UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman

UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman

UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman is a FREE weekly podcast that educates and lifts up parents of children who have experienced trauma and supports them to live fully alive in their personal lives while healing the hearts of their children at the same time. Find the podcast at https://www.lovemattersparenting.com/podcast. For expert guidance from Ce Eshelman on parenting children from difficult beginnings, join the Love Matters Parenting Society at https://www.lovemattersparenting.com.

Episodes

November 17, 2025 โ€ข 20 mins

In this eye-opening episode, Ce shares whatโ€™s really happening when a trauma-impacted childโ€™s behavior looks calculated, controlling, or manipulative. Itโ€™s not evil genius (or other automatic fears)โ€”itโ€™s learned survival logic.


Using clear neuroscience, Ce explains how negative reinforcement wires the brain to seek relief from shame, fear, and powerlessness. Youโ€™ll learn why your childโ€™s brain sometimes picks control over connec...

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In this heartfelt guest episode of Unmuted Love, Ce Eshelman, LMFT, sits down with Kristina Nation, a parent coach and mother who walked her own teen daughter through the stormy, unpredictable seas of teen depression.


Kristina opens up about the fear, helplessness, and quiet courage it took to stay connected when her daughter struggled to find her way. Together, Ce and Kristina unpack what depression can really look like in youn...

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In this deeply personal and luminous conversation, Ce interviews Arleen Tyndall who opens her heart about the journey from performing perfection to embracing her humanness. From the outside, Arleenโ€™s life looked polished and put-together, but underneath, she was carrying the weight of generations of pain, silence, and emotional disconnection.


Her awakening began in Bali, where she went to explore her ancestry and unexpectedly un...

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In this episode, Ce Eshelman, LMFT, takes us on a heartfelt, humorous, and deeply healing journey through why play is the nervous systemโ€™s first languageโ€”and why adults need to learn it, too. Drawing on the wisdom of some of the great attachment thinkers and healers of our time--Dan Hughes, Bruce Perry, Dan Siegel, Kim Goulding, and Robyn Gobbel--Ce explores neuroscience, attachment wisdom...

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Shame is sneaky. It hides in our nervous systems, whispers in our parenting ears, and if weโ€™re not careful, it quietly (or not so quietly ) repeats from one generation to the next. In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce shares some of her personal story about how shame gets passed down from our parents, through us, and into our kids from difficult beginningsโ€”kids who are already extra-sensitive to shame.


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Parenting a child from a difficult beginning is not for the faint of heart. And when the weight of blocked care, compassion fatigue, and plain old burnout slaps you down, itโ€™s not because youโ€™re weak or unlovingโ€”itโ€™s because your nervous system is crispy. In this episode, Ce breaks down daily micro-moments of self-compassionโ€”tiny pauses that keep your love alive in the middle of chaos...

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You already know the five senses. Maybe even the sixth (proprioception) and seventh (vestibular). But what most parents never hear about until theyโ€™re tearing their hair out: the eighth senseโ€”interoception.


In this episode, Ce takes you through real-life examples of interoception struggles (yep, youโ€™ll be nodding along), explains why kids from difficult beginnings struggle most, and why a good occup...

Does your childโ€™s rage or rejection feel like it slices right through your chest? Youโ€™re not imagining itโ€”it really does hurt. But often, that pain isnโ€™t just about whatโ€™s happening in the moment. Itโ€™s an old woundโ€”your woundโ€”being reactivated.


In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce unpacks the sneaky way your childโ€™s trauma behaviors can poke at your deepest places of shame, rejection, and unworthinessโ€”what psychology calls&n...

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In most cases, your child from difficult beginnings voice was silenced long before you ever met them. Their early cries for food, safety, and comfort went unanswered, wiring their nervous system to believe they were unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. Now, those silenced beginnings echo in your homeโ€”through endless chatter, meltdowns, shutdowns, or explosive behaviorsโ€”and through your own frustration, yelling, or even des...

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In this episode, presented at the Siskiyou County Office of Education Symposium in Weed, California, Ce gives a quick, brain-based โ€œwhyโ€ behind Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), better described as Complex Developmental Trauma, and how it plays out in real-life classroom dynamics. Teachers will want to listen to this.


Children who have experienced early trauma donโ€™t walk into the classroom with a clean slateโ€”they carry th...

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In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce Eshelman, LMFT, delves into the complexities of back-to-school anxiety, offering practical neuro hacks and strategies for parents and children alike. Learn effective techniques to help your child navigate their emotions. From exposure therapy to calming mantras, Ce provides a toolkit for fostering resilience and emotional strength. Tune in to empower your parenting journey and support your child'...

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Why do kids from difficult beginnings lieโ€”sometimes all the time? Why does it feel so personal? And how can we as parents respond in ways that build connection and trust? In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce unpacks the survival-brain reasons behind lying, shares common patterns of trauma-driven lying, and gives practical scripts to help you respond with compassion and calmโ€”even when your childโ€™s stories are driving you bananas.


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Weโ€™re picking up right where we left off last episode on Reactive Attachment Disorderโ€”because once youโ€™ve embraced the P.A.C.E. approach, the next step is building a family culture that can actually hold it all. In this episode, Ce gets practical about what it really takes to raise a child with a severe attachment injury: structure, supervision, belonging, and relentless compassion.


Youโ€™ll learn how to create a home thatโ€™s safe,...

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Parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder isnโ€™t about trying harderโ€”itโ€™s about parenting differently. In this episode, Ce dives into what it truly means to be a secure base for children from very difficult beginnings. Youโ€™ll learn Dan Hughes' P.A.C.E. frameworkโ€”Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathyโ€”and why itโ€™s the heart of healing.


Ce will unpack how attunement, emotional connection, and gentle persistence can r...

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So your child got a RAD diagnosisโ€”now what? In this follow-up episode, we move beyond understanding and dive into the real-life strategies that make a difference. Ce shares practical, brain-savvy tools for parenting kids who push love away, challenge every limit, and need you most when they act like they donโ€™t.


Weโ€™ll talk about attachment-focused, brain-based behavior management, daily routines that work, and how to survive the ...

When kids donโ€™t get the consistent, nurturing care they need early in life, their ability to form healthy relationships can get wired all wrong. In this episode, weโ€™re unpacking Reactive Attachment Disorderโ€”what it is, what causes it, how it's diagnosed, and why early recognition can make all the difference.


If you're raising a child through adoption, foster care, or trauma, this is a must-listen primer on what might really be g...

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Today's episode is all about stepping out of the drama of playing various unhealthy roles inside ourselves and within our families. Ce briefly shares parts of the Karpman Drama Triangle and how replacing it with the Empowerment Triangle can save you from Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer behaviors in your family interactions. Stop the chaos by stepping out of the drama.

From ...

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Everyone wants a magic cookie cutter intervention for stopping being hit by children who experienced trauma. Guess what, no magic solutions possible. There are some answers though. Self care for you and connection for them are paramount. In today's episode, When Love Hurts, Ce talks about some simple tips for dealing with this in a family setting and when your children are not teenage...

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In this episode, Ce tackles the often infuriating statements that come out of our children's mouths like: "I didn't do it," "I didn't take it," You never believe me," or the perfect accusation "You don't love me."  Yes, children gaslight, too. In adults it is quite damaging. In children, gaslighting is an opportunity for parents to build their child's felt sen...

Today Ce makes it easy to see how Adverse Childhood Experiences in a parent's life and their attachment style impacts parenting children from difficult beginnings. 


Take the ACES test to find your score before you listen to this episode. You can take it here: acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English-rev.7.26.22.pdf or simply Google ACES test and you will be taken to the q...

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