February 24, 2025 • 55 mins
Foster care crisis, systemic neglect, shocking statistics, death row, traffic fatalities, urgent reform, social justice.
Lisa’s journey is a testament to resilience and the power to create change.
After enduring 36 foster homes and facing homelessness at 18, she refuses to let the system’s failures define her future. Now, she’s taking action to reform the very system that let her down—despite the critics.
This episode explores the urgent need for foster care reform, the challenges young people face, and how we can all be part of the solution. From breaking barriers to celebrating success stories, it’s about turning struggle into impact. Plus, every dollar raised goes directly toward making a real difference—because awareness alone isn’t enough.
Join the movement for change!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers and
game changers.
This is for those of you thatare starting with nothing and
using business to change theirstars, motivating people who
disrupted industry standards.
This is the real side ofbusiness.
This isn't Shark Tank.
My aim with this podcast is totake away some of the imaginary
(00:22):
roadblocks that are out there.
I want to help more underdogs,because underdogs are truly who
change the world.
This is part of our Content forGood initiative.
All the proceeds from themonetization of this podcast
will go to charitable causes.
It's for the person that wantsit.
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of Underdogs,
(00:45):
bootstrappers, game Changers and, once again, folks.
I am so excited to have my dearfriend Lisa here today, and it
happens to be Lisa's birthday.
Oh goodness, we don't have totell everybody and here's Lisa's
birthday present being onUnderdogs, and so Lisa happens
to be in town because we have ameeting for our foundation
(01:06):
tomorrow that we're starting, Um, and so I thought it prudent to
have a discussion around how tochange things right and how to
think of things a little bitdifferent and how to immerse
into systems and how to get theright people involved in
changing something, Um, and sowhat I hope you get out of this
episode today is a different wayto look at the things of this
world that you might want toimpact, Um.
(01:28):
That being said, I want towelcome Lisa officially.
Um and uh, Lisa, I know we haveto start at the start, right,
and so I know that it's notalways easy, um, to do that, and
I'm starting to just throw youinto that pit, but I think it's
important because I think you'resuch an underdog bootstrapper
and game changer you know, andso I want the audience to know
(01:51):
that as well and why.
And so, if you would, can youtell me a little bit about, like
the way you grew up and howthat's impacted you so?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
far.
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I guessthat's why I'm here, um, trying
trying to make a change, make adifference.
It's because I I started out mylife Um not so great.
I went, uh was born with, youknow, parents who are addicts,
and uh went into foster care attwo and then I went through 36
(02:24):
foster homes and I had somepretty terrible experiences and
then at 18, I aged out and I washomeless.
And I don't like that societydoes that.
I don't enjoy that and I wantto make people aware.
Like we're sending kids throughthis system and then we're
(02:46):
sending them out on their own tobe homeless and there's no,
there's just there's nothing forthem.
And so that's why you and I arehere, hopefully to make a
change and make a difference and, um, just change the way the
system is doing things.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
There's so many things with you that like I just
absolutely adore, you know.
And then also you bring outlike the protective nature in me
because I see you especially inlike comments and stuff.
Like I can't believe, like thecontent you put out is like I
want to help kids you know, andthen, like this, the, the trash
people spit back at you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It frustrates me on another level.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You know it's like.
I'm not like.
You can make fun of me all youwant and people do.
You know it's like, but itaffects me, especially when I'm
see you doing good work and thenlike people are in the comments
like saying horrible things toyou.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I mean, yeah, people, people are super brave behind a
keyboard.
I think they just they don't.
I don't really think they evenmean it honestly.
Honestly, they say justhorrible, terrible comments and
I'm like I really don't thinkthey mean it.
I think they just and folks.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Just so you know the type of content Lisa produces is
.
She's a big voice for fosteradvocacy and she's not saying
she's not downplaying yourfavorite sports team.
She's not really takingpolitical arguments.
I mean, you do a little yourfavorite sports team.
She's not like really takingpolitical arguments.
I mean you do a little bitsometimes, but mostly it's like
hey, we need to change thissystem for foster kids and
people are like attacking you inthe comments over that and it's
(04:14):
just crazy to me.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
They're like, you're ugly.
I'm like, okay, cool, cool, butcan you donate or are you going
to help?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
It's so frustrating to me because, like I, I try to
like help people that have avoice.
There's a.
I'm going to drop this storybecause I think this is you in a
way.
Um, there was this guy and helooks like a hillbilly.
He's actually kind of missingsome teeth and stuff.
He's on a Tik TOK and, uh, he'sgot big red beard.
You know, he actually kind oflooks like me in a way.
You know it was like prettyhillbilly looking Right and uh,
(04:42):
and he's like can you believethey made the little mermaid
black, right?
And then all of a sudden itshows these clips of videos and,
uh, it's all these black girlscrying, seeing princess area
being black.
She looks like me, you know,it's like all this stuff.
And in the end he is like cryingand he's like, if you can't
appreciate that you're aheartless mother, effer, you
(05:04):
know, and so Representationmatters.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It matters so much.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He was the right voice for that, because you
expected this hillbilly thoughtabout him and he just completely
180'd you.
And I'm not saying you're ahillbilly different voice, it's
in a different way but you're,to me, the right voice for the
message that's out there aroundfoster care advocacy.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm trying.
I'm trying because you're notit gets, it gets hard, it gets
rough, and I got to take breaks,but well, I can't stop.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
What people don't know about you is you're so
brave and I love one of yourfavorite uh, uh, one of my
favorite comments that you'veever made is like I survived out
of spite.
Yes and I tell people all thetime that you have this like
under glowing like fire in you.
That's feisty, that I love, andyou're the type of person
that's going to change thissystem.
And when I looked at that youbeing the proper person for the
message and for you know whatyou've been through, um, and
(05:56):
then like what you're doing I'mlike I got to support this
person.
Anyway, I can.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It goes back to like representation, representation
matters, and I've been in somany like foster care advocacy
meetings where it's just a bunchof people sitting in a room
who've never experienced fostercare and I mean sure you can
have an opinion on it but youdon't understand it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And you can't fix it from that way.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
No, because they don't get it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
No, you know, here's another example and not to make
this all about me, but it's likeI like to bring messages home
and it's like I hated, hated,hated the kill shelters.
Animal kill shelters.
Huge, huge lover of animals,I'm like how can they have these
places on the planet that arethese animal kill shelters?
And when I get curious aboutsomething or angry about
something, I have to getinvolved with it.
(06:44):
So I ended up spending fiveyears volunteering at an animal
kill shelter because I had tounderstand it.
You know it's like and what Irealized, it was in the clinic
there.
They liked me because I canactually pick up the big dogs
while they're asleep from theneutering surgeries, and so, um,
I realized that everybody therewas animal lovers and nothing
against no kill shelters either,but it's basically when they
(07:05):
don't have enough room, theyjust close the door, Right.
And so the real problem was Iwas hating kill shelters.
That wasn't the issue.
It's the fact that we don'tadopt animals, Right.
You know it's like that was thereal problem, but how, if we
were solving that?
I hate kill shelters and we'reclosing those down, which is the
last stop at the end for thedogs.
Anyways, you know it's likethey don't want to kill dogs
(07:25):
there.
I can tell you that right now,but it's like we were fixing the
problem wrong.
If I had started fixing problemthen and that's why it's like
having you involved, you know,with like foster connections is
like imperative in my mindbecause you know the system
better than any of us can.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, I mean you have to have representation If
you're going to change something.
If you're in a room talkingabout foster care, you need to
have people who've been throughfoster care Agreed.
Just having foster parentsgreat, they have a unique
understanding, but they stilldon't have the right perspective
to make actual positive changes.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
There's a point.
Foster Connection's goal atthis point is to combine
resources that are currentlyavailable for kids out there.
Right, Because it's like I atelunch with the dean of my
business school not too long agoand she's like Tyler, ASU is
free for foster kids.
Problem is they don't know aboutit and they don't know how to
utilize it Right and so, like,our goal with foster connections
is basically to combine thoseamazing resources and help them
(08:23):
utilize those resources.
And Lisa brought up an amazingpoint.
Do you remember the point youbrought up around like, uh, what
we would need to do first toeven have an impact.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
What do you mean?
No, maybe.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I mean nobody would have thought of this.
But you're like, hey, we needto get them an ID and a birth
certificate.
They can't even be involvedwith the systems that are
available if they don't havethose things.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Well, that's that's.
The thing is, uh, you don'tknow what you don't know, and
when you go through foster care,there's so many things that
you're not taught that like Iguess quote unquote normal kids
would have been taught and youhave to start at the beginning
and it's really difficult forpeople who, who don't have have
a concept of it.
So, yeah, getting an ID, thatseems like common knowledge, but
(09:08):
when you go through foster careand you age out at 18, that's
one you probably don't even havemoney to go get an ID.
You've got to spend money toget money.
It's insane.
And they don't have a resume ora birth certificate or a social
security card and in order toget a job, you need all of those
(09:29):
things.
But in order to get thosethings, you need a job to pay
for them and it's.
It's this really weird cyclewhere there's people they've
people find it so hard to belike, like, why is this
difficult?
Why are they struggling?
Why are so many?
(09:51):
Why are so many foster teenshomeless?
And it's just because they're.
They're so far removed from thesituation.
They can't.
They can't understand, likethese little nuances of you know
, getting your ID or getting asocial security card, and it
seems so easy to people, butwhen you're in that situation
it's not easy.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Kids don't know how to advocate for themselves.
I mean, my brother went to goto college and he walked in and
tried to get financial aid likeanybody would, and they denied
him.
And then I heard about this andluckily I had gotten a little
confidence by then and I went inthere and I don't take no for
an answer at that point.
Very well, and um, I'm like,hey, why did you deny my brother
(10:27):
for financial aid?
And they're like well, we needyour parents, um, uh, tax
returns.
And I'm like my dad's been inprison for 15 years and my mom's
never had a job in her life.
You know, if this system isn'tbuilt for somebody like my
brother, who's it built for?
But the problem is and that'swhy I understand this about what
you're talking about is becausemy brother's 18 years old.
(10:47):
They told him no, he didn'tthink he could argue or do
anything else he wasn't going toadvocate.
And not everybody has an olderbrother to go in there and fight
and guess what?
He had financial aid in threehours after.
I did that, you know, and likethat's where it was like to me
was an aha moment, cause thesekids okay, oh, there's a bunch
of things out there for them,tyler, you know it's like yeah,
but they don't know how toutilize them.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
They don't.
They don't.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And they take no for an answer too quickly.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yes, and I said this the other day.
I did a, I did a speech theother day for foster youth and I
said don't stop at the first no, ask and keep asking, cause for
everybody that every 10 peoplethat tell you know, there's
going to be one that's going totell you yes, and that was my.
That was a mistake that I made.
You know, coming into adulthood, like I got denied for so many
(11:32):
things like food stamps.
I tried to get food stamps andthey're like no, and I was like
okay yeah.
And I was like I guess I'll juststart, but I, I didn't know how
to advocate for myself, I justI, they said no to me and I just
accepted that.
And um, that's one thing that Ireally, really try to like
impart on on children that I, orteens that I talk to now, is
(11:57):
how, how to somewhat advocatefor yourself and like, if you
get told no, just keep trying.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I was listening to stat this morning that 30% of
like millennials I think it'smillennials, uh are bringing
their parents with them to jobinterview.
It's like, okay, think aboutthat.
You know it's like and nowwe're expecting some poor foster
kid.
That's never actually.
And we treat the poordifferently too.
Oh, we, we treat them in a waythat there's this popper
mentality to being poor, and Ionly know because I've
progressed through it.
(12:25):
You know it's like okay, theauthority tells you you're not
allowed to do this and youbelieve it, right, you don't
advocate for it.
It's a weird psychology, youknow, but it's, it's true.
And so these kids are like,okay, no means no.
It's like.
Until they get to the pointwhere no doesn't mean no, and
that's where I hope fosterconnection kind of had to step
into.
It's like hey, you don't havethe older brother, you don't
(12:45):
have the parent.
You know it's like somebodyneeds to help you like
understand that Like no, itdoesn't always mean no.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
And well, yeah, people need to like mentors or
it's.
It's just so.
It's so difficult because whenyou grow up in foster care like
most of the time it's not youknow, you don't have a good
situation, you and you learnquickly not to push back.
Yeah, like you don't talk backto authority, you don't like,
you don't push back, or you knowsomething bad is going to
(13:13):
happen.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Cause we call it pushing back instead of
advocating for yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, or or talking back, or being defiant.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They call it many different things.
But when you go through thatand then you become an adult,
then it's like, how do Iadvocate for myself safely, like
cause, you know, as a kid I waslike if I said something, the
wrong thing, I'm going to getbackhanded.
So I learned quickly like maybeI shouldn't do that and you
have to change that entiremindset, that entire mentality
(13:42):
of like just being an adult.
Like I didn't know that I wasan adult.
It was super weird.
Like I turned 18 and I was like,okay, I'm like a grownup, but I
was still afraid of adults.
Like I was terrified of likeauthority figures and it took me
a really long time to realizethat, like I'm an adult, I can
(14:03):
say things, I can do what I wantand I can I can say no.
Like it took me a really longtime to realize that like just
coming into adulthood and I Ihope that the teens that I talk
to now like um, I hope that Ican give them some of that Like
like you're safe, you're anadult, like you can, you know
(14:25):
you're allowed to make your owndecisions, you have free will.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Do me a favor and tell people about the age out
issue, cause I don't think mostpeople know.
Can you tell me a little bit,yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, we have 20,000 youth age out of foster care
every year and people talk somuch about homelessness.
It's really, there's a lot ofnegative ideas around
homelessness, but we have onesystem that's putting out 20,000
youth every year and 50% ofthem will be homeless.
(14:55):
So we have one system that'sputting out 10,000 homeless
people every single year.
And, uh, you, we have theseteens who are you know, they
turn 18 and they show up totheir foster home and they're
like, oh, you know, you don'tlive here anymore and they're
just instantly homeless andthere's no resources.
(15:16):
There's the you know, fostercare, generally probably paid
for their entire life.
And then they turn 18 and then,all of a sudden, there's no
insurance, there's there's noanything.
And there are.
There are some systems like inplace, like independent living
program.
Um, they're state-run,state-funded, but they have
(15:38):
barriers and that's a problemwith, like a lot of
organizations or governmentalorganizations.
They have a whole lot ofbarriers and we have these kids
who've gone through like immenseamounts of trauma and we're
going to put up these barriers,like, okay, if you have an
addiction, if you have mentalhealth problems, like you're not
(16:03):
, you don't qualify for thisprogram.
And those addictions and thosemental health problems.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
They come from foster , care, like foster, care
created that and so give methose stats too that get us both
in trouble, the ones that gotme banned from Instagram,
basically uh, the, the, thedeath row one, yeah, Uh, what?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
what was it 80?
No, 90, right, I think it's 90%of the 90% of the people on
death row in California camefrom foster care.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah.
And it's um and then tell meabout the trafficking.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, 80% of the children um rescued from
trafficking came from fostercare, and then, when it moves to
adults, it's 90% of the womenwho are trafficking survivors
spent time in foster care.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
That's what's so crazy to me, and it's crazy that
I've been kind of likeblacklisted from Instagram for
like quoting some of those stats.
You know it's like if we're notputting this messaging out in
the world, because even if youdon't care about kids folks, you
know it's like shame on you forfirst of all, but even if you
don't like, look at the impactson society, right, it's like.
And when I like, what kind ofgot me into all this is?
(17:17):
I volunteered for five years ata foster care home and learned
a lot about it, Um, an amazingone here in town, and then I
spent a very, very small amountof time.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I told you I met, I met two kids from there.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That said good things about it yeah.
No, it's amazing facility, youknow, and I was proud to be out
there.
You know, I met, uh, I'veworked with a lot of the kids
and stuff and so, um, they'redoing it right in my opinion,
you know.
And so I and I love since I'm abusiness guy, uh, through the
core, I love the fact that theytake in donations of furniture.
So they take in your furnituredonations, they sell those and
(17:52):
those make a decent chunk ofmoney that partially funds the
home every year and it's morelike I should take you out there
.
It's more like a neighborhood.
You know, it doesn't look likeany sort of facility and I had a
youth incarceration group inhere I'm advising for marketing
or, excuse me, for groups, quiteoften charities, and they have
been a drop that like when wedon't have anywhere for the kids
(18:13):
to go, when there's no room,kind of like the animal shelter
problem.
It's like although it's not, Iguess, fair to compare it, but
it's still it's like nowhere forthe kids to go.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
They go to youth incarceration centers despite
having done nothing wrong, andthat horrified me.
Well and then, well and thenthey expect you like to be good,
quote, unquote, and it's likehere, go to jail and now be good
.
Yeah, and it's like you'reangry.
You're mad, you're angry.
I remember like getting sent tothese group homes and I was so
angry I was, so I didn't doanything.
And so then I'm mad and I'mlike I'm running away or I'm
leaving, I'm not coming backhere.
(18:49):
This is ridiculous.
And then I get punished and I'mlike I'm being punished for
doing nothing and then I getupset about it.
And now I'm punished for beingupset about about being here for
no reason In Portland actuallythey are, they were.
They're putting kids in hotelrooms, um, foster kids.
They have.
No, they don't have homes.
(19:10):
So they're putting them inhotel rooms, like together.
And it's it's insane.
They they purchased a um, theypurchased a closed down juvenile
hall facility like detentioncenter and they're putting
foster kids in there Like they.
They redid it.
I guess they're trying toremodel it, but I mean, these
(19:31):
kids have gone through horriblethings like like probably the
worst thing you can imagine,right being taken away from your
parents.
And all of a sudden it's like,okay, we're going to put you in
here, like we, we painted thewalls.
So you know, here's your jailcell, but there's paint on the
walls, it's, it's terrible.
And then, and that that goesinto that whole, you know the
(19:54):
the foster care to prisonpipeline.
You know what they, what theycall it, because if that's what
you know, you know you're beingput in a juvie facility and
you're institutionalized.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You start by being raised by shit parents and then
you're taken away from the shitparents and then you're put into
a place that's horrifying,right, basically like a prison,
and then, like 18 years old,you're kicked out on the street.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Well, yeah, survive, exactly.
And then you're going to bestealing or dealing or doing
whatever you have to do tosurvive, and you don't know any
better.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You don't know any better.
Yeah, and it's something that Ithink people have a hard time
recognizing.
We want to villainize homelesspeople so much Like they're like
, oh, most of them want to behomeless.
Most of them they're addicts.
Or I'm not going to give themmoney, they're going to spend it
on drugs.
Like these are kids, they'reyou know, they just turned 18.
(20:59):
They're children.
And then we can't.
We can't keep villainizingpeople for things that were
never their fault.
You know, foster kids didn'task to be foster kids.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
They didn't ask to have a shitty life or shitty
parents.
And you have to find somekindness Like people when you
think about foster kids.
That's one thing I really amtrying to change.
When you think about fosterkids, people are like, oh, I
don't want a teenager, I'mafraid Something is wrong with
them, and I'm trying to change.
When you think about fosterkids, people are like, oh, I
don't want a teenager, I'mafraid there's something is
wrong with them.
And I'm like you're so close,you recognize that, like foster
care is traumatic, but you'renot going to do anything about
(21:32):
it.
You're just going to say Idon't want a teenager.
That you know, they've beenthrough so much and you're so
close, you're so close to seeing, you're so close to seeing it,
but are like you're almost there, Almost there.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I know we glanced over your history a little bit I
want to talk about.
There's a documentary out there.
What's the name of thedocumentary?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
again, it's called Playground.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Your sister is the main focus of the documentary.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
She is yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
George Clooney helped produce it.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
He did.
He was their co-producer.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
And then, like so, the impact.
I watched that documentary.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It took me a long time to watch it.
When I found out about it,TikTok helped me find out about
it actually.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Is that right?
Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Somebody was like your sister's in this
documentary and I was likethat's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Is it easy enough for you to break down what the
documentary is about, or do youwant me to do it?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, no, I can.
So well, I'll start from thebeginning.
I guess my sister and I wereseparated in foster care and
when TikTok became a thing, Ithink it was like 2020, maybe
2021.
I put out this video where Iwas like looking for my sister
and I told TikTok I was likehere's these pictures that I
have.
My sister and I were separatedin foster care and I don't know
(22:49):
where she's at.
And somebody wrote me a messageand they were like I've seen
your sister in a documentary.
And I was like it was probably,I think maybe one in the morning
and I got this message and Ilooked up this documentary
called playground and there wasa picture of me and my sister,
(23:09):
there was a picture of us likeon the trailer, and I was so
confused and, um, my, my sisterhad gotten trafficked.
At 11 years old she wasabducted and trafficked to
Canada.
Actually, she was taken from amall in Portland, oregon and, uh
, traffic to Canada and therewas this entire documentary with
(23:31):
pictures of me and pictures ofher and just really going over
like our life and our historyand the things that led her into
being trafficked, and it was socrazy to me.
It was so crazy to me Like thefoster care system.
They just one day in, like theearly 2000,.
(23:51):
They were like you can't seeyour sister anymore and I was
like why?
I don't understand, and I neversaw her again.
I never saw her again.
But with the help of Tik TOK, Ifound the documentary and I
found a police officer actuallyso she was.
She was rescued fromtrafficking and the foster care
system put her.
They just locked her away in apsych ward.
(24:12):
And I found this police officer, rescued from trafficking, and
the foster care system put her.
They just locked her away in apsych ward and um I found this
police officer in Oakland who,through tick tock like, went in
on her own.
She went and found my sister umat this homeless camp in
Oakland and I was able to havelike a FaceTime video chat with
my sister.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Um, she's definitely suffering from her, like the
effects of her trauma.
Um, but it was, yeah, it wascrazy, it was absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, they don't get that far in the documentary
obviously, and then there's beena lot of years since then.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
But yeah, and then I think it was 2014 it was made.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
There's some stuff in there that's so graphic we
can't even I don't think youhave on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, it is.
It was really hard for me tobring myself to watch it.
Some people from TikTok wouldsend me pictures of my sister,
cause I haven't seen her since Iwas eight years old.
That was the last time I saw herand some people sent me
pictures of her and I I justlike broke down and I lost it
and I was.
It took me so long to watch thedocumentary but like millions
(25:17):
of people watched it and it, ittook me weeks before I could
like sit down and bring myselfto watch it.
And, um, it's so weird becausethe the journalist like she, she
went to like my childhood homeand she found my neighbors.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And they would talk about, you know, three little
girls, which was me and mysisters, and they would talk.
They were like, yeah, we knewthey were being abused, we knew
they were being hurt, and so thedocumentary goes really deep
into my childhood.
And so the documentary goesreally deep into my childhood
and I felt, I remember, after Iput it on TikTok, like I think
(25:59):
it was like, you know, thousandsof people watched it.
Millions of people have seenthe documentary and when I
finally did watch it, I was, Ifelt so vulnerable and so
exposed and it really made mewant.
I want to tell my story my wayyeah and it was so weird to me
that somebody could just comeand like use my life like for
(26:22):
their fame or you know yeah andI was like I want to tell my
story myself, I want to be incharge of my story, because it
was really weird watching mylife um on TV and it was, it was
awful.
And then I would just say, yeah, I just felt so vulnerable and
so exposed.
It took me a really long timeto um to find my voice again and
(26:47):
start doing like my advocacywork.
I just I remember just feelingsuper raw and like these are
things.
These are things that I talkabout, but they're they're like
there are certain nuances that Idon't tell people about.
And the documentary reallyexposed a lot of that.
And it was weird.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
No, it's raw.
And then you ended up on DrPhil.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I did.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
And tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Um, yeah, well, somebody actually it was from
TikTok as well A producerreached out to me and she wanted
me to be on Dr Phil to talkabout aging out of foster care.
And I went there with thisamazing girl named Nia actually
she was.
It was her 21st birthday theday we went on Dr Phil and it
was her last day in foster care.
(27:30):
And they kind of compared us.
I'm today is my birthday, I'm33, but they compared us and I
was like you can't, I'm 10 yearsolder than this girl.
You know I have, I have a, Ihave two degrees, I um, you know
I'm in the military and she'sfiguring herself out.
(27:53):
You know she's 21.
She's figuring herself out,she's learning.
And they kind of compared usand I I kind of stopped.
I stopped like the middle ofthe show and I was like I just
looked at her and I was like,listen, I have had 10 years more
of life experience than you toget to this point that I'm at.
When I was your age, I had noidea what I was doing, because I
(28:14):
could tell she wasuncomfortable and it was.
It was.
It was a little bit weird.
It was definitely a little bitweird, but she's she's doing
great now.
That's good it was.
It was good to be able to talkabout foster care, but I didn't.
I didn't like the the way theycompared Nia and I because, like
(28:36):
I'm, I'm an adult, you knowlike, and she's still kind of
like young, she's like a kid,and that's how I viewed her.
I was like this is a you can'tdo that.
That's not okay.
And I know they had to like.
I know Dr Phil and hisproducers had to do that to kind
of like show I guess, like thenuances, but it was rough.
(28:56):
It was rough.
Do you have any?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
idea the odds of like success, like the chances of
you not being where and likeLisa you guys, is a real
underdog, bootstrapper, gamechanger, because it's like she
is not only like came from thatsystem.
And if you watch thedocumentary it's like we don't
want to deep dive it but you'llunderstand even more.
You know it's like of what shecame from ended up homeless, you
(29:21):
know, and then became a collegegraduate.
You know you're doing uh, uh PRstuff for the national guard.
Now you know it's like you'rean incredible success story.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Thank you, and what are the?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
stats around that.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Um 2% of foster youth get a college degree and 50%
will graduate from high school.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
What's it like to poke the eye of the odds?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Um, I mean it should feel better, but I feel
overwhelmingly guilty.
For all my success.
I would say, um, I feel guilt.
I would say because I'm beingextremely successful while other
people are failing and I don'tknow how to change that.
(30:06):
So it's like bittersweet.
It's like I, I'm happy to besuccessful, but I don't like
being.
I don't like being calledresilient.
People call me resilient allthe time and I feel like you're
taking away from other people.
Like when you say that to me,when people recognize me for
what I've done, I'm like, no,you don't need to recognize me
for what I'm done.
Like you need to recognize howwe're failing all these other
(30:30):
children.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I agree with you.
But if we don't have somebodythat's made it to look at, like
you know, it's like the odds ofsomebody whose parent was in
prison and then making it islike I think it's 95% likely
you're going to go to and Ialways wondered I'm like you
know where's my person to lookat.
You know to like, know that Ican make it, you know that sort
of stuff and so, like you're outthere.
You're showing that you can makeit and so they have somebody to
(30:52):
look to now that it's like thisisn't a completely defeated
system.
Somebody else has done it and Iknow I support you any way I
can and I'm rather protective ofyou because I know how much
impact you're making already.
I know much.
If there's somebody that'sgoing to change this system,
it's going to be you, and I knowthat you support the people
that are able to make thechanges.
(31:13):
I really believe that.
I'm trying, I'm trying so hard,but it's um, I mean, we just got
to have more people who care.
We do, and that's part of whatI try to bring with this.
It's like so systems, right,it's like we all remember the
biological food chain, you know,and I always murder it, you
know, on the show, but I bringit up as a point all the time.
(31:33):
It's like we have the firstamoeba, right, and the amoeba is
eaten by the frog and thefrog's eaten by the Fox and the
Fox is eaten by the wolf.
You know, it's like, and it'slike we have this system
everybody knows this, thissystem and the second you pull
the frog out, it messes up thewhole system, right, you know,
(31:54):
like, so far down the road, it'slike everybody got up in arms
and then the rightly so I didmyself too about, like, the
thought of trafficking in thisworld.
It raises us all to anotherlevel, right, you know, I agree
with a hundred percent, but thefoster care system.
Yes, that's where we need tostart because that's going to
make the biggest impact.
I'm all for it.
Let's fight it here too.
(32:17):
Like and it's horrifying.
You know I'm super passionateabout it, but why wouldn't we
sit and start the systems in thestart?
We need to fight the systems inthe start.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, and that's the thing people don't don't realize
is, um, they're looking at itfrom their lens, their scope.
Um, and you have to, you haveto start at the beginning, like
their root problems.
And, and there's just, peopleare like, oh, this is terrible,
this is horrible, we have to dosomething about this.
(32:42):
I'm like you have to start atthe beginning, you have to start
at the beginning.
You have to go all the way backto the beginning of it and
unless people start doing that,it's, they're not.
They're not going to impactchange.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Well, and hope, hope is such a big thing.
I'm going to murder the studyright now, but there was a study
around mice.
You know it's like, rightbefore a mouse drowns, they pull
them out.
You know it's like, and likebasically, yeah, and like
basically what it tells it.
It's like there these mice areable to swim multitudes longer
of the ones they don't try tosave because they're like any
(33:12):
moment I'm going to get saved.
They give them hope is what.
And I murdered this study, butthe idea is still the same and
you know, that's what you'redoing actually when you're out
there talking to the world, andthat's why I, like, I'm a huge
fan of the camera for this sortof stuff, I'm a huge fan of you
for this sort of stuff, becauseyou're giving hope right.
I'm trying because you can makeit through the system.
Is that why it's imperative tohave you involved with something
(33:35):
that's around this?
You know it's like.
It's like, yes, I'm horrified,absolutely that we're sending
kids to like these sort ofplaces before they even have a
chance.
They're set up for failure.
We know the recidivism rates ofoffenders in prison, you know.
Let alone when you sendsomebody that's innocent, you
know, and does nothing wrong,and all of a sudden you're going
to put them in a prison typeenvironment.
It's so much failure.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, well, you've institutionalized them already
and that's going to be what theyknow, and that's why we see
those those crazy high rates ofof um incarceration.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Cause it's just there , it's their normal.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There's so many broken systems that get there to
that, and we're starting withthe age out system, obviously,
because that's one that we canapproach, I think, and be
helpful, you know, and so fosterconnections is basically going
to be a hub for those placesthat currently exist hoping to
do YouTube videos.
I hope eventually we get to dosome sort of documentary on your
story so you can control thatstory.
(34:31):
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Actually, I think that comessooner than later.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
And that that honestly it's it's so easy to
pull this stuff off and you knowthere's a lot of creatives in
the world that, um, you know Iactually talked to one last week
.
He came in here and he's likehey, I just want to help with
this sort of stuff, bringingawareness to foundations and
things like that.
I was like funny that you saythat because, like literally, I
think that's a pivotal thingthat foster connections needs to
be doing is using YouTube usingthe camera, go out, find an
(35:01):
amazing foundation, talk aboutit.
You know, it's like this placeexists in the world.
Kids you know, and then when itcomes to them needing it, they
have a place to contact, whereit helps them navigate how to
get the actual service.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
So, uh, yeah, I mean we and that's I, I I started
focusing so much more onnonprofits because they're
they're the people that aredoing like the making really
good, like good changes,positive influence, and they're
being impactful.
And I started focusing so muchof my energy on these nonprofits
because, like you're right,there are so many resources out
there but they teens don't knowhow to access them.
(35:35):
They don't know how to get tothem, and that's the only way
we're going to help is by makingsure that, okay, you, the
resources are there and makingsure that they know how to get
the resources.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I mean you've been a voice for that.
And then kids contact you quiteoften.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I mean you've been a voice for that, and then kids
contact you quite often, don'tthey?
Yes, yeah, I do, I mentor.
I mentor kids Usually it's fromTikTok, but I mentor some teens
case by case basis, I would say.
Usually I try to like referthem to to another like
nonprofit organization, butthere are some, there are some
teens that just they touch myheart and I'll mentor them
(36:14):
throughout their journey andI'll help them make sure that
they have the right resourcesand access and also just being
like a shoulder.
It's.
Some of the things that I'veheard are it's.
I mean, I know that I had acrazy upbringing, I know that my
foster care story is reallyrough, but it's not unusual,
(36:41):
it's not unique and the thingsthat I hear from these teens is
so difficult.
It is so difficult and it makesme so angry and it just hurt.
It hurts my heart and I I haveto keep going, right, I have to
keep going.
I have to keep making thesechanges and and helping Cause
(37:04):
there's.
You know, there's no use injust being mad and not doing
anything.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah.
So, if I give you a magic wandtomorrow to like, fix this
system.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I hate this question.
Tell me a little bit about howyou fix it.
I hate this question.
Um, you know well, when we lookat it, right, you have to start
at the root cause, and the rootcause, generally I would say,
is, um, it starts with a family.
So we need to find a way.
(37:33):
Well, and drugs like addiction,addiction is, um, the number
one reason why kids are infoster care, you know, cause
their parents are addicts.
Yeah, so we have to start atthe at the beginning, right?
So I mean, we need to addressmental health and we need to
(37:54):
address addiction, and fixingthose things will help impact
foster care in a way, like youknow, kids won't be going there.
But if we had to change fostercare, we need to.
You know, you can't throw moneyat problems, that's.
(38:15):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
You know, foster parents don't get paid a whole
lot but, um, a lot of people doit for the money and we're we're
advertising like at like seven11, like they'll be like do you
want, do you want to make extramoney?
Become a foster parent.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Really.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yes, and they have like like literally like those,
uh like pull tabs, like we likepull a phone number off.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
No way.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Like, yes, and they have like, we just like and I'm
like this is this is how you'regetting foster parents Like,
this is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Why?
Why did they make it?
Like?
I have a good friend, he's verysuccessful, wife's very
successful, beautiful milliondollar house that they live in
Great people.
You know it's like theystruggled to get to adopt.
They had a hard time.
They tried to have kids for awhile.
They struggled to adopt Like itwas really tough for them.
It was a couple of year process, but then there's pull tabs out
(39:09):
there to be like explain thatto me.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Well, I mean, my, my view of adoption is a little bit
different than I think mostpeople would have.
I have a different perspective,but it goes back to where I
said.
We have to change the way weview foster kids, because we
look at them like they didsomething wrong.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Or there's something inherently flawed within them.
And they're unwanted, andthey're unwanted.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
And it's difficult to change that perspective and
that idea that society has.
And so it's hard to get fosterparents.
I would say it's difficult toget good foster parents because
people who do get in it for theright reasons and they're like
kind and they, they lead withkindness and they're they're
good foster parents, they'regoing to get burned out.
(40:05):
They're going to get burned outthere.
You know the.
The system is just there.
It's flawed at so manydifferent stages.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
You know, like we're, we're failing the kids, we're
failing the foster parents.
The good foster parents arebeing, you know, given the
runaround, or you know it's,they can't find resources.
They need mental healthresources for one of their
foster kids.
The caseworker won't call themback, like.
And then you know they'reafraid to like, call the
(40:35):
caseworker.
The caseworkers are like okay,I'm going to take this kid away
from you put him in a new house,like, and they're like no, I
just want to help them, I justwant to find them resources and
uh, you know, it's just, it's somany stages, there's so many
stages where you know we'refailing.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
And so there's not like one simple solution to like
fix it, it's just, it'ssystemic, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
There's a documentary have you seen it?
How to manufacture a sexscandal or something like that.
It's crazy.
It's basically these fosterparents that they create in the
kids' minds that their parentshad done something awful to them
in the way of like taking themto this like sex cult thing.
(41:20):
And it turns out in thedocumentary that that wasn't
true.
Uh, that basically the reasonthat they had perpetuated that
is because if you had more of amental reason for mental illness
, they got paid more money.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yes, yeah, I talk about that so often is foster
parents are incentivized to tobasically say that you're a bad
kid.
Yeah, so I remember I, mylittle brother and I were only
11 months apart Um, so we're,we're super close and we fight.
We we fought so much as kidsand I remember him and I I think
(41:56):
we were like five and we werefighting each other and I got
labeled as violent and I waslike and my foster parents got
paid more money Like I would,but now what a reward system
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
It all comes down to broken reward systems too.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But now I'm a violent kid Right and I'm labeled as
that.
So the number of foster homesthat I was allowed to go to,
like it gets less and less andless, and foster parents are
just basically incentivized tobe like, oh yeah, this kid is
violent, or this kid is this, orthis kid has this, and the more
things that they add on, themore money they make, but they
(42:33):
don't care about therepercussions.
They don't care that, like I'mgoing to go through 10 more
years of foster care and I'monly going to be, the number of
homes that I'm allowed to go inis going to get smaller and the
quality of those homes is goingto be worse.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
All because somebody wanted to make some more money.
Calling you a violent kid yes.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, just for having a having a spat with my brother
at five years old is it'sinsane, it's crazy.
That's a normal kid thing.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
In that documentary, a couple of people end up going
to jail over it.
You know that sort of stuff,and they weren't award winner
parents by any means, but theyweren't doing that either, and
you know it's.
It's just crazy to me.
We see broken systems andusually there's a broken reward
system included in that.
You know, and so it's.
It's insanity the way that,like, we're treating these
systems, and that's why I'mexcited to like work on
(43:24):
something where we have you, hasinsight and, like I, I think
anybody that wants to work onchanging something needs to get
somebody involved that'simmersed into what it is, you
know, and then like, um, becauseyou can't change systems by
just guessing what they are, yes, yeah, and that's I mean even
now.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Even now, like I, the teens that I talk to, I always
try to get their perspective andtheir, their needs, because you
know I've been out of fostercare for, you know, a decade
Like um, so I I understand thesystem from my perspective, my
point of view, but it's changingRight.
So we need to know what's goingon and I'm I'm constantly
(44:05):
talking to to teens and I'mtrying to get them to be
involved, like get involved,speak up, advocate um, because
you know they're going tounderstand it even more than I
do and and I need theirperspective.
I can't, you know, you can'tchange things if you don't know.
You don't understand it deeply,and I do, but they, they
understand it a little more thanI do and it's a it's important
(44:28):
to recognize that.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We trash people and you know, it's like we're not
even giving them a shot, youknow, at at life.
You know, and everybodydeserves a shot at life, you
know.
And uh, and at the same timethen we set up the bad reward
systems for perpetuating thosesystems, you know, and it's like
, and then we make it for somereason somehow in those systems
very difficult for good peopleto help.
You know it's like I don't knowhow we do that on both ends, but
(44:51):
we somehow figure out doingthat on both ends.
When I first heard about thisthing, I knew immediately, like
I didn't know what to do to help.
You know, but I'm I knew thatlike and I say this on the show
all the time if it hits you hereand it hits you here, that
means and I mean your heart andyour stomach for those just
listening uh, that means youhave to do something about it,
you know.
(45:11):
And so like it.
I felt so hopeless in thatmoment to like help make an
impact, and that's when you knowwe got together with Mary and
some other people you know tolike try to make a difference
and you know, and even oneperson's worth it.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Yes, yeah, exactly, well, cause these kids.
They didn't do it, they didn'tdo anything wrong and we have to
, like you, have to raiseawareness first.
I think, like I agree, peoplejust don't even know what foster
care is, or they have such amisconstrued idea of it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
When I use that stat, people are horrified.
Yeah, when I tell them aboutkids going to the youth
incarceration centers, they'rehorrified.
So what does that tell you?
If we could tell more peoplethat alone it would change it.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Well, and it sucks, right, it sucks that we have to
make people care.
But you, you know, you don'tknow what you don't know, and
and so many people don't evenunderstand what's happening or
what's going on.
And you do, you have to, youhave to be like hey, listen,
this 90% of the people on deathrow came from foster care.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Like 80% of the children rescued from
trafficking came from fostercare, and you have to use these
crazy statistics, which arevalid and true, but you have to
do that just to get people tocare about it Otherwise,
otherwise they're not going tocare about foster kids.
They're like whatever, like whocares?
It doesn't affect me.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It doesn't affect me, so I don't care.
I mean, I think the assumptionis like people keep their eyes
closed on it and they justassume it's an we're taking care
of them, it's going, it's, it'sgetting handled properly, you
know, I think that's wheresomewhere better.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
They're like yeah, you're somewhere.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
They're taking them out of the broken home.
You know we have.
They're in paradise now.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I think that's the assumption of the American
population.
Oh, and it's just not true.
It's just not true.
It's so.
Foster is so bad, it's so badand I can't, there's there's,
there's nothing I can do to makepeople understand uh, foster
care the way that I do, but it'sjust so bad, it's so awful, it
is so terrible and it you justyou're set up for a life of
(47:06):
failure.
You're that's what you're setup for, that's what it's
creating, and it's reallydifficult to climb your way out
of that.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Totally is.
You know it's like there's thatfinish line analogy.
You know where it's like ifyou're, they give a bunch of
variables, like if you'restarting with two parents or
you're starting with middleincome or whatever you start
where you're going to start onthat starting line Right and
like it's amazing how far thestart line even most kids are
starting Right.
It's like even if you just havelike a standard set of parents
(47:37):
from a middle-class background,you know it's like you're so far
ahead.
Yeah, you're already killing it,you're crushing it, and that's
why it's like a big majority ofmy work is under this like
intention, that like if you takemore people that had to deal
with horrible circumstances,situations without the rich
uncle, to help them, you know,like that sort of stuff and then
you help them get their successand I don't mean give it to
(47:59):
them by any means.
Nobody's given you anything inthis world, you know, not unless
you come from that you knowit's like.
But like you can educate aroundit, you can support you, can,
you know, like, be that ear tolisten.
You know it's like we canabsolutely do that in the world.
You know, and it's like we canabsolutely do that in the world.
You know it's like.
And those people, when theymake it, they change things.
(48:21):
I tell people this all the time.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
It's like if Elon Musk had grown up in the foster
care system.
Would it look the way it does?
Yeah, it would be.
It would be fixed.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Yeah, he'd be pissed off about it from growing up
into it.
It wasn't fair, and that's whyyou need that Elon Musk that's
out there right now, not gettingaged out to become homeless,
you know, because then they Imean you know a guy right now,
don't you that like is a geniusthat created some amazing
company.
Yeah, yeah, um came out of thefoster care system.
He did?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
He did.
Yeah, he, he owns a, a defensecompany, actually, and he's
doing um amazing things.
He's actually opening up a umamazing things.
He's actually opening up a um,a gifted program in Hawaii for
um, for foster kids and orphansfrom the entire for the world.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
They can come from anywhere.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
And he's opening up this gifted home and, um, I'm
really excited to see what hedoes.
But yeah, he's, you know, he'smade, he's made himself very
successful and he's giving back,he's trying, he's impacting
change and that's what we need.
That's what we need we just somany people, right, they don't
(49:25):
want to talk about their past ortheir trauma or their history.
They want to pretend like itdoesn't exist.
Yep, but if we don't talk aboutit, nobody's going to know,
nobody's going to change it, andwe need people.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
We need people who are going to be changers.
The sad part of it, too, is youneed to get your success.
If you've been through thisstuff, because this is the best
way to change it, people willlisten to you when you're in a
boardroom People.
If Bill Gates says something,he can change something right
now and nobody understands itlike somebody that's been
(50:00):
immersed into a system that'sdealt with the pain firsthand.
I actually applaud people thatcame from perfect system,
perfect families and still careabout this stuff Right.
It's like because you're caringabout it, just because you're a
good human, not because it'spainting you on a different
level, Right, and so it's likeyou grew up with everything and
you still care about this stuff.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
I you know, it's like .
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I know like a lot of us grow up and like we're mad
about the system and that's whywe want to change it, you know,
and so like, and that's fine too, you know, but they like those
people working together, andthat's the thing too.
It's like there's amazingamount of kindhearted people
that want to affect these, thesethings, and I think we're
hoping to be more of a thread toput people together.
This is a united front inchanging these things.
(50:36):
And youth incarceration groupsshould care, prison reformists
should care, you know like, uh,humanity people should care,
child welfare people should care, and if we all kind of work
together on the same problems,you know it's like they can make
a change.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, but it's so difficult, it's difficult.
That's the first.
That's the first step isgetting people to care.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Yeah, that's why I think what you're doing is
beautiful.
That's why, like, when somebodycomes at you, it's like I take
it so personal.
You know, it's like I get madon another level you could do
what you want to me, but like Ivery protective of you because I
see the amazing work thatyou're doing and the way people
come at you over it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I don't take them seriously, though.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
That's the thing, and I appreciate that you don't.
You know so.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
I'll do like some little like reply videos to some
of these hate comments and Itry to be lighthearted and like
mostly nice about it, but it'sjust hurt people, hurt people
you know, like happy, happypeople.
Don't hurt people.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
No.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
And so I just have to think about it that way.
It's like you know people are.
How hurt do they have to be toto be saying stuff like that,
you know, and and I just I justhave empathy for them, kindness,
and I'm like it's what italways is.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
You know, like when I have somebody that says
something crappy to me in thecomments or something like that,
I usually respond with kindness.
Or the other day some guy dropsin something nasty at me and
I'm like you know what I cantake this, you know, and so I'm
glad you're wasting your time onme, because I can deal with it
instead of hurting somebody else.
And to it, to that point, heactually came back and said
something nice to me.
You know about it.
(52:10):
You know it's like, so likethat's what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
They're looking for attention, and I mean they're
hurt, and that's where they Imean responding with kindness.
Right, you're you, you helpedhim, you know.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
It's just crazy, though.
Why go after you instead of theguy that's out there sitting in
the rented Ferrari trying tosell like a hundred dollar
course?
you know that is no good for youknow, it's like I don't
understand that, but it's, it'sthe world we live in.
You know, it's the, you know,like the people that are out
there trying to do the good inthe world, for some reason we
try to bring them down insteadof boost them up.
But and so I would say to you,um game changers out there, keep
(52:46):
doing it anyway, you know,survive out of spite.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Yes, lisa, you know it's like.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
I love the fire in your system, for, like what
you're doing, I really do.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
It's a lot.
There's a lot of fire in there.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah and uh.
So I want to give you a chanceto like.
You should probably tell peopleyour Tik TOK at least so they
can follow you yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Yeah, that's my, that's my, everything.
There are hundreds of fakeaccounts of me, which is super
weird.
Yeah, accounts of me, which issuper weird.
Um, people like, take my videosand like, but I only have one.
I have one Instagram.
I have one Tik TOK, it's all.
Miss Lisa Pisa.
Um, but yeah, it's super, superodd All these little fake
(53:29):
seeing myself with all theseweird captions.
I'm like what do you?
Can you just not steal my video?
Speaker 1 (53:35):
for like taking your own text even.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Yeah, it's so odd.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Thank you for everything you're doing and
thanks for coming on the showtoday on your birthday.
You know really excited aboutwhat we're working on Um.
For those of you out there,especially creatives or anybody
on any level if you want to beable to help with foster
connections as we're building it, developing it um love to get
together.
Yeah, love to get together withcreatives.
(54:01):
Bring out a camera, let's makean event of it.
If you're also like somebodythat runs a foster foundation or
anything along those lines, wewant to bring awareness to what
you're doing and support goodpeople.
Um and uh.
Yeah, I want to thank you todayfor joining us on another
episode of Underdogs,bootstrappers, game Changers A
little bit different episode,but what I want you to totally
(54:23):
get out of this is success comeswith an obligation.
I truly believe in that.
That's fair.
And if you can get your success,you can do a hell of a lot more
with it.
And I also want you tounderstand the impact of systems
and we all get frustrated aboutthings, but then I implore you
to like dive a little bit deeperand understand the true
(54:44):
fundamentals of of what is goingwrong in that system so we can
actually fix things.
So think different folks.
Thanks for joining us.
Hello and welcome to underdogs,bootstrappers and game changers
(55:07):
.
This is for those of you that.
Thanks for joining us, tank.
My aim with this podcast is totake away some of the imaginary
roadblocks that are out there.
I want to help more underdogs,because underdogs are truly who
change the world.
This is part of our content forgood initiative.
All the proceeds from themonetization of this podcast
will go to charitable causes.
(55:29):
It's for the person that wantsit.
Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers and
game changers.
This is for those of you thatare starting with nothing and
using business to change theirstars, motivating people who
disrupted industry standards.
This is the real side ofbusiness.
This isn't Shark Tank.
My aim with this podcast is totake away some of the imaginary
(00:22):
roadblocks that are out there.
I want to help more underdogs,because underdogs are truly who
change the world.
This is part of our Content forGood initiative.
All the proceeds from themonetization of this podcast
will go to charitable causes.
It's for the person that wantsit.
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of Underdogs,
(00:45):
bootstrappers, game Changers and, once again, folks.
I am so excited to have my dearfriend Lisa here today, and it
happens to be Lisa's birthday.
Oh goodness, we don't have totell everybody and here's Lisa's
birthday present being onUnderdogs, and so Lisa happens
to be in town because we have ameeting for our foundation
(01:06):
tomorrow that we're starting, Um, and so I thought it prudent to
have a discussion around how tochange things right and how to
think of things a little bitdifferent and how to immerse
into systems and how to get theright people involved in
changing something, Um, and sowhat I hope you get out of this
episode today is a different wayto look at the things of this
world that you might want toimpact, Um.
(01:28):
That being said, I want towelcome Lisa officially.
Um and uh, Lisa, I know we haveto start at the start, right,
and so I know that it's notalways easy, um, to do that, and
I'm starting to just throw youinto that pit, but I think it's
important because I think you'resuch an underdog bootstrapper
and game changer you know, andso I want the audience to know
(01:51):
that as well and why.
And so, if you would, can youtell me a little bit about, like
the way you grew up and howthat's impacted you so?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
far.
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I guessthat's why I'm here, um, trying
trying to make a change, make adifference.
It's because I I started out mylife Um not so great.
I went, uh was born with, youknow, parents who are addicts,
and uh went into foster care attwo and then I went through 36
(02:24):
foster homes and I had somepretty terrible experiences and
then at 18, I aged out and I washomeless.
And I don't like that societydoes that.
I don't enjoy that and I wantto make people aware.
Like we're sending kids throughthis system and then we're
(02:46):
sending them out on their own tobe homeless and there's no,
there's just there's nothing forthem.
And so that's why you and I arehere, hopefully to make a
change and make a difference and, um, just change the way the
system is doing things.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
There's so many things with you that like I just
absolutely adore, you know.
And then also you bring outlike the protective nature in me
because I see you especially inlike comments and stuff.
Like I can't believe, like thecontent you put out is like I
want to help kids you know, andthen, like this, the, the trash
people spit back at you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It frustrates me on another level.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You know it's like.
I'm not like.
You can make fun of me all youwant and people do.
You know it's like, but itaffects me, especially when I'm
see you doing good work and thenlike people are in the comments
like saying horrible things toyou.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I mean, yeah, people, people are super brave behind a
keyboard.
I think they just they don't.
I don't really think they evenmean it honestly.
Honestly, they say justhorrible, terrible comments and
I'm like I really don't thinkthey mean it.
I think they just and folks.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Just so you know the type of content Lisa produces is
.
She's a big voice for fosteradvocacy and she's not saying
she's not downplaying yourfavorite sports team.
She's not really takingpolitical arguments.
I mean, you do a little yourfavorite sports team.
She's not like really takingpolitical arguments.
I mean you do a little bitsometimes, but mostly it's like
hey, we need to change thissystem for foster kids and
people are like attacking you inthe comments over that and it's
(04:14):
just crazy to me.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
They're like, you're ugly.
I'm like, okay, cool, cool, butcan you donate or are you going
to help?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
It's so frustrating to me because, like I, I try to
like help people that have avoice.
There's a.
I'm going to drop this storybecause I think this is you in a
way.
Um, there was this guy and helooks like a hillbilly.
He's actually kind of missingsome teeth and stuff.
He's on a Tik TOK and, uh, he'sgot big red beard.
You know, he actually kind oflooks like me in a way.
You know it was like prettyhillbilly looking Right and uh,
(04:42):
and he's like can you believethey made the little mermaid
black, right?
And then all of a sudden itshows these clips of videos and,
uh, it's all these black girlscrying, seeing princess area
being black.
She looks like me, you know,it's like all this stuff.
And in the end he is like cryingand he's like, if you can't
appreciate that you're aheartless mother, effer, you
(05:04):
know, and so Representationmatters.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It matters so much.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He was the right voice for that, because you
expected this hillbilly thoughtabout him and he just completely
180'd you.
And I'm not saying you're ahillbilly different voice, it's
in a different way but you're,to me, the right voice for the
message that's out there aroundfoster care advocacy.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm trying.
I'm trying because you're notit gets, it gets hard, it gets
rough, and I got to take breaks,but well, I can't stop.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
What people don't know about you is you're so
brave and I love one of yourfavorite uh, uh, one of my
favorite comments that you'veever made is like I survived out
of spite.
Yes and I tell people all thetime that you have this like
under glowing like fire in you.
That's feisty, that I love, andyou're the type of person
that's going to change thissystem.
And when I looked at that youbeing the proper person for the
message and for you know whatyou've been through, um, and
(05:56):
then like what you're doing I'mlike I got to support this
person.
Anyway, I can.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It goes back to like representation, representation
matters, and I've been in somany like foster care advocacy
meetings where it's just a bunchof people sitting in a room
who've never experienced fostercare and I mean sure you can
have an opinion on it but youdon't understand it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And you can't fix it from that way.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
No, because they don't get it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
No, you know, here's another example and not to make
this all about me, but it's likeI like to bring messages home
and it's like I hated, hated,hated the kill shelters.
Animal kill shelters.
Huge, huge lover of animals,I'm like how can they have these
places on the planet that arethese animal kill shelters?
And when I get curious aboutsomething or angry about
something, I have to getinvolved with it.
(06:44):
So I ended up spending fiveyears volunteering at an animal
kill shelter because I had tounderstand it.
You know it's like and what Irealized, it was in the clinic
there.
They liked me because I canactually pick up the big dogs
while they're asleep from theneutering surgeries, and so, um,
I realized that everybody therewas animal lovers and nothing
against no kill shelters either,but it's basically when they
(07:05):
don't have enough room, theyjust close the door, Right.
And so the real problem was Iwas hating kill shelters.
That wasn't the issue.
It's the fact that we don'tadopt animals, Right.
You know it's like that was thereal problem, but how, if we
were solving that?
I hate kill shelters and we'reclosing those down, which is the
last stop at the end for thedogs.
Anyways, you know it's likethey don't want to kill dogs
(07:25):
there.
I can tell you that right now,but it's like we were fixing the
problem wrong.
If I had started fixing problemthen and that's why it's like
having you involved, you know,with like foster connections is
like imperative in my mindbecause you know the system
better than any of us can.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, I mean you have to have representation If
you're going to change something.
If you're in a room talkingabout foster care, you need to
have people who've been throughfoster care Agreed.
Just having foster parentsgreat, they have a unique
understanding, but they stilldon't have the right perspective
to make actual positive changes.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
There's a point.
Foster Connection's goal atthis point is to combine
resources that are currentlyavailable for kids out there.
Right, Because it's like I atelunch with the dean of my
business school not too long agoand she's like Tyler, ASU is
free for foster kids.
Problem is they don't know aboutit and they don't know how to
utilize it Right and so, like,our goal with foster connections
is basically to combine thoseamazing resources and help them
(08:23):
utilize those resources.
And Lisa brought up an amazingpoint.
Do you remember the point youbrought up around like, uh, what
we would need to do first toeven have an impact.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
What do you mean?
No, maybe.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I mean nobody would have thought of this.
But you're like, hey, we needto get them an ID and a birth
certificate.
They can't even be involvedwith the systems that are
available if they don't havethose things.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Well, that's that's.
The thing is, uh, you don'tknow what you don't know, and
when you go through foster care,there's so many things that
you're not taught that like Iguess quote unquote normal kids
would have been taught and youhave to start at the beginning
and it's really difficult forpeople who, who don't have have
a concept of it.
So, yeah, getting an ID, thatseems like common knowledge, but
(09:08):
when you go through foster careand you age out at 18, that's
one you probably don't even havemoney to go get an ID.
You've got to spend money toget money.
It's insane.
And they don't have a resume ora birth certificate or a social
security card and in order toget a job, you need all of those
(09:29):
things.
But in order to get thosethings, you need a job to pay
for them and it's.
It's this really weird cyclewhere there's people they've
people find it so hard to belike, like, why is this
difficult?
Why are they struggling?
Why are so many?
(09:51):
Why are so many foster teenshomeless?
And it's just because they're.
They're so far removed from thesituation.
They can't.
They can't understand, likethese little nuances of you know
, getting your ID or getting asocial security card, and it
seems so easy to people, butwhen you're in that situation
it's not easy.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Kids don't know how to advocate for themselves.
I mean, my brother went to goto college and he walked in and
tried to get financial aid likeanybody would, and they denied
him.
And then I heard about this andluckily I had gotten a little
confidence by then and I went inthere and I don't take no for
an answer at that point.
Very well, and um, I'm like,hey, why did you deny my brother
(10:27):
for financial aid?
And they're like well, we needyour parents, um, uh, tax
returns.
And I'm like my dad's been inprison for 15 years and my mom's
never had a job in her life.
You know, if this system isn'tbuilt for somebody like my
brother, who's it built for?
But the problem is and that'swhy I understand this about what
you're talking about is becausemy brother's 18 years old.
(10:47):
They told him no, he didn'tthink he could argue or do
anything else he wasn't going toadvocate.
And not everybody has an olderbrother to go in there and fight
and guess what?
He had financial aid in threehours after.
I did that, you know, and likethat's where it was like to me
was an aha moment, cause thesekids okay, oh, there's a bunch
of things out there for them,tyler, you know it's like yeah,
but they don't know how toutilize them.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
They don't.
They don't.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And they take no for an answer too quickly.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yes, and I said this the other day.
I did a, I did a speech theother day for foster youth and I
said don't stop at the first no, ask and keep asking, cause for
everybody that every 10 peoplethat tell you know, there's
going to be one that's going totell you yes, and that was my.
That was a mistake that I made.
You know, coming into adulthood, like I got denied for so many
(11:32):
things like food stamps.
I tried to get food stamps andthey're like no, and I was like
okay yeah.
And I was like I guess I'll juststart, but I, I didn't know how
to advocate for myself, I justI, they said no to me and I just
accepted that.
And um, that's one thing that Ireally, really try to like
impart on on children that I, orteens that I talk to now, is
(11:57):
how, how to somewhat advocatefor yourself and like, if you
get told no, just keep trying.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I was listening to stat this morning that 30% of
like millennials I think it'smillennials, uh are bringing
their parents with them to jobinterview.
It's like, okay, think aboutthat.
You know it's like and nowwe're expecting some poor foster
kid.
That's never actually.
And we treat the poordifferently too.
Oh, we, we treat them in a waythat there's this popper
mentality to being poor, and Ionly know because I've
progressed through it.
(12:25):
You know it's like okay, theauthority tells you you're not
allowed to do this and youbelieve it, right, you don't
advocate for it.
It's a weird psychology, youknow, but it's, it's true.
And so these kids are like,okay, no means no.
It's like.
Until they get to the pointwhere no doesn't mean no, and
that's where I hope fosterconnection kind of had to step
into.
It's like hey, you don't havethe older brother, you don't
(12:45):
have the parent.
You know it's like somebodyneeds to help you like
understand that Like no, itdoesn't always mean no.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
And well, yeah, people need to like mentors or
it's.
It's just so.
It's so difficult because whenyou grow up in foster care like
most of the time it's not youknow, you don't have a good
situation, you and you learnquickly not to push back.
Yeah, like you don't talk backto authority, you don't like,
you don't push back, or you knowsomething bad is going to
(13:13):
happen.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Cause we call it pushing back instead of
advocating for yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, or or talking back, or being defiant.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They call it many different things.
But when you go through thatand then you become an adult,
then it's like, how do Iadvocate for myself safely, like
cause, you know, as a kid I waslike if I said something, the
wrong thing, I'm going to getbackhanded.
So I learned quickly like maybeI shouldn't do that and you
have to change that entiremindset, that entire mentality
(13:42):
of like just being an adult.
Like I didn't know that I wasan adult.
It was super weird.
Like I turned 18 and I was like,okay, I'm like a grownup, but I
was still afraid of adults.
Like I was terrified of likeauthority figures and it took me
a really long time to realizethat, like I'm an adult, I can
(14:03):
say things, I can do what I wantand I can I can say no.
Like it took me a really longtime to realize that like just
coming into adulthood and I Ihope that the teens that I talk
to now like um, I hope that Ican give them some of that Like
like you're safe, you're anadult, like you can, you know
(14:25):
you're allowed to make your owndecisions, you have free will.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Do me a favor and tell people about the age out
issue, cause I don't think mostpeople know.
Can you tell me a little bit,yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, we have 20,000 youth age out of foster care
every year and people talk somuch about homelessness.
It's really, there's a lot ofnegative ideas around
homelessness, but we have onesystem that's putting out 20,000
youth every year and 50% ofthem will be homeless.
(14:55):
So we have one system that'sputting out 10,000 homeless
people every single year.
And, uh, you, we have theseteens who are you know, they
turn 18 and they show up totheir foster home and they're
like, oh, you know, you don'tlive here anymore and they're
just instantly homeless andthere's no resources.
(15:16):
There's the you know, fostercare, generally probably paid
for their entire life.
And then they turn 18 and then,all of a sudden, there's no
insurance, there's there's noanything.
And there are.
There are some systems like inplace, like independent living
program.
Um, they're state-run,state-funded, but they have
(15:38):
barriers and that's a problemwith, like a lot of
organizations or governmentalorganizations.
They have a whole lot ofbarriers and we have these kids
who've gone through like immenseamounts of trauma and we're
going to put up these barriers,like, okay, if you have an
addiction, if you have mentalhealth problems, like you're not
(16:03):
, you don't qualify for thisprogram.
And those addictions and thosemental health problems.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
They come from foster , care, like foster, care
created that and so give methose stats too that get us both
in trouble, the ones that gotme banned from Instagram,
basically uh, the, the, thedeath row one, yeah, Uh, what?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
what was it 80?
No, 90, right, I think it's 90%of the 90% of the people on
death row in California camefrom foster care.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah.
And it's um and then tell meabout the trafficking.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Well, 80% of the children um rescued from
trafficking came from fostercare, and then, when it moves to
adults, it's 90% of the womenwho are trafficking survivors
spent time in foster care.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
That's what's so crazy to me, and it's crazy that
I've been kind of likeblacklisted from Instagram for
like quoting some of those stats.
You know it's like if we're notputting this messaging out in
the world, because even if youdon't care about kids folks, you
know it's like shame on you forfirst of all, but even if you
don't like, look at the impactson society, right, it's like.
And when I like, what kind ofgot me into all this is?
(17:17):
I volunteered for five years ata foster care home and learned
a lot about it, Um, an amazingone here in town, and then I
spent a very, very small amountof time.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I told you I met, I met two kids from there.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That said good things about it yeah.
No, it's amazing facility, youknow, and I was proud to be out
there.
You know, I met, uh, I'veworked with a lot of the kids
and stuff and so, um, they'redoing it right in my opinion,
you know.
And so I and I love since I'm abusiness guy, uh, through the
core, I love the fact that theytake in donations of furniture.
So they take in your furnituredonations, they sell those and
(17:52):
those make a decent chunk ofmoney that partially funds the
home every year and it's morelike I should take you out there
.
It's more like a neighborhood.
You know, it doesn't look likeany sort of facility and I had a
youth incarceration group inhere I'm advising for marketing
or, excuse me, for groups, quiteoften charities, and they have
been a drop that like when wedon't have anywhere for the kids
(18:13):
to go, when there's no room,kind of like the animal shelter
problem.
It's like although it's not, Iguess, fair to compare it, but
it's still it's like nowhere forthe kids to go.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
They go to youth incarceration centers despite
having done nothing wrong, andthat horrified me.
Well and then, well and thenthey expect you like to be good,
quote, unquote, and it's likehere, go to jail and now be good
.
Yeah, and it's like you'reangry.
You're mad, you're angry.
I remember like getting sent tothese group homes and I was so
angry I was, so I didn't doanything.
And so then I'm mad and I'mlike I'm running away or I'm
leaving, I'm not coming backhere.
(18:49):
This is ridiculous.
And then I get punished and I'mlike I'm being punished for
doing nothing and then I getupset about it.
And now I'm punished for beingupset about about being here for
no reason In Portland actuallythey are, they were.
They're putting kids in hotelrooms, um, foster kids.
They have.
No, they don't have homes.
(19:10):
So they're putting them inhotel rooms, like together.
And it's it's insane.
They they purchased a um, theypurchased a closed down juvenile
hall facility like detentioncenter and they're putting
foster kids in there Like they.
They redid it.
I guess they're trying toremodel it, but I mean, these
(19:31):
kids have gone through horriblethings like like probably the
worst thing you can imagine,right being taken away from your
parents.
And all of a sudden it's like,okay, we're going to put you in
here, like we, we painted thewalls.
So you know, here's your jailcell, but there's paint on the
walls, it's, it's terrible.
And then, and that that goesinto that whole, you know the
(19:54):
the foster care to prisonpipeline.
You know what they, what theycall it, because if that's what
you know, you know you're beingput in a juvie facility and
you're institutionalized.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
You start by being raised by shit parents and then
you're taken away from the shitparents and then you're put into
a place that's horrifying,right, basically like a prison,
and then, like 18 years old,you're kicked out on the street.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Well, yeah, survive, exactly.
And then you're going to bestealing or dealing or doing
whatever you have to do tosurvive, and you don't know any
better.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You don't know any better.
Yeah, and it's something that Ithink people have a hard time
recognizing.
We want to villainize homelesspeople so much Like they're like
, oh, most of them want to behomeless.
Most of them they're addicts.
Or I'm not going to give themmoney, they're going to spend it
on drugs.
Like these are kids, they'reyou know, they just turned 18.
(20:59):
They're children.
And then we can't.
We can't keep villainizingpeople for things that were
never their fault.
You know, foster kids didn'task to be foster kids.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
They didn't ask to have a shitty life or shitty
parents.
And you have to find somekindness Like people when you
think about foster kids.
That's one thing I really amtrying to change.
When you think about fosterkids, people are like, oh, I
don't want a teenager, I'mafraid Something is wrong with
them, and I'm trying to change.
When you think about fosterkids, people are like, oh, I
don't want a teenager, I'mafraid there's something is
wrong with them.
And I'm like you're so close,you recognize that, like foster
care is traumatic, but you'renot going to do anything about
(21:32):
it.
You're just going to say Idon't want a teenager.
That you know, they've beenthrough so much and you're so
close, you're so close to seeing, you're so close to seeing it,
but are like you're almost there, Almost there.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I know we glanced over your history a little bit I
want to talk about.
There's a documentary out there.
What's the name of thedocumentary?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
again, it's called Playground.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Your sister is the main focus of the documentary.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
She is yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
George Clooney helped produce it.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
He did.
He was their co-producer.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
And then, like so, the impact.
I watched that documentary.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It took me a long time to watch it.
When I found out about it,TikTok helped me find out about
it actually.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Is that right?
Yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Somebody was like your sister's in this
documentary and I was likethat's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Is it easy enough for you to break down what the
documentary is about, or do youwant me to do it?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, no, I can.
So well, I'll start from thebeginning.
I guess my sister and I wereseparated in foster care and
when TikTok became a thing, Ithink it was like 2020, maybe
2021.
I put out this video where Iwas like looking for my sister
and I told TikTok I was likehere's these pictures that I
have.
My sister and I were separatedin foster care and I don't know
(22:49):
where she's at.
And somebody wrote me a messageand they were like I've seen
your sister in a documentary.
And I was like it was probably,I think maybe one in the morning
and I got this message and Ilooked up this documentary
called playground and there wasa picture of me and my sister,
(23:09):
there was a picture of us likeon the trailer, and I was so
confused and, um, my, my sisterhad gotten trafficked.
At 11 years old she wasabducted and trafficked to
Canada.
Actually, she was taken from amall in Portland, oregon and, uh
, traffic to Canada and therewas this entire documentary with
(23:31):
pictures of me and pictures ofher and just really going over
like our life and our historyand the things that led her into
being trafficked, and it was socrazy to me.
It was so crazy to me Like thefoster care system.
They just one day in, like theearly 2000,.
(23:51):
They were like you can't seeyour sister anymore and I was
like why?
I don't understand, and I neversaw her again.
I never saw her again.
But with the help of Tik TOK, Ifound the documentary and I
found a police officer actuallyso she was.
She was rescued fromtrafficking and the foster care
system put her.
They just locked her away in apsych ward.
(24:12):
And I found this police officer, rescued from trafficking, and
the foster care system put her.
They just locked her away in apsych ward and um I found this
police officer in Oakland who,through tick tock like, went in
on her own.
She went and found my sister umat this homeless camp in
Oakland and I was able to havelike a FaceTime video chat with
my sister.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Um, she's definitely suffering from her, like the
effects of her trauma.
Um, but it was, yeah, it wascrazy, it was absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, they don't get that far in the documentary
obviously, and then there's beena lot of years since then.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
But yeah, and then I think it was 2014 it was made.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
There's some stuff in there that's so graphic we
can't even I don't think youhave on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, it is.
It was really hard for me tobring myself to watch it.
Some people from TikTok wouldsend me pictures of my sister,
cause I haven't seen her since Iwas eight years old.
That was the last time I saw herand some people sent me
pictures of her and I I justlike broke down and I lost it
and I was.
It took me so long to watch thedocumentary but like millions
(25:17):
of people watched it and it, ittook me weeks before I could
like sit down and bring myselfto watch it.
And, um, it's so weird becausethe the journalist like she, she
went to like my childhood homeand she found my neighbors.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And they would talk about, you know, three little
girls, which was me and mysisters, and they would talk.
They were like, yeah, we knewthey were being abused, we knew
they were being hurt, and so thedocumentary goes really deep
into my childhood.
And so the documentary goesreally deep into my childhood
and I felt, I remember, after Iput it on TikTok, like I think
(25:59):
it was like, you know, thousandsof people watched it.
Millions of people have seenthe documentary and when I
finally did watch it, I was, Ifelt so vulnerable and so
exposed and it really made mewant.
I want to tell my story my wayyeah and it was so weird to me
that somebody could just comeand like use my life like for
(26:22):
their fame or you know yeah andI was like I want to tell my
story myself, I want to be incharge of my story, because it
was really weird watching mylife um on TV and it was, it was
awful.
And then I would just say, yeah, I just felt so vulnerable and
so exposed.
It took me a really long timeto um to find my voice again and
(26:47):
start doing like my advocacywork.
I just I remember just feelingsuper raw and like these are
things.
These are things that I talkabout, but they're they're like
there are certain nuances that Idon't tell people about.
And the documentary reallyexposed a lot of that.
And it was weird.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
No, it's raw.
And then you ended up on DrPhil.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I did.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
And tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Um, yeah, well, somebody actually it was from
TikTok as well A producerreached out to me and she wanted
me to be on Dr Phil to talkabout aging out of foster care.
And I went there with thisamazing girl named Nia actually
she was.
It was her 21st birthday theday we went on Dr Phil and it
was her last day in foster care.
(27:30):
And they kind of compared us.
I'm today is my birthday, I'm33, but they compared us and I
was like you can't, I'm 10 yearsolder than this girl.
You know I have, I have a, Ihave two degrees, I um, you know
I'm in the military and she'sfiguring herself out.
(27:53):
You know she's 21.
She's figuring herself out,she's learning.
And they kind of compared usand I I kind of stopped.
I stopped like the middle ofthe show and I was like I just
looked at her and I was like,listen, I have had 10 years more
of life experience than you toget to this point that I'm at.
When I was your age, I had noidea what I was doing, because I
(28:14):
could tell she wasuncomfortable and it was.
It was.
It was a little bit weird.
It was definitely a little bitweird, but she's she's doing
great now.
That's good it was.
It was good to be able to talkabout foster care, but I didn't.
I didn't like the the way theycompared Nia and I because, like
(28:36):
I'm, I'm an adult, you knowlike, and she's still kind of
like young, she's like a kid,and that's how I viewed her.
I was like this is a you can'tdo that.
That's not okay.
And I know they had to like.
I know Dr Phil and hisproducers had to do that to kind
of like show I guess, like thenuances, but it was rough.
(28:56):
It was rough.
Do you have any?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
idea the odds of like success, like the chances of
you not being where and likeLisa you guys, is a real
underdog, bootstrapper, gamechanger, because it's like she
is not only like came from thatsystem.
And if you watch thedocumentary it's like we don't
want to deep dive it but you'llunderstand even more.
You know it's like of what shecame from ended up homeless, you
(29:21):
know, and then became a collegegraduate.
You know you're doing uh, uh PRstuff for the national guard.
Now you know it's like you'rean incredible success story.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Thank you, and what are the?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
stats around that.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Um 2% of foster youth get a college degree and 50%
will graduate from high school.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
What's it like to poke the eye of the odds?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Um, I mean it should feel better, but I feel
overwhelmingly guilty.
For all my success.
I would say, um, I feel guilt.
I would say because I'm beingextremely successful while other
people are failing and I don'tknow how to change that.
(30:06):
So it's like bittersweet.
It's like I, I'm happy to besuccessful, but I don't like
being.
I don't like being calledresilient.
People call me resilient allthe time and I feel like you're
taking away from other people.
Like when you say that to me,when people recognize me for
what I've done, I'm like, no,you don't need to recognize me
for what I'm done.
Like you need to recognize howwe're failing all these other
(30:30):
children.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I agree with you.
But if we don't have somebodythat's made it to look at, like
you know, it's like the odds ofsomebody whose parent was in
prison and then making it islike I think it's 95% likely
you're going to go to and Ialways wondered I'm like you
know where's my person to lookat.
You know to like, know that Ican make it, you know that sort
of stuff and so, like you're outthere.
You're showing that you can makeit and so they have somebody to
(30:52):
look to now that it's like thisisn't a completely defeated
system.
Somebody else has done it and Iknow I support you any way I
can and I'm rather protective ofyou because I know how much
impact you're making already.
I know much.
If there's somebody that'sgoing to change this system,
it's going to be you, and I knowthat you support the people
that are able to make thechanges.
(31:13):
I really believe that.
I'm trying, I'm trying so hard,but it's um, I mean, we just got
to have more people who care.
We do, and that's part of whatI try to bring with this.
It's like so systems, right,it's like we all remember the
biological food chain, you know,and I always murder it, you
know, on the show, but I bringit up as a point all the time.
(31:33):
It's like we have the firstamoeba, right, and the amoeba is
eaten by the frog and thefrog's eaten by the Fox and the
Fox is eaten by the wolf.
You know, it's like, and it'slike we have this system
everybody knows this, thissystem and the second you pull
the frog out, it messes up thewhole system, right, you know,
(31:54):
like, so far down the road, it'slike everybody got up in arms
and then the rightly so I didmyself too about, like, the
thought of trafficking in thisworld.
It raises us all to anotherlevel, right, you know, I agree
with a hundred percent, but thefoster care system.
Yes, that's where we need tostart because that's going to
make the biggest impact.
I'm all for it.
Let's fight it here too.
(32:17):
Like and it's horrifying.
You know I'm super passionateabout it, but why wouldn't we
sit and start the systems in thestart?
We need to fight the systems inthe start.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, and that's the thing people don't don't realize
is, um, they're looking at itfrom their lens, their scope.
Um, and you have to, you haveto start at the beginning, like
their root problems.
And, and there's just, peopleare like, oh, this is terrible,
this is horrible, we have to dosomething about this.
(32:42):
I'm like you have to start atthe beginning, you have to start
at the beginning.
You have to go all the way backto the beginning of it and
unless people start doing that,it's, they're not.
They're not going to impactchange.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Well, and hope, hope is such a big thing.
I'm going to murder the studyright now, but there was a study
around mice.
You know it's like, rightbefore a mouse drowns, they pull
them out.
You know it's like, and likebasically, yeah, and like
basically what it tells it.
It's like there these mice areable to swim multitudes longer
of the ones they don't try tosave because they're like any
(33:12):
moment I'm going to get saved.
They give them hope is what.
And I murdered this study, butthe idea is still the same and
you know, that's what you'redoing actually when you're out
there talking to the world, andthat's why I, like, I'm a huge
fan of the camera for this sortof stuff, I'm a huge fan of you
for this sort of stuff, becauseyou're giving hope right.
I'm trying because you can makeit through the system.
Is that why it's imperative tohave you involved with something
(33:35):
that's around this?
You know it's like.
It's like, yes, I'm horrified,absolutely that we're sending
kids to like these sort ofplaces before they even have a
chance.
They're set up for failure.
We know the recidivism rates ofoffenders in prison, you know.
Let alone when you sendsomebody that's innocent, you
know, and does nothing wrong,and all of a sudden you're going
to put them in a prison typeenvironment.
It's so much failure.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, well, you've institutionalized them already
and that's going to be what theyknow, and that's why we see
those those crazy high rates ofof um incarceration.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Cause it's just there , it's their normal.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There's so many broken systems that get there to
that, and we're starting withthe age out system, obviously,
because that's one that we canapproach, I think, and be
helpful, you know, and so fosterconnections is basically going
to be a hub for those placesthat currently exist hoping to
do YouTube videos.
I hope eventually we get to dosome sort of documentary on your
story so you can control thatstory.
(34:31):
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Actually, I think that comessooner than later.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
And that that honestly it's it's so easy to
pull this stuff off and you knowthere's a lot of creatives in
the world that, um, you know Iactually talked to one last week
.
He came in here and he's likehey, I just want to help with
this sort of stuff, bringingawareness to foundations and
things like that.
I was like funny that you saythat because, like literally, I
think that's a pivotal thingthat foster connections needs to
be doing is using YouTube usingthe camera, go out, find an
(35:01):
amazing foundation, talk aboutit.
You know, it's like this placeexists in the world.
Kids you know, and then when itcomes to them needing it, they
have a place to contact, whereit helps them navigate how to
get the actual service.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
So, uh, yeah, I mean we and that's I, I I started
focusing so much more onnonprofits because they're
they're the people that aredoing like the making really
good, like good changes,positive influence, and they're
being impactful.
And I started focusing so muchof my energy on these nonprofits
because, like you're right,there are so many resources out
there but they teens don't knowhow to access them.
(35:35):
They don't know how to get tothem, and that's the only way
we're going to help is by makingsure that, okay, you, the
resources are there and makingsure that they know how to get
the resources.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I mean you've been a voice for that.
And then kids contact you quiteoften.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I mean you've been a voice for that, and then kids
contact you quite often, don'tthey?
Yes, yeah, I do, I mentor.
I mentor kids Usually it's fromTikTok, but I mentor some teens
case by case basis, I would say.
Usually I try to like referthem to to another like
nonprofit organization, butthere are some, there are some
teens that just they touch myheart and I'll mentor them
(36:14):
throughout their journey andI'll help them make sure that
they have the right resourcesand access and also just being
like a shoulder.
It's.
Some of the things that I'veheard are it's.
I mean, I know that I had acrazy upbringing, I know that my
foster care story is reallyrough, but it's not unusual,
(36:41):
it's not unique and the thingsthat I hear from these teens is
so difficult.
It is so difficult and it makesme so angry and it just hurt.
It hurts my heart and I I haveto keep going, right, I have to
keep going.
I have to keep making thesechanges and and helping Cause
(37:04):
there's.
You know, there's no use injust being mad and not doing
anything.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah.
So, if I give you a magic wandtomorrow to like, fix this
system.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I hate this question.
Tell me a little bit about howyou fix it.
I hate this question.
Um, you know well, when we lookat it, right, you have to start
at the root cause, and the rootcause, generally I would say,
is, um, it starts with a family.
So we need to find a way.
(37:33):
Well, and drugs like addiction,addiction is, um, the number
one reason why kids are infoster care, you know, cause
their parents are addicts.
Yeah, so we have to start atthe at the beginning, right?
So I mean, we need to addressmental health and we need to
(37:54):
address addiction, and fixingthose things will help impact
foster care in a way, like youknow, kids won't be going there.
But if we had to change fostercare, we need to.
You know, you can't throw moneyat problems, that's.
(38:15):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
You know, foster parents don't get paid a whole
lot but, um, a lot of people doit for the money and we're we're
advertising like at like seven11, like they'll be like do you
want, do you want to make extramoney?
Become a foster parent.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Really.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yes, and they have like like literally like those,
uh like pull tabs, like we likepull a phone number off.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
No way.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Like, yes, and they have like, we just like and I'm
like this is this is how you'regetting foster parents Like,
this is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Why?
Why did they make it?
Like?
I have a good friend, he's verysuccessful, wife's very
successful, beautiful milliondollar house that they live in
Great people.
You know it's like theystruggled to get to adopt.
They had a hard time.
They tried to have kids for awhile.
They struggled to adopt Like itwas really tough for them.
It was a couple of year process, but then there's pull tabs out
(39:09):
there to be like explain thatto me.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Well, I mean, my, my view of adoption is a little bit
different than I think mostpeople would have.
I have a different perspective,but it goes back to where I
said.
We have to change the way weview foster kids, because we
look at them like they didsomething wrong.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Or there's something inherently flawed within them.
And they're unwanted, andthey're unwanted.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
And it's difficult to change that perspective and
that idea that society has.
And so it's hard to get fosterparents.
I would say it's difficult toget good foster parents because
people who do get in it for theright reasons and they're like
kind and they, they lead withkindness and they're they're
good foster parents, they'regoing to get burned out.
(40:05):
They're going to get burned outthere.
You know the.
The system is just there.
It's flawed at so manydifferent stages.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
You know, like we're, we're failing the kids, we're
failing the foster parents.
The good foster parents arebeing, you know, given the
runaround, or you know it's,they can't find resources.
They need mental healthresources for one of their
foster kids.
The caseworker won't call themback, like.
And then you know they'reafraid to like, call the
(40:35):
caseworker.
The caseworkers are like okay,I'm going to take this kid away
from you put him in a new house,like, and they're like no, I
just want to help them, I justwant to find them resources and
uh, you know, it's just, it's somany stages, there's so many
stages where you know we'refailing.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
And so there's not like one simple solution to like
fix it, it's just, it'ssystemic, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
There's a documentary have you seen it?
How to manufacture a sexscandal or something like that.
It's crazy.
It's basically these fosterparents that they create in the
kids' minds that their parentshad done something awful to them
in the way of like taking themto this like sex cult thing.
(41:20):
And it turns out in thedocumentary that that wasn't
true.
Uh, that basically the reasonthat they had perpetuated that
is because if you had more of amental reason for mental illness
, they got paid more money.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yes, yeah, I talk about that so often is foster
parents are incentivized to tobasically say that you're a bad
kid.
Yeah, so I remember I, mylittle brother and I were only
11 months apart Um, so we're,we're super close and we fight.
We we fought so much as kidsand I remember him and I I think
(41:56):
we were like five and we werefighting each other and I got
labeled as violent and I waslike and my foster parents got
paid more money Like I would,but now what a reward system
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
It all comes down to broken reward systems too.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But now I'm a violent kid Right and I'm labeled as
that.
So the number of foster homesthat I was allowed to go to,
like it gets less and less andless, and foster parents are
just basically incentivized tobe like, oh yeah, this kid is
violent, or this kid is this, orthis kid has this, and the more
things that they add on, themore money they make, but they
(42:33):
don't care about therepercussions.
They don't care that, like I'mgoing to go through 10 more
years of foster care and I'monly going to be, the number of
homes that I'm allowed to go inis going to get smaller and the
quality of those homes is goingto be worse.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
All because somebody wanted to make some more money.
Calling you a violent kid yes.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, just for having a having a spat with my brother
at five years old is it'sinsane, it's crazy.
That's a normal kid thing.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
In that documentary, a couple of people end up going
to jail over it.
You know that sort of stuff,and they weren't award winner
parents by any means, but theyweren't doing that either, and
you know it's.
It's just crazy to me.
We see broken systems andusually there's a broken reward
system included in that.
You know, and so it's.
It's insanity the way that,like, we're treating these
systems, and that's why I'mexcited to like work on
(43:24):
something where we have you, hasinsight and, like I, I think
anybody that wants to work onchanging something needs to get
somebody involved that'simmersed into what it is, you
know, and then like, um, becauseyou can't change systems by
just guessing what they are, yes, yeah, and that's I mean even
now.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Even now, like I, the teens that I talk to, I always
try to get their perspective andtheir, their needs, because you
know I've been out of fostercare for, you know, a decade
Like um, so I I understand thesystem from my perspective, my
point of view, but it's changingRight.
So we need to know what's goingon and I'm I'm constantly
(44:05):
talking to to teens and I'mtrying to get them to be
involved, like get involved,speak up, advocate um, because
you know they're going tounderstand it even more than I
do and and I need theirperspective.
I can't, you know, you can'tchange things if you don't know.
You don't understand it deeply,and I do, but they, they
understand it a little more thanI do and it's a it's important
(44:28):
to recognize that.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We trash people and you know, it's like we're not
even giving them a shot, youknow, at at life.
You know, and everybodydeserves a shot at life, you
know.
And uh, and at the same timethen we set up the bad reward
systems for perpetuating thosesystems, you know, and it's like
, and then we make it for somereason somehow in those systems
very difficult for good peopleto help.
You know it's like I don't knowhow we do that on both ends, but
(44:51):
we somehow figure out doingthat on both ends.
When I first heard about thisthing, I knew immediately, like
I didn't know what to do to help.
You know, but I'm I knew thatlike and I say this on the show
all the time if it hits you hereand it hits you here, that
means and I mean your heart andyour stomach for those just
listening uh, that means youhave to do something about it,
you know.
(45:11):
And so like it.
I felt so hopeless in thatmoment to like help make an
impact, and that's when you knowwe got together with Mary and
some other people you know tolike try to make a difference
and you know, and even oneperson's worth it.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Yes, yeah, exactly, well, cause these kids.
They didn't do it, they didn'tdo anything wrong and we have to
, like you, have to raiseawareness first.
I think, like I agree, peoplejust don't even know what foster
care is, or they have such amisconstrued idea of it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
When I use that stat, people are horrified.
Yeah, when I tell them aboutkids going to the youth
incarceration centers, they'rehorrified.
So what does that tell you?
If we could tell more peoplethat alone it would change it.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Well, and it sucks, right, it sucks that we have to
make people care.
But you, you know, you don'tknow what you don't know, and
and so many people don't evenunderstand what's happening or
what's going on.
And you do, you have to, youhave to be like hey, listen,
this 90% of the people on deathrow came from foster care.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Like 80% of the children rescued from
trafficking came from fostercare, and you have to use these
crazy statistics, which arevalid and true, but you have to
do that just to get people tocare about it Otherwise,
otherwise they're not going tocare about foster kids.
They're like whatever, like whocares?
It doesn't affect me.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It doesn't affect me, so I don't care.
I mean, I think the assumptionis like people keep their eyes
closed on it and they justassume it's an we're taking care
of them, it's going, it's, it'sgetting handled properly, you
know, I think that's wheresomewhere better.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
They're like yeah, you're somewhere.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
They're taking them out of the broken home.
You know we have.
They're in paradise now.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I think that's the assumption of the American
population.
Oh, and it's just not true.
It's just not true.
It's so.
Foster is so bad, it's so badand I can't, there's there's,
there's nothing I can do to makepeople understand uh, foster
care the way that I do, but it'sjust so bad, it's so awful, it
is so terrible and it you justyou're set up for a life of
(47:06):
failure.
You're that's what you're setup for, that's what it's
creating, and it's reallydifficult to climb your way out
of that.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
Totally is.
You know it's like there's thatfinish line analogy.
You know where it's like ifyou're, they give a bunch of
variables, like if you'restarting with two parents or
you're starting with middleincome or whatever you start
where you're going to start onthat starting line Right and
like it's amazing how far thestart line even most kids are
starting Right.
It's like even if you just havelike a standard set of parents
(47:37):
from a middle-class background,you know it's like you're so far
ahead.
Yeah, you're already killing it,you're crushing it, and that's
why it's like a big majority ofmy work is under this like
intention, that like if you takemore people that had to deal
with horrible circumstances,situations without the rich
uncle, to help them, you know,like that sort of stuff and then
you help them get their successand I don't mean give it to
(47:59):
them by any means.
Nobody's given you anything inthis world, you know, not unless
you come from that you knowit's like.
But like you can educate aroundit, you can support you, can,
you know, like, be that ear tolisten.
You know it's like we canabsolutely do that in the world.
You know, and it's like we canabsolutely do that in the world.
You know it's like.
And those people, when theymake it, they change things.
(48:21):
I tell people this all the time.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
It's like if Elon Musk had grown up in the foster
care system.
Would it look the way it does?
Yeah, it would be.
It would be fixed.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Yeah, he'd be pissed off about it from growing up
into it.
It wasn't fair, and that's whyyou need that Elon Musk that's
out there right now, not gettingaged out to become homeless,
you know, because then they Imean you know a guy right now,
don't you that like is a geniusthat created some amazing
company.
Yeah, yeah, um came out of thefoster care system.
He did?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
He did.
Yeah, he, he owns a, a defensecompany, actually, and he's
doing um amazing things.
He's actually opening up a umamazing things.
He's actually opening up a um,a gifted program in Hawaii for
um, for foster kids and orphansfrom the entire for the world.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
They can come from anywhere.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
And he's opening up this gifted home and, um, I'm
really excited to see what hedoes.
But yeah, he's, you know, he'smade, he's made himself very
successful and he's giving back,he's trying, he's impacting
change and that's what we need.
That's what we need we just somany people, right, they don't
(49:25):
want to talk about their past ortheir trauma or their history.
They want to pretend like itdoesn't exist.
Yep, but if we don't talk aboutit, nobody's going to know,
nobody's going to change it, andwe need people.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
We need people who are going to be changers.
The sad part of it, too, is youneed to get your success.
If you've been through thisstuff, because this is the best
way to change it, people willlisten to you when you're in a
boardroom People.
If Bill Gates says something,he can change something right
now and nobody understands itlike somebody that's been
(50:00):
immersed into a system that'sdealt with the pain firsthand.
I actually applaud people thatcame from perfect system,
perfect families and still careabout this stuff Right.
It's like because you're caringabout it, just because you're a
good human, not because it'spainting you on a different
level, Right, and so it's likeyou grew up with everything and
you still care about this stuff.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
I you know, it's like .
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I know like a lot of us grow up and like we're mad
about the system and that's whywe want to change it, you know,
and so like, and that's fine too, you know, but they like those
people working together, andthat's the thing too.
It's like there's amazingamount of kindhearted people
that want to affect these, thesethings, and I think we're
hoping to be more of a thread toput people together.
This is a united front inchanging these things.
(50:36):
And youth incarceration groupsshould care, prison reformists
should care, you know like, uh,humanity people should care,
child welfare people should care, and if we all kind of work
together on the same problems,you know it's like they can make
a change.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, but it's so difficult, it's difficult.
That's the first.
That's the first step isgetting people to care.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Yeah, that's why I think what you're doing is
beautiful.
That's why, like, when somebodycomes at you, it's like I take
it so personal.
You know, it's like I get madon another level you could do
what you want to me, but like Ivery protective of you because I
see the amazing work thatyou're doing and the way people
come at you over it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I don't take them seriously, though.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
That's the thing, and I appreciate that you don't.
You know so.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
I'll do like some little like reply videos to some
of these hate comments and Itry to be lighthearted and like
mostly nice about it, but it'sjust hurt people, hurt people
you know, like happy, happypeople.
Don't hurt people.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
No.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
And so I just have to think about it that way.
It's like you know people are.
How hurt do they have to be toto be saying stuff like that,
you know, and and I just I justhave empathy for them, kindness,
and I'm like it's what italways is.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
You know, like when I have somebody that says
something crappy to me in thecomments or something like that,
I usually respond with kindness.
Or the other day some guy dropsin something nasty at me and
I'm like you know what I cantake this, you know, and so I'm
glad you're wasting your time onme, because I can deal with it
instead of hurting somebody else.
And to it, to that point, heactually came back and said
something nice to me.
You know about it.
(52:10):
You know it's like, so likethat's what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
They're looking for attention, and I mean they're
hurt, and that's where they Imean responding with kindness.
Right, you're you, you helpedhim, you know.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
It's just crazy, though.
Why go after you instead of theguy that's out there sitting in
the rented Ferrari trying tosell like a hundred dollar
course?
you know that is no good for youknow, it's like I don't
understand that, but it's, it'sthe world we live in.
You know, it's the, you know,like the people that are out
there trying to do the good inthe world, for some reason we
try to bring them down insteadof boost them up.
But and so I would say to you,um game changers out there, keep
(52:46):
doing it anyway, you know,survive out of spite.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Yes, lisa, you know it's like.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
I love the fire in your system, for, like what
you're doing, I really do.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
It's a lot.
There's a lot of fire in there.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah and uh.
So I want to give you a chanceto like.
You should probably tell peopleyour Tik TOK at least so they
can follow you yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
Yeah, that's my, that's my, everything.
There are hundreds of fakeaccounts of me, which is super
weird.
Yeah, accounts of me, which issuper weird.
Um, people like, take my videosand like, but I only have one.
I have one Instagram.
I have one Tik TOK, it's all.
Miss Lisa Pisa.
Um, but yeah, it's super, superodd All these little fake
(53:29):
seeing myself with all theseweird captions.
I'm like what do you?
Can you just not steal my video?
Speaker 1 (53:35):
for like taking your own text even.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Yeah, it's so odd.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Thank you for everything you're doing and
thanks for coming on the showtoday on your birthday.
You know really excited aboutwhat we're working on Um.
For those of you out there,especially creatives or anybody
on any level if you want to beable to help with foster
connections as we're building it, developing it um love to get
together.
Yeah, love to get together withcreatives.
(54:01):
Bring out a camera, let's makean event of it.
If you're also like somebodythat runs a foster foundation or
anything along those lines, wewant to bring awareness to what
you're doing and support goodpeople.
Um and uh.
Yeah, I want to thank you todayfor joining us on another
episode of Underdogs,bootstrappers, game Changers A
little bit different episode,but what I want you to totally
(54:23):
get out of this is success comeswith an obligation.
I truly believe in that.
That's fair.
And if you can get your success,you can do a hell of a lot more
with it.
And I also want you tounderstand the impact of systems
and we all get frustrated aboutthings, but then I implore you
to like dive a little bit deeperand understand the true
(54:44):
fundamentals of of what is goingwrong in that system so we can
actually fix things.
So think different folks.
Thanks for joining us.
Hello and welcome to underdogs,bootstrappers and game changers
(55:07):
.
This is for those of you that.
Thanks for joining us, tank.
My aim with this podcast is totake away some of the imaginary
roadblocks that are out there.
I want to help more underdogs,because underdogs are truly who
change the world.
This is part of our content forgood initiative.
All the proceeds from themonetization of this podcast
will go to charitable causes.
(55:29):
It's for the person that wantsit.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.