June 8, 2025 • 18 mins
Have you ever found yourself proudly declaring, "God and I are good on our own" only to discover the painful limitations of spiritual isolation? This soul-stirring journey explores the transformation from fierce independence to the healing embrace of community faith.
The path begins with childhood church wounds and a Simon & Garfunkel soundtrack—"I am a rock, I am an island"—as spiritual self-sufficiency becomes both armor and prison. When cancer strikes, that carefully constructed independence crumbles in the face of fear and uncertainty. The contrast between facing a life-threatening diagnosis alone versus surrounded by church family becomes the powerful "tale of two scans" that reveals how deeply we need each other.
Through authentic vulnerability, this message examines the complications of church-as-family without glossing over the hard parts. Yes, spiritual communities can wound us. Yes, some relationships require boundaries (Romans 12:18). But the gradual quieting of fear that comes through genuine connection cannot be found in isolation. As we learn to receive support as readily as we offer it, something profound shifts in our spiritual landscape.
Whether you're a committed church member, a spiritual nomad, or someone nursing old religious wounds, this vulnerable story offers a compassionate invitation to reconsider what it truly means to be the church rather than merely attend church. Perhaps the family of faith—messy and imperfect as it is—might be exactly what your journey needs right now. Take a moment to reflect: Where might God be inviting you into deeper community, and what first step could you take today?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Linda Northrup (00:00):
Of course.
(00:00):
When Pastor Darren said I wantto get you up there one more
time before you leave, Iblithely said sure, I'm always
as intrigued by the developmentof the things that I preach as
anyone else, because I start outwith the bad first draft and
then God helps with the editingprocess.
(00:20):
So I enjoy it as much for whatI learn as for what I'm able to
share.
Then I started looking at thecircumstances.
Oh, it's my last Sundayworshiping regularly with this
group of people no pressurethere.
And oh, it's Pentecost Sunday,okay.
And then, as I was watching thenews yesterday and it feels
(00:44):
like the world is falling apartand division is overwhelming
peace, joy and unity.
Well, it's New Member Sunday,just to top that off, and I want
to start with a musicalreference.
As you all know, I often do Godthrows these songs in my head
(01:05):
and I just feel like I have touse them.
So, in the iconic words ofSister Sledge, we are family.
I got all my sisters with meand, poetic license, my brothers
as well.
This on this slide is how itall starts for me.
(01:27):
When we talk about the church,we hear a lot about being
brothers and sisters in Christ,and this verse this morning
about being the family of God,the very children of God, and
just like the image of God, theFather, as many of you have
heard in previous messages thatI've given, that can be
(01:50):
complicated.
Families can be complicated,did I say, can be?
I probably should have saidfamilies are complicated and
bringing it down a level.
I think it's because people arecomplicated or I don't know.
Maybe, to be more specific andhonest, I think people tend to
(02:11):
complicate things, maybeespecially relationships.
Jesus kept trying to breakthrough with a simple message.
Pastor Darren spoke to usrecently about the Beatitudes
where Jesus makes clear thatpower and wealth are not at the
(02:33):
heart of his message.
Jesus spoke particularly offeeding the hungry, clothing the
naked, visiting the sick andimprisoned and just basically
attending the needs of thesuffering, and that's in Matthew
25, 31.
(02:54):
It's always worth another read.
Jesus even went so far as tosay that when we do that for
others, we are doing it for him.
And I think, even moreimportantly, he added on when we
neglect people who aresuffering, we are neglecting
(03:15):
Jesus.
Well, what does this have to dowith the church?
Just like families can do harmand cause pain, the church can
be a dysfunctional family and,as my grandma used to say, it
(03:36):
can hurt like the dickens whenspiritual brothers and sisters
are the source of disruption andemotional trauma.
What can we do?
How do we respond?
What is the church?
Last week, pastor Darren spokefrom Jeremiah.
(03:58):
The words that really hit homefor me were around the fact that
God didn't need a temple.
Me were around the fact thatGod didn't need a temple.
God doesn't need a building forthere to be a church.
I once heard a preacher say youdon't go to church, you are the
(04:23):
church.
And it seems simple in a waylike when Jesus told us in
Matthew 22, 37 to 40, love Godwith all your heart, soul and
mind and love your neighbor asyourself.
He said.
All the law and the prophetsare summed up in these two
commands, are summed up in thesetwo commands.
(04:46):
Well, when it comes to beingthe church, being the family of
the very children of God, thisphrase you are the church.
For me it can be a littleloaded.
There are some challenges andopportunities that this concept
has brought in my life and Iwant to share just a couple of
(05:07):
things about those challengesand opportunities as we get
ready to welcome some newmembers today.
As many of you know, I grew upin the church and as my faith
grew, I had growing pains, justlike a lot of us did growing up.
(05:30):
I doubted, I questioned, Irebelled, and some people in my
church family were hurtful.
I was rejected.
I was even vilified by some.
Now my reaction, much like myreaction to my dysfunctional
(05:50):
biological family, was to closemyself off more and more and
become self-sufficient andindependent.
I'm fine without them, was mymantra, and I thought God
doesn't need a building, andneither do I.
God and me, we're fine withoutall of that.
(06:13):
And I built a life that workedpretty well.
I visited church buildings fromtime to time, as I had told our
former pastor Walt the firstday I met him.
I'm not much of a joiner, but Ilove to visit.
It's likely not a surprise toanyone that one of my favorite
(06:34):
songs growing up was the Simonand Garfunkel song, " I am a
rock, and those lyrics say I ama rock, I am an island.
I was committed to being strong,to loving God and to doing good
, but on my own, thank you verymuch.
(06:55):
I was great at giving help andcomfort, especially in my role
as a lawyer.
I was terrible at asking for orreceiving it.
Now.
I didn't fully realize it atthe time, but I had chosen a
very hard road, chosen a veryhard road, and God and Jesus
(07:26):
trudged it all the way, sendingbeams of love and light through
people who showed up on my pathmy grandparents, my sisters,
people I met in those occasionalchurch visits, people I
encountered in my work and involunteer work.
Now I'd sit at these fountainsof love and light like a
traveler wandering in the desertwhen they get to an oasis, but
(07:50):
each time I'd turn down theinvitation to stay, to get more
deeply involved, and afterfilling up my little tank, I'd
head on out alone again.
I was perpetually running onempty, but I didn't really know
it.
We are the church.
(08:10):
We are the church became for meI am the church.
And that was a risky journeyfraught with peril.
It was not the path I think myloving God wanted for me.
Nevertheless, he never left myside as I trudged along.
(08:31):
And that's the challenge for me.
To think that, since we are thechurch, we don't need other
followers of Christ to worshipand love our Lord.
And truthfully, we don't.
What we do need and more oftenthan I think, most of us are
(08:56):
comfortable admitting is helpalong that path.
We live in a world that prizesself-sufficiency, accomplishment
and independence to a levelthat I think is toxic is toxic.
(09:19):
Our birth families are oftenscattered and we can do and get
nearly everything we need forsurvival on the Internet without
actually having to encounterother people IRL in real life.
But we're social creatures Godmade us that way and we are all,
(09:44):
from time to time, the bleedingsoul whom the Samaritan
encountered on the side of theroad, in need of a kind word, a
warm cloak, a soft bed, a hotmeal.
There are a lot of people likethat in our world today, and at
(10:09):
times we are all the Samaritanwith an opportunity to help,
with an opportunity to help.
And, that being said, asimportant as joining together is
, I do want to say one thing Notall family members are good for
(10:31):
us, and I don't believe thatGod demands that we stay in
situations that are harmful forour well-being.
Now, this is a conversationworthy of several sermons.
It takes discernment, it takeslove, but Jesus gives us,
through Paul in Romans, a littleguidance.
(10:52):
In Romans 12.18.
It says, if possible, so far asit depends on you, live
peaceably.
So keep that in mind as we'renavigating this concept of the
church as family.
Families can be challenging,including our family in Christ,
but I feel like when I startedto open my heart.
(11:13):
When I started to open my heart, when I became more willing to
be vulnerable, I found that afamily, instead of hurting, can
buoy us up when we're sinkingand bind our wounds when we're
(11:34):
bleeding.
Now, my subtitle for this sermonis " tale of two scans.
As most of you know and youknow not to load this day
anymore it was almost exactlyfive years ago to the day when I
got the news that my mammogramdidn't look so good.
(11:56):
Now I've talked to many of youfrom this pulpit about how the
going got pretty rough as Itrudged along on my own, even
with my soulmate Dave here by myside.
I knew God was there, butsomehow I couldn't find my way
to love and peace at all.
And as the diagnostic processcontinued, the news just got
(12:19):
worse and worse.
Yep, it's cancer.
Yeah, it's the invasive andaggressive kind and, by the way,
it's on the move.
We need to act right away.
I wasn't getting any sleep.
I was barely eating.
I wasn't getting any sleep, Iwas barely eating.
The path around was gettingdarker and darker and, honestly,
I could feel stuck in theshadow of death, full of fear.
(12:44):
And by the time they decided togive me a PET scan, that
full-body, all-in-one cancerdetection test, I was in full
panic mode from the moment Iheard I was getting the test
until, thankfully, many dayslater, I got the news that the
cancer was confined to mybreasts.
(13:06):
Now, as I started treatment,very aggressive treatment, a few
weeks later I reached out toPastor Walt, who I had
fortuitously met several monthsbefore, and with his loving
encouragement, I decided to dipmy toe back into the pool with
all of you.
I worshipped online becausethis was during the pandemic,
(13:30):
just to make things even moreexciting, and I worshipped
online in my bathrobe, fightingall the lovely things that
happen to you when you're goingthrough chemo, and I was
desperately in need of comfortand peace.
I'm still on that journey, tobe honest, even though I'm
(13:54):
cancer-free.
As the weeks and months ofbeing online with all of you,
and then, when the world openedup and my immune system was back
online and coming and beinghere in person, something in me
changed.
I have Dave up here with metoday.
(14:17):
Something in us changed Now.
There was no big aha moment,but for me at least, the
restless beast that wasinstalled in me during my
childhood, yelling constantlyabout my unworthiness, screaming
(14:42):
about how much there was to beafraid of, got quieter and
sometimes, with increasingfrequency, I could hear another
voice you are my beloved child.
All is already forgiven.
Come here and rest in me.
(15:07):
We've got this.
What changed?
The biggest thing I can think ofall right, it's time is that I
started hanging out regularlywith all of you.
I started seeing that, eventhough my birth family was kind
(15:32):
of a mess, god had been sendinga family full of love and light
all along my journey.
This next slide I've beenkeeping for years near my desk,
reminding me that falling downis part of learning to walk.
This is my grandmother and thisis me at about one year old.
(15:55):
As I've walked this path withyou, this photo has come to mean
so much more to me.
It's God's love made manifestInvitation to feast with a
loving family at all points onmy journey, even when I kept
(16:17):
turning them down.
God never gives up on us.
I love that about God.
Now our life has changed forthe better because of our time
here with all of you?
And why two scans, right?
Well, recently my blood testswere less than perfect,
(16:38):
something that sends fear, starkfear, through anyone who has
been through cancer treatmentand they said you know, before
you leave for Wyoming, let's doanother one of those PET scans.
Well, spoiler alert, as I said,all was fine.
But as I was going through theprocess and no, I didn't reach
out to any of you, I didn't askfor prayers I am a work in
(17:01):
progress but it was differentfor me this time because in my
heart, I knew I had all of you.
I already had your prayers.
I didn't feel alone as I went infor the test and waited some
(17:23):
very long days for the results.
I ate, I slept and I was evenable to pray Now, it was the
Lord's Prayer in the 23rd Psalm,on a loop.
But I think those words are forwhen our words desert us and
the results.
When the results came in, I ranaround the room and screamed
(17:43):
and laughed with Dave, and allof you were there, Just as
you're here with us.
Just as you're here with us,just as your love and grace and
sweet spirits will be with uswherever we are, including the
wilds of Wyoming.
(18:04):
Now this last slide speaks tome about where we are in our
journey With a deeper and moresturdy faith.
Still a couple of cubs punintended for anyone who knows
this guy from Chicago.
We still have tons to learn,but we're not alone and we're
(18:29):
armed with the knowledge that,when the darkness comes calling,
we're armed with the knowledgethat, when the darkness comes
calling, we can snuggle with ourfamily and tell the devil to go
.
Talk to mama.
Amen.
Of course.
(00:00):
When Pastor Darren said I wantto get you up there one more
time before you leave, Iblithely said sure, I'm always
as intrigued by the developmentof the things that I preach as
anyone else, because I start outwith the bad first draft and
then God helps with the editingprocess.
(00:20):
So I enjoy it as much for whatI learn as for what I'm able to
share.
Then I started looking at thecircumstances.
Oh, it's my last Sundayworshiping regularly with this
group of people no pressurethere.
And oh, it's Pentecost Sunday,okay.
And then, as I was watching thenews yesterday and it feels
(00:44):
like the world is falling apartand division is overwhelming
peace, joy and unity.
Well, it's New Member Sunday,just to top that off, and I want
to start with a musicalreference.
As you all know, I often do Godthrows these songs in my head
(01:05):
and I just feel like I have touse them.
So, in the iconic words ofSister Sledge, we are family.
I got all my sisters with meand, poetic license, my brothers
as well.
This on this slide is how itall starts for me.
(01:27):
When we talk about the church,we hear a lot about being
brothers and sisters in Christ,and this verse this morning
about being the family of God,the very children of God, and
just like the image of God, theFather, as many of you have
heard in previous messages thatI've given, that can be
(01:50):
complicated.
Families can be complicated,did I say, can be?
I probably should have saidfamilies are complicated and
bringing it down a level.
I think it's because people arecomplicated or I don't know.
Maybe, to be more specific andhonest, I think people tend to
(02:11):
complicate things, maybeespecially relationships.
Jesus kept trying to breakthrough with a simple message.
Pastor Darren spoke to usrecently about the Beatitudes
where Jesus makes clear thatpower and wealth are not at the
(02:33):
heart of his message.
Jesus spoke particularly offeeding the hungry, clothing the
naked, visiting the sick andimprisoned and just basically
attending the needs of thesuffering, and that's in Matthew
25, 31.
(02:54):
It's always worth another read.
Jesus even went so far as tosay that when we do that for
others, we are doing it for him.
And I think, even moreimportantly, he added on when we
neglect people who aresuffering, we are neglecting
(03:15):
Jesus.
Well, what does this have to dowith the church?
Just like families can do harmand cause pain, the church can
be a dysfunctional family and,as my grandma used to say, it
(03:36):
can hurt like the dickens whenspiritual brothers and sisters
are the source of disruption andemotional trauma.
What can we do?
How do we respond?
What is the church?
Last week, pastor Darren spokefrom Jeremiah.
(03:58):
The words that really hit homefor me were around the fact that
God didn't need a temple.
Me were around the fact thatGod didn't need a temple.
God doesn't need a building forthere to be a church.
I once heard a preacher say youdon't go to church, you are the
(04:23):
church.
And it seems simple in a waylike when Jesus told us in
Matthew 22, 37 to 40, love Godwith all your heart, soul and
mind and love your neighbor asyourself.
He said.
All the law and the prophetsare summed up in these two
commands, are summed up in thesetwo commands.
(04:46):
Well, when it comes to beingthe church, being the family of
the very children of God, thisphrase you are the church.
For me it can be a littleloaded.
There are some challenges andopportunities that this concept
has brought in my life and Iwant to share just a couple of
(05:07):
things about those challengesand opportunities as we get
ready to welcome some newmembers today.
As many of you know, I grew upin the church and as my faith
grew, I had growing pains, justlike a lot of us did growing up.
(05:30):
I doubted, I questioned, Irebelled, and some people in my
church family were hurtful.
I was rejected.
I was even vilified by some.
Now my reaction, much like myreaction to my dysfunctional
(05:50):
biological family, was to closemyself off more and more and
become self-sufficient andindependent.
I'm fine without them, was mymantra, and I thought God
doesn't need a building, andneither do I.
God and me, we're fine withoutall of that.
(06:13):
And I built a life that workedpretty well.
I visited church buildings fromtime to time, as I had told our
former pastor Walt the firstday I met him.
I'm not much of a joiner, but Ilove to visit.
It's likely not a surprise toanyone that one of my favorite
(06:34):
songs growing up was the Simonand Garfunkel song, " I am a
rock, and those lyrics say I ama rock, I am an island.
I was committed to being strong,to loving God and to doing good
, but on my own, thank you verymuch.
(06:55):
I was great at giving help andcomfort, especially in my role
as a lawyer.
I was terrible at asking for orreceiving it.
Now.
I didn't fully realize it atthe time, but I had chosen a
very hard road, chosen a veryhard road, and God and Jesus
(07:26):
trudged it all the way, sendingbeams of love and light through
people who showed up on my pathmy grandparents, my sisters,
people I met in those occasionalchurch visits, people I
encountered in my work and involunteer work.
Now I'd sit at these fountainsof love and light like a
traveler wandering in the desertwhen they get to an oasis, but
(07:50):
each time I'd turn down theinvitation to stay, to get more
deeply involved, and afterfilling up my little tank, I'd
head on out alone again.
I was perpetually running onempty, but I didn't really know
it.
We are the church.
(08:10):
We are the church became for meI am the church.
And that was a risky journeyfraught with peril.
It was not the path I think myloving God wanted for me.
Nevertheless, he never left myside as I trudged along.
(08:31):
And that's the challenge for me.
To think that, since we are thechurch, we don't need other
followers of Christ to worshipand love our Lord.
And truthfully, we don't.
What we do need and more oftenthan I think, most of us are
(08:56):
comfortable admitting is helpalong that path.
We live in a world that prizesself-sufficiency, accomplishment
and independence to a levelthat I think is toxic is toxic.
(09:19):
Our birth families are oftenscattered and we can do and get
nearly everything we need forsurvival on the Internet without
actually having to encounterother people IRL in real life.
But we're social creatures Godmade us that way and we are all,
(09:44):
from time to time, the bleedingsoul whom the Samaritan
encountered on the side of theroad, in need of a kind word, a
warm cloak, a soft bed, a hotmeal.
There are a lot of people likethat in our world today, and at
(10:09):
times we are all the Samaritanwith an opportunity to help,
with an opportunity to help.
And, that being said, asimportant as joining together is
, I do want to say one thing Notall family members are good for
(10:31):
us, and I don't believe thatGod demands that we stay in
situations that are harmful forour well-being.
Now, this is a conversationworthy of several sermons.
It takes discernment, it takeslove, but Jesus gives us,
through Paul in Romans, a littleguidance.
(10:52):
In Romans 12.18.
It says, if possible, so far asit depends on you, live
peaceably.
So keep that in mind as we'renavigating this concept of the
church as family.
Families can be challenging,including our family in Christ,
but I feel like when I startedto open my heart.
(11:13):
When I started to open my heart, when I became more willing to
be vulnerable, I found that afamily, instead of hurting, can
buoy us up when we're sinkingand bind our wounds when we're
(11:34):
bleeding.
Now, my subtitle for this sermonis " tale of two scans.
As most of you know and youknow not to load this day
anymore it was almost exactlyfive years ago to the day when I
got the news that my mammogramdidn't look so good.
(11:56):
Now I've talked to many of youfrom this pulpit about how the
going got pretty rough as Itrudged along on my own, even
with my soulmate Dave here by myside.
I knew God was there, butsomehow I couldn't find my way
to love and peace at all.
And as the diagnostic processcontinued, the news just got
(12:19):
worse and worse.
Yep, it's cancer.
Yeah, it's the invasive andaggressive kind and, by the way,
it's on the move.
We need to act right away.
I wasn't getting any sleep.
I was barely eating.
I wasn't getting any sleep, Iwas barely eating.
The path around was gettingdarker and darker and, honestly,
I could feel stuck in theshadow of death, full of fear.
(12:44):
And by the time they decided togive me a PET scan, that
full-body, all-in-one cancerdetection test, I was in full
panic mode from the moment Iheard I was getting the test
until, thankfully, many dayslater, I got the news that the
cancer was confined to mybreasts.
(13:06):
Now, as I started treatment,very aggressive treatment, a few
weeks later I reached out toPastor Walt, who I had
fortuitously met several monthsbefore, and with his loving
encouragement, I decided to dipmy toe back into the pool with
all of you.
I worshipped online becausethis was during the pandemic,
(13:30):
just to make things even moreexciting, and I worshipped
online in my bathrobe, fightingall the lovely things that
happen to you when you're goingthrough chemo, and I was
desperately in need of comfortand peace.
I'm still on that journey, tobe honest, even though I'm
(13:54):
cancer-free.
As the weeks and months ofbeing online with all of you,
and then, when the world openedup and my immune system was back
online and coming and beinghere in person, something in me
changed.
I have Dave up here with metoday.
(14:17):
Something in us changed Now.
There was no big aha moment,but for me at least, the
restless beast that wasinstalled in me during my
childhood, yelling constantlyabout my unworthiness, screaming
(14:42):
about how much there was to beafraid of, got quieter and
sometimes, with increasingfrequency, I could hear another
voice you are my beloved child.
All is already forgiven.
Come here and rest in me.
(15:07):
We've got this.
What changed?
The biggest thing I can think ofall right, it's time is that I
started hanging out regularlywith all of you.
I started seeing that, eventhough my birth family was kind
(15:32):
of a mess, god had been sendinga family full of love and light
all along my journey.
This next slide I've beenkeeping for years near my desk,
reminding me that falling downis part of learning to walk.
This is my grandmother and thisis me at about one year old.
(15:55):
As I've walked this path withyou, this photo has come to mean
so much more to me.
It's God's love made manifestInvitation to feast with a
loving family at all points onmy journey, even when I kept
(16:17):
turning them down.
God never gives up on us.
I love that about God.
Now our life has changed forthe better because of our time
here with all of you?
And why two scans, right?
Well, recently my blood testswere less than perfect,
(16:38):
something that sends fear, starkfear, through anyone who has
been through cancer treatmentand they said you know, before
you leave for Wyoming, let's doanother one of those PET scans.
Well, spoiler alert, as I said,all was fine.
But as I was going through theprocess and no, I didn't reach
out to any of you, I didn't askfor prayers I am a work in
(17:01):
progress but it was differentfor me this time because in my
heart, I knew I had all of you.
I already had your prayers.
I didn't feel alone as I went infor the test and waited some
(17:23):
very long days for the results.
I ate, I slept and I was evenable to pray Now, it was the
Lord's Prayer in the 23rd Psalm,on a loop.
But I think those words are forwhen our words desert us and
the results.
When the results came in, I ranaround the room and screamed
(17:43):
and laughed with Dave, and allof you were there, Just as
you're here with us.
Just as you're here with us,just as your love and grace and
sweet spirits will be with uswherever we are, including the
wilds of Wyoming.
(18:04):
Now this last slide speaks tome about where we are in our
journey With a deeper and moresturdy faith.
Still a couple of cubs punintended for anyone who knows
this guy from Chicago.
We still have tons to learn,but we're not alone and we're
(18:29):
armed with the knowledge that,when the darkness comes calling,
we're armed with the knowledgethat, when the darkness comes
calling, we can snuggle with ourfamily and tell the devil to go
.
Talk to mama.
Amen.
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