December 8, 2024 • 45 mins
What happens when unexpected acts of kindness force you to confront your deepest fears? Dave Murphy shares his riveting story of surviving a brutal attack in 1994 that left him with PTSD, reshaping his life in unforeseen ways. As he navigates the thorny landscape of trauma, mental health, and recovery, Dave unveils how a moment of compassion from those who resembled his assailants became a turning point. Listen as he recounts his transformative journey, from grappling with alcohol and weight gain to finding healing after the birth of his daughter.
The unexpected creation of a children's book, which resulted from he and his daughter completing their first 5K races. Their journey underscores the profound impact of community, humor, and perseverance, especially when overcoming life's hurdles.
The episode also examines the multifaceted path of healing through boxing, mental health advocacy, and the uplifting power of connection. From a man's weight loss journey and the solace found in boxing to critical discussions on Canada's medical assistance in dying program, we unravel the complexities of trauma and healing. Encouraging open conversations about mental health, particularly for men, the narrative champions vulnerability as a strength. By sharing stories of personal challenges and resilience, we aim to foster a supportive community, celebrating the courage to seek help and the transformative power of empathy.
Get the facts on MAID | Dying With Dignity Canada
In The Heart Of The Forest: Murphy, Dave, Davidson, Jennifer: 9781998568086: Books - Amazon.ca
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AV7JBf3na/
Man driven to shed over 170 pounds after disappointing 4-year-old daughter: 'Now she's smiling all the time' | Fox News
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4
Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.
Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.
Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
This podcast is not intended to serve as therapeutic
advice or to replace anyprofessional treatment.
These opinions belong to us anddo not reflect any company or
agency.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the United States of PTSD.
Today I have a special guest,david Murphy, or Dave, do you
prefer, dave or David, dave?
Dave Murphy, dave is the authorof two books that I'm going to
have him tell you about, and hehas gone through a personal
tragedy that actually is how hegot to the point of writing
(00:51):
those books.
So, dave, I'm going to let youjust kind of take over.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Sure.
So I guess my story starts in1994.
I was walking near a mall inOttawa and I got approached by
three guys who have ended upattacking me and of course back
then I wasn't a boxer.
I didn't know how to defendmyself and I thought I did, but
I started to walk away.
They took off and then I passedout to the ground and I was
(01:21):
stabbed 13 times two prettysevere ones in my leg that tore
half the muscle.
Nine times in my back I had apunctured lung, I had one wound,
miss my heart by an inch andI'm pretty lucky to be here.
So for about 25 years I didn'tknow how to deal with PTSD.
(01:44):
I didn't even know I had PTSD,I just couldn't sleep.
I used to go out drinking bythe pitcher maybe four to six
nights a week and I'd just getobliterated.
That's basically what you calla sad clown.
All my friends would oh man,you're so funny, you're just
doing all the stupid things ofkaraoke.
(02:04):
It was just an escape for mebecause I didn't know how to
deal with.
All my friends would oh man,you're so funny, you're like
just doing all the stupid thingsof karaoke.
And you know it was.
It was just an escape roombecause I didn't know how to
deal with all this anxiety andnot being able to sleep.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And which is totally understandable.
I mean, that's a that's a major, major incident.
What did you have?
A support network rightafterwards.
What did that look like afterthe, after the attack?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I didn't really have anything because I just I was
really good at faking a smileand everyone just thought I was
perfectly okay.
I mean, when I saw anyone thatlooked like the guys that did
that to me, I mean they werefrom, they're from Somalia, I'm
okay saying that.
But whenever I would see anyonethat from there that looked
like them, i'd'd have to get offpublic transit or I'd cross the
(02:47):
street because I didn't want towalk past them.
And my first big wake-up callwas when my ex-wife was eight
months pregnant.
We were moving into afourth-floor apartment building
and I was doing it by myself,just one box at a time building.
And I was doing it by myself,just one box at a time.
And the guys that live below us,there were three Somalian guys
(03:12):
and they start walking towardsme and I'm like, oh God, here we
go again.
They're going to, they're goingto beat the crap out of me.
And the guy was like hey, doyou want some help?
So him, he called in.
There were six of them.
He called in six of his friendsand they helped me for an hour
and that was my first big wakeup call.
You know, it's like everybody'snot like this and it was.
I told this story before andsomeone was like oh man, that's
so racist.
(03:32):
I'm like no man, you don't.
You don't get what it's like inyour head.
Like to me, it wouldn't matterif they were, you know, they're
Irish, or they all had red hair.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It was the same thing to me.
Anyone that looked like thoseguys, I thought they were going
to attack me, and that's a verycommon response.
I mean, if you think about avictim of a sex crime, for
example, when a woman is rapedby a man, there's a certain
amount of normalcy afterwardsabout being afraid of men just
in general, or men that looklike the attacker.
So it's certainly not a raciststatement, it's a trauma-based
statement.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Exactly, and then when my daughter was born in
2014, that's when I first wentand got some professional help.
I tried that for three sessions.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
What was the gap between that point and when the
actual incident happened, likehow many years have passed 1994
to 2014.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So 30 years 30 years Were.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They were the.
Were the perpetrators everapprehended?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, they were.
They got a slap in the wristbecause they're all under 18.
I was 17 when this happened, soI think they did some community
service.
I didn't want to attend thecourt case, so it was.
Charges were down fromattempted murder to aggravated
assault and then they basicallygot like a six-month you know go
(04:55):
pick up garbage on the highway,kind of thing.
Wow, I'm sorry, dave, no, it's.
You know what, when I look backat it now, I mean it made me
move out west where I met thelady that will actually give you
my daughter.
So it's I look back on it andall the things I've done.
Like I ran a charity for from2007 to 2014,.
(05:16):
We used to send over carepackages to the military over in
Afghanistan and cause I just Iwas just trying to pay it back
forward and it started with Ijust used to deliver cans of
coffee to like fire halls, juststuff to try and keep my mind
busy, and at one point that pagehad 4.1 million members, so
(05:37):
that kept me really busy, wowyeah and uh I actually met a guy
because I don't know if you'veheard of tim hortons, but it's a
pretty big coffee franchisehere in canada yeah, we have
them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think they're more common in the south here, but we
have them yeah, so they openedup a.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
They opened up a tim hortons in the back of a semi
truck and brought it overafghanistan for our soldiers and
put on the base.
So what we did?
They had these little papercertificates were like two
dollars, so people would justwrite a little message of
support on them.
I had an address from amilitary center in Toronto so
they'd send them there directly.
But in the first year we sent$100,000 worth of free coffee
(06:17):
and then they had so much thatthey shared with the US guys and
the British guys and got themall hooked on it.
So I got an and the Britishguys and got them all hooked on
it.
So I got an email from a USMarine.
Just like thanks for getting mehooked on Tim Horton's coffee.
You SOB, I put on like right,Like all my guys have put on
like wait from donuts and coffee.
(06:37):
But he actually they flew a flagfor me over and it was in Teji,
iraq.
So I have a US flag framed onmy mantle downstairs and then
when people come visit me likeman, you're canadian, why the
heck do you have a us flag?
Like that's so stupid.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And then I tell them the story and they're like wow,
now I feel stupid, but yourability to take something that
was very tragic and turn it intosomething very selfless but
helping other people, is reallyit's admirable, was there.
Do you have a militarybackground?
Is that what made you pick themilitary, or was like a family?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
no, I mean, I always wanted to join it and then, with
losing half my muscle, my leg,and you know I wasn't I never
would have passed basic trainingwith that, but I just had so
many close friends that served.
And then this little coffeething took off and then we did a
.
I did a video series called thegratitude project on YouTube,
(07:30):
where people would just holdthank you signs.
And I wake up and check myinbox and here's Gene Simmons
and his wife, shannon, holdingthe thank you sign and a salute.
So they I had enough to make 14YouTube videos that were about
6 minutes long each and justlike bands, like Trooper and
like all these Canadian bands.
(07:50):
But it was funny because thenShannon Tweed, gene Simmons'
wife, messaged me like, hey,we're coming to Calgary.
Do you want to bring someveterans to the concert?
So I'm like, yeah, I'm like myold 80s hard rock mullet wearing
.
I'm like, are you kidding me?
Like do I get to be the host?
(08:11):
So they gave me eight, eightfront row tickets to bring
veterans.
I got to go back meet the bandand then every time they came to
calgary they'd be like, howmany tickets do you need?
And because they reposted mystuff on.
Well, what was twitter backthen?
All like my favorite 80s hardrock bands and they had all
followed me.
(08:31):
And then they come to town like, hey, you want to bring some
veterans.
I'm like, yeah, so like motleycrew, judas, priest meganeth um,
my daughter's favorite bandsplashing boots, there's like a
children's entertainers.
They gave us tickets, uh-huh,um, it's just all the crazy
things that have happened fromthis.
You know it was a horribleincident, but it's.
(08:52):
It's changed my life and allthe things that are happening
now are just.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
You've clearly made a big impact in the lives of
other people.
That's for certain that you hadmentioned.
You got that letter from the,the soldier who said thank you
for tim hortons.
You know, because we've allgained weight.
I think part of your journeywas there was weight gain as a
result of the tragedy as well,right?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
well, I was on a couch for six months.
Basically I had to learn how towalk again and I was only 18
years old, and so I put on a lotof weight then and and then
when I started drinking andeating pub food every night, my
heaviest I was 392 pounds.
So when my daughter was born Iquit the binge drinking.
(09:37):
I'd still go out once a week,but it wasn't an escape.
And when she was four, we're ata little, we're at a playground
and she's like dad, dad, let'srace home.
She's like four and a half andI'm like, oh, sweetie.
I said you know, dad can't run.
And her little face, thatdisappointment, little fire in
(09:58):
me, like nothing.
So I went online on my Facebookand I said, hey, you guys
Nothing.
So I went online on my Facebookand I said, hey, you guys, I'm
going to drop 100 pounds thisyear and I'm going to donate a
dollar, a pound, to my favoritecharity, which is it's called
Camp Praxis.
They're a horse therapy programfor veterans and first
responders with PTSD, here injust about two hours away from
(10:20):
me.
So I hit that goal in a year.
14 people matched me, so myone100 turned into $1,400.
Somebody saw that, matched thatand then a horse competition
business saw it and they justupped my donation to $22,000.
That's amazing.
(10:41):
So from $1 a pound it turnedinto almost 25 grand directly to
them.
Again.
I had nothing coming to medirectly, but yeah so then, one
of my best friends he's aBaptist pastor in town, name is
Joseph he signed me and mydaughter up to do a 5K run, and
(11:03):
I was so nervous because I'venever ran since this all
happened was.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This was after you lost the weight, correct yeah,
this was after I dropped 170pounds in total.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Okay, um, so I'm sitting about 240.
Right now.
I don't really weigh myselfanymore, it's just how close
fits.
And so we did our fivekilometer race, and I don't
remember why, but my daughterwas like, dad, we should write a
book about this.
So that was my first children'sbook I launched about a year
and a half ago and it's justcalled the great race, my daddy
(11:35):
and me, and it's.
I found a.
I live in a town of 3000 peopleand I found an illustrator who
lives across the street from me.
She's 15 years old and she'ssaving up for art college.
I'm like well, why don't we dothis?
So she drew the pictures of us.
She was very kind in the in thehair department to me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
She gave me a full head of hair my, my pastor
friend is in this book.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He's about five foot four, but she made him taller
than me and I've never heard theend of it.
Um, but yeah, so that one, thatone did pretty good.
I mean, I met a.
I'll tell you a funny storyabout this book, because I get
an email from a U S Navy veteranwho was 487 pounds and he had
two twin daughters who were fiveyears old.
(12:20):
And his doctor looked at himand said do you want someone
else raising your girls?
And so he lost he's lost over200 pounds.
And on the same day that mydaughter and I did our 5k, he
did his first 5k with his twodaughters and we never even knew
.
This is amazing, texas, but himand I become really close
(12:44):
friends, like you know.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You still have your moments when you need some
inspiration.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'll go look at his posts and I was like, okay, I
need to get my butt back in gearCause I haven't worked out in a
week and it's the same thing.
But him and I are like we'venever met in person but we're
like like two best friendsbecause our stories are so
identical and then so that bookhas been about a year, took a
(13:09):
year to sell 100, which is, I'mnot worried about numbers, but
the parents I've talked to thatI've like started to change
their lives and you know it'smuch more than numbers.
I mean, it was the number onebestseller for a week and then,
my kids sell them.
She's like oh my god, dad,you're like Taylor Swift, I'm
like yeah, but I'm only in thetop 10 for a week.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
She's been in it for like three years even though I
don't know you well, havingtalked to you just for a couple
minutes before we started this,and you know through messenger,
it's clear that you're you'rereally about getting the message
out and helping people, notabout profiting, and you know
being number one.
So, and even if you did help,you know five 600 people.
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Well, and you know what do like any of the small
royalties I get for that book Isplit between my daughters and
our 15 year old illustratorseducation fund, so it's I've
been able to send a couple ofhundred dollars to each of that
in a year.
So I mean that's not likeStephen King numbers or anything
, but again it's I'm not worriedabout that it's the level of
impact right.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I mean you're, you're probably changing people's
lives.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, and I just love talking to people that have
made changes because of it, andso that book, um, that did
pretty well.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And then, well, I'm curious, what was it like for
you to go from kind of I thinkthere's actually an app called
couch to 5k but what was it likefor you to do that, to go from
not exercising to doing a 5k?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Well, I mean I had done, I used to do five boxing
circuits a week that were 90minutes long.
Wow, that's how I, like, Istill eat, like I'm never giving
up my steak and potatoes, I'mall I do, is I the size of my
plate, I cut down the meat orcut down the potatoes, double up
the meat and the vegetables andthat's about it.
But I mean going from that todoing a 5k.
(14:58):
Well, it took us 40, 42 minutes, which is not bad, I think.
Uh, walking used to take me 90minutes, but she beat me by.
She beat me by three hundredthsof a second.
I will never hear the end ofthat.
She still talks about it I did.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
When I turned 40, I did a 5k.
That was also and I am not anexercise fanatic well, at least
cardio.
I should say I'm not a cardioperson, and it was they.
It was part obstacle course aswell, yeah, and I remember it
was grueling.
I don't think I I ended upwalking the last part of it
because it was just so much yeah, we do.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
We'd walk for a minute and then run for a minute
.
That was how run until we got abreath and then run for a
minute.
That was how run until we gotour breath, and then we just
stop and just just walk.
I'd eventually like to run afull one from start to finish,
but sounds like you had fun,though, right like you, it was
like a bonding time and then,because all the professional
racers were all finished, sothey were lined up for the last
(16:00):
kilometer, cheering on the slowpeople and, um man, all I can
remember is this guy saying comeon don't let your dad beat you.
And she's like, oh no, and it,it made it we ran like the whole
last kilometer which was, youknow, five years ago.
I couldn't walk a kilometerwithout leg cramps, so it was
pretty emotional when we got tothat line and they put the
(16:22):
medals on us and, yeah, I'llnever forget it and I would
imagine that at that point too,because you had talked about
struggling with alcohol, you hadbeen sober at that point,
correct?
um, yeah, I've actually theydon't call like I haven't been
drunk.
I used to get drunk on mybirthdays once a year.
That was my thing.
Um, the last time that happenedwas two years ago in august.
(16:43):
Um, so I don't like saying I'mcompletely sober because I have
had like one beer here.
Sure, you know a couple offriends, I'll have one one drink
.
Just it's not an escape anymore, it's just a social thing.
Um, but I can go out and haveone and then stop, but so I mean
it's a great line.
I never say, oh, I've beensober 600 days.
(17:04):
Like you see, people postbecause technically in my mind
I'm in because I haven't beendrunk in two and a half years.
But I don't post forjustification or for anyone else
like it's, you know it's, it'sfor me, so I don't do those kind
of things and how?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
how long did you go through the period of?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
go through the period of problematic drinking.
I would say probably from theage of 20 to about 45.
20 to 45.
Um, I have my, one of my, oneof my greatest friends.
She's four foot six, maybe,maybe 448, and I'd never seen
her mad in my life and we usedto go to karaoke together.
This woman had the voice of anangel and one night I was
sitting down at a pub.
This is at 1.30 in the morning.
(17:48):
It's the last call and I don'tknow if they have, like you know
, the video gambling machineswhere you hit the buttons and
stuff.
Yeah yep Okay.
So I was playing one of thosefor 45 minutes without putting
in a cent and I was so mad atthis game I'm like yelling and
cursing at it.
She came over with a pot ofcoffee, two cups, and she sat me
(18:10):
down in a booth with the coffee.
I won't swear.
But she said if you don'tsmarten the F up, you're not
going to see 50.
And I was like, wow, you're theonly person that's ever seen
through my sad clown it was.
And so then, on my birthday twoyears ago, which was the last
(18:33):
night I was ever drunk, maybemight be three years ago, sorry
the dates, but she passed awayon my birthday she had a heart
attack.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
God, I know, Because to me that was my sign right
there and I never, ever go backto that.
Like this little lady who I'venever seen, with a smile on her
face, I saw anger and she waslike man, if you don't, and I
talked to her husband all thetime Like man, she was an earth
angel.
Like she was my final wake upcall to totally give up the, the
(19:04):
getting drunk Right.
So now, on her birthday,instead of drinking I just I'll
put on a few of her songs andjust I'll be like on my mind.
I'll be like thank you becauseyou probably saved my life
because I was heading down a badroad.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It was almost like foreshadowing with the message
that she gave you and actuallythis august I turned 50, so on
my birthday.
So me too wait this the waitthis past august or this coming
august?
This coming august I'll be 50years old.
Oh I'm, I turned 50 last august, although I keep telling
(19:40):
everybody I'm still 35, butwhatever, and then the second
book you wrote.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
The second book was also related to the incident.
Yeah, well, I wanted to.
I was sitting down and I wastrying to think of a way to help
people, and it was on the WorldSuicide Awareness Day.
So I put a post on Twitterbecause I never shared this
story online.
But in 2010, I had come homefrom a night of binge drinking.
It was 2 o'clock in the morning.
(20:11):
I lived on the 14th floor of abuilding in downtown Calgary and
I was just standing on mybalcony and I don't know if I
was ever considering jumping offit.
But I thought to myself wouldanyone even give a crap if I
leaped off here?
And so, yeah, I shared thatonline and one of my guys his
(20:31):
name is Michael Landsberg, he'sa pretty big in Canada for
mental health advocacy Cause Iposted that as I'm sharing this
moment of weakness, and he saidto me man, that's the biggest
moment of strength you're evergoing to have.
Don't look at it as sharing aweakness.
Cause, yeah, like the peoplethat saw that post and that
(20:54):
reposted it and just sharingtheir stories, it was crazy.
So I'm like I got to think of away I can help people with PTSD
.
So I wrote a second children'sbook about this little fox who
gets attacked by coyotes whichis me with the guys.
So every time he walks throughthe forest he's jumpy with the
(21:14):
guys.
So every time he walks throughthe forest he's jumpy.
If he hears a noise he'll gothe other way, or if he sees
coyotes over here he'll take thelong way around.
And then he meets an owl who isone of my best military friends
ever.
He said to me once just becausethe pass taps you on the
shoulder doesn't mean you haveto turn around and look.
So this owl says this to thecoyote and gives him his own
(21:41):
wake-up call.
So this might be a bit of aspoiler if anyone plans on
getting it.
But the coyote gets stuck, orthe fox gets stuck in a fox trap
, so he's helpless in the middleof the forest, which is kind of
me doing the moving thing, andthen those guys come up and ask
me if I need help.
Well, this coyote frees himfrom the trap.
(22:01):
So it's kind of basically mylife.
In this story of the fox and thereviews I've had oh, I can't
even read them without cryingFrom veterans, first responders.
There's a lady that hasterminal cancer.
She read it to her kids and thecoolest, one of the coolest
stories that might have comefrom my book is about six weeks
(22:24):
ago, mid-october.
This lady leaves just the mostamazing review.
She doesn't have kids, but shebought a children's book because
she saw something about itbeing about PTSD and she's gone
through her own battles herself.
And so I reach out to her andturns out she lives on the same
(22:47):
street I do, in this little townof 3,000 people.
What a small world.
So, yeah, so we met for coffeeand she used to be over 360
pounds, so she's lost 200 pounds.
Our stories are like a totalclone of each other and what
we've been dating for six weeksand, um, my daughter loves her.
(23:08):
They just click like that.
It's every.
All these little similarities,it's so you know I'm gonna see
how things go and if things evergo really well, I'm gonna reach
out to jeff bezos and be likehey, you know, we met through
amazon.
You want to want to hook us upwith a nice wedding or something
yeah I don't know about that.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Good luck with that.
Yeah, I don't know if he's ascharitable no but yeah, so we
met through that book.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Um, I had a mom send me a message.
Her kid is eight years old.
I think his parent had beenafraid of dentists ever since.
A bad experience when he wasfive and they read the book
together and now he's.
They went to the dentist a weekago for the first time and he
was fine.
He's like I need to be bravelike this little fox.
So I mean, this one has justsold almost 100 copies.
(23:59):
It's only been out seven weeks,so I think it's again the
stories.
Right, the stories are justcoming out.
Um, about a year ago I guesswhen arnold schwarzenegger
posted my story this was beforeI had the books or anything and
it had like 9 million views hispost.
(24:19):
And then Charles Barkley, hetalked about it on his podcast,
just my story.
He had heard it, he read anarticle, but his people reached
out to me about a week ago.
So we, me and my daughter, justrecorded an update to be on his
bleacher report one.
So you might have to put on theseatbelt in a few weeks, I
(24:41):
don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
But you never know.
But you know, when you comparethat to what you said earlier,
Dave, about you know saying,would anybody really miss me?
And then hearing all of thisfeedback and saying you're
getting all this positive stuffthat you can't read because it
makes you cry, shows you howmuch you, you really do matter
right, like how many people youreally have touched well, and
(25:03):
you know what the thing is that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
So a few of the podcast people I've talked to
since joining that facebook pagelike listen, man, if you want
to come on, but like, but, butmy podcast only has 10 listeners
.
I'm like listen, man, if youwant to come on the but like,
but, but my podcast only has 10listeners.
I'm like listen.
What if one of those 10listeners is me?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
six years ago exactly , right, like I don't care if
you have a hundred plays, or200,000 plays, like I just uh,
you never know.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
All it takes is one person.
I mean, this could be someonestanding on a balcony like me,
loaded, drunk out of his mind,thinking about jumping off, you
know.
Or a woman, like you said, thathas been through a rape, that
just um, or anything, any sexualassaults, or you know what, if
that one person that hears thisand then they change their life
or get help, or just talk tosomeone that's.
(25:49):
That's what makes, makes me.
You know my big thing, books arealready bestsellers in my mind
just because of the peoplethey're reaching and stuff.
Sure.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, and because of the person who wrote it as well.
One of the things that I try tolive by is the, you know be as
nice as you can to everybody,because being nice to a stranger
on the street you couldliterally be stopping them from
doing something that you're noteven aware of.
They could be having the worstday of their life, thinking
(26:18):
about ending their life, andjust a random stranger walks up
to them and says something nice,unprompted, that could change
their entire day.
I mean, you're never going toknow that if you're on the other
end of that, but I think that'swhy it's so important.
And I know, and it's probably astereotype, but Canadians are
perceived as being friendly andnice all the time, right, so I
know that there's a little bitof a stereotype there.
In terms of mental health, herein the United States, I'm sure
(26:40):
you're aware we are having amental health crisis.
I mean, our health care sucks.
Everything pretty much aboutour system sucks.
What's it like in Canada interms of?
Do they view mental health witha seriousness?
Do they view mental health witha seriousness?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Well, first of all, just to talk about saying
something nice and changingsomeone's life.
When I first tried boxing forthe first time, I went into this
big boxing gym that had likefour rings and like there's
professionals in there.
And this was after I lost halfmy weight.
And so I go in there and thisguy comes out of the ring.
I found out later he's got fivetitles, he's like a golden
(27:22):
glove boxer.
And he just came up and he saidman, he called me champ.
He's like you got this champ,you can do it.
And he put me on his Instagramstory and just him just calling
me champ, like it's stuck withme four years now.
And like I'm ever at a gym?
I don't, I have my gym in myhome so I don't go to them very
often, but if I see someonestruggling I'll just walk up and
hey, man, you keep going champ,just like, just that.
(27:45):
But giving it back, like yousaid earlier, yeah, as far as
the canadian mental health sideof things, I mean we have, I
don't know we have all thiscraziness going on right now.
It's called the maid program.
What is that?
Medical assisted?
Oh, I forget what it stands for, but it's basically the
government will take your lifeif you qualify um oh, like, uh,
(28:09):
like an assisted, assistedsuicide yeah, okay, um, medical
assistance and dying.
So it's getting bad for, like Idon't know, I've got a friend
who's her partner is.
He's pretty sick and they hadsomeone come to the door and
they sat down with him like, hey, you're costing the government
(28:30):
too much money.
Do you want to just end yourlife like it's?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
it's scary is that literally?
The approach is that your costis it.
It's a resource thing likeyou're costing too much money.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's it's so scary, huh, oh my god.
Yeah, if you look it up, I meanthere's that's terrifying right
now, and oh, that's absolutelyterrifying.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I did not.
I mean I I had heard of about,I didn't know that was the name
of the program.
I remember hearing about awoman, I think, that was trying
to have assisted suicide inCanada, but I didn't know it was
pushed like that.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, it's happening under the wing.
I mean, I live in a little townof 3,800 people and I know of
two people that have beenapproached by them to take that
option.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That is wow.
Okay, so Canada sounds likejust as bad then.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, wow, okay.
So canada is?
It sounds like just as bad.
Then, yeah, it's getting there.
I mean, if you got to go forlike any mris or anything like
that, I mean you're, you're on atwo-year waiting list as well.
But yeah, I'm, I'm.
I haven't been to a doctor andI go once a year just to keep my
records, but I'm a prettyhealthy guy um, funny story when
I was almost 400 pounds, I wason 14 pills.
(29:38):
The doctor put me on them forcholesterol, type two, diabetes,
high blood pressure, you knowall the old Zempics and they
wanted me and all that.
So when I lost my weight I wentfor a checkup and he's like the
doctor's like okay, let's,let's try taking you down half a
dose.
I'm like okay, so I juststopped taking them myself
(29:59):
because I felt I didn't needthem.
So I went back in six monthsfor a checkup.
He pulls up my chart, he'slooking at them.
Then he's like oh, it seemslike this is working, so let's,
let's try taking you down tolike two milligrams, or okay, I
play along.
So I went back six months laterand he's like I think we're
ready to take you off.
Somebody's like listen, man, Ihaven't taken a pill in a year.
(30:21):
And uh, his face was just likeall right, yeah, because they I
don't know what's happeningthere but they like to push
pills and try and keep you on asmany of them.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
but because they I don't know what's happening
there but they like to pushpills and try and keep you on as
many of them, but so it'spretty.
It's pretty similar than ourcountry.
Then yeah, very littledifference there.
When you you had said it forlike a man, for um an mri,
there's a two-year waiting listyou had mentioned earlier the
first time you went tocounseling.
Is there a waiting list forcounseling services too, or is
(30:54):
it pretty easy?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
no, it's pretty like there's like my, the company I
work for, we have an app.
You can go talk to someone livewithin an hour.
Oh, wow, okay, um, yeah,they're like professionals you
click an app, you pick a nameyou like and then you know it's.
Oh, my god, I make fun of itbecause it's almost like tinder
for for doctors.
You gotta use right, left, noI'm not gonna talk to her no,
(31:16):
I'm not gonna talk.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Oh, he looks cool and you said you went because I
don't think you finished this.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
I think you said you went a couple of sessions and
then it did like it didn't workor what happened well, I went
for two and I don't know if shewas doing all these weird things
where she was making me stareat her finger and look back and
forth and oh, emdr, okay, yeah,I didn't.
Boxing for me is what reallyfixed my mind.
And then you know, obviously,my kid like I used to take her
(31:47):
to a lot of play centers becauseI worked four days on, four off
, so.
But I always watched from thetables and I'd watch other
parents like following theirkids up and the kids were
laughing.
I could see her and every nowand then looking down at me.
But now when we go, like I'mgoing on the slides, I got stuck
in a tube a couple weeks ago.
Um, the first time I followedher, I recorded.
(32:09):
She didn't know I was rightbehind her, so actually I've got
mine.
But when she turns around andsees me at the top of that slide
, her smile, I took a picture ofit.
Easy, I'll never go back.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
I'm curious how did you get out of the tube?
That would terrify me if I gotstuck in a tube.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Well, my knees are still pretty bad, right.
So it was this tube you had togo through in almost like a,
almost like a u-shape, and I gothalfway through it and then my
knees rocked them up so I got onmy back and kind of slid
through like a caterpillarsomething.
I'm so glad nobody wasrecording it, because it would
have probably been on like, uh,you know, viral on tick, tock or
something did you panic at allor was it like?
(32:47):
no, I just flipped on my backand just kind of wiggled out,
but she still laughs about herwell, I had recently taken a
trip to italy.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
We had gone into napoli and we had gone into
these underground catacombs andthey told us that there was an
area that was going to be reallytight and we'd have to walk
sideways and put our cell phoneson with the light because of
how dark it would be and therewas an exit point that you could
take before you got to it.
And I misheard that and missedthe exit point, so I had to walk
through it and when I tell youthat thing was 15 minutes long,
(33:17):
towards the end I thought I wasliterally going to lose my mind
because it was so tight.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So I was certainly having a panic attack that time
yeah my uh, my big goal is tohave a it's called the tough
mutter competition oh, yeah,yeah, yeah so I want to sign us
up to do one of those nextsummer, but uh, that's gonna be
some youtube fail content rightthere.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I don't know you changed a lot.
I mean, you took it, you youhad an awful tragedy and then
you, you changed the eating, youchanged the weight, you changed
the alcohol?
Um, were there any othernegative patterns you developed
throughout that time that youchanged the alcohol?
Um, were there any othernegative patterns you developed
throughout that time that youchanged?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
um, no, not really, because I I lost it so slow and
over such long a time, like Idon't have any, any dead skin
left over, like nothing hangsdown in places.
It shouldn't okay.
And uh, I do get a lot oftrolls online, like when, like
arnold schwarzenegger and genesimmons and those people post my
stuff, but uh, how do you dealwith?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
how do you because trolls are just awful, um, how
do you?
Do you read them?
Do you not to read them?
Like?
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (34:28):
I read them, they used to give me anxiety attacks,
um, really bad.
But now my daughter, she's 10,she's my noise canceling
headphones for everything,because when she looks at me
sometimes like she just startedmuay thai.
She did boxing with me for twoyears, she likes to hold pads
for the kids and um, because Iused to train and train kids how
(34:51):
to do some boxing too.
But she's moved on.
One time she loves it and justwatching her, like I'll go and
watch.
And she got asked if she wantedto move to the next class, up
the next level, because she's sogood and she's like no, I like
being the demo, I like helpinglittle kids and you know it's
just, oh, it makes you so proud,like I don't know it's.
(35:14):
If she wants to stay there forthe entire time, it's fine by me
, plus it, plus it costs less.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
So added benefit.
What for other people who havehad similar traumatic event in
their life?
What would you tell them?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
My biggest thing I would tell them that's hey, you
know what, it's asking for helpor just talking to someone.
Because a lot, especially withdudes, like it doesn't matter if
it's a man or woman, but withus guys like you almost feel
like talking about it makes youweak or like you should just
suck it up and move on.
But I mean, I joined the groupcalled a brother brother's path,
(36:03):
so it's just, it's just dudestalking and it's starting to
change a little bit.
Like you mean, they havethey'll meet up and watch
football and just just shoot theshoot the right.
Um, but it's starting to change.
And up here we have I don'treally like it, but one day a
year they call it, you know,let's talk about stuff day,
let's talk about what it's justcalled, let's talk day.
(36:23):
So it encourages everyone totalk about mental health.
But it's becoming too much ofjust advertising and I like to
encourage that every day of theyear, like not just one day.
I like to encourage that everyday of the year, like not just
one day.
And it's we.
I started up a little thingcalled Operation you Are Not
Alone.
So it's just asking people tomake a sign with you Are Not
(36:44):
Alone on it.
Email it in and then you know,if I get enough, I'll put them
in like YouTube videos just so.
Every time I get a hundred I'llpost a new YouTube video just
with.
If I get enough, I'll put themin like YouTube videos just so
every time I get 100, I'll posta new YouTube video just with.
If anyone's like you know, Iwonder if people do give a crap.
They can just go here and say,hey, here's 100 people that do
(37:05):
so.
I've gotten a few from someveterans and that's uh, some
fire.
Some retired firemen gottogether and took a picture like
it's starting slow, but it'sthere.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
People are starting to notice I was actually hopeful
in canada.
It was a little bit moreprogressive in terms of men's
mental health, because it's verysimilar here in the states
where, particularly with men,it's discouraged from them to
talk about their mental health,especially first responders.
That's why I think what you'redoing for military people are so
(37:35):
important, because firstresponders can see a awful
tragedy and they can't talkabout it because if they talk
about it they're perceived asweak, so they just have to suck
it up and move on to the nextthing.
And when I I'm even talkingabout nurses in hospitals, when
they lose patients like theyjust have to go right to the
next patient.
They don't get any sort of timeto process the loss or the
(37:57):
grief.
There's no staff available todo that with them.
I was really hopeful Canada wasbetter, but it sounds like it's
not.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
It's getting there.
It's not horrible, but justthat whole MAID program really
grinds my gears that has beenaround in 2010 and I heard about
it.
I might not even be here, but um, the paramedic, one of the
paramedics that saved my life.
It took me 29 years to find herand, um, I went online.
(38:29):
I just this is my last attempttrying to find this lady.
Um, at the time of my incident,only two percent of paramedics
were female.
Um, so you'd think it wouldhave been easier, because there
was only two on shift that day,but apparently one of them, a
lady that was on my call, shehad, she was in an accident, had
some severe brain injury, soher memory wasn't, but I mean I
(38:52):
didn't give up.
It took me 29 years to find herand now we we text each other
every day.
Oh, that's so nice she's.
We're actually doing anotherbook.
Um, we're writing a booktogether because she's an
illustrator good for you and um,I can't say too much about that
yet, but it's making ambulancesand paramedics less scary for
kids.
So she wants to do that as afundraiser for service dogs for
(39:17):
first responders, so I'll bepassing that right over to her,
so that'll be coming in about ayear.
I'm really taking my time withthat one Cause I think it's
going to be a a one of a kindbook, because you got someone
that almost died and theparamedic that saved them doing
a book together to help firstresponders.
Like that'll be really cool.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
And so you know, so far from the actual event too,
that you were able to track herdown.
That long afterwards, right,but she could have gone anywhere
.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, it went pretty viral.
Like she's in Ontario, I'm inAlberta, which is like basically
you're LA to New York kind ofdistance, and because this
happened to me on the other sideof the country, but yeah, I
guess everybody was messengerLike is this you, is this you,
is this you?
And then her and my daughterhave really clicked they.
They exchanged Christmas giftslast year like little paintings
(40:08):
and stuff.
So it's yeah, it's unreal.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
So you've done two books.
You have a third book on theway you have a, so it's yeah,
it's unreal around then too init, but it also highlights for
those people that may be usingthose services.
Now I hope they hear your storybecause, my god, that I'm just,
I'm really shocked by thatprogram yeah, it's pretty
terrifying.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Some of the it's under review.
Now they're trying to pass somesort of bill, but I kind of I
don't really watch the news, soI just kind of hear what friends
are talking about.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
But that's actually probably a smart thing, because
the news is the large reason whyI think many people in this
country have ptsd.
I mean, sometimes I do thinkit's by design.
In your case it was a scenariothat was outside of your control
.
But I think culturally, in artin our country anyway, there's a
, there's a design to keepingpeople traumatized oh, yeah, for
sure, and also keep them.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I know so many guys are on so many different kind of
medications for it oh yeah, bigpharma runs this country yeah,
well, it's pretty similar uphere.
Like some of the, I know someof the doctors you know they get
bonuses for how much theyprescribe and that kind of stuff
.
But I kind of that's rabbithole.
I did try not to go down.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Exactly.
I'm right there with you.
We can do a whole other episodeon that, did you?
I am curious, though did youhave the same opiate crisis that
we did?
I would imagine you did Right,cause I think there was some
trade into Canada.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I know in mostly in Vancouver, to the west
of me, and in Toronto there'sbig problems with it.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
okay, yeah, but I mean, here I'm in a town of like
3,800 people, so I don't reallykind of see that stuff although
you know I, the town I live in,is a population of like 14 or
1500 and apparently this townhas a reputation for meth
production.
That's what I mean.
I haven't seen any evidence ofmyself, but a lot of people talk
(42:19):
about it, so it's a little.
It's a little concerning.
Dave, thank you so much foragreeing to be on the podcast.
It's really a pleasure to haveyou and I hope you have such a
powerful message of taking aserious tragedy and turning,
turning what happened from itinto all these really possible
altruistic, charitable things,and I think you're amazing.
(42:40):
I wish you a lot of luck inthat journey and can you just
repeat the names of your booksagain for the people who are
listening, in case they want tobuy them, and I'll put the title
in the description as well.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Sure, so the book about PTSD and the fox is just
called in the heart of theforest.
Um, if any of your listenersare spanish and they know it, I
know what.
We have a spanish version, aukrainian version and a french
version coming soon.
So yeah, if they search In theHeart of the Forest on Amazon.
(43:18):
The other book is just calledthe Great Race.
My Daddy and Me, like I said,that one's only $10.
The new one's $12 US.
I keep the prices lower.
I mean, like I said, it's notabout royalties and that kind of
thing.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
for me, and the name of the youtube is you're not
alone, is that correct?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
um, well, if they go to in the in the heart of the
forestcom, that links to theyoutube, um, and the youtube is
just under in the heart of theforest too.
So that's kind of just startingout and we'll see how that goes
okay, and would you be?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
sometimes the listeners will send me with
guest speakers.
They'll send me questions.
Would you be okay, if they didhave any questions for you, if I
screened them and then sendthem on to you?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Yeah, if they go to intheheartoftheforestcom,
there's a contact me buttonthere.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Oh, okay, perfect Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
That goes right to my email.
I've had a few people reach outthere too.
Actually, I had Santa Clausreading my book last night at
the town festival.
You get an endorsement fromthat guy.
Apparently, if you pick on mybook, rumor has it you're on the
nice list for at least twoyears.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Well, thank you again , dave.
I really appreciate it.
All right, take care, helloeverybody, and thank you again
(44:56):
for listening.
This is just a reminder that nopart of this podcast can be
duplicated or copied withoutwritten consent from either
myself or Wendy.
Thank you again.
This podcast is not intended to serve as therapeutic
advice or to replace anyprofessional treatment.
These opinions belong to us anddo not reflect any company or
agency.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the United States of PTSD.
Today I have a special guest,david Murphy, or Dave, do you
prefer, dave or David, dave?
Dave Murphy, dave is the authorof two books that I'm going to
have him tell you about, and hehas gone through a personal
tragedy that actually is how hegot to the point of writing
(00:51):
those books.
So, dave, I'm going to let youjust kind of take over.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Sure.
So I guess my story starts in1994.
I was walking near a mall inOttawa and I got approached by
three guys who have ended upattacking me and of course back
then I wasn't a boxer.
I didn't know how to defendmyself and I thought I did, but
I started to walk away.
They took off and then I passedout to the ground and I was
(01:21):
stabbed 13 times two prettysevere ones in my leg that tore
half the muscle.
Nine times in my back I had apunctured lung, I had one wound,
miss my heart by an inch andI'm pretty lucky to be here.
So for about 25 years I didn'tknow how to deal with PTSD.
(01:44):
I didn't even know I had PTSD,I just couldn't sleep.
I used to go out drinking bythe pitcher maybe four to six
nights a week and I'd just getobliterated.
That's basically what you calla sad clown.
All my friends would oh man,you're so funny, you're just
doing all the stupid things ofkaraoke.
(02:04):
It was just an escape for mebecause I didn't know how to
deal with.
All my friends would oh man,you're so funny, you're like
just doing all the stupid thingsof karaoke.
And you know it was.
It was just an escape roombecause I didn't know how to
deal with all this anxiety andnot being able to sleep.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And which is totally understandable.
I mean, that's a that's a major, major incident.
What did you have?
A support network rightafterwards.
What did that look like afterthe, after the attack?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I didn't really have anything because I just I was
really good at faking a smileand everyone just thought I was
perfectly okay.
I mean, when I saw anyone thatlooked like the guys that did
that to me, I mean they werefrom, they're from Somalia, I'm
okay saying that.
But whenever I would see anyonethat from there that looked
like them, i'd'd have to get offpublic transit or I'd cross the
(02:47):
street because I didn't want towalk past them.
And my first big wake-up callwas when my ex-wife was eight
months pregnant.
We were moving into afourth-floor apartment building
and I was doing it by myself,just one box at a time building.
And I was doing it by myself,just one box at a time.
And the guys that live below us,there were three Somalian guys
(03:12):
and they start walking towardsme and I'm like, oh God, here we
go again.
They're going to, they're goingto beat the crap out of me.
And the guy was like hey, doyou want some help?
So him, he called in.
There were six of them.
He called in six of his friendsand they helped me for an hour
and that was my first big wakeup call.
You know, it's like everybody'snot like this and it was.
I told this story before andsomeone was like oh man, that's
so racist.
(03:32):
I'm like no man, you don't.
You don't get what it's like inyour head.
Like to me, it wouldn't matterif they were, you know, they're
Irish, or they all had red hair.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It was the same thing to me.
Anyone that looked like thoseguys, I thought they were going
to attack me, and that's a verycommon response.
I mean, if you think about avictim of a sex crime, for
example, when a woman is rapedby a man, there's a certain
amount of normalcy afterwardsabout being afraid of men just
in general, or men that looklike the attacker.
So it's certainly not a raciststatement, it's a trauma-based
statement.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Exactly, and then when my daughter was born in
2014, that's when I first wentand got some professional help.
I tried that for three sessions.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
What was the gap between that point and when the
actual incident happened, likehow many years have passed 1994
to 2014.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So 30 years 30 years Were.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They were the.
Were the perpetrators everapprehended?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, they were.
They got a slap in the wristbecause they're all under 18.
I was 17 when this happened, soI think they did some community
service.
I didn't want to attend thecourt case, so it was.
Charges were down fromattempted murder to aggravated
assault and then they basicallygot like a six-month you know go
(04:55):
pick up garbage on the highway,kind of thing.
Wow, I'm sorry, dave, no, it's.
You know what, when I look backat it now, I mean it made me
move out west where I met thelady that will actually give you
my daughter.
So it's I look back on it andall the things I've done.
Like I ran a charity for from2007 to 2014,.
(05:16):
We used to send over carepackages to the military over in
Afghanistan and cause I just Iwas just trying to pay it back
forward and it started with Ijust used to deliver cans of
coffee to like fire halls, juststuff to try and keep my mind
busy, and at one point that pagehad 4.1 million members, so
(05:37):
that kept me really busy, wowyeah and uh I actually met a guy
because I don't know if you'veheard of tim hortons, but it's a
pretty big coffee franchisehere in canada yeah, we have
them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think they're more common in the south here, but we
have them yeah, so they openedup a.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
They opened up a tim hortons in the back of a semi
truck and brought it overafghanistan for our soldiers and
put on the base.
So what we did?
They had these little papercertificates were like two
dollars, so people would justwrite a little message of
support on them.
I had an address from amilitary center in Toronto so
they'd send them there directly.
But in the first year we sent$100,000 worth of free coffee
(06:17):
and then they had so much thatthey shared with the US guys and
the British guys and got themall hooked on it.
So I got an and the Britishguys and got them all hooked on
it.
So I got an email from a USMarine.
Just like thanks for getting mehooked on Tim Horton's coffee.
You SOB, I put on like right,Like all my guys have put on
like wait from donuts and coffee.
(06:37):
But he actually they flew a flagfor me over and it was in Teji,
iraq.
So I have a US flag framed onmy mantle downstairs and then
when people come visit me likeman, you're canadian, why the
heck do you have a us flag?
Like that's so stupid.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And then I tell them the story and they're like wow,
now I feel stupid, but yourability to take something that
was very tragic and turn it intosomething very selfless but
helping other people, is reallyit's admirable, was there.
Do you have a militarybackground?
Is that what made you pick themilitary, or was like a family?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
no, I mean, I always wanted to join it and then, with
losing half my muscle, my leg,and you know I wasn't I never
would have passed basic trainingwith that, but I just had so
many close friends that served.
And then this little coffeething took off and then we did a
.
I did a video series called thegratitude project on YouTube,
(07:30):
where people would just holdthank you signs.
And I wake up and check myinbox and here's Gene Simmons
and his wife, shannon, holdingthe thank you sign and a salute.
So they I had enough to make 14YouTube videos that were about
6 minutes long each and justlike bands, like Trooper and
like all these Canadian bands.
(07:50):
But it was funny because thenShannon Tweed, gene Simmons'
wife, messaged me like, hey,we're coming to Calgary.
Do you want to bring someveterans to the concert?
So I'm like, yeah, I'm like myold 80s hard rock mullet wearing
.
I'm like, are you kidding me?
Like do I get to be the host?
(08:11):
So they gave me eight, eightfront row tickets to bring
veterans.
I got to go back meet the bandand then every time they came to
calgary they'd be like, howmany tickets do you need?
And because they reposted mystuff on.
Well, what was twitter backthen?
All like my favorite 80s hardrock bands and they had all
followed me.
(08:31):
And then they come to town like, hey, you want to bring some
veterans.
I'm like, yeah, so like motleycrew, judas, priest meganeth um,
my daughter's favorite bandsplashing boots, there's like a
children's entertainers.
They gave us tickets, uh-huh,um, it's just all the crazy
things that have happened fromthis.
You know it was a horribleincident, but it's.
(08:52):
It's changed my life and allthe things that are happening
now are just.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
You've clearly made a big impact in the lives of
other people.
That's for certain that you hadmentioned.
You got that letter from the,the soldier who said thank you
for tim hortons.
You know, because we've allgained weight.
I think part of your journeywas there was weight gain as a
result of the tragedy as well,right?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
well, I was on a couch for six months.
Basically I had to learn how towalk again and I was only 18
years old, and so I put on a lotof weight then and and then
when I started drinking andeating pub food every night, my
heaviest I was 392 pounds.
So when my daughter was born Iquit the binge drinking.
(09:37):
I'd still go out once a week,but it wasn't an escape.
And when she was four, we're ata little, we're at a playground
and she's like dad, dad, let'srace home.
She's like four and a half andI'm like, oh, sweetie.
I said you know, dad can't run.
And her little face, thatdisappointment, little fire in
(09:58):
me, like nothing.
So I went online on my Facebookand I said, hey, you guys
Nothing.
So I went online on my Facebookand I said, hey, you guys, I'm
going to drop 100 pounds thisyear and I'm going to donate a
dollar, a pound, to my favoritecharity, which is it's called
Camp Praxis.
They're a horse therapy programfor veterans and first
responders with PTSD, here injust about two hours away from
(10:20):
me.
So I hit that goal in a year.
14 people matched me, so myone100 turned into $1,400.
Somebody saw that, matched thatand then a horse competition
business saw it and they justupped my donation to $22,000.
That's amazing.
(10:41):
So from $1 a pound it turnedinto almost 25 grand directly to
them.
Again.
I had nothing coming to medirectly, but yeah so then, one
of my best friends he's aBaptist pastor in town, name is
Joseph he signed me and mydaughter up to do a 5K run, and
(11:03):
I was so nervous because I'venever ran since this all
happened was.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This was after you lost the weight, correct yeah,
this was after I dropped 170pounds in total.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Okay, um, so I'm sitting about 240.
Right now.
I don't really weigh myselfanymore, it's just how close
fits.
And so we did our fivekilometer race, and I don't
remember why, but my daughterwas like, dad, we should write a
book about this.
So that was my first children'sbook I launched about a year
and a half ago and it's justcalled the great race, my daddy
(11:35):
and me, and it's.
I found a.
I live in a town of 3000 peopleand I found an illustrator who
lives across the street from me.
She's 15 years old and she'ssaving up for art college.
I'm like well, why don't we dothis?
So she drew the pictures of us.
She was very kind in the in thehair department to me.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
She gave me a full head of hair my, my pastor
friend is in this book.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He's about five foot four, but she made him taller
than me and I've never heard theend of it.
Um, but yeah, so that one, thatone did pretty good.
I mean, I met a.
I'll tell you a funny storyabout this book, because I get
an email from a U S Navy veteranwho was 487 pounds and he had
two twin daughters who were fiveyears old.
(12:20):
And his doctor looked at himand said do you want someone
else raising your girls?
And so he lost he's lost over200 pounds.
And on the same day that mydaughter and I did our 5k, he
did his first 5k with his twodaughters and we never even knew
.
This is amazing, texas, but himand I become really close
(12:44):
friends, like you know.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
You still have your moments when you need some
inspiration.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I'll go look at his posts and I was like, okay, I
need to get my butt back in gearCause I haven't worked out in a
week and it's the same thing.
But him and I are like we'venever met in person but we're
like like two best friendsbecause our stories are so
identical and then so that bookhas been about a year, took a
(13:09):
year to sell 100, which is, I'mnot worried about numbers, but
the parents I've talked to thatI've like started to change
their lives and you know it'smuch more than numbers.
I mean, it was the number onebestseller for a week and then,
my kids sell them.
She's like oh my god, dad,you're like Taylor Swift, I'm
like yeah, but I'm only in thetop 10 for a week.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
She's been in it for like three years even though I
don't know you well, havingtalked to you just for a couple
minutes before we started this,and you know through messenger,
it's clear that you're you'rereally about getting the message
out and helping people, notabout profiting, and you know
being number one.
So, and even if you did help,you know five 600 people.
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Well, and you know what do like any of the small
royalties I get for that book Isplit between my daughters and
our 15 year old illustratorseducation fund, so it's I've
been able to send a couple ofhundred dollars to each of that
in a year.
So I mean that's not likeStephen King numbers or anything
, but again it's I'm not worriedabout that it's the level of
impact right.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I mean you're, you're probably changing people's
lives.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, and I just love talking to people that have
made changes because of it, andso that book, um, that did
pretty well.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
And then, well, I'm curious, what was it like for
you to go from kind of I thinkthere's actually an app called
couch to 5k but what was it likefor you to do that, to go from
not exercising to doing a 5k?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Well, I mean I had done, I used to do five boxing
circuits a week that were 90minutes long.
Wow, that's how I, like, Istill eat, like I'm never giving
up my steak and potatoes, I'mall I do, is I the size of my
plate, I cut down the meat orcut down the potatoes, double up
the meat and the vegetables andthat's about it.
But I mean going from that todoing a 5k.
(14:58):
Well, it took us 40, 42 minutes, which is not bad, I think.
Uh, walking used to take me 90minutes, but she beat me by.
She beat me by three hundredthsof a second.
I will never hear the end ofthat.
She still talks about it I did.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
When I turned 40, I did a 5k.
That was also and I am not anexercise fanatic well, at least
cardio.
I should say I'm not a cardioperson, and it was they.
It was part obstacle course aswell, yeah, and I remember it
was grueling.
I don't think I I ended upwalking the last part of it
because it was just so much yeah, we do.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
We'd walk for a minute and then run for a minute
.
That was how run until we got abreath and then run for a
minute.
That was how run until we gotour breath, and then we just
stop and just just walk.
I'd eventually like to run afull one from start to finish,
but sounds like you had fun,though, right like you, it was
like a bonding time and then,because all the professional
racers were all finished, sothey were lined up for the last
(16:00):
kilometer, cheering on the slowpeople and, um man, all I can
remember is this guy saying comeon don't let your dad beat you.
And she's like, oh no, and it,it made it we ran like the whole
last kilometer which was, youknow, five years ago.
I couldn't walk a kilometerwithout leg cramps, so it was
pretty emotional when we got tothat line and they put the
(16:22):
medals on us and, yeah, I'llnever forget it and I would
imagine that at that point too,because you had talked about
struggling with alcohol, you hadbeen sober at that point,
correct?
um, yeah, I've actually theydon't call like I haven't been
drunk.
I used to get drunk on mybirthdays once a year.
That was my thing.
Um, the last time that happenedwas two years ago in august.
(16:43):
Um, so I don't like saying I'mcompletely sober because I have
had like one beer here.
Sure, you know a couple offriends, I'll have one one drink
.
Just it's not an escape anymore, it's just a social thing.
Um, but I can go out and haveone and then stop, but so I mean
it's a great line.
I never say, oh, I've beensober 600 days.
(17:04):
Like you see, people postbecause technically in my mind
I'm in because I haven't beendrunk in two and a half years.
But I don't post forjustification or for anyone else
like it's, you know it's, it'sfor me, so I don't do those kind
of things and how?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
how long did you go through the period of?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
go through the period of problematic drinking.
I would say probably from theage of 20 to about 45.
20 to 45.
Um, I have my, one of my, oneof my greatest friends.
She's four foot six, maybe,maybe 448, and I'd never seen
her mad in my life and we usedto go to karaoke together.
This woman had the voice of anangel and one night I was
sitting down at a pub.
This is at 1.30 in the morning.
(17:48):
It's the last call and I don'tknow if they have, like you know
, the video gambling machineswhere you hit the buttons and
stuff.
Yeah yep Okay.
So I was playing one of thosefor 45 minutes without putting
in a cent and I was so mad atthis game I'm like yelling and
cursing at it.
She came over with a pot ofcoffee, two cups, and she sat me
(18:10):
down in a booth with the coffee.
I won't swear.
But she said if you don'tsmarten the F up, you're not
going to see 50.
And I was like, wow, you're theonly person that's ever seen
through my sad clown it was.
And so then, on my birthday twoyears ago, which was the last
(18:33):
night I was ever drunk, maybemight be three years ago, sorry
the dates, but she passed awayon my birthday she had a heart
attack.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
God, I know, Because to me that was my sign right
there and I never, ever go backto that.
Like this little lady who I'venever seen, with a smile on her
face, I saw anger and she waslike man, if you don't, and I
talked to her husband all thetime Like man, she was an earth
angel.
Like she was my final wake upcall to totally give up the, the
(19:04):
getting drunk Right.
So now, on her birthday,instead of drinking I just I'll
put on a few of her songs andjust I'll be like on my mind.
I'll be like thank you becauseyou probably saved my life
because I was heading down a badroad.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It was almost like foreshadowing with the message
that she gave you and actuallythis august I turned 50, so on
my birthday.
So me too wait this the waitthis past august or this coming
august?
This coming august I'll be 50years old.
Oh I'm, I turned 50 last august, although I keep telling
(19:40):
everybody I'm still 35, butwhatever, and then the second
book you wrote.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
The second book was also related to the incident.
Yeah, well, I wanted to.
I was sitting down and I wastrying to think of a way to help
people, and it was on the WorldSuicide Awareness Day.
So I put a post on Twitterbecause I never shared this
story online.
But in 2010, I had come homefrom a night of binge drinking.
It was 2 o'clock in the morning.
(20:11):
I lived on the 14th floor of abuilding in downtown Calgary and
I was just standing on mybalcony and I don't know if I
was ever considering jumping offit.
But I thought to myself wouldanyone even give a crap if I
leaped off here?
And so, yeah, I shared thatonline and one of my guys his
(20:31):
name is Michael Landsberg, he'sa pretty big in Canada for
mental health advocacy Cause Iposted that as I'm sharing this
moment of weakness, and he saidto me man, that's the biggest
moment of strength you're evergoing to have.
Don't look at it as sharing aweakness.
Cause, yeah, like the peoplethat saw that post and that
(20:54):
reposted it and just sharingtheir stories, it was crazy.
So I'm like I got to think of away I can help people with PTSD
.
So I wrote a second children'sbook about this little fox who
gets attacked by coyotes whichis me with the guys.
So every time he walks throughthe forest he's jumpy with the
(21:14):
guys.
So every time he walks throughthe forest he's jumpy.
If he hears a noise he'll gothe other way, or if he sees
coyotes over here he'll take thelong way around.
And then he meets an owl who isone of my best military friends
ever.
He said to me once just becausethe pass taps you on the
shoulder doesn't mean you haveto turn around and look.
So this owl says this to thecoyote and gives him his own
(21:41):
wake-up call.
So this might be a bit of aspoiler if anyone plans on
getting it.
But the coyote gets stuck, orthe fox gets stuck in a fox trap
, so he's helpless in the middleof the forest, which is kind of
me doing the moving thing, andthen those guys come up and ask
me if I need help.
Well, this coyote frees himfrom the trap.
(22:01):
So it's kind of basically mylife.
In this story of the fox and thereviews I've had oh, I can't
even read them without cryingFrom veterans, first responders.
There's a lady that hasterminal cancer.
She read it to her kids and thecoolest, one of the coolest
stories that might have comefrom my book is about six weeks
(22:24):
ago, mid-october.
This lady leaves just the mostamazing review.
She doesn't have kids, but shebought a children's book because
she saw something about itbeing about PTSD and she's gone
through her own battles herself.
And so I reach out to her andturns out she lives on the same
(22:47):
street I do, in this little townof 3,000 people.
What a small world.
So, yeah, so we met for coffeeand she used to be over 360
pounds, so she's lost 200 pounds.
Our stories are like a totalclone of each other and what
we've been dating for six weeksand, um, my daughter loves her.
(23:08):
They just click like that.
It's every.
All these little similarities,it's so you know I'm gonna see
how things go and if things evergo really well, I'm gonna reach
out to jeff bezos and be likehey, you know, we met through
amazon.
You want to want to hook us upwith a nice wedding or something
yeah I don't know about that.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Good luck with that.
Yeah, I don't know if he's ascharitable no but yeah, so we
met through that book.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Um, I had a mom send me a message.
Her kid is eight years old.
I think his parent had beenafraid of dentists ever since.
A bad experience when he wasfive and they read the book
together and now he's.
They went to the dentist a weekago for the first time and he
was fine.
He's like I need to be bravelike this little fox.
So I mean, this one has justsold almost 100 copies.
(23:59):
It's only been out seven weeks,so I think it's again the
stories.
Right, the stories are justcoming out.
Um, about a year ago I guesswhen arnold schwarzenegger
posted my story this was beforeI had the books or anything and
it had like 9 million views hispost.
(24:19):
And then Charles Barkley, hetalked about it on his podcast,
just my story.
He had heard it, he read anarticle, but his people reached
out to me about a week ago.
So we, me and my daughter, justrecorded an update to be on his
bleacher report one.
So you might have to put on theseatbelt in a few weeks, I
(24:41):
don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
But you never know.
But you know, when you comparethat to what you said earlier,
Dave, about you know saying,would anybody really miss me?
And then hearing all of thisfeedback and saying you're
getting all this positive stuffthat you can't read because it
makes you cry, shows you howmuch you, you really do matter
right, like how many people youreally have touched well, and
(25:03):
you know what the thing is that.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
So a few of the podcast people I've talked to
since joining that facebook pagelike listen, man, if you want
to come on, but like, but, butmy podcast only has 10 listeners
.
I'm like listen, man, if youwant to come on the but like,
but, but my podcast only has 10listeners.
I'm like listen.
What if one of those 10listeners is me?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
six years ago exactly , right, like I don't care if
you have a hundred plays, or200,000 plays, like I just uh,
you never know.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
All it takes is one person.
I mean, this could be someonestanding on a balcony like me,
loaded, drunk out of his mind,thinking about jumping off, you
know.
Or a woman, like you said, thathas been through a rape, that
just um, or anything, any sexualassaults, or you know what, if
that one person that hears thisand then they change their life
or get help, or just talk tosomeone that's.
(25:49):
That's what makes, makes me.
You know my big thing, books arealready bestsellers in my mind
just because of the peoplethey're reaching and stuff.
Sure.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, and because of the person who wrote it as well.
One of the things that I try tolive by is the, you know be as
nice as you can to everybody,because being nice to a stranger
on the street you couldliterally be stopping them from
doing something that you're noteven aware of.
They could be having the worstday of their life, thinking
(26:18):
about ending their life, andjust a random stranger walks up
to them and says something nice,unprompted, that could change
their entire day.
I mean, you're never going toknow that if you're on the other
end of that, but I think that'swhy it's so important.
And I know, and it's probably astereotype, but Canadians are
perceived as being friendly andnice all the time, right, so I
know that there's a little bitof a stereotype there.
In terms of mental health, herein the United States, I'm sure
(26:40):
you're aware we are having amental health crisis.
I mean, our health care sucks.
Everything pretty much aboutour system sucks.
What's it like in Canada interms of?
Do they view mental health witha seriousness?
Do they view mental health witha seriousness?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Well, first of all, just to talk about saying
something nice and changingsomeone's life.
When I first tried boxing forthe first time, I went into this
big boxing gym that had likefour rings and like there's
professionals in there.
And this was after I lost halfmy weight.
And so I go in there and thisguy comes out of the ring.
I found out later he's got fivetitles, he's like a golden
(27:22):
glove boxer.
And he just came up and he saidman, he called me champ.
He's like you got this champ,you can do it.
And he put me on his Instagramstory and just him just calling
me champ, like it's stuck withme four years now.
And like I'm ever at a gym?
I don't, I have my gym in myhome so I don't go to them very
often, but if I see someonestruggling I'll just walk up and
hey, man, you keep going champ,just like, just that.
(27:45):
But giving it back, like yousaid earlier, yeah, as far as
the canadian mental health sideof things, I mean we have, I
don't know we have all thiscraziness going on right now.
It's called the maid program.
What is that?
Medical assisted?
Oh, I forget what it stands for, but it's basically the
government will take your lifeif you qualify um oh, like, uh,
(28:09):
like an assisted, assistedsuicide yeah, okay, um, medical
assistance and dying.
So it's getting bad for, like Idon't know, I've got a friend
who's her partner is.
He's pretty sick and they hadsomeone come to the door and
they sat down with him like, hey, you're costing the government
(28:30):
too much money.
Do you want to just end yourlife like it's?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
it's scary is that literally?
The approach is that your costis it.
It's a resource thing likeyou're costing too much money.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's it's so scary, huh, oh my god.
Yeah, if you look it up, I meanthere's that's terrifying right
now, and oh, that's absolutelyterrifying.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I did not.
I mean I I had heard of about,I didn't know that was the name
of the program.
I remember hearing about awoman, I think, that was trying
to have assisted suicide inCanada, but I didn't know it was
pushed like that.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, it's happening under the wing.
I mean, I live in a little townof 3,800 people and I know of
two people that have beenapproached by them to take that
option.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That is wow.
Okay, so Canada sounds likejust as bad then.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, wow, okay.
So canada is?
It sounds like just as bad.
Then, yeah, it's getting there.
I mean, if you got to go forlike any mris or anything like
that, I mean you're, you're on atwo-year waiting list as well.
But yeah, I'm, I'm.
I haven't been to a doctor andI go once a year just to keep my
records, but I'm a prettyhealthy guy um, funny story when
I was almost 400 pounds, I wason 14 pills.
(29:38):
The doctor put me on them forcholesterol, type two, diabetes,
high blood pressure, you knowall the old Zempics and they
wanted me and all that.
So when I lost my weight I wentfor a checkup and he's like the
doctor's like okay, let's,let's try taking you down half a
dose.
I'm like okay, so I juststopped taking them myself
(29:59):
because I felt I didn't needthem.
So I went back in six monthsfor a checkup.
He pulls up my chart, he'slooking at them.
Then he's like oh, it seemslike this is working, so let's,
let's try taking you down tolike two milligrams, or okay, I
play along.
So I went back six months laterand he's like I think we're
ready to take you off.
Somebody's like listen, man, Ihaven't taken a pill in a year.
(30:21):
And uh, his face was just likeall right, yeah, because they I
don't know what's happeningthere but they like to push
pills and try and keep you on asmany of them.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
but because they I don't know what's happening
there but they like to pushpills and try and keep you on as
many of them, but so it'spretty.
It's pretty similar than ourcountry.
Then yeah, very littledifference there.
When you you had said it forlike a man, for um an mri,
there's a two-year waiting listyou had mentioned earlier the
first time you went tocounseling.
Is there a waiting list forcounseling services too, or is
(30:54):
it pretty easy?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
no, it's pretty like there's like my, the company I
work for, we have an app.
You can go talk to someone livewithin an hour.
Oh, wow, okay, um, yeah,they're like professionals you
click an app, you pick a nameyou like and then you know it's.
Oh, my god, I make fun of itbecause it's almost like tinder
for for doctors.
You gotta use right, left, noI'm not gonna talk to her no,
(31:16):
I'm not gonna talk.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Oh, he looks cool and you said you went because I
don't think you finished this.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
I think you said you went a couple of sessions and
then it did like it didn't workor what happened well, I went
for two and I don't know if shewas doing all these weird things
where she was making me stareat her finger and look back and
forth and oh, emdr, okay, yeah,I didn't.
Boxing for me is what reallyfixed my mind.
And then you know, obviously,my kid like I used to take her
(31:47):
to a lot of play centers becauseI worked four days on, four off
, so.
But I always watched from thetables and I'd watch other
parents like following theirkids up and the kids were
laughing.
I could see her and every nowand then looking down at me.
But now when we go, like I'mgoing on the slides, I got stuck
in a tube a couple weeks ago.
Um, the first time I followedher, I recorded.
(32:09):
She didn't know I was rightbehind her, so actually I've got
mine.
But when she turns around andsees me at the top of that slide
, her smile, I took a picture ofit.
Easy, I'll never go back.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
I'm curious how did you get out of the tube?
That would terrify me if I gotstuck in a tube.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Well, my knees are still pretty bad, right.
So it was this tube you had togo through in almost like a,
almost like a u-shape, and I gothalfway through it and then my
knees rocked them up so I got onmy back and kind of slid
through like a caterpillarsomething.
I'm so glad nobody wasrecording it, because it would
have probably been on like, uh,you know, viral on tick, tock or
something did you panic at allor was it like?
(32:47):
no, I just flipped on my backand just kind of wiggled out,
but she still laughs about herwell, I had recently taken a
trip to italy.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
We had gone into napoli and we had gone into
these underground catacombs andthey told us that there was an
area that was going to be reallytight and we'd have to walk
sideways and put our cell phoneson with the light because of
how dark it would be and therewas an exit point that you could
take before you got to it.
And I misheard that and missedthe exit point, so I had to walk
through it and when I tell youthat thing was 15 minutes long,
(33:17):
towards the end I thought I wasliterally going to lose my mind
because it was so tight.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So I was certainly having a panic attack that time
yeah my uh, my big goal is tohave a it's called the tough
mutter competition oh, yeah,yeah, yeah so I want to sign us
up to do one of those nextsummer, but uh, that's gonna be
some youtube fail content rightthere.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I don't know you changed a lot.
I mean, you took it, you youhad an awful tragedy and then
you, you changed the eating, youchanged the weight, you changed
the alcohol?
Um, were there any othernegative patterns you developed
throughout that time that youchanged the alcohol?
Um, were there any othernegative patterns you developed
throughout that time that youchanged?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
um, no, not really, because I I lost it so slow and
over such long a time, like Idon't have any, any dead skin
left over, like nothing hangsdown in places.
It shouldn't okay.
And uh, I do get a lot oftrolls online, like when, like
arnold schwarzenegger and genesimmons and those people post my
stuff, but uh, how do you dealwith?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
how do you because trolls are just awful, um, how
do you?
Do you read them?
Do you not to read them?
Like?
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (34:28):
I read them, they used to give me anxiety attacks,
um, really bad.
But now my daughter, she's 10,she's my noise canceling
headphones for everything,because when she looks at me
sometimes like she just startedmuay thai.
She did boxing with me for twoyears, she likes to hold pads
for the kids and um, because Iused to train and train kids how
(34:51):
to do some boxing too.
But she's moved on.
One time she loves it and justwatching her, like I'll go and
watch.
And she got asked if she wantedto move to the next class, up
the next level, because she's sogood and she's like no, I like
being the demo, I like helpinglittle kids and you know it's
just, oh, it makes you so proud,like I don't know it's.
(35:14):
If she wants to stay there forthe entire time, it's fine by me
, plus it, plus it costs less.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
So added benefit.
What for other people who havehad similar traumatic event in
their life?
What would you tell them?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
My biggest thing I would tell them that's hey, you
know what, it's asking for helpor just talking to someone.
Because a lot, especially withdudes, like it doesn't matter if
it's a man or woman, but withus guys like you almost feel
like talking about it makes youweak or like you should just
suck it up and move on.
But I mean, I joined the groupcalled a brother brother's path,
(36:03):
so it's just, it's just dudestalking and it's starting to
change a little bit.
Like you mean, they havethey'll meet up and watch
football and just just shoot theshoot the right.
Um, but it's starting to change.
And up here we have I don'treally like it, but one day a
year they call it, you know,let's talk about stuff day,
let's talk about what it's justcalled, let's talk day.
(36:23):
So it encourages everyone totalk about mental health.
But it's becoming too much ofjust advertising and I like to
encourage that every day of theyear, like not just one day.
I like to encourage that everyday of the year, like not just
one day.
And it's we.
I started up a little thingcalled Operation you Are Not
Alone.
So it's just asking people tomake a sign with you Are Not
(36:44):
Alone on it.
Email it in and then you know,if I get enough, I'll put them
in like YouTube videos just so.
Every time I get a hundred I'llpost a new YouTube video just
with.
If I get enough, I'll put themin like YouTube videos just so
every time I get 100, I'll posta new YouTube video just with.
If anyone's like you know, Iwonder if people do give a crap.
They can just go here and say,hey, here's 100 people that do
(37:05):
so.
I've gotten a few from someveterans and that's uh, some
fire.
Some retired firemen gottogether and took a picture like
it's starting slow, but it'sthere.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
People are starting to notice I was actually hopeful
in canada.
It was a little bit moreprogressive in terms of men's
mental health, because it's verysimilar here in the states
where, particularly with men,it's discouraged from them to
talk about their mental health,especially first responders.
That's why I think what you'redoing for military people are so
(37:35):
important, because firstresponders can see a awful
tragedy and they can't talkabout it because if they talk
about it they're perceived asweak, so they just have to suck
it up and move on to the nextthing.
And when I I'm even talkingabout nurses in hospitals, when
they lose patients like theyjust have to go right to the
next patient.
They don't get any sort of timeto process the loss or the
(37:57):
grief.
There's no staff available todo that with them.
I was really hopeful Canada wasbetter, but it sounds like it's
not.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
It's getting there.
It's not horrible, but justthat whole MAID program really
grinds my gears that has beenaround in 2010 and I heard about
it.
I might not even be here, but um, the paramedic, one of the
paramedics that saved my life.
It took me 29 years to find herand, um, I went online.
(38:29):
I just this is my last attempttrying to find this lady.
Um, at the time of my incident,only two percent of paramedics
were female.
Um, so you'd think it wouldhave been easier, because there
was only two on shift that day,but apparently one of them, a
lady that was on my call, shehad, she was in an accident, had
some severe brain injury, soher memory wasn't, but I mean I
(38:52):
didn't give up.
It took me 29 years to find herand now we we text each other
every day.
Oh, that's so nice she's.
We're actually doing anotherbook.
Um, we're writing a booktogether because she's an
illustrator good for you and um,I can't say too much about that
yet, but it's making ambulancesand paramedics less scary for
kids.
So she wants to do that as afundraiser for service dogs for
(39:17):
first responders, so I'll bepassing that right over to her,
so that'll be coming in about ayear.
I'm really taking my time withthat one Cause I think it's
going to be a a one of a kindbook, because you got someone
that almost died and theparamedic that saved them doing
a book together to help firstresponders.
Like that'll be really cool.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
And so you know, so far from the actual event too,
that you were able to track herdown.
That long afterwards, right,but she could have gone anywhere
.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, it went pretty viral.
Like she's in Ontario, I'm inAlberta, which is like basically
you're LA to New York kind ofdistance, and because this
happened to me on the other sideof the country, but yeah, I
guess everybody was messengerLike is this you, is this you,
is this you?
And then her and my daughterhave really clicked they.
They exchanged Christmas giftslast year like little paintings
(40:08):
and stuff.
So it's yeah, it's unreal.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
So you've done two books.
You have a third book on theway you have a, so it's yeah,
it's unreal around then too init, but it also highlights for
those people that may be usingthose services.
Now I hope they hear your storybecause, my god, that I'm just,
I'm really shocked by thatprogram yeah, it's pretty
terrifying.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Some of the it's under review.
Now they're trying to pass somesort of bill, but I kind of I
don't really watch the news, soI just kind of hear what friends
are talking about.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
But that's actually probably a smart thing, because
the news is the large reason whyI think many people in this
country have ptsd.
I mean, sometimes I do thinkit's by design.
In your case it was a scenariothat was outside of your control
.
But I think culturally, in artin our country anyway, there's a
, there's a design to keepingpeople traumatized oh, yeah, for
sure, and also keep them.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I know so many guys are on so many different kind of
medications for it oh yeah, bigpharma runs this country yeah,
well, it's pretty similar uphere.
Like some of the, I know someof the doctors you know they get
bonuses for how much theyprescribe and that kind of stuff
.
But I kind of that's rabbithole.
I did try not to go down.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Exactly.
I'm right there with you.
We can do a whole other episodeon that, did you?
I am curious, though did youhave the same opiate crisis that
we did?
I would imagine you did Right,cause I think there was some
trade into Canada.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I know in mostly in Vancouver, to the west
of me, and in Toronto there'sbig problems with it.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
okay, yeah, but I mean, here I'm in a town of like
3,800 people, so I don't reallykind of see that stuff although
you know I, the town I live in,is a population of like 14 or
1500 and apparently this townhas a reputation for meth
production.
That's what I mean.
I haven't seen any evidence ofmyself, but a lot of people talk
(42:19):
about it, so it's a little.
It's a little concerning.
Dave, thank you so much foragreeing to be on the podcast.
It's really a pleasure to haveyou and I hope you have such a
powerful message of taking aserious tragedy and turning,
turning what happened from itinto all these really possible
altruistic, charitable things,and I think you're amazing.
(42:40):
I wish you a lot of luck inthat journey and can you just
repeat the names of your booksagain for the people who are
listening, in case they want tobuy them, and I'll put the title
in the description as well.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Sure, so the book about PTSD and the fox is just
called in the heart of theforest.
Um, if any of your listenersare spanish and they know it, I
know what.
We have a spanish version, aukrainian version and a french
version coming soon.
So yeah, if they search In theHeart of the Forest on Amazon.
(43:18):
The other book is just calledthe Great Race.
My Daddy and Me, like I said,that one's only $10.
The new one's $12 US.
I keep the prices lower.
I mean, like I said, it's notabout royalties and that kind of
thing.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
for me, and the name of the youtube is you're not
alone, is that correct?
Speaker 1 (43:39):
um, well, if they go to in the in the heart of the
forestcom, that links to theyoutube, um, and the youtube is
just under in the heart of theforest too.
So that's kind of just startingout and we'll see how that goes
okay, and would you be?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
sometimes the listeners will send me with
guest speakers.
They'll send me questions.
Would you be okay, if they didhave any questions for you, if I
screened them and then sendthem on to you?
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Yeah, if they go to intheheartoftheforestcom,
there's a contact me buttonthere.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Oh, okay, perfect Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
That goes right to my email.
I've had a few people reach outthere too.
Actually, I had Santa Clausreading my book last night at
the town festival.
You get an endorsement fromthat guy.
Apparently, if you pick on mybook, rumor has it you're on the
nice list for at least twoyears.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Well, thank you again , dave.
I really appreciate it.
All right, take care, helloeverybody, and thank you again
(44:56):
for listening.
This is just a reminder that nopart of this podcast can be
duplicated or copied withoutwritten consent from either
myself or Wendy.
Thank you again.
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