Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, welcome
everyone to this next episode of
Unpacking Truths and again havea guest with me who I'm just
excited to be able to hear herstory.
I know some of it, but I'llprobably learn some new things
here today, as all of you willtoo.
I'm Pastor Kendall.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Pastor Mo.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to Unpacking
Truths, where we dive deep into
God's timeless truths for ourlives today.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Grab your coffee.
Open your hearts and your minds.
Come take this journey with us,as we unpack God's truths.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
So with us is Kandi
Neely, who is part of Light of
Christ.
She's on staff here at thechurch as well, working with our
PATH, our middle school program, and coordinating that.
And anyone who loves and workswith middle school kids has to
be an amazing person and alittle bit of a screw loose.
Just saying, and, candy, Ithink you qualified both of
(00:54):
those.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I would agree with
you wholeheartedly on that.
It's true.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
So, candy, we're here
, though, not to talk about PATH
and middle school, but to talkabout the journey that God has
taken you on in your life, andso this is your story.
So I'm really just wanting tocreate a forum to be able for me
to hear more of it, for othersto be able to hear some of it,
and then I'll interject withsome questions, but why don't
you tell me a little bit as yougrew up as well?
(01:20):
I'll let you tell your story.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
All right.
Thank you, pastor Kendall.
So my story starts with aninterfaith marriage of my
parents.
My dad was Polish Catholic, mymom was raised Jewish and they
had agreed when they got marriedthat I would be raised Jewish
because it was so important tomy mom and family.
So, fast forward, I'm about 10months old and things don't work
(01:43):
out.
My parents separate and I amstill to be raised Jewish,
attend synagogue.
I was very involved in mysynagogue, temple High in
Buffalo Grove.
I grew up there.
I was actually even in theJewish show choir Shining Lights
, which was- Of course you were.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Of course you were I
loved it.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
My mom was a
choreographer.
I was very involved and I wouldsee my dad you know usual
divorce situation every otherweekend and he when I was about
10, became a born-again believer.
So when I was there on Sundayshe would bring me to church with
him and I was so intrigued bythe idea of Jesus.
Having had such like a messygrowing up family, this idea of
(02:26):
someone who would love meunconditionally was this amazing
idea.
And I could just feel, when Iwas in church, jesus, I could
feel the peace in his spirit.
But I had been told growing upwhat does it mean to be Jewish?
It means you don't believe inJesus.
It means he was a good man, notthe son of God.
It means he was a prophet, notthe son of God.
(02:48):
So I thought I've been Jewishmy whole life.
How do I go from here to hereand love Jesus, the Jesus I'm
experiencing at church with mydad, without losing this huge
piece of who I am?
And that was a struggle for alot of years, I would say
probably from when I was like 10or 11, I actually started
(03:08):
praying Jesus, if you're real,make this something I can be,
because if you are real and youlove me and you want me to be a
Christ follower, make it so thatI can be Jewish.
It was like me, in a way,almost you're not supposed to
test God, but I was 11.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
So a number of people
in the Bible did that anyway,
so you're in good company.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
A lot of people have
done that, so I guess add
Candace.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Gideon put out the
fleece and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yeah, add Candace
Neely to the ranks of people who
test God.
So you know I spent high school, middle school kind of
examining.
I would pray.
I especially would pray ifsomething was wrong, like Jesus,
if you're real, always kind ofquestioning.
And it was hard because my momand her family it was- very
(03:58):
important to be Jewish.
Understandably.
Yes, we're a very tribal people, I think, especially when we
think of some of the atrocitiesthat have happened to the Jewish
people.
It wasn't all that long ago.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
No.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And so you know my
grandmother lived through seeing
the pictures of camp survivorsand there is a little bit this
us like we have to protect thenucleus of the.
Jewish people and you stayJewish.
So there was like the betrayalaspect for my mom, my grandma.
I was so upset about upsettinganyone.
I'm already in this messydivorced parent situation.
And then there's my dad, whoI'm seeing his life change and
(04:37):
I'm.
I remember they did a passionplay at his church and I got to
be in it and I got to be one ofthe weepers and by the end I was
really crying, picturing Christdying, and I knew I wanted to
be a Christ follower.
But how did I make it work?
How do you take a fish and aduck and make them all live in
(04:59):
one place?
So I prayed and prayed, andprayed and prayed.
And my senior year of highschool, when I was with my dad,
it was very much hey, this iswhat the family does, you're
going to come with us to church.
And so I went for Easter Sundayto his church and I again had
been praying.
How can this and this exist atthe same time?
(05:20):
And the sermon on Easter Sundaythat year was all about how
Christians and Jews are meant tolive in harmony, how we're
supposed to, as Christ followers.
We're supposed to supportIsrael, support the chosen
people, which is God's firstpeople and we're meant to be one
, and I felt like I was punchedin the face by the Holy Spirit
(05:42):
in the most loving way possible.
But it was like a wow, likethere's no denying this.
So I accepted Christ rightthere, right there.
And then I remember justsobbing and being like wow, god,
this is real.
Like this is all the years ofquestioning and not knowing
Jesus is real.
(06:03):
But then it turned into how canmy two worlds coexist?
And that was a little bittrickier.
But I also got to examine, asmore of a grown-up, what it
actually meant to be Jewish.
You know, I think that, whilethey were well-intentioned and
well-meaning, but when my familyexplained to me what does it
(06:24):
mean to be Jewish, you know, Ithink that while they were
well-intentioned andwell-meaning, but when my family
explained to me what does itmean to be Jewish, it means you
don't believe in Jesus, youdon't do Christmas, you don't do
Easter.
That was just showing me how Iwas different than other
religions.
But the more I really examinedJudaism, everything we do in
Judaism is to honor the Lord theway you eat your food, the way
(06:45):
you wash your hands, the way youcover your head, the way you
prepare a meal, the way you takethe Sabbath.
It is not we're Jewish becausewe don't acknowledge Jesus.
It is.
We are Jewish becauseeverything we do is in reverence
of God.
And so once I figured outthat's really what Judaism is,
once I figured out that's reallywhat Judaism is, I could marry
the two and say, okay, I canhave this as my past but bring
(07:10):
it into my future with Christ.
It still sometimes feels alittle tricky because not a
family pushback kind of on meaccepting Christ, but there are
some family members that won'tacknowledge that I'm still
(07:30):
Jewish, which is hard becauseyou're like, wait, I'm still a
part of this team with you, I'mstill a part of this club with
you.
I still kind of pledgeallegiance to this but also to
Christ, and so that has beenmessy.
When my husband and I first gotmarried, I think I went more the
(07:51):
Christ follower route because Ididn't know how to combine the
two.
We went to a church inWoodstock.
It was a lovely place where Itried to become a Proverbs 31
mother and learn my scriptureand raise my children right, but
I didn't feel like I belonged,like I was always kind of the
outsider.
Nobody made me feel that way,but me, if anything, everyone
(08:14):
was always really excited tohave a token Jew in church.
They're like we got one.
She's here.
This is amazing.
So when we went to that smallerchurch in Woodstock, I think, I
kind of put Judaism on a backburner because I couldn't figure
out how to marry the two.
And then, um, when I we went toour next church where we were
(08:35):
at for like 10 years, I was ableto experience more of Judaism.
There we did a bunch of Biblestudies that would celebrate all
the festivals that Jesus did.
I did one with Beth Moorespecifically.
That was all about the Feast ofTabernacles, which is in
Judaism that's a holiday ofSukkot, the Sukkah that you go
(08:56):
in, and it's thanking God forthe harvest, thanking God for
this new season of goodness.
And as I'm reading about whatJesus gets to do, I'm like I
grew up doing that.
I got to walk with Jesus beforeI even knew I was walking with
Jesus.
It was like my heart had beenprepared all of childhood by
(09:19):
getting to live these holidays,these events, these prayers that
were said by the Lord, thatwere lived by the Lord, and so
that's why I mean even we jokeabout oh, the Jews are the
chosen people.
In a way, I'm like I was chosento get to walk with Jesus
through the Old Testament, in away, because I got to experience
(09:39):
everything God got toexperience.
And so when we left that secondchurch, I felt the need to
examine my roots a little bitmore.
And there's always been a grieffor me that while my children,
yes, are Jewish, and I havetried to preserve as much as I
can for them, they don't havethe culture or community,
(10:01):
especially in our area.
It's just, you know, I can'tget good matzo ball soup around
here or a good lab sandwich.
I wouldn't know where to directyou yeah, Buffalo Grove,
Illinois, my friends, that iswhere you should be going for
all the good Jewish foods.
But I wanted them to experiencemore of that.
It's so much a part of theirroots and I didn't want that to
be lost.
So we started attending, whichwas really really neat and an
(10:25):
experience unlike anything I'veever done.
We went to a Messianicsynagogue, which is a synagogue
for Jewish believers.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Believers in Jesus.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Believers in Jesus.
Yes, believers in Jesus.
Or.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Believers in Jesus as
the son of God.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Exactly Not as a
prophet or as a, you know, just
a good man.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Just wanting to
clarify our terminology here,
that's very good.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
So we actually would
call ourselves completed Jews
because we started in the OldTestament, where most people of
Jewish faith stay, and we got todo the whole circle because we
end in Revelation.
So a lot of Jews who arebelievers in Christ will say
we're completed Jews becausewe've kind of made the whole
journey.
So it was a lot of completedJews because we've kind of made
the whole journey.
So it was a lot of completedJews or Jewish believers in
Christ.
And it was amazing because Igot to experience my childhood,
(11:18):
my roots, my upbringing, what Iloved growing up I loved
synagogue, I loved the prayers,I loved everything.
They were so calming, they wereso comforting.
I got to experience that withJesus and we attended there for
a year and it was amazing to getto be like, oh, I'm, I belong.
There are 11 other people inthe Chicago area that have the
same belief system.
But what was interesting was myhusband.
(11:42):
It was very eye-opening for myhusband, joel, because we had
been married about 15 years atthat point and for that 15 years
I had always been the Jewishbeliever who went to church and
now my husband was the Christianwho went to a messianic or a
synagogue for Jewish believersand I think it was in a way
(12:04):
shocking for him that he feltlike such a duck out of water
because he'd never experiencedit.
I mean, I would see him tryingto follow along, you know, and
do the prayers and do the things.
And finally at one point I said, babe, just sit down, I'll tell
you what to do next time.
You know, because it is, it'ssomething you grow up with and
you know, and my children got toexperience it, which was
amazing.
(12:25):
But I think it helped just inour marriage to understand.
I realized how much I'd beenfeeling like an outsider going
to that synagogue where myhusband then realized how much
he'd been an insider and thatwas a very eye-opening
experience.
And I think even in that I neverbefore attending that synagogue
(12:48):
I kind of never knew what tocall myself.
I never felt comfortablecalling myself a Christian, not
that it's a dirty word or it's abad word, it just wasn't how I
identified.
But I also didn't feel likesaying I was Jewish, honored the
journey I was on with Christ.
So I do like to now kind ofhaving the language and being
(13:08):
with this community for about ayear at the synagogue, I now
consider myself a Jewishbeliever.
And so when people say, whatare you?
Are you Christian, are youJewish?
And I'll say, oh, I'm a Jewishbeliever.
And so when people say, whatare you?
Are you Christian, are youJewish?
And I'll say, oh, I'm a Jewishbeliever, or I'm Jewish and I
believe in Christ, or I'mfaith-based in Christ, or
something like that, becauseit's kind of hard to figure out,
like not what team do I belongin, because we should all be
(13:32):
working together, but there doesfeel like sometimes a
differentiation in there.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You know one of the
things.
Well, let me just say beautiful, powerful.
Thanks for just opening yourstory, your journey with us,
candy.
I've sat down and heard some ofit.
I've sat down and heard some ofit.
It's just a story and a journeyso much different than my own
(14:01):
and I think it's just helpful tolisten to other people's
journey, you know.
I mean, in some ways that'swhat Joel experienced going
there.
It's like hold it, I'm withpeople who all had a different
journey and I don't fit in andwe often tend to assume
everyone's just like us.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
When you listen to
other people's stories, it's
just kind of humbling to go wow,there's a varied world out
there and the Holy Spirit'sworked in a whole lot of
different ways 100%, and I thinkthat's why I have such a heart
for either the unchurched or thepeople who don't feel they
belong in church, because I'mlike no, no, no, we all belong
here and you don't have to.
(14:38):
Of course, we all want tochange and be our best selves
for Christ, but I'm still Jewishyou know what I mean and so
that has been refreshing to feellike I don't have to give up
that piece of myself.
I don't feel that God iscalling me to give up that piece
of myself.
If anything, it makes myexperience even richer, and even
(14:59):
with working with the PATHstudents, I've been able to
bring up things to them likeanti-Semitism my favorite
subject my wildly twistedrelationship with Martin Luther.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yep, yep.
Well, we wanted to go there.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I was going to say
you've heard a lot about that
one.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, yep, yep, well,
we wanted to go there.
I was going to say you've hearda lot about that one.
Yeah, well, and let's let mefirst go.
Well, no, I'll come back to aphrase.
Well, let's go there.
Yeah, because you know, in theworld today, you know, we often
think, oh, we're past.
Certain things Tragically, wearen't, things Tragically, we
(15:42):
aren't.
And you just shared with me andI don't know if you're
comfortable sharing in thissetting you know, some of the
things that your kids have heardor experienced.
Are you comfortable?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
sharing that
Absolutely, I think.
Unfortunately, anti-semitism isalive and well, even more so
now than it was probably fiveyears ago and my children?
One reason I feel so empoweredto be openly Jewish is my
children need to know it isnever something to be ashamed of
(16:11):
, Because unfortunately, mymiddle schoolers have received a
lot of things via Snapchat,social media.
Heil Hitler, you should killyourself.
You should have been a part ofthe six million and, as a mom,
you're so in a way.
Being Jewish, growing up in avery Jewish area, I never
experienced that, and so it iswild to me.
(16:34):
But it also makes me think ofothers who have other races,
other religions, who've livedthat forever and my privilege in
I've only had to deal with thisfor the last couple of years,
you know, and it's like eventhis year.
I was at Aldi, my favoritestore, and they had blow up for
your yard dreidels and menorahsand I, of course, packed my cart
(16:56):
full of it.
I was like equal opportunity,santa's going to be blowing out
a menorah.
And as I was at the checkout,it was this year, it was this
past holiday.
I put it all back and I didn'teven feel comfortable having it
up in my yard and that was yeah,it was a really um jarring
feeling and you know, joel, I'malways miss emotional and so I
(17:18):
called Joel.
Really I know you would neverguess that You'd never, guess
that You'd never guess that,listeners, I am very even keeled
and never emotional.
I called Joel, you know, andsaid hey, am I being crazy by
putting these back, like, and hegoes no, I probably would have
told you it wasn't a great idea.
Just because we don't ever wanta broken window or something
written on our garage, and eventhough it might not happen, it's
(17:43):
never something I want mychildren to experience.
So sadly, I have to leave it atthe store, put it in a box, but
I won't do that when it comesto.
I might do that for my houseand for my holiday decorations,
yeah, but I will not do it aswho I am, as a person.
I actually just went to NewYork recently and my mom was,
like take off your chai.
(18:04):
Chai, my Hebrew name is Chaya,so I've always worn a chai and
it also means good luck andprosperity in Judaism.
And my mom said take it off,I'm worried about someone saying
or doing something.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And I said I'm not
taking it off.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Let them do or say
you know what I mean.
At a certain point I have to bebold as a Christ follower and
as a Jewish woman and draw aline.
And with Martin Luther it'sbeen a little bit of a journey.
A little bit of a journey Iknow.
You and I discussed last yearwhen I had to do the lesson for
(18:40):
my students on Martin Luther.
It was hard.
It was really hard to separatethe man and the monster, because
we all have that.
We all are a man and a monster.
We wouldn't need Christ if weweren't.
And it was very hard to know.
There were such amazingwritings that came from a man.
There were such amazing waysthat he championed the poor, he
(19:04):
tried to stop corruption in thechurch, but then there are
writings that are soanti-Semitic that were used by
the Nazi party as part of theirpropaganda.
And again, how do you marry andreconcile the two worlds?
I wish I had an answer.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, Well, I mean, I
think the only way you know, as
a Lutheran pastor to reconcilethat is to just say Luther was
wrong when he said this stuff.
He had, he, his, his, histhinking was twisted, he gave
over to the dark side, he fellinto sin.
(19:41):
Whatever you want to say, thatanti-Semitism that was
especially a part of his laterwritings we need to just
repudiate, which is what theLutheran Church has done, but we
need to continue to name and dothat so that we can claim the
goodness of the insight and thewisdom and the reclaiming of the
gospel, while also saying hedid that right and he did that
(20:05):
part utterly wrong 100%, and Ithink the reason I feel so
comfortable going to a Lutheranchurch, especially this Lutheran
church, is I think that'sexactly what you guys do.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
You guys say, hey,
there are some amazing works,
there are some amazing thingsMartin Luther did for the
kingdom of God, and then thereare things that were not
ordained by God, that weredarkness and number one.
For me it's a reminder nomatter how good I think I'm
doing or how deep myrelationship is with God, there
(20:37):
will always be hate in me that Ihave to surrender to Christ
every day or it will get thebest of me as well.
I will start hating a certaingroup, a certain people, and so
if I'm not willing to surrenderthat and there are some days
it's really hard to surrenderthat, especially if someone has
been driving poorly, took toolong in the drive-through.
(20:57):
There are reasons that I don'twant to give that up, but I also
.
It really made me when I had towrite that lesson about Luther.
One thing it made me do was getoff my moral high horse a
little bit and look at numberone where do I fall short
literally all the time?
(21:18):
I'm sure I like sinned walkinginto the room here.
Do I fall short literally allthe time.
I'm sure I like sinned walkinginto the room here, who knows
Like it's wild.
But also, every patriarch in theBible is horribly flawed.
They're either an adultererthey had more than one wife and
they lied, or they got drunk, orthey my favorite one is always
Moses.
He never listens, just like me.
He never listens.
(21:38):
He never listens Just like me,he never listens.
Every patriarch has thisjuxtaposition, which makes me
wonder, makes me curious, if wehave to have these flawed
leaders so that we can only lookto Christ.
If we didn't have men fallshort of the glory of God, what
would the glory of God be?
(21:58):
It would be cheap grace.
So Martin Luther to me is apainful reminder in some ways
that we are all flawed.
We all have hate in us that canget ugly, that can be the
opposite of what the Lord wantsfrom us, and most of our
(22:21):
founding fathers, patriarchs,all had flaws to them, and so we
keep the good and weacknowledge the bad and try and
learn from it.
And that's kind of.
I probably won't ever have likea Martin Luther statue at my
house.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
That's fine, that's
just fine.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
And the one here
broke.
It wasn't me.
It was an accident, but I amtrying to.
I think that the thing that I'mseeing all over, all over our
country social media,politically, religiously is we
villainize and make the otherperson not a human anymore, and
(23:03):
if I do that with Martin Luther,I am no better than anyone else
.
So I have tried to humanize himtoo, in my own way, and go okay
, you weren't a monster, youwere a man who gave way to hate,
gave way to sin, gave way todarkness.
I don't want to be that.
I want to be, you know, thegood, the God-ordained side, and
(23:26):
surrender the other side toJesus.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Powerful.
You know, as you were talking,all saying all of that Candy,
and so eloquently, by the way,so powerfully I just thought of
the classic phrase that MartinLuther said.
He goes that we are both saintand sinner at the same time, and
he is a brilliant example ofthat and you've put it out in
(23:51):
front of us and reminded us ofthat and it is true for all of
us.
We are both saint, redeemedsinner, by the blood of Christ,
by his grace, by God's grace andwhat Jesus accomplished on the
cross.
And we are still sinners.
We don't ever go to perfectionon this side of eternity and we
are all broken vessels.
And the importance ofconfession, of just continuing
(24:17):
to acknowledge our ownbrokenness, so that we don't get
on our high horses and judgeeveryone else for what they're
all doing wrong, because thenwe're all that log and spec
stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
I was just about to
quote it so you'd be impressed
with me, but you did it yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Well, you go say it,
you go say it.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Now I don't even
remember.
I got too nervous.
It's a log in my eye, I'mtaking the spec out of yours.
See, I screwed up.
No, you got.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
It Shouldn't be
teaching these middle schoolers.
You're exactly right, you knowthe other thing and sort of
coming to the end of our time.
One of the things I wanted tosay earlier that again is,
ironically, Candy, a part ofyour journey, which was part of
(25:00):
Luther's theology and all ofthis dynamic that we've been
talking about.
One of the things he oftentalked about a paradoxical
theology, and that it is bothand and that as human beings, we
often like to do either or andpart of what, to me, is so
powerful about your story is theboth and that you are saying
how I have fallen in love withJesus and who he is for me, and
(25:23):
I'm Jewish, and for so long youwere wrestling with I have to be
either, or, and what your heartwas telling you is no, I need
to be both and and.
To me, there is so much in lifethat, as human beings, we love
to create either ors, when Ithink God often puts weird
(25:43):
things together both, and heputs parts together that we hold
separate but that need to cometogether, and it's a beautiful
way that I just get to witnessyou putting that together in
your life.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Thank you, pastor
Kendall.
Actually, I was just on themission trip with the kids and I
have spent the last year kindof praying about.
I have a very bold personalityand sometimes, as women, we
think what we should be is whatwe've been told.
Proverbs 31, women are.
I should rise early with a songin my heart instead of being
like get up, get on the bus.
(26:17):
Instead of being like get up,get on the bus, your mother
loves you.
But even that, two things canexist.
I can be bold, I can be a womanof God, like the women in the
Bible that he asked to be boldwhile loving my family, while
being sacrificial, while beingthe mother, wife, friend, christ
follower God asked me to be.
(26:38):
But I think there's so manyplaces in our world where both
can exist.
I can be bold and I can besomeone not to be messed with.
You guys have already seen thatat staff meetings, I'm sure you
have, but I can also love and becompassionate and soft when God
calls me to, and so it's areally I love.
When you said both things canexist, because I think that is
(26:59):
my story 100% Both can and doLove it.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Candy, thanks so much
for being a part of this
episode of Unpacking Truths, andcome back again and submit your
questions, or, if you thinkthere are stories that should be
heard, let us know about thosetoo.
We love to share things that wethink can help unpack God's
truth for today.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Next time on
Unpacking Truths.
It was thought that when apriest right would pray over the
animal or whatever, the sins ofthe community would go into the
animal and then they wouldsacrifice it.
So all the primitive parts ofself, all the sins that everyone
had done in the community, diesright there with the animal and
so and then we get to start newright.
(27:44):
That's the forgiveness andclean slate.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
And that can be done
in two ways.
That can be done in anauthentic, heartbroken kind of
way, or it can be done in acavalier kind of way, like well,
I got to go through this, sothen I can keep doing.
You know the joke that I alwayssay with my Bible study the,
you know the, the cheesyChristianity.
You know, I I like to sin, godlikes to forgive, so it's a
great arrangement you know andand and that's what the
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sacrificial system had become.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Thanks for joining us
on this episode of unpacking
truths.
If anything that we discussedsparked any ideas or you have
any questions, we would love foryou to go to unpackingtruthscom
, or you can also email us atunpackingtruths at locchurchcom.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
And don't forget to
like, share or subscribe to the
podcast, because you doing thatallows other people to connect
to this content and grow withGod as well.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Until next time, we
hope you know that you are loved
.