July 21, 2025 • 28 mins
The journey from wounded warrior to sovereign woman lies at the heart of this transformative episode that explores how many of us adopt a "bad bitch" persona as protection against a world that has shown its teeth.
Through the enchanting Tale of the Porcupine Queen, we discover how protective armor develops in response to pain – each quill representing a boundary erected to prevent further injury. While this armor serves a crucial purpose in our survival, it was never meant to be our forever skin. The episode compassionately unpacks why so many women rebuild after trauma using emotional detachment, ruthless independence, and aggression disguised as confidence rather than embracing their inherent strength and vulnerability.
What makes this exploration particularly powerful is the distinction between wounded power and healed power. Wounded power manifests as control-seeking behaviors, using sexuality for validation, dismissing softness as weakness, and proudly declaring total independence. In contrast, healed power stands in sovereignty, embodies sensuality as sacred, recognizes softness as strength, and chooses interdependence over isolation. This framework offers a roadmap for recognizing when behaviors stem from wounding rather than wholeness.
The practical tools shared provide concrete pathways for moving beyond armor into authenticity – from naming your inner protector to reclaiming the body through movement to seeking community rather than competition. These practices support a gradual transition from defensive posturing to genuine empowerment, addressing both mind and body in the healing process.
Remember – you don't need to kill the bad bitch. She was never your enemy but your bodyguard. Now she can rest as you reclaim your throne, embracing the truth that softness isn't weakness but a different kind of strength. Visit undetectednarcissist.com for the supporting blog post, visual resources, and a guided meditation for healing the warrior woman within.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelamyerun/
Website: https://www.undetectednarcissist.com
Blog posts: https://undetectednarcissist.com/blog/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist
Podcast.
Your host, angela Meyer, ishere to bring you clarity if you
are stuck in confusion,self-doubt or feel lost, without
a sense of direction.
This podcast is extremelydifferent because Angela comes
from a place of wisdom,compassion and has been able to
forgive the unforgivable.
(00:22):
She's a mental healthprofessional, trauma-informed
human consciousness guide andempowerment strategist.
She knows one can't truly healand recover when one is stuck in
hate, anger and fear.
One must rise above it, findmeaning, understanding,
compassion for oneself and thetoxic people within our lives.
(00:45):
This season is aboutself-empowerment,
self-realizations andtransformation.
There is always a blog postsupporting this information, so
please visitundetectednarcissistcom so get
ready to learn about yourself,others and find a way to truly
live and thrive.
(01:06):
Once again, enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Undetected Narcissist.
So today I want you all to sitback.
I'm going to be talking aboutthe woman who became a bad bitch
to survive.
We were told we had to be a badbitch to survive, to walk
(01:30):
through the fire with heels,hustle and a don't fuck with me
face To blur our softness sodeep that no one could ever use
it against us.
And so many of us did.
Because we had to, we put onthe armor and we sharpened the
edges.
Over time we learned how to winbattles, to feel safe in our
(01:54):
own skin.
But what if that version of you, the one who's always had to be
the strongest, loudest, themost untouchable in the room,
isn't the truth of you but asurvival spell?
Let me tell you a story, theTale of the Porcupine Queen.
(02:18):
Once upon a realm not so farfrom our own, there lived a
creature known across the landsas the Porcupine Queen.
She was fierce, stunning anduntouchable.
Her quills sparkled likeobsidian daggers.
Her gaze could silence a room.
She walked tall, neverflinching, never faltering.
(02:39):
No one dared cross her, andthat was the point.
She hadn't always been this way.
Long ago she was soft, curious,a luminous being.
She giggled with moonbeams andsang to dandelions.
But one day the world showedher its teeth.
(02:59):
The softness got her burned,her tenderness mocked, her truth
shattered.
So she built her armor oneneedle at a time.
Never again, she whispered asthe last quill settled into
place.
And for a while it worked.
(03:20):
The world backed off.
She became respected, desired,feared.
But late at night, in her quietden, the porcupine queen would
press her paw against her chest,trying to remember the feeling
of the heartbeat not guarded byspikes.
One day a butterfly arrived,fragile, glowing.
One day, a butterfly arrived,fragile, glowing, utterly
(03:45):
unbothered by the danger.
It landed on her nose.
She froze.
Why aren't you afraid of me?
She asked.
Because you're not dangerous,said the butterfly.
You're wounded and you'rebeautiful, but I miss her, the
you beneath all this.
The porcupine queen didn'tanswer.
(04:07):
But that night somethingcracked.
A single quill loosened andfell, and when it hit the ground
and didn't shatter, it grewinto a flower.
One by one, the quills began tofall, not because she was weak,
but because she remembered hertrue strength was never in her
(04:28):
armor but in her ability to riseagain and still choose to feel.
She didn't stop being powerful.
She became whole.
The world now saw not just thesurvivor but the sovereign.
Not just the survivor, but thesovereign.
Unpacking the armor fromprotector to sovereign.
The porcupine queen isn't bad,she's brilliant, she's a
(04:58):
survivalist.
She was born the moment theworld became too sharp, too
cruel, too unsafe for softness.
Her armor did what it wasdesigned to do protect the
tender, sacred self within, andfor that we thank her.
We bow to the version of youwho clawed your way through
heartbreak, betrayal,abandonment and injustice just
(05:21):
to stay standing.
But armor was never meant to beyour forever skin, the bad bitch
, the one who never cries, whoslaps back with venom, who needs
no one.
She's the guard dog, not thegoddess.
She's the fortress, not theflame.
(05:41):
She got you here, yes, but shecan't take you home, because
home is softness.
Home is power rooted inself-worth, not defense.
Home is sovereignty, theknowing that you don't need to
perform, prove or protect yourvalue anymore.
(06:05):
You, you are valuable.
The truth is, you were nevertoo sensitive, you were never
too much.
In fact, you were never weakfor wanting to be loved.
Those weren't flaws, those weresoul traits, and reclaiming
them, that's your return to thethrone.
(06:26):
So here's your invitation notto kill the bad bitch, but to
integrate her.
She is your aspects of yourshadow self, waiting to be
healed and integrated for thewholeness of your spirit and
soul.
For the wholeness of yourspirit and soul, we, you.
I am here to thank her, torelease her from constant duty
(06:50):
and to let your true self, theradiant, intuitive, powerful
heart of you lead, because thefeminine does not need to be
feared to be respected.
She just needs to be toremember who the hell she is.
Before we further dive into thistopic, I must speak this truth
(07:13):
If your armor is necessary tosurvive in an environment with a
high risk of domestic violenceand any form of abuse, then I
fully, 100%, support the armoryou must wear.
You are a warrior.
The good thing is that therewill come a time in age when the
warrior within no longer wantsto fight, live a fearful life
(07:38):
and desires a life of peace.
So this information is both forthe bad bitches, the ones that
are ready to change and the oneswho want to understand
themselves better.
I am here only to shed light onthis subject matter, which I am
being called to do for you,dear listeners and readers,
(08:00):
today.
So hear my words To the womanwho became a bad bitch to
survive.
I see you and I get you.
Today, we're going to talkabout you so that others can
understand you and you canbetter understand yourself.
Currently, being a bad bitch isbeing promoted and celebrated
(08:22):
all over the internet, on socialmedia and various musical
artists.
What concerns me is themisconceptions and
misunderstanding of why womenwho decided and make the choice
to become a bad bitch when thereis a better way of living and
existing, yet I get it.
(08:42):
If I came from a home where thewomen around you were all bad
bitches and daily you heard andsaw why these women needed to
live this way, it would becomecommonplace to follow in their
exact footprints and footsteps.
You might have tried to breakfree from your toxic home,
(09:03):
environment, community andfriends in order to find
yourself, but, like most people,you want to fit in and be
accepted.
So, instead of believing therewas a better way, you gave in as
the people around you draggedyou down into dark places.
Your sense of self may havebecome lost as you entered
(09:26):
puberty and transitioned into awoman.
People around you were crueland unkind.
Fear lingered around everycorner.
Doing your best to avoid theviolence, abuse and trauma hell.
Maybe everyone around you inone way or another experienced
trauma.
Growing up, because yourparents wanted to beat some
(09:48):
sense into that thick head ofyours.
You quickly learned that youneeded thick skin to live in
your environment.
I get it.
It is not just about appearingbadass or strong to gain
approval from others.
The misconception is that it isa wall and a mask that hides
(10:10):
your real, authentic self,trapped inside behind closed
doors.
The light within you is stillthere, patiently waiting for you
to remember who you are, whatyou are and why you are here.
It can be lonely and a sadplace to be at the end of the
(10:30):
day, pretending to be someoneyou are not.
It can be exhausting.
Will you ever have peace?
Can you ever embrace a peacefullifestyle?
Do you have the courage tobreak free and discover what is
your truth, not your parents'truth or society, your truth,
(10:52):
your meaning and your purpose inlife?
And yes, eventually pretendingday after day becomes the person
you are today A cold, distantand living a life with a false
sense of happiness because thepower and control you have
earned and acquired over time.
I'm not trying to be mean orcruel.
(11:14):
I'm simply stating a fact therewere many options and choices
available to me, and perhapsonly one or two for you.
I could have walked in yourshoes and allowed my heart's
desires to become just a dream.
I did have moments growing upin a home of domestic violence
(11:34):
and abuse.
It did not take me long tolearn how to pretend to be like
you when I felt threatened andneeded to survive.
Yet I had to be true to myself.
Who did I genuinely want to be?
How did I want to think andfeel day after day?
(11:56):
What was more important to myheart than my wounded ego?
How can I get to the placewhere I care less about what
people think about me and startcaring about myself?
People are a mirror reflectionof me.
It hit home for me when Irealized that I cannot truly
(12:18):
love myself unless I can trulylove others.
I was tired of the hate, so Ihad to remember that when I
hated someone, a part of memyself hated me as well.
I hated what I was doing tomyself.
There was so much unhappinessand sorrow buried deep behind my
(12:40):
walls of armor.
I disliked how I was notsetting healthy boundaries or
speaking my truth.
I hated that I chose to hidebehind a wall that I no longer
needed to exist.
Can you feel me?
Do you hear me?
Can you comprehend the battleand struggle from within?
Can you comprehend the battleand struggle from within?
(13:02):
I know you can.
We all can.
One part of you can strugglewith needing compassion,
kindness and comfort when theheart is fragile and suffering.
Then the other part of youfights off the truth that your
heart desires more and needsmore from you.
Your heart longs to be openagain one day, but this attitude
(13:28):
of being a bad bitch keeps yourheart locked away, unable to be
touched or felt by another.
Maybe growing up, being a badbitch was modeled to you by your
parents, siblings, relative,friends and people within your
environment.
It became second nature becauseall women had to do it to
survive.
That is generational traumaright there, passed down from
(13:51):
generation to generation.
Never discovering, becoming orembracing the light and love
within your heart, you who youtruly are, at the core of your
existence and why you're here onearth.
All of this is calling you now,so an open call to the hurting
(14:15):
and the healing.
This is my open call to thehurting and those seeking help,
to the ones who got out and theones still trying, to the women
who armored up to survive, tothe men who locked their hearts
away and to the children withinus all still wanting to be
chosen.
This is for you, not the maskyou wear, not the role you play,
(14:41):
nor the performance you'veperfected to keep the world from
seeing where it hurts.
This is for the part of youthat tried and is tired of
pretending, tired of proving, ofpushing through the pain and
calling it power.
You're not broken, you're notweak and you're not the persona
(15:04):
you created behind the mask.
In fact, you are becomingsomeone who is not genuine.
I get it.
You did what you had to surviveand there's no shame in that,
but survival is not your finalform Today.
This is your permission slip tolay down the armor, feel what
(15:27):
you were told to ignore, restwithout guilt, cry without
apology, heal without asking forpermission.
You don't have to be cold to bestrong.
This is a false belief.
You don't have to be silent tobe respected.
A strong, confident voice holdspower when we believe in
(15:50):
ourselves and we set healthyboundaries.
And you don't have to hide yourtruth or wear a mask of armor
to be loved.
There is meaning and purposebehind these words.
The path forward isn't found inperfection.
It's found in presence andreturning, piece by piece, to
(16:10):
who you were before the worldconvinced you to be someone else
.
This is an open call to rise,not as someone hard, but as
someone whole.
We are rewriting the story now,one heart at a time, and yours
is worthy of being heard.
Welcome home.
(16:30):
The open call to the hurtingand healing is now complete.
It's a heartfelt invitation forall who are navigating the
sacred path of becoming notharder but whole.
The sacred path of becoming notharder but whole.
After women have experiencedabuse from a man, they recover,
(16:51):
but become a bad bitch and areproud to be a bad bitch.
To me, it is wrong.
They just become mean, cold andshallow.
What I'm doing right now takesa lot of courage and shallow.
What I'm doing right now takesa lot of courage.
Some women will not appreciatemy boldness and want to cut me
down.
Yet I will speak my truthbecause I am brave and resilient
(17:11):
.
I am your friend, not yourenemy.
I was on the fence about thissubject, but too many women said
yes.
Therefore, I'm willing to namewhat so many feel, but don't
know how to say out loud.
I do that a lot, don't I?
This is sacred ground, becausebeneath that bad bitch persona
(17:35):
is often a wounded woman who istrying to never feel powerless
again.
So so enlighten, love.
Let's unpack this withcompassion, not criticism, so we
can help them remember thattrue power doesn't need to be
hardened, it needs to heal thebad bitch mask, why it rises
(17:58):
After abuse.
Many women rebuild, but insteadof soft power.
Many women rebuild, but insteadof soft power, they choose
armor, roofless independence,emotional detachment, aggression
dressed as confidence, controldisguised as empowerment.
Hypersexuality is used asvalidation rather than
(18:19):
expression.
Why?
Because being soft once gotthem hurt, so they swung to
their extreme.
If I can't be loved, I'll befeared.
It's a trauma response dressedin trend.
What's underneath the mask?
Here's what bad bitches'energies often hide A heart
(18:43):
still afraid to trust, griefthat never got expressed,
self-worth tied in appearance,status or dominance, fear of
vulnerability being mistaken forweakness, an inner child
screaming.
Never let that happen to usagain.
And, honestly, they did rise,but they rose into a fortress,
(19:08):
not a home.
So on the blog post, I have animage that split on two sides.
Okay, I'm going to read thisout loud.
So on one side of the chart isWounded power.
The bad bitch On the other sideis healed power, the sovereign
woman.
So let's go down.
(19:29):
I'm going to go side by side.
Bad bitch, healed woman,empowered woman.
Open the heart with discernment.
It's actually equal on bothsides.
A bad bitch and a healed womanneeds to open their heart with
discernment.
The wounded power is where youseek control.
(19:50):
The opposite is you stand insovereignty.
The next one uses sexuality forvalidation Instead embodies
sensuality as sacred, insteadembodies sensuality as sacred.
Next, dismisses softness asweakness.
The opposite sees softness as asuperpower.
(20:10):
Next one competes to proveworth versus collaborates from
knowing her worth and lastlysays I don't need anyone Versus
I choose inter-independence.
I decided to write a letter tothe bad bitch to maybe support
(20:32):
her in shifting her woundedperspective into finding the
courage to grow and change.
So here we go, to the women whobecame a bad bitch to survive.
I see you, you weren't alwaysthis way.
There was a time when yourlaughter was unguarded, when you
believed love meant safety andyou didn't have to armor up to
(20:54):
walk through the world.
But somewhere along the waysomeone hurt you.
Maybe they broke you andshattered the version of you who
still believed softness wassafe.
So you rose and you toldyourself I'll never again need
anyone, I'll never cry over aman again.
I'll become so strong that noone will ever wound me or touch
(21:18):
me again.
And you did.
You became the bad bitch.
There was no other choice.
You built your walls, yousharpened your tongue when you
walked into rooms like no onecould touch you and no one could
see you either.
But here's the truth.
That isn't your healing.
That was your shield, and maybeit served you for a time, but
(21:43):
now it's keeping you from whatyou deserve most not control,
dominance, superficial leveladmiration, but real, soul
rooted connection, the kind thatdoesn't require performance and
doesn't ask you to be cold, tobe respected, because deep down,
you don't want to fight, youwant to feel.
(22:05):
You don't want to win, you wantto be met.
You don't want to prove you'reenough, you want to remember
that you already are.
The world lied to you when itsaid you had to be hard to be
powerful, that your femininitywas weak, that if you cried you
crumbled.
But I'll tell you what's actualpowerful A woman who can stay
(22:31):
open without being taken, awoman who can be soft and still
sovereign.
A woman who can hold both herfire and her heart and not
apologize for any of them either.
So if you're tired ofperforming strength, come home,
let your armor fall.
Not everyone deserves yourtenderness, but you do.
(22:54):
You are allowed to be both thelioness and the lamb, the storm
and the stillness.
Not a bad bitch.
A healed woman, a whole woman,and that that's unstoppable From
someone who sees your truthbeneath the mask.
Someone who sees your truthbeneath the mask.
(23:16):
Tools, tips and embodimentpractices for moving from armor
to being your authentic self.
So here we go.
Here are the tools.
Here are some sacred practices,soul tools and inner shifts to
help you release the need toperform or protect and start
leading with embodied femininepower.
One name your protector.
(23:36):
Get honest.
What's the bad bitch?
Persona protecting you fromRejection, vulnerability, being
seen as weak, abandonment Couldbe betrayal.
There's a list.
Journal it out.
Trail.
(23:57):
There's a list.
Journal it out.
Name the wound.
Naming her gives you power,because behind every hardened
edge is a soft story thatdeserves compassion.
It's your pain story waitingfor you to heal it.
Embodiment practice Sit withyour inner protector, place your
hand on your heart and anotheron your belly, your solar plexus
.
Ask her what she's afraid willhappen if you let down her guard
(24:22):
.
Breathe with her, thank her,let her be heard.
She's trying to keep you safe.
Two to speak to yourself like asacred lover.
The bad bitch thrives onexternal validation, praise,
power, control, but the Queen isinternally resourced.
(24:45):
She knows who she is.
Embodiment practice, mirrorwork.
Look into your own eyes and sayI see you, I honor you.
I no longer need to be hard tobe worthy.
I can be soft and still be safe.
Do this daily until your innergirl starts to believe it again.
(25:08):
Number three let your body lead.
The bad bitch often lives inthe head strategy, defense,
dominance but the feminine livesin the body.
She flows, she feels and, mostimportantly, she trusts her
senses.
Embodiment practice, dance,sensual move, not choreography.
(25:31):
Just feel, let your hips speak,let your chest open, let
yourself be seen by you.
This is reclamation.
You're reclaiming yourself,you're coming back home.
This returns home to the bodyyou once felt you had to hide.
(25:52):
Four reclaim softness asstrength.
We were told soft equals weak,but softness is sacred.
It takes massive courage tostay open in a world that taught
you to shut down, and I got totell you I know a lot about that
Soul tool.
(26:12):
Try using gentleness andmovement you'd normally armor up
.
The next time you're tempted toclamp back or shut down, pause,
take a breath, ask yourself isthis really me speaking or my
fear?
Then choose a response thathonors your heart, not just your
(26:35):
defense.
Number five call in sisterhood,not competition.
The bad bitch was raised in thecage of comparison.
The sovereign woman rises incommunity Women healing together
creates quantum shifts.
Embodiment practice.
Create or join sacred space, acircle, a sisterhood, a
(27:01):
mentorship.
Share your truth, let yourselfbe held.
Healing happens in connection,not isolation.
And final reminder you don'thave to kill the bad bitch.
She was never your enemy, shewas your bodyguard.
But now she's tired, she'sready to lay down her sword and
(27:23):
let the real you, the loving,wise, divine feminine force,
come home to the throne.
You are allowed to be both softand powerful, wild and wise,
fierce and forgiving.
You are not too much, you areexactly enough.
(27:44):
So I have crafted a meditationfor you, badass bitches.
It blends guided visualization,nervous system relaxation and
soul remembrance.
I've made it poetic and healing, like a lullaby for the warrior
woman finally ready to rest.
So enjoy and love and light.
(28:06):
Angela Meyer, keri Logan Bye.
Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist
Podcast.
Your host, angela Meyer, ishere to bring you clarity if you
are stuck in confusion,self-doubt or feel lost, without
a sense of direction.
This podcast is extremelydifferent because Angela comes
from a place of wisdom,compassion and has been able to
forgive the unforgivable.
(00:22):
She's a mental healthprofessional, trauma-informed
human consciousness guide andempowerment strategist.
She knows one can't truly healand recover when one is stuck in
hate, anger and fear.
One must rise above it, findmeaning, understanding,
compassion for oneself and thetoxic people within our lives.
(00:45):
This season is aboutself-empowerment,
self-realizations andtransformation.
There is always a blog postsupporting this information, so
please visitundetectednarcissistcom so get
ready to learn about yourself,others and find a way to truly
live and thrive.
(01:06):
Once again, enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Undetected Narcissist.
So today I want you all to sitback.
I'm going to be talking aboutthe woman who became a bad bitch
to survive.
We were told we had to be a badbitch to survive, to walk
(01:30):
through the fire with heels,hustle and a don't fuck with me
face To blur our softness sodeep that no one could ever use
it against us.
And so many of us did.
Because we had to, we put onthe armor and we sharpened the
edges.
Over time we learned how to winbattles, to feel safe in our
(01:54):
own skin.
But what if that version of you, the one who's always had to be
the strongest, loudest, themost untouchable in the room,
isn't the truth of you but asurvival spell?
Let me tell you a story, theTale of the Porcupine Queen.
(02:18):
Once upon a realm not so farfrom our own, there lived a
creature known across the landsas the Porcupine Queen.
She was fierce, stunning anduntouchable.
Her quills sparkled likeobsidian daggers.
Her gaze could silence a room.
She walked tall, neverflinching, never faltering.
(02:39):
No one dared cross her, andthat was the point.
She hadn't always been this way.
Long ago she was soft, curious,a luminous being.
She giggled with moonbeams andsang to dandelions.
But one day the world showedher its teeth.
(02:59):
The softness got her burned,her tenderness mocked, her truth
shattered.
So she built her armor oneneedle at a time.
Never again, she whispered asthe last quill settled into
place.
And for a while it worked.
(03:20):
The world backed off.
She became respected, desired,feared.
But late at night, in her quietden, the porcupine queen would
press her paw against her chest,trying to remember the feeling
of the heartbeat not guarded byspikes.
One day a butterfly arrived,fragile, glowing.
One day, a butterfly arrived,fragile, glowing, utterly
(03:45):
unbothered by the danger.
It landed on her nose.
She froze.
Why aren't you afraid of me?
She asked.
Because you're not dangerous,said the butterfly.
You're wounded and you'rebeautiful, but I miss her, the
you beneath all this.
The porcupine queen didn'tanswer.
(04:07):
But that night somethingcracked.
A single quill loosened andfell, and when it hit the ground
and didn't shatter, it grewinto a flower.
One by one, the quills began tofall, not because she was weak,
but because she remembered hertrue strength was never in her
(04:28):
armor but in her ability to riseagain and still choose to feel.
She didn't stop being powerful.
She became whole.
The world now saw not just thesurvivor but the sovereign.
Not just the survivor, but thesovereign.
Unpacking the armor fromprotector to sovereign.
The porcupine queen isn't bad,she's brilliant, she's a
(04:58):
survivalist.
She was born the moment theworld became too sharp, too
cruel, too unsafe for softness.
Her armor did what it wasdesigned to do protect the
tender, sacred self within, andfor that we thank her.
We bow to the version of youwho clawed your way through
heartbreak, betrayal,abandonment and injustice just
(05:21):
to stay standing.
But armor was never meant to beyour forever skin, the bad bitch
, the one who never cries, whoslaps back with venom, who needs
no one.
She's the guard dog, not thegoddess.
She's the fortress, not theflame.
(05:41):
She got you here, yes, but shecan't take you home, because
home is softness.
Home is power rooted inself-worth, not defense.
Home is sovereignty, theknowing that you don't need to
perform, prove or protect yourvalue anymore.
(06:05):
You, you are valuable.
The truth is, you were nevertoo sensitive, you were never
too much.
In fact, you were never weakfor wanting to be loved.
Those weren't flaws, those weresoul traits, and reclaiming
them, that's your return to thethrone.
(06:26):
So here's your invitation notto kill the bad bitch, but to
integrate her.
She is your aspects of yourshadow self, waiting to be
healed and integrated for thewholeness of your spirit and
soul.
For the wholeness of yourspirit and soul, we, you.
I am here to thank her, torelease her from constant duty
(06:50):
and to let your true self, theradiant, intuitive, powerful
heart of you lead, because thefeminine does not need to be
feared to be respected.
She just needs to be toremember who the hell she is.
Before we further dive into thistopic, I must speak this truth
(07:13):
If your armor is necessary tosurvive in an environment with a
high risk of domestic violenceand any form of abuse, then I
fully, 100%, support the armoryou must wear.
You are a warrior.
The good thing is that therewill come a time in age when the
warrior within no longer wantsto fight, live a fearful life
(07:38):
and desires a life of peace.
So this information is both forthe bad bitches, the ones that
are ready to change and the oneswho want to understand
themselves better.
I am here only to shed light onthis subject matter, which I am
being called to do for you,dear listeners and readers,
(08:00):
today.
So hear my words To the womanwho became a bad bitch to
survive.
I see you and I get you.
Today, we're going to talkabout you so that others can
understand you and you canbetter understand yourself.
Currently, being a bad bitch isbeing promoted and celebrated
(08:22):
all over the internet, on socialmedia and various musical
artists.
What concerns me is themisconceptions and
misunderstanding of why womenwho decided and make the choice
to become a bad bitch when thereis a better way of living and
existing, yet I get it.
(08:42):
If I came from a home where thewomen around you were all bad
bitches and daily you heard andsaw why these women needed to
live this way, it would becomecommonplace to follow in their
exact footprints and footsteps.
You might have tried to breakfree from your toxic home,
(09:03):
environment, community andfriends in order to find
yourself, but, like most people,you want to fit in and be
accepted.
So, instead of believing therewas a better way, you gave in as
the people around you draggedyou down into dark places.
Your sense of self may havebecome lost as you entered
(09:26):
puberty and transitioned into awoman.
People around you were crueland unkind.
Fear lingered around everycorner.
Doing your best to avoid theviolence, abuse and trauma hell.
Maybe everyone around you inone way or another experienced
trauma.
Growing up, because yourparents wanted to beat some
(09:48):
sense into that thick head ofyours.
You quickly learned that youneeded thick skin to live in
your environment.
I get it.
It is not just about appearingbadass or strong to gain
approval from others.
The misconception is that it isa wall and a mask that hides
(10:10):
your real, authentic self,trapped inside behind closed
doors.
The light within you is stillthere, patiently waiting for you
to remember who you are, whatyou are and why you are here.
It can be lonely and a sadplace to be at the end of the
(10:30):
day, pretending to be someoneyou are not.
It can be exhausting.
Will you ever have peace?
Can you ever embrace a peacefullifestyle?
Do you have the courage tobreak free and discover what is
your truth, not your parents'truth or society, your truth,
(10:52):
your meaning and your purpose inlife?
And yes, eventually pretendingday after day becomes the person
you are today A cold, distantand living a life with a false
sense of happiness because thepower and control you have
earned and acquired over time.
I'm not trying to be mean orcruel.
(11:14):
I'm simply stating a fact therewere many options and choices
available to me, and perhapsonly one or two for you.
I could have walked in yourshoes and allowed my heart's
desires to become just a dream.
I did have moments growing upin a home of domestic violence
(11:34):
and abuse.
It did not take me long tolearn how to pretend to be like
you when I felt threatened andneeded to survive.
Yet I had to be true to myself.
Who did I genuinely want to be?
How did I want to think andfeel day after day?
(11:56):
What was more important to myheart than my wounded ego?
How can I get to the placewhere I care less about what
people think about me and startcaring about myself?
People are a mirror reflectionof me.
It hit home for me when Irealized that I cannot truly
(12:18):
love myself unless I can trulylove others.
I was tired of the hate, so Ihad to remember that when I
hated someone, a part of memyself hated me as well.
I hated what I was doing tomyself.
There was so much unhappinessand sorrow buried deep behind my
(12:40):
walls of armor.
I disliked how I was notsetting healthy boundaries or
speaking my truth.
I hated that I chose to hidebehind a wall that I no longer
needed to exist.
Can you feel me?
Do you hear me?
Can you comprehend the battleand struggle from within?
Can you comprehend the battleand struggle from within?
(13:02):
I know you can.
We all can.
One part of you can strugglewith needing compassion,
kindness and comfort when theheart is fragile and suffering.
Then the other part of youfights off the truth that your
heart desires more and needsmore from you.
Your heart longs to be openagain one day, but this attitude
(13:28):
of being a bad bitch keeps yourheart locked away, unable to be
touched or felt by another.
Maybe growing up, being a badbitch was modeled to you by your
parents, siblings, relative,friends and people within your
environment.
It became second nature becauseall women had to do it to
survive.
That is generational traumaright there, passed down from
(13:51):
generation to generation.
Never discovering, becoming orembracing the light and love
within your heart, you who youtruly are, at the core of your
existence and why you're here onearth.
All of this is calling you now,so an open call to the hurting
(14:15):
and the healing.
This is my open call to thehurting and those seeking help,
to the ones who got out and theones still trying, to the women
who armored up to survive, tothe men who locked their hearts
away and to the children withinus all still wanting to be
chosen.
This is for you, not the maskyou wear, not the role you play,
(14:41):
nor the performance you'veperfected to keep the world from
seeing where it hurts.
This is for the part of youthat tried and is tired of
pretending, tired of proving, ofpushing through the pain and
calling it power.
You're not broken, you're notweak and you're not the persona
(15:04):
you created behind the mask.
In fact, you are becomingsomeone who is not genuine.
I get it.
You did what you had to surviveand there's no shame in that,
but survival is not your finalform Today.
This is your permission slip tolay down the armor, feel what
(15:27):
you were told to ignore, restwithout guilt, cry without
apology, heal without asking forpermission.
You don't have to be cold to bestrong.
This is a false belief.
You don't have to be silent tobe respected.
A strong, confident voice holdspower when we believe in
(15:50):
ourselves and we set healthyboundaries.
And you don't have to hide yourtruth or wear a mask of armor
to be loved.
There is meaning and purposebehind these words.
The path forward isn't found inperfection.
It's found in presence andreturning, piece by piece, to
(16:10):
who you were before the worldconvinced you to be someone else
.
This is an open call to rise,not as someone hard, but as
someone whole.
We are rewriting the story now,one heart at a time, and yours
is worthy of being heard.
Welcome home.
(16:30):
The open call to the hurtingand healing is now complete.
It's a heartfelt invitation forall who are navigating the
sacred path of becoming notharder but whole.
The sacred path of becoming notharder but whole.
After women have experiencedabuse from a man, they recover,
(16:51):
but become a bad bitch and areproud to be a bad bitch.
To me, it is wrong.
They just become mean, cold andshallow.
What I'm doing right now takesa lot of courage and shallow.
What I'm doing right now takesa lot of courage.
Some women will not appreciatemy boldness and want to cut me
down.
Yet I will speak my truthbecause I am brave and resilient
(17:11):
.
I am your friend, not yourenemy.
I was on the fence about thissubject, but too many women said
yes.
Therefore, I'm willing to namewhat so many feel, but don't
know how to say out loud.
I do that a lot, don't I?
This is sacred ground, becausebeneath that bad bitch persona
(17:35):
is often a wounded woman who istrying to never feel powerless
again.
So so enlighten, love.
Let's unpack this withcompassion, not criticism, so we
can help them remember thattrue power doesn't need to be
hardened, it needs to heal thebad bitch mask, why it rises
(17:58):
After abuse.
Many women rebuild, but insteadof soft power.
Many women rebuild, but insteadof soft power, they choose
armor, roofless independence,emotional detachment, aggression
dressed as confidence, controldisguised as empowerment.
Hypersexuality is used asvalidation rather than
(18:19):
expression.
Why?
Because being soft once gotthem hurt, so they swung to
their extreme.
If I can't be loved, I'll befeared.
It's a trauma response dressedin trend.
What's underneath the mask?
Here's what bad bitches'energies often hide A heart
(18:43):
still afraid to trust, griefthat never got expressed,
self-worth tied in appearance,status or dominance, fear of
vulnerability being mistaken forweakness, an inner child
screaming.
Never let that happen to usagain.
And, honestly, they did rise,but they rose into a fortress,
(19:08):
not a home.
So on the blog post, I have animage that split on two sides.
Okay, I'm going to read thisout loud.
So on one side of the chart isWounded power.
The bad bitch On the other sideis healed power, the sovereign
woman.
So let's go down.
(19:29):
I'm going to go side by side.
Bad bitch, healed woman,empowered woman.
Open the heart with discernment.
It's actually equal on bothsides.
A bad bitch and a healed womanneeds to open their heart with
discernment.
The wounded power is where youseek control.
(19:50):
The opposite is you stand insovereignty.
The next one uses sexuality forvalidation Instead embodies
sensuality as sacred, insteadembodies sensuality as sacred.
Next, dismisses softness asweakness.
The opposite sees softness as asuperpower.
(20:10):
Next one competes to proveworth versus collaborates from
knowing her worth and lastlysays I don't need anyone Versus
I choose inter-independence.
I decided to write a letter tothe bad bitch to maybe support
(20:32):
her in shifting her woundedperspective into finding the
courage to grow and change.
So here we go, to the women whobecame a bad bitch to survive.
I see you, you weren't alwaysthis way.
There was a time when yourlaughter was unguarded, when you
believed love meant safety andyou didn't have to armor up to
(20:54):
walk through the world.
But somewhere along the waysomeone hurt you.
Maybe they broke you andshattered the version of you who
still believed softness wassafe.
So you rose and you toldyourself I'll never again need
anyone, I'll never cry over aman again.
I'll become so strong that noone will ever wound me or touch
(21:18):
me again.
And you did.
You became the bad bitch.
There was no other choice.
You built your walls, yousharpened your tongue when you
walked into rooms like no onecould touch you and no one could
see you either.
But here's the truth.
That isn't your healing.
That was your shield, and maybeit served you for a time, but
(21:43):
now it's keeping you from whatyou deserve most not control,
dominance, superficial leveladmiration, but real, soul
rooted connection, the kind thatdoesn't require performance and
doesn't ask you to be cold, tobe respected, because deep down,
you don't want to fight, youwant to feel.
(22:05):
You don't want to win, you wantto be met.
You don't want to prove you'reenough, you want to remember
that you already are.
The world lied to you when itsaid you had to be hard to be
powerful, that your femininitywas weak, that if you cried you
crumbled.
But I'll tell you what's actualpowerful A woman who can stay
(22:31):
open without being taken, awoman who can be soft and still
sovereign.
A woman who can hold both herfire and her heart and not
apologize for any of them either.
So if you're tired ofperforming strength, come home,
let your armor fall.
Not everyone deserves yourtenderness, but you do.
(22:54):
You are allowed to be both thelioness and the lamb, the storm
and the stillness.
Not a bad bitch.
A healed woman, a whole woman,and that that's unstoppable From
someone who sees your truthbeneath the mask.
Someone who sees your truthbeneath the mask.
(23:16):
Tools, tips and embodimentpractices for moving from armor
to being your authentic self.
So here we go.
Here are the tools.
Here are some sacred practices,soul tools and inner shifts to
help you release the need toperform or protect and start
leading with embodied femininepower.
One name your protector.
(23:36):
Get honest.
What's the bad bitch?
Persona protecting you fromRejection, vulnerability, being
seen as weak, abandonment Couldbe betrayal.
There's a list.
Journal it out.
Trail.
(23:57):
There's a list.
Journal it out.
Name the wound.
Naming her gives you power,because behind every hardened
edge is a soft story thatdeserves compassion.
It's your pain story waitingfor you to heal it.
Embodiment practice Sit withyour inner protector, place your
hand on your heart and anotheron your belly, your solar plexus
.
Ask her what she's afraid willhappen if you let down her guard
(24:22):
.
Breathe with her, thank her,let her be heard.
She's trying to keep you safe.
Two to speak to yourself like asacred lover.
The bad bitch thrives onexternal validation, praise,
power, control, but the Queen isinternally resourced.
(24:45):
She knows who she is.
Embodiment practice, mirrorwork.
Look into your own eyes and sayI see you, I honor you.
I no longer need to be hard tobe worthy.
I can be soft and still be safe.
Do this daily until your innergirl starts to believe it again.
(25:08):
Number three let your body lead.
The bad bitch often lives inthe head strategy, defense,
dominance but the feminine livesin the body.
She flows, she feels and, mostimportantly, she trusts her
senses.
Embodiment practice, dance,sensual move, not choreography.
(25:31):
Just feel, let your hips speak,let your chest open, let
yourself be seen by you.
This is reclamation.
You're reclaiming yourself,you're coming back home.
This returns home to the bodyyou once felt you had to hide.
(25:52):
Four reclaim softness asstrength.
We were told soft equals weak,but softness is sacred.
It takes massive courage tostay open in a world that taught
you to shut down, and I got totell you I know a lot about that
Soul tool.
(26:12):
Try using gentleness andmovement you'd normally armor up
.
The next time you're tempted toclamp back or shut down, pause,
take a breath, ask yourself isthis really me speaking or my
fear?
Then choose a response thathonors your heart, not just your
(26:35):
defense.
Number five call in sisterhood,not competition.
The bad bitch was raised in thecage of comparison.
The sovereign woman rises incommunity Women healing together
creates quantum shifts.
Embodiment practice.
Create or join sacred space, acircle, a sisterhood, a
(27:01):
mentorship.
Share your truth, let yourselfbe held.
Healing happens in connection,not isolation.
And final reminder you don'thave to kill the bad bitch.
She was never your enemy, shewas your bodyguard.
But now she's tired, she'sready to lay down her sword and
(27:23):
let the real you, the loving,wise, divine feminine force,
come home to the throne.
You are allowed to be both softand powerful, wild and wise,
fierce and forgiving.
You are not too much, you areexactly enough.
(27:44):
So I have crafted a meditationfor you, badass bitches.
It blends guided visualization,nervous system relaxation and
soul remembrance.
I've made it poetic and healing, like a lullaby for the warrior
woman finally ready to rest.
So enjoy and love and light.
(28:06):
Angela Meyer, keri Logan Bye.
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