Reclaiming Your Soul

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Leaving a narcissist is only the beginning of your journey, not the end. What happens when you finally walk away from narcissistic abuse? How do you rebuild when your identity has been systematically dismantled? This raw, honest conversation explores the challenging aftermath that so many survivors face in silence.

The emotional landscape after narcissistic abuse is complex – confusion, grief, and loss tangle together while trauma bonds continue pulling you back toward someone who caused harm. Walking away doesn't magically heal these wounds, but it does mean you've chosen healing over harm. Now begins the real work of reclaiming yourself.

We explore practical steps toward healing: naming the abuse without minimizing it, establishing firm boundaries to protect your peace, reconnecting with your pre-relationship identity, finding appropriate support systems, and practicing radical self-compassion. The inner critic – often echoing your abuser's voice – will be loud during recovery, but healing starts when you replace that critic with kindness toward yourself. Through journaling prompts and power statements, we offer tangible ways to shift from survival mode into genuine freedom and joy.

Healing after a narcissist isn't just about leaving them behind – it's about rediscovering the woman who is inherently worthy of love, peace, and radiance. Your story isn't over; it's just beginning. Whether you're in the midst of recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode provides the compassionate guidance needed to move forward with hope and purpose.

 Power statement for today:

“Healing after a narcissist isn’t just about leaving them behind. It’s about rediscovering YOU—the woman who is worthy of love, peace, and radiance.”

Journaling Prompts for Listeners
What part of my identity feels most lost after this relationship?

What boundaries can I set this week to protect my healing?

What small act of self-compassion can I give myself today?

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Radiance.
I'm Lisa, your catalyst life,wellness, and transformation
coach and real estate agent inthe state of Minnesota.
Last week, we opened up with oneof the hardest and most
important conversations I've hadin probably my two years of
podcasting, living with andleaving a narcissist.

(00:24):
The messages that I havereceived since that episode tell
me one thing.
So many of you needed thisconversation.
And today I want to take it onestep further.
Because leaving isn't just theend of the story.

(00:47):
This episode is about whathappens after you walk away, how
you can reclaim your voice, yourself-worth, your power.
How do you stop replaying theabuse in your mind and finally
start living free?

(01:10):
So let's recap last episode.
And um, we can so we can quicklyground ourselves.
We talked about the differencebetween narcissistic tendencies
like someone being self-absorbedand needing attention, or we
also talked about narcissisticpersonality disorder, which is

(01:32):
diagnosable, deeply ingrainedcondition that creates cycles of
manipulation and abuse.
We broke down the common signsof narcissistic abuse, like
gaslighting, manipulation, lovebombing, and control.
And we acknowledged the reasonwhy women stay longer than they

(01:57):
want to, because of fear, guilt,shame, financial independence,
and sometimes even hope thatthat person will change.
And we honored the sheer couragethat it takes to leave.
So if you missed that episode,please go back and listen to it.

(02:20):
It really truly lays thefoundation for what we're going
to dive into today.
So we're going to talk about theaftermath of narcissistic
relationships.
Walking away doesn't flip amagic switch.
Emotionally, you will feelconfused, grief, or even loss.

(02:50):
And all of those can be tangledtogether.
You may feel like you've lostyour identity because the
narcissist often makes sure yourworld revolves around them.
Then there's the trauma bonds.

(03:12):
That confusing attachment thatkeeps pulling you back towards
someone who caused harm.

But here's the truth (03:30):
walking away doesn't mean the wounds
will disappear.
It means you've chosen healingover harm, but healing is a
process.
So now we're going to take somesteps towards healing.

(03:54):
So before you begin, I want tobring some things to light that
we really need to think aboutwhile we're healing.
Awareness.
What does that mean?
That means calling it what itwas.
Say the word.
Say abuse.

(04:16):
It was real, you weren'timagining it.
So say it.
Boundaries.
Boundaries are healing thatrequires protecting your peace.
That may mean cutting offcontact, blocking numbers, or

(04:38):
simply saying no without anexplanation.
Rebuilding identity.

I want you to ask yourself (04:48):
who was I before this relationship?
Who do I want to become now?
Start exploring that womanagain.
Start exploring who deep downinside you are.

(05:13):
Support.
Whether it's therapy, coaching,or trusted friends, and I mean
trusted friends, you can't dothis alone.
Because healing absolutely lovescommunity.

(05:34):
Self-compassion.
That is something we allstruggle with.
So be kind to yourself.
Because the inner critic in yourhead will be so incredibly loud
after that.
But healing starts when youreplace that critic with

(05:58):
compassion.
When you replace those wordsthat you're saying to yourself
in your head with the opposite,the positive.
And that's where I talk a lotabout in some of my other
episodes of keeping a tabletwith you in the car or with you

(06:20):
for 24 hours.
And every time you have one ofthose negative thoughts that
just keeps saying itself loudand clear in your head, I want
you to write that word downbecause I truly think that after
the 24 hours, you're going tohave certain words that really

(06:41):
stand out to you.
And you're going to be able totake those words and reframe
them into a positive light.
The other thing I have beentaught is when you say something
to yourself or you thinksomething about yourself, or
your brain is just going, going,going, is I want you to name it

(07:09):
and then put a jar somewhere byyou, or you could just name it,
acknowledge it, and stuff itaway for later thoughts.
Because you've called it out,you've named it.
That's all part of your healing.

(07:32):
That's how you live beyond thenarcissist.
So let's dream bigger.
You can create new patterns oftrust and love with others as
well as yourself.
And the ones with yourself aregoing to be the most important.
You can redefine what healthyrelationships look like, um,

(07:57):
where there's mutual respect,safety, and joy are all the
baseline of the relationship.
And you can shift from survivalmode into freedom, joy, and
purpose.
So here's your power statementfor today.

(08:20):
Healing after a narcissist isn'tjust about leaving them behind,
it's about rediscovering you,the woman who is worthy of love,
peace, and radiance.
That is your power statement fortoday.
Healing after a narcissist isn'tjust about leaving them behind.

(08:42):
It's about rediscovering you,the woman who is worthy of love,
peace, and radiance.
And then I have some journalingprompts for you.
One, what part of my identityfeels lost after this
relationship?

(09:04):
Two, what boundaries can I setthis week to protect my healing?
Three, what small act ofcompassion can I give myself
today?
There's that self-love.
There it is.
There's so much that you can doin terms of self-love.

(09:31):
And at this time in your lifewhen you make this decision, you
need to give yourself so muchcompassion, set your boundaries,
and give yourself self-love.

(09:52):
Because it's going to be hard,it's going to be challenging,
but you got this.
So, friend, if you are walkingthis journey right now, I want
you to know that you are notalone.

(10:13):
Healing after a narcissist isone of the bravest things you
can do.
And every step you take forward,reclaiming yourself is a step
into freedom.
If today's episode, albeit ashort one, spoke to your heart,

(10:34):
please, please, please share itwith a friend who needs it.
And if you are ready to divedeeper into healing, into
forgiveness, I invite you tocheck out my forgiveness course.
It is designed to help womenlike you release pain and step

(10:56):
into peace.
Your story isn't over.
It's just the beginning.
See you on the next episode.