29. Dominican Women & the Burden of Overfunctioning: When Being ‘Strong’ Became Survival

Send us a text

Many Dominican women didn’t learn how to rest.
They learned how to handle everything.

This episode explores how overfunctioning became survival for many Dominican women, how it lives in the nervous system, relationships, and money — and what it takes to begin softening without guilt.

This episode is Part 2 of the conversation that began in
Dominican Men & The Freeze Response: Raised Strong, Silent, and Emotionally Alone.

🧠 SEGMENTS

SEGMENT 1 — What Overfunctioning Really Is

Overfunctioning is not ambition, competence, or personality.
 It’s a nervous system response that develops when being needed feels like safety.

📝 Journal Prompt:
Where in my life do I feel responsible for things that are not actually mine?

✨ Affirmation:
I am allowed to stop overfunctioning to feel safe.

SEGMENT 2 — Where Dominican Women Learned This

Many Dominican women grew up watching women who never rested.
 We learned early that usefulness meant worth, and softness felt unsafe.

📝 Journal Prompt:
What did the women in my family teach me about love, rest, and responsibility?

✨ Affirmation:
I honor the women before me without repeating their exhaustion.

SEGMENT 3 — Overfunctioning in Relationships

Overfunctioning turns love into labor.
 It shows up as over-explaining, emotional managing, and carrying the relationship alone.

📝 Journal Prompt:
Where am I over-giving or over-managing to keep connection?

✨ Affirmation:
I don’t have to carry love alone to be loved.

SEGMENT 4 — Overfunctioning & Money

For many Dominican women, money became responsibility instead of support.
 Control feels like safety, even when the body stays tense.

📝 Journal Prompt:
Where do I use control instead of trust in my relationship with money?

✨ Affirmation:
My money can support my peace, not just my survival.

SEGMENT 5 — The Cost of Always Being “The Strong One”

Being the strong one has a quiet cost: burnout, emotional shutdown, anxiety around rest, and guilt when receiving.

📝 Journal Prompt:
What has my body been asking me to slow down or release?

✨ Affirmation:
Rest is not something I earn — it’s something I need.

SEGMENT 6 — What Dominican Women Need to Heal

Healing doesn’t mean becoming passive.
 It means becoming regulated — and letting go of what was never yours to carry.

📝 Journal Prompt:
What would my life look like if I didn’t need to prove my worth through effort?

✨ Affirmation:
I am allowed to receive without overfunctioning.

🙏 CLOSING PRAYER

A prayer for women who learned to survive by doing everything — and are now learning that softness can be safe.

🔔 SUPPORT THE PODCAST

✨ 🙏 Your support keeps this Dominican healing space alive. This podcast is a refuge — where we name what hurts, heal out loud, and reclaim our faith, culture, and tenderness. With your contribution, I can keep creating honest, purposeful, and soul-rooted episodes. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2500478/support

✨ Blank Journals available on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/s?k=gil-soto+journals&i=digital-text&crid=6CBQ35KZENF8&sprefix=gil-soto+journals%2Cdigital-text%2C98&ref=nb_sb_noss

✨ Follow on IG & TikTok: @unfilandunapologeticpod

Rest is allowed.
Receiving is allowed.
Softness is safe here.

Support the show