UnMuted Love with Ce Eshelman

Shame is sneaky. It hides in our nervous systems, whispers in our parenting ears, and if we’re not careful, it quietly (or not so quietly ) repeats from one generation to the next. In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce shares some of her personal story about how shame gets passed down from our parents, through us, and into our kids from difficult beginnings—kids who are already extra-sensitive to shame.

Check out the companion blo...

Parenting a child from a difficult beginning is not for the faint of heart. And when the weight of blocked care, compassion fatigue, and plain old burnout slaps you down, it’s not because you’re weak or unloving—it’s because your nervous system is crispy. In this episode, Ce breaks down daily micro-moments of self-compassion—tiny pauses that keep your love alive in the middle of chaos...

You already know the five senses. Maybe even the sixth (proprioception) and seventh (vestibular). But what most parents never hear about until they’re tearing their hair out: the eighth sense—interoception.

In this episode, Ce takes you through real-life examples of interoception struggles (yep, you’ll be nodding along), explains why kids from difficult beginnings struggle most, and why a good occup...

Does your child’s rage or rejection feel like it slices right through your chest? You’re not imagining it—it really does hurt. But often, that pain isn’t just about what’s happening in the moment. It’s an old wound—your wound—being reactivated.

In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce unpacks the sneaky way your child’s trauma behaviors can poke at your deepest places of shame, rejection, and unworthiness—what psychology calls&n...

In most cases, your child from difficult beginnings voice was silenced long before you ever met them. Their early cries for food, safety, and comfort went unanswered, wiring their nervous system to believe they were unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. Now, those silenced beginnings echo in your home—through endless chatter, meltdowns, shutdowns, or explosive behaviors—and through your own frustration, yelling, or even des...

In this episode, presented at the Siskiyou County Office of Education Symposium in Weed, California, Ce gives a quick, brain-based “why” behind Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), better described as Complex Developmental Trauma, and how it plays out in real-life classroom dynamics. Teachers will want to listen to this.

Children who have experienced early trauma don’t walk into the classroom with a clean slate—they carry th...

In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce Eshelman, LMFT, delves into the complexities of back-to-school anxiety, offering practical neuro hacks and strategies for parents and children alike. Learn effective techniques to help your child navigate their emotions. From exposure therapy to calming mantras, Ce provides a toolkit for fostering resilience and emotional strength. Tune in to empower your parenting journey and support your child'...

Why do kids from difficult beginnings lie—sometimes all the time? Why does it feel so personal? And how can we as parents respond in ways that build connection and trust?

In this episode of Unmuted Love, Ce unpacks the survival-brain reasons behind lying, shares common patterns of trauma-driven lying, and gives practical scripts to help you respond with compassion and calm—even when your child’s stories are driving you bananas.

Y...

We’re picking up right where we left off last episode on Reactive Attachment Disorder—because once you’ve embraced the P.A.C.E. approach, the next step is building a family culture that can actually hold it all. In this episode, Ce gets practical about what it really takes to raise a child with a severe attachment injury: structure, supervision, belonging, and relentless compassion.

You’ll learn how to create a home that’s safe,...

Parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder isn’t about trying harder—it’s about parenting differently. In this episode, Ce dives into what it truly means to be a secure base for children from very difficult beginnings. You’ll learn Dan Hughes' P.A.C.E. framework—Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy—and why it’s the heart of healing.

Ce will unpack how attunement, emotional connection, and gentle persistence can r...

So your child got a RAD diagnosis—now what? In this follow-up episode, we move beyond understanding and dive into the real-life strategies that make a difference. Ce shares practical, brain-savvy tools for parenting kids who push love away, challenge every limit, and need you most when they act like they don’t.

We’ll talk about attachment-focused, brain-based behavior management, daily routines that work, and how to survive the ...

When kids don’t get the consistent, nurturing care they need early in life, their ability to form healthy relationships can get wired all wrong. In this episode, we’re unpacking Reactive Attachment Disorder—what it is, what causes it, how it's diagnosed, and why early recognition can make all the difference.

If you're raising a child through adoption, foster care, or trauma, this is a must-listen primer on what might really be going...

Today's episode is all about stepping out of the drama of playing various unhealthy roles inside ourselves and within our families. Ce briefly shares parts of the Karpman Drama Triangle and how replacing it with the Empowerment Triangle can save you from Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer behaviors in your family interactions. Stop the chaos by stepping out of the drama.

From ...

Everyone wants a magic cookie cutter intervention for stopping being hit by children who experienced trauma. Guess what, no magic solutions possible. There are some answers though. Self care for you and connection for them are paramount. In today's episode, When Love Hurts, Ce talks about some simple tips for dealing with this in a family setting and when your children are not teenage...

In this episode, Ce tackles the often infuriating statements that come out of our children's mouths like: "I didn't do it," "I didn't take it," You never believe me," or the perfect accusation "You don't love me."  Yes, children gaslight, too. In adults it is quite damaging. In children, gaslighting is an opportunity for parents to build their child's felt sen...

Today Ce makes it easy to see how Adverse Childhood Experiences in a parent's life and their attachment style impacts parenting children from difficult beginnings. 

Take the ACES test to find your score before you listen to this episode. You can take it here: acesaware.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/ACE-Questionnaire-for-Adults-Identified-English-rev.7.26.22.pdf or simply Google ACES test and you will be taken to the q...

Ce shares her experience as a therapist during what is turning out to be troubling times. Find out the 10 myths of grief and some tips for coping with a personal grief over losing a loved one, grief after losing a dream, or collective grief from the political wave of change that is provoking an avalanche of mixed feelings--grief being one of the many--no matter what side of the a...

In today's episode Ce gives you a short and sweet neuroscience lesson on why kids self-sabotage so much and how parents can be the changemakers in the way they respond. There isn't anything more frustrating than wanting your child to be able to have fun at an anticipated birthday party, overnight with friends, or a trip to Six Flags, and just before the event they pull out some k...

Ce Eshelman, LMFT, embarks on a journey through the big emotions that come when adoptive parents bring their children home and the reality doesn't match the dream. There are many ways to understand these emotions, and learning ways to process them will help parents stay out of Blocked Care. Ce shares some awareness, insights and practical solutions in today's episode.

Resource:

Reclaiming Compassion

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