August 7, 2024 • 41 mins
Micro-actions to manifest big change is key because we can often feel overwhelmed by the changes we want to make in our own life, let alone the change we’d like to see in the world. The best part is micro-actions naturally build on themselves. First and most obviously, they provide momentum as you do the next thing and then the next thing. Second, they teach our brain what to focus on, so we notice more opportunities to access or create what we want. Understanding how our brain relates to our behavior can allow you to take small, totally doable steps that will naturally move you forward.
In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Taina Brown (she/her) to join me in a conversation around using micro-actions to manifest big change in your life and in the world.
Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:
- Building momentum to manifest what you want
- Hacking your brain’s algorithm
- Feeding abundance vs scarcity
- Identifying a micro-action to take
LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
How to Manifest What you Want
Reclaiming Creativity and Healing Through Art
Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown
CONNECT WITH TAINA:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Valerie Friedlander (00:00):
Hello, my friends, and welcome to another
(00:02):
episode of unlimited. Today, weare talking about micro actions
to manifest big change. There isso much going on in the world,
and it is really easy for peoplewho are passionate about making
a difference to feeloverwhelmed. Where do you even
(00:23):
start? And it's important whenwe can recognize that starting
somewhere is better thanstarting nowhere, and there is
no perfect way to take action,and so many of the issues in our
world and in our lives areinterconnected, so pulling on
one thread impacts all theothers, and yet, we are living
(00:50):
in systems that are constantlypulling and draining our
capacity, and it is reallydifficult because we want To
maximize our energy. We want tomake the biggest difference,
biggest bang for the buck, as itwere, because we only have so
much capacity available to dothe things, whether it is money,
(01:13):
time, energy, mental, emotional,spiritual, whatever we're
talking about in terms ofcapacity, all of the above, we
want to make sure that we aredoing the most we can with what
we have, and that can beoverwhelming. I have talked
(01:36):
about manifestation before, butI heard my friend Taina talking
about this on an Instagram Liveshe did. And I was like, we we
need to talk. I need to bringher on. This is so important.
She was talking about this ideaof micro actions and how to
engage a micro action, andthinking about manifestation and
(02:00):
making a difference. And I waslike, All right, we need to talk
about this. So that's what thisepisode is all about. Taina is a
feminist life coach and thoughtpartner for burned out and busy
millennials. She's an eldermillennial herself, a Jeopardy
enthusiast and dog mom to doggyinfluencers in her spare time,
(02:22):
and with the help of hercommunity, she's building a
world where people don't feelthe need to live busy and burned
out lives, laugh in the face ofimposter syndrome and generally
stick it to the man. You canfind her ranting sometimes and
raving, mostly on Instagram andin her email newsletter to her
community. You can also find heron her new podcast with Becky
(02:46):
mullencamp called Messyliberation, which I hope you'll
check out, because it's awesome,and I'm sure you can see from
her bio why we would get along.
So I will have links in the shownotes to all the things as a
reminder this podcast islistener supported, and I've
recently switched everythingover from buy me a coffee to
(03:09):
Kofi. So that's k, O dash, F, II'll have a link to that in the
show notes as well. Part of whatI'm offering with Kofi is
there's a membership optionwhere you can become a regular
supporter of the podcast. Youcan also do a one time support
(03:31):
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guests also available to listento when you become a member of
the podcast or an regularsubscriber for the podcast
(03:54):
through ko fi, so if that issomething you're interested in
and you aren't on my email list.
One, I encourage you to join theemail list, and two, become a
supporter of the podcast. Itreally makes a huge difference,
both in the production costs forthe podcast, as well as my
(04:17):
ability to continue withoffering the things that I offer
in an accessible way. Socommunity support is key. So
with all that said, I'm superexcited to share this
conversation with you, and now,without further ado, let's get
started. Hey there. I'm ValerieFriedlander, Certified Life
(04:39):
business alignment coach, andthis is unlimited. This podcast
bridges the individual and thesocietal, scientific and
spiritual, positive andnegative, nerdy and no, there's
just a lot of nerdy. Come onboard. And let's unlock a light
that's as badass as you are.
You. Music.
(05:07):
Welcome Taina, I'm so excited tohave you on unlimited
Taina Brown (05:10):
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Valerie,
I've been looking forward tothis for for a few weeks now. So
yeah, excited!
Valerie Friedlander (05:17):
Me too.
This is a topic that I reallylove, and your take on it is
just so cool. So as we dive in,let me ask you, what is a limit
that you took for granted thatyou have since unlearned?
Taina Brown (05:34):
So, I think the biggest thing that comes to mind
for me is that feeling of beingokay with the status quo, like
when you're just kind of goingabout the rat race your day to
day, you're so busy, you kind oftake for granted the fact that
this is your life. You don'tthink twice about it. You don't
(05:56):
think twice about the thingsthat you're doing. And I
remember the moment that Irealized that there's more to
life than just being busy andlike doing what people expect of
you all the time. And to befair, I will say, I've always
kind of been the kind of personto challenge the status quo in a
(06:21):
way, and that's like the pettyside of me. Like, if someone
told me that I couldn't dosomething, I'd be like, Well,
why not? I'm gonna do it anyway.
The rebelliousness, right,right, right, which can be
healthy to a certain extent, butI didn't have the sense for a
long time about how to applythat sense of rebellion to what
was considered normal life, orjust like the expected
(06:45):
trajectory of life for people,right? Like the expected
trajectory is you graduate highschool, you go to college, or
you learn a trade, or you findsomeone, you fall in love, you
get married, you have kids, youbuy a house, all these like,
quote, unquote, milestones thatpeople just fall into the rhythm
of. And so that's kind ofsomething that I took for
(07:10):
granted for a really long time.
And then when I realized, oh, itcan actually be different. It
was like, Whoa, once you startthinking that way, like you
can't stop thinking that way.
You can't stop thinking howthings could be different, what
actually are the possibilities,and not saying that those things
are bad, but I think it'simportant to interrogate if
(07:32):
those things are aligned foryou, because they could be good
for some people, but not goodfor you, depending on your
values, depending on the kind oflifestyle you really want to
live, how creative you are, howmuch freedom you feel like you
need in your day to day. Like,if you're a super creative
person, and you feel like youneed just like, 100% freedom
(07:55):
every day, like sitting at adesk for eight hours Monday
through Friday is probably notthe best place for you, right?
So that was something that wasjust like, it was like going
from black and white to colorfor me.
Valerie Friedlander (08:12):
Yeah, I love that you said that, because
that is the big part of mystory. I followed it through to
like and the timeline.
Everything like, married in my20s, kids in my 30s, had the
house, all the things, and atthat point it was like, Wait a
second, something's wrong. Idon't feel successful. I don't
feel like I made it. I feeloverwhelmed and stressed out and
(08:33):
like, what the hell justhappened? Yeah. And so what I
hear and what you're saying ischoice, yes, because I didn't
even think about it being achoice like it was like, of
course, this is what I want.
This is what everybody wants.
This is the way you're supposedto do it.
Taina Brown (08:48):
Yeah, that sense of agency. Yeah, absolutely. And so
you move from responding to lifeto actually choosing your life
and making decisions that aregoing to help you build the kind
of life that you choose to wantor choose to live, as opposed to
just responding to all theselike external factors and all
(09:12):
these external expectations.
There's such a sense of power inthat that again, once you wake
up to that, like you can't belike, Oh, I'm just gonna go back
to sleep about this. Because,yeah, like you can feel that
way. It definitely feels thatway sometimes, right? Like,
sometimes there is a burden inagency that we feel sometimes
Valerie Friedlander (09:32):
You want to go back into the matrix,
Unknown (09:36):
Right, right. It's like ignorance is bliss. Why did I
ever wake up? It's like wakingup to the horrors of the world.
And it's like, Oh, I wish Icould just forget how horrible
things are sometimes, but tointentionally choose to want to
go back to sleep or to ignorethat stuff is is giving up your
power. And once I had a taste ofof that sense of agency, it was
(09:59):
like. Like, Wait, you mean I candecide for myself. I don't have
to do what my parents said wasthe right thing to do, or what
for me at the time, because Igrew up in church, what my youth
pastor said was the right thingto do, or what my friends think
are the right thing to do. Andagain, not that any of those
things are bad. They justweren't for me. And so it's
(10:21):
about deciding for yourself,like, what is for you.
Valerie Friedlander (10:25):
So that thing that you said about
basically interrogating, likethere were certain things that
didn't get questioned, therewere other things that did get
questioned, but then I questionlike, What got questioned and
what didn't get questioned? Andthat's when, you know, you look
at like, what am I justautomatically assuming is versus
what am I willing to question?
Like, I'm willing to question mycareer, but am I willing to
(10:46):
question that? It will be in acorporate office, right? I'm
willing to question my lovelife, but am I willing to
question whether I'm gettingmarried or not with that? You
know, I'm willing to questionwhere I live, but am I willing
to question if it's just me in ahouse versus in a community,
(11:07):
right? Like there's so manythings,
Taina Brown (11:11):
yeah
Valerie Friedlander (11:11):
and I think to go back to sleep not only
means saying yes to your ownoppression, but to being
complicit in the impression ofothers.
Taina Brown (11:19):
Absolutely, absolutely. That's such a good
point. I love how you frame thatright there. And I think with
the questioning part, we can goeven deeper, right? We can say,
you know, I'm willing toquestion my love life, but am I
willing to questionheteronormativity, right? I'm
willing to question where Ilive, but am I willing to
question class privilege and howwealth and power get distributed
(11:44):
among people. I'm willing toquestion my career. But am I
willing to question how somepeople are unable to advance in
their career because of systemicracism or implicit bias? Right?
And so the more awake you getright in quotation marks, right,
(12:05):
the deeper these questionsbecome, because the more you
start to see things in adifferent way, the more you're
exposed to how things operateand how things function around
you. And it really is likewaking up outside of the matrix.
Valerie Friedlander (12:22):
And it seems like I know one of the
things that I've experiencedwith that experience is
overwhelm. Oh my gosh. Now thereare too many possibilities.
Taina Brown (12:32):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (12:33):
There are too many options, and I don't
even know where to start, whichcan activate freeze response or
a fight response. And so this isone of the things that you
talked about when we weretalking about manifestation. You
know, especially if you've beenfed the message that
manifestation is how you thinkabout things, right? Law of
(12:53):
Attraction is based in, like,just the way you think and the
way you feel about stuff. Andyou got to be positive and to
go, well, well, I'm definitelynot feeling positive right now.
I'm feeling completelyoverwhelmed, right and so we
have to question that and pullthat apart, because it isn't
just about thinking about it,it's about the actions that go
(13:15):
along with that. And I talkabout that in one of my episodes
from a while back, how tomanifest what you want, and you
engage this at another level ofprocessing about how our brains
work, and you step out of thatoverwhelm space into those micro
actions that can build into bigchange. So you're like, oh my
(13:37):
gosh, it all needs to change.
There are too many problems. Idon't even know where to start,
so just burn it all down tolike, Well, okay, that's not
realistic. And that's like, Ican't. So I would love for you
to share a little bit aboutlike, what do you do then?
Taina Brown (13:54):
Yeah, well, let's start with the actual word,
manifesting. It's a verb. So ifwe even just get down to like,
the etymology of the word, itimplies action. And we could
argue that thinking is anaction. But what we know about
verbs from what we learned aboutgrade school is there's movement
(14:16):
in actions. It's not just theact of thinking. It's like there
has to be actual momentum thatcomes from that. There has to be
movement that comes from that.
And the thing that really helpedme understand, or the several
things that really helped meunderstand manifestation,
because, listen, I'm a verypragmatic person. I'm a
Capricorn sun, Virgo rising,Pisces moon. I have a lot of
(14:40):
Earth in my chart, so I'm justlike, I need to see the
evidence, like, where's theaction? I'm not a super woo, woo
kind of person. I am a spiritualperson, and I do believe in
energy, and I have my crystalsand my tarot and oracle decks
and all of that, but I like tomarry that with a lot of
practice. Dogmatism. And so whenI first started hearing about
(15:02):
manifestation, I was like, oh,that's some Okey dokey stuff.
I'm like, that's for people whoare, like, Good Vibes only,
dude, you know? And I'm like,and that's not me. I've seen too
much of the world to ascribe to,you know, the the good vibes
only crowd. But what really madea difference for me, and what
really helped me understandmanifestation was when I was
going through some of mytraining as a coach, and the
(15:24):
person that I was training underduring a workshop, they talked
about the reticular activatingsystem. And the reticular
activating system is a part inyour brain that helps you sort
information, and this is a partof your brain that tells you,
oh, it's light outside, it'stime to wake up. It's dark
(15:44):
outside, it's time to go to bed.
This is the part of your brainthat, if you're learning or
you're studying something, ithelps you sort that information
so you can absorb it. And theway that your reticular
activating system works byhelping you sort that
information like you canactively use it to help control
(16:08):
the kind of information you wantit to sort. Because if you've
ever heard of Adrian Marie brownan emergent strategy. She has a
principle in emergent strategycalled what you pay attention to
grows and so the way yourreticular activating system,
it's wrapped up in thatprinciple, what you pay
attention to grows. So if you'veever seen a garment or a pair of
(16:31):
shoes or a vehicle, and you'rejust like, I really love those
shoes. They're too expensiveright now, but I'm going to save
up money to buy them one day,because that's that's always my
go to every time I likesomething, I'm like way out of
my budget, I need to save upmoney for it. So and then all of
a sudden, you start seeing thoseshoes everywhere. You see them
on TV. You are out at arestaurant and you see somebody
(16:54):
wearing those pair of shoes. Youare at a festival, and three
people have those shoes on. Theykeep popping up on the TV shows
or on Instagram or social mediaor whatever. Sure the algorithm
is listening to you. But alsowhat you've done is by telling
your brain these shoes areimportant to me, this
information is important to me.
Now, your reticular activatingsystem has taken that
(17:17):
information, and what it's doingis it is filtering out all the
other shoes that are not thoseshoes that you really want. So
that way, when those shoes dopop up, it's easier for you to
notice them. So it's not likeall of a sudden the universe is
conspiring to, like, help yousee these shoes everywhere you
(17:39):
go like you can attribute it tothat, if you want Sure. But
there's actually someneuroscience happening there.
It's your brain helping youfilter information so you can
focus on the things that youhave decided are important to
you. So when you're feelingoverwhelmed, when you're feeling
like the problems of the worldor even your own personal
(18:00):
problems are just too big, tooheavy, and you don't know what
to focus on. You don't know whatto do. You're feeling stuck,
you're you're trapped in thatflight or fight or freeze or
fall and response. What you cando is you can decide to take one
small action. You can tell yourbrain, okay, all of that big
(18:21):
stuff over there is too much forme right now. What I'm going to
focus on right now is just thisone really small thing that's
going to help you build a littlebit of momentum. So for
instance, let's use a verypractical example, right? Like,
let's say you have a mountain ofdebt, and you're trying to get
out of debt, and you've beenignoring it for so long, and
(18:44):
you're just like, You know what?
I'm going to put in $1 every dayinto this one credit card that's
365 extra dollars a year. Well,mathematically, that will add
up, right? That will snowball.
That's going to help to bringyour balance down, which is
going to decrease the amount ofinterest that you have to pay on
(19:07):
the balance. But what it's alsodoing for your brain is now
you're going to be thinking, Oh,I am doing an extra dollar every
day, but maybe one day you'refeeling great, and you're just
like, Oh, I just found fiveextra dollars in these jeans
that I'm about to wash. So now Ihave $5 in cash. And because
you're you have trained yourbrain to think about building
(19:30):
momentum towards decreasing thatdebt. Now you might be more
inclined to say, well, since Ifound this $5 in cash, I'm going
to do six extra dollars todayinstead of the five, right? So
it's about taking these littlemicro actions that once stacked
up really helped to buildmomentum. And it's really not
(19:51):
about when you are feelingoverwhelmed or when things feel
too big. It's really not abouttackling those big things. Is
it's about what small action canyou take today that's going to
slowly shift you away from thatfeeling of overwhelm, from that
feeling of heaviness?
Valerie Friedlander (20:11):
Yeah, I love that on so many levels,
because taking it into thatpractical space of this matters
to me. I mean, it's basicallyreaffirming This is what
matters. Which makes me think ofwhat you said at the beginning
of that, interrogating whatyou're focused on, interrogating
(20:31):
those things that youautomatically do, because, why
do they matter? You know, dothey matter because I was told
that they matter, or do theymatter? Because they actually
matter, and what about themmatters? I almost think like,
when you feel that sense ofoverwhelm, of like, I need to
take action, to really hone inon what that needs to be, is to
(20:52):
say, like, what matters here,you know that relief that I'll
have from getting rid of thedebt, that's what matters. So,
oh, I'm going to think aboutlike, oh, I have this money.
Instead of like, oh, I can justspend it. I'm looking for that
relief of not carrying more onmy back so I can lighten that
(21:12):
burden that I hold.
Taina Brown (21:14):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (21:15):
So that makes sense. I also want to note
that I'm also a Virgo rising. Soeverything you said about, you
know, I used to say that I'm alittle bit of Woo and a lot of
science, because I'm very muchthe energy, and yet, give me
what I can do with that, like weneed action steps, because the
action steps also build thatmomentum so that you're then
(21:38):
reaffirming This is whatmatters. This is what matters.
But so I would imagine this isalso like what feeds into some
of the status quo things isbecause we're constantly being
fed. This is what matters. Thisis what matters. And we don't
even think, yeah, to questionit. So it's not like your
reticulating activating systemisn't doing anything until you
go, Hey, do it. It's being ableto choose how you're feeding it.
Taina Brown (22:04):
Yes, absolutely, yeah. So, and it takes us back
to that whole conversation aboutagency and choice, right? Like
you can think of your reticularactivating system as the
algorithm of your brain, right?
And so one thing that I like totell my some of my clients
sometimes when they're justlike, Yeah, I was just on social
media Doom strolling, and it'sjust so overwhelming. And it's
like, okay, I understand that,but we also train the algorithm
(22:26):
on what kind of content andinformation to give us. And this
is funny, because, like,sometimes I'll see influencers
who will post comments fromtrolls, and they're just like,
hey, thanks for boosting myreach, right? And don't you know
that you commenting, whetheryou're trolling or not on my
stuff, is just going to keepgiving you my stuff because
you're engaging with it. And sowhen you choose to, as opposed
(22:49):
to, just like, let the algorithmof your brain just respond to
all these external things, andyou're just like, No, I'm going
to choose today, right? You canjust start today. This doesn't
have to be a long term projecteither. Like this isn't this
big, magical thing that you needto deconstruct today. You can
decide for yourself today, I'mgoing to choose to focus on
(23:12):
abundance rather than scarcity.
And you take one small action.
You say, the way that I'm goingto do that is I'm going to
Google abundance, right? Or I'mgoing to search for an abundance
coach on Instagram or on Tiktok.
I'm a millennial, so I'm like,always on Instagram. I don't
(23:33):
even understand Tiktok.
Valerie Friedlander (23:35):
I keep trying. I'm like, I know how to
do a real so I just post that toTiktok, right?
Taina Brown (23:40):
It's the same thing, right? Completely
different algorithm. But, yeah,you can just decide, I'm just
going to do this one smallthing. I'm going to Google this,
or I'm going to search for thison social media, or, you know,
I'm going to buy a book onabundance, or go to my library
and was your section on wealthor finances or whatever. And
(24:01):
those small steps, that littlething right there, you triggered
your reticular activatingsystem. The work is done at that
point. Now, all you have to dofrom that moment on is pay
attention when your reticularactivating system starts feeding
you things about abundance,because what's going to happen
(24:21):
is when you do that, it's notlike all the things about
scarcity in your lifeautomatically go away. They're
still there.
Valerie Friedlander (24:29):
Your debt doesn't suddenly disappear.
Taina Brown (24:31):
Exactly. Now you just have to choose what you pay
attention to. So you read thatbook, you check out that book
from the library, you do thatsearch on social media or on
Google. Now you're going tostart seeing people talking
about abundance online, inperson, at the bookstore. Now
you just pay attention to thosethings, and as you pay attention
(24:53):
to those things, then what youdo is you figure out what of
those things are most value.
Values aligned for you, becausenot everything is going to be
super aligned with your values,right? Just because you are
opening up yourself to the ideaof abundance doesn't mean that
every single thing aboutabundance out there is going to
be a good fit for you. So nowyou have to do the work of
(25:14):
paying attention and figuringout, okay, out of these five
things that I've noticed thispast week, which one is the most
helpful for me based on mysituation, my values and the
kind of future I see for myself.
And then you can narrow in thefocus even more, and then that
(25:36):
starts to build more momentum.
The more you get narrow in,narrowed in on your focus, the
more momentum you begin to see.
Valerie Friedlander (25:44):
Yeah, and it helps direct those pieces of
action. And there's so manywords that get thrown around in
so many ways, like abundance. Iappreciate that you tie in that
what angle we're looking atabundance. Are we looking at
individual abundance? Are welooking at collective abundance?
Taina Brown (26:02):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Valerie Friedlander (26:03):
So, I'm looking for abundance. I'm
seeking abundance. And so theinformation that I'm taking in,
is this rooted in individualabundance, or is this rooted in
collective abundance? Are wetalking energetic abundance in
terms of, like, time abundance?
Are we talking money abundance?
Are we talking about like,
Taina Brown (26:19):
Relationships?
Valerie Friedlander (26:20):
Yeah, exactly. And like, what does
that feel like to startexploring, if I felt abundant,
what would that look like? Andwe talked a little bit about the
idea of taking conscious actionrooted in what our values are,
helps harness our personalpower, because especially if
(26:44):
we're willing to continue tointerrogate and check in, it's
not just like, okay, you know,it's not like a roller coaster.
I got on the car and it's justgonna go I got on the abundance
roller coaster. So hold ontight.
Taina Brown (26:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (26:56):
It's more like we were climbing a mountain
or we're hiking a trail orwhatever. But so each step
matters.
Taina Brown (27:04):
yeah
Valerie Friedlander (27:04):
And so each step is an opportunity to
harness our personal power.
Taina Brown (27:10):
Yes!
Valerie Friedlander (27:11):
You know, each step is a place to think,
Okay, where am I putting myfoot? What does that look like?
How am I putting my foot there?
And I wonder what counts as amicro action, you know? And I
think you kind of addressedthat, but I I'm wondering about
exploring that a little bitfurther, because I also feel
like I know that I get caughtup, especially when I'm feeling
(27:31):
in the overwhelm space like thependulum has swung. I was like,
over here, and now I'm like,over here, and what I tend to
fixate on is fear of the wrongthing,
Taina Brown (27:43):
hmm.
Valerie Friedlander (27:44):
It is framed in my head as I want to
take the right action.
Taina Brown (27:48):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (27:48):
You know the the one that puts me on the
roller coaster I want to takethe action that puts me on the
roller coaster that just goes,
Taina Brown (27:54):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (27:54):
And that, knowing that there isn't one of
those really, but I want thereto be. I have been conditioned
to think that there is so thatoverwhelm space sets me in the
mind of I want to take the rightaction. And I think the idea of
micro actions makes it smaller,but they all feel like macro
(28:16):
actions in that space.
Taina Brown (28:18):
Yeah, they do. They do. When you are in a place of
overwhelm or burnout, everythingfeels big. Everything feels like
a big decision. And I wasliterally just telling a client
today, because she's waiting tohear back about this job, and
they've kind of been stringingher along for a little bit. And
they were like, you'll hear bythe end of June. And we were
(28:41):
talking, we're like, today'sliterally the end of June. This
is totally gonna date thispodcast, but today's literally
the end of June because Mondayis July and today is Friday. So
I was like, Well, what are yourplans this weekend? And she was
like, Well, I'm gonna work onsome other job applications,
just in case this one doesn'tcome through, even though it
feels like it will. And I waslike, well, would it be a better
(29:06):
idea to not work on those jobapplications? Because if you
don't hear from them today, andyou have to wait until Monday to
either hear from them or followup and working on job stuff all
weekend like that's just goingto exacerbate that feeling of
frustration. And she was like,Yeah, you're right. And I was
like, okay, so what micro actioncan you take this weekend to
(29:29):
just move you from a place offrustration into a place of joy
and rest and pleasure? And shestarted listing these things.
And I was like, You know whatsometimes a micro action is a
nap.
Valerie Friedlander (29:42):
I love that you said that because so often I
think that is the micro actionthat I need when I'm in that
space.
Taina Brown (29:48):
Yeah, like when you're so overwhelmed and, like,
frustrated and burnt out,sometimes you just need to sit
your ass down and take a nap,right? And so my point with that
is the way that I define a microaction, and I think the best way
to define a micro action is,what is the action that I can
take today that is going to moveme away from this feeling that I
(30:13):
don't want or this space that Idon't want to be in, but isn't
going to require extra laborfrom me, or too much extra labor
from me. So at that point, youreally have to understand where
your energy is. How much energydo I actually have to take
action right now? Because ifyour battery is at like 10% that
(30:36):
means you cannot take a microaction that's going to require
12% of you because you don'thave it in you. If your
battery's at 10% a micro actionis something that's going to
require, I would say no morethan 5% of you, because then
that still leaves you with 5% inyour battery for unexpected
(30:57):
things that life is going tothrow at you, for your family,
for your relationships, foreating dinner, for taking a
shower, for all these littlethings that we still have to do
every day. So that's that's howI like to define a micro action.
What is the best action that Ican take right now that isn't
going to exacerbate my capacity.
Valerie Friedlander (31:21):
I love that. That makes so much sense.
And you know, since we werespeaking of abundance, I think
that reminder also that if we'retrying to build abundance,
taking a nap is an action thatis an abundant action. So we
have so many stories in oursociety about, oh, that's lazy.
Oh, you're not trying hardenough. No, that's actually an
(31:43):
abundant action.
Taina Brown (31:45):
Yeah. It's restorative.
Valerie Friedlander (31:47):
Yeah. And that reminds me of that
juxtaposition of, you know, workhard, play hard, and if you are
not doing doings,
Taina Brown (31:57):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (31:58):
That those are the things that are
important when we're thinkingabout like, what we're doing,
and it's like, no, actually, weneed the restorative part too.
So it's a good reminder that arestorative practice is also a
micro action.
Taina Brown (32:13):
Yeah, because it's it's stacking up that energy,
right? It's stacking up thatmomentum to just fill you up, as
opposed to depleting you,because so much of the world
that we live in is extractive,and so it depletes us, sometimes
quickly, sometimes slowly. Andso anything that's restorative
is going to help you buildmomentum, because it's the
(32:35):
opposite of that, that cycle ofextraction.
Valerie Friedlander (32:40):
Thank you for that reminder. So with that
in mind, one of my wrap upquestions is, what does it mean
to you to be unlimited? And Iknow this conversation has
definitely gives me that feel,and I would love to know your
(33:01):
answer to that question.
Taina Brown (33:03):
Yeah, I think the best way that I can describe
feeling unlimited and livingUnlimited is remaining curious
about things. When I think aboutcuriosity, I think about
children and usually when wetalk about children, we talk
(33:24):
about them as having unlimitedpotential, unlimited creativity,
unlimited possibilities. Andsomewhere along the way, as we
grow up and we start to fitourselves into these boxes of
what it means to be a humanbeing, we lose that. And
curiosity is really thecornerstone of creativity, of
(33:47):
potential, of possibility. Likeyou cannot explore possibilities
without remaining curious. Youjust cannot. And if you are
having trouble tapping into yourcuriosity, you need to find a
way to get back there. Spendsome time with children. I'm
(34:08):
sure someone in your family haskids, or some friends have
children. Go to a museum, go toan art show, do an exercise for
the sake of doing it, not fordoing it right, not for having a
specific expectation or outcomein mind, like, sometimes I will
doodle, I'm not an I'm not anartist. Like, I can't draw to
save my life. But sometimes Iwill doodle just for the sake of
(34:32):
doodling, right, just to, like,express some type of creativity,
just to tap into that curiosity.
And I am still and alwayssurprised at how that sense of
exploration helps me generateideas. Helps me generate
solutions to problems that I'mhaving, ideas for my business,
(34:54):
ideas that help my friends. Zeromy family, right? And it's
because I've able to slow downand just kind of stretch that
part of my brain.
Valerie Friedlander (35:07):
Yeah, oh, that's good. And, and actually,
what you said really reminds meI did a podcast interview with
Krishna a little bit ago wherewe talked about creativity and
tapping into that and doingsomething just because yeah, and
I remember my mom, when I wasyoung, talking about doing
something that that you weren'tgood at, or doing something that
(35:31):
was counter to what you wouldnormally do. Just to shake it up
a little bit, you know, ifyou're somebody who always wears
makeup, go out without makeup onright, like, yeah, do something
that changes the dynamics thatyou're used to, so that you
experience things a little bitdifferently,
Taina Brown (35:48):
yeah, yeah, it's stretching those growth edges,
right?
Valerie Friedlander (35:52):
Yeah,
Taina Brown (35:53):
Yeah. Your mom is a wise woman.
Valerie Friedlander (35:55):
She is. I was very blessed in her... she
was doing a lot of learning, butI think, you know, to all the
moms out there who are doinglearning, who are listening and
looking to grow, I think it'simportant to remember that it's
not about being perfect. It'sabout being willing to speak to
doing something different andquestioning. That you know, when
(36:18):
you start to embody curiosity,
Taina Brown (36:20):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (36:20):
it has an impact in how your children feel
that is accessible and continuesto be accessible, because you're
so right about the as you getolder, those things that we just
start to take for granted, thatidea that we have to reach for
our potential, and what thatlooks like, right? Because I
thought the potential was thebox that we talked about at the
(36:42):
very beginning of the episode.
Taina Brown (36:43):
Absolutely.
Valerie Friedlander (36:44):
Yeah, right, that that was reaching my
potential, not like askingquestions and being curious and
expansive. So, yeah, I thinkthat's important.
Taina Brown (36:53):
It is, and it helps you be curious about the world
and people too, right? Likethere are people that I don't
want to be friends with, but mycuriosity is like, what would
make them be this way? What'stheir backstory? And that helps
develop empathy? You know?
Valerie Friedlander (37:13):
Yes, absolutely, it's a core
component. So as far as gettingto know people. Where can people
get to know more about you?
Taina Brown (37:24):
Yeah, so you can find me mostly on Instagram. I'm
on Instagram far too often thanI'd like to admit, but as a
true, true millennial, so myinstagram handle is my name, so
it's at Taina dot. M like Marydot, brown, like the color. And
so my the way you spell, my nameis T, A, I N, A, like that
(37:46):
Nickelodeon show that was aroundfor like one season, way back
when, for all my Millennials outthere. You know what I'm talking
about. And then I'm also onLinkedIn, and it's just Tina and
brown, no dots in between myname or the middle initial. And
then you can also just find meat my website, where there's
more information about what I doand how I support people, and
(38:07):
there's a free guide on how tolive a really values aligned
life when you go to my websiteand sign up for my email list,
and that's TainaMBrown.com soeverywhere is a variation of my
name, everywhere you can findme. So you can just Google Taina
M Brown and all those thingswill pop up.
Valerie Friedlander (38:27):
Gotta keep it simple,
Taina Brown (38:29):
Yes.
Valerie Friedlander (38:29):
And I will have links in the show notes, so
y'all can actually just even goclick and check it out.
Taina Brown (38:38):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (38:38):
So as my final wrap up question for the
unlimited playlist, What song doyou listen to when you want to
access that unlimited feeling?
Taina Brown (38:49):
Yeah, so there's actually a song that I came
across. And I remember when wetalked about this initially, I
was like, oh, it's going to beso hard to pick just one song,
because I like to createplaylists that, like, hype me
up. And it's something that Iencourage my clients to do also,
especially if they're, like,getting ready for a job
interview or for a presentation,like, create a hype playlist to
(39:12):
just kind of get yourself hypedup. Be your own hype person. But
there is one song that'scompletely random that I came
across a TV show on Netflix, thechilling Adventures of Sabrina.
And if you're familiar with thatshow at all, it's one of my
favorites. So campy, I love it.
But this song is called a littlewicked by Valerie Broussard. I
think it's how you pronounce herlast name. And I don't listen to
(39:36):
it often, but I do have it likeon a Halloween playlist that I
listen to every year, and everytime it comes on, I'm just like,
Oh, this feels so delicious, sodelicious because there's a line
in the song that says somethingabout, like, No one calls you
trouble, or no one basically thethe premise is like, when
(39:57):
you're. On a throne, like peopledon't mess with you, right? Like
they know not to mess with you.
And so when I listen to thatsong, I'm just like, yes, my
power, my power. And like I havemy own throne, you know, like I
have my own sense of, like,power and agency and and
(40:18):
whatnot. And so it just... Yeah,it feels very, very delicious
when I listen to that song. So,yeah, A Little Wicked By Valerie
Broussard,
Valerie Friedlander (40:26):
Awesome.
Well, I will put it on theplaylist so everybody can go
check it out there. And also, asa reminder to everyone
listening, if you're not on myemail list, be sure to get on
there, because Taina is going toshare a couple extra tips that
I'll be sending out to y'all. Socheck that out. And thank you so
much for joining me for thisconversation. It's been awesome.
Taina Brown (40:53):
Yes, it's been great. Thank you so much,
Valerie.
Valerie Friedlander (40:55):
Thanks for listening. I so appreciate you
being here. If you got somethingout of today's episode, please
share it, leave me a review,take a screenshot and post it on
social with a shout out to me.
Send it to a friend or, youknow, all of the above. Want to
hang out more, join me onInstagram, or, better yet, get
on my mailing list to make sureyou don't miss out on anything.
And remember your possibilitiesare as unlimited as you are,
(41:19):
allow yourself to shine, myfriend, the world needs your
light. See you next time you.
Hello, my friends, and welcome to another
(00:02):
episode of unlimited. Today, weare talking about micro actions
to manifest big change. There isso much going on in the world,
and it is really easy for peoplewho are passionate about making
a difference to feeloverwhelmed. Where do you even
(00:23):
start? And it's important whenwe can recognize that starting
somewhere is better thanstarting nowhere, and there is
no perfect way to take action,and so many of the issues in our
world and in our lives areinterconnected, so pulling on
one thread impacts all theothers, and yet, we are living
(00:50):
in systems that are constantlypulling and draining our
capacity, and it is reallydifficult because we want To
maximize our energy. We want tomake the biggest difference,
biggest bang for the buck, as itwere, because we only have so
much capacity available to dothe things, whether it is money,
(01:13):
time, energy, mental, emotional,spiritual, whatever we're
talking about in terms ofcapacity, all of the above, we
want to make sure that we aredoing the most we can with what
we have, and that can beoverwhelming. I have talked
(01:36):
about manifestation before, butI heard my friend Taina talking
about this on an Instagram Liveshe did. And I was like, we we
need to talk. I need to bringher on. This is so important.
She was talking about this ideaof micro actions and how to
engage a micro action, andthinking about manifestation and
(02:00):
making a difference. And I waslike, All right, we need to talk
about this. So that's what thisepisode is all about. Taina is a
feminist life coach and thoughtpartner for burned out and busy
millennials. She's an eldermillennial herself, a Jeopardy
enthusiast and dog mom to doggyinfluencers in her spare time,
(02:22):
and with the help of hercommunity, she's building a
world where people don't feelthe need to live busy and burned
out lives, laugh in the face ofimposter syndrome and generally
stick it to the man. You canfind her ranting sometimes and
raving, mostly on Instagram andin her email newsletter to her
community. You can also find heron her new podcast with Becky
(02:46):
mullencamp called Messyliberation, which I hope you'll
check out, because it's awesome,and I'm sure you can see from
her bio why we would get along.
So I will have links in the shownotes to all the things as a
reminder this podcast islistener supported, and I've
recently switched everythingover from buy me a coffee to
(03:09):
Kofi. So that's k, O dash, F, II'll have a link to that in the
show notes as well. Part of whatI'm offering with Kofi is
there's a membership optionwhere you can become a regular
supporter of the podcast. Youcan also do a one time support
(03:31):
contribution for regularsupporters. I will have the
three tips that I'm sending inmy newsletter from all of my
guests also available to listento when you become a member of
the podcast or an regularsubscriber for the podcast
(03:54):
through ko fi, so if that issomething you're interested in
and you aren't on my email list.
One, I encourage you to join theemail list, and two, become a
supporter of the podcast. Itreally makes a huge difference,
both in the production costs forthe podcast, as well as my
(04:17):
ability to continue withoffering the things that I offer
in an accessible way. Socommunity support is key. So
with all that said, I'm superexcited to share this
conversation with you, and now,without further ado, let's get
started. Hey there. I'm ValerieFriedlander, Certified Life
(04:39):
business alignment coach, andthis is unlimited. This podcast
bridges the individual and thesocietal, scientific and
spiritual, positive andnegative, nerdy and no, there's
just a lot of nerdy. Come onboard. And let's unlock a light
that's as badass as you are.
You. Music.
(05:07):
Welcome Taina, I'm so excited tohave you on unlimited
Taina Brown (05:10):
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Valerie,
I've been looking forward tothis for for a few weeks now. So
yeah, excited!
Valerie Friedlander (05:17):
Me too.
This is a topic that I reallylove, and your take on it is
just so cool. So as we dive in,let me ask you, what is a limit
that you took for granted thatyou have since unlearned?
Taina Brown (05:34):
So, I think the biggest thing that comes to mind
for me is that feeling of beingokay with the status quo, like
when you're just kind of goingabout the rat race your day to
day, you're so busy, you kind oftake for granted the fact that
this is your life. You don'tthink twice about it. You don't
(05:56):
think twice about the thingsthat you're doing. And I
remember the moment that Irealized that there's more to
life than just being busy andlike doing what people expect of
you all the time. And to befair, I will say, I've always
kind of been the kind of personto challenge the status quo in a
(06:21):
way, and that's like the pettyside of me. Like, if someone
told me that I couldn't dosomething, I'd be like, Well,
why not? I'm gonna do it anyway.
The rebelliousness, right,right, right, which can be
healthy to a certain extent, butI didn't have the sense for a
long time about how to applythat sense of rebellion to what
was considered normal life, orjust like the expected
(06:45):
trajectory of life for people,right? Like the expected
trajectory is you graduate highschool, you go to college, or
you learn a trade, or you findsomeone, you fall in love, you
get married, you have kids, youbuy a house, all these like,
quote, unquote, milestones thatpeople just fall into the rhythm
of. And so that's kind ofsomething that I took for
(07:10):
granted for a really long time.
And then when I realized, oh, itcan actually be different. It
was like, Whoa, once you startthinking that way, like you
can't stop thinking that way.
You can't stop thinking howthings could be different, what
actually are the possibilities,and not saying that those things
are bad, but I think it'simportant to interrogate if
(07:32):
those things are aligned foryou, because they could be good
for some people, but not goodfor you, depending on your
values, depending on the kind oflifestyle you really want to
live, how creative you are, howmuch freedom you feel like you
need in your day to day. Like,if you're a super creative
person, and you feel like youneed just like, 100% freedom
(07:55):
every day, like sitting at adesk for eight hours Monday
through Friday is probably notthe best place for you, right?
So that was something that wasjust like, it was like going
from black and white to colorfor me.
Valerie Friedlander (08:12):
Yeah, I love that you said that, because
that is the big part of mystory. I followed it through to
like and the timeline.
Everything like, married in my20s, kids in my 30s, had the
house, all the things, and atthat point it was like, Wait a
second, something's wrong. Idon't feel successful. I don't
feel like I made it. I feeloverwhelmed and stressed out and
(08:33):
like, what the hell justhappened? Yeah. And so what I
hear and what you're saying ischoice, yes, because I didn't
even think about it being achoice like it was like, of
course, this is what I want.
This is what everybody wants.
This is the way you're supposedto do it.
Taina Brown (08:48):
Yeah, that sense of agency. Yeah, absolutely. And so
you move from responding to lifeto actually choosing your life
and making decisions that aregoing to help you build the kind
of life that you choose to wantor choose to live, as opposed to
just responding to all theselike external factors and all
(09:12):
these external expectations.
There's such a sense of power inthat that again, once you wake
up to that, like you can't belike, Oh, I'm just gonna go back
to sleep about this. Because,yeah, like you can feel that
way. It definitely feels thatway sometimes, right? Like,
sometimes there is a burden inagency that we feel sometimes
Valerie Friedlander (09:32):
You want to go back into the matrix,
Unknown (09:36):
Right, right. It's like ignorance is bliss. Why did I
ever wake up? It's like wakingup to the horrors of the world.
And it's like, Oh, I wish Icould just forget how horrible
things are sometimes, but tointentionally choose to want to
go back to sleep or to ignorethat stuff is is giving up your
power. And once I had a taste ofof that sense of agency, it was
(09:59):
like. Like, Wait, you mean I candecide for myself. I don't have
to do what my parents said wasthe right thing to do, or what
for me at the time, because Igrew up in church, what my youth
pastor said was the right thingto do, or what my friends think
are the right thing to do. Andagain, not that any of those
things are bad. They justweren't for me. And so it's
(10:21):
about deciding for yourself,like, what is for you.
Valerie Friedlander (10:25):
So that thing that you said about
basically interrogating, likethere were certain things that
didn't get questioned, therewere other things that did get
questioned, but then I questionlike, What got questioned and
what didn't get questioned? Andthat's when, you know, you look
at like, what am I justautomatically assuming is versus
what am I willing to question?
Like, I'm willing to question mycareer, but am I willing to
(10:46):
question that? It will be in acorporate office, right? I'm
willing to question my lovelife, but am I willing to
question whether I'm gettingmarried or not with that? You
know, I'm willing to questionwhere I live, but am I willing
to question if it's just me in ahouse versus in a community,
(11:07):
right? Like there's so manythings,
Taina Brown (11:11):
yeah
Valerie Friedlander (11:11):
and I think to go back to sleep not only
means saying yes to your ownoppression, but to being
complicit in the impression ofothers.
Taina Brown (11:19):
Absolutely, absolutely. That's such a good
point. I love how you frame thatright there. And I think with
the questioning part, we can goeven deeper, right? We can say,
you know, I'm willing toquestion my love life, but am I
willing to questionheteronormativity, right? I'm
willing to question where Ilive, but am I willing to
question class privilege and howwealth and power get distributed
(11:44):
among people. I'm willing toquestion my career. But am I
willing to question how somepeople are unable to advance in
their career because of systemicracism or implicit bias? Right?
And so the more awake you getright in quotation marks, right,
(12:05):
the deeper these questionsbecome, because the more you
start to see things in adifferent way, the more you're
exposed to how things operateand how things function around
you. And it really is likewaking up outside of the matrix.
Valerie Friedlander (12:22):
And it seems like I know one of the
things that I've experiencedwith that experience is
overwhelm. Oh my gosh. Now thereare too many possibilities.
Taina Brown (12:32):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (12:33):
There are too many options, and I don't
even know where to start, whichcan activate freeze response or
a fight response. And so this isone of the things that you
talked about when we weretalking about manifestation. You
know, especially if you've beenfed the message that
manifestation is how you thinkabout things, right? Law of
(12:53):
Attraction is based in, like,just the way you think and the
way you feel about stuff. Andyou got to be positive and to
go, well, well, I'm definitelynot feeling positive right now.
I'm feeling completelyoverwhelmed, right and so we
have to question that and pullthat apart, because it isn't
just about thinking about it,it's about the actions that go
(13:15):
along with that. And I talkabout that in one of my episodes
from a while back, how tomanifest what you want, and you
engage this at another level ofprocessing about how our brains
work, and you step out of thatoverwhelm space into those micro
actions that can build into bigchange. So you're like, oh my
(13:37):
gosh, it all needs to change.
There are too many problems. Idon't even know where to start,
so just burn it all down tolike, Well, okay, that's not
realistic. And that's like, Ican't. So I would love for you
to share a little bit aboutlike, what do you do then?
Taina Brown (13:54):
Yeah, well, let's start with the actual word,
manifesting. It's a verb. So ifwe even just get down to like,
the etymology of the word, itimplies action. And we could
argue that thinking is anaction. But what we know about
verbs from what we learned aboutgrade school is there's movement
(14:16):
in actions. It's not just theact of thinking. It's like there
has to be actual momentum thatcomes from that. There has to be
movement that comes from that.
And the thing that really helpedme understand, or the several
things that really helped meunderstand manifestation,
because, listen, I'm a verypragmatic person. I'm a
Capricorn sun, Virgo rising,Pisces moon. I have a lot of
(14:40):
Earth in my chart, so I'm justlike, I need to see the
evidence, like, where's theaction? I'm not a super woo, woo
kind of person. I am a spiritualperson, and I do believe in
energy, and I have my crystalsand my tarot and oracle decks
and all of that, but I like tomarry that with a lot of
practice. Dogmatism. And so whenI first started hearing about
(15:02):
manifestation, I was like, oh,that's some Okey dokey stuff.
I'm like, that's for people whoare, like, Good Vibes only,
dude, you know? And I'm like,and that's not me. I've seen too
much of the world to ascribe to,you know, the the good vibes
only crowd. But what really madea difference for me, and what
really helped me understandmanifestation was when I was
going through some of mytraining as a coach, and the
(15:24):
person that I was training underduring a workshop, they talked
about the reticular activatingsystem. And the reticular
activating system is a part inyour brain that helps you sort
information, and this is a partof your brain that tells you,
oh, it's light outside, it'stime to wake up. It's dark
(15:44):
outside, it's time to go to bed.
This is the part of your brainthat, if you're learning or
you're studying something, ithelps you sort that information
so you can absorb it. And theway that your reticular
activating system works byhelping you sort that
information like you canactively use it to help control
(16:08):
the kind of information you wantit to sort. Because if you've
ever heard of Adrian Marie brownan emergent strategy. She has a
principle in emergent strategycalled what you pay attention to
grows and so the way yourreticular activating system,
it's wrapped up in thatprinciple, what you pay
attention to grows. So if you'veever seen a garment or a pair of
(16:31):
shoes or a vehicle, and you'rejust like, I really love those
shoes. They're too expensiveright now, but I'm going to save
up money to buy them one day,because that's that's always my
go to every time I likesomething, I'm like way out of
my budget, I need to save upmoney for it. So and then all of
a sudden, you start seeing thoseshoes everywhere. You see them
on TV. You are out at arestaurant and you see somebody
(16:54):
wearing those pair of shoes. Youare at a festival, and three
people have those shoes on. Theykeep popping up on the TV shows
or on Instagram or social mediaor whatever. Sure the algorithm
is listening to you. But alsowhat you've done is by telling
your brain these shoes areimportant to me, this
information is important to me.
Now, your reticular activatingsystem has taken that
(17:17):
information, and what it's doingis it is filtering out all the
other shoes that are not thoseshoes that you really want. So
that way, when those shoes dopop up, it's easier for you to
notice them. So it's not likeall of a sudden the universe is
conspiring to, like, help yousee these shoes everywhere you
(17:39):
go like you can attribute it tothat, if you want Sure. But
there's actually someneuroscience happening there.
It's your brain helping youfilter information so you can
focus on the things that youhave decided are important to
you. So when you're feelingoverwhelmed, when you're feeling
like the problems of the worldor even your own personal
(18:00):
problems are just too big, tooheavy, and you don't know what
to focus on. You don't know whatto do. You're feeling stuck,
you're you're trapped in thatflight or fight or freeze or
fall and response. What you cando is you can decide to take one
small action. You can tell yourbrain, okay, all of that big
(18:21):
stuff over there is too much forme right now. What I'm going to
focus on right now is just thisone really small thing that's
going to help you build a littlebit of momentum. So for
instance, let's use a verypractical example, right? Like,
let's say you have a mountain ofdebt, and you're trying to get
out of debt, and you've beenignoring it for so long, and
(18:44):
you're just like, You know what?
I'm going to put in $1 every dayinto this one credit card that's
365 extra dollars a year. Well,mathematically, that will add
up, right? That will snowball.
That's going to help to bringyour balance down, which is
going to decrease the amount ofinterest that you have to pay on
(19:07):
the balance. But what it's alsodoing for your brain is now
you're going to be thinking, Oh,I am doing an extra dollar every
day, but maybe one day you'refeeling great, and you're just
like, Oh, I just found fiveextra dollars in these jeans
that I'm about to wash. So now Ihave $5 in cash. And because
you're you have trained yourbrain to think about building
(19:30):
momentum towards decreasing thatdebt. Now you might be more
inclined to say, well, since Ifound this $5 in cash, I'm going
to do six extra dollars todayinstead of the five, right? So
it's about taking these littlemicro actions that once stacked
up really helped to buildmomentum. And it's really not
(19:51):
about when you are feelingoverwhelmed or when things feel
too big. It's really not abouttackling those big things. Is
it's about what small action canyou take today that's going to
slowly shift you away from thatfeeling of overwhelm, from that
feeling of heaviness?
Valerie Friedlander (20:11):
Yeah, I love that on so many levels,
because taking it into thatpractical space of this matters
to me. I mean, it's basicallyreaffirming This is what
matters. Which makes me think ofwhat you said at the beginning
of that, interrogating whatyou're focused on, interrogating
(20:31):
those things that youautomatically do, because, why
do they matter? You know, dothey matter because I was told
that they matter, or do theymatter? Because they actually
matter, and what about themmatters? I almost think like,
when you feel that sense ofoverwhelm, of like, I need to
take action, to really hone inon what that needs to be, is to
(20:52):
say, like, what matters here,you know that relief that I'll
have from getting rid of thedebt, that's what matters. So,
oh, I'm going to think aboutlike, oh, I have this money.
Instead of like, oh, I can justspend it. I'm looking for that
relief of not carrying more onmy back so I can lighten that
(21:12):
burden that I hold.
Taina Brown (21:14):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (21:15):
So that makes sense. I also want to note
that I'm also a Virgo rising. Soeverything you said about, you
know, I used to say that I'm alittle bit of Woo and a lot of
science, because I'm very muchthe energy, and yet, give me
what I can do with that, like weneed action steps, because the
action steps also build thatmomentum so that you're then
(21:38):
reaffirming This is whatmatters. This is what matters.
But so I would imagine this isalso like what feeds into some
of the status quo things isbecause we're constantly being
fed. This is what matters. Thisis what matters. And we don't
even think, yeah, to questionit. So it's not like your
reticulating activating systemisn't doing anything until you
go, Hey, do it. It's being ableto choose how you're feeding it.
Taina Brown (22:04):
Yes, absolutely, yeah. So, and it takes us back
to that whole conversation aboutagency and choice, right? Like
you can think of your reticularactivating system as the
algorithm of your brain, right?
And so one thing that I like totell my some of my clients
sometimes when they're justlike, Yeah, I was just on social
media Doom strolling, and it'sjust so overwhelming. And it's
like, okay, I understand that,but we also train the algorithm
(22:26):
on what kind of content andinformation to give us. And this
is funny, because, like,sometimes I'll see influencers
who will post comments fromtrolls, and they're just like,
hey, thanks for boosting myreach, right? And don't you know
that you commenting, whetheryou're trolling or not on my
stuff, is just going to keepgiving you my stuff because
you're engaging with it. And sowhen you choose to, as opposed
(22:49):
to, just like, let the algorithmof your brain just respond to
all these external things, andyou're just like, No, I'm going
to choose today, right? You canjust start today. This doesn't
have to be a long term projecteither. Like this isn't this
big, magical thing that you needto deconstruct today. You can
decide for yourself today, I'mgoing to choose to focus on
(23:12):
abundance rather than scarcity.
And you take one small action.
You say, the way that I'm goingto do that is I'm going to
Google abundance, right? Or I'mgoing to search for an abundance
coach on Instagram or on Tiktok.
I'm a millennial, so I'm like,always on Instagram. I don't
(23:33):
even understand Tiktok.
Valerie Friedlander (23:35):
I keep trying. I'm like, I know how to
do a real so I just post that toTiktok, right?
Taina Brown (23:40):
It's the same thing, right? Completely
different algorithm. But, yeah,you can just decide, I'm just
going to do this one smallthing. I'm going to Google this,
or I'm going to search for thison social media, or, you know,
I'm going to buy a book onabundance, or go to my library
and was your section on wealthor finances or whatever. And
(24:01):
those small steps, that littlething right there, you triggered
your reticular activatingsystem. The work is done at that
point. Now, all you have to dofrom that moment on is pay
attention when your reticularactivating system starts feeding
you things about abundance,because what's going to happen
(24:21):
is when you do that, it's notlike all the things about
scarcity in your lifeautomatically go away. They're
still there.
Valerie Friedlander (24:29):
Your debt doesn't suddenly disappear.
Taina Brown (24:31):
Exactly. Now you just have to choose what you pay
attention to. So you read thatbook, you check out that book
from the library, you do thatsearch on social media or on
Google. Now you're going tostart seeing people talking
about abundance online, inperson, at the bookstore. Now
you just pay attention to thosethings, and as you pay attention
(24:53):
to those things, then what youdo is you figure out what of
those things are most value.
Values aligned for you, becausenot everything is going to be
super aligned with your values,right? Just because you are
opening up yourself to the ideaof abundance doesn't mean that
every single thing aboutabundance out there is going to
be a good fit for you. So nowyou have to do the work of
(25:14):
paying attention and figuringout, okay, out of these five
things that I've noticed thispast week, which one is the most
helpful for me based on mysituation, my values and the
kind of future I see for myself.
And then you can narrow in thefocus even more, and then that
(25:36):
starts to build more momentum.
The more you get narrow in,narrowed in on your focus, the
more momentum you begin to see.
Valerie Friedlander (25:44):
Yeah, and it helps direct those pieces of
action. And there's so manywords that get thrown around in
so many ways, like abundance. Iappreciate that you tie in that
what angle we're looking atabundance. Are we looking at
individual abundance? Are welooking at collective abundance?
Taina Brown (26:02):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Valerie Friedlander (26:03):
So, I'm looking for abundance. I'm
seeking abundance. And so theinformation that I'm taking in,
is this rooted in individualabundance, or is this rooted in
collective abundance? Are wetalking energetic abundance in
terms of, like, time abundance?
Are we talking money abundance?
Are we talking about like,
Taina Brown (26:19):
Relationships?
Valerie Friedlander (26:20):
Yeah, exactly. And like, what does
that feel like to startexploring, if I felt abundant,
what would that look like? Andwe talked a little bit about the
idea of taking conscious actionrooted in what our values are,
helps harness our personalpower, because especially if
(26:44):
we're willing to continue tointerrogate and check in, it's
not just like, okay, you know,it's not like a roller coaster.
I got on the car and it's justgonna go I got on the abundance
roller coaster. So hold ontight.
Taina Brown (26:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (26:56):
It's more like we were climbing a mountain
or we're hiking a trail orwhatever. But so each step
matters.
Taina Brown (27:04):
yeah
Valerie Friedlander (27:04):
And so each step is an opportunity to
harness our personal power.
Taina Brown (27:10):
Yes!
Valerie Friedlander (27:11):
You know, each step is a place to think,
Okay, where am I putting myfoot? What does that look like?
How am I putting my foot there?
And I wonder what counts as amicro action, you know? And I
think you kind of addressedthat, but I I'm wondering about
exploring that a little bitfurther, because I also feel
like I know that I get caughtup, especially when I'm feeling
(27:31):
in the overwhelm space like thependulum has swung. I was like,
over here, and now I'm like,over here, and what I tend to
fixate on is fear of the wrongthing,
Taina Brown (27:43):
hmm.
Valerie Friedlander (27:44):
It is framed in my head as I want to
take the right action.
Taina Brown (27:48):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (27:48):
You know the the one that puts me on the
roller coaster I want to takethe action that puts me on the
roller coaster that just goes,
Taina Brown (27:54):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (27:54):
And that, knowing that there isn't one of
those really, but I want thereto be. I have been conditioned
to think that there is so thatoverwhelm space sets me in the
mind of I want to take the rightaction. And I think the idea of
micro actions makes it smaller,but they all feel like macro
(28:16):
actions in that space.
Taina Brown (28:18):
Yeah, they do. They do. When you are in a place of
overwhelm or burnout, everythingfeels big. Everything feels like
a big decision. And I wasliterally just telling a client
today, because she's waiting tohear back about this job, and
they've kind of been stringingher along for a little bit. And
they were like, you'll hear bythe end of June. And we were
(28:41):
talking, we're like, today'sliterally the end of June. This
is totally gonna date thispodcast, but today's literally
the end of June because Mondayis July and today is Friday. So
I was like, Well, what are yourplans this weekend? And she was
like, Well, I'm gonna work onsome other job applications,
just in case this one doesn'tcome through, even though it
feels like it will. And I waslike, well, would it be a better
(29:06):
idea to not work on those jobapplications? Because if you
don't hear from them today, andyou have to wait until Monday to
either hear from them or followup and working on job stuff all
weekend like that's just goingto exacerbate that feeling of
frustration. And she was like,Yeah, you're right. And I was
like, okay, so what micro actioncan you take this weekend to
(29:29):
just move you from a place offrustration into a place of joy
and rest and pleasure? And shestarted listing these things.
And I was like, You know whatsometimes a micro action is a
nap.
Valerie Friedlander (29:42):
I love that you said that because so often I
think that is the micro actionthat I need when I'm in that
space.
Taina Brown (29:48):
Yeah, like when you're so overwhelmed and, like,
frustrated and burnt out,sometimes you just need to sit
your ass down and take a nap,right? And so my point with that
is the way that I define a microaction, and I think the best way
to define a micro action is,what is the action that I can
take today that is going to moveme away from this feeling that I
(30:13):
don't want or this space that Idon't want to be in, but isn't
going to require extra laborfrom me, or too much extra labor
from me. So at that point, youreally have to understand where
your energy is. How much energydo I actually have to take
action right now? Because ifyour battery is at like 10% that
(30:36):
means you cannot take a microaction that's going to require
12% of you because you don'thave it in you. If your
battery's at 10% a micro actionis something that's going to
require, I would say no morethan 5% of you, because then
that still leaves you with 5% inyour battery for unexpected
(30:57):
things that life is going tothrow at you, for your family,
for your relationships, foreating dinner, for taking a
shower, for all these littlethings that we still have to do
every day. So that's that's howI like to define a micro action.
What is the best action that Ican take right now that isn't
going to exacerbate my capacity.
Valerie Friedlander (31:21):
I love that. That makes so much sense.
And you know, since we werespeaking of abundance, I think
that reminder also that if we'retrying to build abundance,
taking a nap is an action thatis an abundant action. So we
have so many stories in oursociety about, oh, that's lazy.
Oh, you're not trying hardenough. No, that's actually an
(31:43):
abundant action.
Taina Brown (31:45):
Yeah. It's restorative.
Valerie Friedlander (31:47):
Yeah. And that reminds me of that
juxtaposition of, you know, workhard, play hard, and if you are
not doing doings,
Taina Brown (31:57):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (31:58):
That those are the things that are
important when we're thinkingabout like, what we're doing,
and it's like, no, actually, weneed the restorative part too.
So it's a good reminder that arestorative practice is also a
micro action.
Taina Brown (32:13):
Yeah, because it's it's stacking up that energy,
right? It's stacking up thatmomentum to just fill you up, as
opposed to depleting you,because so much of the world
that we live in is extractive,and so it depletes us, sometimes
quickly, sometimes slowly. Andso anything that's restorative
is going to help you buildmomentum, because it's the
(32:35):
opposite of that, that cycle ofextraction.
Valerie Friedlander (32:40):
Thank you for that reminder. So with that
in mind, one of my wrap upquestions is, what does it mean
to you to be unlimited? And Iknow this conversation has
definitely gives me that feel,and I would love to know your
(33:01):
answer to that question.
Taina Brown (33:03):
Yeah, I think the best way that I can describe
feeling unlimited and livingUnlimited is remaining curious
about things. When I think aboutcuriosity, I think about
children and usually when wetalk about children, we talk
(33:24):
about them as having unlimitedpotential, unlimited creativity,
unlimited possibilities. Andsomewhere along the way, as we
grow up and we start to fitourselves into these boxes of
what it means to be a humanbeing, we lose that. And
curiosity is really thecornerstone of creativity, of
(33:47):
potential, of possibility. Likeyou cannot explore possibilities
without remaining curious. Youjust cannot. And if you are
having trouble tapping into yourcuriosity, you need to find a
way to get back there. Spendsome time with children. I'm
(34:08):
sure someone in your family haskids, or some friends have
children. Go to a museum, go toan art show, do an exercise for
the sake of doing it, not fordoing it right, not for having a
specific expectation or outcomein mind, like, sometimes I will
doodle, I'm not an I'm not anartist. Like, I can't draw to
save my life. But sometimes Iwill doodle just for the sake of
(34:32):
doodling, right, just to, like,express some type of creativity,
just to tap into that curiosity.
And I am still and alwayssurprised at how that sense of
exploration helps me generateideas. Helps me generate
solutions to problems that I'mhaving, ideas for my business,
(34:54):
ideas that help my friends. Zeromy family, right? And it's
because I've able to slow downand just kind of stretch that
part of my brain.
Valerie Friedlander (35:07):
Yeah, oh, that's good. And, and actually,
what you said really reminds meI did a podcast interview with
Krishna a little bit ago wherewe talked about creativity and
tapping into that and doingsomething just because yeah, and
I remember my mom, when I wasyoung, talking about doing
something that that you weren'tgood at, or doing something that
(35:31):
was counter to what you wouldnormally do. Just to shake it up
a little bit, you know, ifyou're somebody who always wears
makeup, go out without makeup onright, like, yeah, do something
that changes the dynamics thatyou're used to, so that you
experience things a little bitdifferently,
Taina Brown (35:48):
yeah, yeah, it's stretching those growth edges,
right?
Valerie Friedlander (35:52):
Yeah,
Taina Brown (35:53):
Yeah. Your mom is a wise woman.
Valerie Friedlander (35:55):
She is. I was very blessed in her... she
was doing a lot of learning, butI think, you know, to all the
moms out there who are doinglearning, who are listening and
looking to grow, I think it'simportant to remember that it's
not about being perfect. It'sabout being willing to speak to
doing something different andquestioning. That you know, when
(36:18):
you start to embody curiosity,
Taina Brown (36:20):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (36:20):
it has an impact in how your children feel
that is accessible and continuesto be accessible, because you're
so right about the as you getolder, those things that we just
start to take for granted, thatidea that we have to reach for
our potential, and what thatlooks like, right? Because I
thought the potential was thebox that we talked about at the
(36:42):
very beginning of the episode.
Taina Brown (36:43):
Absolutely.
Valerie Friedlander (36:44):
Yeah, right, that that was reaching my
potential, not like askingquestions and being curious and
expansive. So, yeah, I thinkthat's important.
Taina Brown (36:53):
It is, and it helps you be curious about the world
and people too, right? Likethere are people that I don't
want to be friends with, but mycuriosity is like, what would
make them be this way? What'stheir backstory? And that helps
develop empathy? You know?
Valerie Friedlander (37:13):
Yes, absolutely, it's a core
component. So as far as gettingto know people. Where can people
get to know more about you?
Taina Brown (37:24):
Yeah, so you can find me mostly on Instagram. I'm
on Instagram far too often thanI'd like to admit, but as a
true, true millennial, so myinstagram handle is my name, so
it's at Taina dot. M like Marydot, brown, like the color. And
so my the way you spell, my nameis T, A, I N, A, like that
(37:46):
Nickelodeon show that was aroundfor like one season, way back
when, for all my Millennials outthere. You know what I'm talking
about. And then I'm also onLinkedIn, and it's just Tina and
brown, no dots in between myname or the middle initial. And
then you can also just find meat my website, where there's
more information about what I doand how I support people, and
(38:07):
there's a free guide on how tolive a really values aligned
life when you go to my websiteand sign up for my email list,
and that's TainaMBrown.com soeverywhere is a variation of my
name, everywhere you can findme. So you can just Google Taina
M Brown and all those thingswill pop up.
Valerie Friedlander (38:27):
Gotta keep it simple,
Taina Brown (38:29):
Yes.
Valerie Friedlander (38:29):
And I will have links in the show notes, so
y'all can actually just even goclick and check it out.
Taina Brown (38:38):
Yeah.
Valerie Friedlander (38:38):
So as my final wrap up question for the
unlimited playlist, What song doyou listen to when you want to
access that unlimited feeling?
Taina Brown (38:49):
Yeah, so there's actually a song that I came
across. And I remember when wetalked about this initially, I
was like, oh, it's going to beso hard to pick just one song,
because I like to createplaylists that, like, hype me
up. And it's something that Iencourage my clients to do also,
especially if they're, like,getting ready for a job
interview or for a presentation,like, create a hype playlist to
(39:12):
just kind of get yourself hypedup. Be your own hype person. But
there is one song that'scompletely random that I came
across a TV show on Netflix, thechilling Adventures of Sabrina.
And if you're familiar with thatshow at all, it's one of my
favorites. So campy, I love it.
But this song is called a littlewicked by Valerie Broussard. I
think it's how you pronounce herlast name. And I don't listen to
(39:36):
it often, but I do have it likeon a Halloween playlist that I
listen to every year, and everytime it comes on, I'm just like,
Oh, this feels so delicious, sodelicious because there's a line
in the song that says somethingabout, like, No one calls you
trouble, or no one basically thethe premise is like, when
(39:57):
you're. On a throne, like peopledon't mess with you, right? Like
they know not to mess with you.
And so when I listen to thatsong, I'm just like, yes, my
power, my power. And like I havemy own throne, you know, like I
have my own sense of, like,power and agency and and
(40:18):
whatnot. And so it just... Yeah,it feels very, very delicious
when I listen to that song. So,yeah, A Little Wicked By Valerie
Broussard,
Valerie Friedlander (40:26):
Awesome.
Well, I will put it on theplaylist so everybody can go
check it out there. And also, asa reminder to everyone
listening, if you're not on myemail list, be sure to get on
there, because Taina is going toshare a couple extra tips that
I'll be sending out to y'all. Socheck that out. And thank you so
much for joining me for thisconversation. It's been awesome.
Taina Brown (40:53):
Yes, it's been great. Thank you so much,
Valerie.
Valerie Friedlander (40:55):
Thanks for listening. I so appreciate you
being here. If you got somethingout of today's episode, please
share it, leave me a review,take a screenshot and post it on
social with a shout out to me.
Send it to a friend or, youknow, all of the above. Want to
hang out more, join me onInstagram, or, better yet, get
on my mailing list to make sureyou don't miss out on anything.
And remember your possibilitiesare as unlimited as you are,
(41:19):
allow yourself to shine, myfriend, the world needs your
light. See you next time you.
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