April 16, 2025 • 11 mins
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Procrastination isn’t about laziness or poor time management — it’s about your brain trying to protect you. In this episode, we explore why so many educators struggle with procrastination and how to shift the narrative from self-blame to self-compassion.
You’ll learn how procrastination is rooted in emotional regulation, not motivation — and how to rewire your brain for focus, calm, and clarity.
💡 What you’ll discover in this episode:
- How procrastination activates your amygdala, overriding the part of your brain responsible for planning and focus
- Why stress reduces your executive functioning and makes it harder to get things done
- How to decode procrastination as a form of emotional resistance, not failure
- The power of asking: “What am I really resisting?” — fear, perfectionism, or exhaustion?
- How to shift from your inner bully to your inner bestie who speaks with compassion and grace
- Brain-aligned tools for gently moving through procrastination with curiosity instead of criticism
- A reminder: Your worth is not measured by your productivity — you are enough, exactly as you are
✨ If you're ready to teach, lead, and live from a more regulated, empowered place, this episode is for you.
🛍️ Explore resources that support your journey at our new Empowered Educator School Store: empowerededucator.com/schoolstore
Stay empowered,
Jen
Let’s keep the conversation going! Find me at:
empowerededucator.com/resources
Instagram: @jenrafferty_
Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you feeling exhausted by the constant
demands of teaching?
Do you find yourself wonderingif there's a way to balance both
your career and your well-beingwithout burning out?
Welcome to Unlock your TeachingPotential, your permission slip
to hit the brakes, recharge andreignite your joy for teaching
and living.
(00:20):
I'm Dr Jen Rafferty, formermusic teacher, author, tedx
speaker and founder of EmpoweredEducator, and I've been where
you are exhausted, overwhelmedand just trying to get through
the day, making it all work.
So each week, I'll bring youshort, powerful episodes with
actionable tools to help youreclaim your energy, set
(00:41):
boundaries and step into yourfull potential, both in and out
of your role as an educator.
So take a breath and let's divein.
It's time to unlock yourteaching potential, because the
world needs you at your best.
Before we dive in today, Iinvite you to take a breath with
(01:03):
me, just one Inhale through thenose and exhale slowly.
Let's just be here, becausetoday's conversation is one that
so many of us need to hear,especially if you've been
silently beating yourself up fornot doing quote unquote enough,
or if you've been feeling as ifyou're stuck in a loop of
(01:26):
avoidance, guilt and shame,because today we are talking
about procrastination, but notin the just try harder or use
this productivity hack kind of away.
We're going deeper, becauseprocrastination isn't actually a
time management issue.
It's not a discipline issueeither.
It's not a discipline issueeither.
It's an emotional regulationissue and, more than anything,
(01:51):
it's a sign that your brain isdoing its best to protect you.
So if no one has said this toyou lately, there is nothing
wrong with you.
So let's talk about it.
And I want to start with amoment from when I was in the
classroom and maybe you've livedsomething like this too there
was a stack of ungraded musiccompositions sitting in the
(02:12):
corner of my desk and I don'tjust mean from the day before
I'm talking two weeks worth, andevery day I'd walk into my
classroom and glance at the pileand immediately pivot to
something else.
I'd maybe be planning out mylessons for the next month, or
cleaning out my inbox for myemails, or making copies for
that really big event that washappening the following week,
(02:35):
and I told myself I wasprioritizing, but deep down, I
was procrastinating, and everynight I'd get into bed and I'd
be thinking to myself why didn'tI just do it?
And here's where we cue in thatinner bully right.
You're so behind is what mymind would tell me.
You're failing your students.
You are clearly not cut out forthis.
(02:56):
But that inner bully didn't seethe full picture, because when I
finally got honest with myself,I realized that I wasn't
avoiding the grading.
I was avoiding the emotionalweight of it.
Would I see that my feedbackwasn't really helping them?
Would I find the evidence thatI wasn't reaching them and they
(03:16):
actually didn't even care?
Would it feel like I wasfailing them in some way that no
amount of rubric points couldfix?
And that grading pile felt likea mirror that I wasn't really
ready to look at, and so mynervous system shut down.
It steered me towards supposedsafer tasks, things that I could
more easily control, thingsthat didn't poke at my perceived
(03:40):
self-worth.
This isn't laziness, it'semotional protection.
So let's talk about the brainscience here for a moment.
When we face something thatbrings up fear or discomfort or
emotional risk I've said this amillion times before and it's
worth repeating, because ourbrain loves repetition also the
brain's amygdala gets activated,and that's the part of the
(04:02):
brain that's responsible fordetecting threats.
And yes, those threats used tobe lions and tigers and bears,
but they're now emails, lessonplans, grading hard
conversations literally anythingthat feels emotionally loaded.
And when your amygdala isactivated, it temporarily
overrides your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your
brain that helps you plan,initiate tasks and focus.
(04:25):
So, instead of starting thatproject or answering that email
or grading those papers, yourbrain nudges you towards
something that feels safer,that's more predictable and
definitely less vulnerable, likecleaning your desk or scrolling
on Instagram.
To be clear, in that momentyour brain isn't being lazy,
(04:45):
it's being protective.
This is its way of trying toregulate, even though it's
keeping you from doing the thingthat you said you wanted to do.
Your brain is adapting to avoidany perceived pain, which I
think is actually pretty cool,right?
And if you've ever wondered whythis happens most when you're
already stressed out, it'sbecause when your nervous system
(05:07):
is maxed out, your capacity forfocus and executive functioning
shrinks.
So again to be crystal clear,there is nothing wrong with you.
Your brain is just doing itsbest with the resources it has.
So let's take this one layerdeeper now, because
procrastination isn't just ashutdown response, it is also a
(05:29):
form of resistance.
Now, I used to think aboutresistance being that I wasn't
committed to something, or thatI was sabotaging myself.
But resistance, I've learned,is also really important data.
It's your nervous system sayingthis feels unsafe right now.
Or maybe it's saying this isn'taligned, or maybe it's I've
(05:52):
been pushing so hard for so longthat I cannot take one more
thing.
So when you notice yourselfprocrastinating, try asking what
am I really resisting here?
Is it the task itself, or is itthe story that I'm telling
myself about how it has to bedone or what needs to be done?
Am I resisting because I thinkit won't be good enough?
(06:14):
Am I resisting because I'mafraid of how people are going
to respond?
Am I resisting because I'mexhausted?
The point is, procrastinationisn't the enemy.
It's actually an invitation.
It's an invitation to getcurious, not critical.
And this is where your innerbestie comes in, because when
(06:37):
you're stuck in that moment,your inner bully most of the
time takes the microphone andsays oh, you're so behind,
you're failing your students,you can't do anything right, you
might as well not try.
But your inner bestie saysthings like hey, love, I know
that this feels hard right now,so let's just take one small
(06:59):
step safely together.
It sounds simple, but thisshift in inner dialogue is
really powerful, because whenyou speak to yourself with
compassion, you actuallyregulate your nervous system.
You're inviting your prefrontalcortex back online because
you're creating psychologicalsafety, which is the very thing
(07:19):
that your brain has been seeking.
So ask yourself, when you'renoticing resistance, who's
speaking?
Is it your inner bully or is ityour inner bestie?
Let's walk through an exampletogether.
So let's say you're staring atyour laptop.
There's a task that you've beenavoiding, your stomach is tense
.
You're noticing that you'refeeling scattered, or you're
(07:40):
irritated, or maybe you feelinglike you just need a nap.
Here's what you're going to do.
First, pause, you noticedamazing.
Get your feet on the ground,take a slow, deep breath and
gently say to yourself I'mfeeling some resistance, it's so
interesting and it's okay.
(08:03):
Then you're going to name theemotion.
Maybe it's fear, maybe it'spressure or shame or
perfectionism.
Say it out loud, let your brainhear it.
Naming the feeling actuallysoftens that emotional charge,
because you're not the emotion,you are observing the emotion.
And then ask what would makethis feel 5% safer?
(08:28):
Maybe you turn on some musicand get up and dance.
Maybe you text a friend and say, hey, I'm starting this thing
that I've been avoiding.
And now you're going to takethe tiniest step open the
document, type a sentence, set afive minute timer, that's it.
We're not aiming for completion, you're aiming for connection.
You're aiming for safety.
(08:49):
You're showing your brain thatyou can begin and it's safe.
And every time that you do this, you're not just getting
something done, you're rewiringyour brain.
You're rewiring it for calm,for clarity and, most
importantly, the courage to doit again.
So let's return to you.
(09:10):
What is one thing that you'vebeen avoiding lately?
And underneath that, whatemotion might be there?
What would it look like torespond, not with force, but
with love and care.
Let your inner bestie lead youthrough this one, because
they're wise, they're kind.
Your inner bestie knows thatyou are doing your best, because
(09:31):
the truth is you are.
Your procrastination is not aflaw, it's a flag.
It's your brain waving at you,asking for grace and some
attention.
So let's give it.
Let's give you that grace andattention.
And before we close out thepodcast, today, I am so excited
(09:52):
to share that Empowered Educatornow has a school store.
So if you head over toempowerededucatorcom slash
school store, you will find allsorts of really cool things to
support you on your EmpoweredEducator journey.
And, as always, we're going toend with a card from the
Empowered Educator card deck,and this week's card says your
(10:13):
worth does not equal yourproductivity.
That's a good one, and so manyof us conflate our worth with
our productivity, and I thinkthis goes along with this
episode that we had today.
Your worth has nothing to dowith your productivity.
You are worthy because you wokeup this morning.
You don't have to earn it, yousimply are.
You don't have to earn it, yousimply are.
(10:35):
Remember the most generousthing that you can do for your
students is take care ofyourself.
So if you found today's episodehelpful, be sure to subscribe
so you never miss a moment ofinspiration, and if you're
loving the show, I'd love foryou to leave a review.
This helps more educators likeyou find the space to unlock
their teaching potential too.
(10:56):
Until next time, pleaseremember that you are a gift to
this world, so act accordingly.
See you soon.
Are you feeling exhausted by the constant
demands of teaching?
Do you find yourself wonderingif there's a way to balance both
your career and your well-beingwithout burning out?
Welcome to Unlock your TeachingPotential, your permission slip
to hit the brakes, recharge andreignite your joy for teaching
and living.
(00:20):
I'm Dr Jen Rafferty, formermusic teacher, author, tedx
speaker and founder of EmpoweredEducator, and I've been where
you are exhausted, overwhelmedand just trying to get through
the day, making it all work.
So each week, I'll bring youshort, powerful episodes with
actionable tools to help youreclaim your energy, set
(00:41):
boundaries and step into yourfull potential, both in and out
of your role as an educator.
So take a breath and let's divein.
It's time to unlock yourteaching potential, because the
world needs you at your best.
Before we dive in today, Iinvite you to take a breath with
(01:03):
me, just one Inhale through thenose and exhale slowly.
Let's just be here, becausetoday's conversation is one that
so many of us need to hear,especially if you've been
silently beating yourself up fornot doing quote unquote enough,
or if you've been feeling as ifyou're stuck in a loop of
(01:26):
avoidance, guilt and shame,because today we are talking
about procrastination, but notin the just try harder or use
this productivity hack kind of away.
We're going deeper, becauseprocrastination isn't actually a
time management issue.
It's not a discipline issueeither.
It's not a discipline issueeither.
It's an emotional regulationissue and, more than anything,
(01:51):
it's a sign that your brain isdoing its best to protect you.
So if no one has said this toyou lately, there is nothing
wrong with you.
So let's talk about it.
And I want to start with amoment from when I was in the
classroom and maybe you've livedsomething like this too there
was a stack of ungraded musiccompositions sitting in the
(02:12):
corner of my desk and I don'tjust mean from the day before
I'm talking two weeks worth, andevery day I'd walk into my
classroom and glance at the pileand immediately pivot to
something else.
I'd maybe be planning out mylessons for the next month, or
cleaning out my inbox for myemails, or making copies for
that really big event that washappening the following week,
(02:35):
and I told myself I wasprioritizing, but deep down, I
was procrastinating, and everynight I'd get into bed and I'd
be thinking to myself why didn'tI just do it?
And here's where we cue in thatinner bully right.
You're so behind is what mymind would tell me.
You're failing your students.
You are clearly not cut out forthis.
(02:56):
But that inner bully didn't seethe full picture, because when I
finally got honest with myself,I realized that I wasn't
avoiding the grading.
I was avoiding the emotionalweight of it.
Would I see that my feedbackwasn't really helping them?
Would I find the evidence thatI wasn't reaching them and they
(03:16):
actually didn't even care?
Would it feel like I wasfailing them in some way that no
amount of rubric points couldfix?
And that grading pile felt likea mirror that I wasn't really
ready to look at, and so mynervous system shut down.
It steered me towards supposedsafer tasks, things that I could
more easily control, thingsthat didn't poke at my perceived
(03:40):
self-worth.
This isn't laziness, it'semotional protection.
So let's talk about the brainscience here for a moment.
When we face something thatbrings up fear or discomfort or
emotional risk I've said this amillion times before and it's
worth repeating, because ourbrain loves repetition also the
brain's amygdala gets activated,and that's the part of the
(04:02):
brain that's responsible fordetecting threats.
And yes, those threats used tobe lions and tigers and bears,
but they're now emails, lessonplans, grading hard
conversations literally anythingthat feels emotionally loaded.
And when your amygdala isactivated, it temporarily
overrides your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your
brain that helps you plan,initiate tasks and focus.
(04:25):
So, instead of starting thatproject or answering that email
or grading those papers, yourbrain nudges you towards
something that feels safer,that's more predictable and
definitely less vulnerable, likecleaning your desk or scrolling
on Instagram.
To be clear, in that momentyour brain isn't being lazy,
(04:45):
it's being protective.
This is its way of trying toregulate, even though it's
keeping you from doing the thingthat you said you wanted to do.
Your brain is adapting to avoidany perceived pain, which I
think is actually pretty cool,right?
And if you've ever wondered whythis happens most when you're
already stressed out, it'sbecause when your nervous system
(05:07):
is maxed out, your capacity forfocus and executive functioning
shrinks.
So again to be crystal clear,there is nothing wrong with you.
Your brain is just doing itsbest with the resources it has.
So let's take this one layerdeeper now, because
procrastination isn't just ashutdown response, it is also a
(05:29):
form of resistance.
Now, I used to think aboutresistance being that I wasn't
committed to something, or thatI was sabotaging myself.
But resistance, I've learned,is also really important data.
It's your nervous system sayingthis feels unsafe right now.
Or maybe it's saying this isn'taligned, or maybe it's I've
(05:52):
been pushing so hard for so longthat I cannot take one more
thing.
So when you notice yourselfprocrastinating, try asking what
am I really resisting here?
Is it the task itself, or is itthe story that I'm telling
myself about how it has to bedone or what needs to be done?
Am I resisting because I thinkit won't be good enough?
(06:14):
Am I resisting because I'mafraid of how people are going
to respond?
Am I resisting because I'mexhausted?
The point is, procrastinationisn't the enemy.
It's actually an invitation.
It's an invitation to getcurious, not critical.
And this is where your innerbestie comes in, because when
(06:37):
you're stuck in that moment,your inner bully most of the
time takes the microphone andsays oh, you're so behind,
you're failing your students,you can't do anything right, you
might as well not try.
But your inner bestie saysthings like hey, love, I know
that this feels hard right now,so let's just take one small
(06:59):
step safely together.
It sounds simple, but thisshift in inner dialogue is
really powerful, because whenyou speak to yourself with
compassion, you actuallyregulate your nervous system.
You're inviting your prefrontalcortex back online because
you're creating psychologicalsafety, which is the very thing
(07:19):
that your brain has been seeking.
So ask yourself, when you'renoticing resistance, who's
speaking?
Is it your inner bully or is ityour inner bestie?
Let's walk through an exampletogether.
So let's say you're staring atyour laptop.
There's a task that you've beenavoiding, your stomach is tense
.
You're noticing that you'refeeling scattered, or you're
(07:40):
irritated, or maybe you feelinglike you just need a nap.
Here's what you're going to do.
First, pause, you noticedamazing.
Get your feet on the ground,take a slow, deep breath and
gently say to yourself I'mfeeling some resistance, it's so
interesting and it's okay.
(08:03):
Then you're going to name theemotion.
Maybe it's fear, maybe it'spressure or shame or
perfectionism.
Say it out loud, let your brainhear it.
Naming the feeling actuallysoftens that emotional charge,
because you're not the emotion,you are observing the emotion.
And then ask what would makethis feel 5% safer?
(08:28):
Maybe you turn on some musicand get up and dance.
Maybe you text a friend and say, hey, I'm starting this thing
that I've been avoiding.
And now you're going to takethe tiniest step open the
document, type a sentence, set afive minute timer, that's it.
We're not aiming for completion, you're aiming for connection.
You're aiming for safety.
(08:49):
You're showing your brain thatyou can begin and it's safe.
And every time that you do this, you're not just getting
something done, you're rewiringyour brain.
You're rewiring it for calm,for clarity and, most
importantly, the courage to doit again.
So let's return to you.
(09:10):
What is one thing that you'vebeen avoiding lately?
And underneath that, whatemotion might be there?
What would it look like torespond, not with force, but
with love and care.
Let your inner bestie lead youthrough this one, because
they're wise, they're kind.
Your inner bestie knows thatyou are doing your best, because
(09:31):
the truth is you are.
Your procrastination is not aflaw, it's a flag.
It's your brain waving at you,asking for grace and some
attention.
So let's give it.
Let's give you that grace andattention.
And before we close out thepodcast, today, I am so excited
(09:52):
to share that Empowered Educatornow has a school store.
So if you head over toempowerededucatorcom slash
school store, you will find allsorts of really cool things to
support you on your EmpoweredEducator journey.
And, as always, we're going toend with a card from the
Empowered Educator card deck,and this week's card says your
(10:13):
worth does not equal yourproductivity.
That's a good one, and so manyof us conflate our worth with
our productivity, and I thinkthis goes along with this
episode that we had today.
Your worth has nothing to dowith your productivity.
You are worthy because you wokeup this morning.
You don't have to earn it, yousimply are.
You don't have to earn it, yousimply are.
(10:35):
Remember the most generousthing that you can do for your
students is take care ofyourself.
So if you found today's episodehelpful, be sure to subscribe
so you never miss a moment ofinspiration, and if you're
loving the show, I'd love foryou to leave a review.
This helps more educators likeyou find the space to unlock
their teaching potential too.
(10:56):
Until next time, pleaseremember that you are a gift to
this world, so act accordingly.
See you soon.
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