Survival Buddies, Not Soulmates | Unread & Unfiltered: Voice Notes

Pop culture loves to tell us that once you survive something together, you’re bonded for life. From golden trios to TikTok edits set to Phoebe Bridgers, it’s always the same: chaos + loyalty = forever family.

But let’s be real. Most of us don’t have a sitcom couch of forever friends. We have survival families — temporary, duct-taped chaos goblins who appear during crisis, burn bright, and then vanish once the smoke clears.

This episode is a caffeine-fueled rant about the myth of forever family, the messy truth of trauma bonds, and why fandom “family” vibes combust faster than your paycheck on payday.

In this episode:

• Survival Buddies vs. Soulmates → why clinging to someone in crisis doesn’t equal forever-family energy.

• Found Family Tropes in Books & Pop Culture → from ACOTAR’s Court of Dreams to the Golden Trio, why media romanticizes the “forever bond” that real life rarely delivers.

• The Trauma Bond to Book Boyfriend Pipeline → how we confuse shared chaos with destiny and start romanticizing red flags (especially when they’re holding swords).

• Messy Fandom Families → why Swifties, Marvel stans, and Star Wars fans feel like bloodlines…until one casting announcement drops and suddenly it’s Lord of the Flies in the group chat.

Real-Life Situational Families → coworkers trauma bonding over nightmare managers, mom friends who only exist until daycare ends, retail crews surviving Black Friday like it’s a warzone.

My extended rant:

Found family stories are comforting because they promise us this: love can be chosen, loyalty can be forever, and chaos can create something permanent. And while that looks great on screen, in real life? Most found families are built for survival, not eternity.

Think about it:

• That coworker you trauma bonded with during retail hell.

• The friend group formed entirely around hating your ex.

• The fandom chat that felt like a cult until someone said “maybe the villain was right.”

They all feel like family because culture has drilled it into us: “survive together = bonded forever.” But once the crisis fades, you’re left realizing that the only thing holding you together was shared pain, not shared values.

And here’s the kicker → when we confuse survival bonds with soulmate bonds, we start making messy decisions. We excuse toxic friendships because “they’re basically family.” We romanticize red flags in romance novels because trauma bonding gets dressed up as destiny. And before we know it, we’ve slid straight into the trauma bond ➝ book boyfriend pipeline.

In this episode, I call out:

• Bookish fandoms that feel more like cults than communities (matching tattoos, secret lingo, “betray the family and you’re out”). Babe, that’s not a book club. That’s a Netflix docuseries waiting to happen.

• Situational found families that were real and powerful… but not permanent. From coworkers running on iced coffee and spite to fandom friends who vanish the second the discourse shifts.

• Pop culture manipulation → why permanence sells. It’s easier to market “forever family” than admit that most friendships expire like milk in August.

Because here’s the truth: for now can still be love. It doesn’t have to be forever to be meaningful. Sometimes your survival buddy is exactly who you needed in that moment — a crisis-specific life raft. And when it’s time to let them go? That doesn’t make it less real. It makes it human.

• If you’ve ever wondered why that “forever friend” from high school stopped texting once graduation hit.

• If you’ve trauma bonded with a coworker only to realize you had nothing in common once the crisis ended.

• If you’ve been in a fandom that swore it was “family”… until someone suggested the villain had a point.

This episode is the messy, unhinged reminder that not all found families are soulmates. Some are survival buddies. And that’s okay.

Next week we’re diving full force into Trauma Bonds and Book Boyfriends — aka Why Red Flags Look Cuter When They’re Holding a Sword.