Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what’s actually true? Every time I try...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisses my concerns, like he did with hi...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted from picking myself back up after eve...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• In the new edition of Betrayal & Beyond you took out the part about "forgiving yourself." I am happy you did because I don't agree with that concept. I believe in God's forgiveness, but I wonder why you decided to take that part out of the new edition?
• Each time my husband relapses, I fe...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosur...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationshi...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal tem...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way?
• Could yo...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting o...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in ...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-min...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? 
• I'm a therapist wit...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When i...

Email your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore ...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from ...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in proble...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

- I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing coun...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 
 

• In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with he...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. ...