September 1, 2025 • 38 mins
Love shouldn't hurt—yet for those caught in codependent relationships, pain often masquerades as devotion. This illuminating episode examines codependency through a compassionate lens, revealing how inconsistent early love creates dependency patterns that follow us into adulthood.
Through two powerful stories, we witness different paths to codependency. Meet Stan, a 70-year-old with terminal illness who discovered his wife of 48 years was a vulnerable narcissist, and Tammy, whose body created a mysterious throat condition to prevent her from continuing her pattern of rescuing "lost puppies." Their journeys demonstrate how our subconscious mind and nervous system get wired to confuse chaos with chemistry.
We dive deep into the energetic puzzle that draws wounded hearts together. Why do loving people attract unloving relationships? The answer lies in understanding that at a soul level, we attract not just what we want, but what we're ready to heal. Codependents carry the unconscious belief that love must be earned through sacrifice and saving others, while narcissistic partners believe love must be controlled to feel safe—creating a trauma bond where one overgives and the other overtakes.
The turning point comes when you stop rescuing and start respecting your own needs. We explore ten traits of codependency—from chronic people-pleasing to poor boundaries—and guide you through seven transformative stages of healing, each with powerful mantras to support your journey.
This isn't about demonizing narcissists or idealizing empaths—it's about honoring your deeply loving nature while learning that your worth isn't something to be earned. As you move from shadow love to sovereign life, remember: codependency wasn't your failure. It was simply your origin story. Now, you're the author creating a new narrative of self-worth and authentic connection.
Visit undetectednarcissist.com to access our soul retrieval meditation "Calling Yourself Home," designed to release toxic ties and reclaim your light.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelamyerun/
Website: https://www.undetectednarcissist.com
Blog posts: https://undetectednarcissist.com/blog/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist
Podcast.
Your host, angela Meyer, ishere to bring you clarity if you
are stuck in confusion,self-doubt or feel lost, without
a sense of direction.
This podcast is extremelydifferent because Angela comes
from a place of wisdom,compassion and has been able to
forgive the unforgivable.
(00:22):
She's a mental healthprofessional, trauma-informed
human consciousness guide andempowerment strategist.
She knows one can't truly healand recover when one is stuck in
hate, anger and fear.
One must rise above it, findmeaning, understanding,
compassion for oneself and thetoxic people within our lives.
(00:45):
This season is aboutself-empowerment,
self-realizations andtransformation.
There is always a blog postsupporting this information, so
please visitundetectednarcissistcom so get
ready to learn about yourself,others and find a way to truly
live and thrive.
(01:06):
Once again, enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Undetected Narcissist.
Today I'm going to be talkingabout inconsistent love turns
into codependency and I'm suremany of you have read articles
or listened to people discussthe topic of codependency.
But still, today I'm going toapproach this topic from a
(01:32):
compassionate lens and an openheart, to speak to those who are
still confused, questionthemselves, feel shame about the
thought of being codependentand want a different approach to
healing themselves.
Codependency at its core is apattern of behavior rooted in
survival, often formed inenvironments where love was
(01:55):
conditional, inconsistent orwithheld.
It's not a flaw of character,it's an adaptation, a way to
feel safe, needed and valued.
But when someone is still inthe dark, unaware of these
patterns, their actions mayreflect pain disguised as love,
(02:16):
and this is key to understandingPain disguised as love.
This invisible pain isunconscious and unintentionally
woven within us over time.
Therefore, this unresolved andunprocessed pain gets wired into
our subconscious mind andnervous system.
As energetic beings having ahuman experience.
(02:38):
The medicine we seek will feellike home.
We seek will feel like home andthe solution will come when we
realize that these wired-inpatterns is no longer making us
feel good inside, but flawed andbroken.
I know this sounds deep, but Iwill unpack all this logic as a
storyteller.
(02:59):
I will share two short storiesthat might resonate with some of
you.
The first one is about Stan.
Stan is in his 70s and hasmaybe a year or two to live
because he has a terminalillness.
He still loves his wife of 48years, but in the past two years
he realized that she is avulnerable narcissist.
(03:20):
Like most people, we get mad,the anger boils to the surface
and we can feel stupid becausewe were manipulated and
controlled by someone who lovedwho we loved and believed loved
us in the same way, but can't.
When we have this realization,we can start to question
ourselves, picking apart ourflaws and imperfections,
(03:44):
questioning what did I do wrong?
Why do they treat me so poorlywhen I treat them the exact
opposite?
Or I have only one or two yearsleft to live?
Why?
Why can't they have compassiontowards me instead of anger?
Because I have a terminalillness?
And when Stan went down thatrabbit hole he did, questioning
(04:08):
what he did wrong, when thetruth is he did nothing wrong
but loved someone who could notlove him back unconditionally.
Stan needed to realize that hejust loved a wounded person who
could not give him the love hedeserved in return.
You believe your love is enoughand you give, give, give and
(04:31):
they take, take, take, andthat's important to comprehend.
When he was on his deathbed inthe hospital and got the
unfortunate news that he wasdying, his loving wife did not
shift gears into let's makethese last years the best of
your life together, but yelledat him for inconveniencing her
(04:52):
and forcing her to drop what shewas doing and speak to the
doctors.
And yes, they did go tomarriage counseling before Stan
realized she was a narcissist.
Still, when the counselorrecognized who and what Stan's
wife was, she stormed out of thecounselor's office and refused
to attend marriage counselingagain.
(05:13):
No fault to the counselor, butcalling a narcissist or toxic
person out on their own crapnever ends well.
That was their mistake.
They did not approach it from acompassionate and open-hearted
lens.
Instead, it was a lens thatmade his wife feel deep shame,
(05:35):
and nobody wants to feel shame.
One day, when I was working withStan, he questioned whether he
was codependent.
At first I was a littleconfused because he did not meet
the profile of the five coresymptoms and signs of
codependent behaviors, such asdifficulty experiencing
(05:57):
appropriate levels ofself-esteem, difficulty setting
functional boundaries,difficulty owning one's own
reality and difficultyacknowledging and meeting our
own needs and wants and beinginterdependent with others.
So I read off the behaviors toStan.
Yes, I could see those traitswithin Stan, but he hit the
(06:21):
turning point of transformationwhich I will dive into later.
He was stuck in the mindsetloop where he felt flawed, not
good enough, and was stillquestioning what he did wrong.
When we are stuck in thisnegative mindset loop, it is a
form of self-punishment set loop.
(06:47):
It is a form of self-punishmentas if we become the
authoritarian parent towards ourinner wounded child who only
wants to be heard, seen,understood and loved.
Therefore, he could not see orcomprehend how much he had
changed and grown as a person.
He was stuck on the negativeaspect of self instead of
cheering himself on with all hisaccomplishments.
(07:10):
The medicine for Stan was topractice daily self awareness
and gratitude.
So I said to Stan Stan, you areno longer codependent.
You reach the turning point ofenough is enough.
This is good news.
You left your wife andrequested a separation.
Then you moved out, got yourown place and are rebuilding
(07:33):
your life without her.
It's been five months.
You do not show any signs oflow self-esteem, and leaving her
was a big boundary step for you.
In fact, you chose to stopliving with her instead of
sleeping in separate bedrooms.
You tried that and it was aliving hell, you know, for both
(07:55):
of you.
So you left.
You set limits on the textmessages and at times you don't
even respond to her textmessages because she's playing
the vulnerable victim and tryingto turn your children against
you.
You are not in the dark anymoreabout your own reality.
Everything is crystal clear now.
(08:17):
What hurts you the most is thatyou are lonely, not codependent
.
You don't want to die aloneNobody does and being lonely is
normal for anyone who has spent48 years with a person.
Give yourself some grace andcompassion, stan.
(08:37):
This is when I could tell Stanfelt some relief.
What Stan really needed in hislife is a friend, because in
some way, his wife was hisfriend for 48 years.
Therefore, he feels alone,confused and has so many
questions.
I suggested finding healthyoutlets such as attending a
(09:00):
codependency group meeting orjoining a walking or hiking club
, because this guy walks threeto five miles a day.
I wanted him to realize that itis never too late to make new
friendships.
So, for Stan, what he needed todo for himself moving forward
was to change his point of focus, to remind himself daily of all
(09:23):
the amazing things he is doingfor himself.
To enjoy the last few years ofhis life practice, recognizing
his accomplishments with genuinegratitude.
To silence a negative criticwithin his head.
To celebrate his freedom andcheck a few boxes off his bucket
(09:44):
list.
And, lastly, to make newfriendships, show himself some
grace and heal his inner wounds.
Now here's the next story.
Is there something wrong withmy throat?
So, as I've said earlier,codependency at its core is a
pattern of behavior rooted insurvival, often formed in
(10:08):
environments where love wasconditional, inconsistent or
withheld.
But this is not always the case, as you will soon learn.
Therefore, this story I'm aboutto tell is different.
The codependent traits andbehaviors were modeled to her at
such a young age by her mother.
(10:29):
So, unconsciously andunintentionally, she picked up
them because, when she formedher first romantic relationship,
taking care of a wounded person, feeling needed, seen and
understood, fed her fragile egoand her ego said give me more of
(10:51):
this please.
And it became a habit patternof choice and pleasure.
Additionally, this story stillfascinates me because the human
body is truly amazing.
It can create a healthycondition that forces you like a
health condition.
It can force you to stoprepeating the dysfunctional
(11:12):
pattern of self-abuse andself-sabotage.
As you will learn within thisstory about Tammy, tammy
developed a strange scratch inher throat.
It persisted for eight months.
She was always having to clearher throat and nothing would
help.
She went to doctors and did allthe tests.
Nothing was wrong with her.
(11:34):
The doctor said it waspsychological.
So she went to see a therapist.
The therapist agreed it waspsychological, but she still had
the scratch in her throat.
That got worse, especially whenshe was around men.
So the therapist recommendedshe see me.
As I listened to her pain story,I quickly realized that she was
(11:58):
very creative and successful ather job but was codependent.
So I dialed it back and askedher when these codependent
behaviors first surfaced.
It was when she was in highschool with her first boyfriend
who cheated on her a few times.
He came from a broken home andshe was his savior and she was
(12:22):
his savior.
But, as we all know, we can'tfix them.
They have to fix themselves.
All the men she dated andmarried were lost puppies.
Some were alcoholics, cheaters,liars.
It could not hold down a joband she became their sugar mommy
and this gave her a sense ofmeaning and purpose in life to
(12:45):
be needed.
When she had enough, she dumpedthem and moved on to the next
lost puppy.
Now this gets interesting.
The last man she was withshattered her into pieces
because he dumped her.
This had never happened before.
(13:05):
She was the one who alwaysended it.
So the night before he ghostedher and moved out, he declared
he loved her, wanted to getmarried, would stop drinking and
promised to change.
Then, when she went to work, hepacked up all his stuff and
left.
He just left her a note andsaid it was over.
(13:27):
They were not right for eachother.
Period, devastating right.
So I pulled out my book theSecret Language of your Body and
went to the section for thethroat.
When I read the possiblecontributing factors, it blew
her mind.
She said that's me in anutshell, and this is what it
says.
When I read the possiblecontributing factors, it blew
her mind.
She said that's me in anutshell, and this is what it
(13:48):
says Difficulty, communicating,low self-esteem, self-doubt,
self-sabotage, feeling shut down, misunderstood, held back,
fearful, frustrated, stuck,unworthy of good things, in
conflict with self andcontinually changing your mind,
(14:10):
difficulty trusting, feelingdepressed, sad, hopeless,
uncreative and uninspired,thinking that you lack choice.
I looked at her and said youshould thank, thank your throat
because it prevented you frombringing home another lost puppy
.
She laughed and replied.
My therapist said the samething.
(14:33):
So, to cut a long story short, Iunderwent parts therapy with
her.
I went back in time to when shewas that 14 year old girl in
high school and had a talk.
I healed that part and invitedany fragmented parts that were
listening in the background tojoin the leading personality,
(14:53):
either now or in the future.
All parts were welcome.
Then I future paced her to showall those parts what is
possible in this new reality.
After the session, her voicewas fine.
We talked for about 20 minutesand she did not clear her throat
once.
I pointed out this fact and shewas shocked.
(15:15):
When I walked her to the car,her voice was still clear.
This one session changed herlife and changed her future.
Codependency and narcissism,slash toxic partners are
questions many awakening heartsare seeking answers to.
(15:35):
Why do the most loving peopleattract the most unloving
relationships, most unlovingrelationships?
So today let's open this withcompassion.
Not blame, not shame, justtruth wrapped in grace with
questions and answers.
Why do codependent peopleattract toxic or narcissistic
(16:00):
partners?
It's an energetic puzzle.
Wounded seeks its mirror andmedicine At a soul level.
We attract what we want, butwhat we are ready to heal.
I know this is not what youwant to hear, because we can
(16:22):
become so attached to the humanexperience and overlook why our
soul is here on earth.
Therefore, a codependent oftencarries the unconscious belief
that love must be earned throughsacrifice, silence and saving.
This was their truth growing up, because love was not
(16:43):
unconditional.
They had to prove their worthto be loved.
Now a narcissistic oftencarries the opposite wound.
Love must be controlled,possessed or manipulated to feel
safe Together.
This forms a trauma bond, notbecause either person is evil,
(17:05):
but because their inner childare locked in old survival
patterns One overgives, theother overtakes.
Both are trying to feel enough.
This isn't love, it's an echo.
Codependency and narcissism aretwo prevalent and intertwined
(17:27):
psychological traits that oftenform unhealthy relationships
between partners.
Codependent individuals areusually overly dependent on
others for their emotional andpsychological needs.
They frequently attempt tomanage and control their
partner's emotional needs.
(17:48):
Narcissistic individuals, onthe other hand, are people who
have grandiose sense ofself-importance and an inability
to recognize the feelings ofothers.
They often exploit others fortheir own gain and are typically
characterized by a lack ofempathy.
(18:12):
As seen in the story of Stan,his wife could not show him
empathy.
One of the reasons why thesetwo traits attract each other is
that they often create a senseof imbalance and compensation in
the relationships.
Imbalance and compensation inthe relationships.
(18:34):
Codependent individuals usuallyseek out relationships with
narcissistic individuals as away to validate their own sense
of self-worth and to compensatefor their own feelings of
inadequacy.
In return, narcissisticindividuals often attract
codependent partners becausethey are drawn to their
emotional intensity andwillingness to sacrifice their
(18:58):
own needs for the benefit of theother person.
However, this relationshipdynamic can be toxic and
damaging for both parties.
Toxic and damaging for bothparties.
Codependent individuals canbecome so consumed by their
partner's needs that they losesight of their own desires and
(19:18):
interests.
Meanwhile, narcissisticindividuals can exploit their
partner's needs for validationand use them for their own
personal gain.
In addition, both codependentand narcissistic individuals
often struggle withcommunication and boundaries in
their relationship.
(19:38):
Codependent individuals oftenstruggle with setting healthy
boundaries with their partner,while narcissistic individuals
often struggle with empathy andunderstanding of feelings of
others.
It's worthy to note that thesetraits can be complex and
difficult to distinguish fromother personality traits, and
(20:02):
they may not always be presentin every individual.
However, understanding thedynamic between codependency and
narcissism can help individualsrecognize when they are in an
unhealthy relationship and takesteps to create change
tendencies.
It's crucial to approach themwith compassion and
understanding.
By recognizing the underlyingcauses of these behaviors and
(20:37):
offering support and guidancecan help individuals break free
from these patterns and develophealthier and more balanced
relationships.
Ultimately, this requires awillingness to confront our own
emotional pain and insecuritiesand to develop greater empathy
(20:57):
and understanding for ourselvesand others.
It's essential to approachsensitive topics like
codependency and narcissism withcompassion and understanding
rather than judgment.
So if this information soundslike someone you know, be gentle
when sharing it with them,because nobody likes to feel
(21:18):
shame.
Next question why do I keepattracting the wrong partner?
Answer the illusion of safetyin the familiar.
Many codependents grew up in ahousehold where love came with
conditions.
Here are some examples that youmay have heard from your
(21:40):
parents when you were growing upBe good and you'll be loved.
Don't upset everyone.
Your feelings make things worse.
So when they meet someoneemotionally unavailable,
controlling or unpredictable,something strange happens.
(22:01):
It feels familiar.
I know this.
Truth sucks.
The nervous system confuseschaos with chemistry.
Truth sucks the nervous systemconfuses chaos with chemistry.
This is how we're conditionedand programmed, based upon
living in an unstable orinconsistently unpredictable
home environment.
Our nervous system had to adaptand adjust to the constant
(22:27):
chaos to survive.
We are wired to survive.
So there is nothing wrong withyou.
It was just what happened toyou at such a young age.
It was unconscious andunconditional, an unintentional
way that your parents on theirpart and, let's face it, most
(22:47):
people did not grow up in a homewith unconditional love.
There was always rules andconditions around how much love
you would receive.
So you learn to adapt.
Therefore, the toxic partnermay trigger old wounds, but to
the subconscious that feels likehome.
(23:07):
But I have learned that's notweakness, it's a nervous system
doing what it was trained to do.
Next question why do I keepattracting people who are broken
from past painful relationshipsand why do I always want to be
the one who can fix or changethat?
(23:29):
Answer Unhealed empaths feelresponsible for others' pain.
Codependents often haveenormous emotional radar.
They feel the pain of thenarcissistic or toxic person.
They see the inner childbeneath the control or cruelty
(23:53):
and their heart whispers.
If I just love them enough,they'll heal, they'll change.
But here's the sacred truthyour love can't rewrite someone
else's soul contract.
Healing is always an inside job.
Next question why do I feel likesuch a failure when it comes to
(24:17):
love?
Answer the unconscious belief Idon't deserve more.
Deep down, the codependent maystill carry shame, such as the
belief maybe I'm not worthy ofhealthy love, maybe this is all
I get.
If I leave, who will I be?
(24:38):
So they stay, not out of lovebut out of fear, and that fear
becomes the invisible tether.
If you recall the episode aboutthe men who were taught not to
feel, this fear is your teacher.
The fear is trying to teach youthat you are worthy of healthy,
(24:59):
loving relationships.
You do deserve more and you dohave the strength to leave an
abusive partner situation,friendship, job or home
environment.
Question what is the rightturning point for me, because I
want to change and be happy, butI feel lost and confused.
(25:22):
Answer the turning pointhappens when you begin to see
something magical happen withinyourself.
You stop rescuing and startrespecting your own needs.
There comes a point when youstop chasing and start choosing.
This means you begin to beself-aware of the patterns of
(25:43):
behavior within yourself and youhave the power to stop them.
And you stop confusing painwith passion.
And what happens next in theturning point dance?
The narcissists, those who seekcontrol, lose interest in those
who can't be controlled, whilethe empath, those who used to
(26:05):
self-sacrifice, begin to radiatea love that says I no longer
abandon myself to keep someoneelse comfortable.
Yes, the narcissist or toxicperson might try to hoover you
back in and begin to love, bombyou again, but now your eyes are
open and no longer shut.
(26:26):
You realize you can't keepdoing this to yourself, because
it's a constant dance loop ofpleasure and pain.
To end your pain and suffering,you must take a leap of faith.
And I want to make this onething clear this isn't about
demonizing narcissists oridealizing empaths.
(26:49):
It's about honoring the danceand choosing to step off the
stage when the music no longerserves your soul.
You don't need to fix anyone tobe lovable.
In fact, you don't need tocarry anyone to prove your worth
.
You are allowed to walk awayand still be a light, and you
(27:13):
are allowed finally to be lovedin return.
Here are compassionate yet clearbreakdown of the codependent
traits and behaviors, especiallywhen someone is still
unconscious of them.
Someone is still unconscious ofthem.
So traits of codependency, thein the dark phase.
One chronic people pleasing youput others needs above your own
(27:38):
.
Constantly saying yes Feelsafer than the guilt or anxiety
of saying no.
Two emotional suppression.
You minimize or deny yourfeelings to avoid conflict or
rejection.
Vulnerability feels unsafe, soyou bottle things up and
(28:00):
sometimes until they explode.
Three caretaking over drive.
You confuse love withresponsibility.
If I don't fix them, they'llfall apart.
There's this unconscious beliefIf I can just heal them,
they'll love me back.
(28:28):
Four poor boundaries.
You may not know where you endand the other begins.
You say yes when you want tosay no and you feel guilty when
you have to say no.
Five fear of abandonment.
There is a deep fear of beingalone or rejected, which leads
to clinging or even unhealthyrelationships.
You may stay in a toxic dynamicto avoid the terror of being
(28:48):
unwanted.
Number six identify enmeshment.
Your sense of self is wrappedaround who you are for others,
not who you are within.
You can lose yourself in rolesof the caregiver, fixer, martyr,
even hero.
7.
(29:09):
Control through helping,helping others becomes a form of
control.
If others are okay, then theycan feel okay.
It's not malicious, it'ssurvival, but it's still a way
of avoiding your own inner chaos.
Eight low self-worth.
(29:30):
Deep down, you may feelunlovable or not good enough.
You overcompensate throughperfectionism, service or
emotional labor.
Nine addictive dynamics you maybe addicted to emotional highs
and lows in relationships.
Chaos feels familiar, even ifit hurts.
(29:53):
It mirrors your earlyenvironmental blueprint.
And the last one, 10,unconscious martyrism.
You suffer silently, believingyour suffering is proof of your
love.
Yet resentment builds, but youmay not voice it.
(30:13):
It leaks out in passiveaggressiveness, behaviors or
even exhaustion.
The path of compassion.
Understanding these traitsisn't about judgment.
It's about shining a gentlelight into the places that have
lived too long in shadow.
(30:34):
Someone in codependency isn'tbroken.
Someone in codependency isn'tbroken.
They're deeply loving souls.
Who's forgotten?
They deserve to be lovedwithout earning it.
Let me repeat this truth If youare codependent, you are a
deeply caring and loving souland deserve to be loved without
(30:55):
having to earn it.
When we begin to understandthat codependency is simply love
that's been bent by fear, wecan help reshape it back into
its original form free, wholeand radiant.
So buckle up, belovedtrailblazer, because you're
(31:17):
about to turn pain into alchemyand dependency into divine
wholeness.
The healing begins when yourealize your worth is inherent.
Learn that boundaries are actsof self-respect, not rejection.
Discover that love doesn't haveto come with conditions saving
(31:41):
or sacrifice.
From shadow love to sovereignlife.
Remembrance.
Once love meant survival.
You learned to read roomsbefore you read your own heart.
You became the peacekeeper, thehealer, the giver, but at what
cost?
Now the tides turn.
(32:01):
This is the path home, not thewho you were told to be, but the
who you already are beneath theaches.
So here's the journey into theseven stages of healing and
breaking the cycle ofcodependency.
Stages of healing and breakingthe cycle of codependency.
Stage one recognition, theawakening whisper.
(32:22):
You begin to notice you'reexhausted from being everything
for everyone.
You ache for people toreciprocate, but fear to ask for
it.
Your soul starts to whisper toask for it.
Your soul starts to whisper.
This isn't love, this isperformance.
(32:43):
So here's a healthy mantra I nolonger abandon myself to be
loved by others.
Stage two the unraveling sacredrage plus grief.
The mask starts slipping.
You begin to notice that oldroles feel heavy.
Anger bubbles up, not at others, but at the loss of yourself.
(33:06):
Grief pours in like a floodgateand it's opening.
Don't fight it or stuff it down.
Just let it be.
This is holy water.
So here's the healthy mantrafor that stage.
I allow my emotions to washaway what was never truly mine.
(33:29):
Stage three is about boundariesas blessings.
You learned that no is acomplete sentence.
That's right.
No is a complete sentence.
Silence can be sacred.
Saying yes to yourself maydisappoint others, and that's
okay.
(33:49):
Boundaries stop being walls.
They become doors to your innertemple.
Healthy relationships are builton mutual respect and open
communication.
Set clear boundaries with yourpartner and communicate them
assertively but respectfully.
This can help prevent feelingsof resentment and burnout.
(34:12):
A healthy mantra my energy issacred.
I choose where it flows.
Stage four reclaiming the self.
You remember that you arelovable even when you're not
giving.
Your worth isn't earned, it'sinherited.
(34:32):
You get to exist for yourself,not just as a reflection of
others.
This is when the mirror becomesa window and you see your true
reflection, radiant, whole,untamed.
Taking care of your physical,emotional and mental health is
essential for building healthyrelationships.
(34:55):
So practice self-care byengaging in activities that
nourish your mind, body andspirit, such as exercise,
meditation and spending time innature.
Here's a healthy mantra I amnot too much.
I am just enough for me.
(35:16):
Stage 5.
Sovereign Love.
You enter relationshipsdifferently this time.
I am just enough for me.
Stage five sovereign love.
You enter relationshipsdifferently this time.
No more fixing, you witness.
No more shrinking.
You expand.
No more clinging.
You connect without fear ofloss.
Love becomes a dance, not acage.
(35:38):
You stop needing, you startchoosing.
Mindfulness and emotionalregulation are key components of
healthy relationships.
Practice mindfulness by beingpresent in the moment and work
on regulating your emotions bydeveloping a greater sense of
(35:59):
self-awareness.
Here's a healthy mantra I lovefreely without losing myself.
Stage six Seek out supportiverelationship with positive
people.
Surrounding yourself withpositive people who support and
uplift you is essential forbuilding healthy relationships.
(36:21):
Seek out friends, familymembers or a therapist who can
provide a supportive andnon-judgmental environment.
Here's a healthy mantra forthat.
I surround myself withsupportive and uplifting people.
Stage 7.
Learn to let go of toxicdynamics and move on.
(36:42):
It's essential to learn how tolet go of toxic dynamics and
move on from unhealthyrelationships.
This can be a complex process,but it is necessary for building
healthy relationships andattracting positive people into
your life.
Breaking free from codependencyrequires a willingness to
(37:04):
confront your own emotionalbaggage and develop a greater
sense of self-awareness.
So here's a healing mantra itis safe for me to explore my
past and to let my pain story go.
Some final thoughtsPrioritizing self care and self
love, setting clear boundaries,practicing mindfulness and
(37:27):
emotional regulation, seekingout supportive relationships and
learning to let go of toxicdynamics can create healthy
relationships and attractpositive people into your life.
Remember that healing fromcodependency is a journey that
takes time, patience andself-compassion.
(37:49):
Be gentle with yourself anddon't be afraid or hesitate to
seek help when you need it.
Seek help when you need it.
Codependency was never yourfailure.
It was your origin story.
It's just a story, but nowyou're the author, the alchemist
(38:10):
, the divine, messiah of yourown heart.
Welcome home, love.
Since this season is aboutshining my light on various
topics to bring about clarityand healing, I have created a
guided meditation callingyourself home, a soul retrieval
meditation for impasse healersand the tender-hearted.
(38:32):
It is designed to release toxicties, reclaim your light and
return to the truth of who youare.
So until next time, and loveand light.
Angela Meyer, keri Logan Bye.
Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist
Podcast.
Your host, angela Meyer, ishere to bring you clarity if you
are stuck in confusion,self-doubt or feel lost, without
a sense of direction.
This podcast is extremelydifferent because Angela comes
from a place of wisdom,compassion and has been able to
forgive the unforgivable.
(00:22):
She's a mental healthprofessional, trauma-informed
human consciousness guide andempowerment strategist.
She knows one can't truly healand recover when one is stuck in
hate, anger and fear.
One must rise above it, findmeaning, understanding,
compassion for oneself and thetoxic people within our lives.
(00:45):
This season is aboutself-empowerment,
self-realizations andtransformation.
There is always a blog postsupporting this information, so
please visitundetectednarcissistcom so get
ready to learn about yourself,others and find a way to truly
live and thrive.
(01:06):
Once again, enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Undetected Narcissist.
Today I'm going to be talkingabout inconsistent love turns
into codependency and I'm suremany of you have read articles
or listened to people discussthe topic of codependency.
But still, today I'm going toapproach this topic from a
(01:32):
compassionate lens and an openheart, to speak to those who are
still confused, questionthemselves, feel shame about the
thought of being codependentand want a different approach to
healing themselves.
Codependency at its core is apattern of behavior rooted in
survival, often formed inenvironments where love was
(01:55):
conditional, inconsistent orwithheld.
It's not a flaw of character,it's an adaptation, a way to
feel safe, needed and valued.
But when someone is still inthe dark, unaware of these
patterns, their actions mayreflect pain disguised as love,
(02:16):
and this is key to understandingPain disguised as love.
This invisible pain isunconscious and unintentionally
woven within us over time.
Therefore, this unresolved andunprocessed pain gets wired into
our subconscious mind andnervous system.
As energetic beings having ahuman experience.
(02:38):
The medicine we seek will feellike home.
We seek will feel like home andthe solution will come when we
realize that these wired-inpatterns is no longer making us
feel good inside, but flawed andbroken.
I know this sounds deep, but Iwill unpack all this logic as a
storyteller.
(02:59):
I will share two short storiesthat might resonate with some of
you.
The first one is about Stan.
Stan is in his 70s and hasmaybe a year or two to live
because he has a terminalillness.
He still loves his wife of 48years, but in the past two years
he realized that she is avulnerable narcissist.
(03:20):
Like most people, we get mad,the anger boils to the surface
and we can feel stupid becausewe were manipulated and
controlled by someone who lovedwho we loved and believed loved
us in the same way, but can't.
When we have this realization,we can start to question
ourselves, picking apart ourflaws and imperfections,
(03:44):
questioning what did I do wrong?
Why do they treat me so poorlywhen I treat them the exact
opposite?
Or I have only one or two yearsleft to live?
Why?
Why can't they have compassiontowards me instead of anger?
Because I have a terminalillness?
And when Stan went down thatrabbit hole he did, questioning
(04:08):
what he did wrong, when thetruth is he did nothing wrong
but loved someone who could notlove him back unconditionally.
Stan needed to realize that hejust loved a wounded person who
could not give him the love hedeserved in return.
You believe your love is enoughand you give, give, give and
(04:31):
they take, take, take, andthat's important to comprehend.
When he was on his deathbed inthe hospital and got the
unfortunate news that he wasdying, his loving wife did not
shift gears into let's makethese last years the best of
your life together, but yelledat him for inconveniencing her
(04:52):
and forcing her to drop what shewas doing and speak to the
doctors.
And yes, they did go tomarriage counseling before Stan
realized she was a narcissist.
Still, when the counselorrecognized who and what Stan's
wife was, she stormed out of thecounselor's office and refused
to attend marriage counselingagain.
(05:13):
No fault to the counselor, butcalling a narcissist or toxic
person out on their own crapnever ends well.
That was their mistake.
They did not approach it from acompassionate and open-hearted
lens.
Instead, it was a lens thatmade his wife feel deep shame,
(05:35):
and nobody wants to feel shame.
One day, when I was working withStan, he questioned whether he
was codependent.
At first I was a littleconfused because he did not meet
the profile of the five coresymptoms and signs of
codependent behaviors, such asdifficulty experiencing
(05:57):
appropriate levels ofself-esteem, difficulty setting
functional boundaries,difficulty owning one's own
reality and difficultyacknowledging and meeting our
own needs and wants and beinginterdependent with others.
So I read off the behaviors toStan.
Yes, I could see those traitswithin Stan, but he hit the
(06:21):
turning point of transformationwhich I will dive into later.
He was stuck in the mindsetloop where he felt flawed, not
good enough, and was stillquestioning what he did wrong.
When we are stuck in thisnegative mindset loop, it is a
form of self-punishment set loop.
(06:47):
It is a form of self-punishmentas if we become the
authoritarian parent towards ourinner wounded child who only
wants to be heard, seen,understood and loved.
Therefore, he could not see orcomprehend how much he had
changed and grown as a person.
He was stuck on the negativeaspect of self instead of
cheering himself on with all hisaccomplishments.
(07:10):
The medicine for Stan was topractice daily self awareness
and gratitude.
So I said to Stan Stan, you areno longer codependent.
You reach the turning point ofenough is enough.
This is good news.
You left your wife andrequested a separation.
Then you moved out, got yourown place and are rebuilding
(07:33):
your life without her.
It's been five months.
You do not show any signs oflow self-esteem, and leaving her
was a big boundary step for you.
In fact, you chose to stopliving with her instead of
sleeping in separate bedrooms.
You tried that and it was aliving hell, you know, for both
(07:55):
of you.
So you left.
You set limits on the textmessages and at times you don't
even respond to her textmessages because she's playing
the vulnerable victim and tryingto turn your children against
you.
You are not in the dark anymoreabout your own reality.
Everything is crystal clear now.
(08:17):
What hurts you the most is thatyou are lonely, not codependent
.
You don't want to die aloneNobody does and being lonely is
normal for anyone who has spent48 years with a person.
Give yourself some grace andcompassion, stan.
(08:37):
This is when I could tell Stanfelt some relief.
What Stan really needed in hislife is a friend, because in
some way, his wife was hisfriend for 48 years.
Therefore, he feels alone,confused and has so many
questions.
I suggested finding healthyoutlets such as attending a
(09:00):
codependency group meeting orjoining a walking or hiking club
, because this guy walks threeto five miles a day.
I wanted him to realize that itis never too late to make new
friendships.
So, for Stan, what he needed todo for himself moving forward
was to change his point of focus, to remind himself daily of all
(09:23):
the amazing things he is doingfor himself.
To enjoy the last few years ofhis life practice, recognizing
his accomplishments with genuinegratitude.
To silence a negative criticwithin his head.
To celebrate his freedom andcheck a few boxes off his bucket
(09:44):
list.
And, lastly, to make newfriendships, show himself some
grace and heal his inner wounds.
Now here's the next story.
Is there something wrong withmy throat?
So, as I've said earlier,codependency at its core is a
pattern of behavior rooted insurvival, often formed in
(10:08):
environments where love wasconditional, inconsistent or
withheld.
But this is not always the case, as you will soon learn.
Therefore, this story I'm aboutto tell is different.
The codependent traits andbehaviors were modeled to her at
such a young age by her mother.
(10:29):
So, unconsciously andunintentionally, she picked up
them because, when she formedher first romantic relationship,
taking care of a wounded person, feeling needed, seen and
understood, fed her fragile egoand her ego said give me more of
(10:51):
this please.
And it became a habit patternof choice and pleasure.
Additionally, this story stillfascinates me because the human
body is truly amazing.
It can create a healthycondition that forces you like a
health condition.
It can force you to stoprepeating the dysfunctional
(11:12):
pattern of self-abuse andself-sabotage.
As you will learn within thisstory about Tammy, tammy
developed a strange scratch inher throat.
It persisted for eight months.
She was always having to clearher throat and nothing would
help.
She went to doctors and did allthe tests.
Nothing was wrong with her.
(11:34):
The doctor said it waspsychological.
So she went to see a therapist.
The therapist agreed it waspsychological, but she still had
the scratch in her throat.
That got worse, especially whenshe was around men.
So the therapist recommendedshe see me.
As I listened to her pain story,I quickly realized that she was
(11:58):
very creative and successful ather job but was codependent.
So I dialed it back and askedher when these codependent
behaviors first surfaced.
It was when she was in highschool with her first boyfriend
who cheated on her a few times.
He came from a broken home andshe was his savior and she was
(12:22):
his savior.
But, as we all know, we can'tfix them.
They have to fix themselves.
All the men she dated andmarried were lost puppies.
Some were alcoholics, cheaters,liars.
It could not hold down a joband she became their sugar mommy
and this gave her a sense ofmeaning and purpose in life to
(12:45):
be needed.
When she had enough, she dumpedthem and moved on to the next
lost puppy.
Now this gets interesting.
The last man she was withshattered her into pieces
because he dumped her.
This had never happened before.
(13:05):
She was the one who alwaysended it.
So the night before he ghostedher and moved out, he declared
he loved her, wanted to getmarried, would stop drinking and
promised to change.
Then, when she went to work, hepacked up all his stuff and
left.
He just left her a note andsaid it was over.
(13:27):
They were not right for eachother.
Period, devastating right.
So I pulled out my book theSecret Language of your Body and
went to the section for thethroat.
When I read the possiblecontributing factors, it blew
her mind.
She said that's me in anutshell, and this is what it
says.
When I read the possiblecontributing factors, it blew
her mind.
She said that's me in anutshell, and this is what it
(13:48):
says Difficulty, communicating,low self-esteem, self-doubt,
self-sabotage, feeling shut down, misunderstood, held back,
fearful, frustrated, stuck,unworthy of good things, in
conflict with self andcontinually changing your mind,
(14:10):
difficulty trusting, feelingdepressed, sad, hopeless,
uncreative and uninspired,thinking that you lack choice.
I looked at her and said youshould thank, thank your throat
because it prevented you frombringing home another lost puppy
.
She laughed and replied.
My therapist said the samething.
(14:33):
So, to cut a long story short, Iunderwent parts therapy with
her.
I went back in time to when shewas that 14 year old girl in
high school and had a talk.
I healed that part and invitedany fragmented parts that were
listening in the background tojoin the leading personality,
(14:53):
either now or in the future.
All parts were welcome.
Then I future paced her to showall those parts what is
possible in this new reality.
After the session, her voicewas fine.
We talked for about 20 minutesand she did not clear her throat
once.
I pointed out this fact and shewas shocked.
(15:15):
When I walked her to the car,her voice was still clear.
This one session changed herlife and changed her future.
Codependency and narcissism,slash toxic partners are
questions many awakening heartsare seeking answers to.
(15:35):
Why do the most loving peopleattract the most unloving
relationships, most unlovingrelationships?
So today let's open this withcompassion.
Not blame, not shame, justtruth wrapped in grace with
questions and answers.
Why do codependent peopleattract toxic or narcissistic
(16:00):
partners?
It's an energetic puzzle.
Wounded seeks its mirror andmedicine At a soul level.
We attract what we want, butwhat we are ready to heal.
I know this is not what youwant to hear, because we can
(16:22):
become so attached to the humanexperience and overlook why our
soul is here on earth.
Therefore, a codependent oftencarries the unconscious belief
that love must be earned throughsacrifice, silence and saving.
This was their truth growing up, because love was not
(16:43):
unconditional.
They had to prove their worthto be loved.
Now a narcissistic oftencarries the opposite wound.
Love must be controlled,possessed or manipulated to feel
safe Together.
This forms a trauma bond, notbecause either person is evil,
(17:05):
but because their inner childare locked in old survival
patterns One overgives, theother overtakes.
Both are trying to feel enough.
This isn't love, it's an echo.
Codependency and narcissism aretwo prevalent and intertwined
(17:27):
psychological traits that oftenform unhealthy relationships
between partners.
Codependent individuals areusually overly dependent on
others for their emotional andpsychological needs.
They frequently attempt tomanage and control their
partner's emotional needs.
(17:48):
Narcissistic individuals, onthe other hand, are people who
have grandiose sense ofself-importance and an inability
to recognize the feelings ofothers.
They often exploit others fortheir own gain and are typically
characterized by a lack ofempathy.
(18:12):
As seen in the story of Stan,his wife could not show him
empathy.
One of the reasons why thesetwo traits attract each other is
that they often create a senseof imbalance and compensation in
the relationships.
Imbalance and compensation inthe relationships.
(18:34):
Codependent individuals usuallyseek out relationships with
narcissistic individuals as away to validate their own sense
of self-worth and to compensatefor their own feelings of
inadequacy.
In return, narcissisticindividuals often attract
codependent partners becausethey are drawn to their
emotional intensity andwillingness to sacrifice their
(18:58):
own needs for the benefit of theother person.
However, this relationshipdynamic can be toxic and
damaging for both parties.
Toxic and damaging for bothparties.
Codependent individuals canbecome so consumed by their
partner's needs that they losesight of their own desires and
(19:18):
interests.
Meanwhile, narcissisticindividuals can exploit their
partner's needs for validationand use them for their own
personal gain.
In addition, both codependentand narcissistic individuals
often struggle withcommunication and boundaries in
their relationship.
(19:38):
Codependent individuals oftenstruggle with setting healthy
boundaries with their partner,while narcissistic individuals
often struggle with empathy andunderstanding of feelings of
others.
It's worthy to note that thesetraits can be complex and
difficult to distinguish fromother personality traits, and
(20:02):
they may not always be presentin every individual.
However, understanding thedynamic between codependency and
narcissism can help individualsrecognize when they are in an
unhealthy relationship and takesteps to create change
tendencies.
It's crucial to approach themwith compassion and
understanding.
By recognizing the underlyingcauses of these behaviors and
(20:37):
offering support and guidancecan help individuals break free
from these patterns and develophealthier and more balanced
relationships.
Ultimately, this requires awillingness to confront our own
emotional pain and insecuritiesand to develop greater empathy
(20:57):
and understanding for ourselvesand others.
It's essential to approachsensitive topics like
codependency and narcissism withcompassion and understanding
rather than judgment.
So if this information soundslike someone you know, be gentle
when sharing it with them,because nobody likes to feel
(21:18):
shame.
Next question why do I keepattracting the wrong partner?
Answer the illusion of safetyin the familiar.
Many codependents grew up in ahousehold where love came with
conditions.
Here are some examples that youmay have heard from your
(21:40):
parents when you were growing upBe good and you'll be loved.
Don't upset everyone.
Your feelings make things worse.
So when they meet someoneemotionally unavailable,
controlling or unpredictable,something strange happens.
(22:01):
It feels familiar.
I know this.
Truth sucks.
The nervous system confuseschaos with chemistry.
Truth sucks the nervous systemconfuses chaos with chemistry.
This is how we're conditionedand programmed, based upon
living in an unstable orinconsistently unpredictable
home environment.
Our nervous system had to adaptand adjust to the constant
(22:27):
chaos to survive.
We are wired to survive.
So there is nothing wrong withyou.
It was just what happened toyou at such a young age.
It was unconscious andunconditional, an unintentional
way that your parents on theirpart and, let's face it, most
(22:47):
people did not grow up in a homewith unconditional love.
There was always rules andconditions around how much love
you would receive.
So you learn to adapt.
Therefore, the toxic partnermay trigger old wounds, but to
the subconscious that feels likehome.
(23:07):
But I have learned that's notweakness, it's a nervous system
doing what it was trained to do.
Next question why do I keepattracting people who are broken
from past painful relationshipsand why do I always want to be
the one who can fix or changethat?
(23:29):
Answer Unhealed empaths feelresponsible for others' pain.
Codependents often haveenormous emotional radar.
They feel the pain of thenarcissistic or toxic person.
They see the inner childbeneath the control or cruelty
(23:53):
and their heart whispers.
If I just love them enough,they'll heal, they'll change.
But here's the sacred truthyour love can't rewrite someone
else's soul contract.
Healing is always an inside job.
Next question why do I feel likesuch a failure when it comes to
(24:17):
love?
Answer the unconscious belief Idon't deserve more.
Deep down, the codependent maystill carry shame, such as the
belief maybe I'm not worthy ofhealthy love, maybe this is all
I get.
If I leave, who will I be?
(24:38):
So they stay, not out of lovebut out of fear, and that fear
becomes the invisible tether.
If you recall the episode aboutthe men who were taught not to
feel, this fear is your teacher.
The fear is trying to teach youthat you are worthy of healthy,
(24:59):
loving relationships.
You do deserve more and you dohave the strength to leave an
abusive partner situation,friendship, job or home
environment.
Question what is the rightturning point for me, because I
want to change and be happy, butI feel lost and confused.
(25:22):
Answer the turning pointhappens when you begin to see
something magical happen withinyourself.
You stop rescuing and startrespecting your own needs.
There comes a point when youstop chasing and start choosing.
This means you begin to beself-aware of the patterns of
(25:43):
behavior within yourself and youhave the power to stop them.
And you stop confusing painwith passion.
And what happens next in theturning point dance?
The narcissists, those who seekcontrol, lose interest in those
who can't be controlled, whilethe empath, those who used to
(26:05):
self-sacrifice, begin to radiatea love that says I no longer
abandon myself to keep someoneelse comfortable.
Yes, the narcissist or toxicperson might try to hoover you
back in and begin to love, bombyou again, but now your eyes are
open and no longer shut.
(26:26):
You realize you can't keepdoing this to yourself, because
it's a constant dance loop ofpleasure and pain.
To end your pain and suffering,you must take a leap of faith.
And I want to make this onething clear this isn't about
demonizing narcissists oridealizing empaths.
(26:49):
It's about honoring the danceand choosing to step off the
stage when the music no longerserves your soul.
You don't need to fix anyone tobe lovable.
In fact, you don't need tocarry anyone to prove your worth
.
You are allowed to walk awayand still be a light, and you
(27:13):
are allowed finally to be lovedin return.
Here are compassionate yet clearbreakdown of the codependent
traits and behaviors, especiallywhen someone is still
unconscious of them.
Someone is still unconscious ofthem.
So traits of codependency, thein the dark phase.
One chronic people pleasing youput others needs above your own
(27:38):
.
Constantly saying yes Feelsafer than the guilt or anxiety
of saying no.
Two emotional suppression.
You minimize or deny yourfeelings to avoid conflict or
rejection.
Vulnerability feels unsafe, soyou bottle things up and
(28:00):
sometimes until they explode.
Three caretaking over drive.
You confuse love withresponsibility.
If I don't fix them, they'llfall apart.
There's this unconscious beliefIf I can just heal them,
they'll love me back.
(28:28):
Four poor boundaries.
You may not know where you endand the other begins.
You say yes when you want tosay no and you feel guilty when
you have to say no.
Five fear of abandonment.
There is a deep fear of beingalone or rejected, which leads
to clinging or even unhealthyrelationships.
You may stay in a toxic dynamicto avoid the terror of being
(28:48):
unwanted.
Number six identify enmeshment.
Your sense of self is wrappedaround who you are for others,
not who you are within.
You can lose yourself in rolesof the caregiver, fixer, martyr,
even hero.
7.
(29:09):
Control through helping,helping others becomes a form of
control.
If others are okay, then theycan feel okay.
It's not malicious, it'ssurvival, but it's still a way
of avoiding your own inner chaos.
Eight low self-worth.
(29:30):
Deep down, you may feelunlovable or not good enough.
You overcompensate throughperfectionism, service or
emotional labor.
Nine addictive dynamics you maybe addicted to emotional highs
and lows in relationships.
Chaos feels familiar, even ifit hurts.
(29:53):
It mirrors your earlyenvironmental blueprint.
And the last one, 10,unconscious martyrism.
You suffer silently, believingyour suffering is proof of your
love.
Yet resentment builds, but youmay not voice it.
(30:13):
It leaks out in passiveaggressiveness, behaviors or
even exhaustion.
The path of compassion.
Understanding these traitsisn't about judgment.
It's about shining a gentlelight into the places that have
lived too long in shadow.
(30:34):
Someone in codependency isn'tbroken.
Someone in codependency isn'tbroken.
They're deeply loving souls.
Who's forgotten?
They deserve to be lovedwithout earning it.
Let me repeat this truth If youare codependent, you are a
deeply caring and loving souland deserve to be loved without
(30:55):
having to earn it.
When we begin to understandthat codependency is simply love
that's been bent by fear, wecan help reshape it back into
its original form free, wholeand radiant.
So buckle up, belovedtrailblazer, because you're
(31:17):
about to turn pain into alchemyand dependency into divine
wholeness.
The healing begins when yourealize your worth is inherent.
Learn that boundaries are actsof self-respect, not rejection.
Discover that love doesn't haveto come with conditions saving
(31:41):
or sacrifice.
From shadow love to sovereignlife.
Remembrance.
Once love meant survival.
You learned to read roomsbefore you read your own heart.
You became the peacekeeper, thehealer, the giver, but at what
cost?
Now the tides turn.
(32:01):
This is the path home, not thewho you were told to be, but the
who you already are beneath theaches.
So here's the journey into theseven stages of healing and
breaking the cycle ofcodependency.
Stages of healing and breakingthe cycle of codependency.
Stage one recognition, theawakening whisper.
(32:22):
You begin to notice you'reexhausted from being everything
for everyone.
You ache for people toreciprocate, but fear to ask for
it.
Your soul starts to whisper toask for it.
Your soul starts to whisper.
This isn't love, this isperformance.
(32:43):
So here's a healthy mantra I nolonger abandon myself to be
loved by others.
Stage two the unraveling sacredrage plus grief.
The mask starts slipping.
You begin to notice that oldroles feel heavy.
Anger bubbles up, not at others, but at the loss of yourself.
(33:06):
Grief pours in like a floodgateand it's opening.
Don't fight it or stuff it down.
Just let it be.
This is holy water.
So here's the healthy mantrafor that stage.
I allow my emotions to washaway what was never truly mine.
(33:29):
Stage three is about boundariesas blessings.
You learned that no is acomplete sentence.
That's right.
No is a complete sentence.
Silence can be sacred.
Saying yes to yourself maydisappoint others, and that's
okay.
(33:49):
Boundaries stop being walls.
They become doors to your innertemple.
Healthy relationships are builton mutual respect and open
communication.
Set clear boundaries with yourpartner and communicate them
assertively but respectfully.
This can help prevent feelingsof resentment and burnout.
(34:12):
A healthy mantra my energy issacred.
I choose where it flows.
Stage four reclaiming the self.
You remember that you arelovable even when you're not
giving.
Your worth isn't earned, it'sinherited.
(34:32):
You get to exist for yourself,not just as a reflection of
others.
This is when the mirror becomesa window and you see your true
reflection, radiant, whole,untamed.
Taking care of your physical,emotional and mental health is
essential for building healthyrelationships.
(34:55):
So practice self-care byengaging in activities that
nourish your mind, body andspirit, such as exercise,
meditation and spending time innature.
Here's a healthy mantra I amnot too much.
I am just enough for me.
(35:16):
Stage 5.
Sovereign Love.
You enter relationshipsdifferently this time.
I am just enough for me.
Stage five sovereign love.
You enter relationshipsdifferently this time.
No more fixing, you witness.
No more shrinking.
You expand.
No more clinging.
You connect without fear ofloss.
Love becomes a dance, not acage.
(35:38):
You stop needing, you startchoosing.
Mindfulness and emotionalregulation are key components of
healthy relationships.
Practice mindfulness by beingpresent in the moment and work
on regulating your emotions bydeveloping a greater sense of
(35:59):
self-awareness.
Here's a healthy mantra I lovefreely without losing myself.
Stage six Seek out supportiverelationship with positive
people.
Surrounding yourself withpositive people who support and
uplift you is essential forbuilding healthy relationships.
(36:21):
Seek out friends, familymembers or a therapist who can
provide a supportive andnon-judgmental environment.
Here's a healthy mantra forthat.
I surround myself withsupportive and uplifting people.
Stage 7.
Learn to let go of toxicdynamics and move on.
(36:42):
It's essential to learn how tolet go of toxic dynamics and
move on from unhealthyrelationships.
This can be a complex process,but it is necessary for building
healthy relationships andattracting positive people into
your life.
Breaking free from codependencyrequires a willingness to
(37:04):
confront your own emotionalbaggage and develop a greater
sense of self-awareness.
So here's a healing mantra itis safe for me to explore my
past and to let my pain story go.
Some final thoughtsPrioritizing self care and self
love, setting clear boundaries,practicing mindfulness and
(37:27):
emotional regulation, seekingout supportive relationships and
learning to let go of toxicdynamics can create healthy
relationships and attractpositive people into your life.
Remember that healing fromcodependency is a journey that
takes time, patience andself-compassion.
(37:49):
Be gentle with yourself anddon't be afraid or hesitate to
seek help when you need it.
Seek help when you need it.
Codependency was never yourfailure.
It was your origin story.
It's just a story, but nowyou're the author, the alchemist
(38:10):
, the divine, messiah of yourown heart.
Welcome home, love.
Since this season is aboutshining my light on various
topics to bring about clarityand healing, I have created a
guided meditation callingyourself home, a soul retrieval
meditation for impasse healersand the tender-hearted.
(38:32):
It is designed to release toxicties, reclaim your light and
return to the truth of who youare.
So until next time, and loveand light.
Angela Meyer, keri Logan Bye.
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