June 15, 2025 • 20 mins
How do we recognize God's presence in our daily lives? Where do we turn when the divine feels distant? What actions can bring us closer to our spiritual purpose?
Tim Bonds, a longtime church member and RAND Corporation senior fellow, opens his heart in this intimate conversation about faith, purpose, and presence. With remarkable vulnerability, Tim shares how his professional work supporting military families and personal experiences with family challenges have shaped his understanding of God's presence in both joyful and difficult seasons.
At the core of Tim's testimony lies a profound insight: God is visible through the "angels" who extend kindness without expectation of return. From the child who welcomed his daughter after a difficult move to colleagues who offered support during professional challenges, these encounters reveal divine love in action. Yet Tim doesn't shy away from discussing seasons when God felt distant—during his father's terminal illness and while navigating his youngest child's lifelong struggles.
Drawing wisdom from the parable of the Good Samaritan, Tim reflects on how easily we can become like the priest or Levite who "lost the plot" of what truly matters. Even good people with good intentions can miss opportunities to embody God's love when distracted by lesser concerns. The challenge, Tim suggests, is to consistently "keep the main thing the main thing"—to recognize what truly matters amid life's countless demands and distractions.
This conversation offers a spiritual practice worth adopting: regularly asking ourselves where we see God, where God feels distant, and what we can do to make divine presence more tangible. Tim's honest reflections remind us that faith isn't about having all the answers but about continuing to seek, serve, and remain present—especially when we cannot change difficult circumstances.
Join us for this heartfelt exploration of faith in action and discover how seemingly small acts of kindness can become powerful expressions of God's unwavering love in a sometimes broken world.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Pastor Darren (00:00):
Well, a couple of months ago, when I was piecing
together, we had annualconference coming, that United
Methodist Conference once a year.
I thought that is a rough weekto put a sermon together with
time and everything.
So a couple of times what I'vedone is let people get to know
somebody who's walked in theirmidst in a deeper way.
(00:21):
Oftentimes it'll be somebodythey've known for years and
years, maybe even decades, andso I'm going to invite Tim Bonds
to come forward.
There.
He is hiding in the corner overhere and I know Tim has had an
interesting faith journey andnot only that, an interesting
(00:43):
guy as well.
Those of you who've been inBible study and other places
with him know that.
So here we'll sit down so wedon't look all tense.
I'm a little nervous, yeah, whyare they so tense?
So before we start, tim knowsthere's three questions I'm
asking.
Right, I'm going to add afourth.
Tim Bonds (01:07):
Do I get a lifeline?
Pastor Darren (01:09):
I knew enough to know.
Engineer, right, engineer, youadd something to the plan for an
engineer.
There's usually a cost andschedule impact.
So I'm going to invite you totake one minute and just give
the quick overview of your life.
You know, born here, you metyour lovely wife Nancy, the kind
(01:30):
of things you've done for aliving, your kids and maybe what
lands you here.
Tim Bonds (01:37):
So very quickly, in less than a minute.
Born and raised in Michigan,met my wife at the University of
Michigan.
We have some fellow alumni herein the room today.
We moved here.
We lived in St Louis for anumber of years, then we moved
here in 1993 and started withthis church right away.
So it's been 32 years.
(01:57):
Our three daughters grew up inthis church.
One of them is volunteeringright now in Sunday school there
you go.
Started work here at the Randright now in Sunday school,
there you go, and started workhere at the Rand Corporation
down in Santa Monica.
And that, in less than a minute, is about it, yeah.
Pastor Darren (02:12):
So I'm going to push just a touch.
What have you done with theRand Corporation?
Because I know it's provocativestuff you do.
Tim Bonds (02:20):
So many things Now, part of the reason why I'm
nervous today.
Pastor Darren, in your messageyou said that I'd had a
provocative life and I rememberone time in my past when I was
provocative, I think theprincipal called me down to the
office.
So we were wondering exactlywhat would be in the interview.
Today, larry, when we werekicking around the choir loft
(02:41):
before this service said thatwell, maybe it's an exit
interview.
So, without quite knowing whatto expect At the Rand
Corporation, most of my workthere has been trying to help
the Department of Defense makebetter decisions, and that could
be about personnel policy, thatcould be in acquisition of new
(03:02):
technologies, that could be insome of their strategies and
some of their other policies.
Worked a long time 10 years withthe Air Force and then another
10 years with the Army.
I was a program director andran Project Air Force, working
with one of my colleagues inchurch here today, and then I
(03:22):
was a vice president of the ArmyResearch Division.
Now I'm a senior fellow, whichI think means I used to run
something but no longer do.
Pastor Darren (03:31):
But you've been in some significant rooms too.
You've been in the room whereit happened every now and again,
Every now and then.
Yeah, which you know.
Tim Bonds (03:38):
Kudos to you, you know, to have done something and
done it in a way that gets youyou where, where what you have
is is coveted by importantpeople these are just
opportunities to serve really,and so the the any kudos would
be only if the team that Irepresented and was the front
person for several times in mycareer if they provided
something of value.
(03:58):
So if there was value, therewas a whole room full of people
that did it.
If there was an error made,then it was usually my error
alone.
Pastor Darren (04:08):
All right, Now you can relax.
We're going to go to the threequestions I told you I was going
to ask so that he could preparefor them.
So my first question and thisis actually part of a prayer
practice, a spiritual discipline, if you are interested in doing
it.
It's kind of a Lectio, kind ofunderstanding a little bit, I
(04:30):
guess.
But at the end of the day, youmight ask yourself these three
questions, the first being wheredid I see God today?
I asked him to talk a littlebit about where he's seen God in
his life.
Tim Bonds (04:48):
I see God when I see his angels at work.
There are many in the world,many of them in this very room
today, and I can give you someexamples of that if you wish.
But that would be my shortanswer.
So let me give a very personalexample.
I mentioned that Nancy and Iand our kids moved here in 1993.
Our oldest was three years oldat the time and we thought she
(05:09):
was doing a great job with thetransition Big move.
She was born and grown up in StLouis.
We were moving here, but sheseemed to feel it was a great
adventure until we moved intoour house.
For some reason, we moved in,her furniture was in her room
and she didn't want to come out.
So we walked in there to findout was something the matter?
And she told us a story about alittle girl that was all alone
(05:32):
and her only friends were herlamp and her dresser.
And so we thought you know,maybe the move has been harder
on her than we thought it wouldhave been.
Pastor Darren (05:39):
Yeah, that hurts the heart turns out.
Tim Bonds (05:40):
The very next day was Sunday.
We came here our first time.
There was a church event thatnight and one of the other
little girls, just a few yearsolder than Stephanie, took her
by the hand and said would youlike to play?
And the answer was, of courseshe did, and she beamed, she
brightened up and from then onshe felt like she had a home,
she had family, she had friends,she belonged somewhere, and it
(06:01):
changed everything.
So a small thing, but somethingas a father that really touched
my heart, and I can say thatmany other times in my life.
The most personal examples ofwhat you ask when I see God's
work present in the world hasbeen when someone's reached out
to my family, to one of mychildren, and made them feel
worthwhile, a part of something.
Pastor Darren (06:24):
Do you see it, I'm going to push just one more
time and then I'm going to go,darren, stop pushing, but one
more time in in your, in your uh, professional world.
You know, because that's I loveyour family, I got a family, I
got angels in my family, but I'mwondering, because it's such a
provocative place.
You got angels in my family,but I'm wondering because it's
(06:46):
such a provocative place.
You've lived in and I recognizemaybe it's a place where you
don't have a lot of freedom totalk, but is there somewhere
where you've had your heartwarmed by people in that
provocative place?
You know, in the rooms thatyou've been able to walk in.
Tim Bonds (07:04):
There have been many times in my professional life
when I've been really trying tohelp.
You know a client that's really, you know, having a difficult
challenge, a difficult problem.
There have been many times whenthere's been someone that's
really helped me and it's withno benefit to themselves.
They just thought, look, I'mgoing to pitch in.
I'll give one quick example,without naming names.
(07:29):
First time I had a reallysignificant leadership
opportunity challenge.
I was asked to take on aprogram director's job, which
for me was a big deal.
I mean, you had responsibilityfor a significant slice in that
case of the Air Force's workwith RAND.
It was a big challenge.
You had lots of people that'dbe working with you and for you,
all of whom were senior to me,and there was one particular
individual that offered to workclosely with me and said that,
(07:52):
hey look, whatever you need Ican help.
This is a person who had many,many different leadership
responsibilities that ranpreviously, all more senior than
the one I was asked to do,didn't really need that job, but
just volunteered to be helpful.
So that's one of those timeswhen you know it was help that
was undeserved on my part andreally, really helpful.
(08:14):
I'll give you one other onethough that touched my heart and
really, really helpful.
I'll give you one other one,though that touched my heart.
We were in 2008.
People may not remember, but itwas a time I was acting as the
leader of the Army ResearchDivision at Grand.
Then Wasn't yet the named vicepresident, the vice chief of
(08:35):
staff came to us and said heylook, I'm afraid the Army's
going to break.
We've got soldiers deployed for15 months.
They're then home for ninemonths.
When they're home, they're notreally home.
They're training, they'refixing equipment in the motor
pool, they're working long hours, they're going to the National
Training Center at Fort Irwin totrain up for their next
deployment.
Their families are complainingthey're home but not at home.
So I don't know what.
I don't know when I look at thenumbers.
Is there something you can doto help?
(08:57):
And the answer is well, there'salways something we can do to
help.
But during that process oflooking at what the real
stresses and strains on soldiersand families were, we met with
a lot of families, some that hadbeen terribly wounded in the
war, some that had had lovedones sons, husbands, fathers
killed in the war.
But meeting with them andhearing their stories and
(09:19):
hearing what was missing.
That could be maybe made alittle better for them.
That was one of those timeswhen I really felt sort of
energized and motivated toreally try harder to be helpful.
Pastor Darren (09:33):
Right, well, and to have the work you're doing
mean so much to people who areneeding, you know, a little dose
of goodness and a dose of hope.
All right, the second questionin this prayer practice that you
can do at the end of the day isto ask yourself where was God
difficult to see or felt distantfrom me this last day?
(09:56):
So I'll ask that question ofTim where in your life and in
your journey was God moredifficult to see and, again,
feeling distant from where Godis and the influence God has?
Tim Bonds (10:09):
On the world.
So the way you'd pose it to mewas when was God not present?
I guess so.
Pastor Darren (10:15):
Did I?
You did, because I don't havethat theology.
Tim Bonds (10:18):
I mean, I'm checking that email it might have been
what I heard rather than whatyou said, but but I think, I
think the response is the sameeither way.
Um, in all present, god isalways, that right, always
present, and that's my belief,matthew 28.
Uh, Jesus promises to be with usalways, even to the very end of
the age.
Um and john, psalm 13,.
Same kinds of message.
But I think where I've had anissue is when I haven't been
(10:42):
fully present or I haven't knownhow to be helpful in a
situation.
The first time I was profoundlyaffected by that was when my dad
was diagnosed with a veryaggressive form of cancer.
He did not have long to liveand so, you know, I was at a
loss for what to do.
I knew I couldn't change thecourse of the disease.
(11:03):
I could spend time with him.
I could listen to his stories.
I could spend time with my mom,my brothers and my sisters.
So that's what we did.
We spent as much time as wecould together during those last
few difficult months and weeksand days, just trying to be
present.
It turns out many years later,in this very sanctuary, Dr.
Nagel gave a sermon where therewas a young child sick in the
(11:26):
hospital, terminal illness, lastfew days or weeks of life, and
some seminarians came to visit,and so one of the things they
did was they drew some picturesto try to cheer the child up,
and one of the pictures Iremember Dr Nagel talking about
was, you know, one of theseminarians standing with a
shield like a superhero betweenthe disease and the child.
But the picture the childreached out to and took was a
(11:50):
picture of someone just holdinghis hand, just being with him.
And so it turns out I guessthat's what we were able to do
with my dad, and one of thereasons why I asked you as a
scripture to have the parable ofthe Good Samaritan was the
Samaritan in that momentcouldn't do very much to change
the underlying conflict betweenIsraelis and Samaritans.
(12:12):
The Samaritan in that momentcouldn't change the fact that it
was dangerous on the Jerusalemto Jericho Highway.
He couldn't change what thecrime statistics were there.
But what he could do is hecould stop and help.
And I think one of the messagesthere for me, the more I think
about that parable and reflecton it, is there's always
something you can do to behelpful, like the story with the
(12:35):
Army coming to ask us aboutwhat do we do for soldiers that
are having this terribly fast,rapid cycle of deployments and
short times at home before goingback again.
So that's what I'd offer.
If I could just offer one moreexample.
When our youngest child, whenit was very clear to Nancy and I
(12:56):
that she would struggle herwhole life, have a profound
struggle, doing things that mostof the rest of us find to be
simple or routine.
I was at a loss again.
Luckily for me, nancy had animmediate instinct of what to do
, and so we changed everything.
We changed our approach toparenting, we changed what our
(13:17):
priorities were, we changed ourwhole life plan and life goals,
and it's been helpful.
It's a way for us to be helpfuland it's been enriching to us.
And so I think again, lookingback at the parable of the Good
Samaritan, there's alwayssomething that one can do.
There's always some action onecan take.
It may cause some change, itmay need some reflection, but
(13:38):
there's always something one cando.
Pastor Darren (13:43):
Yeah, and how often do we, in those difficult
times or the times that Godfeels different, distant, we
more limit ourselves insteadWhere's God?
I'm going to sit still.
I'm going to sit still.
I'm going to be disappointed,I'm not going to stick my neck
out, when, in fact, what I hearyou saying and I think I agree
more often than not, the bestthing to do is something.
Tim Bonds (14:05):
That gets into your third question.
Pastor Darren (14:07):
Yeah, which we're going through well, all right.
So third question in thisprayer practice that again I
invite you to consider end ofthe day.
Good way to end the day is toask yourself what can I do to
have made God feel more present,or even be more present in
those times where God feltdistant?
Tim Bonds (14:29):
So just about 26 years ago, again in this very
sanctuary, there was aseminarian that gave a guest
sermon Boyd will remember thetitle of that sermon was the
Main Thing is to Keep the MainThing.
The Main Thing.
I think she cribbed a littlebit from Stephen Covey, but her
message was as Christians, whatis the main thing, what is it we
(14:49):
should be doing?
So I thought about that someand it took me back again to the
parable of the Good Samaritan.
You know most of my life, youknow, of course, the Samaritan,
an inspirational figure, someoneto emulate, to try to.
You know, take you know a realdemonstration of what should be
doing from.
But I started thinking more andmore about the Levite and the
(15:12):
priest because on any given dayI might lose track of what the
main thing is.
I think in Hollywood they callthis losing the plot right.
On any given day I'm likely tolose a plot a dozen times, two
more times on Sunday, I'm liableto lose a plot today.
But the question was, were theyactually just uncaring and
selfish or were they actuallymaybe even good people that just
(15:35):
on that day were not doing themain thing?
They weren't keeping sight ofthat.
So I can imagine the Levite.
I'm late to church.
I've got to sing the choir.
I need some brushing up on theanthem, so I need to make sure I
get there early for practice.
I can't stop.
I might miss the service.
The preacher's going to talk tome in front of the church.
I got to keep on going.
Luckily there's someone behindme that can take up this duty,
(15:58):
so it's possible if I'm in thatsituation I may lose the plot.
I might miss the main thingalso.
So I think that's one of thethings to remember.
And it strikes me alsointeresting in Luke, in the very
next set of verses, it's thestory of Martha and Mary.
Okay, martha's a good person.
She's hosting Jesus at herhouse.
(16:19):
She's busy trying to preparethings, trying to make sure it's
ready, trying to make surethere's a meal, and it's
probably not just Jesus, it'sprobably his disciples too.
Now, I don't know how thingswork at your house, but at my
house, when we have company,it's all hands on deck.
It's going to be at least a oneor two day thrash to make sure
things are perfect, but if itwere Jesus coming, we'd be
redecorating, we'd be remodeled.
(16:45):
I mean, this is going to be amajor effort.
And so, in this Martha'sthinking, jesus, can you ask
Mary to help me?
And Jesus' response is and Ilooked this up, okay, so I could
remember it.
But his response is Martha,martha, you're distracted by
many things.
Only one thing is importantMary's picked a better portion
and it shall not be taken fromher.
And so Martha a good persontrying to do the right things
probably usually doing exactlythe right things caring for
(17:08):
Jesus and his disciples if shecan lose the plot, I can lose
the plot.
So I think the important thingis to find a way to keep the
main thing, the main thing.
Pastor Darren (17:19):
Yeah, I like that , and good use of the scriptures
too.
I didn't want to disappoint,yeah Well, and those church
leaders as well.
In some ways they would have tobe concerned about what danger
they might be bringing back totheir flock, which is a mindset
a church leader mindset too ofcould I bring a sickness back In
(17:41):
a hygiene-oriented OldTestament existence?
That would be a problem.
Tim Bonds (17:47):
You're thinking about the priest.
He's on his way too.
It could be pledged Sunday.
I can't miss this.
Pastor Darren (17:52):
Sure, and then whoever went after this guy, you
know why not go after me too.
So there's a certain amount ofrisk you're taking on too, which
I appreciate, and Mary Martha,mary Martha is a good one too,
although I would argue sometimesthere's a time in the kitchen
and getting it ready and makingsure we've brought it together,
(18:14):
brought it to fruition, and thenthere's some time you've got to
sit and listen, you know, andyou've got to recognize where
you are with that.
Tim Bonds (18:20):
People still wanted to eat that day.
Pastor Darren (18:21):
Yeah, right, yeah , and people are different too,
anyway.
No well, I appreciate that,though, and hopefully it's
nourishing for you folks as well, as you consider your own
journey and your own trying tounderstand where God is and what
God is doing and how God isguiding you and how God is
(18:43):
nourishing you all the time.
Like we said, it sounds like weshare a theology.
God didn't go away.
Just sometimes God feelsfurther away, and that part of
our challenge is to be able tobring God back in some
significant ways, because thereality is, this world is a
(19:03):
broken place in many ways, andthere will be times where God is
feeling distant and looking forus to take some sort of risk,
you know, in order that God'slove might flourish in some
meaningful way.
So let me ask everyone someappreciation for Tim and for
(19:30):
sharing, and why don't we have aprayer and then we'll finish up
with our worship?
God, we are so grateful, we'regrateful for Tim and his journey
and his family and the waysthat he has navigated this life
to do his best to be exactly whoyou would have him be, and when
(19:50):
those times came where hestrayed from, that person have
him be, and when those timescame where he strayed from that
person.
He did his best to get back andto again become who you would
want him to be.
I thank him for that.
I thank him for thatvulnerability, because I know
the people in this room strugglein the same ways.
It is a lifelong journey tounderstand how we might be fully
(20:14):
who God wants us to be in allsituations, especially among the
difficulty of a world that canbe broken and can miss the mark
as far as being a loving entity.
So, god, help us on thatjourney.
Let us be guided, let us benourished, Let us all become
(20:37):
fully who you have alwaysintended us to be.
We pray in Jesus' name.
Amen, all right friends, thankyou.
Thank you, tim.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for sharing.
Well, a couple of months ago, when I was piecing
together, we had annualconference coming, that United
Methodist Conference once a year.
I thought that is a rough weekto put a sermon together with
time and everything.
So a couple of times what I'vedone is let people get to know
somebody who's walked in theirmidst in a deeper way.
(00:21):
Oftentimes it'll be somebodythey've known for years and
years, maybe even decades, andso I'm going to invite Tim Bonds
to come forward.
There.
He is hiding in the corner overhere and I know Tim has had an
interesting faith journey andnot only that, an interesting
(00:43):
guy as well.
Those of you who've been inBible study and other places
with him know that.
So here we'll sit down so wedon't look all tense.
I'm a little nervous, yeah, whyare they so tense?
So before we start, tim knowsthere's three questions I'm
asking.
Right, I'm going to add afourth.
Tim Bonds (01:07):
Do I get a lifeline?
Pastor Darren (01:09):
I knew enough to know.
Engineer, right, engineer, youadd something to the plan for an
engineer.
There's usually a cost andschedule impact.
So I'm going to invite you totake one minute and just give
the quick overview of your life.
You know, born here, you metyour lovely wife Nancy, the kind
(01:30):
of things you've done for aliving, your kids and maybe what
lands you here.
Tim Bonds (01:37):
So very quickly, in less than a minute.
Born and raised in Michigan,met my wife at the University of
Michigan.
We have some fellow alumni herein the room today.
We moved here.
We lived in St Louis for anumber of years, then we moved
here in 1993 and started withthis church right away.
So it's been 32 years.
(01:57):
Our three daughters grew up inthis church.
One of them is volunteeringright now in Sunday school there
you go.
Started work here at the Randright now in Sunday school,
there you go, and started workhere at the Rand Corporation
down in Santa Monica.
And that, in less than a minute, is about it, yeah.
Pastor Darren (02:12):
So I'm going to push just a touch.
What have you done with theRand Corporation?
Because I know it's provocativestuff you do.
Tim Bonds (02:20):
So many things Now, part of the reason why I'm
nervous today.
Pastor Darren, in your messageyou said that I'd had a
provocative life and I rememberone time in my past when I was
provocative, I think theprincipal called me down to the
office.
So we were wondering exactlywhat would be in the interview.
Today, larry, when we werekicking around the choir loft
(02:41):
before this service said thatwell, maybe it's an exit
interview.
So, without quite knowing whatto expect At the Rand
Corporation, most of my workthere has been trying to help
the Department of Defense makebetter decisions, and that could
be about personnel policy, thatcould be in acquisition of new
(03:02):
technologies, that could be insome of their strategies and
some of their other policies.
Worked a long time 10 years withthe Air Force and then another
10 years with the Army.
I was a program director andran Project Air Force, working
with one of my colleagues inchurch here today, and then I
(03:22):
was a vice president of the ArmyResearch Division.
Now I'm a senior fellow, whichI think means I used to run
something but no longer do.
Pastor Darren (03:31):
But you've been in some significant rooms too.
You've been in the room whereit happened every now and again,
Every now and then.
Yeah, which you know.
Tim Bonds (03:38):
Kudos to you, you know, to have done something and
done it in a way that gets youyou where, where what you have
is is coveted by importantpeople these are just
opportunities to serve really,and so the the any kudos would
be only if the team that Irepresented and was the front
person for several times in mycareer if they provided
something of value.
(03:58):
So if there was value, therewas a whole room full of people
that did it.
If there was an error made,then it was usually my error
alone.
Pastor Darren (04:08):
All right, Now you can relax.
We're going to go to the threequestions I told you I was going
to ask so that he could preparefor them.
So my first question and thisis actually part of a prayer
practice, a spiritual discipline, if you are interested in doing
it.
It's kind of a Lectio, kind ofunderstanding a little bit, I
(04:30):
guess.
But at the end of the day, youmight ask yourself these three
questions, the first being wheredid I see God today?
I asked him to talk a littlebit about where he's seen God in
his life.
Tim Bonds (04:48):
I see God when I see his angels at work.
There are many in the world,many of them in this very room
today, and I can give you someexamples of that if you wish.
But that would be my shortanswer.
So let me give a very personalexample.
I mentioned that Nancy and Iand our kids moved here in 1993.
Our oldest was three years oldat the time and we thought she
(05:09):
was doing a great job with thetransition Big move.
She was born and grown up in StLouis.
We were moving here, but sheseemed to feel it was a great
adventure until we moved intoour house.
For some reason, we moved in,her furniture was in her room
and she didn't want to come out.
So we walked in there to findout was something the matter?
And she told us a story about alittle girl that was all alone
(05:32):
and her only friends were herlamp and her dresser.
And so we thought you know,maybe the move has been harder
on her than we thought it wouldhave been.
Pastor Darren (05:39):
Yeah, that hurts the heart turns out.
Tim Bonds (05:40):
The very next day was Sunday.
We came here our first time.
There was a church event thatnight and one of the other
little girls, just a few yearsolder than Stephanie, took her
by the hand and said would youlike to play?
And the answer was, of courseshe did, and she beamed, she
brightened up and from then onshe felt like she had a home,
she had family, she had friends,she belonged somewhere, and it
(06:01):
changed everything.
So a small thing, but somethingas a father that really touched
my heart, and I can say thatmany other times in my life.
The most personal examples ofwhat you ask when I see God's
work present in the world hasbeen when someone's reached out
to my family, to one of mychildren, and made them feel
worthwhile, a part of something.
Pastor Darren (06:24):
Do you see it, I'm going to push just one more
time and then I'm going to go,darren, stop pushing, but one
more time in in your, in your uh, professional world.
You know, because that's I loveyour family, I got a family, I
got angels in my family, but I'mwondering, because it's such a
provocative place.
You got angels in my family,but I'm wondering because it's
(06:46):
such a provocative place.
You've lived in and I recognizemaybe it's a place where you
don't have a lot of freedom totalk, but is there somewhere
where you've had your heartwarmed by people in that
provocative place?
You know, in the rooms thatyou've been able to walk in.
Tim Bonds (07:04):
There have been many times in my professional life
when I've been really trying tohelp.
You know a client that's really, you know, having a difficult
challenge, a difficult problem.
There have been many times whenthere's been someone that's
really helped me and it's withno benefit to themselves.
They just thought, look, I'mgoing to pitch in.
I'll give one quick example,without naming names.
(07:29):
First time I had a reallysignificant leadership
opportunity challenge.
I was asked to take on aprogram director's job, which
for me was a big deal.
I mean, you had responsibilityfor a significant slice in that
case of the Air Force's workwith RAND.
It was a big challenge.
You had lots of people that'dbe working with you and for you,
all of whom were senior to me,and there was one particular
individual that offered to workclosely with me and said that,
(07:52):
hey look, whatever you need Ican help.
This is a person who had many,many different leadership
responsibilities that ranpreviously, all more senior than
the one I was asked to do,didn't really need that job, but
just volunteered to be helpful.
So that's one of those timeswhen you know it was help that
was undeserved on my part andreally, really helpful.
(08:14):
I'll give you one other onethough that touched my heart and
really, really helpful.
I'll give you one other one,though that touched my heart.
We were in 2008.
People may not remember, but itwas a time I was acting as the
leader of the Army ResearchDivision at Grand.
Then Wasn't yet the named vicepresident, the vice chief of
(08:35):
staff came to us and said heylook, I'm afraid the Army's
going to break.
We've got soldiers deployed for15 months.
They're then home for ninemonths.
When they're home, they're notreally home.
They're training, they'refixing equipment in the motor
pool, they're working long hours, they're going to the National
Training Center at Fort Irwin totrain up for their next
deployment.
Their families are complainingthey're home but not at home.
So I don't know what.
I don't know when I look at thenumbers.
Is there something you can doto help?
(08:57):
And the answer is well, there'salways something we can do to
help.
But during that process oflooking at what the real
stresses and strains on soldiersand families were, we met with
a lot of families, some that hadbeen terribly wounded in the
war, some that had had lovedones sons, husbands, fathers
killed in the war.
But meeting with them andhearing their stories and
(09:19):
hearing what was missing.
That could be maybe made alittle better for them.
That was one of those timeswhen I really felt sort of
energized and motivated toreally try harder to be helpful.
Pastor Darren (09:33):
Right, well, and to have the work you're doing
mean so much to people who areneeding, you know, a little dose
of goodness and a dose of hope.
All right, the second questionin this prayer practice that you
can do at the end of the day isto ask yourself where was God
difficult to see or felt distantfrom me this last day?
(09:56):
So I'll ask that question ofTim where in your life and in
your journey was God moredifficult to see and, again,
feeling distant from where Godis and the influence God has?
Tim Bonds (10:09):
On the world.
So the way you'd pose it to mewas when was God not present?
I guess so.
Pastor Darren (10:15):
Did I?
You did, because I don't havethat theology.
Tim Bonds (10:18):
I mean, I'm checking that email it might have been
what I heard rather than whatyou said, but but I think, I
think the response is the sameeither way.
Um, in all present, god isalways, that right, always
present, and that's my belief,matthew 28.
Uh, Jesus promises to be with usalways, even to the very end of
the age.
Um and john, psalm 13,.
Same kinds of message.
But I think where I've had anissue is when I haven't been
(10:42):
fully present or I haven't knownhow to be helpful in a
situation.
The first time I was profoundlyaffected by that was when my dad
was diagnosed with a veryaggressive form of cancer.
He did not have long to liveand so, you know, I was at a
loss for what to do.
I knew I couldn't change thecourse of the disease.
(11:03):
I could spend time with him.
I could listen to his stories.
I could spend time with my mom,my brothers and my sisters.
So that's what we did.
We spent as much time as wecould together during those last
few difficult months and weeksand days, just trying to be
present.
It turns out many years later,in this very sanctuary, Dr.
Nagel gave a sermon where therewas a young child sick in the
(11:26):
hospital, terminal illness, lastfew days or weeks of life, and
some seminarians came to visit,and so one of the things they
did was they drew some picturesto try to cheer the child up,
and one of the pictures Iremember Dr Nagel talking about
was, you know, one of theseminarians standing with a
shield like a superhero betweenthe disease and the child.
But the picture the childreached out to and took was a
(11:50):
picture of someone just holdinghis hand, just being with him.
And so it turns out I guessthat's what we were able to do
with my dad, and one of thereasons why I asked you as a
scripture to have the parable ofthe Good Samaritan was the
Samaritan in that momentcouldn't do very much to change
the underlying conflict betweenIsraelis and Samaritans.
(12:12):
The Samaritan in that momentcouldn't change the fact that it
was dangerous on the Jerusalemto Jericho Highway.
He couldn't change what thecrime statistics were there.
But what he could do is hecould stop and help.
And I think one of the messagesthere for me, the more I think
about that parable and reflecton it, is there's always
something you can do to behelpful, like the story with the
(12:35):
Army coming to ask us aboutwhat do we do for soldiers that
are having this terribly fast,rapid cycle of deployments and
short times at home before goingback again.
So that's what I'd offer.
If I could just offer one moreexample.
When our youngest child, whenit was very clear to Nancy and I
(12:56):
that she would struggle herwhole life, have a profound
struggle, doing things that mostof the rest of us find to be
simple or routine.
I was at a loss again.
Luckily for me, nancy had animmediate instinct of what to do
, and so we changed everything.
We changed our approach toparenting, we changed what our
(13:17):
priorities were, we changed ourwhole life plan and life goals,
and it's been helpful.
It's a way for us to be helpfuland it's been enriching to us.
And so I think again, lookingback at the parable of the Good
Samaritan, there's alwayssomething that one can do.
There's always some action onecan take.
It may cause some change, itmay need some reflection, but
(13:38):
there's always something one cando.
Pastor Darren (13:43):
Yeah, and how often do we, in those difficult
times or the times that Godfeels different, distant, we
more limit ourselves insteadWhere's God?
I'm going to sit still.
I'm going to sit still.
I'm going to be disappointed,I'm not going to stick my neck
out, when, in fact, what I hearyou saying and I think I agree
more often than not, the bestthing to do is something.
Tim Bonds (14:05):
That gets into your third question.
Pastor Darren (14:07):
Yeah, which we're going through well, all right.
So third question in thisprayer practice that again I
invite you to consider end ofthe day.
Good way to end the day is toask yourself what can I do to
have made God feel more present,or even be more present in
those times where God feltdistant?
Tim Bonds (14:29):
So just about 26 years ago, again in this very
sanctuary, there was aseminarian that gave a guest
sermon Boyd will remember thetitle of that sermon was the
Main Thing is to Keep the MainThing.
The Main Thing.
I think she cribbed a littlebit from Stephen Covey, but her
message was as Christians, whatis the main thing, what is it we
(14:49):
should be doing?
So I thought about that someand it took me back again to the
parable of the Good Samaritan.
You know most of my life, youknow, of course, the Samaritan,
an inspirational figure, someoneto emulate, to try to.
You know, take you know a realdemonstration of what should be
doing from.
But I started thinking more andmore about the Levite and the
(15:12):
priest because on any given dayI might lose track of what the
main thing is.
I think in Hollywood they callthis losing the plot right.
On any given day I'm likely tolose a plot a dozen times, two
more times on Sunday, I'm liableto lose a plot today.
But the question was, were theyactually just uncaring and
selfish or were they actuallymaybe even good people that just
(15:35):
on that day were not doing themain thing?
They weren't keeping sight ofthat.
So I can imagine the Levite.
I'm late to church.
I've got to sing the choir.
I need some brushing up on theanthem, so I need to make sure I
get there early for practice.
I can't stop.
I might miss the service.
The preacher's going to talk tome in front of the church.
I got to keep on going.
Luckily there's someone behindme that can take up this duty,
(15:58):
so it's possible if I'm in thatsituation I may lose the plot.
I might miss the main thingalso.
So I think that's one of thethings to remember.
And it strikes me alsointeresting in Luke, in the very
next set of verses, it's thestory of Martha and Mary.
Okay, martha's a good person.
She's hosting Jesus at herhouse.
(16:19):
She's busy trying to preparethings, trying to make sure it's
ready, trying to make surethere's a meal, and it's
probably not just Jesus, it'sprobably his disciples too.
Now, I don't know how thingswork at your house, but at my
house, when we have company,it's all hands on deck.
It's going to be at least a oneor two day thrash to make sure
things are perfect, but if itwere Jesus coming, we'd be
redecorating, we'd be remodeled.
(16:45):
I mean, this is going to be amajor effort.
And so, in this Martha'sthinking, jesus, can you ask
Mary to help me?
And Jesus' response is and Ilooked this up, okay, so I could
remember it.
But his response is Martha,martha, you're distracted by
many things.
Only one thing is importantMary's picked a better portion
and it shall not be taken fromher.
And so Martha a good persontrying to do the right things
probably usually doing exactlythe right things caring for
(17:08):
Jesus and his disciples if shecan lose the plot, I can lose
the plot.
So I think the important thingis to find a way to keep the
main thing, the main thing.
Pastor Darren (17:19):
Yeah, I like that , and good use of the scriptures
too.
I didn't want to disappoint,yeah Well, and those church
leaders as well.
In some ways they would have tobe concerned about what danger
they might be bringing back totheir flock, which is a mindset
a church leader mindset too ofcould I bring a sickness back In
(17:41):
a hygiene-oriented OldTestament existence?
That would be a problem.
Tim Bonds (17:47):
You're thinking about the priest.
He's on his way too.
It could be pledged Sunday.
I can't miss this.
Pastor Darren (17:52):
Sure, and then whoever went after this guy, you
know why not go after me too.
So there's a certain amount ofrisk you're taking on too, which
I appreciate, and Mary Martha,mary Martha is a good one too,
although I would argue sometimesthere's a time in the kitchen
and getting it ready and makingsure we've brought it together,
(18:14):
brought it to fruition, and thenthere's some time you've got to
sit and listen, you know, andyou've got to recognize where
you are with that.
Tim Bonds (18:20):
People still wanted to eat that day.
Pastor Darren (18:21):
Yeah, right, yeah , and people are different too,
anyway.
No well, I appreciate that,though, and hopefully it's
nourishing for you folks as well, as you consider your own
journey and your own trying tounderstand where God is and what
God is doing and how God isguiding you and how God is
(18:43):
nourishing you all the time.
Like we said, it sounds like weshare a theology.
God didn't go away.
Just sometimes God feelsfurther away, and that part of
our challenge is to be able tobring God back in some
significant ways, because thereality is, this world is a
(19:03):
broken place in many ways, andthere will be times where God is
feeling distant and looking forus to take some sort of risk,
you know, in order that God'slove might flourish in some
meaningful way.
So let me ask everyone someappreciation for Tim and for
(19:30):
sharing, and why don't we have aprayer and then we'll finish up
with our worship?
God, we are so grateful, we'regrateful for Tim and his journey
and his family and the waysthat he has navigated this life
to do his best to be exactly whoyou would have him be, and when
(19:50):
those times came where hestrayed from, that person have
him be, and when those timescame where he strayed from that
person.
He did his best to get back andto again become who you would
want him to be.
I thank him for that.
I thank him for thatvulnerability, because I know
the people in this room strugglein the same ways.
It is a lifelong journey tounderstand how we might be fully
(20:14):
who God wants us to be in allsituations, especially among the
difficulty of a world that canbe broken and can miss the mark
as far as being a loving entity.
So, god, help us on thatjourney.
Let us be guided, let us benourished, Let us all become
(20:37):
fully who you have alwaysintended us to be.
We pray in Jesus' name.
Amen, all right friends, thankyou.
Thank you, tim.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for sharing.
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