August 18, 2025 • 41 mins
What happens when we look in the mirror and see our darkest aspects staring back? This episode dives deep into the transformative power of shadow integration versus the destructive path of spiritual narcissism.
I share my personal journey of encountering Teal Swan as my mirror – how we share similar wounds, traumas, and even the angel/fairy godmother archetype, yet chose dramatically different paths of healing. This isn't about cancellation; it's about conversation. It's about recognizing how unhealed trauma can either be weaponized or alchemized.
Shadow integration begins with recognition – identifying those triggers that reveal our hidden parts. Then comes exploration – understanding why these aspects exist within us. Finally, through integration, we bring these fragmented pieces home rather than projecting them onto others. This stands in stark contrast to spiritual narcissism, which uses spiritual practices to enhance the ego rather than transcend it.
The entertainment industry normalizes our shadow through anti-heroes and revenge narratives, conditioning us to accept darker patterns. But there's another way. By facing our shadow with compassion – our anger, manipulation, control needs – we transform reactive patterns into responsive wisdom.
Whether you're navigating your own shadow journey or seeking to understand the spiritual narcissism you've encountered, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and practical steps toward wholeness. Because when we dare to meet the darkness within ourselves and each other without judgment, that's how we heal – not just individually, but collectively.
Listen to "The Cracked Mirror: A Journey to Wholeness" meditation for supported shadow integration and embodied 5D consciousness. Walk gently, love boldly, and remember: you are not too much. You are a mirror too.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelamyerun/
Website: https://www.undetectednarcissist.com
Blog posts: https://undetectednarcissist.com/blog/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Undetected Narcissist.
Yes, I cut the intro becausethis one is a little bit long
and I respect your time.
The Mirror and the MedicineHealing Through Shadow
Integration.
I have a warning this episodemight feel like a shot, but it's
the kind that immunizes youfrom spiritual ego.
(00:22):
What you're about to hear isthe transmission of raw truth,
radical self-honesty andreverence for the shadow, for
the mirror and the mystery ofour evolution.
This is not about cancelinganyone.
This is about reclaimingeverything the pain, the
projections, everything, thepain, the projections, the power
(00:48):
.
It's about how we face thedarkness within ourselves not to
fight it, but to hold it,integrate it, alchemize it.
In this episode I will share mypersonal journey of shadow
integration, spiritual traumaand what I saw reflected in Teal
Swan, a mirror that crackedsomething open in me and gave
birth to this message how Ichose the path of integration
(01:08):
over inflation and a pathtowards higher consciousness,
not spiritual narcissism.
In a previous episode, the PainStory or the Soul Lesson, I
unpacked how one woman'snarcissistic, vulnerable mother
was her mirror and teacher.
They were opposites and bothserved a purpose, even when the
(01:30):
human experience can't standtheir mirror.
But the soul understands whySome might grasp these concepts
and others might not, and that'sokay.
But if you get triggered,something inside of you is
trying to get your attention.
It is like a cry for help todive deep into self-reflection.
From there you explore yourpain story by recognizing the
(01:54):
triggers, being open to healingand integrating.
So I recommend listening to thepain story or soul lesson first
, if you haven't already.
Story or soul lesson first ifyou haven't already.
As odd as it may sound, I'mexcited to dive into the world
of spiritual narcissism andshadow integration.
Today We'll explore thedifference between feeding the
(02:14):
ego and mastering the darknessof true enlightenment.
I will do my best to highlightthe differences between feeding
the ego and mastering yourshadow self.
So let me begin by sharingsomething you may not know.
I'm studying to become apsilocybin facilitator.
Why?
Because I'm absolutelyfascinated by the
(02:37):
neuroplasticity of the brain andhow psychedelics, like magic
mushrooms, can bypass the egoand create harmony between parts
of the brain that don'ttypically communicate.
Pretty cool, right.
What's even more amazing isthat the sacred medicines are
being used to support peoplehealing from deep depression,
(02:57):
ptsd, addiction, even braininjuries and, yes, even
narcissism.
And yes, I've taken mushrooms.
My first trip was one of mylife's most profound spiritual
experiences, beautifullyorchestrated by the universe,
with synchronous knees, I couldnot ignore.
If you want to feel one withthe creator and vibrate with
(03:19):
unconditional love, thismedicine has the potential to
open that door.
During that trip, somethingsurfaced I encountered one of my
invisible walls, a block aroundintimacy and marriage.
It was a gift, the kind of giftonly truth can bring.
Now, as part of my training, wemust learn about shadow work,
(03:41):
which is my specialty.
Almost every client I work witheventually needs a parts
integration or some inner childhealing.
My instructor recommended one ofthe videos to a student which
he labeled the mirror on what wehate.
But the real title is whypeople hate Teal Swan.
Yes, that Teal Swan, and yes, Ilaughed, not out of judgment,
(04:06):
but because the irony was divine.
I must share that.
I was not aware.
My instructor was a fan of TealSwan and he admired certain
aspects of her work, and that isokay.
All of this content comes from aplace of awareness, not
judgment.
Let me explain the differenceso that you can grasp the
(04:26):
concept.
Awareness comes from a neutral,compassionate and understanding
lens of perspective, comingfrom a 5D mindset.
It is just information.
I have zero attachment to theinformation I've gathered.
I see it, I get it Now.
If judgment is a 3D trait and amindset that leads to
(04:47):
perceiving and assuming theperson is flawed, if I want to
feed my ego, this person isbelow me, I could feel a sense
of entitlement and otherinsulting, rigid viewpoints.
I do not operate that way.
Nobody can heal from thoselower destructive thought
patterns.
So let's move on.
(05:08):
When I told him that Teal Swanhas spiritual narcissism, he was
shocked.
He did not want to listen andbelieved I hated her, but I do
not.
I suggested he watch thedocumentary the Deep End to
broaden his perspective.
Well, he didn't, because we hada week before the next class
and he masked the title of thevideo why People Hate Teal Swan,
(05:30):
rather than dropping down andtaking it personally in 3D
frequencies of how dare youregret for speaking my truth,
feeling like a classroomembarrassment, or getting angry,
or even feeling insulted, orgetting angry or even feeling
insulted, I laughed.
I stayed centered in the 5Drealm of love, joy and gratitude
.
I knew this was going to bejuicy.
(05:50):
Here is something you, dearlisteners, do not know Teal is
my mirror.
We share similar shadow traitsand one archetype.
We are the polar opposite ofspiritual enlightenment and the
approaches we follow, and that'sexactly what makes this
conversation so powerful.
It was divinely timed for thisspecific topic I intended to
(06:13):
cover in season four.
Are you shocked?
Just wait and listen, please.
I will unfold and unpack thisperfectly so that everyone can
comprehend and grasp how I amher mirror.
So have you ever heard of theterm NARPATH?
It's a combination ofnarcissist and an empath.
Sounds contradictory, but it'svery real.
(06:35):
But that sensitivity, whenwounded and unhealed, can be
weaponized.
That's when the shadow comes toplay.
When someone you love or trustshows their shadow side, it can
be shocking, sometimes violentand often heartbreaking.
Now another perfect example isthe seven deadly sins.
All those sins are shadowaspects that everyone has within
(06:58):
them.
You heard me everyone.
What matters is whether wemaster the shadow self aspect or
allow them to consume our souls, causing more harm to others
and ourselves for the next sevengenerations.
I say no.
The truth is, if we do notmaster, heal and integrate our
shadow self aspect, those deadlysins and tendencies are stored
(07:21):
in our DNA for other generationsto resolve.
It's not fair, but it's true.
All these countless years ofsuffering could have been
avoided if we had thisinformation.
Now, this just popped in myawareness and I'm not religious,
but this does make sensebecause I heard the sins of our
fathers and was guided to lookit up.
Here's what I found.
(07:42):
The concept of the sins of thefather is referred to several
Bible verses.
While some verses suggest Godpunishes children for their
parents' sin, others clarifythat individuals are ultimately
held accountable for their ownactions.
Therefore, what I just sharedis spot on.
It is not our creator punishingus, but we punishing ourselves
(08:04):
and our offspring within thecoding of our DNA.
But I know how to clear it andI have.
So there's some good news,right.
Hollywood and anti-heroes.
Hollywood glamorizes the darkhero archetype as seen in John
Wick, dexter, peaky Blinders andany Marvel series.
We eat it up, but we alsointernalize it.
(08:28):
We get numb to the violence,gore and pure revenge.
The sad realization is that theentertainment industry has
become incredibly darker.
From the movies I saw in the1970s and early 2000s, more gore
, violence, rape, hatred, nudity, explicit sex, crime and
revenge.
Why Shock value?
(08:50):
And we pay for it.
We love it, we want more of it.
Stand in line for it and wecan't believe our eyes.
Give me more we say, but I donot, and here is why it's
conditioning and grooming youngminds.
You see my choice of words.
It influences more of theshadow self aspects within us
(09:10):
all by removing the filter ofmorals, values and ethics, and
by removing the filter andmaking it more acceptable.
That explains why we arewitnessing more violence within
our schools and communities.
Online trolls, catfishing,clickbait and scammers, hunger
for fame and social media likes.
(09:31):
Mental health crisis, like theanxious generation, sex
trafficking, addictive behaviorslike social media, drugs and
porn, a revenge mindset likerandom shootings, take what's
mine or steal withoutconsequences, marry for money,
not love, and such other toxic,dysfunctional, mindless
(09:52):
programming and conditioning.
In our world today, we arecapable of so much more than
these barbaric, egotistical waysof thinking, acting and
behaving.
It's 2025.
On the flip side, it allowsactors a healthy release by
(10:14):
playing a villain.
It is pretend, but have theyhealed and integrated their
shadow self aspect?
That's the real question.
So, in a way, unintentionallyand unconsciously, we are
planting the seeds ofdestruction of life instead of
promoting life.
We should be creatingentertainment that expires,
uplifts us, encourages equality,connection and cooperation
(10:34):
rather than separation andfurther dark destruction.
I was watching the series 1923,and I saw many people in the
show who did not integrate andheal their shadow aspects, but
weaponize them, even the priestsand nuns.
And the one that stood out themost was the filthy rich man
that said I will take what'smine or steal your land and make
(10:56):
it my own attitude.
And as one man said on the show, he is dark, darker than dark,
pure evil.
So if Hollywood is listening, Iwant something inspiring that
fills me with hope in a worldcurrently filled with real life
violence, wars, anger, revenge,inflated egos, liars,
backstabbers and pretendhappiness.
(11:18):
I believe the collective of 4Dand 5D people want the same
thing, as evidenced by my ownexperience of stopping going to
the movies, understandingSpiritual Narcissism.
Spiritual narcissism at its coreis a choice to use your shadow
instead of healing it.
(11:38):
You can become an influencerwithout ever integrating the
parts of yourself that arewounded, manipulative and crave
attention and fame.
They have this.
I will transform your lifethrough punishment and
submission, or God told me topunish you for your sins, so
backwards.
But people pay good money forthis form of punishment,
(12:01):
humiliation and cruelty.
Seeking spiritual enlightenment,therefore, the individual
recognizes their shadow selfside and, through spiritual
practices of self-enhancement,can fool some of us into
thinking we're evolving andgrowing, when all we're growing
is our own dark, shadow ego.
(12:21):
Light versus dark.
They are teaching what theyknow as spiritual enlightenment
by causing pain and suffering toothers rather than causing no
harm to them.
It's all rooted in unintegratedfear, anger that has turned
into deep-seated resentment andunresolved childhood traumas yes
(12:43):
, trauma.
Therefore, some will initiallyappear caring and thoughtful,
luring you into their web toextract your money.
It's love-bombing baby in thename of spirituality.
Yes, these individuals can beintimidating, cutthroat and
ruthless when their methods ofspiritual transformation are
challenged or questioned.
(13:04):
I mean, how dare you questionmy authority?
Little humor here.
Even when another triggers thesespiritual or religious figures
or leaders, all the dark, evil,ugly, traits and thought
patterns of human consciousnesscan come crawling to the surface
.
This can leave others feelingemotionally invalidated,
(13:25):
rejected, abandoned, betrayedand victimized.
These spiritual narcissistswill gaslight you so well that
your head might spin.
Then comes the threats thatyou're gonna go to hell or that
you will suffer and be punishedfor not believing in a specific
religion or living a truespiritual lifestyle.
Even Christians have a badreputation because if you're not
(13:47):
a Christian, then you're goingto hell.
This explains why many peopletoday are seeking more of a
spiritual approach than areligious lifestyle.
It does not excuse theirbehaviors and actions.
I want you to understand andrecognize the why and how it
happens.
The flip side of spiritualnarcissism can range from even
(14:07):
toxic positivity, such as therigid belief for saying good
vibes only.
Even toxic positivity can be aform of shadow, the good vibe
only crowd or religious threatsof damnation.
Therefore, when I watched theTeal Swan documentary back in
(14:28):
2022, the Deep End I saw it inaction the ego cloaked in
spiritual wisdom and practices.
The methods felt like sexualdominance, control and power
masquerading as healing.
I observed a blend of ego andempathic qualities, along with
claims to channel beings oflight and love.
(14:48):
But I also witnessed spiritualnarcissism in practice, with the
way people were treated and howshe claimed to passionately
hate the spiritual community.
That word hate says it all ifyou're genuinely listening.
Even Sadiqa Kove on the websiteMedium wrote a fantastic
(15:11):
article about the Deep Enddocumentary and said why Teal
Swan's cult of personality isdangerous to trauma survivors.
If you check out her article,you might get a clearer picture
of what I'm trying to relay.
If you have been a victim ofspiritual narcissism or question
if someone you might know mightbe a victim.
(15:31):
Therefore, I believe in freewill and the healing process,
which takes times.
I will not force another personinto submission by
waterboarding them in a swimmingpool and then whispering in
their ear when they're shatteredinto pieces I love you.
Yeah, that happened to thatstrong-willed woman and she had
a smile on her face.
(15:51):
The camera did not lie and Iknew that this is not the path I
walk.
As a spiritual advisor andhealer, even Sister Miriam
wanted me to stop her, but Idon't have a million followers.
I believe in boundaries, yes,but not in harm.
As a spiritual advisor andhealer, I believe in the power
of sacred space, the importanceof discernment and the value of
(16:15):
choosing compassion overmanipulation and control.
So I watched the recommendedvideo about why people hate Teal
Swan and was not offended ortriggered.
It was the exact opposite.
So when I was called upon inthe Zoom class to share my
thoughts and feelings about hervideo, I think I shocked my
instructor.
I told him that I loved it andthat it inspired this content.
(16:37):
In a way, I could tell he wasmystified and I was guided from
above to share more.
I spoke about her coming from aplace of understanding, wisdom,
compassion and unconditionallove.
I explained the why factor froma place of non-judgment.
That day I was the teacher, notthe student.
Now let's get personal.
Teal and I share a history ofvarious forms of child abuse and
(17:01):
trauma by a parental figure.
Both of us endured spiritualabuse.
It leaves a mark.
She was raised in a cult and astrict Christian who beat his.
You know wives and childrenraised me.
If you don't process that pain,it shows up as rage In the
episode of hot rage versus coldrage.
(17:21):
I talk about that.
The next one we share arecontrol and manipulation.
Then we share the angel slash,fairy, godmother archetype.
But there's an even darker sideto this archetype.
We are survivors, she and I.
To survive, we built big,invisible walls.
So let's talk about anger andrage.
(17:44):
Before I proceed, I want toapproach this subject matter
from a place of love and wisdomrather than fear.
Let me make this clear why.
I want you to understand themind and shadow self aspect of
the person you fell in love withand trusted, who was your best
friend, business partner,spiritual teacher or family
(18:04):
member.
Their extreme anger, brutalhonesty and cutthroat verbal
abuse were their shadow selvescoming out and exposing itself
before your eyes.
What was seen cannot be unseen.
They show their true colors.
When someone shows their shadowself, it can be rather shocking
(18:24):
and scary.
The words that cut you sodeeply that you are still
bleeding years later can hauntyou in your dreams, and
Hollywood loves it.
It explains why a nun or priestwho calls himself a disciple of
God can abuse a child.
The repressed anger, resentmentand rage come out and they
(18:45):
rationalize it, justify that itis the medicine you need, and
they hide behind the mask ofreligion.
This false assumption andrighteousness attitude permits
them to harm others because theybelieve it is God's will or God
told them to do it.
Let me make this clear whatspeaks to them is not our
(19:07):
creator, but their dark shadow,self-wounded ego and dark
angelic archetype.
Let's move on.
How did I heal my angry shadowself side?
Since my parents' number oneform of punishment was spanking,
not with hands, but hittingwith various wooden or metal
(19:29):
objects, and some broke duringthe beatings, I vowed myself to
not do this.
Being harshly spanked andbeaten only taught me that it
was a cruel form of punishmentfull of hot rage and anger.
Since I experienced extremechild abuse, I knew I needed
help.
I went to counseling at a youngage and started reading
(19:50):
spiritual and self-help books.
Into counseling at a young ageand started reading spiritual
and self-help books.
The first book I read aboutanger that spoke to me was the
Dance of Anger.
I highly recommend it.
When I knew I was going to be aparent, I took parenting classes
and read books about newapproaches in parenting.
Therefore, since I helped raisemy younger brother and healed
in my early teenage years, Ibecame the kiddo you could trust
(20:13):
with your infant and toddler,even children with special needs
and disabilities.
I was that safe space.
Having spent years caring forother people's children and
gaining valuable knowledge, Ifelt pretty confident in my
tools that I acquired.
However, our kids learned topush our buttons so well.
They strive to master the artof no boundaries until they
(20:36):
become a teenager.
They break the rules and someeven try to get their parents to
snap.
When I felt like I had no otheroptions available in my parental
toolbook, I tried spanking withmy hand.
I know I hate to admit it.
I've spanked my children threetimes, maybe four, and every
time it broke me I begged forforgiveness after the act.
(21:01):
I never spanked out of anger,but more frustration.
I felt the shame and guilt ofportraying my core values for
weeks, months and even years.
This is not who I am or who Iwant to be, but this is my
shadow self aspect coming out.
I vowed never to do it again,but I did Not to my children,
but a covert narcissist.
(21:21):
I've hit my son's father with alint roller brush once in a
moment of reactive abuse whiletrying to protect our baby from
his drunken violence.
Again, not proud, but it's mytruth.
Can anyone relate?
I know some people believespanking is acceptable and they
survived it, but every childresponds differently.
Now I must share this truth.
(21:43):
When I fell from grace, I had tolearn not to beat myself up
mentally and emotionally.
This is not an easy task, assome of you may know.
The things we can think and sayabout ourselves can be so
damaging and destructive.
So be kind.
Some people, when they fallfrom grace, will physically hurt
themselves or spiral down intoaddictive behaviors because of
(22:07):
the guilt and shame.
I had to remember that I amhuman and no human is perfect.
I had to take my advice, learnfrom the lesson, show myself
grace and forgiveness and findpositive solutions to avoid my
shadow aspect of anger fromhurting myself and another with
(22:27):
my words or actions.
When I feel that anger bubblingto the surface which is very
rare that is my warning sign tocalm down, disengage, walk away.
Clear my mind.
So here's the next one.
I've seduced and manipulated inmy younger years, used my
sexuality, my voice and my bodyas a tool to feel powerful.
(22:51):
I even had the perfect outfitto make a man drool and want me.
Teal Swan does the same thing.
Some of us might be saying yougo, girl, but I hurt people who
didn't deserve it.
I was emotionally unavailableand into the hot and cold push
and pull passion mind games.
Then, when I wanted a genuineconnection, I of course picked
(23:15):
the wrong partners again andagain To those men.
I am sorry.
Thank you for being my teacher,but I've changed.
I stopped confusing passionwith pain.
In time, I stopped chasing theemotional highs and lows of
trauma bonding.
I chose connection, intimacyand genuine, unconditional love.
(23:36):
And I have it.
So thank you.
This should explain why thewounded shadow self seeks to
control and manipulate.
Therefore, it wants to feelempowered rather than weak and
helpless, as we did when we wereinnocent, fragile and
frightened.
So we learned to manipulateothers with our bodies, words
(23:59):
and seductive charms to seeksexual gratification, not
connection.
We confuse sex with love, butit's a false sense of love
masked behind insecurities,shame, abandonment, rejection
and inner child wounds.
And when I recognized theseshadow parts within me that were
causing more harm to others, Ihad to go within and dive deep
(24:19):
into my pain stories.
In some ways, I had to face mydemons, and everyone has a dark
side within them.
What matters most is who isrunning your life the wounded,
fragment, shadow parts or theintegrated, whole, wise spirit
within us all?
My transformation did nothappen overnight.
(24:39):
It took years ofself-reflection, understanding
and integration.
I became a trusted, safe spacefor my clients.
People feel it and see it.
You can hear the compassion inmy voice.
I don't manipulate anyone.
I magnetize.
Integrating is the hardestthing we'll ever do, but it's
(25:01):
also the most liberating.
So let's talk about the angelarchetype versus the shadow,
dark angel Teal, and I sharethis angel archetype, and some
call it the Fairy Godmother.
I know that I'm a messenger oflight and love and I wrote about
it in the first book that Ichanneled in 2012, affirming and
(25:21):
Focusing on Living a BetterLife.
When I received a message forthe world.
I know that I'm here in a timeof great need to deliver a
message of guidance andinstruction from our Creator for
humanity.
First, let me clarify this I'mnot an actual angel.
Still, I do have a strongconnection with the angelic
realm.
(25:42):
I have been called many thingsby my clients, such as a saint,
an angel, heaven sent a blessing.
God speaks to you and told theworld needs more people like me
in it.
I'm a channel for the angelicrealm.
There is great joy when I useit, whether I'm working with
clients or creating this content.
Many people have told me thatI'm a safe space because I have
(26:03):
loving and nurturing qualitiesthat I have embodied.
When it comes to the role ofthe fairy godmother, I enjoy
helping someone in need, whetherit's a random stranger or
someone I'm called to serve,with no expectations of anything
in return.
I say I am here to serve and Iget angelic messages all the
time.
Remember my friend who waswriting her second book on
(26:26):
forgiveness.
That angelic hit was for herand she listened, and I'm her
cheerleader and want her tothrive.
Angels of light do notwaterboard wounded people
seeking light.
They nurture.
They do not laugh at your painand smile when you are shattered
into pieces.
Light angels are here to heal,not harm.
(26:47):
Uplift and not destroy.
Yes, we can feel your pain andsuffering, but we alchemize that
pain and suffering into wisdom,compassion, forgiveness and
unconditional love.
We do it by pulling you out ofthe dark 3D framework and
lifting you into the light 4Dand 5D framework.
(27:09):
Now the shadow side of thisarchetype occurs when
individuals claim to be in touchwith angelic guidance and our
empaths, yet they use theirabilities not to heal but to
harm, for the sake of controland ego enhancement.
They have not entirely healedfrom their childhood traumas or
(27:32):
integrated their shadow, becausetheir dark actions contradict
their words.
The dark angel can be fierce,brutal and cold in their actions
.
Whatever the actions they aretasked with, they perform it
with destructive tendencies,such as waterboarding, and their
methods never cease to amazeother angels like me.
(27:53):
The dark angel will drag youdeeper into the 3D thought
patterns surrounding family,feeding your mind with hatred,
separation, a victim mentalityand self-righteous pride.
And never would I, as a lightangel, suggest that you imagine
committing suicide.
Yes, she did create a videothat was removed from YouTube.
(28:15):
Can you see the polar opposite?
As for the fairy godmotheraspect.
When weaponized, this darkarchetype will be a scorekeeper.
Nothing is for free andeverything comes with a steep
price.
There is a you owe me attitude,and that is when recruitment
comes into play.
Yes, recruitment, becausereligion and spiritual cults are
(28:40):
a business.
To stay in business, they needmore followers.
Now they know your dirtysecrets and sins, which can be
weaponized against you.
Therefore, these spiritual,narcissistic individuals will
use games from the 3D frameworklike intimidation, belittling,
devaluing, gaslighting andguilt-tripping.
(29:01):
Soon you might find yourselffilled with regret, shame and
fear of exposure to the peopleyou care about.
Remember the pattern love, bomb, devalue, discard.
And one last thing Teal and Ihave in common is that we both
were led down the path ofpsychedelics for spiritual
enhancement and growth.
(29:22):
I like mushrooms and she likespoisonous toads Hiding behind a
mask.
Everything you are, includingyour shadow, is sacred.
Teal's video inspired me.
If I had not integrated myshadow and all the various parts
, I would have taken itpersonally and felt targeted or
(29:43):
insulted my instructor.
Instead, what I saw and heardin Teal was her confidence as
she spoke.
It was real and her insightswere powerful.
But I also saw repressed angerand sexual wounds that she
hadn't healed.
The pain is still hiding behindthe mask and I wondered, just
(30:07):
wondered, if that it was hersoul and spirit, crying out for
a response or answer to whypeople hate her.
I don't walk her path, but Isee her.
I am shining my light withinand I see her, I get her, hello,
dear one, and yes, I respectthe polarity she represents.
(30:30):
So if Teal ever hears this, Isee you and I hear you, dear one
, I made this for you.
The universe aligned us in thismoment, not through conflict
but through contrast.
May these words support thecollective, not through pain but
through light, not through fearbut through radical, honest,
(30:52):
embodied love.
Thank you, teal, for being mymirror, with reverence, Angela
Meyer, keri Logan.
Now let's move on Integratingthe Parts we Hide.
How do we heal?
So some of you might bewondering what is shadow work?
Shadow work generally involvesthree initial steps.
(31:13):
In the beginning, you recognizeit, understand why it exists
within us and being open andwilling to heal, integrate and
master the shadow self.
The shadow self is thoseaspects of ourselves we
repressed or denied.
It is challenging and sometimesa painful process of
self-discovery that can lead togreater self-awareness, healing
(31:35):
and personal growth.
The core component of shadowwork compromises these three
steps and yes, there is a fourthstep, and I like to call it
continued education, because itnever ends.
So let's break down these steps.
Step one recognizing,identifying.
First, we must recognize thetriggers within us.
When we do not recognize orrealize it, we're on autopilot.
(31:59):
The subconscious mind runs theshow and our shadow self acts as
it pleases.
We become reactive instead ofcalmly observing and responding
to situations.
That is why we must be open toidentifying situations, people
or emotions that cause strongnegative reactions or emotional
responses which are oftentrapped within the 3D human
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consciousness levels rangingfrom 175 to 20.
The triggers that bring outhate, resentment, the desire to
guilt, trip others, the feelingsof needing to perform, to seek
approval, playing the blame gameand not taking responsibility
for our actions.
Then there can be racism,jealousy, envy, lust, greed,
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revenge, rage, bullying and thepleasure of watching or hurting
other people.
This includes all the deadlysins that people preach to
create fear within us or warn usthat we're going to hell.
Once you can identify yourshadow self parts, you want to
dive a little deeper.
This means recognizing thespecific negative emotions or
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judgments towards self or othersthat trigger a response from
within.
These can also be behaviorslike deflection, denial or
taking something personally.
There is also projection, whichcan be hard to spot because we
are so emotionally triggered.
Therefore, becoming aware ofhow we might project our
(33:32):
unwanted traits or emotions ontoothers is a crucial
self-awareness tool.
Step two exploring andunderstanding.
This is what I do best.
Forget those coffeeconversations.
I will have you in the deep endof the ocean within 10 minutes.
Sounds exciting, right?
Why it's so freeing to be ableto talk to someone who makes you
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feel safe.
You feel truly heard, seen,understood and without judgment,
shame or blame.
You talk and I listen.
We dive so deep that we come tothe conclusion it is what it is
Just information from past painstories and shadow aspects of
the wounded self.
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You've got to get real andyou've got to dive deep with
love, compassion, acceptance,enlightenment and reverence.
You can explore the roots ofyour shadow self by engaging in
deep self-reflection throughjournaling, talking to a
therapist or practicing othermethods.
This takes patience, compassionand grace.
(34:37):
I spoke about the why factorand finding forgiveness for the
unforgivable.
To heal, I needed to know why,why I was being triggered or
reactive.
Exploring the reasons behindthe reactions, judgment and
behavior, including theirorigins in past experiences is
key.
(34:57):
Without the why factor, one isstill lost in the shadows.
Step 3.
Integrating the parts we hideand healing.
When we first recognize thatshadow self is running our lives
and the lives of others, it cancreate a great deal of guilt,
shame, humiliation, triggerfalse beliefs about ourself and
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can be scary.
That is why havingself-compassion is key.
Nobody's perfect and everyonehas a shadow self with various
shadow aspects.
Some are darker than others too.
Just know this truth.
You are not alone or the onlyone.
Practicing self-compassion andself-acceptance for your shadow
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self is essential.
I never said this work was easy,so be kind and gentle with
yourself.
I recognize that these partsare natural parts of being human
, don't you?
I mean, we all get angry andthat is why I say all the tools
we need for self-healing,transformation, integration and
soul liberation exist within 4Dhuman consciousness.
(36:02):
This is when I do inner childwork and parts therapy In a
gentle and motherly approach.
I bring your shadow aspect intoyour conscious awareness
through meditation or hypnosis.
My approach is differentbecause I include the I and we
you and I and aspects of them aspart of your whole self, rather
(36:24):
than rejecting them.
I have a conversation with thatfragmented, wounded part and
the parts hiding behind in thedark.
It's powerful work.
I like to weave in all the 5Dhuman consciousness, emotions,
behaviors and traits such as joy, happiness, being easy to let
the little things go, beingunattached to outcomes, peace of
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mind and healthy innerconfidence.
Why Some parts can be on thefence and do not believe that
you are ready for change.
So when we show them, throughour imagination, how this new
life can be and well be them,through our imagination, how
this new life can be and well bethese unintegrated parts, can
have a clearer picture of thisnew reality, of wholeness
instead of separation.
(37:07):
Step four continued growth,continued practice.
We did enroll in a school oflife.
That is why we're here to learnlessons.
Regular self-reflection is keywhy Life does throw us
curveballs.
One moment we're standing ontop of a mountain, feel great,
and the following week we're inthe deep end of the valley.
(37:29):
You know my truth, my painstory.
We can stay in the valley andsettle or climb another mountain
.
It sucks to accept this truthof being human.
There is that saying life isfull of ups and downs, healthy
tools, mastering your shadowself aspect.
I realize that when I do nothave healthy alternatives or
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tools available, our shadow selfwill leak out and cause hell.
We need to create a list ofalternative options to avoid
life's pitfalls.
So here are some ideas.
When it comes to anger, thistrapped energy needs to be
released through movement andaction.
That is why I suggest exercise,screaming, hiking, dancing to
(38:13):
loud music and even sex.
Think of it as hot energy thatwants to explode.
I know playing video games is agood release, but it still
doesn't compare to the releasethat comes from movement and
action.
Then there are the cold and blueemotions, like depression,
anxiety and stress.
These emotional states need theexact polar opposite.
(38:36):
A person's body and nervoussystem seeks comfort, solitude
and relaxation.
Some people meditate, read abook, soak in a bath, get a
massage or drink a glass of wine.
We must honor the signals andmessages our bodies send us, as
they are trying to communicatewhat they need from us.
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After all, it's your oldestfriend.
Okay, before I close, I want tothrow out these ideas and
concepts.
What if the person you judge isactually your most excellent
teacher, even if that person isTeal Swan?
I say this because some mightthink or believe I'm putting a
target on my back, but I'm not.
(39:18):
This isn't a cancellation.
It's a conversation, a messagecoming from love to the mirror
that cracked me open andinspired this information.
This is how I faced my shadowand chose the light over the
dark ways of spiritual evolution.
Yes, we share the same wounds.
However, I decided on a softer,divinely guided approach to
(39:42):
heal my clients and facilitatinga spiritual awakening.
Both work, but they are twodifferent tools and mentalities.
This content is my response fromthe heart.
If you made it this far, thankyou.
You've just walked through theshadows with me, through truth,
through a mirror that many fearto face, but you didn't turn
(40:04):
away, and maybe that's how weheal the collective Not by
judging the darkness, but bydaring to meet it within
ourselves and each other.
If this episode stirs somethingin you, sit with it, breathe
with it, let it speak, and ifyou feel called to share this
(40:25):
with someone stuck in theshadows, trust that nudge that's
your higher self whispering.
This medicine is meant to move.
Since this is deep work and Ihave constructed a standalone
guided meditation titled theCracked Mirror A Journey to
Wholeness, the focus will be onshadow integration and 5D
(40:46):
embodiment, supporting you andwalking through life with
clarity, compassion andself-empowerment.
Until next time, walk gently,love boldly and remember you are
not too much.
You are a mirror too.
And love and light.
Angela Meyer and Keri Logan Bye.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Undetected Narcissist.
Yes, I cut the intro becausethis one is a little bit long
and I respect your time.
The Mirror and the MedicineHealing Through Shadow
Integration.
I have a warning this episodemight feel like a shot, but it's
the kind that immunizes youfrom spiritual ego.
(00:22):
What you're about to hear isthe transmission of raw truth,
radical self-honesty andreverence for the shadow, for
the mirror and the mystery ofour evolution.
This is not about cancelinganyone.
This is about reclaimingeverything the pain, the
projections, everything, thepain, the projections, the power
(00:48):
.
It's about how we face thedarkness within ourselves not to
fight it, but to hold it,integrate it, alchemize it.
In this episode I will share mypersonal journey of shadow
integration, spiritual traumaand what I saw reflected in Teal
Swan, a mirror that crackedsomething open in me and gave
birth to this message how Ichose the path of integration
(01:08):
over inflation and a pathtowards higher consciousness,
not spiritual narcissism.
In a previous episode, the PainStory or the Soul Lesson, I
unpacked how one woman'snarcissistic, vulnerable mother
was her mirror and teacher.
They were opposites and bothserved a purpose, even when the
(01:30):
human experience can't standtheir mirror.
But the soul understands whySome might grasp these concepts
and others might not, and that'sokay.
But if you get triggered,something inside of you is
trying to get your attention.
It is like a cry for help todive deep into self-reflection.
From there you explore yourpain story by recognizing the
(01:54):
triggers, being open to healingand integrating.
So I recommend listening to thepain story or soul lesson first
, if you haven't already.
Story or soul lesson first ifyou haven't already.
As odd as it may sound, I'mexcited to dive into the world
of spiritual narcissism andshadow integration.
Today We'll explore thedifference between feeding the
(02:14):
ego and mastering the darknessof true enlightenment.
I will do my best to highlightthe differences between feeding
the ego and mastering yourshadow self.
So let me begin by sharingsomething you may not know.
I'm studying to become apsilocybin facilitator.
Why?
Because I'm absolutelyfascinated by the
(02:37):
neuroplasticity of the brain andhow psychedelics, like magic
mushrooms, can bypass the egoand create harmony between parts
of the brain that don'ttypically communicate.
Pretty cool, right.
What's even more amazing isthat the sacred medicines are
being used to support peoplehealing from deep depression,
(02:57):
ptsd, addiction, even braininjuries and, yes, even
narcissism.
And yes, I've taken mushrooms.
My first trip was one of mylife's most profound spiritual
experiences, beautifullyorchestrated by the universe,
with synchronous knees, I couldnot ignore.
If you want to feel one withthe creator and vibrate with
(03:19):
unconditional love, thismedicine has the potential to
open that door.
During that trip, somethingsurfaced I encountered one of my
invisible walls, a block aroundintimacy and marriage.
It was a gift, the kind of giftonly truth can bring.
Now, as part of my training, wemust learn about shadow work,
(03:41):
which is my specialty.
Almost every client I work witheventually needs a parts
integration or some inner childhealing.
My instructor recommended one ofthe videos to a student which
he labeled the mirror on what wehate.
But the real title is whypeople hate Teal Swan.
Yes, that Teal Swan, and yes, Ilaughed, not out of judgment,
(04:06):
but because the irony was divine.
I must share that.
I was not aware.
My instructor was a fan of TealSwan and he admired certain
aspects of her work, and that isokay.
All of this content comes from aplace of awareness, not
judgment.
Let me explain the differenceso that you can grasp the
(04:26):
concept.
Awareness comes from a neutral,compassionate and understanding
lens of perspective, comingfrom a 5D mindset.
It is just information.
I have zero attachment to theinformation I've gathered.
I see it, I get it Now.
If judgment is a 3D trait and amindset that leads to
(04:47):
perceiving and assuming theperson is flawed, if I want to
feed my ego, this person isbelow me, I could feel a sense
of entitlement and otherinsulting, rigid viewpoints.
I do not operate that way.
Nobody can heal from thoselower destructive thought
patterns.
So let's move on.
(05:08):
When I told him that Teal Swanhas spiritual narcissism, he was
shocked.
He did not want to listen andbelieved I hated her, but I do
not.
I suggested he watch thedocumentary the Deep End to
broaden his perspective.
Well, he didn't, because we hada week before the next class
and he masked the title of thevideo why People Hate Teal Swan,
(05:30):
rather than dropping down andtaking it personally in 3D
frequencies of how dare youregret for speaking my truth,
feeling like a classroomembarrassment, or getting angry,
or even feeling insulted, orgetting angry or even feeling
insulted, I laughed.
I stayed centered in the 5Drealm of love, joy and gratitude
.
I knew this was going to bejuicy.
(05:50):
Here is something you, dearlisteners, do not know Teal is
my mirror.
We share similar shadow traitsand one archetype.
We are the polar opposite ofspiritual enlightenment and the
approaches we follow, and that'sexactly what makes this
conversation so powerful.
It was divinely timed for thisspecific topic I intended to
(06:13):
cover in season four.
Are you shocked?
Just wait and listen, please.
I will unfold and unpack thisperfectly so that everyone can
comprehend and grasp how I amher mirror.
So have you ever heard of theterm NARPATH?
It's a combination ofnarcissist and an empath.
Sounds contradictory, but it'svery real.
(06:35):
But that sensitivity, whenwounded and unhealed, can be
weaponized.
That's when the shadow comes toplay.
When someone you love or trustshows their shadow side, it can
be shocking, sometimes violentand often heartbreaking.
Now another perfect example isthe seven deadly sins.
All those sins are shadowaspects that everyone has within
(06:58):
them.
You heard me everyone.
What matters is whether wemaster the shadow self aspect or
allow them to consume our souls, causing more harm to others
and ourselves for the next sevengenerations.
I say no.
The truth is, if we do notmaster, heal and integrate our
shadow self aspect, those deadlysins and tendencies are stored
(07:21):
in our DNA for other generationsto resolve.
It's not fair, but it's true.
All these countless years ofsuffering could have been
avoided if we had thisinformation.
Now, this just popped in myawareness and I'm not religious,
but this does make sensebecause I heard the sins of our
fathers and was guided to lookit up.
Here's what I found.
(07:42):
The concept of the sins of thefather is referred to several
Bible verses.
While some verses suggest Godpunishes children for their
parents' sin, others clarifythat individuals are ultimately
held accountable for their ownactions.
Therefore, what I just sharedis spot on.
It is not our creator punishingus, but we punishing ourselves
(08:04):
and our offspring within thecoding of our DNA.
But I know how to clear it andI have.
So there's some good news,right.
Hollywood and anti-heroes.
Hollywood glamorizes the darkhero archetype as seen in John
Wick, dexter, peaky Blinders andany Marvel series.
We eat it up, but we alsointernalize it.
(08:28):
We get numb to the violence,gore and pure revenge.
The sad realization is that theentertainment industry has
become incredibly darker.
From the movies I saw in the1970s and early 2000s, more gore
, violence, rape, hatred, nudity, explicit sex, crime and
revenge.
Why Shock value?
(08:50):
And we pay for it.
We love it, we want more of it.
Stand in line for it and wecan't believe our eyes.
Give me more we say, but I donot, and here is why it's
conditioning and grooming youngminds.
You see my choice of words.
It influences more of theshadow self aspects within us
(09:10):
all by removing the filter ofmorals, values and ethics, and
by removing the filter andmaking it more acceptable.
That explains why we arewitnessing more violence within
our schools and communities.
Online trolls, catfishing,clickbait and scammers, hunger
for fame and social media likes.
(09:31):
Mental health crisis, like theanxious generation, sex
trafficking, addictive behaviorslike social media, drugs and
porn, a revenge mindset likerandom shootings, take what's
mine or steal withoutconsequences, marry for money,
not love, and such other toxic,dysfunctional, mindless
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programming and conditioning.
In our world today, we arecapable of so much more than
these barbaric, egotistical waysof thinking, acting and
behaving.
It's 2025.
On the flip side, it allowsactors a healthy release by
(10:14):
playing a villain.
It is pretend, but have theyhealed and integrated their
shadow self aspect?
That's the real question.
So, in a way, unintentionallyand unconsciously, we are
planting the seeds ofdestruction of life instead of
promoting life.
We should be creatingentertainment that expires,
uplifts us, encourages equality,connection and cooperation
(10:34):
rather than separation andfurther dark destruction.
I was watching the series 1923,and I saw many people in the
show who did not integrate andheal their shadow aspects, but
weaponize them, even the priestsand nuns.
And the one that stood out themost was the filthy rich man
that said I will take what'smine or steal your land and make
(10:56):
it my own attitude.
And as one man said on the show, he is dark, darker than dark,
pure evil.
So if Hollywood is listening, Iwant something inspiring that
fills me with hope in a worldcurrently filled with real life
violence, wars, anger, revenge,inflated egos, liars,
backstabbers and pretendhappiness.
(11:18):
I believe the collective of 4Dand 5D people want the same
thing, as evidenced by my ownexperience of stopping going to
the movies, understandingSpiritual Narcissism.
Spiritual narcissism at its coreis a choice to use your shadow
instead of healing it.
(11:38):
You can become an influencerwithout ever integrating the
parts of yourself that arewounded, manipulative and crave
attention and fame.
They have this.
I will transform your lifethrough punishment and
submission, or God told me topunish you for your sins, so
backwards.
But people pay good money forthis form of punishment,
(12:01):
humiliation and cruelty.
Seeking spiritual enlightenment,therefore, the individual
recognizes their shadow selfside and, through spiritual
practices of self-enhancement,can fool some of us into
thinking we're evolving andgrowing, when all we're growing
is our own dark, shadow ego.
(12:21):
Light versus dark.
They are teaching what theyknow as spiritual enlightenment
by causing pain and suffering toothers rather than causing no
harm to them.
It's all rooted in unintegratedfear, anger that has turned
into deep-seated resentment andunresolved childhood traumas yes
(12:43):
, trauma.
Therefore, some will initiallyappear caring and thoughtful,
luring you into their web toextract your money.
It's love-bombing baby in thename of spirituality.
Yes, these individuals can beintimidating, cutthroat and
ruthless when their methods ofspiritual transformation are
challenged or questioned.
(13:04):
I mean, how dare you questionmy authority?
Little humor here.
Even when another triggers thesespiritual or religious figures
or leaders, all the dark, evil,ugly, traits and thought
patterns of human consciousnesscan come crawling to the surface
.
This can leave others feelingemotionally invalidated,
(13:25):
rejected, abandoned, betrayedand victimized.
These spiritual narcissistswill gaslight you so well that
your head might spin.
Then comes the threats thatyou're gonna go to hell or that
you will suffer and be punishedfor not believing in a specific
religion or living a truespiritual lifestyle.
Even Christians have a badreputation because if you're not
(13:47):
a Christian, then you're goingto hell.
This explains why many peopletoday are seeking more of a
spiritual approach than areligious lifestyle.
It does not excuse theirbehaviors and actions.
I want you to understand andrecognize the why and how it
happens.
The flip side of spiritualnarcissism can range from even
(14:07):
toxic positivity, such as therigid belief for saying good
vibes only.
Even toxic positivity can be aform of shadow, the good vibe
only crowd or religious threatsof damnation.
Therefore, when I watched theTeal Swan documentary back in
(14:28):
2022, the Deep End I saw it inaction the ego cloaked in
spiritual wisdom and practices.
The methods felt like sexualdominance, control and power
masquerading as healing.
I observed a blend of ego andempathic qualities, along with
claims to channel beings oflight and love.
(14:48):
But I also witnessed spiritualnarcissism in practice, with the
way people were treated and howshe claimed to passionately
hate the spiritual community.
That word hate says it all ifyou're genuinely listening.
Even Sadiqa Kove on the websiteMedium wrote a fantastic
(15:11):
article about the Deep Enddocumentary and said why Teal
Swan's cult of personality isdangerous to trauma survivors.
If you check out her article,you might get a clearer picture
of what I'm trying to relay.
If you have been a victim ofspiritual narcissism or question
if someone you might know mightbe a victim.
(15:31):
Therefore, I believe in freewill and the healing process,
which takes times.
I will not force another personinto submission by
waterboarding them in a swimmingpool and then whispering in
their ear when they're shatteredinto pieces I love you.
Yeah, that happened to thatstrong-willed woman and she had
a smile on her face.
(15:51):
The camera did not lie and Iknew that this is not the path I
walk.
As a spiritual advisor andhealer, even Sister Miriam
wanted me to stop her, but Idon't have a million followers.
I believe in boundaries, yes,but not in harm.
As a spiritual advisor andhealer, I believe in the power
of sacred space, the importanceof discernment and the value of
(16:15):
choosing compassion overmanipulation and control.
So I watched the recommendedvideo about why people hate Teal
Swan and was not offended ortriggered.
It was the exact opposite.
So when I was called upon inthe Zoom class to share my
thoughts and feelings about hervideo, I think I shocked my
instructor.
I told him that I loved it andthat it inspired this content.
(16:37):
In a way, I could tell he wasmystified and I was guided from
above to share more.
I spoke about her coming from aplace of understanding, wisdom,
compassion and unconditionallove.
I explained the why factor froma place of non-judgment.
That day I was the teacher, notthe student.
Now let's get personal.
Teal and I share a history ofvarious forms of child abuse and
(17:01):
trauma by a parental figure.
Both of us endured spiritualabuse.
It leaves a mark.
She was raised in a cult and astrict Christian who beat his.
You know wives and childrenraised me.
If you don't process that pain,it shows up as rage In the
episode of hot rage versus coldrage.
(17:21):
I talk about that.
The next one we share arecontrol and manipulation.
Then we share the angel slash,fairy, godmother archetype.
But there's an even darker sideto this archetype.
We are survivors, she and I.
To survive, we built big,invisible walls.
So let's talk about anger andrage.
(17:44):
Before I proceed, I want toapproach this subject matter
from a place of love and wisdomrather than fear.
Let me make this clear why.
I want you to understand themind and shadow self aspect of
the person you fell in love withand trusted, who was your best
friend, business partner,spiritual teacher or family
(18:04):
member.
Their extreme anger, brutalhonesty and cutthroat verbal
abuse were their shadow selvescoming out and exposing itself
before your eyes.
What was seen cannot be unseen.
They show their true colors.
When someone shows their shadowself, it can be rather shocking
(18:24):
and scary.
The words that cut you sodeeply that you are still
bleeding years later can hauntyou in your dreams, and
Hollywood loves it.
It explains why a nun or priestwho calls himself a disciple of
God can abuse a child.
The repressed anger, resentmentand rage come out and they
(18:45):
rationalize it, justify that itis the medicine you need, and
they hide behind the mask ofreligion.
This false assumption andrighteousness attitude permits
them to harm others because theybelieve it is God's will or God
told them to do it.
Let me make this clear whatspeaks to them is not our
(19:07):
creator, but their dark shadow,self-wounded ego and dark
angelic archetype.
Let's move on.
How did I heal my angry shadowself side?
Since my parents' number oneform of punishment was spanking,
not with hands, but hittingwith various wooden or metal
(19:29):
objects, and some broke duringthe beatings, I vowed myself to
not do this.
Being harshly spanked andbeaten only taught me that it
was a cruel form of punishmentfull of hot rage and anger.
Since I experienced extremechild abuse, I knew I needed
help.
I went to counseling at a youngage and started reading
(19:50):
spiritual and self-help books.
Into counseling at a young ageand started reading spiritual
and self-help books.
The first book I read aboutanger that spoke to me was the
Dance of Anger.
I highly recommend it.
When I knew I was going to be aparent, I took parenting classes
and read books about newapproaches in parenting.
Therefore, since I helped raisemy younger brother and healed
in my early teenage years, Ibecame the kiddo you could trust
(20:13):
with your infant and toddler,even children with special needs
and disabilities.
I was that safe space.
Having spent years caring forother people's children and
gaining valuable knowledge, Ifelt pretty confident in my
tools that I acquired.
However, our kids learned topush our buttons so well.
They strive to master the artof no boundaries until they
(20:36):
become a teenager.
They break the rules and someeven try to get their parents to
snap.
When I felt like I had no otheroptions available in my parental
toolbook, I tried spanking withmy hand.
I know I hate to admit it.
I've spanked my children threetimes, maybe four, and every
time it broke me I begged forforgiveness after the act.
(21:01):
I never spanked out of anger,but more frustration.
I felt the shame and guilt ofportraying my core values for
weeks, months and even years.
This is not who I am or who Iwant to be, but this is my
shadow self aspect coming out.
I vowed never to do it again,but I did Not to my children,
but a covert narcissist.
(21:21):
I've hit my son's father with alint roller brush once in a
moment of reactive abuse whiletrying to protect our baby from
his drunken violence.
Again, not proud, but it's mytruth.
Can anyone relate?
I know some people believespanking is acceptable and they
survived it, but every childresponds differently.
Now I must share this truth.
(21:43):
When I fell from grace, I had tolearn not to beat myself up
mentally and emotionally.
This is not an easy task, assome of you may know.
The things we can think and sayabout ourselves can be so
damaging and destructive.
So be kind.
Some people, when they fallfrom grace, will physically hurt
themselves or spiral down intoaddictive behaviors because of
(22:07):
the guilt and shame.
I had to remember that I amhuman and no human is perfect.
I had to take my advice, learnfrom the lesson, show myself
grace and forgiveness and findpositive solutions to avoid my
shadow aspect of anger fromhurting myself and another with
(22:27):
my words or actions.
When I feel that anger bubblingto the surface which is very
rare that is my warning sign tocalm down, disengage, walk away.
Clear my mind.
So here's the next one.
I've seduced and manipulated inmy younger years, used my
sexuality, my voice and my bodyas a tool to feel powerful.
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I even had the perfect outfitto make a man drool and want me.
Teal Swan does the same thing.
Some of us might be saying yougo, girl, but I hurt people who
didn't deserve it.
I was emotionally unavailableand into the hot and cold push
and pull passion mind games.
Then, when I wanted a genuineconnection, I of course picked
(23:15):
the wrong partners again andagain To those men.
I am sorry.
Thank you for being my teacher,but I've changed.
I stopped confusing passionwith pain.
In time, I stopped chasing theemotional highs and lows of
trauma bonding.
I chose connection, intimacyand genuine, unconditional love.
(23:36):
And I have it.
So thank you.
This should explain why thewounded shadow self seeks to
control and manipulate.
Therefore, it wants to feelempowered rather than weak and
helpless, as we did when we wereinnocent, fragile and
frightened.
So we learned to manipulateothers with our bodies, words
(23:59):
and seductive charms to seeksexual gratification, not
connection.
We confuse sex with love, butit's a false sense of love
masked behind insecurities,shame, abandonment, rejection
and inner child wounds.
And when I recognized theseshadow parts within me that were
causing more harm to others, Ihad to go within and dive deep
(24:19):
into my pain stories.
In some ways, I had to face mydemons, and everyone has a dark
side within them.
What matters most is who isrunning your life the wounded,
fragment, shadow parts or theintegrated, whole, wise spirit
within us all?
My transformation did nothappen overnight.
(24:39):
It took years ofself-reflection, understanding
and integration.
I became a trusted, safe spacefor my clients.
People feel it and see it.
You can hear the compassion inmy voice.
I don't manipulate anyone.
I magnetize.
Integrating is the hardestthing we'll ever do, but it's
(25:01):
also the most liberating.
So let's talk about the angelarchetype versus the shadow,
dark angel Teal, and I sharethis angel archetype, and some
call it the Fairy Godmother.
I know that I'm a messenger oflight and love and I wrote about
it in the first book that Ichanneled in 2012, affirming and
(25:21):
Focusing on Living a BetterLife.
When I received a message forthe world.
I know that I'm here in a timeof great need to deliver a
message of guidance andinstruction from our Creator for
humanity.
First, let me clarify this I'mnot an actual angel.
Still, I do have a strongconnection with the angelic
realm.
(25:42):
I have been called many thingsby my clients, such as a saint,
an angel, heaven sent a blessing.
God speaks to you and told theworld needs more people like me
in it.
I'm a channel for the angelicrealm.
There is great joy when I useit, whether I'm working with
clients or creating this content.
Many people have told me thatI'm a safe space because I have
(26:03):
loving and nurturing qualitiesthat I have embodied.
When it comes to the role ofthe fairy godmother, I enjoy
helping someone in need, whetherit's a random stranger or
someone I'm called to serve,with no expectations of anything
in return.
I say I am here to serve and Iget angelic messages all the
time.
Remember my friend who waswriting her second book on
(26:26):
forgiveness.
That angelic hit was for herand she listened, and I'm her
cheerleader and want her tothrive.
Angels of light do notwaterboard wounded people
seeking light.
They nurture.
They do not laugh at your painand smile when you are shattered
into pieces.
Light angels are here to heal,not harm.
(26:47):
Uplift and not destroy.
Yes, we can feel your pain andsuffering, but we alchemize that
pain and suffering into wisdom,compassion, forgiveness and
unconditional love.
We do it by pulling you out ofthe dark 3D framework and
lifting you into the light 4Dand 5D framework.
(27:09):
Now the shadow side of thisarchetype occurs when
individuals claim to be in touchwith angelic guidance and our
empaths, yet they use theirabilities not to heal but to
harm, for the sake of controland ego enhancement.
They have not entirely healedfrom their childhood traumas or
(27:32):
integrated their shadow, becausetheir dark actions contradict
their words.
The dark angel can be fierce,brutal and cold in their actions
.
Whatever the actions they aretasked with, they perform it
with destructive tendencies,such as waterboarding, and their
methods never cease to amazeother angels like me.
(27:53):
The dark angel will drag youdeeper into the 3D thought
patterns surrounding family,feeding your mind with hatred,
separation, a victim mentalityand self-righteous pride.
And never would I, as a lightangel, suggest that you imagine
committing suicide.
Yes, she did create a videothat was removed from YouTube.
(28:15):
Can you see the polar opposite?
As for the fairy godmotheraspect.
When weaponized, this darkarchetype will be a scorekeeper.
Nothing is for free andeverything comes with a steep
price.
There is a you owe me attitude,and that is when recruitment
comes into play.
Yes, recruitment, becausereligion and spiritual cults are
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a business.
To stay in business, they needmore followers.
Now they know your dirtysecrets and sins, which can be
weaponized against you.
Therefore, these spiritual,narcissistic individuals will
use games from the 3D frameworklike intimidation, belittling,
devaluing, gaslighting andguilt-tripping.
(29:01):
Soon you might find yourselffilled with regret, shame and
fear of exposure to the peopleyou care about.
Remember the pattern love, bomb, devalue, discard.
And one last thing Teal and Ihave in common is that we both
were led down the path ofpsychedelics for spiritual
enhancement and growth.
(29:22):
I like mushrooms and she likespoisonous toads Hiding behind a
mask.
Everything you are, includingyour shadow, is sacred.
Teal's video inspired me.
If I had not integrated myshadow and all the various parts
, I would have taken itpersonally and felt targeted or
(29:43):
insulted my instructor.
Instead, what I saw and heardin Teal was her confidence as
she spoke.
It was real and her insightswere powerful.
But I also saw repressed angerand sexual wounds that she
hadn't healed.
The pain is still hiding behindthe mask and I wondered, just
(30:07):
wondered, if that it was hersoul and spirit, crying out for
a response or answer to whypeople hate her.
I don't walk her path, but Isee her.
I am shining my light withinand I see her, I get her, hello,
dear one, and yes, I respectthe polarity she represents.
(30:30):
So if Teal ever hears this, Isee you and I hear you, dear one
, I made this for you.
The universe aligned us in thismoment, not through conflict
but through contrast.
May these words support thecollective, not through pain but
through light, not through fearbut through radical, honest,
(30:52):
embodied love.
Thank you, teal, for being mymirror, with reverence, Angela
Meyer, keri Logan.
Now let's move on Integratingthe Parts we Hide.
How do we heal?
So some of you might bewondering what is shadow work?
Shadow work generally involvesthree initial steps.
(31:13):
In the beginning, you recognizeit, understand why it exists
within us and being open andwilling to heal, integrate and
master the shadow self.
The shadow self is thoseaspects of ourselves we
repressed or denied.
It is challenging and sometimesa painful process of
self-discovery that can lead togreater self-awareness, healing
(31:35):
and personal growth.
The core component of shadowwork compromises these three
steps and yes, there is a fourthstep, and I like to call it
continued education, because itnever ends.
So let's break down these steps.
Step one recognizing,identifying.
First, we must recognize thetriggers within us.
When we do not recognize orrealize it, we're on autopilot.
(31:59):
The subconscious mind runs theshow and our shadow self acts as
it pleases.
We become reactive instead ofcalmly observing and responding
to situations.
That is why we must be open toidentifying situations, people
or emotions that cause strongnegative reactions or emotional
responses which are oftentrapped within the 3D human
(32:23):
consciousness levels rangingfrom 175 to 20.
The triggers that bring outhate, resentment, the desire to
guilt, trip others, the feelingsof needing to perform, to seek
approval, playing the blame gameand not taking responsibility
for our actions.
Then there can be racism,jealousy, envy, lust, greed,
(32:46):
revenge, rage, bullying and thepleasure of watching or hurting
other people.
This includes all the deadlysins that people preach to
create fear within us or warn usthat we're going to hell.
Once you can identify yourshadow self parts, you want to
dive a little deeper.
This means recognizing thespecific negative emotions or
(33:10):
judgments towards self or othersthat trigger a response from
within.
These can also be behaviorslike deflection, denial or
taking something personally.
There is also projection, whichcan be hard to spot because we
are so emotionally triggered.
Therefore, becoming aware ofhow we might project our
(33:32):
unwanted traits or emotions ontoothers is a crucial
self-awareness tool.
Step two exploring andunderstanding.
This is what I do best.
Forget those coffeeconversations.
I will have you in the deep endof the ocean within 10 minutes.
Sounds exciting, right?
Why it's so freeing to be ableto talk to someone who makes you
(33:55):
feel safe.
You feel truly heard, seen,understood and without judgment,
shame or blame.
You talk and I listen.
We dive so deep that we come tothe conclusion it is what it is
Just information from past painstories and shadow aspects of
the wounded self.
(34:16):
You've got to get real andyou've got to dive deep with
love, compassion, acceptance,enlightenment and reverence.
You can explore the roots ofyour shadow self by engaging in
deep self-reflection throughjournaling, talking to a
therapist or practicing othermethods.
This takes patience, compassionand grace.
(34:37):
I spoke about the why factorand finding forgiveness for the
unforgivable.
To heal, I needed to know why,why I was being triggered or
reactive.
Exploring the reasons behindthe reactions, judgment and
behavior, including theirorigins in past experiences is
key.
(34:57):
Without the why factor, one isstill lost in the shadows.
Step 3.
Integrating the parts we hideand healing.
When we first recognize thatshadow self is running our lives
and the lives of others, it cancreate a great deal of guilt,
shame, humiliation, triggerfalse beliefs about ourself and
(35:18):
can be scary.
That is why havingself-compassion is key.
Nobody's perfect and everyonehas a shadow self with various
shadow aspects.
Some are darker than others too.
Just know this truth.
You are not alone or the onlyone.
Practicing self-compassion andself-acceptance for your shadow
(35:39):
self is essential.
I never said this work was easy,so be kind and gentle with
yourself.
I recognize that these partsare natural parts of being human
, don't you?
I mean, we all get angry andthat is why I say all the tools
we need for self-healing,transformation, integration and
soul liberation exist within 4Dhuman consciousness.
(36:02):
This is when I do inner childwork and parts therapy In a
gentle and motherly approach.
I bring your shadow aspect intoyour conscious awareness
through meditation or hypnosis.
My approach is differentbecause I include the I and we
you and I and aspects of them aspart of your whole self, rather
(36:24):
than rejecting them.
I have a conversation with thatfragmented, wounded part and
the parts hiding behind in thedark.
It's powerful work.
I like to weave in all the 5Dhuman consciousness, emotions,
behaviors and traits such as joy, happiness, being easy to let
the little things go, beingunattached to outcomes, peace of
(36:45):
mind and healthy innerconfidence.
Why Some parts can be on thefence and do not believe that
you are ready for change.
So when we show them, throughour imagination, how this new
life can be and well be them,through our imagination, how
this new life can be and well bethese unintegrated parts, can
have a clearer picture of thisnew reality, of wholeness
instead of separation.
(37:07):
Step four continued growth,continued practice.
We did enroll in a school oflife.
That is why we're here to learnlessons.
Regular self-reflection is keywhy Life does throw us
curveballs.
One moment we're standing ontop of a mountain, feel great,
and the following week we're inthe deep end of the valley.
(37:29):
You know my truth, my painstory.
We can stay in the valley andsettle or climb another mountain
.
It sucks to accept this truthof being human.
There is that saying life isfull of ups and downs, healthy
tools, mastering your shadowself aspect.
I realize that when I do nothave healthy alternatives or
(37:50):
tools available, our shadow selfwill leak out and cause hell.
We need to create a list ofalternative options to avoid
life's pitfalls.
So here are some ideas.
When it comes to anger, thistrapped energy needs to be
released through movement andaction.
That is why I suggest exercise,screaming, hiking, dancing to
(38:13):
loud music and even sex.
Think of it as hot energy thatwants to explode.
I know playing video games is agood release, but it still
doesn't compare to the releasethat comes from movement and
action.
Then there are the cold and blueemotions, like depression,
anxiety and stress.
These emotional states need theexact polar opposite.
(38:36):
A person's body and nervoussystem seeks comfort, solitude
and relaxation.
Some people meditate, read abook, soak in a bath, get a
massage or drink a glass of wine.
We must honor the signals andmessages our bodies send us, as
they are trying to communicatewhat they need from us.
(38:57):
After all, it's your oldestfriend.
Okay, before I close, I want tothrow out these ideas and
concepts.
What if the person you judge isactually your most excellent
teacher, even if that person isTeal Swan?
I say this because some mightthink or believe I'm putting a
target on my back, but I'm not.
(39:18):
This isn't a cancellation.
It's a conversation, a messagecoming from love to the mirror
that cracked me open andinspired this information.
This is how I faced my shadowand chose the light over the
dark ways of spiritual evolution.
Yes, we share the same wounds.
However, I decided on a softer,divinely guided approach to
(39:42):
heal my clients and facilitatinga spiritual awakening.
Both work, but they are twodifferent tools and mentalities.
This content is my response fromthe heart.
If you made it this far, thankyou.
You've just walked through theshadows with me, through truth,
through a mirror that many fearto face, but you didn't turn
(40:04):
away, and maybe that's how weheal the collective Not by
judging the darkness, but bydaring to meet it within
ourselves and each other.
If this episode stirs somethingin you, sit with it, breathe
with it, let it speak, and ifyou feel called to share this
(40:25):
with someone stuck in theshadows, trust that nudge that's
your higher self whispering.
This medicine is meant to move.
Since this is deep work and Ihave constructed a standalone
guided meditation titled theCracked Mirror A Journey to
Wholeness, the focus will be onshadow integration and 5D
(40:46):
embodiment, supporting you andwalking through life with
clarity, compassion andself-empowerment.
Until next time, walk gently,love boldly and remember you are
not too much.
You are a mirror too.
And love and light.
Angela Meyer and Keri Logan Bye.
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