February 29, 2024 • 32 mins
Jonathan reminds us that community is the lifeline of sobriety. Staying connected means more than just a phone call or a shared coffee—it's about remembering the early battles and using that recollection as armor against complacency. Join us to uncover how your own story of recovery can unfold, inspired by the power of transformation and the strength of community.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome back to Unpolished Recovery.
My name is Trey.
Most stories of recovery startwith how bad addiction was, how
they entered recovery and howgreat life is now.
That's a polished story.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
My name is Chris.
I'm your co-host of UnpolishedRecovery.
Today's guest is named Jonathan.
He's a graduate of a programAlumni continues to live on site
, get back to the program invarious ways.
I 'd actually heard somethingsomeone else had said earlier
this week about addiction is theonly disease that we know of
(00:38):
that an individual can go intorecovery and actually become a
better version of self than whenthey first were, when they were
still in the in the.
In the act of addiction Likeother diseases, like cancer and
things when people go intotreatment, their goal is just to
get back to where they wereprior to.
You know the treatment.
(01:00):
The addiction is the only one.
With recovery that person canactually be a better version of
themselves, and I thought ofJonathan when I heard that,
because I knew we were going totalk to him today on the podcast
, because I do believe that he'she's the best version himself
today, but I think he has just aton of potential to do so much
(01:23):
more.
Maybe he doesn't even realizeyet how much he can do, but so,
jonathan, do you want to justkind of tell us a little bit
about where you're at today,like what, some of the things
you're doing to stay clean.
What's some of your likes?
What?
What do you do?
What is your passion like?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
So what I do to stay clean, I still work my program,
go through the steps of mysponsor.
I work with my sponsors.
I have four of.
I do a meeting at the house onWednesday nights.
It's a big book study.
And what I like to do, I mean Ilike to play video games, to be
honest.
Yeah, that's about it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well, I've kind of see, I've had the benefit of
seeing, just like, the changesin you.
I met you when you wereincarcerated at the county jail
here, I think.
Did you attend you attend acouple classes?
Yeah, yeah, and I knew you hadthe desire to do something
different.
You're just one of those guysthat you know you're real sharp,
you pick up on stuff quick.
(02:22):
You you've always been able tosee the big message.
Not just you know, just youknow the one statement.
But you know, but I knew youhad the desire, but you know you
were trying to figure out, well, how do I execute this?
And you know, I remember youwere on it, you were trying to
get in the program and youdidn't have to be right, this
(02:43):
was not mandated, this issomething you chose.
What come into that process?
Like when did you decide, hey,I gotta do something, this is my
best course of action?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay.
So leading up to beingincarcerated, I was staying, you
know, hotel to hotel, sometimes, you know, outside in tents and
stuff.
So I knew when I went to jailthat if I came out and went back
to what I was doing, that I wasgonna be, you know, homeless
and probably strung out on drugsagain with nowhere to go.
So, like you said, I knew Iwanted to do something different
, but I didn't have the tools totry to build, you know, build
(03:17):
anything up or get back on myfeet.
And whenever I talked to MrVargas and I talked to you, I
just saw that I had a chance at,you know, trying to rebuild my
life and actually having a happy, successful life, sober.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, because and I know, like I said, when you come
in, you've never been a lot oftrouble.
You know, I think it was anadjustment at first because this
was a new way of life, but Ireally believe in correct me if
I'm wrong.
You know, it seemed like afterthat first 30 days you kind of
found your groove and you reallypoured yourself into the whole
(03:50):
recovery process meeting sponsorstuff like that.
Have you found enjoyment inthat stuff?
Is it?
Has it become more than juststaying clean now?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, you know you couldn't have told me when I was
incarcerated or when I firstgot here that I would ever want
to work with other people youknow, or help anybody.
I just didn't.
It was like the furthest thingfrom my mind.
It seemed crazy to me.
But now that's.
One of my favorite things to dois to work with my sponsors and
to get to see like the lightcome on for them and see that I
watched them go through the sameparts of the program I went
(04:23):
through and struggles early onand then to see them find that
inner peace.
It just it's something thatreally keeps me going.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Well, you know, we all know that's worked a program
, that's attraction rather thanpromotion.
And I know firsthand like I getnew guys in and within a few
days they're like hey, canJonathan sponsor me?
You know, and I'm like and thenthat's what calls that.
They see someone working aprogram, they see something they
(04:50):
want.
You know, and I hope you takepride in that that's.
That just happens, naturally.
And you're working a programand I think you've become more
intense about it since yougraduate.
How long ago did you graduate?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I graduated in June last year.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I can't believe it's been that long.
It's went fast.
Yeah, it has.
When you're working on yourselfand building things, it does go
by fast and I know you've hadcertain goals and you've been
working on them.
What's some of your dreams now?
Like, like, moving forward,like what some of those things
now that you've got somestability in a foundation?
(05:28):
I know we've talked aboutfurther in your education but
like, where are you at there,like what some of the things
that you're interested in doingmoving forward?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
So I want to.
Obviously I want to establishmy credit score and get a good
credit score, become a homeownerat some point in the not too
distant future.
I really would like to work inrecovery.
It's not something that I everthought I would want to do, but
it's.
You know, it's something that'smade such a drastic difference
in my life and I've also seenthe other side of it since I've
(05:58):
been here.
You know people that didn'tmake it through the program or
that chose to go back out, thatare in prison now, or some of
them didn't make it back.
So I just see the importance ofit and to think that some
people don't get that chance oropportunity because they don't
know that there is a solutionout there, something about that
just doesn't sit well with me.
So I'd like to try to, you know, open that door for as many
(06:20):
people as you know or lookingfor help.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
You got to give it a way to keep it.
I think there's very few truerstatements in recovery.
Do you mind me asking, like howlong have you got cleaning
sober now as of today?
I have 14 months, 14 months,you're probably you're
approaching that threshold whereyou can probably look at being
a CPRS.
You know, and I know you know,when that time comes we'll
(06:46):
definitely be willing.
Pasadena's big on people wannawork and get those
certifications, so I think thatwould be an excellent choice for
you.
You just connect with guysreally well, and has there been?
What about the difficult times,like going through the program
the first six months?
Did you ever have those momentsyou doubted yourself or started
(07:09):
having thoughts well, maybe Ishould have a different plan.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Or I mean.
So I'm not gonna say theperson's name, but my first
roommate that left, which weboth knew him.
When he left and he, you know,made his little plan to leave.
I was so close to leaving withhim and when I didn't, and then
seeing the path that he traveleddown it just it really
reinforced the thought in myhead that I was doing the right
(07:33):
thing, that I was at the rightplace.
It's just crazy to see, youknow, what one decision can do
for your life, how drasticallyit can change it, whether it's
for the good or the bad.
And so I guess that's just kindof when it clicked for me was
seeing other people, you know,just decided to go back out and
relapse and stuff Just reallyhad an effect on me.
(07:55):
It honestly it takes a lot outof you because you, like you,
build a bond with people and youstart to really care about them
and then to see them do that itkind of hurts.
You blame yourself a little bit, I think so.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, I'm with you there, Cause that's one thing
that's helped me stay inconnected, working in recovery.
I don't wish failure on anyone,but I'm very open about this.
If it, I can't go back, and ifit's gotta be one of us, you
know and you want that, I'llgive it to you, you know.
But it did help me seeing that,because I see myself in
(08:29):
everybody that walks through thedoor.
I might not know them or theirstory, but there's a piece there
that, oh, that was me at onetime and it's a constant
reminder, like you said, thatI'm one bad decision away from
being right back where I startedfrom.
So I relate to that.
Did you have any questions,troy?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I'm curious now that you've I think something
interesting about recovery islike once you find yourself
succeeding in recovery, you allof a sudden are helping other
people very quickly.
I think that's very unique torecovery and I'm curious what
are some?
What are some areas that you'vefound now that you're as much,
(09:10):
that you're so actively helpingothers, that you've have found
yourself in situations like Ican't help this person because
they're harming me.
Have you found yourself in anysituations like that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Okay.
So one situation I can think ofin particular is a person that
I had dealt with before I gotincarcerated and while I was
locked up they went to prison ina different state.
Well, when they got out,whenever I finished the program,
I had found them and I wasputting money on their books and
stuff.
Well then, when they got out,they did good for a little bit
(09:43):
and then they went back.
I guess they were strugglingwith their addiction and stuff
and I tried my best to help them.
I got them in different halfwayhouses and at some point I felt
like I was enabling that person, because I felt like my love
for them was clouding myjudgment as far as I was gonna
kill them.
You know what I'm saying.
But I always bailing them outinstead of just letting them
(10:05):
fall and pick their self back upand decide if recovery's really
what they want for them.
So yeah, that was one that washard for me and I felt a lot of
guilt about it.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
That's a hard lesson, and I don't know any least any
of my people, any of my friendspeople.
I've known in recovery thatwe've learned that lesson.
Most of us don't learn it thatquick though, so it's awesome
that you've been able to makethat connection.
It's hard to tell just howsuccess you know what a success
(10:36):
story, what a miracle someone is.
And just a short interview.
But you know, you've always Iain't gonna lie to you.
I use your name every chance Iget when I go to the jail and
teach, because you are a successstory and I can speak for
myself.
When I first got in recovery,it wasn't nobody putting any
bets behind me to make it longand because I had such a track
(10:58):
record of potential unmetpotential, I guess, and it does
make a difference, one that andnow they ask about you.
A lot of the guys do so, hey.
So I said man does this thing,he.
I tell him about the group thatyou did that.
That's 100% voluntary.
First time we've ever let aparticipant or a former
participant or alumni lead a 12step study.
(11:21):
So I can't say that I wouldhave let just anyone do it.
You know, for me recovery justdidn't save my life.
It taught me a new way to live.
You know, I've learned a lot oflessons that maybe I should
have learned as a young man, butI've had to benefit of learning
them in recovery.
(11:41):
Now Let me ask you one question, because this is always one.
Because you're a young man, youtake care of yourself.
One of our rules in the programis no relationships, and I, you
know, just naturally it's moredifficult for a young man.
It was harder for me at 20something than 40, you know.
(12:03):
But how's that struggle beinglike taking a initially, when
you took a break from that for alittle while?
Was that hard or was it justone of them?
Things like, oh, I need this.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
So at first.
You know you always want whatyou can't have, you know I mean.
So, like, that being said, youknow, like you go to church,
like the first time I went tochurch I remember looking over
there and like seeing girls andstuff.
But Luckily for me, I just, youknow I actually I worked at a
college too when I first gothere.
So you know I was interactingwith females and stuff, but I
(12:36):
never was tempted as far as aRelationship goes, which I thank
God for that, because itprobably would have thrown off
everything I had going.
But Even now, you know, at thelittle bit over a year into
recovery, I can see where thatdistraction, where it, you know
it, can be detrimental to yourrecovery and it can make you put
things on the back burner thatyou know.
(12:57):
That you can't, you know, dowith half measure.
So I can definitely see theneed for abstaining from
relationships until you'rereally solidified and, like,
have a good foundation with yourrecovery for sure.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Has it changed like?
So now you know you're alumni,you've been clean over a year,
you know at least all of ouralumni are free to date,
whatever we encouraging and getto know people.
But has it changed yourapproach, like when you're
talking to someone, or has itbecause you put so much work in
and your Recovery and you didabstain for a period of time,
(13:30):
has that changed how youapproach it now versus before?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I feel like I have, you know, I've set boundaries
for myself and like standardsthat probably in the past I
wouldn't, you know, I wouldoverlook things and you know,
probably cosine something forsomebody.
So now my, you know, my bigthing is obviously well, at
least right now, and I don'tthink it would make sense, even
down the road, for me being aaddict.
I don't think I can be withanybody that casually drinks or,
(13:58):
you know, smokes or anythinglike that, because to me, you
know you get around it and maybethe first couple times you know
you're a pallid by it or you'relike no, I can't do it, but
then it becomes the normal, youknow, like it did when I was,
you know, shooting dope andstuff.
So I just Maybe I'm, maybe I'mtoo hard on you know my
potential, you know potentialpeople.
(14:19):
To date I probably am a littlebit too judgmental, but I think
that's just my way of keepingmyself safe and Making sure that
I don't fall back into thatwhole behavior and old thinking.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Well, I mean, you are your main, main priority.
So I think I don't.
I don't think you're.
You have to hire of a standard,because reality is is Like you
have to take yourself in yourpriorities first and if you
already know that ain't gonnawork, then don't even try it.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Right, well, I can, I'll be.
I was in and out.
I've shared that before.
I was in and out of recoveryfor many years and I'd get small
periods of sobriety and then beback in.
And I always heard that at 18years ago, first sponsor ever
had.
You know like you need toabstain from relay ships for at
least a year, and I never, ever,followed that.
(15:08):
I usually hooked up withsomeone in the meeting yeah,
because well, they say, twosickies don't make a wellie.
But both of us being vulnerableoff of drugs, usually for first
time in years, I've alwaysfound that I put the drugs down
while I filled the holes with.
The easiest person to grab tofill that hole Was another
person.
But I never followed it, everand of course my track record
(15:31):
shows how that Worked out.
But when I actually did, for thefirst time in my life, go a
year With which it's not datingyou know, it's working on me my
standards changed, like what Iwas okay with and what I wasn't.
I can't tell you how many, manyyears ago I'm married now, but
(15:51):
not dates that I would see thesered flags and I would just say,
hey, you know, I'm just adifferent place, but I never
would have done that.
It was more about availabilitythan quality, yeah, because I
just didn't want to be by myself.
But it did change mine and I'mglad it did, because I met my
wife now and she's my bestfriend and.
(16:12):
But I never would have got thatif I wouldn't abstain.
So it changed my standards too,because I, for the first time
in my life, I built somethingman.
I just didn't want to risklosing it.
I don't want to make the samedecisions that I made most of my
life.
So I get you.
I'm a trait you know.
You know in your heart whenit's right and if you have
(16:33):
warning signs.
That's something I never did.
I never listened to thosealarms going off in my heart or
my mind.
And today I do, because I'vegot so much at risk To lose.
I think it.
I think even the farther you go, the longer you do it, the more
you build up, even more.
So you have to like you got,you got to be your priority and
you got to protect yourself.
(16:54):
It when I do, when you do findthat one, that hey, I got a real
connection.
I don't want to be, I didn'twant to be unhealthy and run it,
you know.
So you know I'm with you.
It was hard for me because I wasso used to doing it, but you
know you, just you've learned alot of lessons early on.
Maybe that's because yoursponsor I know that you, the
(17:18):
sponsor you had earlier on, Iknow you.
You had a really goodrelationship with him and you
were always like asking Go toextra meetings and things like
that.
People that typically aren'tserious, don't ask to do more.
You know, that's why I firstkind of noticed, like this guy's
, like he's working on him andbut, like said, the Change to
(17:43):
the time and I'm hopingeventually to be able to take
you and some of the other guysthat came from over there that
are successful and doing well,back in there, because I think I
think they need to see thatpeople that are starting on that
road, like you were andEverybody else like I think they
(18:04):
need to see that, hey, if youput the work in you, you know it
, that there's there's adifferent life available.
What would you tell one ofthose guys like, if I did, let's
just say, hop thickly.
We went in there and you knowthey asked you at that point
what's the best advice you couldgive them coming out.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I probably just tell them to Try to, you know, let go
of the reservations and justgive them.
You know, it's kind of like Itell my sponsors or anybody that
talks to me that things theythat this program In a good
fitter they want to leave.
Just give it a week, you know.
I mean, after you give it thatweek, give it another week and
then after a month, if you can'tsay that your life has grown
and been better, then it wouldhave.
(18:47):
If you left and you've wasted,you know you haven't really
wasted any time so you can just,you can always go back out
there and, you know, try to usedope successfully, yeah, so I
would just tell them to just tryto, you know, give theirself a
chance to feel the change andembrace it before you, you know,
give up on it.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Is that from purpose?
Personal experience like that?
You Initially weren't ready tobe here like you.
Tell me about that.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Like your hesitancy to be here.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You know, it's not that I didn't want to be here,
it's.
You know, I just I felt like Iwas losing a part of myself, you
know, with the growth, you knowbecause I come from.
You know, you know from frombeing in the streets and you
know dealing with gangs andstuff like that.
So a lot of the things that Ilearned Living in those circles
is different than what you'retrying to do here.
(19:38):
You know what I mean.
So I felt like at first I feltlike it was me being forced to,
like, you know, turn my back onwhat I, what I wasn't, you know,
what I was passionate about forso many years.
So I felt like I was maybe asellout or something.
But uh, you know, the longer Iwas here and the more I embraced
it, you know, and I think otherpeople see you changing way
(20:01):
before you notice it yourself,you know.
So I feel like Once thatstarted happening and I get like
the positive affirmation frompeople about how far I'd come,
and you know, just stuff likethat, that, um, it really kind
of fueled the fire.
And then, once I start, youknow, I think it was when I
graduated, when I got mypetition to graduate back from
(20:22):
you.
It said that you wanted to seeme get out of my comfort zone
and that's when I was like youknow Well what's the worst that
could happen.
So I started trying to talk topeople and help people.
You know, because I used tojust state to myself I don't
think I was an introvert, but Ithink that I worried more about
what people thought of me or ifI would say something wrong or
you know whatever.
Maybe I wouldn't have an answerfor something.
(20:44):
So I let that make me keep mymouth shut and not try to help
people.
So now I can just see the valueand what I can bring to a
situation and if nothing else,you just always speak from past
experience or yourself.
You don't have to talk aboutthings.
You necessarily haven't beenthere, we don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
You always, we do.
We see we see people getdiscouraged and if they could
only see that snapshot, or whenthey come in, versus where
they're at, you know, after 30days, it is growth, it's a
miracle.
Like you said, you do it for solong.
That old life, that's how welearn to survive, good or bad.
It's easy to judge it from theoutside if you haven't lived
(21:27):
that person and those person,shit.
But that's how we thought wehad to survive and I think it
does become part of our identity.
You know that it becomes a whowe think we are and you know
facing some of that is is well,you see yourself, you mentioned
you've seen so many people comein and when they get to that
point they go back.
(21:47):
You know, and you hate it, butthat's their process.
I failed a lot before.
I actually was ready to Be opento suggestions and I guess, go
all in, as they say, but now,like a, can you see yourself,
you know, in the future doingthis full-time, like in recovery
(22:09):
, or are you more?
I'd like you like give themback and just the sponsor, or
could you see yourself doingthis full-time for a living,
working with other people inrecovery?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You know, for for a long time I always just assumed
that nobody got to enjoy whatthey did for a living.
You know, like you, you had tobe miserable at work.
So this is definitely somethingthat I would do for a living
because I enjoy doing it.
So what better than to make aliving Helping people and you
know me like helping people turntheir lives around and getting
to see other people recover andchange and be the best person of
(22:43):
themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I'll tell you first-hand, man, this is the
greatest blessing in my life.
And I don't have it all figuredout either.
I'm still in my own recovery,learning to grow and Learning
new things, trying to get out mycomfort zone all the time.
But I've got a lot of goodthings in my life today.
(23:05):
But I was like you.
I thought if they gave me acheck I had to be miserable.
That was the trade, like Iwasn't working, if I didn't hate
it.
Today, like I get to work withpeople that are at least similar
to me in some way or anotherand I get to see first-hand the
success that people have and andlike you're just, it's you,
(23:28):
you're cheering you on.
You know like that's how I makeit today is by helping someone
else get a little farther.
You know there's days when Iprobably would it If I was
wealthy.
I'd do it for free.
You know that it's just, it'srewarding and you know, like I
said, you've learned some hardlessons early on.
(23:49):
I think that's just because youwent all in and you wanted
everything you could get out ofit and I think that shows and
you know, like said, that's whyI use you as an example.
You know, I've always knownthat You're not someone that
requires supervision.
You know you're, you're gonnado the right thing Because it's
(24:10):
the right thing for you.
You know, and and I that's whatyou hope for by the end of the
program, as someone stops doingit because they have to, but
because they've adopted thosestandards for themselves and I
sell time.
You know you can have tougherlaws on drugs and stuff, but if
you really want to make adifference, people that are able
(24:30):
to find some recovery give themback.
That's how we make a differencebeing able to connect with
people saying, hey, I was there,I get it, it's hard, but there
is another way, and they'lllisten to someone that they know
has been there.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Chris mentioned mentions a lot that, like, when
you aren't seeking it, seeking arelationship anymore, that's
probably when you're ready for arelationship, when you're not
trying to Move out, it'sprobably when you're Ready, like
when you're not craving theneed to leave here, is when
you're ready To move out.
And I'm curious, like, wherewould you say you're at with
(25:11):
that?
With regard to, like, when didyou stop feeling the need?
Like, when did you stop?
When did you lose the cravingof moving out of here?
And are you there yet?
Are you ready to go?
What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
So I think I probably lost the craving to move out
when I graduated because I feltlike I could breathe a little
bit, you know, because you know,and sometimes you are under a
microscope, you know, and Thingscan just pile up on you.
You know you have a bad day atwork and you come home you got
rode up for something and youknow all that stuff kind of
snowballs into something.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Really it's not it all happens on the same day,
doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, you know.
But so you know Early on little, you know it's the small things
we get hung up on.
So you know Something small asa dart which doesn't even matter
, you know.
I mean you just correct it andyou keep going, you don't let it
get to you.
But so, yeah, once I, once Ifinished the program and I was
able to kind of Mold my recoverythe way I wanted it to be, as
(26:08):
far as like what meetings I wentto and stuff like that Is when
I didn't really mind it anymore.
And as far as being ready tomove out.
I Think I have the tools to towork my program and, you know,
stay consistent and soberoutside of here.
But do I think I'm ready?
Not yet, and that's why I'mhappy that you know.
(26:32):
For right now I can stay hereas long as I want, provided I do
.
You know what's expected of meand stuff.
So I like being around otherpeople that are trying to do the
same thing I'm doing, plusbeing around people that just
got here.
It keeps you grounded, you know, and it helps you see daily
where you were not so long ago,because it's easy to forget,
(26:54):
like the pain and the sufferingand like the desperateness that
you felt when you first gotsober.
You know, once you startgetting stuff back and you got a
good job, you got a littlemoney saved up, clothes, you
know, and stuff like that youforget how bad it was.
And I think that's whatprobably causes some people to
go back out there, because theythey don't, you know, have they
(27:14):
don't recall to their memoryJust how humiliating it was, you
know, not so long ago.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Nothing to you, just different person.
Now.
You know like you're not thesame man as when you started
this journey and hopefully youknow ten years from now, even a
better version.
But I think one lesson that yougot like in the obvious.
It's obvious because the wayit's like the staying connected
part that's.
(27:43):
That's a lesson that we talk alot about, but they're so done
with.
You know the programming andthings like that.
People leave and they're justwhat what starts as I'm gonna
take a break from it for a whilebecomes.
You know they're not connectedand I'm confident that you'll be
connected in some way oranother, even if it's just
(28:07):
sponsoring guys we have here.
But it's huge.
It's huge staying connected,because that's for me, that's
what reminds me of how bad thatwas, how I felt, you know, like
the misery and pain.
It keeps it fresh on my mindthat that I can make a choice to
(28:27):
go back there, because that'sthe difference.
I have a choice today.
Back then I didn't, but I havea choice and I can choose to do
it.
Yeah, you know, and if I forgethow bad it really was, if I let
my attic brain Start tosugarcoat it and change things
around, well, you know I canhandle it now.
I can do different things, andthat's usually in the past where
(28:48):
I made my Mistakes, but but Ithink you got those lessons.
We're just extremely happy foryou.
That this is.
You found something here andthat's all I have I want.
I want people to find the samething I Did here a new way to
live and start to see theirvalue.
(29:08):
But you're just one of them,guys.
You could do any.
Once you focus your mind onsomething, I Don't think you'll
rest till you accomplish it.
And you know, I think you'rejust closer now to who you
really are Than you've ever beenand you're an asset to our
program.
I know that.
I know all of our staff Believethe same thing.
Well, if I could get 20 morelike it, man, my job be easier.
(29:33):
I take it, you know, but yougot to go through.
Usually you got ten peopleain't ready to get to the two
that are, but those two Contactwith a hundred or more people
throughout their lifetime, soit's worth it in the long run.
But so, with that being said,is there anything that you could
(29:57):
offer anybody out there that isstruggling?
That's kind of at thatContemplation stage where, like,
hey, things aren't good, I Needto do something.
Is there anything you can offerthem based on your experience?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Um, I would just tell them, you know, if they're
wanting to do somethingdifferent, if they're tired of
getting the same thing, you know, just don't be afraid to take
that first step.
And, like I said a little bitago, you know, if you, if you
take it and you, you seek outhelp and you know it doesn't
work for you, it doesn't feelright, you can always go back to
what you were doing.
But you know, don't cheatyourself and Don't think you're
(30:39):
not good enough for recovery orthat you don't deserve a second
chance at life, because you knowwe all you know there's better
versions of yourself that youcan be.
You just have to Be the change.
You know you have to activelyseek it and until you do, you
never know how far you can comeor how much you can grow.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
It's price of eyes yourself, honestly don't give up
till before the miracle happens.
You know we say that and bridgea lot, but, man, thanks so much
for coming on.
Well, if you're, you know we'regonna do some other stuff down
the road.
Like I would like you to beinvolved in some stuff like
steps, and then I know we didn'tget into a lot about your path
to this point, but I know you'vehad an event full off and I
(31:20):
would like that to get that oneday, because I, you know we're
so impressed with who you aretoday.
Like I really want to put thatout there, that what kind of man
you are today and how much youmean to other people and how
much you give them back and theyou overcome the odds.
You know that live in a certainway for so long and then you've
(31:43):
, you know, and you've done somuch in such a short period of
time, really in the span oflifetime.
But you know, if you're willingto really dig deep, you know,
later on and kind of go in.
I think people would like to tohear about how, how far you've
come, and just, you know, lessthan two years.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Yeah, we can definitely do it.
I'd definitely be open todiscuss my past and what got me
here.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well, thanks a lot, jonathan, for sharing with us.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, jonathan, thanks for joining us.
We know every person's story isimpactful and it matters, and
so To our listeners, thanks forjoining us today.
You.
Welcome back to Unpolished Recovery.
My name is Trey.
Most stories of recovery startwith how bad addiction was, how
they entered recovery and howgreat life is now.
That's a polished story.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
My name is Chris.
I'm your co-host of UnpolishedRecovery.
Today's guest is named Jonathan.
He's a graduate of a programAlumni continues to live on site
, get back to the program invarious ways.
I 'd actually heard somethingsomeone else had said earlier
this week about addiction is theonly disease that we know of
(00:38):
that an individual can go intorecovery and actually become a
better version of self than whenthey first were, when they were
still in the in the.
In the act of addiction Likeother diseases, like cancer and
things when people go intotreatment, their goal is just to
get back to where they wereprior to.
You know the treatment.
(01:00):
The addiction is the only one.
With recovery that person canactually be a better version of
themselves, and I thought ofJonathan when I heard that,
because I knew we were going totalk to him today on the podcast
, because I do believe that he'she's the best version himself
today, but I think he has just aton of potential to do so much
(01:23):
more.
Maybe he doesn't even realizeyet how much he can do, but so,
jonathan, do you want to justkind of tell us a little bit
about where you're at today,like what, some of the things
you're doing to stay clean.
What's some of your likes?
What?
What do you do?
What is your passion like?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
So what I do to stay clean, I still work my program,
go through the steps of mysponsor.
I work with my sponsors.
I have four of.
I do a meeting at the house onWednesday nights.
It's a big book study.
And what I like to do, I mean Ilike to play video games, to be
honest.
Yeah, that's about it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well, I've kind of see, I've had the benefit of
seeing, just like, the changesin you.
I met you when you wereincarcerated at the county jail
here, I think.
Did you attend you attend acouple classes?
Yeah, yeah, and I knew you hadthe desire to do something
different.
You're just one of those guysthat you know you're real sharp,
you pick up on stuff quick.
(02:22):
You you've always been able tosee the big message.
Not just you know, just youknow the one statement.
But you know, but I knew youhad the desire, but you know you
were trying to figure out, well, how do I execute this?
And you know, I remember youwere on it, you were trying to
get in the program and youdidn't have to be right, this
(02:43):
was not mandated, this issomething you chose.
What come into that process?
Like when did you decide, hey,I gotta do something, this is my
best course of action?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay.
So leading up to beingincarcerated, I was staying, you
know, hotel to hotel, sometimes, you know, outside in tents and
stuff.
So I knew when I went to jailthat if I came out and went back
to what I was doing, that I wasgonna be, you know, homeless
and probably strung out on drugsagain with nowhere to go.
So, like you said, I knew Iwanted to do something different
, but I didn't have the tools totry to build, you know, build
(03:17):
anything up or get back on myfeet.
And whenever I talked to MrVargas and I talked to you, I
just saw that I had a chance at,you know, trying to rebuild my
life and actually having a happy, successful life, sober.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, because and I know, like I said, when you come
in, you've never been a lot oftrouble.
You know, I think it was anadjustment at first because this
was a new way of life, but Ireally believe in correct me if
I'm wrong.
You know, it seemed like afterthat first 30 days you kind of
found your groove and you reallypoured yourself into the whole
(03:50):
recovery process meeting sponsorstuff like that.
Have you found enjoyment inthat stuff?
Is it?
Has it become more than juststaying clean now?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, you know you couldn't have told me when I was
incarcerated or when I firstgot here that I would ever want
to work with other people youknow, or help anybody.
I just didn't.
It was like the furthest thingfrom my mind.
It seemed crazy to me.
But now that's.
One of my favorite things to dois to work with my sponsors and
to get to see like the lightcome on for them and see that I
watched them go through the sameparts of the program I went
(04:23):
through and struggles early onand then to see them find that
inner peace.
It just it's something thatreally keeps me going.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Well, you know, we all know that's worked a program
, that's attraction rather thanpromotion.
And I know firsthand like I getnew guys in and within a few
days they're like hey, canJonathan sponsor me?
You know, and I'm like and thenthat's what calls that.
They see someone working aprogram, they see something they
(04:50):
want.
You know, and I hope you takepride in that that's.
That just happens, naturally.
And you're working a programand I think you've become more
intense about it since yougraduate.
How long ago did you graduate?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I graduated in June last year.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I can't believe it's been that long.
It's went fast.
Yeah, it has.
When you're working on yourselfand building things, it does go
by fast and I know you've hadcertain goals and you've been
working on them.
What's some of your dreams now?
Like, like, moving forward,like what some of those things
now that you've got somestability in a foundation?
(05:28):
I know we've talked aboutfurther in your education but
like, where are you at there,like what some of the things
that you're interested in doingmoving forward?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
So I want to.
Obviously I want to establishmy credit score and get a good
credit score, become a homeownerat some point in the not too
distant future.
I really would like to work inrecovery.
It's not something that I everthought I would want to do, but
it's.
You know, it's something that'smade such a drastic difference
in my life and I've also seenthe other side of it since I've
(05:58):
been here.
You know people that didn'tmake it through the program or
that chose to go back out, thatare in prison now, or some of
them didn't make it back.
So I just see the importance ofit and to think that some
people don't get that chance oropportunity because they don't
know that there is a solutionout there, something about that
just doesn't sit well with me.
So I'd like to try to, you know, open that door for as many
(06:20):
people as you know or lookingfor help.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
You got to give it a way to keep it.
I think there's very few truerstatements in recovery.
Do you mind me asking, like howlong have you got cleaning
sober now as of today?
I have 14 months, 14 months,you're probably you're
approaching that threshold whereyou can probably look at being
a CPRS.
You know, and I know you know,when that time comes we'll
(06:46):
definitely be willing.
Pasadena's big on people wannawork and get those
certifications, so I think thatwould be an excellent choice for
you.
You just connect with guysreally well, and has there been?
What about the difficult times,like going through the program
the first six months?
Did you ever have those momentsyou doubted yourself or started
(07:09):
having thoughts well, maybe Ishould have a different plan.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Or I mean.
So I'm not gonna say theperson's name, but my first
roommate that left, which weboth knew him.
When he left and he, you know,made his little plan to leave.
I was so close to leaving withhim and when I didn't, and then
seeing the path that he traveleddown it just it really
reinforced the thought in myhead that I was doing the right
(07:33):
thing, that I was at the rightplace.
It's just crazy to see, youknow, what one decision can do
for your life, how drasticallyit can change it, whether it's
for the good or the bad.
And so I guess that's just kindof when it clicked for me was
seeing other people, you know,just decided to go back out and
relapse and stuff Just reallyhad an effect on me.
(07:55):
It honestly it takes a lot outof you because you, like you,
build a bond with people and youstart to really care about them
and then to see them do that itkind of hurts.
You blame yourself a little bit, I think so.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, I'm with you there, Cause that's one thing
that's helped me stay inconnected, working in recovery.
I don't wish failure on anyone,but I'm very open about this.
If it, I can't go back, and ifit's gotta be one of us, you
know and you want that, I'llgive it to you, you know.
But it did help me seeing that,because I see myself in
(08:29):
everybody that walks through thedoor.
I might not know them or theirstory, but there's a piece there
that, oh, that was me at onetime and it's a constant
reminder, like you said, thatI'm one bad decision away from
being right back where I startedfrom.
So I relate to that.
Did you have any questions,troy?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I'm curious now that you've I think something
interesting about recovery islike once you find yourself
succeeding in recovery, you allof a sudden are helping other
people very quickly.
I think that's very unique torecovery and I'm curious what
are some?
What are some areas that you'vefound now that you're as much,
(09:10):
that you're so actively helpingothers, that you've have found
yourself in situations like Ican't help this person because
they're harming me.
Have you found yourself in anysituations like that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Okay.
So one situation I can think ofin particular is a person that
I had dealt with before I gotincarcerated and while I was
locked up they went to prison ina different state.
Well, when they got out,whenever I finished the program,
I had found them and I wasputting money on their books and
stuff.
Well then, when they got out,they did good for a little bit
(09:43):
and then they went back.
I guess they were strugglingwith their addiction and stuff
and I tried my best to help them.
I got them in different halfwayhouses and at some point I felt
like I was enabling that person, because I felt like my love
for them was clouding myjudgment as far as I was gonna
kill them.
You know what I'm saying.
But I always bailing them outinstead of just letting them
(10:05):
fall and pick their self back upand decide if recovery's really
what they want for them.
So yeah, that was one that washard for me and I felt a lot of
guilt about it.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
That's a hard lesson, and I don't know any least any
of my people, any of my friendspeople.
I've known in recovery thatwe've learned that lesson.
Most of us don't learn it thatquick though, so it's awesome
that you've been able to makethat connection.
It's hard to tell just howsuccess you know what a success
(10:36):
story, what a miracle someone is.
And just a short interview.
But you know, you've always Iain't gonna lie to you.
I use your name every chance Iget when I go to the jail and
teach, because you are a successstory and I can speak for
myself.
When I first got in recovery,it wasn't nobody putting any
bets behind me to make it longand because I had such a track
(10:58):
record of potential unmetpotential, I guess, and it does
make a difference, one that andnow they ask about you.
A lot of the guys do so, hey.
So I said man does this thing,he.
I tell him about the group thatyou did that.
That's 100% voluntary.
First time we've ever let aparticipant or a former
participant or alumni lead a 12step study.
(11:21):
So I can't say that I wouldhave let just anyone do it.
You know, for me recovery justdidn't save my life.
It taught me a new way to live.
You know, I've learned a lot oflessons that maybe I should
have learned as a young man, butI've had to benefit of learning
them in recovery.
(11:41):
Now Let me ask you one question, because this is always one.
Because you're a young man, youtake care of yourself.
One of our rules in the programis no relationships, and I, you
know, just naturally it's moredifficult for a young man.
It was harder for me at 20something than 40, you know.
(12:03):
But how's that struggle beinglike taking a initially, when
you took a break from that for alittle while?
Was that hard or was it justone of them?
Things like, oh, I need this.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
So at first.
You know you always want whatyou can't have, you know I mean.
So, like, that being said, youknow, like you go to church,
like the first time I went tochurch I remember looking over
there and like seeing girls andstuff.
But Luckily for me, I just, youknow I actually I worked at a
college too when I first gothere.
So you know I was interactingwith females and stuff, but I
(12:36):
never was tempted as far as aRelationship goes, which I thank
God for that, because itprobably would have thrown off
everything I had going.
But Even now, you know, at thelittle bit over a year into
recovery, I can see where thatdistraction, where it, you know
it, can be detrimental to yourrecovery and it can make you put
things on the back burner thatyou know.
(12:57):
That you can't, you know, dowith half measure.
So I can definitely see theneed for abstaining from
relationships until you'rereally solidified and, like,
have a good foundation with yourrecovery for sure.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Has it changed like?
So now you know you're alumni,you've been clean over a year,
you know at least all of ouralumni are free to date,
whatever we encouraging and getto know people.
But has it changed yourapproach, like when you're
talking to someone, or has itbecause you put so much work in
and your Recovery and you didabstain for a period of time,
(13:30):
has that changed how youapproach it now versus before?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I feel like I have, you know, I've set boundaries
for myself and like standardsthat probably in the past I
wouldn't, you know, I wouldoverlook things and you know,
probably cosine something forsomebody.
So now my, you know, my bigthing is obviously well, at
least right now, and I don'tthink it would make sense, even
down the road, for me being aaddict.
I don't think I can be withanybody that casually drinks or,
(13:58):
you know, smokes or anythinglike that, because to me, you
know you get around it and maybethe first couple times you know
you're a pallid by it or you'relike no, I can't do it, but
then it becomes the normal, youknow, like it did when I was,
you know, shooting dope andstuff.
So I just Maybe I'm, maybe I'mtoo hard on you know my
potential, you know potentialpeople.
(14:19):
To date I probably am a littlebit too judgmental, but I think
that's just my way of keepingmyself safe and Making sure that
I don't fall back into thatwhole behavior and old thinking.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Well, I mean, you are your main, main priority.
So I think I don't.
I don't think you're.
You have to hire of a standard,because reality is is Like you
have to take yourself in yourpriorities first and if you
already know that ain't gonnawork, then don't even try it.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Right, well, I can, I'll be.
I was in and out.
I've shared that before.
I was in and out of recoveryfor many years and I'd get small
periods of sobriety and then beback in.
And I always heard that at 18years ago, first sponsor ever
had.
You know like you need toabstain from relay ships for at
least a year, and I never, ever,followed that.
(15:08):
I usually hooked up withsomeone in the meeting yeah,
because well, they say, twosickies don't make a wellie.
But both of us being vulnerableoff of drugs, usually for first
time in years, I've alwaysfound that I put the drugs down
while I filled the holes with.
The easiest person to grab tofill that hole Was another
person.
But I never followed it, everand of course my track record
(15:31):
shows how that Worked out.
But when I actually did, for thefirst time in my life, go a
year With which it's not datingyou know, it's working on me my
standards changed, like what Iwas okay with and what I wasn't.
I can't tell you how many, manyyears ago I'm married now, but
(15:51):
not dates that I would see thesered flags and I would just say,
hey, you know, I'm just adifferent place, but I never
would have done that.
It was more about availabilitythan quality, yeah, because I
just didn't want to be by myself.
But it did change mine and I'mglad it did, because I met my
wife now and she's my bestfriend and.
(16:12):
But I never would have got thatif I wouldn't abstain.
So it changed my standards too,because I, for the first time
in my life, I built somethingman.
I just didn't want to risklosing it.
I don't want to make the samedecisions that I made most of my
life.
So I get you.
I'm a trait you know.
You know in your heart whenit's right and if you have
(16:33):
warning signs.
That's something I never did.
I never listened to thosealarms going off in my heart or
my mind.
And today I do, because I'vegot so much at risk To lose.
I think it.
I think even the farther you go, the longer you do it, the more
you build up, even more.
So you have to like you got,you got to be your priority and
you got to protect yourself.
(16:54):
It when I do, when you do findthat one, that hey, I got a real
connection.
I don't want to be, I didn'twant to be unhealthy and run it,
you know.
So you know I'm with you.
It was hard for me because I wasso used to doing it, but you
know you, just you've learned alot of lessons early on.
Maybe that's because yoursponsor I know that you, the
(17:18):
sponsor you had earlier on, Iknow you.
You had a really goodrelationship with him and you
were always like asking Go toextra meetings and things like
that.
People that typically aren'tserious, don't ask to do more.
You know, that's why I firstkind of noticed, like this guy's
, like he's working on him andbut, like said, the Change to
(17:43):
the time and I'm hopingeventually to be able to take
you and some of the other guysthat came from over there that
are successful and doing well,back in there, because I think I
think they need to see thatpeople that are starting on that
road, like you were andEverybody else like I think they
(18:04):
need to see that, hey, if youput the work in you, you know it
, that there's there's adifferent life available.
What would you tell one ofthose guys like, if I did, let's
just say, hop thickly.
We went in there and you knowthey asked you at that point
what's the best advice you couldgive them coming out.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I probably just tell them to Try to, you know, let go
of the reservations and justgive them.
You know, it's kind of like Itell my sponsors or anybody that
talks to me that things theythat this program In a good
fitter they want to leave.
Just give it a week, you know.
I mean, after you give it thatweek, give it another week and
then after a month, if you can'tsay that your life has grown
and been better, then it wouldhave.
(18:47):
If you left and you've wasted,you know you haven't really
wasted any time so you can just,you can always go back out
there and, you know, try to usedope successfully, yeah, so I
would just tell them to just tryto, you know, give theirself a
chance to feel the change andembrace it before you, you know,
give up on it.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Is that from purpose?
Personal experience like that?
You Initially weren't ready tobe here like you.
Tell me about that.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Like your hesitancy to be here.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
You know, it's not that I didn't want to be here,
it's.
You know, I just I felt like Iwas losing a part of myself, you
know, with the growth, you knowbecause I come from.
You know, you know from frombeing in the streets and you
know dealing with gangs andstuff like that.
So a lot of the things that Ilearned Living in those circles
is different than what you'retrying to do here.
(19:38):
You know what I mean.
So I felt like at first I feltlike it was me being forced to,
like, you know, turn my back onwhat I, what I wasn't, you know,
what I was passionate about forso many years.
So I felt like I was maybe asellout or something.
But uh, you know, the longer Iwas here and the more I embraced
it, you know, and I think otherpeople see you changing way
(20:01):
before you notice it yourself,you know.
So I feel like Once thatstarted happening and I get like
the positive affirmation frompeople about how far I'd come,
and you know, just stuff likethat, that, um, it really kind
of fueled the fire.
And then, once I start, youknow, I think it was when I
graduated, when I got mypetition to graduate back from
(20:22):
you.
It said that you wanted to seeme get out of my comfort zone
and that's when I was like youknow Well what's the worst that
could happen.
So I started trying to talk topeople and help people.
You know, because I used tojust state to myself I don't
think I was an introvert, but Ithink that I worried more about
what people thought of me or ifI would say something wrong or
you know whatever.
Maybe I wouldn't have an answerfor something.
(20:44):
So I let that make me keep mymouth shut and not try to help
people.
So now I can just see the valueand what I can bring to a
situation and if nothing else,you just always speak from past
experience or yourself.
You don't have to talk aboutthings.
You necessarily haven't beenthere, we don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
You always, we do.
We see we see people getdiscouraged and if they could
only see that snapshot, or whenthey come in, versus where
they're at, you know, after 30days, it is growth, it's a
miracle.
Like you said, you do it for solong.
That old life, that's how welearn to survive, good or bad.
It's easy to judge it from theoutside if you haven't lived
(21:27):
that person and those person,shit.
But that's how we thought wehad to survive and I think it
does become part of our identity.
You know that it becomes a whowe think we are and you know
facing some of that is is well,you see yourself, you mentioned
you've seen so many people comein and when they get to that
point they go back.
(21:47):
You know, and you hate it, butthat's their process.
I failed a lot before.
I actually was ready to Be opento suggestions and I guess, go
all in, as they say, but now,like a, can you see yourself,
you know, in the future doingthis full-time, like in recovery
(22:09):
, or are you more?
I'd like you like give themback and just the sponsor, or
could you see yourself doingthis full-time for a living,
working with other people inrecovery?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You know, for for a long time I always just assumed
that nobody got to enjoy whatthey did for a living.
You know, like you, you had tobe miserable at work.
So this is definitely somethingthat I would do for a living
because I enjoy doing it.
So what better than to make aliving Helping people and you
know me like helping people turntheir lives around and getting
to see other people recover andchange and be the best person of
(22:43):
themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I'll tell you first-hand, man, this is the
greatest blessing in my life.
And I don't have it all figuredout either.
I'm still in my own recovery,learning to grow and Learning
new things, trying to get out mycomfort zone all the time.
But I've got a lot of goodthings in my life today.
(23:05):
But I was like you.
I thought if they gave me acheck I had to be miserable.
That was the trade, like Iwasn't working, if I didn't hate
it.
Today, like I get to work withpeople that are at least similar
to me in some way or anotherand I get to see first-hand the
success that people have and andlike you're just, it's you,
(23:28):
you're cheering you on.
You know like that's how I makeit today is by helping someone
else get a little farther.
You know there's days when Iprobably would it If I was
wealthy.
I'd do it for free.
You know that it's just, it'srewarding and you know, like I
said, you've learned some hardlessons early on.
(23:49):
I think that's just because youwent all in and you wanted
everything you could get out ofit and I think that shows and
you know, like said, that's whyI use you as an example.
You know, I've always knownthat You're not someone that
requires supervision.
You know you're, you're gonnado the right thing Because it's
(24:10):
the right thing for you.
You know, and and I that's whatyou hope for by the end of the
program, as someone stops doingit because they have to, but
because they've adopted thosestandards for themselves and I
sell time.
You know you can have tougherlaws on drugs and stuff, but if
you really want to make adifference, people that are able
(24:30):
to find some recovery give themback.
That's how we make a differencebeing able to connect with
people saying, hey, I was there,I get it, it's hard, but there
is another way, and they'lllisten to someone that they know
has been there.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Chris mentioned mentions a lot that, like, when
you aren't seeking it, seeking arelationship anymore, that's
probably when you're ready for arelationship, when you're not
trying to Move out, it'sprobably when you're Ready, like
when you're not craving theneed to leave here, is when
you're ready To move out.
And I'm curious, like, wherewould you say you're at with
(25:11):
that?
With regard to, like, when didyou stop feeling the need?
Like, when did you stop?
When did you lose the cravingof moving out of here?
And are you there yet?
Are you ready to go?
What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
So I think I probably lost the craving to move out
when I graduated because I feltlike I could breathe a little
bit, you know, because you know,and sometimes you are under a
microscope, you know, and Thingscan just pile up on you.
You know you have a bad day atwork and you come home you got
rode up for something and youknow all that stuff kind of
snowballs into something.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Really it's not it all happens on the same day,
doesn't it?
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, you know.
But so you know Early on little, you know it's the small things
we get hung up on.
So you know Something small asa dart which doesn't even matter
, you know.
I mean you just correct it andyou keep going, you don't let it
get to you.
But so, yeah, once I, once Ifinished the program and I was
able to kind of Mold my recoverythe way I wanted it to be, as
(26:08):
far as like what meetings I wentto and stuff like that Is when
I didn't really mind it anymore.
And as far as being ready tomove out.
I Think I have the tools to towork my program and, you know,
stay consistent and soberoutside of here.
But do I think I'm ready?
Not yet, and that's why I'mhappy that you know.
(26:32):
For right now I can stay hereas long as I want, provided I do
.
You know what's expected of meand stuff.
So I like being around otherpeople that are trying to do the
same thing I'm doing, plusbeing around people that just
got here.
It keeps you grounded, you know, and it helps you see daily
where you were not so long ago,because it's easy to forget,
(26:54):
like the pain and the sufferingand like the desperateness that
you felt when you first gotsober.
You know, once you startgetting stuff back and you got a
good job, you got a littlemoney saved up, clothes, you
know, and stuff like that youforget how bad it was.
And I think that's whatprobably causes some people to
go back out there, because theythey don't, you know, have they
(27:14):
don't recall to their memoryJust how humiliating it was, you
know, not so long ago.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Nothing to you, just different person.
Now.
You know like you're not thesame man as when you started
this journey and hopefully youknow ten years from now, even a
better version.
But I think one lesson that yougot like in the obvious.
It's obvious because the wayit's like the staying connected
part that's.
(27:43):
That's a lesson that we talk alot about, but they're so done
with.
You know the programming andthings like that.
People leave and they're justwhat what starts as I'm gonna
take a break from it for a whilebecomes.
You know they're not connectedand I'm confident that you'll be
connected in some way oranother, even if it's just
(28:07):
sponsoring guys we have here.
But it's huge.
It's huge staying connected,because that's for me, that's
what reminds me of how bad thatwas, how I felt, you know, like
the misery and pain.
It keeps it fresh on my mindthat that I can make a choice to
(28:27):
go back there, because that'sthe difference.
I have a choice today.
Back then I didn't, but I havea choice and I can choose to do
it.
Yeah, you know, and if I forgethow bad it really was, if I let
my attic brain Start tosugarcoat it and change things
around, well, you know I canhandle it now.
I can do different things, andthat's usually in the past where
(28:48):
I made my Mistakes, but but Ithink you got those lessons.
We're just extremely happy foryou.
That this is.
You found something here andthat's all I have I want.
I want people to find the samething I Did here a new way to
live and start to see theirvalue.
(29:08):
But you're just one of them,guys.
You could do any.
Once you focus your mind onsomething, I Don't think you'll
rest till you accomplish it.
And you know, I think you'rejust closer now to who you
really are Than you've ever beenand you're an asset to our
program.
I know that.
I know all of our staff Believethe same thing.
Well, if I could get 20 morelike it, man, my job be easier.
(29:33):
I take it, you know, but yougot to go through.
Usually you got ten peopleain't ready to get to the two
that are, but those two Contactwith a hundred or more people
throughout their lifetime, soit's worth it in the long run.
But so, with that being said,is there anything that you could
(29:57):
offer anybody out there that isstruggling?
That's kind of at thatContemplation stage where, like,
hey, things aren't good, I Needto do something.
Is there anything you can offerthem based on your experience?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Um, I would just tell them, you know, if they're
wanting to do somethingdifferent, if they're tired of
getting the same thing, you know, just don't be afraid to take
that first step.
And, like I said a little bitago, you know, if you, if you
take it and you, you seek outhelp and you know it doesn't
work for you, it doesn't feelright, you can always go back to
what you were doing.
But you know, don't cheatyourself and Don't think you're
(30:39):
not good enough for recovery orthat you don't deserve a second
chance at life, because you knowwe all you know there's better
versions of yourself that youcan be.
You just have to Be the change.
You know you have to activelyseek it and until you do, you
never know how far you can comeor how much you can grow.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
It's price of eyes yourself, honestly don't give up
till before the miracle happens.
You know we say that and bridgea lot, but, man, thanks so much
for coming on.
Well, if you're, you know we'regonna do some other stuff down
the road.
Like I would like you to beinvolved in some stuff like
steps, and then I know we didn'tget into a lot about your path
to this point, but I know you'vehad an event full off and I
(31:20):
would like that to get that oneday, because I, you know we're
so impressed with who you aretoday.
Like I really want to put thatout there, that what kind of man
you are today and how much youmean to other people and how
much you give them back and theyou overcome the odds.
You know that live in a certainway for so long and then you've
(31:43):
, you know, and you've done somuch in such a short period of
time, really in the span oflifetime.
But you know, if you're willingto really dig deep, you know,
later on and kind of go in.
I think people would like to tohear about how, how far you've
come, and just, you know, lessthan two years.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Yeah, we can definitely do it.
I'd definitely be open todiscuss my past and what got me
here.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well, thanks a lot, jonathan, for sharing with us.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, jonathan, thanks for joining us.
We know every person's story isimpactful and it matters, and
so To our listeners, thanks forjoining us today.
You.
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