August 7, 2024 • 25 mins
What happens when you step out of your comfort zone and embrace discomfort for the sake of growth? Tune into today's episode as I revisit my transformative journey to Costa Rica, where I faced my fears and pushed past self-doubt to facilitate a business coaching retreat (my first ever retreat)!!!
Tune in as as I share how these newfound connections and the act of embracing vulnerability led to significant personal and professional growth.
- Experience the raw, unfiltered moments of my journey as I reveal a deeply personal story of facing anxiety and panic on the eve of a major presentation.
- Discover how the powerful support from fellow retreat participants.
- This pivotal moment turned years of competition and judgment into nurturing and support, showcasing the immense impact women can have on each other’s lives.
Ready to join a future retreat? Mention this podcast episode in your retreat app and receive $200 OFF the Joshua Tree Retreat.
More details + application here: https://therememberingretreats.my.canva.site/joshuatree
Stay connected:
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Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kelseyburchett
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
you're listening to the unplugged goddess podcast, a
podcast where we can unplug andtalk about real life shit.
I'm your host, kelsey bruchette.
I am a spiritual life mentorand reiki practitioner and I am
here to have the realconversations with you that
everyone is thinking but no oneis talking about.
(00:27):
Join me every Wednesday to talkall things healing,
spirituality, self-love,entrepreneurship, empowerment,
relationships.
Basically, no topic is offlimits here.
Get ready for raw conversationsmeant to activate you, inspire
you, help you to grow and learnon your healing journey so that
(00:53):
you can tap into your next level.
So are you ready to unplug?
Goddess, hello, goddess, oh mygosh.
(01:16):
It feels so good to say thatI'm so excited to be here with
you all, to be back and to justallow episodes to flow whenever
they want to flow.
I feel like I've been in thisspace of needing to take some
time off and really needing toreflect on like what it is my
heart wants to say when do Iwant to take this podcast?
(01:36):
And really, what I keep comingback to and what I started this
podcast in the first place wasfor you all to just have a space
where you can unplug, where youdon't have to feel so alone,
where we just talk about thereal life shit that you know.
We don't have theseconversations, maybe we don't
(01:57):
have these conversations on aday-to-day basis, and that's
really what my heart is justhere to share in hopes to
inspire and hopes to maybe teachyou something, and I'm just
really excited to be here withyou all.
So today I wanted to talk toyou all about this time in my
(02:21):
business that I like to lookback on and just be so in awe of
where we are at today, and itties into retreats and why I am
so just passionate about youhaving this sort of experience,
(02:47):
because I have seen it play outin my life in ways that are just
so insanely incredible andmind-blowing, and just the
downloads and everything thatgets to come through when you're
in these spaces.
So I want to take you all back.
I want to take you back to astory today, and I hope that's
(03:11):
okay.
I hope we can just have amoment of humanness and a moment
where you go wow, like I'm notalone if I do feel this way in
certain settings or if I do feelthis way right now.
Right, like I'm not alone.
(03:31):
Everyone experiences this, andespecially experiences this when
you get out of your comfortzone.
In 2021, I was a guestfacilitator for a coaching
program.
It was a business coachingprogram and the coach at the
(03:53):
time asked me to go to herretreat that she was hosting in
Costa Rica.
And if I wanted to guestfacilitate and I remember this
moment so vividly of my firstthought being, like hell, no,
(04:14):
like I am not getting in frontof people.
I am not, you know, going toCosta Rica and speaking in front
of these groups of women who Iknow are amazing and who, like,
who am I to go to this retreatand speak in front of them.
It was a really big moment forme because I had this
(04:37):
realization of getting socomfortable online, behind a
camera, right Behind a camera,on Zoom, like I'm super outgoing
and I'm extroverted, becauseI'm in my own space, I'm in my
own bubble, and so I feelcomfortable.
And so the thought of gettingout of that space, going to
(04:59):
Costa Rica and speaking in frontof women in person, like I
can't mess up, I can't do this,like I have to like face they, I
have to face them.
It was bringing up so manyemotions, so many limiting
beliefs.
I had every thought under thesun of.
I'm not qualified enough, I'mnot good enough.
(05:19):
These women are going to judgeme.
Who am I to go and do this?
Like these women are going tojudge me, who am I to go and do
this?
Like all of these things, and Iwanted to say no.
I wanted to say you know whatthat sounds amazing Like.
I remember I was like thinkingup these scenarios in my head of
like what can I say?
To say no, but make it seemlike I'm busy, right.
(05:41):
Make it seem like something,there's something that I need to
do, and I really had to havethis moment with myself and be
like Kelsey, like you need to dothis.
Like I know that it's scary andI know that it's uncomfortable
and that's exactly why you needto do this.
And you preach this to yourclients and you preach this to
(06:02):
the women who you're currentlycoaching online, who are going
to be at this retreat right inperson.
Like you have to go and be theperson that you.
You have to go and embody whothe fuck you are and so flash
forward.
Right, we get to the retreat.
(06:23):
And most of these women I hadmet through the online space, so
I had seen their faces on Zoom.
There were a couple other womenwho I really did not know at
all and this was the first timemeeting them and I remember
walking into this villa that thehost rented out right, and I
(06:44):
remember just feeling so in aweand so just like overwhelmed by
what was actually happening andI had this thought.
I knew in that moment thatsomething was going to shift,
that something was going tochange.
The second that I walked intothat door and I remember
(07:06):
arriving and just we're likeembracing the women are
embracing, we're giving everyoneis giving each other a hug, and
I felt so safe and I never knewthat I could feel that safe in
front of strangers who Iliterally was just meeting for
(07:29):
the first time.
And it was just this instantlike wow, I am seen, I am loved,
and we were all so excited.
We were all so excited to bemeeting each other.
We were jumping up and down.
I remember some of us likejumped in the pool.
We were all so excited to bemeeting each other.
We were jumping up and down.
I remember some of us likejumped in the pool.
We were so, so, so excited.
(07:50):
And I believe I was presentingon the second or third night,
and so I think it was the thirdnight and so, like the first
night we had dinner, we had theopening ceremony.
The second day was filled withamazing, incredible workshops
with other amazing speakers, andthe whole time I'm sitting in
(08:12):
these workshops.
I'm having this impostersyndrome.
I'm having this oh my gosh,like their workshops better than
mine already right, like I'mthinking these thoughts and I'm
sitting in these workshopstrying to retain the information
, but I'm not feeling like Ishould be there.
I am feeling underqualified.
(08:32):
I am feeling like still just soin awe that I'm experiencing
this and literally being likehow am I going to do this
tomorrow night?
How am I about to present tothese women?
And so I, we, we had gone outto dinner that second night and
(08:55):
I've I've told this story before, but it's just it's maybe
you've heard it, maybe youremember it, but it's just it's
so funny and it's just such apivotal moment.
So we go to dinner and, as we'regoing to dinner, I'm kind of
experiencing like a little bitof panic, because it's kind of
setting in like, oh my God, likethe next day I'm supposed to
(09:17):
present, like what the heck am Igoing to do and how is this
going to turn out.
And you know, I rememberwalking to dinner and I'm just
feeling so anxious and I'mfeeling just to the point where
I am starting to feel verynauseous and very sick.
And I'm trying not to make itobvious, I'm trying to have a
(09:41):
good time and this was really apivotal moment for me because
I'm able to take those momentsthat I was feeling in that space
.
And I look back now and I gowhy didn't I just open up, like
why didn't I just tell peoplethat I was nervous or that I was
(10:02):
, you know, feeling this way?
It was a safe space and Irealized that it was because I
had that deep sisterhood woundthat comes up for almost all of
us as women.
Right, we experience thissisterhood wound of women
(10:22):
feeling like they're judging you, of always needing to be in
competition, maybe not even, youknow, wanting to show emotions
because of the fear that we'retoo much, and so I was feeling
all of these things, but Icouldn't really pinpoint it
right.
I'm just in this moment and Iknow I'm anxious and I know I'm
(10:44):
panicking because of presentingthe next day right, and feeling
like I'm underqualified, feelinglike these women are going to
compare me to all these otherworkshops and it's just not
going to be good.
And so I'm thinking of all ofthese things and not really
putting it together but justbeing like, ok, now I'm just
(11:05):
very sick and I'm anxious andI'm nauseous.
And I'm not telling anyonethese things because then, you
know, I'm supposed to be thecoach here.
Their point of view, theirperspective of me has been this
confident woman on Zoom andspeaking to them and feeling
(11:30):
really confident because I wasin my own little space, my own
little, you know, my own nook ofsecurity.
And now I'm like real life,face to face with these women,
and I'm freaking the fuck out.
So we're at dinner and againI'm feeling sick, I'm feeling
nauseous, I go, I need to go tothe bathroom.
(11:52):
And so one of the other ladieswas like I will come with you.
Morgan.
Shout out Again.
I know I've told this storybefore.
I can't remember if it's beenon the podcast, where it's been,
but Morgan, who was one of thewomen who was at the retreat,
who has been on my podcast,who's later guest facilitated
(12:12):
one of my retreats in Costa Rica, she goes to the bathroom with
me and she's about to go inbecause I was like, yeah, go,
you go first.
And it's one bathroom.
She's about to go in.
I push her out of the waybecause I have to go, like I
didn't even know that this wasgoing to happen.
I push her out of the way, Ithrow up vomit into the toilet
(12:34):
with the door wide open.
She's like standing there likewhat the heck just happened.
She's so sweet.
She's like trying to hold myhair.
She's like, oh my gosh, are youokay?
And I remember, in that moment,feeling such embarrassment but
also, at the same time, feelingthis overwhelming amount of love
(13:01):
from other women that I hadnever experienced before.
I was having these flashbacks.
I remember in that moment I washaving these flashbacks to what
that would have looked like ifI was in high school or middle
school.
Right, and it makes meemotional.
I'm getting emotional because Ireally never thought that women
(13:32):
friendships like this werepossible.
I never knew how feeling seen,how feeling loved and supported
by other women could change yourlife, and I didn't think it was
possible, growing up, wantingso badly to be seen, wanting so
(13:54):
badly to fit in, and that littleinner child is just sitting
there in that moment felt soloved, and it was just an
incredible feeling and it soundsit's such a silly moment, right
(14:16):
, it's such a oh my gosh.
I threw up in the bathroom andthis girl that I just met two
days ago is like pulling me outof this crazy panic attack
without even knowing it, justfrom being so nurturing, from
being just so nonjudgmental, andthe other woman there as well
(14:39):
were just I remember I came backand we were just we're kind of
laughing, right.
We're just kind of like oh mygosh, like this just happened
and all of these women were justso supportive.
So just like, oh my gosh, youknow, do you need anything, are
you okay?
Like no one was, like no energyof oh my gosh, I'm going to get
(15:01):
back and these women are goingto talk about how I threw up the
rest of the night, like allthese things.
Not for a second did I thinkthat, because I knew that that
wasn't going to happen.
That energy wasn't there, thatmean girl energy that I feel
like we grow up thinking andhave experienced.
Right, it was nowhere to befound or seen at this retreat.
(15:24):
I had nothing to worry aboutand it was so refreshing.
And that night I was like thisis it?
It was a turning point for me.
I said this is it.
This is what other women needto experience.
(15:44):
Because if I feel this way, ifI feel like my whole life I had
grown up thinking that womenwere mean, that women were in
competition with each other,that women, you know, we aren't
meant to be like there for eachother, and I spent my whole life
(16:08):
thinking that.
And then to come to thisretreat and to be in a space
where women were supportive,where women were lighting you up
, where women believed in youmore than you believed in
yourself, I was like this isincredible, like this is what is
going to change the vibrationof this planet, and I do not say
(16:30):
that lightly Like I trulybelieve that when we, as women,
get together, we get to changethe fucking world, like it's as
simple as that, like we get tochange the fucking world.
And so and it wouldn't havehappened if I would have
listened to my first initialreaction of no, that's outside
(16:54):
of my comfort zone, of heck, no,I am not getting into a space
with other women, with strangers.
There's no way that I'm goingto meet women and feel connected
with them in a matter of a dayor in a matter of three days,
four days, and it happened likethat.
(17:14):
And that is the power ofgetting in spaces with other
women who see you, who are doingthe same thing as you, who
vibrate on the same frequency,on the same level as you, same
frequency, on the same level asyou.
It is absolutely insane andit'll take you to that next
level and it could be thatmissing piece of you getting to
(17:41):
that next level.
I truly believe that, because Ileft that retreat a completely
different person, left thatretreat a completely different
person.
So we flash forward to the nightof me doing the damn thing, me
doing the presentation, andagain I'm so nervous beforehand
I'm like, okay, I remember I hadthis whole pep talk with myself
(18:05):
.
I did some mirror work beforeit and I was just telling myself
like you have fucking got this,like I was telling little me
that I got this, that there'snothing to be ashamed of, that
there's nothing to be worriedabout, that I am who the fuck I
am, and these women want to hearwhat I have to say.
(18:25):
They need to hear what I haveto say.
The workshop went absolutelyincredible and I remember
afterwards one of the women cameup to me and she said, remember
I started off that workshop, Igo, I'm really nervous, I'm
really nervous.
And I remember the one of thewomen came up to me afterwards
(18:47):
and she was like I could noteven tell you were nervous, like
you are bored to do this, likewhat are you talking about?
Like you were so confident upthere and you know you were all
of these things.
And it brought me to tearsbecause in that moment I go wow,
sometimes we just need otherpeople to see it in us.
(19:12):
What we already know is within,and I feel like that's the
power of these retreats issometimes we know we have it in
us, but we need these outsideparties to truly see it in us as
well and to tell us that that'swhat they see in us and that is
the power of sisterhood.
(19:34):
You guys, I have met from thatretreat.
I met my soul sister, emily,who you guys I'm sure know and
love right, we've done podcastepisodes, we've hosted our very
first retreat together and itwas from just meeting at a
retreat.
Like the possibilities areendless.
(19:56):
I have so many amazingconnections that I still talk to
you from this retreat.
We have a whole group chat, oneof the Morgan, morgan who was
there with me to hold my hair asI was throwing up, is literally
officiating my wedding nextyear.
(20:17):
She's officiating my weddingall from us just meeting at a
retreat.
And so when I tell you thatthere really is nothing like
connections that you will makeat a retreat, I truly, deeply,
thousand percent, believe thatand have witnessed it and have
(20:41):
experienced it firsthand, andit's unlike any other connection
or relationship that you willever experience.
It is the most supportive, itis the most genuine, it is the I
see you, I hear you, type offriendship.
You know, before that retreat, Ialways had an idea that I
(21:04):
wanted to host retreats, and Iremember, in 2017, after I
finished my yoga certification,I made this mock-up retreat and
I was like one day I'm going tohost retreats.
And I remember, in 2017, afterI finished my yoga certification
, I made this mock-up retreatand I was like, one day I'm
going to host retreats, and thatwas all the way back in 2017.
And so 2021, when I was at thisretreat, I kind of like not
forgot, but I was like it wasalways just that thing where it
(21:26):
was like, yeah, one day, like Idon't know how, but maybe one
day thing where it was like,yeah, one day like I don't know
how, but maybe one day and assoon as I had attended that
retreat, I knew in my soul thatI had to host retreats.
And so 2022, emily and I decideto host our retreat together,
(21:46):
our very first retreat together.
And I look back at that momentin time and I just wish I could
pause and I wish I could justcelebrate that girl more for
just doing the thing that sheknew in her soul was meant to
(22:08):
happen and just going for it.
And so, if you're listening tothis and maybe you have
something on your heart maybeit's that uncomfortable thing,
but, like some somewhere deepdown, you know you're supposed
to pursue it, you know you'resupposed to be at that thing or
go travel to that place, or, youknow, attend that event or that
(22:34):
retreat.
I just invite you to follow it.
I just invite you to take amoment to really just let
yourself go there, to just letyourself expand, to just go into
this space without anyexpectations and to just
(22:59):
surrender to what is on yourheart, because what is on your
heart is what is going to leadyou to magical places.
And so flash forward to.
We are on our fourth retreat now, you guys, which is insane,
it's incredible, it's soexciting.
(23:21):
We are hosting it in JoshuaTree this year.
It's November 1st through the4th and we still have some spots
available, so make sure youcheck out the show notes of this
episode.
I will also leave a speciallittle discount code so that I
(23:42):
know you came from the podcastand, yeah, all the details will
be linked there.
I'm so excited.
Joshua Tree is such a vortex ofenergy.
It is just, it's insane, it'sincredible.
It's a place for you to reallyexpand if you've gone through
some healing work.
(24:02):
It's a place for you to get ina space with all of your sisters
to expand and to grow and tolaugh and cry and all of the
things together in community.
So thank you all so much forlistening.
I hope you have enjoyed today'slittle storytime episode.
(24:23):
I hope that you always followwhat is on your heart and I will
talk to you all in the nextepisode.
Bye guys, thank you, thank you.
you're listening to the unplugged goddess podcast, a
podcast where we can unplug andtalk about real life shit.
I'm your host, kelsey bruchette.
I am a spiritual life mentorand reiki practitioner and I am
here to have the realconversations with you that
everyone is thinking but no oneis talking about.
(00:27):
Join me every Wednesday to talkall things healing,
spirituality, self-love,entrepreneurship, empowerment,
relationships.
Basically, no topic is offlimits here.
Get ready for raw conversationsmeant to activate you, inspire
you, help you to grow and learnon your healing journey so that
(00:53):
you can tap into your next level.
So are you ready to unplug?
Goddess, hello, goddess, oh mygosh.
(01:16):
It feels so good to say thatI'm so excited to be here with
you all, to be back and to justallow episodes to flow whenever
they want to flow.
I feel like I've been in thisspace of needing to take some
time off and really needing toreflect on like what it is my
heart wants to say when do Iwant to take this podcast?
(01:36):
And really, what I keep comingback to and what I started this
podcast in the first place wasfor you all to just have a space
where you can unplug, where youdon't have to feel so alone,
where we just talk about thereal life shit that you know.
We don't have theseconversations, maybe we don't
(01:57):
have these conversations on aday-to-day basis, and that's
really what my heart is justhere to share in hopes to
inspire and hopes to maybe teachyou something, and I'm just
really excited to be here withyou all.
So today I wanted to talk toyou all about this time in my
(02:21):
business that I like to lookback on and just be so in awe of
where we are at today, and itties into retreats and why I am
so just passionate about youhaving this sort of experience,
(02:47):
because I have seen it play outin my life in ways that are just
so insanely incredible andmind-blowing, and just the
downloads and everything thatgets to come through when you're
in these spaces.
So I want to take you all back.
I want to take you back to astory today, and I hope that's
(03:11):
okay.
I hope we can just have amoment of humanness and a moment
where you go wow, like I'm notalone if I do feel this way in
certain settings or if I do feelthis way right now.
Right, like I'm not alone.
(03:31):
Everyone experiences this, andespecially experiences this when
you get out of your comfortzone.
In 2021, I was a guestfacilitator for a coaching
program.
It was a business coachingprogram and the coach at the
(03:53):
time asked me to go to herretreat that she was hosting in
Costa Rica.
And if I wanted to guestfacilitate and I remember this
moment so vividly of my firstthought being, like hell, no,
(04:14):
like I am not getting in frontof people.
I am not, you know, going toCosta Rica and speaking in front
of these groups of women who Iknow are amazing and who, like,
who am I to go to this retreatand speak in front of them.
It was a really big moment forme because I had this
(04:37):
realization of getting socomfortable online, behind a
camera, right Behind a camera,on Zoom, like I'm super outgoing
and I'm extroverted, becauseI'm in my own space, I'm in my
own bubble, and so I feelcomfortable.
And so the thought of gettingout of that space, going to
(04:59):
Costa Rica and speaking in frontof women in person, like I
can't mess up, I can't do this,like I have to like face they, I
have to face them.
It was bringing up so manyemotions, so many limiting
beliefs.
I had every thought under thesun of.
I'm not qualified enough, I'mnot good enough.
(05:19):
These women are going to judgeme.
Who am I to go and do this?
Like these women are going tojudge me, who am I to go and do
this?
Like all of these things, and Iwanted to say no.
I wanted to say you know whatthat sounds amazing Like.
I remember I was like thinkingup these scenarios in my head of
like what can I say?
To say no, but make it seemlike I'm busy, right.
(05:41):
Make it seem like something,there's something that I need to
do, and I really had to havethis moment with myself and be
like Kelsey, like you need to dothis.
Like I know that it's scary andI know that it's uncomfortable
and that's exactly why you needto do this.
And you preach this to yourclients and you preach this to
(06:02):
the women who you're currentlycoaching online, who are going
to be at this retreat right inperson.
Like you have to go and be theperson that you.
You have to go and embody whothe fuck you are and so flash
forward.
Right, we get to the retreat.
(06:23):
And most of these women I hadmet through the online space, so
I had seen their faces on Zoom.
There were a couple other womenwho I really did not know at
all and this was the first timemeeting them and I remember
walking into this villa that thehost rented out right, and I
(06:44):
remember just feeling so in aweand so just like overwhelmed by
what was actually happening andI had this thought.
I knew in that moment thatsomething was going to shift,
that something was going tochange.
The second that I walked intothat door and I remember
(07:06):
arriving and just we're likeembracing the women are
embracing, we're giving everyoneis giving each other a hug, and
I felt so safe and I never knewthat I could feel that safe in
front of strangers who Iliterally was just meeting for
(07:29):
the first time.
And it was just this instantlike wow, I am seen, I am loved,
and we were all so excited.
We were all so excited to bemeeting each other.
We were jumping up and down.
I remember some of us likejumped in the pool.
We were all so excited to bemeeting each other.
We were jumping up and down.
I remember some of us likejumped in the pool.
We were so, so, so excited.
(07:50):
And I believe I was presentingon the second or third night,
and so I think it was the thirdnight and so, like the first
night we had dinner, we had theopening ceremony.
The second day was filled withamazing, incredible workshops
with other amazing speakers, andthe whole time I'm sitting in
(08:12):
these workshops.
I'm having this impostersyndrome.
I'm having this oh my gosh,like their workshops better than
mine already right, like I'mthinking these thoughts and I'm
sitting in these workshopstrying to retain the information
, but I'm not feeling like Ishould be there.
I am feeling underqualified.
(08:32):
I am feeling like still just soin awe that I'm experiencing
this and literally being likehow am I going to do this
tomorrow night?
How am I about to present tothese women?
And so I, we, we had gone outto dinner that second night and
(08:55):
I've I've told this story before, but it's just it's maybe
you've heard it, maybe youremember it, but it's just it's
so funny and it's just such apivotal moment.
So we go to dinner and, as we'regoing to dinner, I'm kind of
experiencing like a little bitof panic, because it's kind of
setting in like, oh my God, likethe next day I'm supposed to
(09:17):
present, like what the heck am Igoing to do and how is this
going to turn out.
And you know, I rememberwalking to dinner and I'm just
feeling so anxious and I'mfeeling just to the point where
I am starting to feel verynauseous and very sick.
And I'm trying not to make itobvious, I'm trying to have a
(09:41):
good time and this was really apivotal moment for me because
I'm able to take those momentsthat I was feeling in that space
.
And I look back now and I gowhy didn't I just open up, like
why didn't I just tell peoplethat I was nervous or that I was
(10:02):
, you know, feeling this way?
It was a safe space and Irealized that it was because I
had that deep sisterhood woundthat comes up for almost all of
us as women.
Right, we experience thissisterhood wound of women
(10:22):
feeling like they're judging you, of always needing to be in
competition, maybe not even, youknow, wanting to show emotions
because of the fear that we'retoo much, and so I was feeling
all of these things, but Icouldn't really pinpoint it
right.
I'm just in this moment and Iknow I'm anxious and I know I'm
(10:44):
panicking because of presentingthe next day right, and feeling
like I'm underqualified, feelinglike these women are going to
compare me to all these otherworkshops and it's just not
going to be good.
And so I'm thinking of all ofthese things and not really
putting it together but justbeing like, ok, now I'm just
(11:05):
very sick and I'm anxious andI'm nauseous.
And I'm not telling anyonethese things because then, you
know, I'm supposed to be thecoach here.
Their point of view, theirperspective of me has been this
confident woman on Zoom andspeaking to them and feeling
(11:30):
really confident because I wasin my own little space, my own
little, you know, my own nook ofsecurity.
And now I'm like real life,face to face with these women,
and I'm freaking the fuck out.
So we're at dinner and againI'm feeling sick, I'm feeling
nauseous, I go, I need to go tothe bathroom.
(11:52):
And so one of the other ladieswas like I will come with you.
Morgan.
Shout out Again.
I know I've told this storybefore.
I can't remember if it's beenon the podcast, where it's been,
but Morgan, who was one of thewomen who was at the retreat,
who has been on my podcast,who's later guest facilitated
(12:12):
one of my retreats in Costa Rica, she goes to the bathroom with
me and she's about to go inbecause I was like, yeah, go,
you go first.
And it's one bathroom.
She's about to go in.
I push her out of the waybecause I have to go, like I
didn't even know that this wasgoing to happen.
I push her out of the way, Ithrow up vomit into the toilet
(12:34):
with the door wide open.
She's like standing there likewhat the heck just happened.
She's so sweet.
She's like trying to hold myhair.
She's like, oh my gosh, are youokay?
And I remember, in that moment,feeling such embarrassment but
also, at the same time, feelingthis overwhelming amount of love
(13:01):
from other women that I hadnever experienced before.
I was having these flashbacks.
I remember in that moment I washaving these flashbacks to what
that would have looked like ifI was in high school or middle
school.
Right, and it makes meemotional.
I'm getting emotional because Ireally never thought that women
(13:32):
friendships like this werepossible.
I never knew how feeling seen,how feeling loved and supported
by other women could change yourlife, and I didn't think it was
possible, growing up, wantingso badly to be seen, wanting so
(13:54):
badly to fit in, and that littleinner child is just sitting
there in that moment felt soloved, and it was just an
incredible feeling and it soundsit's such a silly moment, right
(14:16):
, it's such a oh my gosh.
I threw up in the bathroom andthis girl that I just met two
days ago is like pulling me outof this crazy panic attack
without even knowing it, justfrom being so nurturing, from
being just so nonjudgmental, andthe other woman there as well
(14:39):
were just I remember I came backand we were just we're kind of
laughing, right.
We're just kind of like oh mygosh, like this just happened
and all of these women were justso supportive.
So just like, oh my gosh, youknow, do you need anything, are
you okay?
Like no one was, like no energyof oh my gosh, I'm going to get
(15:01):
back and these women are goingto talk about how I threw up the
rest of the night, like allthese things.
Not for a second did I thinkthat, because I knew that that
wasn't going to happen.
That energy wasn't there, thatmean girl energy that I feel
like we grow up thinking andhave experienced.
Right, it was nowhere to befound or seen at this retreat.
(15:24):
I had nothing to worry aboutand it was so refreshing.
And that night I was like thisis it?
It was a turning point for me.
I said this is it.
This is what other women needto experience.
(15:44):
Because if I feel this way, ifI feel like my whole life I had
grown up thinking that womenwere mean, that women were in
competition with each other,that women, you know, we aren't
meant to be like there for eachother, and I spent my whole life
(16:08):
thinking that.
And then to come to thisretreat and to be in a space
where women were supportive,where women were lighting you up
, where women believed in youmore than you believed in
yourself, I was like this isincredible, like this is what is
going to change the vibrationof this planet, and I do not say
(16:30):
that lightly Like I trulybelieve that when we, as women,
get together, we get to changethe fucking world, like it's as
simple as that, like we get tochange the fucking world.
And so and it wouldn't havehappened if I would have
listened to my first initialreaction of no, that's outside
(16:54):
of my comfort zone, of heck, no,I am not getting into a space
with other women, with strangers.
There's no way that I'm goingto meet women and feel connected
with them in a matter of a dayor in a matter of three days,
four days, and it happened likethat.
(17:14):
And that is the power ofgetting in spaces with other
women who see you, who are doingthe same thing as you, who
vibrate on the same frequency,on the same level as you, same
frequency, on the same level asyou.
It is absolutely insane andit'll take you to that next
level and it could be thatmissing piece of you getting to
(17:41):
that next level.
I truly believe that, because Ileft that retreat a completely
different person, left thatretreat a completely different
person.
So we flash forward to the nightof me doing the damn thing, me
doing the presentation, andagain I'm so nervous beforehand
I'm like, okay, I remember I hadthis whole pep talk with myself
(18:05):
.
I did some mirror work beforeit and I was just telling myself
like you have fucking got this,like I was telling little me
that I got this, that there'snothing to be ashamed of, that
there's nothing to be worriedabout, that I am who the fuck I
am, and these women want to hearwhat I have to say.
(18:25):
They need to hear what I haveto say.
The workshop went absolutelyincredible and I remember
afterwards one of the women cameup to me and she said, remember
I started off that workshop, Igo, I'm really nervous, I'm
really nervous.
And I remember the one of thewomen came up to me afterwards
(18:47):
and she was like I could noteven tell you were nervous, like
you are bored to do this, likewhat are you talking about?
Like you were so confident upthere and you know you were all
of these things.
And it brought me to tearsbecause in that moment I go wow,
sometimes we just need otherpeople to see it in us.
(19:12):
What we already know is within,and I feel like that's the
power of these retreats issometimes we know we have it in
us, but we need these outsideparties to truly see it in us as
well and to tell us that that'swhat they see in us and that is
the power of sisterhood.
(19:34):
You guys, I have met from thatretreat.
I met my soul sister, emily,who you guys I'm sure know and
love right, we've done podcastepisodes, we've hosted our very
first retreat together and itwas from just meeting at a
retreat.
Like the possibilities areendless.
(19:56):
I have so many amazingconnections that I still talk to
you from this retreat.
We have a whole group chat, oneof the Morgan, morgan who was
there with me to hold my hair asI was throwing up, is literally
officiating my wedding nextyear.
(20:17):
She's officiating my weddingall from us just meeting at a
retreat.
And so when I tell you thatthere really is nothing like
connections that you will makeat a retreat, I truly, deeply,
thousand percent, believe thatand have witnessed it and have
(20:41):
experienced it firsthand, andit's unlike any other connection
or relationship that you willever experience.
It is the most supportive, itis the most genuine, it is the I
see you, I hear you, type offriendship.
You know, before that retreat, Ialways had an idea that I
(21:04):
wanted to host retreats, and Iremember, in 2017, after I
finished my yoga certification,I made this mock-up retreat and
I was like one day I'm going tohost retreats.
And I remember, in 2017, afterI finished my yoga certification
, I made this mock-up retreatand I was like, one day I'm
going to host retreats, and thatwas all the way back in 2017.
And so 2021, when I was at thisretreat, I kind of like not
forgot, but I was like it wasalways just that thing where it
(21:26):
was like, yeah, one day, like Idon't know how, but maybe one
day thing where it was like,yeah, one day like I don't know
how, but maybe one day and assoon as I had attended that
retreat, I knew in my soul thatI had to host retreats.
And so 2022, emily and I decideto host our retreat together,
(21:46):
our very first retreat together.
And I look back at that momentin time and I just wish I could
pause and I wish I could justcelebrate that girl more for
just doing the thing that sheknew in her soul was meant to
(22:08):
happen and just going for it.
And so, if you're listening tothis and maybe you have
something on your heart maybeit's that uncomfortable thing,
but, like some somewhere deepdown, you know you're supposed
to pursue it, you know you'resupposed to be at that thing or
go travel to that place, or, youknow, attend that event or that
(22:34):
retreat.
I just invite you to follow it.
I just invite you to take amoment to really just let
yourself go there, to just letyourself expand, to just go into
this space without anyexpectations and to just
(22:59):
surrender to what is on yourheart, because what is on your
heart is what is going to leadyou to magical places.
And so flash forward to.
We are on our fourth retreat now, you guys, which is insane,
it's incredible, it's soexciting.
(23:21):
We are hosting it in JoshuaTree this year.
It's November 1st through the4th and we still have some spots
available, so make sure youcheck out the show notes of this
episode.
I will also leave a speciallittle discount code so that I
(23:42):
know you came from the podcastand, yeah, all the details will
be linked there.
I'm so excited.
Joshua Tree is such a vortex ofenergy.
It is just, it's insane, it'sincredible.
It's a place for you to reallyexpand if you've gone through
some healing work.
(24:02):
It's a place for you to get ina space with all of your sisters
to expand and to grow and tolaugh and cry and all of the
things together in community.
So thank you all so much forlistening.
I hope you have enjoyed today'slittle storytime episode.
(24:23):
I hope that you always followwhat is on your heart and I will
talk to you all in the nextepisode.
Bye guys, thank you, thank you.
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