[EP08] "How To Improve Your Finances and Fitness & Mental Toughness"

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alfred (00:03):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Unmodern Podcast,
the podcast where we haveunscripted, unapologetic, and
uncomfortable conversations thataffects everyday people.
If you've ever had an outlook,thought, or an opinion that
modern day society told you tobe silent on That you would get
in trouble for, or if you'veever heard the words, probably
shouldn't say that, then this isthe podcast for you.

(00:26):
My name is Alfred, a husband,father, and an adventure seeking
kind of guy, who over the yearshas learned to have a positive
outlook on life, regardless ofwhat society throws at me.
So if you're ready to listen,let's go.

(01:02):
Jeric, thanks for coming on thepodcast, man.
How you doing?
Thanks for having me.
Oh, I love it, dude.
I love how you're so nervous.
And we just had this discussionwhere you'd rather talk in a
room of a hundred people thantalking to this

Jarek (01:12):
microphone.
I'm way more comfortable infront of people than a
microphone.
Okay.

Alfred (01:18):
So you don't speak, you don't, you don't speak into a
microphone at these theseevents.

Jarek (01:22):
Not really.
I mean, you're, you're mic'd up,but you're, I don't know.
It's just, you're talking to.
Audience you see their feedbackand you get like you can feed
off their energy.
And so it's it's a lot differentI mean, obviously got great
energy, but it's just you and Iare Locking eyes and speaking
into a microphone.

Alfred (01:40):
That's awesome.
I think that speaks to what youdo for a living and who you are
as a person.
You're very people oriented.
You know, I'll bring up somestuff here.
But real quick, if you want tointroduce yourself to anybody
who's listening, if you want totalk about where you're from,
what you do, what your interestsare yeah, open mic, man,
whatever you want to let peoplein on.
Okay.

Jarek (01:57):
Well, yeah, I was born and raised in cameras, Alberta,
and Growing up, my parentsalways kind of ingrained in me,
go to school, get a goodeducation and, you know, as I'm
going through life and growingup and wondering what I want to
do, after high school I wasn'treally sure I didn't have the
best marks growing up, so thatkind of prohibited some
opportunities, but I love sportsand my mom was a teacher, my dad

(02:20):
was a chef and, My dad alwayssaid, never become a chef wasn't
the best lifestyle that hewanted to push on us and, like I
said, I love sports.
So I thought I'd follow my mom'sfootsteps, become a teacher, but
throw dodge balls at kids forthe rest of my life.
So I applied at Augustana downin Camrose with a bachelor's in
physical education and I gotaccepted and went down this

(02:41):
path, but it wasn't I wasn'toverly thrilled about it.
I didn't really like school andhere I am going to school to,
you know go to school for therest of my life essentially.
And so, during school, I went toNew York for 4 summers.
And worked at a kid's camp whileI was going to school, I was
working at Eastside Mario'sserving.

(03:03):
So, that's kind of like my workexperience and in my last
semester, an old high schoolfriend had approached me and I
hadn't seen him in about fouryears and he's like, I'm in the
financial industry now and yougot to come check it out.
And so I did that and, I kind offell in love with what I saw,
and I wasn't sure what it reallywould look like or what it all
entailed.
But, like I said, it wasn'tcrazy about becoming a gym

(03:24):
teacher.
So I started kind of like a twincareer part time basis and fell
in love with what we do.
That was back in 2008 andpeople.
They're struggling with moneyand finance and more than ever
today they're struggling.
So it just hasn't got better andit's quite the rewarding and
fulfilling career when you canteach someone about money and

(03:45):
something that is such a lifeskill that We should all learn
and we just never been taughtfor the most part, or at least
taught properly.
So I jumped in I finished mydegree and then went full time
after that, got my own agencywithin about three years of
that.
And it's been good, within thistime of the last 15 ish years, I
met my wife in the business.

(04:05):
We had a couple of kids.
We got divorced right beforeCOVID actually hit in September,
2019, we split and It was crazybecause, you know, obviously
COVID, March of whatever, 2020,and you're in lockdown mode.
And so we lived together from,September of 2019 till August of
2020, where you couldn't like goanywhere.

(04:28):
And you're like locked up withyour ex.
So that was interesting.
It could have been worse.
That's for sure.
And so we split and share myboys 50 50 week on week off.
I'm grateful for the positionI'm in that, I can have that
time with them.
I don't, put them in daycare oranything like that.
I just, I'm with them.
When they're with me and, youknow, I work when I, when
they're not with me and sothat's been good.

(04:49):
Other than that I'm still intosports and athletics and fitness
and, run a charity hockey game.
I started that about 12 yearsago and we play Edmonton versus
Calgary offices.
We get our butts kicked almostevery single year records two
and eight, but we raise a lot ofmoney.
We raise so since this.
Fourth year of doing it, webasically raised money for the

(05:11):
Stollery.
We did some other charities inbetween a little bit, but it's
been the Stollery Children'sHospital here in Edmonton and
we've raised over 500, 000 forthem in the last six years or
so.
That's incredible.
So, yeah.
So that, that keeps me busy.
I'm into hockey still.
I just got off the ice, like Itold you but hot yoga, weights,
a bit of cardio, just stayingactive, paddleboarding I like it

(05:33):
all.
So that's I guess in a nutshell.

Alfred (05:37):
Yeah, that's a lot of stuff.
We're going to unpack all thatindividually.
I kind of have a list here causeyeah, you got a lot of stuff
that I really want to touch on.
I guess the first thing is kindof how we first met.
I think we first met about nineyears ago.
I still remember it.
It was at a Starbucks inTerwilliger.
We kind of sat down for thefirst time and met and I'm not
going to lie.
Like, and like most industriesthat aren't really taught in

(05:57):
school or that you're not reallygiven a lot of stuff.
I thought it was snake oil forsure.
And the reason being is I feellike there's a recruitment
component to finance.
You see this a lot in Primerica.
You see this a lot in, all ofthese quote unquote pyramid
schemes.
And I'm not even going to unpackthat today, but there's this
negative connotation, I think,to the average person that
doesn't understand what that is,building a team rather than

(06:17):
recruiting for financial gain.
And, and almost like a gym modelwhere you're expecting people to
fail, but they have a buy inprice and, and it's all about
numbers and there may be an evilbackdoor component to that, but
I don't think that's the frontend aspect of it, like you said.
That was my first impression.
And so I was, there was a ton ofresistance for me and the
resistance came from me notunderstanding.
So what was my response to that?

(06:39):
I kept doing the same old shit.
And four years later, I'm like,I made all this money and I have
nothing to fucking show for it.
My education around finances wasdumb because I associated
negatively to the non big fivebank aspects of it.
The people that can actuallygive you a product tailor made
to you because they assess yourindividual needs, not only the
product you have with thatindividual bank or individual

(06:59):
institution.
So that for me, and that mightbe other people's resistance
too, but I don't know if youwant to unpack that your
experience first getting intofinance and then what you kind
of learned down the road and howyou bring value to whoever you
interact with, whether that'syour team or the customer
component itself.

Jarek (07:16):
Oh, that's a hell of a lot to unpack there.
So I guess like, I'll start offby saying when my friend
approached me I wasn't skepticalat all.
I was 20 years old and he's justlike, you got to come check this
out.
He was excited and which in turnmade me excited.
And people were like, oh, wellthat's a pyramid scheme.
I don't know what a pyramidscheme is.
Like I never heard of thatbefore.

(07:36):
Right.
And so.
You know I was kind of naive andI think maybe that helped me
just kind of get started so whenI initially started in business,
yeah, I got a whole bunch offlack from my buddies and family
members and stuff too.
And I just knew something thatthey didn't, right.
And so I get it.
I mean, it's.
You know, there's a lot ofthings out there today, right?

(07:57):
And get rich quick and all thiskind of stuff.
And at the end of the day, it ishard work.
Money in finance, financialplanning, whatever you call it.
It's very simple.
A lot of people think it'scomplicated, but the reason they
do is because we've never beentaught, we've never been taught
how what a tax restraintsaccount is, what an RSP is, what
life insurance is, how it works.
And so a lot of people thinkthat's just, it's scary.

(08:20):
You got to go to school and yougot to like, it's years of
education, but like, it's reallysimple to take to teach someone
some basic concepts around moneyand finance and, something
called the rule of 72 ofcompound interest.
And so we're not taught thisstuff.
And, when I started, I was just,like I said, I think I was
naive.
I was coachable.
I just kind of did what mytrainer, my mentor had told me.

(08:43):
And the hardest part of what wedo in our industry is mental
toughness, it's gettingrejected.
It's happening in the nose.
And that's why a lot of peoplecan't do it.
It was because they're afraid ofwhat people think or they're
addicted to approval.
And so yeah, like it's Oh man,there's so much impact here.
So I guess For me I learned alot in the early stages the

(09:03):
wrong way, or the hard way, Ishould say meaning that I
probably didn't master my craftin certain areas and I learned
from experience, which isobviously a great teacher, but,
maybe I could have had betterresults if I would have
practiced or honed my skills abit more.
But, that's just Life, you failand you learn and grow.
And so, yeah I don't know, Ithink I might've missed 30

(09:24):
questions.
You had

Alfred (09:25):
asked for me there, but yeah, not a lot of questions.
Just yeah, I want to kind ofgive you the table.
Cause this is definitely a topicfor me that as I get older, I
just turned 35 and call it amiddle age crisis.
And perhaps rather than buying aCamaro, I decided to bring you
on here to maybe give me somefucking insight on how to get
ahead in life a little bit.
Cause truly I think you said,you know, it's something that's
not taught.
And I think Alberta, when JasonKenny was in office, they tried

(09:48):
to change the either middleschool or high school curriculum
to include financial training.
And there was a lot of, therewas a lot of abrasion around it.
I think the abrasion was more.
Around some of the other stuffthey tried to include in there,
like maybe minority training andkind of getting back to basics.
I think I actually think thatwas a term used by conservative
and MLA in Alberta.
And I find that strange.

(10:08):
I find that strange why therewouldn't be a drive to want.
To educate kids and even familymembers on this sort of thing,
because I truly think we havelost our basics.
We have lost our ability to seesomething like a TFSA or an RSP
or spousal RSPs, which is nevertalked about as an add on.
Whereas if you replace somethingwith it, that's when you're

(10:29):
going to get further aheadbecause you're almost winning on
both ends of the spectrum.
So if you create a really tightbudget and now with your excess,
you don't use that as your,well, I've earned it because I
created a budget.
So now I'm going to go blow iton some dumb shit.
Well, if you actually use thatmoney strategically or use that
excess strategically, you'rewinning double.
And I think that's what theproblem is, is people want,

(10:49):
don't want to change their,their status quo.
They want to add on those.
So Jeric's trying to sell me ona product saying, do you have
300 and 350 bucks a month to goto TFSA?
And you're like, okay, well, howdo I add 350 to my life?
Rather than let's get 350 moreefficient.
Meaning you're cleaning up yourexcess, but then you're using
that to the best of yourability.
I don't know if you want tounpack that a little bit.

(11:10):
That's my perception of it.

Jarek (11:11):
Here's the problem today more than ever.
Today, it's keeping up with thejoneses people want the fastest,
the brightest, the shiniest, thebiggest, and it's just because
it's all around us.
Social media, it's what, we'refed as to what is cool or what
is good or whatever it may be.
And, and if you think of likehow accessible things and

(11:31):
products are today, as opposedto like when we were growing up.
Right.
If you wanted to go getsomething or need something like
swagger gripping cameras.
So we had a lot of the amenitiesand stores and stuff.
But for example, I rememberschool shopping.
There wasn't a lot of goodclothing stores and cameras.
So we'd have to come up toEdmonton, whatever.
So you'd have to find time anddrive up to Edmonton and all

(11:52):
this kind of stuff.
But now you can just order itonline.
It's right to your door.
Or it's as simple as somethingon Amazon, right?
There's a lot of shit we buy onAmazon.
That we don't need, but it'sbecause it's right there and we
can just click and it's at ourdoor the next day, or maybe even
later that day.
So it's just the ease ofaccessibility to products that,

(12:12):
which I think is, has started tokill people and.
We no longer need cash.
We can tap on our watch, we cantap with our credit card.
And it's just so easy to dothat.
And I think that's one of thebiggest reasons why people are
struggling today is because ofwhat they see on social media,
what they think is cool, whatthey think they need.
In the nineties when you grewup.

(12:33):
How many people are the samelike t shirt and pants and
whatever, because, you know,there was, there's so many
clothing stores, you go to thebay, the Zellers, whatever
Sears, but now it's like,there's so much clothing in the
world.
It's incredible.
And like so many optionsobviously we won't get into this
topic, but kids bullying thesedays.
I mean, I was bullied as a kidand just picked on for clothes

(12:54):
and stuff.
So like, there's so much likethat.
Society needs help with, butwhen it comes to money and
finance, I think that's one ofthe biggest things where people
are trying to keep up with theJoneses.
You know, I live on a, on astreet here in Edmonton that
gets done up like crazy forHalloween and Christmas.
And like people spent thousandsof dollars on decorations and
it's cool.
Like it's festive and, and it'sfun, but one person gets those

(13:15):
gemstone lights, the next personin the, in their, you know,
soffit or whatever it is.
And the next thing, you know,you see all these lights and
houses because their neighborgot it.
Right.
And so it's it's crazy becausein 15 years of me doing this
business and sitting down withpeople, their finances have not
got better.
People are struggling more thanever and they don't make enough.

(13:38):
They don't save enough andthey've lost time.
That's the biggest thing, youknow, it's for someone to eat.
To give, so to give an example,if people are like, Oh yeah, I'm
on track for retirement, right?
Well, here's a good measuringstick.
Assuming you want to eat inretirement, you want to eat
three meals a day, 365 days ayear for 20 years.
So let's just say you want toretire at the age of 65 and

(13:58):
you're going to live till the85.
And if you spend 5 a meal,right, that can't even buy a
friggin happy meal these days.
Yeah.
But 5 a meal for a couple,that's 219, 000.
Do you know how many people Isit down with that are 65 that
have 219, 000 in their savings?
Not many, right?
So, it's gonna be pretty scarywhat, the landscape looks like

(14:21):
for baby boomers over the next10, 20, 30 years they're going
to be working until the day theydie, right?
And the younger generationcoming up, a lot of them they're
not taught, they're not thinkingabout it.
There's a huge need forfinancial education today.
And yeah, just teaching peoplehow money works and getting time
on their side.

Alfred (14:39):
To challenge that a little bit from my perspective,
not being in the financialindustry, I think this can
relate to everything that reallyyou've excelled at.
You talked about mentaltoughness.
We're going to, touch on yourpassion for fitness and your
success in fitness and whatyou've done to stay fit as a man
and as a dad.
Everybody has social media, butpeople excel better than others.
Everybody has accessibilityissues.
You weren't taught aboutfinance.

(15:00):
My daughter isn't taught aboutfinance.
Are we able to drill it downpast that past the societal
headlines of, do you think itjust has to get down to basic
discipline?
Do you think it has to get downto us no longer using the word
no in society?
Basically, what in your mind,can you dumb it down for almost
the finance for dummies typekind of.
Statement and basically say,like, this is really what's

(15:21):
lacking.
Is it just self discipline?
Is it mental toughness?
Is it kind of a little bit ofboth of those things?
Because everything youmentioned, I think everybody has
access to these days.
My niece and nephew have accessto social media.
And while I think we're in theage of information and
information is great, I thinkthe way we digest it is a
problem.
I think you're not going tolearn something to its nth
degree in 15 second reels onInstagram.
That's for damn sure.

(15:42):
Right.
And that goes to fitness, right?
You can't buy a six minute abpackage and expect to get six
minute abs.
It doesn't fucking work.
And I think that's really,that's my perspective.
But I don't know from yourfinancial perspective, what is
something when you deal with,when you meet two clients in one
day?
One has had a smaller income,but they have a larger savings
bank.
They're more content with theirlife.

(16:03):
They kind of, they're on track.
They follow the recipe or theblueprint.
And this other rig worker maybedivorcee, and I know divorce is
a big one these days, thatreally kind of can throw a
wrench into people's plans.
But I heard a really cool quoteon a podcast that compared
OnlyFans or porn models to NFLplayers.
And he talked about how when youearn money, Using your body and

(16:25):
not your mind, you're not taughtthe disciplines mentally and how
to do it.
That's why NFL stars gobankrupt.
That's why porn stars gobankrupt.
That's why Hollywood stars gobankrupt.
When you've used it with yourbody and superficial skills, and
I'm not calling athleticismsuperficial, but just Not using
this, using this, and maybeusing a little bit of heart and

(16:45):
courage and bravery and whateveryou want to call it.
That seems to be the downside toa lot of people.
I mean, fuck, athletes havefinancial managers, they have
all this stuff, and they stillfind a way to fuck it up.
Yet, you have this grain workerthat's worked in the same hamlet
in Alberta for, you know, 50years, and he retires with two
and a half million bucks.
So, what distinguishes thosetwo?
Individuals, right?

(17:06):
What is it?
Yeah,

Jarek (17:06):
that's interesting.
I think the biggest one ismindset because you're right.
We do have all the tools accessto us.
I mean, you open up your phoneor computer.
You type this website calledGoogle and you'll find anything
right?
So it's not that people have alack of resources.
It's a lack of intention and andmindset in terms of wanting to
get it done.
You know, saving money isn'tsexy.

(17:29):
It's not you put 50 bucks away100 bucks a month away and that
grows a little bit.
It's crazy because people plan,they take more time planning a
seven day vacation than theywill their 20, 30 year vacation
called retirement because it'sinstant gratification.
That's the world we live in.
It's a microwave society.
So I think it all comes down tomindset.
Someone knowing why they'reputting away a hundred bucks a

(17:50):
month.
They know what that goal lookslike.
They know what that's going togrow to when they're 65, you
know, in 20, 30, 40 years.
And what I find is that there'skind of a sweet spot.
Probably between five and 15,20, 000 that people get to where
they kind of see it grow alittle bit.
And they're like, I'm at it.
I got 15, 000.

(18:11):
It's not a lot, but it couldsure pay off this, or it could
sure buy me this or it should.
So they don't stick with it.
Right.
So it's like, I like the analogyof soap, you know, money's like
soap.
Your investments are like soap.
The more you touch it, the lessyou have.
Oh shit.
I like that.
Right.
Right.
So it's.
It's it's something that peoplejust have to stay disciplined in
and knowing why they're doingit.

(18:32):
That's the biggest thing, right?
And that goes for all areas inlife, but it's like, here's my
goal.
Here's my habits that I'm doingto get there.
And so that's what I wouldprobably say with, with that.
I don't know if that would giveyou an answer,

Alfred (18:46):
but yeah, I think so.
Delayed gratification, I thinkis a measure of success in
almost anything you do, right?
Fitness relationships,everything, right?
Why am I.
Having this dinner night with mywife when I really don't want
to, or we just had a fight orsomething.
Well, you're hardening thatrelationship and making it
withstand the test of time.
Same thing with fitness.
Why the fuck am I going intothis 40 degree room and doing

(19:06):
these downward dog poses and,and wanting to pass the fuck
out?
And then you come out and you'relike, where's my six pack?
It's not there.
It's like, but if you do itenough and you stick with it and
you're consistent, eventually,and it's different for
everybody, genetics and diet andall that stuff.
But I think, yeah, it's delayedgratification.
That's something I've beentrying to apply in my life.
Cause it's not easy.
Like you said, every time I openup Instagram, somebody bought a

(19:27):
new fucking truck, somebody's inthis new sunny destination.
Somebody just bought a newfucking house.
It's hard because there is thatmeasuring stick of.
What is your social image?
And there is some fakeness and Iconsider myself a traditionalist
at heart, but I fall victim tothat social media shit all the
time.
I'm always wanting to put, fancypictures and celebrate my wins.
And hopefully people are likingit.
And when I get thatnotification, it's that dopamine

(19:49):
kick of bang.
Ooh, somebody is, acknowledgingwhat I did.
That's the hard part I think formost people is to get away from
that.
Well,

Jarek (19:56):
it also comes down to associations.
Like if you think about.
Your friend circle like howoften do you talk about money
and finance if your friends aretalking about Saving for
retirement and what theretirement is going to look like
There's a better chance of youdoing that, but if your friends
are talking about Vacations allthe time and spend and spend and
spend and buy buy buy thenthat's probably what you're
gonna do, right?

(20:17):
So that's a huge one, right?
I love you know, if you hangaround five clowns you're
eventually gonna join thecircus.

Alfred (20:23):
So You're dropping these analogies and it's just, it's
preaching to me, man.
I'm loving this.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I'm so stoked.
You said that.
Cause I actually wrote downhere, some highlights of talking
points, and I had one on herewhere I actually wrote down
people or products of theirenvironment.
And I think you just touched onit.
Cause there's an old phrase by.
So some really rich guy, he'skind of a polarizing figure, but
he basically said, show me yourfive closest friends and I'll

(20:43):
show you your future.
I don't know if he's theoriginator of that statement,
but we'll kind of use this tomaybe segue away from finance.
But how it's applicable is whatwould be some quick ways that
you would suggest to people onhow to change your environment
really quickly?
Because I think we are somewhatin a loner.
Style environment structure.
These days, everything isindividualized.
We've lost our sense ofcommunity and, you know, we can

(21:04):
blame everything on COVID andthis is definitely a
repercussion of it, but peopleare really expected to make
things work within a marriage,within your own self, within
your own, relationship or withyour own kids.
And, we're not these socialbeings that we used to be,
right?
We don't have these communityrelations anymore.
I remember, you talked aboutgrowing up in Camrose.
I grew up in a hamlet in NovaScotia.
It's not even a fucking town.

(21:25):
It's a hamlet.
And if somebody's roof needed tobe repaired, there was 20 people
that showed up with tools.
Not because they called 20people because these people knew
they had their finger on thepulse of what the community
needed as a whole and where theweak links were because people
knew in my community, my societywere only as strong as our
weakest link.
If somebody is struggling, howcan we sit there and be proud
of, the community we call homeor, the community we've built,

(21:48):
but we can't.
So they step up to the plate andit's that thankless service.
It's I'm not doing this for me.
It's that delayed gratificationof when this person.
Reaches a new level.
They're going to bring all of uswith it and so on and so forth.
And you're kind of justfollowing this kind of snakes
and ladders type all the way upto the top and everyone And
you're obviously going to havepeople that lag, but you're
going to reach that.

(22:09):
So we definitely don't have thatin comparison.
Now, is it possible to have thatmetropolises?
I don't think so, but what's aquick way that you would maybe
suggest to people where ifpeople are wanting to change.
With their environment or theyhave some toxic friends aside
from the cut them off at theknees.
Cause I'm not sure if that's theappropriate way to do it,
especially with family.

(22:29):
But what are some ways that youwould suggest with either
finance or fitness or anyway,just because people are products
of their environment, what's aquick way that they can maybe
switch that up.

Jarek (22:37):
That's a really good question.
So I'll give you an example ofwhen I started in business.
I had some really good friendsthat I went to high school with
college with that type of thingand they weren't really
supportive with what I wasdoing.
And it's kind of like barrels ofmonkeys, these monkeys try to
Get out of the barrel andthey're other ones are trying to
pull them back into the barreltype of thing because you're
either trying to do somethinggreat with your life and they're

(22:59):
not so it's a reflection on themand or you're just out of their
comfort zone so they want tobring you back into their
comfort zone like why aren't youcoming out party with us on
Friday night why aren't you withus Saturday night so what
happened was that I slowly juststopped communicating with these
guys over a period of time Iwouldn't reach out you know I'd
see them here and there but Islowly just got into you.

(23:20):
A circle or surrounded myselfwith people that I wanted to be
like, I want to emulate thatwere better than me and that
could be, from a businessperspective, from a fitness
standpoint, financial, I knewwhat I wanted and I knew that if
I hung around some people, I'deventually figured out, it's
just like I'm a big hockey fan.

(23:40):
So If you're a little kid andyou go to the rink and you're
just hanging around, I rememberback in the maximal clean arena
and cameras, all these puckswould go over the glass and I
don't think there was an endingat the time.
So you'd go and pick up allthese pucks and you're just like
hanging out and you're playingmini sticks and all this kind of
stuff and smelling the equipmentand smelling the deep fire.

(24:00):
And so you're just, you'rehanging around the environment
and you hear conversations, youwatch the plays and you just
pick up on the game.
So that is a lot better thansomeone just.
Sitting at home wishing thatthey were a hockey player,
wishing that they were, on theice and so you just have to find
a, whether it be a circle offriends or people or an
environment and just putyourself in there, just hang

(24:22):
out, right?
And just be a bug on the wall,if you will, and absorb it.
So that's probably like, youjust have to do it.
That's, that's the only thing Iwould say is like, just go and
do it.
Don't wait for.
Some sort of outsidecircumstance to do it for you
just take action.

Alfred (24:39):
So I think it's very applicable in most things in
people's life, but especiallynowadays People are scared to go
to the gym because they'll getmade fun of they have this this
irrational fear actually ofsomething that hasn't happened
yet They're just kind of makingup this story in their head of
why they might fail or why theymight and even if you do Get
made fun of who the fuck cares.

Jarek (24:57):
Well, you know If you go to a gym it's an intimidating
place.
For men, for women, foreveryone.
But the heaviest weight at thegym is the front door.
As soon as you get your butt inthe door, you're bound to do
something.
It's very rare that you're gonnago on the treadmill and stand on
the sides and just let thatthing run.
You're probably gonna at leastwalk on the treadmill.
So, you just gotta get to thegym.

(25:17):
There's that big guy onInstagram who just says, get the
fuck to the gym, right?
I don't know if you see thatguy, but You just got to get
yourself there, get in theenvironment and whether people
judge or not, it doesn't matter.
Right.
Everyone starts somewhere.
What I think people find is thatmean, obviously, depending on
the gym that you go to and thetype of people there, but.
It's a community that, you know,I think if you're struggling and

(25:40):
you ask for some help orwhatever it may be, more times
than not, people will help you.
Right.
There's some, there's, I mean,when I go, it's a pretty good
crowd.
I know if you go to like a fiveo'clock, you get some different
types of people.
I try not to like, walk aroundwith that, like, tough guy.
Look, I mean, I don't thinkthat's me, but you know, there's
some people that do right.
And it just, I just laugh at itbecause a lot of it's just an

(26:01):
insecurity on their part andthey're just trying to like
mask.
So I kind of laugh and I juststarted to put on a smile and
say hi to people and create thatenvironment that like people
just, I want to be a guy in thegym that people could approach,
ask questions, help out,whatever, right.
And I think I've done a verygood job at it.
The gym I go to.

Alfred (26:19):
Yeah.
I think that goes to what I saidearlier about winning on both
sides is I think people need tostop looking at anything they
do, like saving money as well.
I'm saving money.
Well, no, it's going to resultin multiple things.
And the same thing with the gym,if you go to the gym just to
lift weight or just to run on atreadmill and get out and don't
utilize the social component ofit, you're not going to build
that community that you'reyearning for.

(26:40):
You're not going to find thosefive people that you might be
able to create relationshipswith.
You're not going to find thatJarek guy over in the corner,
he's lifting heavier than me.
So he's motivating me kind ofunbeknownst, but then I go over
and talk to him and I have thesefinancial goals and he's like,
Oh, he's in the financeindustry.
Holy shit.
And so you can win on bothsides.
It's the gym isn't just a gym.
It's a place where peoplecongregate with a common, hobby
or a goal or, you know, whateverit may be.

(27:03):
I think that's no different thansports, the gym activities, even
women with book club and evenlike this, just something that
brings people together face toface.
And I think that's the criticalcomponent is bringing people
face to face.
You talked about here where thisis making you more nervous than
talking to a hundred people thatgoes to speak to you as a person
and exactly what we'rediscussing is, and I agree, I

(27:23):
would rather do things inperson.
I like having people here in thestudio rather than on zoom.
You feel a connection, you feedoff their energy, you laugh when
they laugh, you maybe cry whenthey cry, it's different, right?
It's way different.
You can't, turn the monitor offand be like, man, that guy's got
a lot of shit going on, fuck,like, you're kind of entrapped
in there, right?
But you feel it.
It's a lasting impression.
So I think that's reallyimportant.

(27:44):
So going back to the fitnessthing, because you do this
fitness thing really, reallywell.
You're a huge proponent of it.
It sounds like it was introducedto you at a young age.
It was something that was neverintroduced to me and I've been
struggling with it massively.
So we have this really cool pushup challenge going on.
I don't know if you ever heardof it.
It's called the Sally Up, SallyDown.
David Goggins was the, kind ofthe first time I had seen it.

(28:04):
So I don't know if you everheard that song, Bring Sally Up,
Bring Sally Down.
So basically you follow thatsong with pushups and when you
go Sally Down, your arms are at90 degree, but they're about, I
think they're about three orfive second holds.
And then I think four or fivetimes in the song, there's like
a 15 second hold, but it's 30pushups.
The song is 30 push ups.
It's fucking hard.

(28:25):
It's fucking brutal, dude.
And we got like 119 guys in thisFacebook group that are all
going like lives and sendingvideos and doing all this cool
shit.
And I just have this fuckingabrasion to it, man.
I'm just like, why the fuck am Igoing to set up a phone, do
these push ups, do all thisstuff?
And I think it goes back to mydelayed gratification thing of
like, I'm wanting to do it andkeep up with the Joneses because
my number's a lot lower.

(28:45):
Like, we got one guy doing itwith a weighted vest.
This guy's a beast, like he'sjust a monster, but he doesn't
look the part.
He's not like a fucking JoeySwole or some like Brian Shaw, a
massive jack guy, just kind oflooks like you or like similar
build, like he's not a, but he'sjust a strong guy cause he just
sticks with it, sticks with it,sticks with it.
It's pretty incredible.
And so from your perspective,when people are wanting to get

(29:07):
into this fitness industry orfitness, you know, better their
life and.
I don't know what their goal is.
Maybe bench more, maybe runlonger, maybe all the above live
longer.
I think that's most people'sgoal.
What are some things that youcan suggest for people to
getting into fitness or wantingto get into it, or maybe bring
it to another level if they'realready involved?

Jarek (29:24):
Okay.
This is a good one.
So I'll start off by talkingabout a philosophy.
I try to live my life around.
It's called the slight edge.
So if you think of two lines ona page, and eventually as the
line starts going.
The top line kind of curves up,but then the bottom line curves
down.
So the idea behind the slightedge philosophy is that every

(29:47):
day you're taking little actionsthat are so simple to do and so
easy not to do littledisciplines or little habits and
compounded over time, it's goingto excel you on the path of
winning or the path of failure.
So for example, let's just sayYou and I we're both the same
size and you start going toMcDonald's every single day

(30:09):
because you just love Big Macs.
Right.
And you know, I'd make my lunch.
I'd, eat kind of healthy andwatch what I eat.
And after the first week, do youthink there's much of a
difference in body mass betweenyou and I?
Probably not.
Right.
But if we go two, three, fourmonths, then you might just
start, you might start seeingsome like.
Fat up here.

(30:29):
Maybe you have some greasepouring out of your pores,
right?
You start smelling like a BigMac and then you compound that
over a year, two years, threeyears then you really see the
difference and So everything youdo in life is either leading you
on the path of success or thepath of failure That's kind of
like a philosophy So for me itcomes down to like personal

(30:50):
growth if I'm in my car mylistening to a good Book or
podcast or am I just listeningto music?
It's going to excel me, right?
It doesn't change my life inthat instant necessarily but if
I do that for hours and hoursand days and And months and
years on end, I'm gonna learn awhole bunch more right same
thing with with health food Allright, same thing with fitness.

(31:11):
So I think if you have thatmindset that has helped me also
it comes down to habits, right?
And if you can put yourself in aposition to start working out.
So for example, there's a bookcalled Atomic Habits by James
Clear.
So James talks about in the bookthat there's this guy who is, I
don't know, 300 pounds and hestarted to want to basically

(31:33):
drop some weight and create thishabit.
And so.
What a lot of people do if theywant to start something new or
they want to just like changetheir life, they go from like
zero to a hundred, right?
I'm going to, stop doing thisand start doing this every day
of the week.
So if you've never worked outbefore, I would not encourage
you to start going to the gymevery single day of the week.

(31:55):
So this guy, his only thing wasthat he had to go to the gym for
five minutes.
That's it.
So he'd drive to the gym, walkin the door, five minutes,
lifting weights, treadmill, andthen he would leave.
And what happened, obviously, isthat doesn't do much for him,
but over time, he started totake it to 10 minutes, 15, 20,

(32:15):
an hour, so and so forth.
He had to just create the habitof getting to the gym.
And I think that's the biggestthing.
If you can create habits thatwill help you achieve your goal,
that's a good start.
So maybe if you're working outat home.
And you want to work out in themorning, you put your, your gym

(32:35):
shoes, your gym outfit on yournightstand or like somewhere
close that you get up, you hopin that stuff and you just like,
you get in that zone and, andthe habit of going to work out,
maybe just start 5 minutes, likethat guy did in the book or 10
or whatever it is.
So that's, that's 1 of them.
I would also say put in yourcalendar, you know, we were
emotional creatures.

(32:56):
So if it's in your calendar,you're more likely to do it.
So run your life by yourcalendar and not how you feel.
There's so many times that ifyou wanted to start working on
the morning, you're going towake up.
And you're not going to feellike working out, but if you
stick to your calendar, thenthere's a better chance of you
doing it.
If you're like, yep, it's in mycalendar, I've scheduled it,
then there's, there's just ahigher probability that you're

(33:16):
going to go and work out.
So don't run your life by howyou feel, run your life by your
calendar, and that will probablyhelp.
You know, with the fitness

Alfred (33:24):
game.
Yeah another part of fitness iswellness or food.
And I know this one isinteresting topic because
there's so much information outthere, man.
And I think this is one of themain areas where being in the
age of information has destroyedus.
In that perspective, I actually,like, sometimes when I go down
the social media rabbit hole, Iwatch videos of guys making fun
of like, he's trying to eatbreakfast and finds some sort of

(33:48):
online influencer rebuking it.
It's like, don't eat eggs.
They're the worst for you.
It's like, okay.
He puts that aside, grabsoatmeal, oatmeal is horse food.
It's not meant for, and thenlike, it just keeps going down
the fucking hole.
And it's like.
So where does a person get thisinformation?
Like, do you only shop atfucking Whole Foods and buy the
most expensive shit, which itseems like everything is Whole
Food prices these days, butlike, where would you suggest a

(34:08):
person could possibly start?
And I know it's very, veryindividualized.
Are you 300 pounds?
Are you 150?
Are you a cancer survivor?
Are you physically enabled in acertain sense?
Maybe a back surgery or a spinalfusion or whatever it may be.
I can come up with a plethora ofexamples.
But where would you suggestsomebody would start really
quickly?
Say, over say a period of a weekkind of curating their food or

(34:29):
what they do consume or whatthey stop consuming, what would
be some stuff that you wouldsuggest?

Jarek (34:34):
So one thing that worked for me you know you're right.
There's so much stuff out thereand documentaries and whatever.
And so right before my wedding,I, I watched this documentary
called I forget what it wascalled, but it was about sugar.
For example, my coffee, I'd liketo milk one sugar, so I just
started to, like, cut out sugarand I lost 12 and it's not like

(34:55):
I'd like if you think I almostdidn't have 12 to lose, but I
just started to trim up and so Ithink sugar is one of the
biggest things that help peoplegain weight.
Right?
So if you can cut out sugar anda lot of people don't know that
sugar exists in pasta sauces orlike For example, muffins, which

(35:15):
are just like glorified cake ina muffin form.
But if you can start reducingyour sugar, that's going to help
you feel better.
It's going to help you lookbetter.
And Hey, I get it.
We're all human.
We like the sweets and whatever,but that I would say that's a
big one.
I don't believe that diets work.
Right?
When someone's like, I'm goingto go on a, vegan diet, or I'm
going to go on a whatever dietbecause they're cutting

(35:37):
something out of the life.
And unless it's a lifestylechange, there's a good chance
it's not going to sustain.
Right?
If you're like, I'm going to eatmeat.
Oh, there's a carnivore diet.
Like, whatever.
There's so many.
So I think you just have to findwhat works for you, what makes
you feel good.
And there's a lot of noise outthere.
You're going to be distracted.
You're going to go down these.

(35:57):
I mean, I had some buddies atthe office a few years ago and
they started intermittentfasting.
So one guy says it and he says,Oh, this is what I did.
And another guy does it.
And so then there's like a groupof them that are intermittent
fasting and I'm like, this isn'tgoing to last.
And sure enough, three, four,five, six months, however long
it was, Hey, you guys stilldoing that?
Nah.
Well, yeah, it's notsustainable.

(36:18):
Right.
But for me, sugar, I can reducethat, right?
I can start taking it out.
Deep fried foods is another one,right?
It's a lot of it's common senseand We do love that instant
gratification.
So yeah, it does, you know, I'ma big, I'd rather have like
chips and dip type of thing oversome sugar.
So sure.
I'll go to town on some chipsand dip.

(36:39):
Right.
But it's another reason why Iwork out because I want to
counteract that.
But yeah, I mean, I'm no healthprofessional.
I just, what has worked for meis that stuff.
I also found a big change in, upin my protein.
And taking protein shakes beforebed I mean, I listened to a
podcast once and that's what ittold me to do.
So that's why, I mean, is itright?
I don't know.
But I started trying it and itworked.

(37:00):
I, I started to see results.
So I think it is trial anderror.
You can definitely hire.
Someone that is a professionalin that area.
I would say the biggest ones,cut out your sugar, reduce your
pop intake, or don't drink it atall.
Or that's a killer.
Deep pret foods and you know,the common sense stuff for sure.

(37:21):
So,

Alfred (37:23):
You touched on some good points there.
I actually am starting achallenge'cause I am a sugar
freak.
I fucking love my sugar.
Yeah.
And it's been, that's why I gota gut.
And you don't, and, in March, Itold the wife, I want to do 31
days, zero sugar.
And that's again, you mightlaugh at that and be like, talk
about sustainability or zero to60 in terms of that atomic
habits.

(37:43):
That's what I do.
So like, and this has been ahuge benefit, but also a
detriment in my life is you lookat this podcast studio.
I told my wife, I'm like, I wantto start a podcast.
And that gentleman that I toldyou, his name is Joe fear who
does this for a living.
He says, just do it on yourphone.
And I'm like, okay.
And within 48 hours, I had seventhings in the Amazon cart and

(38:04):
four things saved onmarketplace.
And I told the wife, I'mrevamping our office.
And I was like, I hadn't evenfucking recorded anything.
And that's just my style.
But that's something I want todo because I've cut out pop.
I actually only drink water andcoffee and I usually put.
Two servings of milk just tokind of like change the color.
But then you go to find out andI read the label of some sugars,

(38:24):
especially some of those likefair life ones.
And it's like nine grams ofshit.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
Like, and it just, one thingthat has changed for me, that I
would recommend to people isstart reading labels.
And I actually had a commentfrom a person at work that said,
Oh, you know, those aregovernment propaganda.
And I'm like, Oh my God.
I'm like.
It's better than nothing, it's,at least it's gonna show some

(38:46):
stuff, regardless of me droppingoff the U of A and asking some
fucking lab student to, gothrough this shit with a fine
tooth comb, like, it's gonna dosomething, because before when I
didn't read labels, and I wentto the store on an empty
stomach, I wanted to get In NOut, it's that fast paced
lifestyle, everything's gearedtowards convenience, you know,
pre packaged foods, packagedramen, all this other crap, and

(39:07):
I feel, what the Going back toeverything we did, I think if
people slowed down with theirfinances and like you said,
people sat down and gave it theattention it needs and the
respect it deserves.
I think if people did that withtheir, with their fitness, I
think if you sat down and said,you know, where are you lacking?
Where are you struggling?
Are you a bigger person so youdon't really need to gain?
You want to lose strictly?
Are you a smaller person so youwant to put on mass?
Are you in the middle so youwant to kind of have a bit of

(39:27):
both?
I think you need to sit down andevaluate it, and you need to
slow the fuck down.
And you just kinda need to sitthere and say, I don't need to
buy the most expensive programand Google something and pick
the first sponsored ad and paymy 39.
99 monthly subscription.
That's not what it's gonna dofor ya.
I think you need to really dosome harsh self evaluation, and
really kinda be hypercritical ofyourself, with some grace, but
at the same time, like, I am afat slob.

(39:50):
Alfred, you do consume a lot offucking sugar.
Stop being dumb.
Like, I think that's a big one.
So like from your perspective,what you, what you're saying is
cut it out.
But I think if, if people wereto just to sit down and either
like go the old route, write itdown, you know, everyone's like,
well, I'll put it in the notesof my phone, write it down, put
it on pen to paper, take awaythe technology, take away the
advertising.
So that way when we're talkingabout fitness and me and you

(40:13):
open our app and we havefricking.
Fitness buddies, sponsored adsstart popping up on our social
media, put pen to paper.
And then maybe that will do itfor you.
Or maybe if you have a spouse ora brother or a friend, maybe
have conversations amongst eachother and be like, no holds bar,
straight up.
Give me the top three things youthink I need to work on.
And I'll do the same for you orsomething along those lines.

(40:34):
I'm just spitballing here, but

Jarek (40:36):
there's a, there's a few things there.
I just want to touch on there'sso what I've found and through
research, That other people havedone that are smarter than me is
that your gut bacteria willcreate more of it.
So if you're constantly eatingsugar, all it wants is sugar to
feed it, right?
So when you start cutting thatstuff out, it's like if you're
a, an alcoholic and you cut outalcohol, you're going to be in

(41:01):
some sort of withdrawal, right?
And it's going to suck.
But that's the same thing whenyou cut out sugar and, crap like
fast food and stuff like that.
And you're going to.
You're going to want it for alittle bit, but then as soon as
you start eating healthier, itchanges everything.
So yeah, I mean, I'll power toyou 30 days for sugar.
I hope you do it right.
Maybe you reward yourself alittle bit, but I think once you

(41:24):
start reducing that you won'tcrave it as much because of that
reason.
And I think the biggest, totouch on another point you said,
one of the biggest scams in thenutrition world is the calorie,
right?
And we'll be like, Oh, that's200 calories.
That's 300 calories.
And so the calorie was born inlike, I think World War One,
when they started to have, theyhad to ration food and, and this

(41:47):
lady wrote this book on thecalorie and basically their
whole idea, I'm getting thestory wrong, I'm sure, but the
long and short of it is thatthey basically made people feel
proud to reduce their calorieintake so they could feed the
soldiers at war.
Oh, shit.
So a calorie.
So each there's the fats,there's protein.

(42:09):
And the carbs, so they all havea count.
I forget what the count is, butfor every one gram of protein,
for example, it's 20 calories orsomething like that.
So if something's 200 calories,it doesn't necessarily mean it's
bad.
It could be full of protein.
Right.
And so I think if peopleunderstand the difference
between protein, fat and carbs,and not all fat is bad, we need
fat.
So it's just like some basic,simple education on those

(42:33):
things.
I think of my mom back in, whenI was growing up, she went to
Weight Watchers and that was allthey talked about was calories,
calorie, calorie, calorie.
And that's when you started tosee the sugar free or the diet
pops and the sugar free candiesand all this kind of stuff
because there was no calories,but we obviously know what that

(42:53):
stuff does.
So yeah, it's, it's crazybecause you're right.
There is so much information outthere and You know, what do you
believe, right?
So it's yeah, I don't know whatthe right answer is.
Cause I'm not in that field, butbased on my personal experience,
that's what I'd say.

Alfred (43:10):
Wow.
If you would've told me thatcalories were a government
conspiracy, which I alreadystruggle with everything being
government conspiracy.
I was not ready for that.
That's crazy, man.
Dude, I love that.
A couple more topics I want totalk about here is.
Mental toughness.
So we kind of, I want to go backto this a little bit, but I want
to bring it almost a little bitpersonal.
If you're willing to talk aboutit is I look at a person like

(43:31):
you, where you're at and when wefirst met, marriage I don't know
if you had your youngest son yetor your oldest son yet when we
first met and I look at, fitnessand all this sort of stuff and
you're talking about it as it'sso ingrained and going back to
financial discipline, fitness,discipline, and mental
toughness, I kind of want to askif you're willing to share where
you go, So many people thesedays will come up with either an

(43:54):
excuse or victimhood mentalityor that old phrase I don't have
time.
I look at a guy like you thatyou know full time job you do
charity work Which we're gonnatouch on next you go to the gym.
You got two boys.
You're now doing it as a singledad Where do you go to mentally
to want to continue to do thiswhen life throws you a curveball

(44:15):
such as a divorce or life throwsyou a curveball as changing in
the financial industry andpeople are now struggling more
than ever?
Where does Jarek go mentally tobe like, I still want to do
this?
And we talk about delayedgratification, like what is your
purpose or what is yourrationale behind I still need to
maintain these things of,financial discipline, fitness
discipline.
Being a good dude, continuingwith the charity.

(44:37):
When I have every reason not to,where do you go that you can
tell people like, this is why Ido what I do, how I do it, when
I do it, all that sort of stuff.
Where does Jeric go?

Jarek (44:48):
Yeah, that's a really good question.
I think growing up, some thingshappened in my life that
definitely shaped me and helpedme grow mental toughness, you
know, from a simple, well,simple, but when I played hockey
in cameras, I mean, I was onlylike probably the only Chinese
kid growing up, right?
So sure, I dealt with someracial slurs and whatever, and I

(45:10):
just shrugged it off, laughed itoff.
And so growing up in school andplaying hockey, I just kind of
grew up with.
People kind of picking at me andI start to build this like
mental armor and looking back onit now I think that's that's
probably helped me a little bitin this area, but everyone has
mental toughness So for example,if this house was on fire and

(45:33):
you come home and you think thegirls are at home You're not
thinking like hey, is that doorunlocked?
Maybe you should try the backdoor, right?
You're busting in you don'tcare.
You're just going in to see ifthey're in there.
That's mental toughness, right?
And so I think what a lot ofpeople lack is a vision in any
area.
It could be for their life ingeneral.
It could be for their fitnessgoals, their health goals, their

(45:53):
financial goals, theirrelationship goals.
And, and they lack a vision.
And from that vision, you know,it's hard for me to explain to
you my vision in life, right?
I can see it, but it's hard forme to actually tell you it, but
I can tell you some goals anddreams that I have.
Within my life.
Yeah, let's do it.
Right?
And so, I can touch on that, butit's easier for me to articulate

(46:14):
some clearly defined goals anddreams.
So from that though.
What a lot of people have iswhat I call surface dreams.
They're not deep enough.
They're not emotionally tied toit.
Oh, yeah, I'd be nice to live inthat house.
It'd be nice to look like that.
It'd be nice to drive thatvehicle.
It'd be nice to have that muchmoney.
But they don't invest enough inthemselves to actually feel it.

(46:36):
So they need to increase theirhunger and desire in these
areas.
So if I, you know, there's areason why homebuilders build
show homes.
Because people walk into thehome and they see it, they feel
it, they smell it and they canimagine themselves living in it,
right?
It'd be easier and cheaper tojust have the blueprint or the

(46:57):
floor plans on the table.
Here's kind of the, the carpetand the finishings and.
You know, buy a house, but whenyou get people in that
environment, and you get them tosit in the car, turn on the car,
test drive it, you get theirsenses involved.
So, from that, what happens isthat you increase your self
discipline.
You just get more discipline.
So if let's just say I want totake the boys to Disneyland,

(47:19):
okay?
They're five and seven now, andthey obviously know what
Disneyland is.
But let's just say they've neverheard of Disneyland.
And I say, hey boys, let's go toDisneyland.
They're like, what's that?
I'm like, ah, it's Disneyland.
Like, let's just go toDisneyland.
They're like, but, why?
Like, what is it?
I don't want to go toDisneyland.
But then I start showing themwhat Disneyland is all about.
I show them the rides, I showthem the characters, I show them

(47:39):
the food, and all that kind ofstuff.
I start to get them involved init, and their, and their senses
involved in it.
And they're like, yeah, yeah,yeah, let's go to Disneyland.
Like, hold on boys, we got to dosome chores here.
We got to make sure over thenext six months that we clean up
our room, that we brush ourteeth right now, they're going
to be a bit more selfdisciplined because I've
increased their hunger anddesire in Disneyland and they

(48:02):
know the goal and the vision,right?
So once you get self discipline,what happens is that your self
respect starts to go up, yourself esteem, your self
confidence, your self worth,your self image.
You know, if I'm going to thegym and I have this, this idea
of who I want to be and who Iwant to look like and feel like
and all this kind of stuff and Istart going there and do the

(48:24):
reps and you know, my disciplineis increased because I just, I
can picture what, it is, thenall that stuff's going to
happen.
I'm going to feel way, way moreconfident.
My worth is going to go up,right?
See habits, obviously habits arethere because, you know, we want
to be successful.
We want to save money.
We want to.
Whatever, what I think habits domore importantly is that they're

(48:48):
like little votes for the personthat you want to become.
So if you start showing up tothe gym every single day and
you're doing the reps and you'redoing the workouts, you're like,
yes, I'm an athlete, I'm inshape, right?
And so the end product it'ssuccess.
It's prosperity.
It's fun.
It's happiness.
It's so it kind of just goesback to what do people want,

(49:09):
right?
Get clear on it, increase theirhunger and desire in it.
You'll naturally increase yourself discipline in that area and
you'll feel better aboutyourself and then you, you win
in that area.
So that's what I would sayaround mental toughness is that
I just kind of know why I'mdoing it.
I know why I'm going to the gym.
I know why I'm doing the charitywork.
I know why I'm going to work andit's just a vision for my life.

(49:31):
And you know, doesn't mean I'mperfect.
Doesn't mean I hit it.
Every day there's days.
Hey, I'm human.
There's days.
I don't feel like doing stuff,right?
But I just know that what I wantin life the vision I have I'm
more likely to achieve them if Ihave that so

Alfred (49:48):
so what is that purpose if you don't mind me asking
because like I said like whenyou're given all these
curveballs when somethinghappens in life, you kind of
separate from the wife, thenCOVID happens, you're kind of
begrudgingly living together andtrying to make it work, but at
the same time, not reallyawkward when you bring, A new
gym partner home and you'relike, we're just gonna go chairs
for five minutes.
And, you know where does Jerichomentally to be like, I got these

(50:09):
two boys that I need to reallyshow them how to do things.
And that might be your purpose.
And I know for me, my daughter'sa big reason why I do certain
things.
Now daughters are different thansons.
I imagine you're a lot harder onthe boys than I am on the little
princess, right, just the natureof it, the way it goes, but
where do you go mentally?
To continue to want to do thecharity, I'm sure you don't do
this by yourself.
You have great partners andgreat people that help you, and

(50:29):
support you in this.
And we're going to, we're goingto touch on the air right away,
but I'm just really curious.
Did you kind of dive down?
I don't mean to pry either.
Feel free to stop me anytime,but just, yeah, like in your
mind, like when you're at thegym and you're like, fucking
both boys are sick, the X isdriving me nuts.
I got this charity thingtomorrow.
I got no sleep.
What is the one thing in yourhead that you kind of, stick to
and to be like, this is why Ineed to do this.

Jarek (50:52):
So it's a really good question.
And for me, I think what I wouldsay is that at the end of the
day, when my boys are, are allgrown up, I want them to say
that my dad was awesome and Iwant people.
That I work with my clients, myfriends that I want them to say
I was a good person, right?
And so there's some other stuffthat goes along with that, but I

(51:15):
think it's what, what impact doyou want to leave on the world?
And yeah, I want to back in thefall, I was hanging out with
five Navy SEALs for three days,which was kind of cool.
And, and one of them talkedabout that.
He has, the reason why he justconstantly works out is because
he has an age 90 bucket list.

(51:36):
So when he's 90 years old, he'sgot a bucket list of things he
wants to do.
Walk 5k, 20 pushups, play withgreat, great guy and kids,
whatever it is.
Right.
So I'm like, this is reallycool.
That is cool.
So, it kind of shifted my, I'mpretty disciplined at the gym,
but it just kind of gave me thatlittle extra incentive that,
yes, this is the reason why I'mworking out, why I'm dragging my

(51:56):
butt to the gym, why I'msuffering through this stuff,
right?
And you know, hanging out withthose guys.
I think those guys are the mostmentally tough people in the
world.
I was asking Laurel, I was like,how do you go into battle?
Like, how do you, he's like, wego into battle knowing that
we're dead.
He's like, there's no way thatI'm going into battle knowing
that I'm going to talk to mywife or kids after this.
I go into battle knowing thatI'm dead.

(52:17):
I'm like, that is fricking wild.
Right.
And to give you an idea of likehow tough these guys are.
I asked one of them in hisclass, how many people started
the actual training?
So it was 240.
And so he kind of went throughthe different stages of, of the
SEAL training.
There was about, I want to saysix or seven different.

(52:37):
Sections or a course of, I thinkit was nine months or 12 months
or something.
And they lost the biggest amountof people during hell week.
And so that was Bud's trainings,there's three sections and hell
week is the first section.
It's actually like four or fivedays.
And that's when youintentionally have to drown
yourself and you have to go tothe bottom of the pool and

(53:00):
essentially pass out.
And so that's where a lot ofpeople failed.
So anyways, from his 240 class.
Only nine graduated.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
So, these guys are just on adifferent planet of mental
toughness.
One of the things that I, that Ido to strengthen my mental
toughness is the gym doing hardthings.

(53:21):
I'm crazy on the stair master.
I just try to like do a crazyamount of stairs for time.
And I, you know, you just wantto die and there's no stopping.
So that, that's one of thethings I do cold showers.
I know you're into the cold, so,you know, that's like but just
anything to just harden my mindand strengthen it because life
is hard, right?

(53:43):
And if, if you expect life to beeasy, life is going to be that
much harder, but if you expectlife to be hard and shit to come
your way and shit to hit thefan, then you just know it's
part of the recipe.
It's part of the process.
Oh yeah.
I was expecting my kid to breakhis arm one day.
I was expecting someone to passaway.

(54:03):
I was expecting whatever.
Right.
And it just part of the recipeof life that like.
You're going to have bad days.
You're going to, you know, gothrough tough times.
And if you're not mentally toughenough to handle it, then you
spiral.
I remember telling my, one of mybusiness mentors when they first
got separated, I was like, man,I can see how people go down

(54:25):
this, the spiral of drugs andalcohol and, you know, suicide,
gambling, whatever it may be.
Like I can see how people can doit if they're not mentally tough
upstairs.
Like if they don't have thecapacity to handle these tough
times, I see why people do it.
So yeah, I guess, I don't knowwhat the question was.
Sorry, Alfred.

Alfred (54:46):
I'm just, yeah, I think you kind of answered it when you
said you want your kids to kidsto save that their dad was
awesome and all that stuff.
And I think you touched on, Ithink you laid out the blueprint
as a, how to get there.
And then obviously it's veryeasy to use your kids as a
motivating factor.
I think people want to, I justthink a lot of people fail in
that aspect.
I seen a really cool little like10 second Instagram thing.
I shared it about two months agowhere this girl was working out

(55:10):
and she said most people willsay that they will die for their
family.
They'll say, I'll jump in frontof a car, I'll die for my
family.
And she was like, well how manypeople will say I will live for
my family?
You know, I want to be there aslong as possible.
I want to work out, I want to beas much of a contributing and.
Kind of an icon to my futuregenerations as possible.

(55:30):
And that was really powerful forme because I, it's a mind flip,
right?
You're reframing, your purposeand your why and your how.
And I thought that was reallycool.
So I definitely think youanswered it to a degree.
So I appreciate that becausethat's some deep stuff.
And yeah, not, not everyone'swilling to share that type of
stuff.
So appreciate it.
And I

Jarek (55:45):
think one of the thing is a slight edge.
I just think of the slight edge.
That's what, you know, if I keepmissing days, I just know that,
Hey, I'm going down the wrong,the wrong path, the wrong curve.
So that, that helps me.
It's just that philosophy oflike, is this going to put me on
the path going up or the pathgoing down?
So

Alfred (56:05):
that's why I do it.
Yeah.
I want to transition here tothis charity that you do,
because I think it definitelyneeds to be mentioned and
discussed, and I'd love forpeople to hear about it and how
they might be able to getinvolved, how they donate when
it's happening, because I thinkit's happening right away here.
Hey, so if you want to touch onthat, feel free from maybe
conception and origin, and thenmaybe where we're currently
standing today.
Yeah.

Jarek (56:24):
Well, I I came up with the idea.
Must have been 12, 13 years ago,a guy with our company had a
golf tournament that at thatpoint had raised over a million
dollars for the Make A WishFoundation.
And so I was like, yeah, it'd bekind of cool to do something
like that.
And obviously I loved hockey, soI was like, let's do a hockey
game.
And so came up with thisconcept, let's play Edmonton

(56:45):
office versus Calgary office.
Our first game was in SylvanLake and we ordered pizza after,
had probably Seven sound auctionitems and raise maybe two or
three grand.
And then we did it again thenext year and we did it in
Calgary and same sort of thing.
And, and over the, years, itjust kind of got bigger and
bigger and bigger and we kind offigured out what worked.

(57:06):
And so basically long and shortof it was we play the game.
It's a really bad to mediocregame.
But that's not the point of theevent.
It's to get together afterwards.
We have a reception.
We have someone from the stall,Rachel's hospital, a family that
has been, you know, part of itthat have used the services and,
and they tell their story andit's pretty heart wrenching.
And yeah, we just have a liveauction, sound auction.

(57:27):
We have entertainment.
So we've had, you know,comedians, we've had hypnotists,
and, dueling pianos.
We had a country singer, ChadBrownlee.
This year we have Lindsey L.
She's also a country artist, CCMayweather and a host of
Canada's Got Talent.
So yeah, we just have fun withit.
We it's, it is rewarding.

(57:47):
It's, it is a lot of work.
But I just think of like, life,there's no way I could do
something like this.
And it's, it's fun to give backand, and create relationships
and it's, I love it.
It's on April 6th this year.
So it's in about a month.
And, and usually in the lastcouple of months, a couple of
weeks leading up to it, that'swhen, it gets a little stressful

(58:09):
and maybe I'm not the bestmentally tough person at that
time, but it's it's superrewarding as.
As we're sitting at an event andseeing people having fun and
donating a whole bunch of moneyand, raising money for good
cause.
So, yeah, it's a, it can do withthe team either that I have.
So,

Alfred (58:25):
yeah, if you want to give any shout outs to anybody,
I mean, feel free, dude, noworries there.
Yeah.

Jarek (58:29):
I mean, my committee is I'll use their hockey nicknames,
GG, Stumpy, Skoggy, and Timbit.
Those are, those are the guys.
But they've kind of been helpingout almost since, the second
year or third year or somethinglike that.
And yeah, it's it's a teameffort and sometimes I don't
have the best ideas at times andthey kind of bring me down back
to earth and sometimes I havegreat ideas and vice versa.

(58:49):
We're figuring it out.
And this is our 11th year.
So I don't know, we kind of saylike in those last two weeks,
we're never going to do thisagain.
And sure shit, we do it.
Every year, so we kind of forgetwhat it's like, the hard work
and the, the stress and thefrustration, but it's it's for a
good cause.
So,

Alfred (59:08):
I think you were saying that you've raised over half a
million dollars for theStollery, but in total you've
done over 600 and

Jarek (59:13):
how much 635?
I think it is total fordifferent charities.
Yeah, 506 now for the Stollery.
So I have a goal of doing amillion dollars to the Stollery,
whether it be through the gameor through personal efforts.
And so.
We'll see.
We got, we got a ways to go, but

Alfred (59:28):
yeah, the Stollery is near and dear to our heart.
My wife and I, we have adaughter that's required the
Stollery quite a bit, andthey've been instrumental that
place is insane.
We donate, I don't know how muchmoney I think we donate 5, 000 a
year off my paycheck through thecompany I worked through.
So that works out well.
They're just fantastic.
And yeah, we love that.
Every time we walk through, wesee.
I don't know what that standsfor, but it's the children's

(59:58):
hospital there as well.
And I have two older brothersand we spent a lot of time in
that fucking hospital, brokenlimbs and concussions and all
this stuff.
My mom could have made residencyin there, no doubt.
So yeah, that's prettyincredible, man.
Cause yeah, to find a cause, youknow, that's worthy I think he
couldn't have found a better onein Edmonton.
So that's pretty commendable.
And then for anybody who'slistening, that might maybe

(01:00:19):
have, the word that comes or theacronym that comes to mind is,
is bag BHAG, big, hairy,audacious goal.
So I read a book that kind ofhad that in there and explained
a little bit when people havethese, there's these unforeseen
challenges.
That they couldn't haveanticipated, and it could be
something small, but it could bedetrimental.
Is there something in theduration from conception to now,

(01:00:39):
what's been that biggeststruggle that you find?
Is it cold calling donors?
Is it finding hockey players?
Is it venue?
Is it What's something on yourmind that's been kind of a
consistent thorn that you've hadto deal with that you weren't
really anticipating?
Or has it just gone relativelysmooth?
It's just a lot of hard work.
I'm not sure, right?
Just kind of curious if you cantouch on that.

Jarek (01:00:58):
Yeah, there's always some small stuff that comes up.
It's not like we've had someonelike an entertainer cancel last
minute or anything that youknow, obviously we'd love to get
more auction items, moresponsorship and whatever, but
you know, that is what it is.
But this year we're kind ofalmost struggling with ticket
sales for some reason.
Which is interesting cause we'reat the JW Marriott this year,
which for the first time you'dthink.

(01:01:20):
You know, it would generate moretraffic than the Fantasyland,
but yeah, I don't know.
It's more just work and timeand, you know, I do the artwork
and all that stuff, so it'slike, it's just time.
Yeah, I wouldn't say there's anysignificant challenges but maybe
other people would, it's justpart of the part of the deal,

(01:01:41):
right?
I expect I know what to expectand when it happens I'm not
overly surprised one of them waslike, where's my ticket?
Where am I sitting like juststupid shit?
Like lack of common sense stuffright that drives me bonkers
that probably the hardest partIt's just dealing with people
that should know how to be anadult That's fair.

Alfred (01:02:00):
Yeah.
People pay their whatever ticketprices and then they expect the
red carpet to be rolled out andall that stuff.
And it's like, it's not how itworks.
It's not how anything in lifeworks, let alone something like
this, but yeah, that's funny.
Dude, that's super commendable.
Is there like, what's the nameof it?
Like where can people maybe findsome information on this or
maybe purchase some tickets?

Jarek (01:02:16):
Yeah.
So our Instagram handles WFGHockey Classic they can check
out my.
My personal Instagram page theycan get tickets through that
either or through that handleor, or through mine we're kind
of doing it old school.
We did an online thing and foundout it was chaos because once
again, people are like, where'smy ticket?
And so anyways, we're doingthese old school, like paper
tickets.

(01:02:36):
So people have to be an adultand keep track of their ticket
like they did back in the daywhen they went to a hockey game
or a concert.
And so.
That's yeah, it's 155 bucks tocome and have a, have a nice
dinner at the JW and, see aprivate concert by Lindsay L and
we have tables of, of 10 for 14.
50 as well.
So any contributions great,whether it be a 20 donation to

(01:03:00):
sign auction items to, coming tosupport the event and hanging
out with us.
So,

Alfred (01:03:04):
yeah, that's awesome, dude.
I love that.
April 6th, you said, correct.
Perfect.
Nice.
Oh, that's awesome, dude.
A couple of things I wanted totouch on here and then I won't
keep you too much longer here.
Being a single dad.
I have an older brother that isgoing down this road and it's
quite interesting in 2024 andbeyond.
For somebody who has accoladeslike this, I think on a surface

(01:03:25):
level, I'm pretty comfortablewith my sexuality.
Yeah, you check a lot of boxes.
And I'm sure like most things,you know, on the surface level,
is there some things that youhave found to be struggling with
things that maybe you weren'tanticipating?
Maybe you went on a date with agirl that wasn't a girl.
I'm not, I don't know.
It's 2024, man.
Let's go.

Jarek (01:03:43):
Hey, well, thanks.
I, I yeah, my, thank you forboosting my ego there.
I, I'm not ready to explore youyet, Alfred, but

Alfred (01:03:51):
well, not with that attitude, my God.

Jarek (01:03:54):
Maybe we'll see what happens when the mics get off,
but no.
It's been interesting, you knowI've been separated since 2019
and I remember it was probablytwo months or so after my
separation, I'm hanging with mybuddy.
He's like, Hey, let's get you onthe apps.
I'm like, I'm looking onfreaking apps.
And prior to me, like I was appswere not a thing when I met my
wife, there might've been likeplenty of fish, but like, it

(01:04:17):
wasn't a thing.
Like Tinder wasn't a thing.
Hinge all this stuff.
And so anyways, we get on thisapp and I'm like, this is crazy.
And here's what I'd say aboutdating today.
People are so accessible.
They're accessible on the datingapp.
They're accessible on socialmedia.
So I think men and women areboth guilty of this, but they're
always looking for greenergrass.
If I don't like your plaidshirt, I'm going to go find

(01:04:39):
someone with a striped shirt.
And it's nitpicky and it's justbecause people are so accessible
back in the day when therewasn't an app and you had to
meet somebody either through afriend or organically, you know,
just because maybe I'm not a bigfan of your shirt.
I'm going to give you a shotbecause I know how tough it is
to meet people and, you know,approach somebody and all kinds

(01:05:00):
of stuff.
So I would say that is probablyit.
I'm also, I would say, and Ithink everyone says this, but
That's cliche.
I have high standards.
I'm picky that type of thing,but I know what I'm, I know my
worth.
I know what I bring.
It's a second chance for me andI don't want to make it a third
chance.

(01:05:21):
Right?
So it dating has beeninteresting.
It's been fun.
Got to meet some people.
Right?
But haven't found the 1 justyet.
I also find to I kind of saidthis.
Maybe in the first year ofdating, is that I wanted to find
someone after I kind of dated,you know girls or women without
kids and women with kids,divorced, all kinds of stuff.

(01:05:41):
And I found that, or I had thisfeeling or this thought process
that I needed to find somebodythat was married and or had kids
because they get it.
And so I think for from a singleparent standpoint, it's very
important to find.
Someone with kids because theyunderstand right if you're busy
with your kids, they get itThey're not selfish with their

(01:06:03):
time in terms of like why aren'tyou hanging out with me?
It's like well, I got my kidslike chill out, right?
But also like if they're ifthey've been divorced They're
probably of the same mindsetthat that hey, I don't want
another divorce right like Rossand friends I'm not to divorce
guy or three divorce guy orwhatever.
He says I just I I don't wantthat And, hey, marriage is

(01:06:24):
tough.
It is tough and, and more thanever, is it tougher today?
Because once again, people areaccessible on social media.
You know, someone flips open theapp, these guys are having fun,
they look like they love eachother, even though it's probably
opposite.
And they don't like each other.
They don't like spending timewith each other.
So I think it is hard to bemarried because, because of

(01:06:48):
that.
And if you're not with the rightperson or the right mindset to
have a common vision and, andunderstand that it is going to
be tough at times and how areyou going to handle those
struggles?
And so, I've done a lot of workI'd say, in terms of what.
I can do better in relationship.
I'm a big fan of Jay Shetty.
It's not like his work.

(01:07:08):
So yeah, I'm taking my time.
I'm not looking to You know,jump into marriage, but I
believe in it.
I think that if you find theright person and you gel good
and you can handle conflictgood, and you have a similar
vision and goals in life, thenyeah, you can, you can have a
loving marriage for sure.
So yeah, like what do you, Imean, you've been married how
long?

Alfred (01:07:28):
It was eight years in July.
So coming up on nine years,congrats, appreciate

Jarek (01:07:33):
it.
So, you know, obviously.
It's got to be tough living withyou.
So

Alfred (01:07:40):
like, but have you texted my wife?
Like what the fuck?
Like,

Jarek (01:07:44):
but you can, you can probably attest to this.
So yeah, it's, it's not allpuppy dogs and ice cream and
rainbows.
Right.
And so like, I'm curious, like,what would you say has helped
you guys kind of get throughsome tough times?

Alfred (01:07:57):
Oh man, I'm an outlier.
So I met my wife in high schooland been with her ever since.
So that's very rare these days.
Right?
So I think that is my recipe forsuccess.
And I'll explain that a littlebit.
Basically what I think theproblem is in, this whole
bullshit equality crap that'sgoing on in society where people
are afraid to acknowledge thatmen and women are different.

(01:08:19):
I think for women especially,the more experience they have
with men, they create thisimpossible metric of a man,
almost like Lego man, they havethis fucking bin.
And the more pieces you have topick from, you'll want to pick
this person like, Okay, who'sthe best in bed?
Who makes the most amount ofmoney?
Who's tallest?
Who has the best genetics?
Who has a rich family?
Who has And they'll say like,well, I want a guy that kind of

(01:08:41):
touches each one of thosequadrants.
And it's like So you wantnobody.
Okay, cool.
Like, and that's the problem.
Whereas I think men are oversimplistic, we put so much value
in one or two things.
It's like, I want her to stayhome and bake bread all day.
It's like nobody does that thesedays.
Or I want her to have the bestbody with the best boobs and the

(01:09:01):
best ass.
And it's like, okay, but she'sgonna bring a lot of baggage.
It's like we are over simplisticand women are overcomplicated.
And as we both gain moreexperience and as society does,
we're distancing ourselves fromreally what's going to make us
happy.
So I've been very fortunate thatthe things that my wife does.
Is exactly what we like, she'sas advertised, which is exactly

(01:09:22):
what I want.
I don't want a lot of externalinfluences on her.
She's very grounded in hervalues.
She embraced the stay at homemom thing for a few years while,
our daughter was going throughsome health stuff.
I wanted that.
She prioritized family that gaveme purpose and value.
Are there things that.
I have buddies that, you know,they sleep down the train of
women or, or all this stuff.
And you look at it and you'relike, well, society tells me

(01:09:43):
that that's kind of cool.
That's what a player does.
That's what Andrew Tate's of theworld do.
And then I look at that, I'mlike, damn.
And then about five secondslater, I'm just like, that
sounds exhausting.
I was like, that does not soundfun at all.
And I think going back to whenyou talked about how you were
raised, that's exactly how herand I were raised.
We were raised in a stablehousehold.
It's not going to be allsunshine and rainbow.

(01:10:05):
But at the end of the day, whenI come home.
And she understands what my lovelanguage is, which is acts of
service.
And I come in and there's say ameal on the table and my
daughter's happy to see mebecause my wife has propped it
up that dad's coming home.
And it's not this whole dramabullshit where it's like you get
handed a baby at the front doorand it's like, I'm heading the
fuck out of here.
It's like, that's not for me.
Some people want that.

(01:10:26):
Some people want their ownspace.
They're kind of there to createa family or maybe they don't
even want kids.
But for me, the sauce has justbeen we've been as advertised
since day one.
And we haven't allowed a lot ofexternal influences to disrupt
our relationship.
We've changed a little bit withtime, but I think we've also in
the last four years, especiallyour communication has been on

(01:10:47):
point.
And I talked about this in mypodcast episode with her is it
wasn't four years ago where wewere voting for different
political parties.
We didn't have the same, thesame mindset.
And I was fine with that.
She's her own woman.
Like I have my own positions andopinions, but now we're
realizing that the more cohesivewe are on really important
topics and having thosediscussions, right?

(01:11:08):
Like what's your position onGod?
What's your position on money?
What's your position on sex?
What's your position on, ourfamily member that's doing some
of this crazy shit that we kindof need to discuss because it's
going to become a problem.
We're not afraid to have thoseconversations.
And that's a massive one.
Is now our relationship, yeah,we've been married for eight and
a half years, but I feel likewe, our maturity level with how
we respect each other is 25, 30years.

(01:11:30):
And it has to be.
Because there's too much on theline.
I look at what divorces do,especially to men.
It's a fucking train wreck.
And we can touch on that.
I've seen it to a family memberof mine.
I've seen it to friends.
It's fucking crazy.
We have a family acquaintancethat's going through divorce
right now.
His wife was a stay at home momfor, you know, 20 years.
And they were in a divorceproceeding.

(01:11:51):
And there's rules and people maynot know about Alberta, how we
have a no fault divorce.
Meaning, if you find, you know,a woman or a guy in bed with
three other dudes just having atit, videotaping it, doesn't
matter, it's 50 50.
It's like, what the fuck?
And they were talking aboutMaintaining quality of life.
So this woman was a stay at homemom.
She got her nails done this muchtime and she wasn't being
greedy.
Like, you know, accolades toher.

(01:12:11):
She wasn't trying to, you know,over milk the cow.
She just laid out the truth andevidence.
And then he had mentionedsomething to the, I think it was
a mediator arbitrator.
And he said, okay, you'reputting all these financial
numbers down about what I needto supply.
And this was a female moderator.
So it worked out in him tryingto make the point he said.
Okay, would you agree that astay at home mom brings a lot of

(01:12:36):
value to a family?
Cooking meals, how much is itto, eat out every day, how much
is it to hire a cleaner?
These are things that a stay athome mom does, and a stay at
home wife does, and all thissort of thing.
He's like, so, and I don't knowwho was the one to initiate the
divorce, and really it'sirrelevant, but he said, So
where's my standard of life?
Because if I get called in foran overtime, or I have an
opportunity to head out of townto make additional money, and I

(01:12:57):
gotta hire a babysitter, I haveto pay for that out of pocket.
But she gets funded for that.
So there's a really, there's amismatch of the scale here of
consideration.
Because women especially will bethe first ones to tell you how
much unpaid labor they do ifthey're stay at home moms.
They'll be the first ones to doit.
They'll be the first ones tosay, oh, you know, we get paid
77 cents on the dollar, thatwhole bullshit scam.

(01:13:18):
But it's not considered.
For men, because everything isso fucking monetary.
Everything is about dollars andcents.
Where's the, where's thereceipt?
It's like, well, I can't fuckingprovide a receipt for my wife
feeding me five days a week whenI'm an absolute banger and I'm
putting together a charity forsick kids.
Is that fucking considered?
No.
And so, to go back to that, Ithink, for me, my wife and I

(01:13:42):
prioritize this so much becausewe both know what divorce does.
From a statistics, I know whatthe outcome of my daughter is.
If we're not a married couple.
And does that mean that I takeit on the chin at times?
Certainly.
I won't compromise, but I neverlet it get to that point.
It, you know, if my wife isdoing some dumb shenanigans,
I'll be the first one to say,you probably want to correct
that behavior.
And the same thing when she saysit to me, I don't take it

(01:14:02):
personal.
She's like, honey, you'reworking a lot of overtime
lately.
I don't say like, well, I'mproviding for this family and la
la.
I don't do that shit.
I'm like, you know what?
You're probably right, babe.
You know, let's, you know, let'ssit down.
Give me a couple of days becauseI'm still in the thick of it.
Work is crazy.
I need to prioritize this.
But let's maybe set up acompromise.
Maybe in a couple of weeks we'llhead out of town.
Or maybe in a couple of weeks,you know, we'll do something and

(01:14:22):
I'll stop trying to provide youwith just financial means.
I'll bring my presence.
Because that's her lovelanguage.
And most women's love languageis connection.
Right?
It's human interaction.
So that for me, in a nutshell,we take it serious.
Because society is ruthless.
When things don't work out theway they want to, from a
legality, from a financial, fromall this stuff, it'll wreck you,
basically.

(01:14:43):
I know people that have had towork additional 10 years because
of a divorce, and it completelydestroyed their retirement and
all this.
So, for me, I think we just giveeach other respect.
100 percent we never take aninitial statement personal and I
would actually implore this tomost people and this actually
came from my daughter's veryfirst soccer league when she was
five years old.
We have a 24 hour rule.
When anything gets emotional,when anything, you know,

(01:15:05):
something that's really on ourmind and really needs to get
out.
Now, mind you, there are certainthings that have to be handled
immediately.
There's no doubt about it.
Certain things that need to bediscussed right away.
But for the most part, if it'ssomething where, my wife's been
on her phone and really lackingfor a few days or, we really
haven't had talks or maybe theintimacy is lacking and you
know, you're kind of emotionallycharged about it where maybe you

(01:15:25):
wanted to make the first moveand you just got fucking the
door slammed on you, we give it24 hours and then after 24 hours
you eliminate immediate emotionand you apply logic and reason
and also consideration for theother person's perspective and
there's a much higher Yeah,

Jarek (01:15:48):
that's I mean, you hit the nail on the head with
communication.
I think that's the biggest thingwith relationships is
communication because someonecould say something one way and
they take it the other, thewrong way and it just, the
kitchen sink is brought out,man.
Like it's just, it's crazy.
So that's I mean, it's nice tohear that you got a solid
relationship because there's alot, Out there that don't and
it's sad today, but just theworld we live in.

(01:16:10):
And I think the stat has got tobe close to 70 percent of
marriages end in divorce.
I think it's close to 50, theysay, but that doesn't include
second marriages.
So, if you gotta you gotta beright on your, on your person,
that's for sure.

Alfred (01:16:23):
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's why thedating pool is so tough nowadays
is I think men aredisincentivized to get married
and men or women are overlyincentivized for the financial
component of it is the securitycomponent of it.
You haven't actually worked onyour foundation.
Why do you want to get married?
Why do you want to get the stateinvolved?
If you really, you know, I wasactually watching a video of my
favorite soccer player, but alsoonline personality Ibrahimovic

(01:16:44):
Zlatan, the guy's a legend andhe's been with the same woman
for like 24 years and heproposed to her in 2021.
And she said, no, and she'slike, why do I need to be
married to you to be with you?
She's like, it's fine.
And then of course the interviewwith the way slot time is he
joked.
He's like, will you ever do itagain?
It's like, no, she only gets onechance and that's done all this
funny stuff.

(01:17:04):
But it was just, it was, it washumbling to hear that.
And from a, from a maleperspective, I feel like not
being married from a financialcomponent or maybe having a, you
know, an ironclad prenup, itkeeps women accountable.
And it also keeps menaccountable.
Is, you know, if I want this,this partner to really build up
my life and have clearexpectations of what, you know,
the value you bring, becausesome marriages don't have kids,

(01:17:27):
you know, for me and my wife,you know, kids are a big thing,
right?
That's you know, that's amassive one, but if you don't
and you do, so this isapplicable to you, I think it
just keeps women from justgetting influenced by society.
And I feel like that's morecommon than ever.
Is, you know, a woman will sitthere and, maybe you're in the
shit, maybe you're not abundant,maybe COVID happened and, you
know, got laid off, or maybeinterest rates force you to sell

(01:17:49):
your dream home, you know, thesethings are happening, like this
isn't like me coming up with afucking ghost story, this shit's
happening every damn day.
And then she sees friends onsocial media getting their nails
did, they just bought the, theyjust bought the new Escalade.
And she's like, man, what thefuck is this clown that I'm
with?
He can't provide shit.
But it's like, this guy's likethe best dad ever.
This guy's like the best dudeever.
Or, you know, Jarek, why are youspending so much time on this

(01:18:11):
charity?
That's not me.
You know, it's like, if you'renot in line on that stuff.
Right and it's super superimportant and nobody talks about
this stuff.
Nobody talks about this stuffbecause it's a misogynistic or
you know You're being unfair towomen or you don't understand or
you need to consider it.
It's like If when I'mconsidering a life partner,
there's nothing nothing that'soff the table Nothing if I can't

(01:18:34):
talk about your family Becauseof some bullshit that's
happening or the fact thatthey're not involved with the
fact they treat you like shit orthey're life suckers or maybe
they're great people and I wantto prop them up if you're going
to tell me that something a partof your life is off the table by
it has to be because you can'thave demons in the closet you
cannot have demons in the closeteveryone has hidden shit you

(01:18:54):
know my wife might eat a bag ofchips and hide on the table or I
might sit there and grab a canof pop and she hears the click
and I'm like fuck like that'snot what I'm talking about I'm
talking about big shit you Adultbullshit, right?
Somebody's like, I really don'tlike Jarek's kids, you know,
they're you know His boys arecrazy and rambunctious and I
can't handle this It's likethat's not non negotiable If you
can't handle that and have aconversation with me and me talk
to my boys and maybe and I'musing this as an example I'm not

(01:19:15):
trying to try to attack oranything But I'm just using that
as an example where Somebodymight look at that today as an
excuse or a reason to like havea little bit less kind of a
relationship with you It's likethat's not non negotiable.
If you can't handle that you'redone And on to the next because
that's what us men do is like,we're a fucking speeding train.
It's like, get on, enjoy theride.
We'll get you there quick orwalk.

(01:19:36):
Those are your fucking options,man.
Straight

Jarek (01:19:37):
up.
When you, you hit the nail onthe head with the financial
component, you know, a singleparent trying to maybe the
renting or whatever, like to paytheir bills.
It's easy to be like, Oh, wecould be double income.
Could you imagine how much moneyI like?
So it's, they'd get together forthe wrong reason.
Cause it's convenient.
And so, yeah, that's a, that's abig, I mean divorce is one of

(01:19:58):
the biggest financialdevastators out there.
So it sucks, but

Alfred (01:20:03):
So if you don't mind me asking, do you think if you
found the right woman, a secondmarriage would occur or do you
think you'd leave the legalsystem out of it?
I'm curious about this cause Ihave somebody who's single right
now that they were, they werewith somebody for a while and
then it didn't work out and theywere talking about kids and
talking about marriage and itjust didn't work out.
And now their mindset hascompletely shifted and they've
just kind of realized that like,well, most of the women that I

(01:20:25):
go with, because they're gettingolder, they're like, they're
kind of getting younger becausebeing with a woman my age, like.
You know, if they had kids,their kids are out of the house
where I still have kids in thehouse and they're looking at
younger, it's like, man, theyall want to get married and all
want to maybe have kids on.
I'm done like I'm done withthat.
And it's terrible to think, butI truly feel that once you get
to get to have a certain age,whether you've been married or

(01:20:46):
you've never had a successfulrelationship, maybe you're on
the cusp and it just didn't workout and you've never actually
gone through the divorcecomponent of it.
I feel like you almost look atmarriage and kids and these
lifelong commitments asliabilities.
Like you start changing yourframe, right?
Because it truly is that.
You're always thinking in theback of your head.
And I think that's also adetriment to men is that's our
exit strategy.
That's our exit strategy not tocommit.

(01:21:08):
That's our exit strategy not to,you know, really blossom a
relationship into what it can beand have these difficult
conversations because you'rejust like, ah, she just fucks
around.
I'm gone.
If she acts a fool, I'm out ofhere.
Like one of those things.
And there might be a controlcomponent to that because the
most men do make more money thanwomen or do bring more of the.
The economic stability to arelationship, but it's crazy,

(01:21:28):
man.
I feel blessed that I'm not inthat, in that situation.
I pray it never gets there.
I don't ever see it happening,but I mean, fuck anything can
happen, but.
Yeah, I, I can't imagine man.
So kudos to you for handling it.
Maybe, maybe a real quick one.
And I don't know if this mightbe something for all the single
dudes out there is what's beenthe best resource for the
highest quality women thatyou've kind of found.

(01:21:48):
Is it the gym?
Is it Bumble?
Is it Tinder?
This might be an advertisementfor an ad.
I'm not sure.
But,

Jarek (01:21:53):
So as I started dating some women and hearing some
stories.
I'm most like this is mycompetition some of the shit
that these guys do or say orpull it just it's mind boggling
Obviously if you can meetsomeone organically or through
friends, then that I thinkthat's the best way if you got a
reference, right?
That's the best way Because youjust know like who they are and

(01:22:15):
and whatever as opposed toswiping on an app It's so
superficial and but I mean, it'skind of what what it is.
Oh, it's like here's somepictures Here's a little blurb
and everyone can say anythingbut like You're kind of almost
looking at the picture.
Am I attracted to this person?
Right?
And then you go from there.
And so I, I've had good results,good in quotation, meaning that

(01:22:38):
I've met people at the gym.
They've gone on dates withthey've dated.
I've met people on the app thathave gone on dates with them and
I've dated.
So you know, I think you justgot to put yourself out there.
I.
I think that prior to me gettingin business, it was harder for
me to talk to women.
After being in business, havingkids, marriage, like I've just,

(01:22:59):
I've gained confidence.
I'm, I'm in the best shape of mylife.
So that also helps with talkingto women, right?
Knowing your worth.
Yeah.
They kind of like that shit.
Yeah, that helps.
So, I don't know.
I mean, what's worked for me isjust open your mouth, right?
I think a lot of women Out inthe world, they would like to be

(01:23:20):
approached and they're not,right?
Because people don't want to getrejected, right?
It's the number one reason whypeople don't open their mouths
to like say, Hi, how are you?
My name is Jarek, right?
And if they say no, then so beit.
You're still going to live sureyou might take an ego hit.
It's a numbers game, right?
You got to run some numbers.

(01:23:41):
Not everyone's going to say yes.
So yeah, I think you just got tofind out what you want.
I mean, if you're like, Hey, Iwant a wife one day, but you
don't know what that wife lookslike then it's going to be
tough.
So for example, if you're into.
Six foot blondes, right?
And you walk the mall, you'regonna see that six foot blonde,

(01:24:01):
it's called the reticularactivating system.
So whatever you focus onexpands.
And once you kind of have anidea, from the, essentially the
minute I was divorced orseparated, I made a list in my
phone of like, what I want.
If I could paint the, or buildthe, perfect woman and wife,
here's what she would look like.

(01:24:22):
And so I know that there's notsomeone that fits that, that
bill, but if I can check off themost boxes in this, in this
list, then that's a pretty good,pretty good thing.
Right?
So if you don't know what you'relooking for, that's going to be
tough to find to me.
But if you do know what you'relooking for, then I think you'll
find it.
Have you

Alfred (01:24:42):
found that there's a lot of common traits, a lot of
single women have nowadays thatyou weren't really anticipating
or maybe that they don'tpossess, like maybe you're
looking for a girl with a bit ofsexual temperance, maybe that's
invisible or, you know, like,what is it where you were just
like, there's this one line Ihad on my list and she don't
exist, like cross gone, that'snever happening or, Vice versa.

(01:25:03):
Is there something that just theplethora that they have?
I'm just, this isn't my area.
So I'm really curious.

Jarek (01:25:09):
Every woman, I swear to God, every woman has tattoos and
has a dog.
I don't know.

Alfred (01:25:16):
I would have guessed a cat, bro.
There's no big cats got to bemore popular than dogs,

Jarek (01:25:20):
bro.
At least on the apps.
It's like must love dogs.
I have a dog.
You have to like my dog.
You have to be impressed.
Friends with my dog or like, solike it's so uncommon to find
someone.
That doesn't have either.
Not that that's like a thing onmy list, but I was about to

Alfred (01:25:32):
say, I was like, you fucking hate dogs,

Jarek (01:25:34):
bro.
I was like, what's going onhere?
But just like, but it does throwa wrench into things.
It's like, Hey, I'm dating you.
You've got a dog.
Okay.
Frick.
It's like childcare.
You're going to find a doggiesitter.
Like, so yeah, that's not mylist, but that's what comes to
mind that like every woman,every, but every woman has a dog
or tattoos.
And, and it's just funny.
I think it just goes back tolike People looking for greener

(01:25:55):
grass.
That's what I think it is.
They're not fully committed,they're not fully in, and They
just, they're kind of exploring.
Right?
So.
Yeah, it's an

Alfred (01:26:07):
interesting world, man.
Cool, man.
We're going to close this onebecause this has been going for
a bit here.
So appreciate your time today asalways.
Is there anything else youwanted to expand on while we
were here?
Anything else you wanted to kindof dive into a little bit?

Jarek (01:26:20):
I mean, no, this is a, this has been interesting.
It's been a cool experience.
Like I told you, you took my Vcard.
How about that?
Yeah, there it is.
Let's go.
Let's go.
But it's crazy to think thatthis is only, what do you say?

Alfred (01:26:30):
Eight, six, this is episode eight, episode eight.
Yeah, you're, you're a pro.
I appreciate that,

Jarek (01:26:36):
man.
Your voice is just way betterthan mine that I can sound in
my, that I can hear the voice inmy headphones

Alfred (01:26:41):
right now, so.
Practice makes perfect.
You'll come on here with yourfuture wife sometime too for
another episode.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Cool, man.
Well, where can people find you?
Where is something that you wantto plug?
Anything you want to put?
I'll include some stuff in thedescription of the episode, but
is there anything you want toshout out, person, thing?

Jarek (01:26:56):
Yeah, probably just Instagram is the best way to
reach me if you want to get holdof me.
I think my contact info is onthere somewhere through links.
I'm not too sure.
But send me a message and yeah,that's probably the best.
Find me at the gym, find me atthe, I won't tell you which gym,
but you can just, yeah.
Yeah.

Alfred (01:27:12):
You'll be swatting them off, bro.
It'd be a flood going throughthe door, dude.
It's been super fun, man.
I love some of the topics we'vediscussed has been real.
It's been, you know, current,which I really appreciate.
We haven't really been living inthe past.
Definitely some modern 2024stuff.
So.
Appreciate it.
And dude, best of luck with thatcharity, man.
That's fantastic.
I think that's great.
I would say that we would begoing, but my wife and I are in

(01:27:34):
disney world.
We're going to Florida.
So yeah, right at that time wefly out that day.
So but yeah, I'll see what I cando maybe for a small donut or
something.
We'll definitely support you inany way we can, man.
Okay.
Well, I appreciate it.
so much.
All right, man.
Thanks very much.
And for anybody listening, catchyou guys in the next episode.
Peace.
Well, that's it for thisepisode.
Thank you so much for listeningto the unmodern podcast.

(01:27:55):
If you like what you heard andwant to hear more, don't forget
to hit that subscribe buttonalso like, and follow me on
Instagram and Facebook atunmodern podcast.
Do you have suggestions forfuture guests, or if you're
interested in being a guestyourself, please visit unmodern
podcast.
com.
Thank you again, and we'll seeyou in the next episode.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}[EP08] "How To Improve Your Finances and Fitness & Mental Toughness"

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

All Episodes

[EP08] "How To Improve Your Finances and Fitness & Mental Toughness"

Stuff You Should Know