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August 11, 2025 32 mins

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Have you ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, as if your life force had been siphoned through an endless one-sided monologue? This episode dives deep into the phenomenon of the chatterbox – those who dominate conversations with non-stop talking, leaving little room for genuine exchange.

Behind every chatterbox lies a story of unhealed trauma. Many developed these patterns as children when they weren't heard, when they learned performing was the only way to receive attention, or when silence felt threatening. With compassion and insight, we explore the wound roots behind excessive talking: fear of not being seen, worth tied to usefulness, trauma responses to overwhelm, and avoidance of vulnerability. For those who recognize these tendencies in themselves and want to change, consciousness is the first step toward transformation.

But what about dealing with chatterboxes who have no interest in changing? These encounters aren't merely annoying – they're energetically depleting. What appears as simple talking is actually a form of domination that overrides your nervous system and, over time, creates hypervigilance and self-doubt. We offer practical strategies for setting boundaries, including how to interrupt the pattern, use time limits, develop energetic shields, and disengage guilt-free.

The episode introduces the concept of energy vampires – those who feed on others' emotional, mental, or spiritual energy through patterns like over-talking, constant crisis creation, or making everything about themselves. After interactions with them, you might feel exhausted, anxious, foggy, or emotionally disoriented – signs of energetic depletion rather than normal interaction fatigue.

Remember this empowering truth: your silence is powerful, your boundaries are sacred, and your energy is holy. You are not a container for someone else's chaos or a vault for endless words. By honoring your needs and setting clear boundaries, you create space for authentic connection – the kind that energizes rather than depletes.

Ready to protect your energy? Visit undetectednarcissist.com to access our special 5-minute guided meditation for energetically resetting after draining conversations. Your attention is currency – spend it wisely.

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelamyerun/

Website: https://www.undetectednarcissist.com

Blog posts: https://undetectednarcissist.com/blog/



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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist
Podcast.
Your host, angela Meyer, ishere to bring you clarity if you
are stuck in confusion,self-doubt or feel lost, without
a sense of direction.
This podcast is extremelydifferent because Angela comes
from a place of wisdom,compassion and has been able to
forgive the unforgivable.

(00:22):
She's a mental healthprofessional, trauma-informed
human consciousness guide andempowerment strategist.
She knows one can't truly healand recover when one is stuck in
hate, anger and fear.
One must rise above it, findmeaning, understanding,
compassion for oneself and thetoxic people within our lives.

(00:45):
This season is aboutself-empowerment,
self-realizations andtransformation.
There is always a blog postsupporting this information, so
please visitundetectednarcissistcom so get
ready to learn about yourself,others and find a way to truly
live and thrive.

(01:06):
Once again, enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Undetected Narcissist.
Today we're going to talk abouta chatterbox when they will not
stop talking.
So let me ask you this have youever left a conversation more
tired than before it started,like your life force was

(01:30):
siphoned through an endlessone-sided monologue?
I have, and this episode was aspecial request from my
chiropractor, so this is for you, deb.
I know she's smiling.
Today I will unpack what happenswhen we encounter or have just
crossed paths with a chatterboxperson, as well as when someone

(01:54):
recognizes these chatterboxtendencies and wants to change.
For I do this work not just fora special cluster of people,
but for everyone.
Before we begin, I need tovalidate the experience briefly.
So many people think they'rebeing mean or impatient for

(02:15):
feeling exhausted around thisdynamic.
We try to play nice and pretendto be genuinely listening, but
the experience can be highlyemotionally, physically and
mentally draining.
I want to believe that thisbehavior is unconscious and
unintentional, rooted inchildhood traumas.

(02:36):
So I will first start thisconversation with someone who
recognizes these chatterboxtendencies within themselves,
because at times it can be thetrauma speaking, crying for help
or just wanting someone tounderstand them better.
When someone recognizes thesechatterbox tendencies and wants

(02:58):
to change.
They've already taken thehardest step.
They've become conscious, takenthe hardest step, they've
become conscious.
Here's how I'd speak directlyto that soul with compassion,
truth and an invitation toevolve.
To the chatterbox person whowants to change.
First of all, thank you foryour honesty.

(03:19):
The fact that you're willing toname this part of yourself
means your soul is awake andreaching for something more.
That's no small thing.
You're not bad, broken ordoomed.
You're wounded, like all of us,and your healing begins with
listening.
The chatterbox energy, thenon-stop talking,

(03:42):
over-explaining, dominatingconversation often comes from
one or more of these roots Adeep fear and inner knowing that
you were not being heard.
As a child, your feelings werenever validated or mattered to
the critical person who raisedyou.

(04:02):
The next one performing to feelseen or loved.
Since you didn't grow up in ahome environment with
unconditional love, you learnedthat when you put on a mask and
performed, it got people'sattention.
Next, trying to control aconversation to avoid

(04:23):
vulnerability.
You learn through direct orindirect communication that when
you or someone you love showstheir vulnerable side, people
get hurt.
Words were weaponized and beinghonest and vulnerable only
caused more harm than good.
Next, feeling silence, becausesilence feels threatening or

(04:49):
exposing.
You learn in an early age thatsilence meant danger, always
walking on eggshells or waitingfor the shoe to drop.
And if your caregiver or anabusive person was quiet, it
meant that someone was introuble or something bad was
about to happen.
You never knew if you were introuble if someone else was, so

(05:13):
it made you hypervigilant attimes.
Next, avoiding intimacy byhiding behind constant talking.
Constant talking.
Since you grew up without anurturing caregiver and hands
were used as weapons instead ofhands of comfort, intimacy
became scary.
Trust was broken at such anearly age, so you built walls to

(05:37):
protect your fragile heart.
And lastly, feeling lost andconfused.
Why did something traumatichappen to you?
This is a trauma response thatmany mental health professionals
do not discuss or recognize.
It is a trigger responsebecause these individuals feel

(05:57):
so lost and confused as they aretrapped in the trauma loop of
victimhood.
As they are trapped in thetrauma loop of victimhood, they
are stuck in the humanexperience and may not yet be
ready to discover the lessonsthat needed to be learned from
those traumatic experiences.
So it is a cry for help Now.

(06:18):
This information is for everyone, not all the toxic, you know,
chatterbox individuals or thenarcissistic one.
So, for example, last week Ihad a guest stay with me for a
few days as we were attending aclass together.
My husband liked this man, buthe found him to be a chatterbox.

(06:42):
90% of the conversation camefrom him as we all sat down for
dinner one night.
Therefore, I agreed and Ishared that it was rooted in
childhood trauma and being who Iam and my healing intuitive
gifts to this world.
People love to share their painstories with me, so I shared

(07:03):
with my husband his childhoodpain story of why and how he
became a chatterbox.
I did it coming from a place ofa compassionate lens.
Did I share this informationwith my guest?
The answer is no, because I gotthe intuitive hit that he was

(07:23):
not ready, and that's perfectlyfine.
I respect everyone's timing andjourney.
So let's explore each patternwith a blend of trauma-informed
insight and soul wisdom, byunmasking the coping mechanisms
from survival to soul, fromsurvival to soul.
One over-talking, energeticdomination, shatterbox pattern.

(07:49):
The wound root fear of notbeing seen because you were
caught and bad things happened.
Your opinion or voice doesn'tmatter, so you learn to avoid
being hurt.
That silence was your bestfriend to survive a harsh
environment and reality controlthrough noise became is because

(08:13):
you are hyper vigilant andanxiety in silence because you
are waiting for the shoe to dropor you are about to get a
beating Soul invitation.
Trust in your presence andbeing seen and heard.
Pick your friends wisely andhealing through sacred listening

(08:39):
.
If you are communicating withstrangers, feel the room first.
Try to read the person beforeyou speak.
Listen to their words and toneof voice.
Are they kind, genuine andcaring, or are they harsh,
judgmental and enjoy picking onweaker people?
And here's the medicine Silenceas safety, because it allows

(09:05):
you time to process andintegrate.
It shows that you are genuinelytrying to listen instead of
dominating the conversation.
Embodiment practices of stayinggrounded, balanced and centered
before you speak, and learningto feel again and trust your

(09:25):
emotions by practicingrelational attunement, emotions
by practicing relationalattunement.
This all comes from an openheart to connect instead of the
wounded parts of you that feelsmall, insignificant and
invisible.
Number two overgivingself-sacrifice pattern.

(09:46):
Here's the wound root Worthtied in usefulness, fawning
response and childhoodenmeshment.
This wound I can recognizebecause some caregivers can
force you into this role whenthey do not want to take

(10:06):
responsibility as a parent.
My mother did this to me whenshe did not want to deal with us
kids, she locked herself in thebedroom.
Therefore, I had to cook, cleanand help raise my younger
brother.
Do I have resentment towardsher for doing this?
The answer is no.
It taught me survival skills,soul initiation, reclaim

(10:32):
boundaries.
Give from overflow, notemptiness.
Yes, learning boundaries waschallenging because I grew up in
a home that lacked boundaries,and when boundaries were
established as I healed, theyoften clashed, but you must
align with courage and yourtruth.

(10:53):
Boundaries are designed to keepus safe and give us peace of
mind.
And then here's the medicineSomatic no value without service
and conscious receiving.
I have learned this key phrasethat saved my sanity, time,
money and energy.

(11:14):
Instead of saying yes or no, Isay let me think about it.
Then I factor in the rest whenI'm alone.
Number three emotional shutdown,freeze, numbness,
detachmentachment, wound, root,trauma, response to overwhelm or
chronic invalidation.

(11:34):
This is a challenging one toheal and it takes a lot of
patience and compassion.
The nervous system learned toshut down to survive because the
traumatic events were too muchfor the body to handle.
It ties into the episode I didabout window of tolerance, where
I discuss hypoarousal, soulimitation, reconnect to the body

(12:00):
without flooding.
Your nervous system needs tolearn that the world and the
people around you are now safe,caring and nurturing.
You most likely have anavoidant or disorganized
attachment style.
As you heal, your attachmentstyle might shift from avoidant
to anxious and eventually secure.

(12:22):
And here's the medicine Gentlyre-enter, you know, through
sensation.
Do inner child safety andnervous system repair.
Number four spiritual bypassingwound root, avoiding pain by
ascending too quickly into angeror the shame spiral, jumping to

(12:47):
conclusions without all thefacts and creating a false sense
of identity over shadowintegration.
If you recognize thesetendencies in yourself, I
recommend listening to thefollowing episodes Hot Anger vs
Cold Anger, the Shame andShutdown Response and Window of

(13:07):
Tolerance to learn about hypopoarousal and see if these
patterns exist within yourself.
These episodes can be highlysupportive.
Most likely, these individualscan be hot-headed, toxic,
narcissistic, dangerous tothemselves and others and unkind
.
When they get trauma triggered,words can be weaponized,

(13:30):
sentimental items can becomedestroyed and fists can come
flying.
There is a great deal of rageand unprocessed negative
emotions that have been stuffeddown their entire life.
Here's the soul invitationShadow integration, sacred
embodiment and truth in mesh.

(13:53):
If we can step out of the humanexperience and realize we are
all here on earth to learnlessons, your soul will be able
to find the diamonds within thetruthful, messy crap you
experienced and survived.
And here's the medicine Honorall emotions as divine, embrace

(14:17):
both and grounded spiritually.
The vibrational frequency of250 is all about embodying the
emotional states of beinggrounded, balanced and centered
and coming back home to yourself.
Meditation or being out innature can be a fantastic form

(14:39):
of sacred medicine for the soul.
So learn to step out of theanger and redirect yourself.
Reduction is essential.
Correct yourself.
Reduction is essential.
Redirection is essential or youwill be stuck in the automatic
pilot of doing the same old harmto yourself and others.

(15:00):
That is why self-awareness iscritical for transformation.
Did I shift your perspectiveabout these types of people?
Transformation Did I shift yourperspective about these types
of people?
It can be heartbreaking becausethese people were innocent
children just trying to survive.
So the question becomes, if wedive deeper within ourselves
would be what's the silencetrying to show you?

(15:24):
What am I afraid others willsee if I stop talking?
My insecurities, deep innersadness or my low
self-confidence?
Have I healed and integrated myinner child yet?
What childhood pain stories andwounds do I need to heal and

(15:45):
learn from?
What can I do for myself todayto feel seen and loved without
involving another person, andcan I do this daily to rebuild
my sense of self-worth andself-acceptance?
Can I practice having aconversation where I learn to
pass the ball rather thandominating the conversation by

(16:09):
holding onto it and neverpassing it?
Can I start to practice feelingokay with moments of silence
when I'm around others?
Why am I avoiding intimacy andwhat is that avoidance here to
teach me?
Can I let my trauma pain storygo or are there lessons I'm not

(16:33):
ready to learn because I'm stillstuck in anger and resentment?
And lastly, do I use my painstory and trauma to seek
sympathy and attention when Idominate a conversation?
I am here to help, not harm.
So here's my advice.

(16:54):
One, practice sacred pausesBefore speaking.
Take one breath.
Ask yourself before you speakis this for connection or
control?
Lastly, silence isn't rejection.
It's an imitation to feel.
Allow yourself to feel insteadof suppressing your emotions by

(17:18):
controlling the conversation.
Two, get curious, notcontrolling Instead of
performing.
Ask questions.
People appreciate it when youshow genuine interest in them.
For example, try asking theperson how did that make you
feel?
Or tell me more about yourexperience.

(17:40):
And lastly, let others lead theconversation sometimes.
And lastly, let others lead theconversation sometimes.
Trust that you're stillvaluable even when you're not in
the spotlight.
Number three heal the innerchild who had to shout to be
seen.
Guided inner child work ispowerful here.

(18:02):
About 80% of my clients I workwith eventually need some form
of inner child healing andintegration.
Why it is essential is thatthere is a part of you that may
have once felt invisible orunsafe unless you were talking,
performing or pleasing.
It was a survival mechanism andthere is zero shame in that

(18:27):
truth.
We all do what we must tosurvive.
So when you do inner child work, you show them they are safe
now, they can rest, they areloved, without needing to
explain anything.
This is a beautiful gift we aregiving to ourselves and the

(18:48):
people in our lives.
Number four apologize withintegrity, not shame.
If you recognize moments whereyou're dominating conversations,
you can say I realize I talkeda lot just now.
I'm working on making space forothers and I'd really love to
hear your thoughts too.

(19:09):
That takes courage and theperson will truly appreciate
your vulnerability and honesty.
Also, this builds trust andshows self-awareness, not shame.
And lastly, number five, notshame.
And lastly, number five, letstillness teach you.
Through meditation, body scansand somatic work, you can

(19:37):
cultivate a sense of safetywithin yourself.
The more at home you are within, the less you'll need to seek
safety and protection throughtalking.
And here's my final message youdon't need to perform to be
loved, and you don't need todominate to be heard.
In fact, your presence ispowerful, even in silence.
So remember this truth You'renot broken, you're becoming.

(20:01):
Now let's shift gears.
Who is the chatterbox?
Narcissistic or toxic personwho doesn't want to change or
believes there's nothing wrongwith them?
These types of narcissistic ortoxic people aren't always
overtly cruel, but they areenergetically draining their

(20:23):
primary weapon Words, lots ofthem All the Time.
They Dominate everyconversation.
Don't listen, only wait tospeak.
Love hearing themselves talk,especially about themselves.
Ignore your boundaries,interruptions or signals.

(20:44):
Use endless monologues tocontrol attention and emotional
space.
Over time, they don't just talkover you, they erase you.
So let's talk about theenergetic mechanisms.
We're going to break down whythis kind of behavior is so
harmful, even though it may seemharmless.

(21:07):
Here are some key points tocover and understand.
It's not communication, it'sdomination in disguise.
Narcissistic over-talking is aform of control, not connection.
It overrides your nervoussystem, not connection.

(21:29):
It overrides your nervoussystem, forces you into freeze,
fawn or flight mode.
You stop sharing your truthbecause there's no room left.
The inner impact and what itdoes to your soul.
Over time it createshypervigilance, always bracing
for the next word storm Silence,always bracing for the next
word, storm Silence.
They silence your inner voice.

(21:50):
It trains you to feel invisible, unimportant or selfish for
having needs.
When you have a business that isdesigned to heal, not harm, and
you meet one of these types ofpeople, it can be highly
challenging.
You want to help them, but theywill not stop talking.

(22:17):
The clock is ticking and timecan run out.
You haven't even started tohelp them and they won't stop
venting or complaining.
What do you do?
How can you keep your composure, respect the next client
waiting and remain professional?
So here I am.
I want to help you learn how tohandle a narcissistic or toxic
chatterbox.

(22:38):
Here's where the empowermentlands Practical and spiritual
tips.
A Interrupt the PatternPractice saying I'm going to
pause you there.
I want to speak too and I needspace for that.
Or, if they interrupt youspeaking, say Please allow me to

(22:59):
finish speaking.
When I get interrupted.
It hurts my feelings, so let mecontinue speaking, please.
This takes courage, confidenceand practice.
B Use time limits.
Say I have about 5 or 10 minutesto chat.
I want to share what's beengoing on with me as well.

(23:22):
I will keep this brief and gofirst, as I know you have a lot
more to say and our time isimportant.
Or you can say can we bothshare what's going on?
I have a few things to say thatmight interest you.
C Energetic shields.

(23:43):
Before entering a conversation,visualize a gold mesh over your
ears that filter out noise, butlet truth pass through.
Or imagine a divine mute buttonyou can press internally.
I will explain why.
When I discuss energy vampires.
D Stop over explainingChatterboxes rarely hear what

(24:07):
you mean, just what you say.
Speak briefly, speak clearly,then disengage.
E Disengage guilt-free.
Here's what you can say.
I'm going to step away now.
I have other obligations thatare time sensitive.
We can connect again at a laterdate and time.

(24:30):
Or, if you are feelingcourageous, you can say this
this conversation doesn't feelmutual and I need to honor my
energy.
That's not rude, it'srevolutionary, but it might
trigger someone.
So stay mindful.
And lastly, number fivespiritual insight.

(24:50):
These souls are often terribleand terrified of silence,
because in silence they have toface their own emptiness.
Their noise is armor, but youare not here to be the stage for
someone else's avoidance.
You are here to be fully met,fully seen and fully respected.

(25:17):
So what is an energy vampire?
An energy vampire is someonewho feeds on your emotional,
mental or spiritual energy,often unconsciously, leaving you
feeling drained, disoriented orsmall after interacting with
them.
They may not suck your blood,but they absolutely siphon your

(25:41):
light.
They operate through patternslike over-talking without
listening, constant crisiscreation, drama, addiction,
guilt-tripping or emotionalmanipulation, passive-aggressive
jabs and chronic complaining,fishing for attention,

(26:03):
validation or pity makingeverything about them and,
lastly, ignoring your boundaries, time and space.
Not all energy vampires arenarcissistic, but many
narcissists are energy vampires.
Many narcissists are energyvampires.

(26:24):
So let's explore what it feelslike to be around one.
After interacting with an energyvampire, you may feel exhausted
, even if you didn't do anything, physically demanding, anxious,
heavy foggy or emotionallydisoriented, like your own
thoughts or needs werecompletely overridden, guilty

(26:45):
for wanting space even thoughyou know you need it.
And, lastly, invisible or hyperaware of how your need to show
up for them.
This is not normal interactionfatigue.
It's energetic depletion.

(27:06):
Now let's explore why theydrain us spiritually and
psychologically Energy vampiresare often people who have deeper
inner voids and they refuse tofeel Seek external energy
because they're disconnectedfrom their own soul source.

(27:27):
They lack self-regulation anddepend on others to emotionally
regulate them.
And, lastly, they mistakecontrol, chaos or attention for
connection At a soul level,attention for connection At a
soul level.
They've forgotten how to sourcefrom within, so they

(27:57):
unconsciously feed on others tofeel full Spiritual insight how
the soul responds.
Your soul is sensitive, wise.
It feels when something is off.
Even if your mind hasn't caughtup, you might feel the need to
withdraw.
Set firm boundaries, limitaccess, cleanse your field
afterwards.
This is your intuition.

(28:18):
An energy body protecting you,trust it.
Are you still confused?
Let's explore how to know ifyou're dealing with one.
Ask yourself these questions DoI feel smaller, heavier or more
self-critical after interactingwith this person?
Do I feel like I'm alwaysgiving but rarely receiving?

(28:41):
Do I feel like I'm being subtlycontrolled or manipulated
through emotion and guilt?
Do I constantly need to recoverafter seeing them?
If yes, it's likely anenergetic vampire dynamic.
And remember, this can happenwith co-workers, friends,

(29:03):
spiritual teachers, parents,siblings and even lovers.
Energy vampires are everywhere,especially in environments where
empathy is high and boundariesare low, opposites attract.
Serving as our teacher to learnhow to set boundaries and

(29:23):
protect our energy.
Final soul truth not everyonedeserves full access to your
field.
Your energy is sacred.
It is not selfish to protect it.
In fact, it is not cruel towalk away from people who drain
you.
It is wise and it is holy.

(29:46):
I want to offer everyone aclosing short empowerment riff
when dealing with these energyvampires, because you don't owe
your sacred attention to anyonewho treats your ears like a
dumping ground.
Your energy is not disposableand your presence is a gift.

(30:06):
Let your silence become aboundary and your voice become a
sword.
Empowerment Rift.
You are not a container forsomeone else's chaos, for
someone else's chaos.
You are not a container forsomeone else's chaos.
Remember your boundaries,because you are not a vault for

(30:28):
endless words.
You are not a dumping groundfor recycled stories and
self-obsession.
You are a sovereign being, asacred presence, a being of
breath, silence, stillness andsound.
When someone fills every spacewith noise, that's not

(30:50):
connection, that's consumption.
You get to interrupt the spell.
In fact, you get to say enough.
You get to walk away withoutguilt, without explanation,
without apology, because yourattention is a currency and
you're no longer spending it onoverdrawn egos.

(31:14):
Let the over talkers talk totheir own emptiness.
You will commune with truth Ifnecessary.
You will speak when there'ssomething real to say.
You will listen to your ownbody first and you will choose
peace over performance.
Remember this truth yoursilence is powerful, your

(31:39):
boundaries are sacred and yourenergy holy, untouchable,
divinely protected.
I have a gift for everyone.
Because your time and peace ofmind are essential, I have
created a five-minute guidedmeditation to help you
energetically reset after adraining conversation.

(32:01):
Help you energetically resetafter a draining conversation.
If your employer gives you a 10to 15 minute break twice a day,
use that time to rechargeyourself and listen to this
guided meditation.
If you're about to enter anengagement with someone, use
this right before and even after.
It's a gift you give toyourself.

(32:22):
So until next time, in love andlight.
Angela Meyer, keri Logan, havea great day.
Bye.
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