Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in ...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-min...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? 
• I'm a therapist wit...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When i...

Email your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore ...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from ...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in proble...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

- I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing coun...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 
 

• In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with he...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. ...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

- Is lifelong sobriety possible? My husband has been addicted to pornography since he was 12-13. He has gone through a 12 step recovery program and gained 2 years of sobriety and good recovery. Recently, he has started relapsing over a 6 month perio...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

• Do you have any suggestions on menopause and the effect it has on sexual intimacy? How to work through it, as well as just how important is sexual intimacy in a relationship? I know emotional intimacy is key but what about the physical?
• I would be...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

• The language often used by Pure Desire is for married couples, but what about the seriously dating couples who are moving toward marriage? What counsel do you have for young Christian adults in committed dating relationships who are close to enga...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

• How do I tread the line between being a trigger for my husband and still being sexy and flirty? I used to love wearing lingerie type nightgowns and throughout the day send messages to my husband about plans for our sexy time. But now I’m scared...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• I'm the addict spouse, and I've had a porn addiction since I was 11 years old (I'm 26 now). I've struggled with sexual addiction well before my wife and I met. I'm in recovery and making progress, but it’s still a very present struggle. How do I...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

• I’m 62 years old and found out about my husbands porn addiction over 6 years ago. He had disclosed to me that he had been masturbating and using porn since he was 12 years old. It was devastating. We’ve sought help in many areas: from our church,...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• How do I start a discussion with my husband? He's now bringing up that he thinks I was unfaithful to him 10 years ago. He is currently texting with a girl that he used to text with in a sexual context 4 months ago. He says it's no longer sexual,...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• Do I have to have sex whenever he wants it to keep him from temptation?
• My husband is working on his recovery, but he says he needs me to be more supportive. I’m crushed and angry. How can I tell him I am unable to cheer him on right now?
• Is it tr...

 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• What is the difference between being controlling and setting boundaries?
• We are 6 years into recovery from my infidelity. My husband still associates my drinking with me being unfaithful. We've had to work through his controlling tendencies and ...