader
of men and a leader of people,that expectations are huge.
You have to set expectations, beclear about your own
expectations, because everybodyhas them.
You can duck and dodge all youwant and not want to talk about
(07:46):
them.
I know when I was younger Ididn't want to talk about them
because I was uncomfortable withhaving to meet them.
I was uncomfortable withlearning how to set my own
expectations.
I was real bad at that.
I would just go into things andnot expect anything for myself.
I sucked at it right.
So because I was bad at it, Iavoided it.
(08:10):
But that causes a situationwhere trust cannot be built.
Trust is not just about oh, youdon't trust me, you think I
would do something bad to you.
It's not just about somebodythinking you would do something
bad to them.
It's about somebody thinkingyou don't value me enough as a
(08:31):
wife, as a husband, as aboyfriend, as a girlfriend, as
an employee, as a member of yourorganization.
You don't value me enough tokeep me informed.
You don't value me enough totell me the why behind decisions
.
There has to be that,expectations have to be put out.
(08:52):
And, lastly, transparency isreally about creating clarity,
fostering mutual understandingby being authentic and
forthright.
I want to dig into that sentencea little bit more, because
these are the kind of words thatbounce around and I really
don't think culture and societybuilds these words, builds an
(09:16):
environment that helps us fullyunderstand what these words mean
Creating clarity.
To create clarity, the firstthing I got to do is learn how
to talk, learn how to speak,learn how to communicate
effectively and powerfully.
Yes, that's all of us.
(09:39):
That's learning like taking aclass, taking a course, being
mentored.
Learning how to communicatewith clarity is important.
Creating clarity means I got tolearn how to speak.
It means I got to learn how tolisten.
That's how you create clarity.
(10:00):
I'm listening well.
I'm also speaking back to you.
Well.
And here's the third part, andthis is the part where I think
everything falls apart for somany of us.
When we feel like there may beconfusion or lack of clarity, or
(10:21):
maybe we even have any kind ofinkling that there might not be
alignment, you got to dosomething about it.
If I say blah, blah, blah andsomebody else says blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, and I can tellin that interaction that they
may not have properly understoodme, I need to go back to it and
(10:46):
maybe even ask them are weclear?
Is this what you got out of it?
That is creating clarity.
Too many times in society, wejust say what we want to say,
somebody else doesn't get it andwe feel like that's on them.
It's not on them.
It's mutual understanding,mutual.
We have to foster mutualunderstanding.
(11:09):
We should always want everyconversation, interaction and
relationship to have alignmentand clarity.
You should always want that.
You shouldn't think, oh well,I'm talking to my boss and we
don't get along, so it alwaysgoes this way.
No, it doesn't have to go thisway.
It doesn't have to.
(11:31):
And I'm telling you and this maybe an unpopular take, but if
you are complaining about yourjob and you're complaining that
you don't make enough money, Ican guarantee you part of the
reason is that you don't havethe skills to extract yourself
from those kind of situations,so you don't have the skills to
earn more money.
Sometimes earning more money,sometimes earning more money, is
(11:53):
about earning yourself into anew bracket, a new bracket of
trust, a new bracket of respect,a new bracket of skills.
And if you ain't got it yet,you don't deserve the money yet.
So you can complain all day,but until you go back to square
one and teach yourself, learnhow to communicate, learn how to
(12:18):
listen, build clarity, createclarity, you should be able to
sit back and think to yourself.
In your interactions throughoutlife, whether it's in your
marriage, whether it's in yourfriendships, relationships,
whether it's with your boss atyour job, whatever it is,
(12:39):
whether people at church to sitnext to you and you should be
able to say I create clarity inmy conversations, in my
interactions.
When I have a thought or doubtthat maybe we're not all on the
same page, I don't just walkaway and go complain to somebody
(13:00):
else about it.
I don't just walk away andexpect the worst and wait for it
all to fall down.
I contribute positively togetting this all on the same
page.
These are all part of thedefinition of transparency and
that is the reason why, like Isaid in the first part of this
(13:20):
podcast, I am the curator ofOpen Book Media.
Open Book Media is abouttransparency.
Everything that I do is goingto be geared towards trying to
build and foster more opentransparency in our culture and
in our society.
And if you like that, I thinkyou're going to like what I have
(13:41):
to deliver.
I think you're going to likesome of the products.
I think you're going to likesome of the content.
I think you're going to dig it.
You're rocking with us.
If that's the case, man, goahead and click like, click like
, click.
Subscribe you rocking with us.
If that's the case, man, goahead and click like, click like
, click, subscribe, follow us,do all those things, do the
things, do the podcast things,if you like that.
Yeah, transparency A big gapbetween transparency and honesty
(14:09):
.
Transparency is what we shouldbe shooting for y'all Give it a
try, give it a few days.
Should be shooting for y'allGive it a try, give it a few
days and let me know what y'allfeel about it.
Let me know if you disagree.
Let me know if you feelchallenged, if you feel
uncomfortable by what I'm saying.
I hope so, because anytime youfeel uncomfortable, that means
growth is coming One way or theother.
Growth is coming.
(14:30):
So, yeah, hit me up, let meknow what you think.
Can't wait to talk to y'all.
Love y'all, peace.
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