[EP05] "Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First" & Dream 100

Episode Transcript
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Alfred (00:03):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Unmodern Podcast,
the podcast where we haveunscripted, unapologetic, and
uncomfortable conversations thataffects everyday people.
If you've ever had an outlook,thought, or an opinion that
modern day society told you tobe silent on That you would get
in trouble for, or if you'veever heard the words, probably
shouldn't say that, then this isthe podcast for you.

(00:26):
My name is Alfred, a husband,father, and an adventure seeking
kind of guy, who over the yearshas learned to have a positive
outlook on life, regardless ofwhat society throws at me.
So if you're ready to listen,let's go.

(01:02):
Joe, welcome to the UnmodernPodcast.
How you doing,

Joe (01:05):
man?
Man, this is so cool, Alfred.
It's been a while I'm so stokedwith what you've been doing with
this podcast and everything onyour journey, man.
You're hitting it hard.
You got the momentum, you'resharing like crazy, you're doing
all the hard work.
I mean, it's fun though, right?
When it's purposeful.
So it's cool to see you showingup, man.
Thanks

Alfred (01:24):
for having me.
Yeah, no worries, man.
I appreciate it.
For those that don't know, Mr.
Joe fear here is the inspirationbehind the podcast in terms of
me actually pulling the triggeron it.
For context, Mr.
Joe is a podcast, a maestro andexpert, a person in the industry
that knows his shit and has donethe work.

(01:44):
Man, I was looking at yourwebsite.
You got over 500 episodes, 1.
6 million downloads.
I don't even know if that's upto date to be honest, man.
Probably not.
Yeah, man.
You're just, you're doing it.
Living the dream in beautiful,sunny San Diego, which is pretty

Joe (01:57):
incredible.
Yeah, man.
It's all I know.
I grew up here, man.
So it's like I've had to cut myteeth and figure out my own way
here.
And I'm not going anywhereanytime soon.
That's for sure.
Well, there'll be some stopoverseverywhere, but...
The show that you're referencinghustle and flow chart, it's been
seven years, almost seven years.
Yeah.
It's like 550 episodes orsomething like that.

(02:17):
It's crazy.
That's

Alfred (02:19):
incredible, man.
The word that comes to mind ispioneer, to be honest.
Something where you had to cutyour teeth doing it the hard
way.

Joe (02:25):
Yeah, it's like new platforms really we're findable,
I guess, like in terms of thecontent, you know starting out.
Yeah, years ago it was, andstill to this day, I feel like
podcasting, it's one of thosemediums that are just I dunno,
it's like, you gotta figure outthe marketing yourself.
I mean, podcasting, been doingthat since, what, 2013, and that
was a whole wild, wild west oftimes when, getting discovered

(02:49):
on a podcast back then wastough.
It's still tough, but it's comea long way.
There's all these differentplatforms now.
Back then, not so much.
It was like Apple and Appleonly.
And it was actually, like, thedays of, whatever the pods were
back then we had to like load upsongs almost like self select
the episodes to listen to nowit's like they're all just pipe
tea and all these platforms youknow spotify and things too but

(03:12):
yeah dude it's podcasting hasbeen a journey that's for damn
sure and hustle and flow chartmy show it's what seven years
almost seven years now and thatthing has evolved in itself and
it's helped me evolve in a lotof ways and It's been kind of
like my outlet, my expression,and that's why I keep it going.
I used to have a co host MattWolf was, is his name and he's

(03:32):
gone off into the AI crazy landof YouTubing and, and man, it's
just wild.
I love podcasting and I knowyou've heard a lot from me.
So maybe we'll talk about someof the things that, why I love
about it so much.
It's cool.
It's bringing on, it's broughtus together in a, in a much
deeper way here too.

Alfred (03:49):
It's an authentic way of.
Digesting content.
It's very unfiltered in thesense of at least the podcast
that I really gravitate to andlisten to.
I love the authenticity of it.
It's not fake.
It's usually people stickingwithin their lane to what
they're good at, whether it'sinvoking conflict or emotion, or
you get people that just allowtheir guests to do their thing,

(04:12):
but you get the hosts of JoeRogan.
And he's usually referenced as apodcast guy because it's just.
Yeah.
He does it.
He's the guy.
He challenges people's narrativetoo.
And I love that.
I love where he can come from aplace of experience and the same
thing with you.
You bring subject matter expertson your podcast to talk about
really what your niche is.
But you, you kind of taken it ina direction that applies to
everyday people.

(04:32):
And I think that's yoursuperpower.
That truly is anybody fromselling Tupperware to doing 100
million online business.
I feel like they would get valuefrom 80, 90 percent of your
episodes to a degree.
The other aspect of your episodethat I want to highlight for
people that don't know hustleand flow chart on Spotify,
Apple, all the podcastplatforms.
It's a phenomenal way.
I feel that people can scale,that's the term that you use

(04:56):
where what you talk about inyour podcast, it's a lot
different than what you hear ofa lot of people when they talk
about a hundred million dollarbusiness, like the Hormoses or
the really the highlightedpeople, they talk in a language
that doesn't make sense.
They talk in generalities, orthey'll use the term scale, but
then they won't explain it, theywon't give an example, or they
won't give an anecdotalexperience that that person may

(05:16):
have had, they'll justgeneralize it, and then they'll
either sell a program, orthey'll talk about how they
turned a billion dollar businessinto a ten billion dollar
business, and it's very hard tocompute at the very common
peasant level, I guess would bethe best way to describe it,
right?
Whereas you have a really greatway of I think your opening
statement is you're not here tocreate a billion dollar business
for people.
It's, you're here to findbalance where if you want to

(05:39):
make the same amount of money,but maybe you work 20 or 30
percent less, this might be atactic you can implore.
Or if you want to earn thatadditional 20, 30 percent while
putting in the same amount ofeffort, you're scaling and
upgrading your business, butyou're not doing it in an
unmanageable way.
And that to me is your absolutesuperpower.
And I love it, dude.

Joe (05:57):
Thank you, man.
Thanks for seeing me.
Because that's how I want to beseen.
That's how I want to presentmyself to myself first and then
to everyone else.
'cause yeah, that's, and that'sthe latest evolution of the
show.
'cause for a long time it was,the hustle part was real.
It was a lot of tactics.
It was a lot of like, go, go,gotta learn the nitty gritty,
get in the middle of it all.

(06:18):
Which is great, but at the sametime, I guess the flow chart
side of things, and this is meattaching meaning to the, I
mean, the show name has had likeso many meanings over the years,
but like, this is how I see itnow is like, you got to have
flow in your life and it can'tbusiness can't drain you and it
doesn't have to be overwhelmingand we have a choice.
It's how we show up and, Alfred,the group that we're in the

(06:40):
inner circle with Trev, Mike,and the whole gang there.
That's been such a solidfoundation for me this year with
a big transition from movingaway from having a partner
having a business partner ineverything.
I do a co host on the podcastand then finding my own voice as
a solo host.
Now, through the podcast, I'vehad to reinvent.

(07:01):
I chose to reinvent the way Ilook at things in business
because.
I found I was hustling, grindingway too much and I was, I don't
know, in a way it was almostlike trying to be something that
I wasn't or didn't really wantto be, which was like the
feeling of like, you got to gobig.
I got to hustle and grind and doall this crazy, complicated

(07:23):
stuff, like the scale thatyou're talking about, but then
realize like, you know whatbusiness really should be the
fuel for your life.
Your life comes first.
You're the foundation ofeverything.
It's how you show up for othersthrough your business.
It's a vehicle to, spread yourmessage.
And then from that rippleeffect, you can literally change
lives.
And I'm just choosing to focuson entrepreneurs and ones that.

(07:47):
At least value that side ofthings.
Shit.
I mean, like they want to scaleto a billion dollars by all
means go for it.
And I know I have some friendsthat are after that and they'll
probably get there.
And that's cool.
And I've had them on the showtoo, but at the same time, it's
like.
Bringing that perspective in andthen still figuring out, like,
all right, so what is it thatmakes these people tick in
myself as well?

(08:08):
So they can show up for thegreatest the greatest way they
can for their own being.
Some people are just wired to gohard and scale and that's cool.
I wouldn't ever want to slowsomeone like that down.
But at the same time, it's theburnout or the people that are
like trying to be, like yousaid, like the Alex Hermoses or
these.
Billionaire chasers or beers, Iguess, you know, it's like, it's

(08:30):
not made for everybody andthat's all right, you know, we
can make it ourself.
It's like understanding who weare.
So that's been my latestevolution and you've been a big
part of that, bro.
So I got to give you a hats offfor that.
I don't have a hat right now.
You do.

Alfred (08:44):
I love that.
And to put that into, digestiblefor, my audience and the
feedback that I've gotten fromthe people that listened to this
podcast is.
A great example of that in thepodcasting course, you allowed
me to, to partake in, whichbrought a ton of value is
something simple, like puttingdigestible content, but sellable
simplistic content in emailsignatures.

(09:06):
That's a great way of puttinghyperlinks to Google drive docs
or to your dream 100 list.
I know that was a really coolconcept that you brought on to
me.
I know you're not the creator ofthat concept, but you really
shared it with us of creating100.
Idealistic guests that you wouldlove and shoot for the moon on a
podcast.
And that doesn't even need to bea podcast.
If you're a regular everydayperson, if you're in sales, what

(09:26):
are some people you'd love totalk to put them in your email
signature and for people to seewhat you're up to and to click
it and be like, wow, this personwants to talk to Donald Trump or
this person wants to talk to,the Alex Hormoses of the world
or whatever.
And I think that's just a reallycool concept, a tangible way for
me to tell anybody listening tothis.
Try that, put anything in there.
If you have a landing page tosell a service, if you have even

(09:47):
something like a giveaway orsomething, just make it
digestible and easy forconsumers to buy a product, buy
a service, or even get to knowyou that much more.
That was a super simple hack,and I haven't actually updated
it.
It's in my calendar to do it onFriday this week, actually.
So I'm really stoked about that.
And that's just a really simplehack.
That you shared with me, that isa very easily digestible.

(10:08):
It's not a hidden message wherepeople, again, when people are
selling stuff and they talk, doyou want to be your best self?
And they give all these hidden,notes where it's like, I think I
understand what they're saying,but I'm not really sure.
I guess I have to buy the courseto find out That was a very easy
way for me to understand it veryquickly, very easily
understandable and legible froma very basic standpoint, no
matter the size of yourbusiness, no matter what you're

(10:30):
doing.
That was a really cool one thatI wanted to give to anybody
listening to this.

Joe (10:34):
Yeah, I can go deeper on that concept as well and kind of
bring it in.
So I'll just map it out reallyquick.
So if anyone wants to swipe it,I think it'd be super helpful.
And yeah, you don't need to be apodcaster.
You don't need to be a, I mean,it'd be helpful if you have a
business behind it, because thenyou can monetize, but at the
same time, you don't need to, itcould be a passion thing or to
connect with honestly, anyoneyou want to is so the stream 100

(10:57):
concept, like you mentioned,Alfred is.
It's adapted from a guy namedChet Holmes who came up with
this dream 100 concept, but Ijust applied it here.
And essentially the idea, likeyou said, is to connect with
anyone you want and to leverageyour network, the people that
you're already talking with,connected with an email or

(11:17):
social or person to person andput a hundred names could be 50,
it could be less, but it's like.
Put a hundred names of peoplethat you would love to connect
with and shoot for the moon.
They don't all have to be hugenames.
Like maybe there's some folksthat are like a connection or
two away from you that you thinkit would be, you'd just be
stoked to connect with forwhatever reason.

(11:38):
Maybe you have like I saidproduct service, but ideally you
have something To invite themto, or maybe get them featured
somehow, get them media get themsome exposure to people that you
kind of have that control over,like how you can help them get
more awareness because that's, Imean, people are always wanting
to, people love to connect withother people that value them,

(11:59):
but at the same time, obviouslyhave something of value for them
as well.
So like for you and yourpodcast, Alfred, like.
It's a no brainer.
Yeah, you stack a bunch of nameson here and you show your value
through your podcast and youinvite them onto your stage,
essentially your virtual podcaststage, you know, I've done this
for my podcast for years now.

(12:20):
And what's really cool is, I'llput the names like Elon Musk on
there, Bill Gates, or, you know,some.
Out there shots.
And I think it said this in thecourse, but it's like, I've
never connected with any ofthose folks, but I have
connected with a whole bunch ofother people.
On the, on the list or peoplelike those people.
So I actually got connected toElon Musk's old roommate in

(12:43):
college through like a adifferent bookkeeper that we
were interfacing with andthey're like, Oh, actually I
know.
So it's like, you never knowwho's in your network or who's
kind of close to you, unless youput it out there.
So the point is put all thesenames on a Google sheet.
That's what I prefer and suggesthere.
Because a lot of us are usingthese gmails if you're not, it's

(13:03):
okay, not out of luck.
But if you're using, it's like aGoogle based email.
It could be a work email aswell.
If you put all those names on aGoogle sheet and define the
people that you think would begreat for your audience, and you
can give value to know thatthose names could open up a
whole bunch of other names thatpeople can refer to.
And what you do is you plug inthe link to that sheet in your

(13:26):
email signature.
So it's attached to every singleemail that goes out.
Whenever you're sending a basicemail to anyone could be your
colleagues, friends.
Whoever, now it's going to putthis little preview, this little
attachment to the email thatkind of incentive it, basically
it's intriguing.
It's like, what's this littleattachment that Alfred put to
this email?

(13:47):
You know, it says dream 100, youknow, people like, do you know
anyone that it's like a, if youkeep it kind of open like that,
people are like, what the hellis this?
And, you can make the link, saythat in your signature as well.
And just with that move alone,I've gotten so many different
referrals coming my way.
Where it might be someone on thelist or it might be a handful of
people that are similar to thepeople on the list.

(14:09):
You're immediately getting warmintroductions to folks that are
relevant to the people thatyou're looking for.
And typically the connectionsthat you're seeing your email,
they're probably going to trustyou.
They're probably going to knowenough about you to like, all
right.
Alfred would be really cool ifhe chatted with this person and
had him on the podcast or justgot to know him and figure out
how to collab on somethingtogether.

(14:30):
And that's essentially it.
You can share it on social,share it with your pretty much
anyone in your circle.
And it's a cool organized way toshow people how you want to show
up and who you want to connectwith.
And.
It's all about who, you know, Imean, it's like the common
saying, but now you can beintentional about it.
And this is the way I do it.

Alfred (14:49):
I love that.
And I think it's also a hack forpeople mentally too, where if
you have a very diverse list andyou have the home run guys, like
the Elon's and the Bill Gatesand the Bezos of the world and
all those guys, but then alsomaybe on the same list, you have
the mayor of your town.
And I think it'd be a reallycool concept that if you have a
list.
Yeah.
Where you're able to talk tosomebody on the list that's also
on a list with Elon and stuff, Ifeel like almost

(15:10):
psychologically, that would makeyou feel like you're getting to
that person or you're on yourway up to maybe being on, not
necessarily the same level, butperhaps being on the radar or
the radar of somebody who knowsthem, or maybe an ex engineer at
SpaceX or something crazy likethat, and I feel like that would
be a really cool concept.
You don't need to maybe go on alist like 1 to 100 and have the
lowest name at the 100.

(15:30):
I don't think you need to playthat game.
But I think that would generatemomentum and generate drive and
generate, Holy crap, people areseeing this.
People are referring me orpeople are telling me maybe to
hook up with this person whoknows that person and do a
little bit of homework and findout who are some people local to
you that are realistic peoplethat are relevant to whatever
your goal, your business, yourstrategy or dream, whatever it

(15:52):
may be.
I just think that's a super coolconcept and I loved it.
And that really stuck with me.
And like, I'm still working onmine.
I think I have about 70 names onmine.
And but yeah, you just chip awayat it.
And I think it's just such areally simple, cool concept and
you provide it in an Excel,Google drive, very simple to
fill out.
So I appreciate that, man.
That was super cool.
And I just, anybody who'slistening to this, that's just a
really easy way, low effort, butto get exposure and who knows,

(16:17):
you may not get feedback for itfor a couple of months, but then
maybe.
You might even forget about it.
And somebody says, Holy crap.
I seen that you wanted to talkto the mayor.
My brother works in theiroffice.
That's super cool.
Something simple.
And that's just a really, reallycool concept.
Yeah.

Joe (16:30):
And this is a, you know, having a podcast or some outlet
is helpful.
I'm not going to say everyoneneeds to have a podcast or
something like that, but youknow, if you have one, or if you
have a blog or some YouTubechannel, I mean, everybody's got
Instagram brands.
And now it seems it's like,well, Invite people onto those.
You can do all these collabs onany platform that you kind of

(16:51):
choose or that you find yourselfgravitating to.
So harness that and then just beintentional with the people you
want to collab with because itjust makes it easier when you're
co creating, you know, it's, Ifeel like it's richer for
everybody and then you get thatbigger spread of the message out
there.

Alfred (17:06):
That's super cool.
So that was a really cool littlehack that anybody who's
listening, check that out.
You did mention earlier to theinner circle with extremely
conscious.
That's something that me and youhave been in since the
beginning.
For anybody that doesn't know meand Joe have actually never met
in person, but you would neverknow because I feel like we're
kindred spirits, dude.
No joke.
It's a.
We're both girl dads.
We're both motivated guys.
We both have businesses.

(17:27):
We just align on so much stuffand you've been a pillar, dude.
You've been this guy that livesin the sunny state in the U S
busy life.
But you're so grounded, dude.
And you talked about evolutionand we were actually talking
about it this morning.
In the inner circle, we sharedaily prompts with each other
and we kind of support eachother in that way.
So we literally talk to eachother every day.

(17:47):
It's pretty incredible.
And where I was going with thisis with that inner circle, we've
seen a lot of growth, but I feellike you're on this trajectory
of just shooting for the stars,man.
And it's such an inspiration tolook at somebody who your
backstory, which we're going toget into here right away.
You have every reason to come upwith, call it an excuse, call it

(18:11):
burnout, whatever you want tosay, even though that is your
niche of learning to recognizethat and manage that.
Anybody who would look at yourschedule, look at your life,
look at everything you havegoing on, they would say, how,
where do you have the time?
And this really interestingphrase that I came across a few
months ago, and I know I sharedit with you, but you might not
remember is somebody mentionedthat the person working at

(18:34):
McDonald's has the same amountof time in a day that Elon Musk
has.
He doesn't have more timelately.
There's 24 hours in a day.
That's what you get.
Maybe he sleeps less than you.
Maybe he leverages otherpartnerships, but you have the
exact same amount of time inyour day.
And this came when we wereauditing our time within the
group for people that don'tknow.
You can go on your Apple orAndroid phone and you can

(18:55):
actually break it down how muchtime you're spending on your
phone per app, what you'redoing.
And there was a couple of timeson there where it was like six,
seven hours when we firststarted.
And I think we all got it downto about three or four.
But like, if I told a personthat you could create two or
three additional productivehours in your day, I think it
would absolutely shock them.
I really do.
And for you, like, working outevery day we're doing breath

(19:17):
work every day.
We're checking in with eachother every day.
Sometimes it's one o'clock inthe morning when you're driving
back from a mastermind, like you

Joe (19:23):
gotta do it.
And then get up at 5 30, thenext morning,

Alfred (19:28):
exactly.
And this is this new evolutionthat we're in on the inner
circle.
But where I want to highlightthis is you're the type of
person that has every reasonthat somebody you're looking at
this, be like, how does this guydo it?
So I don't know if you want tojust share people with that,
your growth from when the innercircle first started and reason,
and really the reason why wereached out to something like
this.
Cause now, if you told me thatyou weren't in the inner inner

(19:49):
circle anymore, I still thinkyou'd have tools to be much
better than when we firststarted.
A hundred percent.
Yes.
And then, yeah, so if you couldjust share with that, like, what
an average day looks like, howyou time block your day.
And really how you leverage thatto be the most productive self,
but still also be grounded andyeah, I just I love that because
you're the epitome of wherepeople may look at that and say,

(20:11):
he shouldn't be able to do that.
Where does he have the time, butyou make it work.

Joe (20:15):
I don't know how I do it, bro.
No, I do.
I have a good idea, but I lookat my calendar.
Usually every day.
There's a lot of things.
So, What I want to do is I'lltell you what I'm doing right
now.
Like what you just asked andwhat you set me up for.
And then I think after this,let's get into kind of like what
led me to this point, because Ithink, well, I know there was a
major breakdown, multiplebreakdowns happening before all

(20:38):
of this.
So this year, 2023, what was itlike February or something?
We all jumped in this thingtogether.
So yeah, right around there.
So I knew Trevor prior to andtrusted him and he was reaching
out to me telling me, yeah,there's this group coming up and
a bunch of guys that, well, it'snot even a bunch.
It was a handful of guys, just agroup of guys that were getting
together with this shared thing.

(20:59):
And it's essentially to bewealthy in all areas of life and
be very intentional, beconscious about things.
And so fast forwarding to kindof where I'm at right now.
So I'll just like do a quickrecap, like beginning of the
year.
I didn't have any systems dialedin.
I was coming out of a businessthat I had with a partner for.

(21:19):
It was like 10 plus years, kindof off and on, different avenues
with him, but either way, it wasalways like a partnership and
we're there supporting eachother along the way.
And still a great friend ofmine, you know, Matt, I
mentioned him earlier.
And so the podcast was in aplace.
And honestly, the podcast Imentioned, my hustle flowchart
podcast is this pillar.

(21:40):
That has allowed me to, and it'salmost like forced me to keep
going and stay focused.
And like I mentioned before,it's been an outlet and I was
close to giving it up.
And I had a mentor of mine,James Schramko.
He's out in Australia, greatbusiness coach.
And he was like and this is likeone of the pretty close to the
exact words he told me.

(22:00):
I think it was like maybeDecember ish or late November.
And he was like, what's goingon?
Yeah.
He just wanted to check in withme.
And this guy's consulting withpeople for a lot of money.
He was like, Joe, we got Chad.
Am I right?
So, and he was like so whateverything, everything you guys
did was great, but.
What we did, honestly, just aquick pivot is like, we

(22:20):
literally pivoted our businessfrom this entrepreneur marketing
space.
And we went deep into the cryptoweb three and like blockchain
metaverse space, which isexciting and fun and all this
stuff.
But at the same time.
We completely left behind anetwork and an audience and all
of these and kind of alienatedpeople in a way that was, it

(22:42):
wasn't right that I just, inretrospect is like, there was
just a, and what we did is we,it was a very tough time and I
guess I'm kind of going back tothe backstory just slightly, but
the point is he told me, it waslike, you guys chose to go play
out in the forest and have funover there.
Yeah.
Try something new and you leftthis castle with all the gold

(23:02):
bricks which is the podcast andthat's still there.
He was like, you could still goback and claim the castle and
claim all in and like theaudience being the gold bricks
because he's done the samehimself.
He's revamped a show multipletimes and he's like.
It doesn't just go away,podcasts are cool in that
regard.
It's like, there's that bond,that connection subscribers, all
these things.

(23:22):
And so I took his advice and Ithought, I'm like, how would I
do this myself?
And what does that look like?
And that's where the whole likeburnout finding fuel for your
life, through your business.
But really it starts with me.
So saying all that, I justwanted to kind of preface that
and fast forward to where I'm atnow.
I mean, really this whole yearhas been a year of figure out

(23:43):
what my message is.
So that's like started on thepodcast.
And then it's like, how do Isustain that message where it's
not all on me to do all thethings?
Because it's, it can be a lot ofwork, especially the way my
brain works.
I think I know too much whereI'm just like, All right, shit.
I gotta figure out like thevideo component.
I want to do the blog post.
Right.
Redo the website.

(24:04):
Got an email list.
Connect with awesome people inmy network.
Cause I'm blessed with afreaking phenomenal network that
I've curated in and hustled andgrind to create for 10 plus
years, almost 15 actually.
For a while, like for a goodcouple of years, I felt like I
just kind of neglected thatwhole network.
I was like, holy shit, they'rethe ones that brought me here.

(24:25):
I'm like, why would I ever dothat?
And so this year was kind oflike recalibrating myself and
tapping back in and finding whoI am as a solo host.
And also someone in business.
And at the same time, knowingthat I wasn't showing up for my
family properly, the last likehandful of years, I was feeling
stressed.
I wasn't providing or allowingenough energy to go to them.

(24:48):
I was too consumed in my ownstuff and it was business, some
stuff before that was emotional.
We'll talk about some familystuff I went through and really
now, and because of the grouphas been a huge rock, the.
The inner circle because of themicro habits, like these things
that we do every single day,it's like 10 plus items.

(25:09):
And like you mentioned, breathwork, working out just
hydration, getting enough sleepjournaling, all this self
reflective work.
It's allowed me to kind of seethese patterns that I had, that
I was walking around with.
And I feel like my emotions weregetting in the way too often, or
I would default back to somepast stuff and then that would

(25:31):
get me stuck.
So I wouldn't move forward.
So that's like a whole reframethere.
It's been a bunch of reframesthis year to the point where
it's kind of all this stuff issnowballing, I guess, and way to
say it is like.
The business side, I was findingmy voice.
The network was starting to seewhat I was doing.
I was expressing myself throughthe podcast more.
I was just putting myself outthere more.

(25:51):
And what do you know when you dothat?
Anybody does that?
Like that's, I guess, a takeawayaction point is like, just start
expressing, just start sharingshit, like everywhere, anywhere.
Whatever your modality is couldjust be Facebook or Instagram
stories, whatever, just startlike turn on the microphone, the
camera and share what's truebecause the people, someone will

(26:11):
connect.
And then that person knowsanother someone, and then, it
goes from there.
And that's where I found myselfnow, Alfred is like, yeah, I get
invites to masterminds where I'min groups where if I'm
expressing myself and share mywins and stuff, which was like
an example last night.
I'd like four people around methat are very high level
business owners, multimilliondollar businesses.

(26:33):
And they're hearing about mypodcast and like some of the
cool shit that's happening, likeHubSpot just got me included me
into their podcast network.
So that's cool.
It's going to give medistribution to millions of
people and who knows wherethat'll go.
But I'm like, I'm going to throwmy hat in there and see where it
takes it.
And I'm going to do the best Ican.
And just things like that.
I'm just like, if I put it outthere.

(26:55):
The right things are going tocome.
And then yeah, quickly, myschedule can look a little wonky
and crazy.
So that comes to gettingintentional about how I want to
build my day and.
Family's first for me and makingsure I guess it's family, but
self, honestly, itself, it'slike the whole oxygen mask
principle.
It's like, if I don't show upfor myself, if I'm not kind to

(27:19):
myself, compassionate withgetting enough rest and sleep or
just taking some time off toplay.
Hang out with my dog who's nextto me.
Like there's like things likeelements I'm integrating into my
life where before it was justlike work,, and usually it was
like in another office or insome other house where we'd all
work together.
And I just felt like there wasmuch more of a, there was a

(27:41):
line.
Now it's like I've integratedfamily, home life, working out,
like I have a gym right behindme.
So I kind of, I break throughoutthe day and I'll bust out part
of the a hundred pushups that wedo every single day or a workout
for 20 minutes hop on the micand share some stuff or do
breath work.
It's like.
I try to integrate all thatstuff into the days of like

(28:02):
having multiple podcasts like Ido today.
Like, I'll do this, I'll hop ona call after this, but like, I
know things are kind of, thingsare time blocked and I have
intentionality around it all.
And I don't beat myself up if Idon't stick to everything.
I think that's the thing islike, I'm kind to myself and
this is my work in progress now.
Luckily, my wife always remindsme, Hey, be kind to my Joey.

(28:26):
That's what she tells me.
And I'm like, yeah, thanks.
You know, it's always thatreminder.
I can't have the go energy allthe time because that literally
would just break down meinternally and just not feel
good.
And that's not why I'm doingthis anyway.
But at the same time, there's anoutlet and I think it's, I see
it as a game.
Like Alex Ramos, he talks aboutplaying the game.

(28:47):
Sure.
It might be the billionaire,,game that he's playing, but I
don't know.
It's fun.
You know, when you see likethings starting to happen,
synchronicities, people showingup that want some advice or
support from something that'skind of like I created or
something that is a superpowerof mine, it's really
understanding that and thentapping into that and then

(29:07):
creating some structure aroundit.
That's not too rigid, it's likerigid but flexible at the same
time.
Anti fragile, I think that'slike a, that's a book that kind
of talks about.
That concept a little bit,

Alfred (29:19):
No, I love that dude.
When you talk about a full day,I know for me before we started
the inner circle the amount oftimes that I would spend on
youtube on instagram on facebookreally just mindless stuff
watching people play videogames.
It's something simple like that,where like, I know Twitch is
massive and you have peopleliterally just watching other
people play video games.
It's this mindless nonproductive.
And I'm not saying don't do itbecause if it excites you in

(29:40):
that video game or whateveryou're watching, if that content
is exciting for you, that'sfantastic.
But I find myself now and you'reprobably the same as if I was to
compare beginning the innercircle.
And now the amount of stuff thatI do that I thought was for me.
I thought this is my time todecompress.
This is my time to get thatvice.
This is my time to get thatlittle escape.

(30:01):
I've reframed that escape now inbeing something that truly
benefits me, whether it's myphysical, my mental, my
emotional, my psychological,whatever it may be.
And you mentioned that we dohave a spreadsheet with micro
habits is what we refer to themas something like reading 10
pages a day, doing a hundredpushups breath work meditation
or whatever.
And everybody's is different.

(30:21):
We curate it to really suit ourneeds.
And it's changed.
We've had it, I think for 10months now, and I've had 10
different versions of it, but wechange and.
It's grown.
And if I was to compare myspreadsheet from month one to
now, and I look at mypercentages, they're likely
about the same, but my metricshave increased.
I'm doing more pushups.
I'm getting more sleep.

(30:41):
I'm spending more time withfamily.
And that has.
Eliminated the space foranything that's not serving me
right now, I'm still spendingthe same amount of time a day.
I still live 24 hours a day.
That's the clock.
It never changes, but it's muchdifferent.
My day looks different.
It's busier, but I can now takeon more stuff.
And I think that's where youwere getting at.

(31:02):
You talk about hub spotmasterminds before tHe inner
circle, there might've been somethings on there that maybe you
were YouTubing yard work ormaybe you were looking up some
other stuff and you kind of lookback and you're like, what was I
doing?
And part of that is the grind.
There are going to be times inyour development that there's
going to need to come a day or aweek where you just got to go,
you just got to get after it,but recognizing it and getting

(31:22):
ahead of it.
So for me, that's been a massivebreakthrough for me where I'm
still on YouTube.
I still do those sorts ofthings.
But a lot of times, rather thanwatching, I don't know, the
highlights of a football gamefor 15 minutes, I'll spend 15
minutes YouTube being how tocreate an Excel spreadsheet on
how to extrapolate data from aprogram or something simple like

(31:43):
that.
That serves me in the long run.
I'm still learning.
I'm still getting it.
I may not be getting my kickssort of speak, but I'm more
intentional with that time.
Where I can stack those wins.
And I feel that's been thebreakthrough for me because I
feel like I'm busier than I everhave been, but I'm also
producing at a higher rate thanI ever have in my life.
And do you feel good about it?

(32:04):
Exactly.
It generates momentum.
It generates this urge to knowthat if I take 15 minutes in the
morning to just meditate orbreathe and just get out of my
own head.
I feel a reset.
I feel energetic.
I feel, the best version ofmyself.
So I don't get down on myselfwhere I don't have the time.
I don't have the energy.
I don't have the space.

(32:24):
It's these fallacies we tellourselves and it's not true, but
you hit the nail on the headwhere it's self first and I
fucking love that oxygen maskconcept.
That is super fucking cool.
Cause everybody can relate tothat.
It's incredible.
It's unbelievable.
Cause yeah, I'm going to put themask on my wife and child, but
I'm going to die.
And that's my last act ofservice.
Like that makes no

Joe (32:44):
fucking sense.
They don't want that.
They want, they want you to bethere and to be that rock or not
even the rock, but just to bethere for them.
Yeah.
And shit.
I love that because I guess I'lltalk about like, I would have a
lot of guilt if I wasn't showingup for my family and being the
best that I felt like I could bebecause I would, whatever, it
could be work getting in the wayor something else.

(33:07):
But, Yeah, I think, and thenthere is, for a while, I was
guilt about like, oh,breathwork, where I could be go
hanging out with my family orsomething, or doing a workout.
But it's like, oh, I could bedoing something else with them
to show up, clean the house oryard work or whatever.
But it's like, yeah, the reframeI had, and I think this is

(33:28):
through having honestconversations with my wife, and
she knows, My intention for thefamily and for everything is
like, I need to show it for me.
And it's very obvious if myenergy is off, that's going to,
it's like dark energy.
I can't bring that to them.
I don't want it for myself, butI sure as hell don't want to
push it on other people.
And I know that if I'm notgetting myself to like this

(33:51):
baseline content, neutral levelwith my emotions first, because
I.
I feel like I am very emotionalas a person, or at least I
internalize these things.
It's not like I'm crying my eyesout all the time but it's more
like I feel it like I take onemotions and I know that myself
and through practices likemeditation, breath work, all

(34:13):
these things where I'm beingintentional and then also
expressing that with a group ofpeople that understand the
journey and we're all goingthrough our own, but.
Man, it like cleared a lot ofshit, which is really cool.
And I'll give it a little tool.
So Jordan Peterson's self theauthoring program, even if you
just do like a fraction of it,you're going to start to see

(34:34):
like these, like, Holy molymoments, you know?
And then for me, it was reallydiving into my past and, and
these things that I felt likewere very low points, high
points, but either way,impactful points that I think my
brain would.
Remember, maybe go back to incertain stressful times, or if
I'm challenged in something, beit in business, be it with my

(34:57):
wife or my kids, yeah, now Ifeel like I'm way more just
neutral.
And not meaning I don't care,but I'm like, I've cleared that
I'm aware of things from mypast.
And I know where I want to go.
Like, I know how I want to showup.
And it's up to me to fuckingshow up that way because no one
else can regulate my ownemotions or regulate my internal

(35:20):
being and state because I wantto express myself to everyone in
my highest power.
And the way I found is just,yeah, like the practices we've
been putting in every single dayand it's a grind.
doesn't necessarily get easiereither.
Like what you said, thingschange.
The numbers aren't necessarilygoing up and I used to beat
myself up over it.
Like I got to get it done 100percent every day.

(35:43):
I got to check all the boxes.
And to be honest, I've been dogshit at checking boxes lately.
But saying that, I think I'vebeen making way more momentum in
progress.
Throughout everything.
And I think we all have to it'slike you get these evolution
points and, through the selfawareness, stripping away old
layers, and then figuring outwhat to stack back on.

(36:03):
But in new versions of your skinor whatever you.
And I'm thinking of likeTransformers now and all this
other shit.
So it's crazy.
But what I've found is like thisyear it just proves to me that
you can change yourself and it'sup to you making a choice to
commit to you.
And then also commit to what isit that matters to you in your

(36:24):
life around you, your family,your friends.
Your business, whatever, yourcommunity, something that you
can really have an impact andripple with.

Alfred (36:33):
And speaking of the past, people might listen to
this episode up to this pointand be like, man, this Joe guy's
got life figured out andAlfred's on his trajectory and
life is all good.
But you and I both know it wasnot always the case and everyone
has a past.
Everyone has a story.
Everyone has a turning point intheir life.
And I'd love to kind of trailthis podcast more to your past

(36:55):
because I feel like that is sucha powerful symbol to people that
no matter the Mount Everest orthe no matter.
What obstacle you're facing thatyou think that maybe you have it
worse than anybody else.
There's people out there thathave it worse than you, man.
Truly, truly do.
And rarely, rarely, I wouldactually make the statement,
never in your life, if you havea really bad problem, or you
have a mountain that you feelyou can't climb, that standing

(37:17):
still and doing nothing is asolution.
It never is.
It never is, and it's all aboutpeople.
It's all about community andconnection.
And I'd love for you to just goback as far as you want, really.
Your whole girl, dad experiencethe story around your father, if
you're willing to share that allthat stuff, go back as far as
you want, really a moment thatyou feel like you can start and
move forward with that.

(37:37):
Cause your story, dude, isinspirational to me.
It truly is.
It's such a mountain that I lookat and I'm like, man, this guy
came out, not only on the otherside I don't want to say
unscathed, but not on the otherside.
Alive, but better than you everhave been.
These polarizing words likedestiny, faith all this sort of
stuff just comes to mind when Ithink of this stuff where it's
like, there's no way there isn'ta higher power or a bigger being

(37:58):
or a purpose towards Joe, or hehas a mission.
It all aligns with it.
So yeah, start off wherever youfeel like, but I can't wait for
people to hear this.

Joe (38:05):
Yeah, I'm trying to think where I've told it in so many
ways and like I mentioned thatself authoring program, like
it's really helped me findneutrality with all these things
and also brought up a bunch ofother shit.
So who, where'd it go?
I'll just say the last like fouryears, yeah, four years is

(38:26):
probably, eh, five years.
I'll add another one.
It's been like this crazy swingsof up and downs and I start with
five years because I lost one ofmy best buddies he died at the
age of 37 I think and Drinkingjust treating his body like
shit, but it wasn't just that hehad a whole trouble childhood

(38:50):
It's my boy Peter and I gottagive him some love because I
mean I got a picture of him inmy garage Oh my dad, which I'll
get to in a moment And likeevery day I work out, I always
say I give him a what up, youknow, and give him some love,
both the guys.
And yeah, so that was the firstpoint when I was like, holy
crap.
This is a guy I literally wentto preschool with.
I grew up, like, way young withthis guy, lived in the

(39:13):
neighborhood, and one of thethings that I think that got him
on this troubled kind of, Idon't want to say troubled,
because it wasn't his fault,like, it's not usually our
fault, but it's just somethinghappened.
His brother committed suicidewhen he was in middle school his
brother was in high school, andI remember that point being
like...

(39:33):
What the fuck?
What does that mean?
Like, that was the first time Ithought about death and like,
what's it like?
Is it just blackness?
Like a void?
Like what goes down, you know?
As a kid and I was, Shoot.
I was in elementary school, so Iwas a little younger than Pete
and that was like the first timeand I have is having chats with
my dad about things and stufflike that.

(39:55):
And there's like, man, I don'tget it, you know, and that was
just confusion.
And I remember that being like,just something it was in my
head, you know fast forward my,let's see, my parents got
divorced when I was in middleschool and I was kind of right
in the middle of all of that.
And then that was the firstpoint where I felt more
responsibility because I wasessentially becoming the man of

(40:17):
the house at far too young of anage from what I was wanting.
So in reflection, that's where Irealized like some like weird
anger came out.
Like there was this likeinteresting side of me, which
never really appeared before.
I was more of a shy kid and kindof continued that way until.
Early, mid high school, which isweird.

(40:38):
Cause I was just talking to abuddy yesterday and we were
talking about this, one of theseguys in the mastermind that was
kind of like stuttering, justnot a super smooth speaker.
And I was like, dude, I used tobe like that, but guess what
helped out podcasting andplaying in a band in front of
people and putting myself outthere.
Expressing it's all the shitthat I've been talking about.
And he's like, you really?

(40:59):
I'm like, yeah, like it's true.
So you can change yourself and,but the point, I felt like life
was almost going a little bittoo quick in a lot of ways.
And dad not being around, causehe ended up what, like years
later moved to the East coast.
So didn't really have him arounda lot and always loved the guy,

(41:20):
he was, I don't know.
I felt like he became more of afriend in a lot of ways than a
father figure, at that point.
Which was tough because that'sconfusing.
So it was like I said, a lot ofresponsibility, a lot of
confusion.
So I think that was happening inthose years, like middle school
to high school.
And then it's like, yeah, bandand all this fun stuff kind of

(41:40):
started happening.
So I gravitated my friends alot, but that led me to
entrepreneurship.
Ultimately, that's kind of how Imet up with my buddy, Matt.
through band friends and thenthat kind of kicked off that
journey into this spaceultimately, But then, let's just
say the last five years, so backto Peter, so I lost him, that
was kind of a big, that was amassive shock, being like, holy

(42:01):
shit, okay, only like 37 yearsold, that's not that old, and I
just saw what life did to him,and I think he couldn't get
past, like, losing his brotherreally young, having a hard
childhood, I mean, there's a lotof anger there too, so, you
know, In a lot of ways, I waslike, holy shit moment for me to
figure out like, what are thethings I'm ignoring, maybe

(42:23):
patterns or things that Ihaven't gotten past.
And this didn't really liketotally clarify at the, at that
moment, but now in retrospect.
This is why it was so impactful.
So it was about a year laterafter that October, 2019.
It was, what was it?
The eighth, I believe.
I got a knock on the front doorat like six in the morning.

(42:47):
And it was a dude in businessattire, but then I was like, who
the hell's knocking at the door?
And he was like, looking in thewindow and stuff like that.
And I'm like.
Because at first I was like, I'mnot going to open it, you know,
and I was like, okay, I betteropen this door, you know, and he
was like, are you Joseph fear?
I'm like, he's like, is yourfather Joseph fear?
Cause he had the same name andyeah, it's like, well, he died

(43:12):
yesterday and I was like, okaytell me more, please, because.
It was a week before that Italked with him my dad and he
was in South Carolina.
So other coast from me in, inCalifornia and yeah, he
committed suicide.
He basically, there was no otherindication, no note, no nothing,

(43:34):
but it was just boom.
Like something happened still tothis day.
Don't know why.
It's crazy, but I think, inretrospect, there's a lot of
things that I saw in his habitschanging and just a lot of stuff
over time, he didn't seem likehim anymore, like that last call

(43:55):
and really even like the yearleading up to that point.
This guy was an avid runner.
He played music all the time.
Super social, super fun.
He worked at a hospital and thendecided to quit and basically go
move and hang out with agirlfriend of his in a different
town.
So it's like, it kind ofuprooted him in so many ways.

(44:16):
He used to cook all the time,like dreamed of food of like,,
home grown, like.
Not homegrown, but everythingfrom scratch.
Like the guy would have literaldreams.
Like I remember as a kid askinghim like, what did you dream
about last night?
And he was like, I'm going tomake the best chicken enchiladas
with blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, you're weird, man.
But that's awesome.
And he came through.

(44:36):
He was a great cook.
And I learned a lot.
That's what makes me want tocook more.
And I know you have a passionfor that as well.
Yeah, dude.
So, all this stuff he stoppeddoing, like, I think, like
literally the last call, he wassaying he was getting Burger
King for their dog that wasn'tfeeling too good.
But I'm like, fucking BurgerKing?

(44:57):
Really?
Like, this doesn't sound likeyou.
Like, he would never touch fastfood, none of this stuff.
Point is, I was like, this isweird.
And back to, learning that mydad just committed suicide.
I was in shock, didn't know whatthe hell was going on.
So there's that two weeks laterI had the birth of my first

(45:18):
daughter.
Just like, huh?
So literally it was a pop updouble whammy, super low moment.
Super high moment, but still avery confusing moment all the
way through.
And prior to having my firstdaughter, we have been doing IVF
treatments for, I think at thatpoint, like seven years, maybe

(45:39):
six years and tons of tries,tons of money out front.
We did fostering actually priorto all this, I kind of skipped
over that, but we fostered.
A handful of kids, one for what,15 months.
So it's a crazy journey there.
So that was like, it's just beenwild.
But the point is we have ourdaughter and she's freaking
phenomenal and still is, andthat was a point where I just

(46:01):
lost my dad, got my daughter.
I'm like, what the hell is goingon?
You know?
And then right after that COVIDhits and then this whole like
world pandemic shutdown.
So then it's like a wholenother.
Layer of crazy going on, andagain, confusion.
So throughout all this time,here I am like analyzing what

(46:22):
the fuck is going on.
And.
Business, what I was doing wasjust honestly work that I didn't
feel super inspired by in a lotof ways, like, especially the
pivot, it was just a lot of feltlike a lot of grind in a moment
that I needed time to reallyanalyze and be conscious about

(46:43):
what the hell just happened andunderstand myself and.
And honestly, it wasn't untilgetting into the inner circle
where I really, I did a lot ofself work prior to, but never as
intentional as what we're doinghere.
And where I uncovered a lot ofthese past things that I now can
see, these patterns that I waskind of walking with.

(47:05):
And things that I would noticefrom like my dad, because
there's a lot of things that,you know, like I mentioned, the
habits that trailed off for himthat led, I don't know if this
is the cause, but I thinkthey're definitely in the mix
there.
It's like, those are like fivecore habits or whatever that he
lived by for as long as I knownhim.
And that was a good, you know,36 years.

(47:26):
So I'm like, man, when you justchange that fast within a year,
it just showed me how fastsomething can.
You're like, don't take your eyeoff habits,, you got to keep at
least the core things that makeyou, you, because shit can get
really dark, really fast.
Especially if you're feelingalone, if you're feeling like
you're away from your core groupor people that love you and

(47:48):
really care for, you know, younot saying the girlfriend he had
didn't love and care for him,but sure as hell didn't know the
30 plus years that I did and allthe different things that made
him who he was and.
That's where I immediatelystarted looking at myself, and
being like, okay, I now have adaughter in this world.
I actually have another onecoming up so it's like.

(48:10):
All of this, these were infoster daughter that I'm still
in touch with too.
I'm like, I get to show up forthese girls and I sure as hell,
I'm going to learn from allthese losses and crazy turbulent
times that I just experienced.
And like, I got to find meaningand figure out like, how do I
avoid some of these things,these pitfalls that I'm seeing,

(48:31):
one of my best friends, my dadthe world, it's kind of like.
All of these layers, what do I,you know, make meaning and how
do I apply that to myself so Ican show up better and it's
always crazy to tell thesestories, but yeah, there's a lot
more meaning than ever now, andI'm happy that you've heard a
lot of these, in depth and Ibring it up often, but in like

(48:52):
different areas, because, it's,I don't know, we all have our
dark moments, but the key thingis to like, yeah.
What I found is like reallylooking deeper into them and
like, what's the meaning behindthese things?
And it could be something far inyour past or something that just
happened yesterday and it'slike, really just get to know
what happened?
Like be very clear, explicitabout, what was the scenario

(49:17):
and.
It's going to hurt it's going tofeel, it's not going to be
comfortable thinking or writingthis stuff out.
But at the same time, when youbring it to your awareness, like
right there in front of you,then you can figure out it's
like, okay, well, what was like,how are you feeling about that?
Maybe back then, maybe now getvery intentional about like,
what can you make of this?
But know that it is the past.

(49:40):
It doesn't mean we need adefault to that reaction or
whatever that feeling was honorit.
But what are you going to doabout it now?
And how do you learn?
So yeah, that's what honestlypumps me up the most and gets me
lit up for even things on thebusiness.
I get pumped because I know theexpression that I put out there
that's what's bringing thesepeople to me into my circle.

(50:01):
And yeah, I'm not going toquestion the fact that people
are showing up because I'm like,you're hearing me.
So I'm like.
Let's fucking do some cool stufftogether.
Let's co create.
That's the word that I keepthinking.
And I think that's what peoplewant.
They want to do cool stuff withpeople and have a meaning and a
purpose behind it.
So I'll stop there for now.

Alfred (50:21):
Your story is incredible, man.
I love it.
From day one, when I heard aboutit, I'm like this guy from San
Diego and I slowly startedlearning about your dad and,
infertility.
And then now you have daughternumber 2 and it's this
trajectory that you're on, dude.
You're pointed in the directionof the stratosphere and you're
moving so fast and I love it.
Going back to, your dad and theunfortunate circumstance around
that I think we both agreed thatwe found the inner circle at a

(50:43):
time that I don't want to say wewere that low, but we weren't
trending in the direction wewanted to.
We weren't showing up in theways that we wanted to, and
there's all these euphemisms andmetaphors and inspirational
quotes online, but you just gotto do the work.
And that's the thing is you canshare all the shit you want to
share.
You can, preach all the stuffyou want to preach, but it's in
the doing and going back to whenyou say that, your father's

(51:04):
identity was cooking and runningand all this stuff, it brings me
back.
I don't know exactly where Ifound this or, the source behind
it, but I heard this a while agowhere it says you need to find
your identity and not letsomething define you.
Don't allow a circumstance todefine you.
Don't allow infertility todefine if you're, whether you're
going to be a parent or not,don't let a failure in business
determine whether or not you'regoing to be a business person.

(51:25):
Everybody has their core thingsthat they're good at, that they
can leverage into whatever theywant.
There's this false mentalitythese days.
Where people are told you can dowhatever you want, there's no
reason why you can't do anythingand everything and I don't think
that's because there is a degreeof truth to it, but I don't
think it's prefaced enough with.
I don't know a single personthat is successful, whether it's

(51:48):
a celebrity or an onlinepersonality or people that I
know that haven't gone throughthe shit they haven't gone
through the hard stuff.
Before you learn how to buy apolished system that knows how
to do certain things, you got toknow what it means.
You got to know what went intoit.
You got to know how it appliesto you.
And the only way to do that isto know what doesn't apply to
you, what doesn't work for you.

(52:08):
And that's been a massive growthpart for me is rather than
dwelling on my negatives and mypast and my shortcomings and my
failures, I learned from thembecause Tom Brady, who's my
favorite athlete of all time,really said a ringing phrase in
his man in the arenadocumentary, he said, once you
know the right way, you can'tunknow the right way, but the

(52:30):
only way to know the right wayis to experience the wrong way.
I'm paraphrasing to a degree,but once you learn what works
for you, because you can tryketo and keto might not be what
works for you.
Maybe you need to go on paleo.
Maybe you need to go on thecarnivore diet.
Maybe like everybody isdifferent, but once you learn
the right thing that makes ittick and makes it efficient for
you, you're never going to go belike, well, let's just try paleo

(52:52):
again.
See what happens.
It's like, no, if it ain'tbroke, don't fix it.
Focus on that, leverage yourstrengths, but recognize your
weaknesses, but don't.
Feel like you need to bring allyour baselines up.
You're allowed to have areasthat you're not good at.
You're allowed to have a podcastand say, I suck at blog posts.
You're allowed to,, have amechanic business and say, I
really suck at this aspect ofbeing a mechanic, but that's
okay.

(53:13):
There's nothing wrong with that.
That's been a massive growthpart for me because I've always
struggled as a man and as afather and as somebody who's
wanted to provide anything andeverything for the women in my
life that I had to be good ateverything.
I had to be able to do all theshit.
I had to be able to provide allthe stuff, all

Joe (53:27):
the pressure we put on ourselves as men.
It

Alfred (53:29):
really is.
And I feel where that comes fromis a lack of community because
when you feel like you don'thave men to support you.
You feel like not only do youhave to be the man for yourself,
you have to be the man for theimmediate family, you have to be
the curator of a community, youhave to almost build it from
scratch, and it just addsanother layer of stress and
pressure and weight, and itdoesn't need to be the case, and

(53:51):
I've said this in previouspodcasts before, where I truly,
truly believe that we'veovervalued money and undervalued
time, I cannot tell you howimpressionable people have been
with me when they're reliable,when they say if they say
they're going to be there,they're there.
If they give you your word, theystand by it.
Words like integrity, words likerespect, words like stoicism,

(54:15):
those sorts of words, whenpeople exude those traits, it
means so much more to me thantheir income or the size of
their business or how manyemployees they have underneath
them.
It's something that is so lostnowadays because we are in such
an individualized digital world.
And podcasting and you open myeyes to this, where something as
simple as starting a podcast orguesting on a podcast or

(54:37):
starting to listen to podcasts,really, it's such an authentic
way to consume content.
It truly, truly is.
And there's a fricking podcastfor anything.
My hairdresser, she's reallyinto horses.
She listens to a horse podcast.
I think they have like foursubscribers.
It's crazy, but it's so real forher and so authentic to her
identity.
Yeah.

(54:58):
And I don't know any othermedium.
There's no movie that ticksevery box.
There's no music that ticksevery box.
It truly is this sort of contentthat brings it as close to the
real person in that in personcommunity that you truly can
get.
That's my, that's myperspective.
Yeah.

Joe (55:15):
I'll say a couple of things that come to mind is well, I
know a guy that actually owns,he actually sold it, but he has
a whole horse podcast network.
So you joke about the horsepodcast and the reality of it,
but there's literally been awhole network of podcasts that's
sold and everything.
So there is literally anythingout there and you can make a

(55:35):
business out of it if you chooseto, but you don't need to.
And let's see a couple otherthings.
So I want to touch on the timeand there's also the energy
component.
And then maybe remind me if Iforget, but like, there's also
the curation of what we do aspeople, like who host and have
these stages and it could be anykind of stage, but the time and
energy thing, like we all have24 hours.

(55:57):
It's how we decide to use them.
Or invest those hours becausenot every hours is created
equal.
I feel like we can control it ina way because it's our energy is
like the other component when itcomes to time and it's like, how
do you feel?
Or what do you think that,literally the energy that you're
putting in.
So the energy can be literaltyping on keyboards or speaking.

(56:21):
It's like, are you coming acrossin.
like a light energy, one that'sactually empowering, one that
you want to put out there andproject.
On the top of the mountain andshout it like that feeling.
It should be a hell.
Yes.
Kind of feeling.
And like Derek Sivers, he madeCD baby back in the day.
It sold it.
And he's pretty big name.
And he's awesome.

(56:41):
And he's like, if it's not ahell, yes, it's a no.
And that's his saying.
So it's like, you could bespending time in a whole bunch
of places and you might thinkit's the right place, but it's
like, does it feel right?
Is it a hell?
Yes.
Kind of energy, like a lightenergy that comes through.
Cause it's definitely going tocome through to the other
person.
We're all reading, woo or not,whatever, like we're feeling the

(57:01):
vibes, and.
There's different labels for allthis stuff and so I'm starting
now to be very, a lot moredeliberate about like, what's my
energy feel like and look likenot only to myself, but to other
people.
And so it's a time thing.
Yes.
And then also I would add inthat layer of, well, I should,
is that light energy or likedark energy?
Is this like where I'm likepissed off I'm doing this task?

(57:23):
Should I not even be doing this?
Should I delegate it?
Should I kill the task?
Which I automate it somehow,like we have the tools, you
know, things like AI can do alot of this shit for us now, and
that's honestly a lot of likeadmin work that really most
people probably don't somepeople enjoy it.
I won't say everyone, but let'sbe honest, like, it doesn't have
to be all us doing everything.

(57:45):
So I would challenge anyonelistening to, yeah, do the time
audit, see where your time isgoing, but also.
Apply is this like an energy andI think it's Dan Martell.
I had him on my podcast.
I think he said, he's like, do alittle like up arrow.
You know, if it's like goodenergy, bad energy, down arrow,
or maybe neutral.
And that's all right too.
But then at least it helps youkind of frame what you're doing

(58:08):
right now.
And do that for a while, likeaudit that for like seven days,
14 days, whatever.
And then back to, there's aother point that we talked about
or that you're bringing up.
And this comes to like how I seemy podcast.
I think this is how you seeyours as well.
And is like curating thispositive impact, this ripple in
starting with our ourselves, ourtime, our energy, and.

(58:31):
The thing we want to express,but also knowing, and this is
when I had this aha moment, Idon't know, it was the years
ago.
Now I was like, holy crap, I'min a really cool position
because I get to curate peopleon my show who not only I get to
get the input from them and havethis conversation of value.

(58:51):
But I get to share it with thiswhole wider world, and it could
be just four people, could be 4,000 people, whatever, and know
that I am actually the source ofthis, like the one that's
connecting people.
And I now am like asking andconversing with these folks to
then create this ripple thatwill now affect other people's

(59:12):
lives that I'll probably neverknow.
Cause like podcast listeners,you don't know most of them.
You barely hear from most ofthem at all, but that's okay.
It doesn't mean it's not a oneto one personal connection
because guarantee if you raninto these people, like in a
conference, which I have manytimes, they start talking to
you.
Like they're your best friendbecause they know all this shit
about you.
And you're like, Whoa, likefirst time it gets a little

(59:35):
weird.
Cause you're like, wow.
All right.
You paid attention.
What's your name?
It's like, but at the same time,it just, it.
Much of an impact that whenyou're expressing podcasting
being one, but let's be honest,if you're doing this, showing up
on Instagram every day or oftenand sharing something like

(59:55):
truthfully from you, or even,you know, curating someone else
on your channel, you can do thatwith Instagram.
It's like.
People are going to startfeeling the same way there too,
and I think that's what reallypumps me up is knowing that I'm
the source of that curation.
I get to bring the right peopletogether, ask the right things,
have that impactfulconversation, and then know that

(01:00:18):
that's going to be this networkeffect.
This like butterfly effect thatgoes out into the world.
aNd truly, improve people'slives, however I choose.

Alfred (01:00:28):
I don't think it's a new concept.
I think this is very old school,maybe early 1900s when men were
really, there was no technology.
It was the community you had andthat was it, there was no way to
be digital.
But now it's something thatpeople, it's hard to compute
because the new generationdoesn't know what that looks
like.
So I feel when you're able tocurate that and you get to that
personal one on one level andsomebody who may not have met

(01:00:48):
you in person, but they feelthat connection and you can
relate to them.
And you may never hear howpositively you impacted a
business, but just the idea toknow that there's a chance that
what you did had an impact.
I think that is a massivemotivator to keep going.
That's a massive motivator thathits home for a lot of people.
It's fantastic.
We get the feedback.
Don't get me wrong.
When I released my first coupleepisodes and we were like, dude,
that was fire.

(01:01:09):
That was amazing.
It fired me up.
I was super stoked about it.
Even before I recorded my firstpodcast to build the studio out
and learn all this stuff and,and learn how this whole
community is so tight knit andso closely kind of they're there
for each other.
They truly are.
It truly feels like a community.
I feel like that's just such acool, cool concept.
You share that one inspirationalquote that you put into

(01:01:30):
practice.
That's the key.
That's the second side of thatcoin is you can't just talk the
talk.
You got to walk the walk.
You can't stand still.
You got to move forward.
So I love that, man, that wholemessaging and that whole concept
and bringing it back topodcasting, which is obviously
your bread and butter.
And it's certainly my cherry ona cupcake right now.
I'm just starting off with it.
It's so cool, man.
I love it.

(01:01:53):
Yeah.
Well, I've been a consumer for along time, so I've understood
that whole concept and, theetiquette behind it.
I never knew the work that wentinto it.
And I know some people havesystems that are better than
others, but.
If you want to be the do it,I'll be at all.
It takes some effort, but it'ssuper gratifying and rewarding
to build something of your ownto start from scratch, put in
the work.
It's super cool,

Joe (01:02:12):
man.
Well, dude, and I thinkexpressing and just getting it
started is the hardest thing foranybody.
It's the whole momentum, youknow, momentum's real.
And that's why I gotta give bigprops to you for, I mean, you
literally built a studio, so youjust committed.
And I think that was before youeven recorded that first
episode, right?
Like.
All the equipment you did itright.

(01:02:33):
It's not necessary, but at thesame time, that's how you wanted
to approach it.
And that just showed your levelof commitment.
And I knew you had that in youalready, but like, just to talk
and talking to those listening,it's like, we all have phones.
We all have pretty good camerasand microphones on these things
these days.
So.
Use them and figure out how toexpress yourself and just don't

(01:02:57):
hold back.
Like, I think that's the thing Iwould tell myself because I,
yes, I have a packed scheduleand all of these things and I'm
always watching things, but atthe same time, in the back of my
mind, I'm like, how do I expressa little bit more?
Like, how do I get out thereand.
And put more out there.
Like I would love to do moreInstagram stories and show up on
the social medias.

(01:03:17):
And I just don't do it often, tobe honest.
I think I've contained myself ina lot of ways.
So that's why I'm like, allright, you know what the
podcast, I got to leverage theshit out of what I record here
and make sure I'm getting video,audio, social, and then having
a.
Team to do it for me.
But if I were starting, I wouldliterally just get my phone out
and start chatting to Instagramor wherever people are or throw

(01:03:41):
on the microphone and just getsome, like I don't know, just
something that's not going to beoverwhelming to get started just
enough to get it out there andexpress and literally like
magical things happen when youjust show up and just start
talking and knowing that you'remaybe talking to a person, like
having someone in mind that'sgoing to help kind of refine

(01:04:03):
your message, but to genuinelyexpress yourself and to know
that you're doing it for notonly yourself, but for others,
just good shit happens.
And.
Yeah.
Staying consistent is the keybecause it's easy to drop off.
So it's like, get started, butfigure out how to sustain that.
And make it a habit is I thinkthat's where it gets really fun

(01:04:24):
when you start to ingrain thatin your being and know like this
expression is actually helpingyou grow internally.
And then at the same time youget to help others.
So it's like, well, shit, that'sa win win, you know,
exponentially win win.
You think about it.

Alfred (01:04:38):
That's awesome.
We're going to end it there.
I appreciate your time, dude.
You're an absolute beauty.
You're a huge inspiration forme, both personally and
professionally.
And I can't wait to just keepdoing this inner circle thing.
I feel like, I might be ending apodcast episode, but I think
we're going to be chatting herein like five, six hours with our
WhatsApps and stuff.
It just works, man.
It's so good.
But dude, I truly appreciate it.

(01:05:00):
I don't know if you want toleave anybody who's listening
with with a grain or a plug orwhatever you feel like just to
end it on a Joe note.

Joe (01:05:07):
Yeah.
I mean, this was me real talk,just raw and Alfred, I got to
give you props, man, for givingme the stage.
Let me share it with you.
And I'm so stoked to see youdoing this.
Cause I know how much.
I mean, you're so damn eloquenttoo.
I listen to you on Instagramwhen you're posting these things
and either writing or speakingit out.
I'm like, holy shit.

(01:05:27):
This guy's fucking brilliant.
And literally, like, I thinkthat and I smile and I'm like,
hell yeah.
And so I'm happy that you'reputting it out there because
literally, like, everyone hasthe ability to do it.
And yeah, if it's written form,go do it.
Speaking form, do it.
Camera form, great.
Go dance around and be crazy.
But it's like, you're going toinspire someone to do some cool
shit, so.
I guess I'll leave it at thatbecause I love doing that.

(01:05:50):
I love bringing people togetherand I feel like that's what we
need right now.
You mentioned that a lot of usare feeling very isolated,
divided.
I mean, we see it in every walkof life.
I don't need a name at all now.
So we're having wars, multiple,I mean, it's just like, it's
chaos in the world, but at thesame time, it doesn't have to be
internally.
So it's like, find your ground.

(01:06:10):
That's why I'm standing on aShakti pokey mat this whole
time.
My feet have been numb, but Ididn't notice feel great.
But the point is like, do yourpart to like ground yourself and
then give, figure out how togive, because guarantee you're
going to change some lives andyou're going to bring people
together.
You might not ever meet them.
But I bet it's you're just stickwith it and, and cool stuff will

(01:06:33):
happen.
And and let me know, go hit meup on a, well, Hey, I'll just
get my email address.
So Joe at hustle and flow chart.
com email me if you have anyquestions, got some thoughts or
crazy ideas.
I'm always, I'm open.
You can find me on social Joefeared F I E R is the last name
and.
Go listen to Hustle andFlowchart, you can find it

(01:06:54):
pretty much anywhere.
So hustleandflowchart.
com is the website.
You can kind of peek at all thestuff there.
That's what I got, Alfred, man.
I appreciate you so much.

Alfred (01:07:03):
Yeah, you as well, man.
It's been awesome.
And yeah, for anybody that has abusiness, wants to start a
business, is struggling withbusiness, anything like that.
I can promise there's at leastone of the 500 plus episodes
you've got.
That'll bring some value.
I don't want to give people toomuch homework to scroll through
that whole library, but there's,there's some interesting stuff
in there, man.
So I think your messaging andstuff is, it's obviously working

(01:07:25):
cause it's obviously yourbusiness, but at the same time,
it's very relatable.
So that's definitely my favoritepart of you amongst many, many
others, but no, thanks so muchfor your time today, dude.

Joe (01:07:35):
I'll leave one more thing, actually.
You just reminded me.
Cause I like, you know what?
A quick way to, instead ofsearching the libraries, I made
a, it's totally free, but it'sthis bot.
It's like a clone of theepisodes and you could just ask
it questions.
So it actually pulls informationfrom episodes.
It's like a newer AI technology.
Go check it out.
It's hustle and a flowchart.

(01:07:55):
com slash bot B O T.
And literally you can just askit anything.
So instead of searching thelibraries, just go ask that
thing and it'll probably pullout what you need.
And it's like actionable.
It actually remembers whatyou're talking about and like
scenarios.
So give it a test.
I'm curious.
And let me know what you thoughtabout it.
Just

Alfred (01:08:13):
another incredible thing.
I didn't even know about that.
And you're just, you're

Joe (01:08:17):
just

Alfred (01:08:19):
incredible, incredible.
People are going to startemailing you how to do that,
man.
Cause honestly, that soundsincredible.
So thank you again, man.
I hope you have a great day.
Thanks so much for your time.
And thanks anybody for listeningto the unmodern podcast.
We'll catch you in the next one.
Well, that's it for thisepisode.
Thank you so much for listeningto the unmodern podcast.
If you like what you heard andwant to hear more, don't forget

(01:08:41):
to hit that subscribe buttonalso like, and follow me on
Instagram and Facebook atunmodern podcast.
Do you have suggestions forfuture guests, or if you're
interested in being a guestyourself, please visit unmodern
podcast.
com.
Thank you again, and we'll seeyou in the next episode.

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