May 6, 2023 • 38 mins
Can a guy and a girl really be best friends without falling in love?! Is that even possible without someone catching feelings?! We dive into it all in a brand new episode of Unrehearsed! Support the show by following DaeShawn and Mo on IG and Unrehearsed on TikTok!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
here we go fam yeah I'm rehearsed back at it again with Mo and DeShawn DeShawn
(00:08):
it's popping. I almost forgot my name.
Okay. But yeah yeah we back unrehearsed you know it ain't an unrehearsed episode of we
don't know how to open this up really clearly unrehearsed episode like we
(00:30):
might not ever get it together fam and that's okay probably not it makes it
really fun actually it does I don't know it's like no pressure right like we just
wing it and I never know what to expect the moment that we press record right
it's like okay how are we gonna like actually segue into the conversation
right without it being awkward awkward I was like today we talked about
(00:52):
platonic hypnotic erotic just kidding we're just rhyming so today we're
talking about platonic platonic platonic however you want to say it
friendships can it be done is it possible this is specifically between
like guys and girls yes pardon me as I'm just making sure everything looks good
(01:17):
but um like as you can see or hear my voice y'all trash right now but that's
okay so we're just gonna keep on checking so if you see my head turn it's
cuz I'm trying not to like die while coughing right platonic relationships
between guys and girls in particularly you know the whole guy and girl best
(01:39):
friends mm-hmm is that a real thing can you actually be best friends how about you just start off
sharing your experience like let's hear it Xavier like have you had a platonic
relationship do you have one now and how is that going I'm sorry I hecka put you
on the spot oh this is perfect one of the reasons I actually wanted to do this
episode first shout out to mo cuz this is actually most thought oh and you know
(02:03):
always got a shout out my people shout out Brandon behind the camera as always
he just manages to get shout out shout it out every episode and my man is just
looking like Mary Poppins right now but um so to answer your question so one of
the reasons why I wanted to do this aside from it just being a nice
(02:24):
conversation the fact that I have so much experience in this okay my best
friend it would be I don't know exactly what it's gonna hit ten years this year
oh wow that's a long that's a whole decade girl it's the woman yeah we went
(02:47):
to we met our freshman year okay and I was high school yeah freshman high school
and I was new to still new to the city I had just moved and I have wrapped up my
eighth grade year in Antioch so I only have been out for like four months okay
(03:10):
four or five months that and we funny thing is her and I never had class
together oh wow so how did y'all actually become friends we became friends
through a mutual friend okay who I was good friends with all four years of high
school as well and we ended up I was in BSU freshman year and part of the S.U.
(03:34):
sorry black student union okay thank you for clarifying yeah I was in black
student union my entire freshman year I was active in high school so I was a
black student union my entire freshman year and then part of my sophomore year
and then I did sports football track for a year the senior year I was a jazz
man you know just got to stay active iron and so we we met through a mutual
(03:56):
friend and then we got real close because we both decided to do BSU together
and yeah we just never had a class well it's like we had lunch then we have the
same lunch or we had BSU and then we just you know connected really well and
then I met her like her parents and my part of her family okay which I was
(04:18):
still like friends and there was like no feelings for each other like in a
romantic sense at all okay we've been in our own and multiple of our own like
separate you know individual relationships with other people while
still maintaining our best friends our best friendship and not like you know
(04:40):
that line was never crossed okay you know what I mean that's interesting yeah
and yeah it makes some people some people don't necessarily feel that way
they feel a little bit more insecure about things okay and I understand it
like insecure in the sense of like okay let's say let's say I'm dating someone
(05:03):
okay oh I was gonna ask I'm glad you brought that up cuz I was that that was
literally a question in my mind of like oh so then whoever you're dating like
were they at all I like that you call it an insecurity
stepping on them y'all go ahead take off your shoes get prepared I gotta like
(05:24):
it's okay I mean like I would agree I definitely do feel like it is an
insecurity thing like I'm glad you said that I just think a lot of people
wouldn't blatantly say it like that nor are they able to like recognize that
it's okay I don't ever be thinking about yet it's gonna go public yeah it's okay
yeah so it's like some people might feel a certain way and obviously we did run
(05:49):
into that okay you did and so how did that affect your relationship being that
y'all were so so close being of the opposite sex but it was never like oh
I'm trying to get at you or I'm like following them up with you I think what
I think it's a couple things one you got to be mature enough to not like you know
(06:10):
you got to be mature enough to handle it okay for one it's you know guys and
girls become friends all the time so it's not like anything new right maybe
social media or something may have a play and just kind of like bringing it
more to the forefront yeah but it's like one just I guess just being like mature
(06:33):
enough and it's a lot of times some of it just comes down to
okay like an honest conversation like what would that look like because I
think that's the other thing I do feel that with platonic relationships there's
that pressure let's be real to kind of like end up together because you know
you have like family you know and everyone's like always dropping that
(06:56):
person's name or like oh what about so-and-so so they almost like get it in
your mind and then you kind of like I'm not gonna lie sometimes like dang I'm
really considering that and I'm just like stop it's been almost 10 years they
still bring her name up right I'm like yo almost married a whole other girl
(07:17):
like they their names to her name was brought up like probably a couple days
ago oh really if it looks like if I if it looks like I'm going to go like
somewhere some sort of special occasion who's the girl this is so it's like
(07:40):
but honest conversation honestly it would just it just looks like a honest
and transparent conversation it's like you know you got it sometimes you might
have to just like so what does that look can you just say it though I feel like
you're trying to go for example like don't don't don't don't be scared to
(08:03):
like is it more like hey like for example it's us yeah let's just play
around like for example we heard it a lot in high school some folks actually
thought we were dating you know for a while and we especially like freshman
year they were we really heard it a lot because we had like met each other
freshman year and after a while you know after you hearing it so often I'm hearing
(08:26):
it on my own we're hearing it together she's hearing it on her own eventually
you're gonna talk about it yeah you know what I mean it's just kind of like just
talk about it like where's your hands at you know as far as each other goes okay
so it's like do you like me like you know have you ever had those thoughts
kind of thing and if you both have had those thoughts it doesn't necessarily
mean that y'all need to pursue it or is it just more of like okay like we know
(08:51):
that we both having those thoughts but like you could you could explore and see
what the curiosity is all about fulfill your curiosity needs but that's just up
to y'all obviously but I would say like have a obviously setting those boundaries
with each other and having an honest conversation and stuff like that and
(09:14):
then when you would just significant other you know it's like also let them
know like hey you know it's for you you know I'm saying it's just friends and
that's it you know I'm saying nothing more and nothing less yeah type joint you
know she chases someone else hey it's just you just gotta be I guess adults
(09:36):
about it okay you know because guys and girls become friends all the time right
it's just natural and there is some sort of natural attraction at work because
you're more likely to become friends with someone that you're attracted to in
some sort of way in some sort of way it doesn't necessarily have to be like a
physical yeah sometimes it's just like certain characteristics where you're
(09:58):
like oh I like that yeah certain personality tracing
characteristics yeah sometimes it starts off with me so-and-so
they look like why so-and-so look you talk to them and you get to know them a
little bit it's like okay it's not going in the romantic kind of way but you
(10:20):
still really value their company yeah and so it's like me ask yourself what
was not going to romantic kind of way but do I still like appreciate this with
this person breaks to my life you gotta be adults about it's just how I've
approached it's not the way but a way so then when you're so for example being
in like a relationship but this isn't what the platonic friend and so to have
(10:43):
whoever like your partner is to kind of be like oh like I don't believe that
like you could be best friends with like a guy for example myself it's like oh I
don't believe that you could be a best friends with the guy like because you're
secretly in love with them and stuff like what do you say to that because it's
like like I don't know what to do I'd be like man if I was like let if I was in
(11:04):
love with just me personally knowing myself and how I typically conduct
myself if I was in love with the girl I'm gonna go see about that okay I'm not
gonna be I'm not going like you're not gonna play around I'm not going date
this one girl but secretly be in love with another Wow that's actually pretty
(11:24):
foul if you think about it yeah it's like I'm not I'm not about to I'm not
about to do that I pride myself on like knowing what's going on on the inside
because I do a lot of journaling and so if you don't you know if you don't like
in some sort of way like figure out what's going on the thoughts that you're
thinking or the feelings that you're feeling whether it's through journaling
(11:45):
or whatever however you do it a lot of stuff has a way of flying under the
radar okay so yeah I'm not like you know I remember I remember one time someone
was someone I was they tried to track the boy up you know what I'm saying
was like no cuz literally females be out here trapping yeah it's scary it tried
to track the boy up then you realize I was in on gang you know what I'm saying so someone was
(12:11):
this old girl I was dating years ago she was a little concerned about it okay but by
that time me and my best friend have been best friends for like four years
okay gotcha four years and ain't nothing that happened four years and she's been
her own separate relationship I was in my own separate relationship nothing that
(12:31):
happened yeah I'm crazy that sneak on the side no sneaky link no nothing it
was just best friends how your mom and them doing yeah like like what I'm at
mom dad sisters like you know I don't met the fam and everything so I'm part
of the fan and so years ago this girl I was dating was she asked the question
(12:54):
she's like how would you feel if I had a guy best friend I was like as long as
press cool okay you're like rare I feel like a lot of guys don't feel that way
at all but then is that an insecurity I didn't mean at first to use the word
is no but that was good it kind of it's like if you if you with someone and you
(13:16):
get nervous around when they're around someone else then it's like okay like you
probably don't entirely trust okay or maybe you know you feel some sort of way
if you feel like you get if you get nervous when you're significant others
around oh wow yeah now perhaps still like what you said I am rare dude
(13:40):
cuz it's like I'm not that kind of dude that's going pull something okay you
know I mean I'm not that kind of dude that's gonna like you know once once
those boundaries and that understanding was set between me and my best friend I
kept those boundaries ten years later you know and we had that honest
(14:01):
conversation and we talked about it just to pick each other's brains and see
where is that and we got real honest and transparent with each other and then
later here we are you know I mean still still best friends stuff like that you
know we still keep up with each other we don't necessarily talk every single day
but like we hit each other up we go see about each other make sure cool when we
(14:24):
link up house how's the family doing house mama I call her mama mama and I've been
doing that since freshman year you know what I mean yeah I remember like one time
I was trying to link up with my best friend and something happened she
wasn't able to link so I just pulled over to her house cuz she's still at home
folks so I pulled over to her house and I just sat down with her mom and her older
(14:45):
sister and I just talked and we just talked it up you know what I mean so
maybe I am a bit rare I don't know I will never say that I'm rare oh it's okay
I'll say it for you you're you and others have said that I will never say
that about myself I think it's just cuz your sense of maturity with it is just
cuz you're only I don't know are we like dropping ages is that okay the world no
(15:08):
okay great hopefully well I'm 23 years 23 I'm 26 and so I know I was gay Doria
everyone's always like you look like you're 18 and I was like black no crack
let's go so yeah but DeShawn is 23 and so even as a 23 year old like it's so
(15:29):
rare to like find young men who are as mature as you like in your level of
thinking like in in your mindset no I'm serious any your mindset so for you to
even like be able to say like oh I've had a 10 year long platonic relationship
with my best friend who's a girl and like nothing has happened and we've had
conversations and things like that so what would you say to the person that
(15:50):
scared to have that conversation because I do feel like there are people like
there is the side of like oh we set boundaries and we're just friends but
then there also is the other side of like you we really do be liking each
other but like we really not doing nothing about it and it's just like
we've had conversations but like nothing has gone anywhere so this oh it's just
like so in this question they've already had the honest conversation and just
(16:12):
haven't made that step to make something correct so then do you stay friends with
them or do you not see friends with them so not that I'm saying both admitted
that he like it that they like each other yeah go for it like oh what if one
party is just kind of like playing around the other party is like I'm
starting a series right now that's a whole separate thing like okay you gotta
(16:35):
guard your heart as the Bible says out here I think what does it say like for
out of it comes like the issues of life yeah paraphrasing yeah if someone's
playing then that's a different conversation because you've got to make
sure that you don't get played in the process okay but then do you say friends
with that person you know what I mean because it's like the relationship is
already because the relationship has already been there for a long time
(17:02):
thank you so yeah so it's like the relationship has been there for a long
time but there has never just been that initiation on one side of the party have
they've been playing that throughout the length of the bond I would say so yes
recurring pattern yes you might have to take them for what they are and not what
(17:24):
they could be oh talk about that you might can you say that one more time for
the people and for myself you might you might have to take them for what they
are and not what they could be meaning like don't and I've done this before I'm
guilty guilty but like don't in that case don't like go for what they could
(17:51):
be like for potential okay what they are in the moment that's what I personally
would do it's not a way is it's not the way it's a way yeah that might be a line
I'll say repeatedly throughout this podcast yeah yeah cuz it's like you know
people have and I understand it cuz me with the business and with my own life
(18:15):
it requires me to have long-term vision I have to be able to see like there's
stuff I do now because I know how I was gonna benefit years ahead like for
example I rarely I didn't really give myself a break in school because I know
that if I kept going and going I could get done really fast yeah not finished a
(18:36):
year a whole year early and so like if I didn't do that I'd still be in school
right now right probably wouldn't be shooting this podcast so doing that opens
up the door for a lot of things I knew that at the start so darn well I'm gonna
say you was talking about showing people oh yeah like long-term vision so yeah
just I typically have long-term vision over just about everything but when it
(19:02):
comes to people and especially when it comes to people is cuz like I remember I
told a can't remember who I told this but I told someone I was like fairly
recently I actually said this I told someone it's like sometimes I'll see a
person's potential before I really know entirely of what they are right now I
actually think you told me that that's I think it was probably told you you said
(19:23):
I was like oh you told me that okay it maybe maybe it was you but when it comes
to like feelings and just people in general it's like yeah people we have
potential but you always got to look at okay where what are they right now Wow
you know so if and I guess in this case if the person has been repeatedly playing
(19:44):
throughout the years you probably don't want to bank on them okay changing okay
anytime so not saying that they can't get back together because everyone can
grow and change yeah growing and change a lot but you know if you were to get
involved and then you get played you do what you were signing up for yes you
(20:06):
know what I mean you have plenty you had a large enough sample size and long
enough time to figure out what it is that you could do yeah me personally
that's how I would roll because you know and I like I said I'm guilty I've done
that before where it's like I see yeah I see the person but I'm also seeing what
I know that they they could end up being yeah and you know when people don't meet
(20:31):
that expectation because they just don't do what they want to do then you would
laugh hurt and disappointed man yeah you want to quote say the quote I know you
want to say what you told me yesterday where you were like high expectations oh
oh what did I say that that was fire I say you said high expectations sets you
(20:53):
up for great disappointments that's what you told me something like that I don't
know if I said it exactly like that but oh something like like great
disappointment is usually due to high expectations not being met yeah that's
just life so yeah then it comes to that when it comes to that kind of scenario
(21:16):
if someone's playing then it's like get defensive you know guard yourself because
you don't want to get caught up in the mix it's like you know so you ever see
like a cartoon you're like oh the old cartoons where they fighting and it's
like they fight but it's like smoke and dust and you can't actually see them
fight yeah then they go in and they go in and it makes you know someone gets
trapped in in there and next you know they in it too yeah oh that's heca
(21:39):
funny I was beautiful we needed that imagery I was like oh yes yeah at least
that's how I pictured it so okay yeah I say guy and girl best friends are
completely possible it all depends on the character of the both of you the
both of you not just one person but both of you yeah and you know if at some
(22:05):
point if it's cough calls for it having that yeah conversation because there's a
natural guy and girl dynamic at work where it's like you know everybody wants
love so if you all you need yeah so like you're if you're a guy and then you
connect with a girl she's really cool and you guys are really like gelling and
bonding and stuff like shelling gelling together okay those thoughts might be in
(22:31):
the back of your mind like hmm with this I wonder if this could go here
okay she's straight okay she like yeah and so those thoughts might actually
come to your mind yeah so then it's not the way it's a way we're gonna make a
shirt it's not the way it's a way hashtag transparency like new words
(22:57):
gonna be dropping in October okay I would say that because when you're
talking all I kept thinking of was just like I wouldn't say so much social I
wouldn't say I wouldn't say like so much social media but it more makes me think
of just like film because I don't think that that insecurity is of like feeling
(23:20):
like you can't have a platonic relationship when you're in a
relationship or even when you're not like just having a platonic relationship I
feel that a lot of that has to do with just movies if I'm being honest like I'm
just thinking about films and just how many times in the films you know they'd
be like oh yeah like you know I'm married to let's say I'm married to Gus
you know and my best friend Gina is like oh yeah like Gina and Gus like they're
(23:44):
so close to you know and then in the movie it's like they end up having like
an affair or something and you're like what and then you know all the women are
like girl I could have told you that you know because they're like so close and
stuff so I do feel that like media and just in general just hearing stories
from like family members and things like that can like almost like plant that
seed of like insecurity or that seed of doubt like there's no way like there's
(24:08):
no way that you could still be best friends with this person and like not
do anything yeah it's like people are waiting for the
shoe to drop they're like there's no way like you say this but like there's no
human being on earth literally literally like it's like there's no human being on
earth that has ever had a platonic relationship and it's never like been
anything else you know and so yeah yeah I think movies play a part in it
(24:32):
especially American movies because like I think I probably said this on one of
our previous episodes the romance the romance part of romance was
romanticized yo romance part of love yeah but um and they it does things are
done in film just for it to make like a good product yeah but I think then the
(24:54):
problem was that is we see that and we soak up that product in that content
and then we go out and kind of like start to expect that yeah that's like so
true also it makes me think where you gonna say something like yes yes yeah I
was like what okay yes yes but no um but I was just gonna add because then it
(25:18):
made me think of like what does love really mean because I think a lot of
times I said girl I'm a day Sean I was like what's your name who are you I feel
like my grandma was like every name by your own okay but um it just made me
think of like what does love really mean what does it really mean to like not so
(25:39):
much be in love but to love somebody especially somebody of like the opposite
sex because in America in general like in this Western world that we live in
like sex it just sex sells you know and it's so like such a hypersexual culture
and so like a lot of times we associate love with sex so then it's like I think
that also can make it very hard for us to have healthy and real and genuine
(26:03):
authentic like non-sexual non-romantic relationships with the opposite sex
yeah we talking we talking love in terms of like a romantic relationship no just in general because I
mean like it's hard to like I feel like a lot of times in society like it's hard
to be like oh yeah like I love this dude and you're not family right like you're
not filming you're just friends and then people and then you know it's like it's
(26:25):
hard to I guess like for a lot of people to like stay in that relationship and
like not for their mind to like go to like oh romantic romantic romantic just
because it's like so yeah and I feel like kind of like like you said society
setting up that expectation of like oh like if you're in a relationship with
opposite sex you know it's just like it has to be something you know something
(26:48):
think it cool right like I feel like Cinderella no Beauty and the Beast
where it's like there may be something there that wasn't there before like
literally that's how I feel like society makes you feel about platonic
relationship I mean there's different types of love there's the romantic love
and then there's like the family love and then like a brotherly friendly love type of thing
(27:10):
I mean even with the romantic love I feel like if you for example take away
like the sex in a romantic relationship like what makes it romantic then what
makes it romantic like without the sex
that is a good question for some married folk
okay you right you right
(27:34):
okay I love you did you he drop that in there
not that's obviously not saying that sex is all that makes it romantic I think
what's good to like know like your love languages I mean quality time is good if
that's like your love language quality time whatever that acts of service words
(27:56):
of affirmation what's the other one physical touch yeah it's just the thing
with relationships these days because we don't do a God's Way and a lot of us
come from broken homes yeah we a lot of a lot of relationships these days the
(28:19):
thing that's like keeping it somewhat going is sex whatever that chemistry is
as far as that goes yeah and the moment that is removed or the moment is that
part that move is over wow come on can I just make a side note so there's this
girl her name is a Johnny rain she's hilarious but she had like this video
(28:42):
and she's like hey this is your older this is your Christian cousin and
Johnny you see that yo but it was the part where she was like let's start off
with the person's like sex is for poor people I was like yo she coming in
strong but it had me so weak anyways I just thought about that first one had me
(29:02):
so weak I was like no but she right she's like only poor people have sex and
I was like okay rich folk ain't doing that right I can attest to that that's
like a bunny but yeah I just think that like you said things are hyper hyper
sexualized these days and so they mesh the concept of love and acts of sex
(29:27):
together yeah you know and you know a lot of times people
conversation but a lot of times I guess man okay so I've experienced things in
just the dating pool where it's like you be swimming deep where whereas I've
(29:54):
experienced moments where the girl feels weird because I wasn't quick like I
wasn't trying to do that I was trying to say that stuff for marriage talk about sex
oh okay I was like lost my what okay like they feel weird they feel like yeah
remember I dated one girl and she literally her insecurities really showed
(30:16):
because I wasn't like because I told her not to sin like no was it that no
because I wasn't like touching up on her like sexually like trying to initiate
something and I'm like trying to say that for marriage because you know stuff
could happen and it's God's way to save her marriage and then like she literally
(30:37):
was like almost like she almost in a way was like dang do we really even like
like like me isn't that crazy yo that's like a real thing though like you're
saying and I'm like no like that's like I was starting to a kind of this was
(30:57):
years ago so I think I was probably still in high school and I was like starting to
count all of that stuff I was like what yeah I come like my parents have been
married not come from a Christian household my parents been married over
30 years like I didn't come up that way you know I mean we wasn't taught that
so when I heard that I'm over here thinking like man I'm really trying to
(31:19):
know you I want to do things right and do a God's way I'm gonna save her
marriage and she's like you won't save marriage you must not know now just you
must not like really like like that you must not really be attracted yeah wow
that's like very two opposing ideas right there right but yeah it's wild out here
it is out here you gotta you gotta be y'all gotta be chill up in those dating
(31:43):
pools yeah it was like that tie really be trying to bring you in like I think
as far as like to answer because I think you asked a question about like well then
what is love then yeah in a general sense not necessarily romantic right
kind of starting to get a bit chilly out here it's a little cold a little windy I
think it's just I mean you know like like I guess the term is what a common
(32:06):
love or just like just you know treating others how you want to be treated that's
like first Corinthians 13 maybe yeah that's like love that is most basic form
it's like I wouldn't run up on you and pop you upside the head aggressively
please don't do that to me right you know you got love and respect for your boy even if
you don't really know me like that to me and then as far as like I guess as far
(32:32):
as the friendship goes yeah just you know it's not much different like just
look out for one another okay and is it just having healthy conversations I
guess that's what we can like end with so having a healthy platonic relationship
in today's society just considering all the things that we've already discussed
it will look like one like y'all having those open conversations of like where
(32:56):
is your head at in our relationship and where is my head at yeah just to get
that part squared away okay if necessary okay sometimes it ain't necessary you
know what I mean but if if it calls for that in my experience it called for it
get that squared away when you know honest conversation between the two of
y'all and then like don't overthink things just be friends yo over thinking
(33:19):
no for real cuz I used to really be reading between the lines and stuff and
then they'd be like nah and I'm like yo it was all in my head like I was just
really deep thinking that okay
movies we went to movies just us we've had a group of our friends come with us
we've food and get dinner a bunch of times sometimes now I hate to sound old
(33:45):
oh here we go I'm about to sound older than my age but now we've reached the
age where at least I've heard I've reached the stage personally where it's
like I don't necessarily like if I'm hanging out with you I don't necessarily
that doesn't necessarily have to be activity based okay like we can just sit
in the car and talk or sit on the couch and talk
(34:06):
that feels my knees we catching up and I'm seeing how you doing seeing you
straight we catching up on life stories yeah be friends right it's really not
that hard you know as long as you two are you know y'all got that trust okay and
then so let's say that for example there is you have that you're like you're
(34:27):
keeping up with conversations and just being friends but then like one party
does start filling feelings but the other party does not and so then so then
is it just like you guys just stop being friends you know or is it just like oh
like maybe I'll hang on because I'll probably end up liking me or is it more
like
(34:47):
you want to check right I brought it up cuz I was like I got you I got you fam
it just talk about it we gotta keep on at it yeah it's just that we talked
about this my man Brandon shout out Brandon again behind the camera
why you shout out today Sean but um don't feel mutual if it's like oh like
(35:21):
like a brother or sister and then you were like okay well maybe if this was
like sophomore year of high school I'd be like but I'm at the it's kind of like
can it at it earlier it's like if like we can talk about it if it don't go one
particular way okay cool but at some point if it don't go a particular way
(35:45):
that one person wanted to go I feel like you'd have to ask yourself okay now
this didn't go what I wanted to go do I still really like appreciate and value
this person and my life even if they in that kind of way I guess it really takes
a certain maturity level yeah like I said I'll never say that I'm rare never
like it's okay you're rare every time he's about I'm like I'll tell you you're
(36:08):
rare I'll never like oh yeah I'm like cuz honestly I wouldn't even know is
any of that and unless I started until I didn't even know it was all that until I
started hearing people say that stuff and even then it's not like I was buying
into it off rent but you would have to ask yourself it's like okay do I still
really appreciate this person even though it's not necessarily going out
(36:31):
yeah I still want this person like this person just being there and being
present yeah and even adding on to that though because I feel like sometimes
even if you are mature enough to be like hey like I still want to be friends
regardless like maybe the other party isn't willing to do that so sometimes it
just be like too it goes both ways all right you know cooperation is twofold
(36:51):
so but yeah and then once you answer that question for yourself whatever the
answer is then you just go from there if you really wanted that person to be a
significant other and that's what you really wanted that person to be in your
life and they don't want to be that and you ain't really want to go friendly
(37:12):
because you just keep viewing that person as a as someone that should be in
your eyes your significant other maybe you just gotta like put some distance
okay you know but if if it ain't that big a deal for like a better way to put
it and you still really value the person in your life even though it's not going out well at night
see about being friends I guess okay it's not the way it's a way hashtag transparency we're
(37:40):
gonna be dropping the merch and I'm just kidding every time ah well thank you fan
for sitting in on this feel free to comment please subscribe we please go to
is it forever transparent yeah links to all of that in the description in the
description official website is forever transparent comm there will be a link to
that in the description also links to follow both me and mo on our social
(38:03):
subscribe to the YouTube channel check out the music check out the podcast if
you love the content share it with someone right if you love these
conversations doesn't we gonna get into it on another episode but we we want to
if you let a conversation that we have in like share it because that's one of
the things we want to do yeah it's like provide a safe space to talk about the
(38:24):
things that should be talked about yes more and I'll get more on that on a
different episode okay bye
here we go fam yeah I'm rehearsed back at it again with Mo and DeShawn DeShawn
(00:08):
it's popping. I almost forgot my name.
Okay. But yeah yeah we back unrehearsed you know it ain't an unrehearsed episode of we
don't know how to open this up really clearly unrehearsed episode like we
(00:30):
might not ever get it together fam and that's okay probably not it makes it
really fun actually it does I don't know it's like no pressure right like we just
wing it and I never know what to expect the moment that we press record right
it's like okay how are we gonna like actually segue into the conversation
right without it being awkward awkward I was like today we talked about
(00:52):
platonic hypnotic erotic just kidding we're just rhyming so today we're
talking about platonic platonic platonic however you want to say it
friendships can it be done is it possible this is specifically between
like guys and girls yes pardon me as I'm just making sure everything looks good
(01:17):
but um like as you can see or hear my voice y'all trash right now but that's
okay so we're just gonna keep on checking so if you see my head turn it's
cuz I'm trying not to like die while coughing right platonic relationships
between guys and girls in particularly you know the whole guy and girl best
(01:39):
friends mm-hmm is that a real thing can you actually be best friends how about you just start off
sharing your experience like let's hear it Xavier like have you had a platonic
relationship do you have one now and how is that going I'm sorry I hecka put you
on the spot oh this is perfect one of the reasons I actually wanted to do this
episode first shout out to mo cuz this is actually most thought oh and you know
(02:03):
always got a shout out my people shout out Brandon behind the camera as always
he just manages to get shout out shout it out every episode and my man is just
looking like Mary Poppins right now but um so to answer your question so one of
the reasons why I wanted to do this aside from it just being a nice
(02:24):
conversation the fact that I have so much experience in this okay my best
friend it would be I don't know exactly what it's gonna hit ten years this year
oh wow that's a long that's a whole decade girl it's the woman yeah we went
(02:47):
to we met our freshman year okay and I was high school yeah freshman high school
and I was new to still new to the city I had just moved and I have wrapped up my
eighth grade year in Antioch so I only have been out for like four months okay
(03:10):
four or five months that and we funny thing is her and I never had class
together oh wow so how did y'all actually become friends we became friends
through a mutual friend okay who I was good friends with all four years of high
school as well and we ended up I was in BSU freshman year and part of the S.U.
(03:34):
sorry black student union okay thank you for clarifying yeah I was in black
student union my entire freshman year I was active in high school so I was a
black student union my entire freshman year and then part of my sophomore year
and then I did sports football track for a year the senior year I was a jazz
man you know just got to stay active iron and so we we met through a mutual
(03:56):
friend and then we got real close because we both decided to do BSU together
and yeah we just never had a class well it's like we had lunch then we have the
same lunch or we had BSU and then we just you know connected really well and
then I met her like her parents and my part of her family okay which I was
(04:18):
still like friends and there was like no feelings for each other like in a
romantic sense at all okay we've been in our own and multiple of our own like
separate you know individual relationships with other people while
still maintaining our best friends our best friendship and not like you know
(04:40):
that line was never crossed okay you know what I mean that's interesting yeah
and yeah it makes some people some people don't necessarily feel that way
they feel a little bit more insecure about things okay and I understand it
like insecure in the sense of like okay let's say let's say I'm dating someone
(05:03):
okay oh I was gonna ask I'm glad you brought that up cuz I was that that was
literally a question in my mind of like oh so then whoever you're dating like
were they at all I like that you call it an insecurity
stepping on them y'all go ahead take off your shoes get prepared I gotta like
(05:24):
it's okay I mean like I would agree I definitely do feel like it is an
insecurity thing like I'm glad you said that I just think a lot of people
wouldn't blatantly say it like that nor are they able to like recognize that
it's okay I don't ever be thinking about yet it's gonna go public yeah it's okay
yeah so it's like some people might feel a certain way and obviously we did run
(05:49):
into that okay you did and so how did that affect your relationship being that
y'all were so so close being of the opposite sex but it was never like oh
I'm trying to get at you or I'm like following them up with you I think what
I think it's a couple things one you got to be mature enough to not like you know
(06:10):
you got to be mature enough to handle it okay for one it's you know guys and
girls become friends all the time so it's not like anything new right maybe
social media or something may have a play and just kind of like bringing it
more to the forefront yeah but it's like one just I guess just being like mature
(06:33):
enough and it's a lot of times some of it just comes down to
okay like an honest conversation like what would that look like because I
think that's the other thing I do feel that with platonic relationships there's
that pressure let's be real to kind of like end up together because you know
you have like family you know and everyone's like always dropping that
(06:56):
person's name or like oh what about so-and-so so they almost like get it in
your mind and then you kind of like I'm not gonna lie sometimes like dang I'm
really considering that and I'm just like stop it's been almost 10 years they
still bring her name up right I'm like yo almost married a whole other girl
(07:17):
like they their names to her name was brought up like probably a couple days
ago oh really if it looks like if I if it looks like I'm going to go like
somewhere some sort of special occasion who's the girl this is so it's like
(07:40):
but honest conversation honestly it would just it just looks like a honest
and transparent conversation it's like you know you got it sometimes you might
have to just like so what does that look can you just say it though I feel like
you're trying to go for example like don't don't don't don't be scared to
(08:03):
like is it more like hey like for example it's us yeah let's just play
around like for example we heard it a lot in high school some folks actually
thought we were dating you know for a while and we especially like freshman
year they were we really heard it a lot because we had like met each other
freshman year and after a while you know after you hearing it so often I'm hearing
(08:26):
it on my own we're hearing it together she's hearing it on her own eventually
you're gonna talk about it yeah you know what I mean it's just kind of like just
talk about it like where's your hands at you know as far as each other goes okay
so it's like do you like me like you know have you ever had those thoughts
kind of thing and if you both have had those thoughts it doesn't necessarily
mean that y'all need to pursue it or is it just more of like okay like we know
(08:51):
that we both having those thoughts but like you could you could explore and see
what the curiosity is all about fulfill your curiosity needs but that's just up
to y'all obviously but I would say like have a obviously setting those boundaries
with each other and having an honest conversation and stuff like that and
(09:14):
then when you would just significant other you know it's like also let them
know like hey you know it's for you you know I'm saying it's just friends and
that's it you know I'm saying nothing more and nothing less yeah type joint you
know she chases someone else hey it's just you just gotta be I guess adults
(09:36):
about it okay you know because guys and girls become friends all the time right
it's just natural and there is some sort of natural attraction at work because
you're more likely to become friends with someone that you're attracted to in
some sort of way in some sort of way it doesn't necessarily have to be like a
physical yeah sometimes it's just like certain characteristics where you're
(09:58):
like oh I like that yeah certain personality tracing
characteristics yeah sometimes it starts off with me so-and-so
they look like why so-and-so look you talk to them and you get to know them a
little bit it's like okay it's not going in the romantic kind of way but you
(10:20):
still really value their company yeah and so it's like me ask yourself what
was not going to romantic kind of way but do I still like appreciate this with
this person breaks to my life you gotta be adults about it's just how I've
approached it's not the way but a way so then when you're so for example being
in like a relationship but this isn't what the platonic friend and so to have
(10:43):
whoever like your partner is to kind of be like oh like I don't believe that
like you could be best friends with like a guy for example myself it's like oh I
don't believe that you could be a best friends with the guy like because you're
secretly in love with them and stuff like what do you say to that because it's
like like I don't know what to do I'd be like man if I was like let if I was in
(11:04):
love with just me personally knowing myself and how I typically conduct
myself if I was in love with the girl I'm gonna go see about that okay I'm not
gonna be I'm not going like you're not gonna play around I'm not going date
this one girl but secretly be in love with another Wow that's actually pretty
(11:24):
foul if you think about it yeah it's like I'm not I'm not about to I'm not
about to do that I pride myself on like knowing what's going on on the inside
because I do a lot of journaling and so if you don't you know if you don't like
in some sort of way like figure out what's going on the thoughts that you're
thinking or the feelings that you're feeling whether it's through journaling
(11:45):
or whatever however you do it a lot of stuff has a way of flying under the
radar okay so yeah I'm not like you know I remember I remember one time someone
was someone I was they tried to track the boy up you know what I'm saying
was like no cuz literally females be out here trapping yeah it's scary it tried
to track the boy up then you realize I was in on gang you know what I'm saying so someone was
(12:11):
this old girl I was dating years ago she was a little concerned about it okay but by
that time me and my best friend have been best friends for like four years
okay gotcha four years and ain't nothing that happened four years and she's been
her own separate relationship I was in my own separate relationship nothing that
(12:31):
happened yeah I'm crazy that sneak on the side no sneaky link no nothing it
was just best friends how your mom and them doing yeah like like what I'm at
mom dad sisters like you know I don't met the fam and everything so I'm part
of the fan and so years ago this girl I was dating was she asked the question
(12:54):
she's like how would you feel if I had a guy best friend I was like as long as
press cool okay you're like rare I feel like a lot of guys don't feel that way
at all but then is that an insecurity I didn't mean at first to use the word
is no but that was good it kind of it's like if you if you with someone and you
(13:16):
get nervous around when they're around someone else then it's like okay like you
probably don't entirely trust okay or maybe you know you feel some sort of way
if you feel like you get if you get nervous when you're significant others
around oh wow yeah now perhaps still like what you said I am rare dude
(13:40):
cuz it's like I'm not that kind of dude that's going pull something okay you
know I mean I'm not that kind of dude that's gonna like you know once once
those boundaries and that understanding was set between me and my best friend I
kept those boundaries ten years later you know and we had that honest
(14:01):
conversation and we talked about it just to pick each other's brains and see
where is that and we got real honest and transparent with each other and then
later here we are you know I mean still still best friends stuff like that you
know we still keep up with each other we don't necessarily talk every single day
but like we hit each other up we go see about each other make sure cool when we
(14:24):
link up house how's the family doing house mama I call her mama mama and I've been
doing that since freshman year you know what I mean yeah I remember like one time
I was trying to link up with my best friend and something happened she
wasn't able to link so I just pulled over to her house cuz she's still at home
folks so I pulled over to her house and I just sat down with her mom and her older
(14:45):
sister and I just talked and we just talked it up you know what I mean so
maybe I am a bit rare I don't know I will never say that I'm rare oh it's okay
I'll say it for you you're you and others have said that I will never say
that about myself I think it's just cuz your sense of maturity with it is just
cuz you're only I don't know are we like dropping ages is that okay the world no
(15:08):
okay great hopefully well I'm 23 years 23 I'm 26 and so I know I was gay Doria
everyone's always like you look like you're 18 and I was like black no crack
let's go so yeah but DeShawn is 23 and so even as a 23 year old like it's so
(15:29):
rare to like find young men who are as mature as you like in your level of
thinking like in in your mindset no I'm serious any your mindset so for you to
even like be able to say like oh I've had a 10 year long platonic relationship
with my best friend who's a girl and like nothing has happened and we've had
conversations and things like that so what would you say to the person that
(15:50):
scared to have that conversation because I do feel like there are people like
there is the side of like oh we set boundaries and we're just friends but
then there also is the other side of like you we really do be liking each
other but like we really not doing nothing about it and it's just like
we've had conversations but like nothing has gone anywhere so this oh it's just
like so in this question they've already had the honest conversation and just
(16:12):
haven't made that step to make something correct so then do you stay friends with
them or do you not see friends with them so not that I'm saying both admitted
that he like it that they like each other yeah go for it like oh what if one
party is just kind of like playing around the other party is like I'm
starting a series right now that's a whole separate thing like okay you gotta
(16:35):
guard your heart as the Bible says out here I think what does it say like for
out of it comes like the issues of life yeah paraphrasing yeah if someone's
playing then that's a different conversation because you've got to make
sure that you don't get played in the process okay but then do you say friends
with that person you know what I mean because it's like the relationship is
already because the relationship has already been there for a long time
(17:02):
thank you so yeah so it's like the relationship has been there for a long
time but there has never just been that initiation on one side of the party have
they've been playing that throughout the length of the bond I would say so yes
recurring pattern yes you might have to take them for what they are and not what
(17:24):
they could be oh talk about that you might can you say that one more time for
the people and for myself you might you might have to take them for what they
are and not what they could be meaning like don't and I've done this before I'm
guilty guilty but like don't in that case don't like go for what they could
(17:51):
be like for potential okay what they are in the moment that's what I personally
would do it's not a way is it's not the way it's a way yeah that might be a line
I'll say repeatedly throughout this podcast yeah yeah cuz it's like you know
people have and I understand it cuz me with the business and with my own life
(18:15):
it requires me to have long-term vision I have to be able to see like there's
stuff I do now because I know how I was gonna benefit years ahead like for
example I rarely I didn't really give myself a break in school because I know
that if I kept going and going I could get done really fast yeah not finished a
(18:36):
year a whole year early and so like if I didn't do that I'd still be in school
right now right probably wouldn't be shooting this podcast so doing that opens
up the door for a lot of things I knew that at the start so darn well I'm gonna
say you was talking about showing people oh yeah like long-term vision so yeah
just I typically have long-term vision over just about everything but when it
(19:02):
comes to people and especially when it comes to people is cuz like I remember I
told a can't remember who I told this but I told someone I was like fairly
recently I actually said this I told someone it's like sometimes I'll see a
person's potential before I really know entirely of what they are right now I
actually think you told me that that's I think it was probably told you you said
(19:23):
I was like oh you told me that okay it maybe maybe it was you but when it comes
to like feelings and just people in general it's like yeah people we have
potential but you always got to look at okay where what are they right now Wow
you know so if and I guess in this case if the person has been repeatedly playing
(19:44):
throughout the years you probably don't want to bank on them okay changing okay
anytime so not saying that they can't get back together because everyone can
grow and change yeah growing and change a lot but you know if you were to get
involved and then you get played you do what you were signing up for yes you
(20:06):
know what I mean you have plenty you had a large enough sample size and long
enough time to figure out what it is that you could do yeah me personally
that's how I would roll because you know and I like I said I'm guilty I've done
that before where it's like I see yeah I see the person but I'm also seeing what
I know that they they could end up being yeah and you know when people don't meet
(20:31):
that expectation because they just don't do what they want to do then you would
laugh hurt and disappointed man yeah you want to quote say the quote I know you
want to say what you told me yesterday where you were like high expectations oh
oh what did I say that that was fire I say you said high expectations sets you
(20:53):
up for great disappointments that's what you told me something like that I don't
know if I said it exactly like that but oh something like like great
disappointment is usually due to high expectations not being met yeah that's
just life so yeah then it comes to that when it comes to that kind of scenario
(21:16):
if someone's playing then it's like get defensive you know guard yourself because
you don't want to get caught up in the mix it's like you know so you ever see
like a cartoon you're like oh the old cartoons where they fighting and it's
like they fight but it's like smoke and dust and you can't actually see them
fight yeah then they go in and they go in and it makes you know someone gets
trapped in in there and next you know they in it too yeah oh that's heca
(21:39):
funny I was beautiful we needed that imagery I was like oh yes yeah at least
that's how I pictured it so okay yeah I say guy and girl best friends are
completely possible it all depends on the character of the both of you the
both of you not just one person but both of you yeah and you know if at some
(22:05):
point if it's cough calls for it having that yeah conversation because there's a
natural guy and girl dynamic at work where it's like you know everybody wants
love so if you all you need yeah so like you're if you're a guy and then you
connect with a girl she's really cool and you guys are really like gelling and
bonding and stuff like shelling gelling together okay those thoughts might be in
(22:31):
the back of your mind like hmm with this I wonder if this could go here
okay she's straight okay she like yeah and so those thoughts might actually
come to your mind yeah so then it's not the way it's a way we're gonna make a
shirt it's not the way it's a way hashtag transparency like new words
(22:57):
gonna be dropping in October okay I would say that because when you're
talking all I kept thinking of was just like I wouldn't say so much social I
wouldn't say I wouldn't say like so much social media but it more makes me think
of just like film because I don't think that that insecurity is of like feeling
(23:20):
like you can't have a platonic relationship when you're in a
relationship or even when you're not like just having a platonic relationship I
feel that a lot of that has to do with just movies if I'm being honest like I'm
just thinking about films and just how many times in the films you know they'd
be like oh yeah like you know I'm married to let's say I'm married to Gus
you know and my best friend Gina is like oh yeah like Gina and Gus like they're
(23:44):
so close to you know and then in the movie it's like they end up having like
an affair or something and you're like what and then you know all the women are
like girl I could have told you that you know because they're like so close and
stuff so I do feel that like media and just in general just hearing stories
from like family members and things like that can like almost like plant that
seed of like insecurity or that seed of doubt like there's no way like there's
(24:08):
no way that you could still be best friends with this person and like not
do anything yeah it's like people are waiting for the
shoe to drop they're like there's no way like you say this but like there's no
human being on earth literally literally like it's like there's no human being on
earth that has ever had a platonic relationship and it's never like been
anything else you know and so yeah yeah I think movies play a part in it
(24:32):
especially American movies because like I think I probably said this on one of
our previous episodes the romance the romance part of romance was
romanticized yo romance part of love yeah but um and they it does things are
done in film just for it to make like a good product yeah but I think then the
(24:54):
problem was that is we see that and we soak up that product in that content
and then we go out and kind of like start to expect that yeah that's like so
true also it makes me think where you gonna say something like yes yes yeah I
was like what okay yes yes but no um but I was just gonna add because then it
(25:18):
made me think of like what does love really mean because I think a lot of
times I said girl I'm a day Sean I was like what's your name who are you I feel
like my grandma was like every name by your own okay but um it just made me
think of like what does love really mean what does it really mean to like not so
(25:39):
much be in love but to love somebody especially somebody of like the opposite
sex because in America in general like in this Western world that we live in
like sex it just sex sells you know and it's so like such a hypersexual culture
and so like a lot of times we associate love with sex so then it's like I think
that also can make it very hard for us to have healthy and real and genuine
(26:03):
authentic like non-sexual non-romantic relationships with the opposite sex
yeah we talking we talking love in terms of like a romantic relationship no just in general because I
mean like it's hard to like I feel like a lot of times in society like it's hard
to be like oh yeah like I love this dude and you're not family right like you're
not filming you're just friends and then people and then you know it's like it's
(26:25):
hard to I guess like for a lot of people to like stay in that relationship and
like not for their mind to like go to like oh romantic romantic romantic just
because it's like so yeah and I feel like kind of like like you said society
setting up that expectation of like oh like if you're in a relationship with
opposite sex you know it's just like it has to be something you know something
(26:48):
think it cool right like I feel like Cinderella no Beauty and the Beast
where it's like there may be something there that wasn't there before like
literally that's how I feel like society makes you feel about platonic
relationship I mean there's different types of love there's the romantic love
and then there's like the family love and then like a brotherly friendly love type of thing
(27:10):
I mean even with the romantic love I feel like if you for example take away
like the sex in a romantic relationship like what makes it romantic then what
makes it romantic like without the sex
that is a good question for some married folk
okay you right you right
(27:34):
okay I love you did you he drop that in there
not that's obviously not saying that sex is all that makes it romantic I think
what's good to like know like your love languages I mean quality time is good if
that's like your love language quality time whatever that acts of service words
(27:56):
of affirmation what's the other one physical touch yeah it's just the thing
with relationships these days because we don't do a God's Way and a lot of us
come from broken homes yeah we a lot of a lot of relationships these days the
(28:19):
thing that's like keeping it somewhat going is sex whatever that chemistry is
as far as that goes yeah and the moment that is removed or the moment is that
part that move is over wow come on can I just make a side note so there's this
girl her name is a Johnny rain she's hilarious but she had like this video
(28:42):
and she's like hey this is your older this is your Christian cousin and
Johnny you see that yo but it was the part where she was like let's start off
with the person's like sex is for poor people I was like yo she coming in
strong but it had me so weak anyways I just thought about that first one had me
(29:02):
so weak I was like no but she right she's like only poor people have sex and
I was like okay rich folk ain't doing that right I can attest to that that's
like a bunny but yeah I just think that like you said things are hyper hyper
sexualized these days and so they mesh the concept of love and acts of sex
(29:27):
together yeah you know and you know a lot of times people
conversation but a lot of times I guess man okay so I've experienced things in
just the dating pool where it's like you be swimming deep where whereas I've
(29:54):
experienced moments where the girl feels weird because I wasn't quick like I
wasn't trying to do that I was trying to say that stuff for marriage talk about sex
oh okay I was like lost my what okay like they feel weird they feel like yeah
remember I dated one girl and she literally her insecurities really showed
(30:16):
because I wasn't like because I told her not to sin like no was it that no
because I wasn't like touching up on her like sexually like trying to initiate
something and I'm like trying to say that for marriage because you know stuff
could happen and it's God's way to save her marriage and then like she literally
(30:37):
was like almost like she almost in a way was like dang do we really even like
like like me isn't that crazy yo that's like a real thing though like you're
saying and I'm like no like that's like I was starting to a kind of this was
(30:57):
years ago so I think I was probably still in high school and I was like starting to
count all of that stuff I was like what yeah I come like my parents have been
married not come from a Christian household my parents been married over
30 years like I didn't come up that way you know I mean we wasn't taught that
so when I heard that I'm over here thinking like man I'm really trying to
(31:19):
know you I want to do things right and do a God's way I'm gonna save her
marriage and she's like you won't save marriage you must not know now just you
must not like really like like that you must not really be attracted yeah wow
that's like very two opposing ideas right there right but yeah it's wild out here
it is out here you gotta you gotta be y'all gotta be chill up in those dating
(31:43):
pools yeah it was like that tie really be trying to bring you in like I think
as far as like to answer because I think you asked a question about like well then
what is love then yeah in a general sense not necessarily romantic right
kind of starting to get a bit chilly out here it's a little cold a little windy I
think it's just I mean you know like like I guess the term is what a common
(32:06):
love or just like just you know treating others how you want to be treated that's
like first Corinthians 13 maybe yeah that's like love that is most basic form
it's like I wouldn't run up on you and pop you upside the head aggressively
please don't do that to me right you know you got love and respect for your boy even if
you don't really know me like that to me and then as far as like I guess as far
(32:32):
as the friendship goes yeah just you know it's not much different like just
look out for one another okay and is it just having healthy conversations I
guess that's what we can like end with so having a healthy platonic relationship
in today's society just considering all the things that we've already discussed
it will look like one like y'all having those open conversations of like where
(32:56):
is your head at in our relationship and where is my head at yeah just to get
that part squared away okay if necessary okay sometimes it ain't necessary you
know what I mean but if if it calls for that in my experience it called for it
get that squared away when you know honest conversation between the two of
y'all and then like don't overthink things just be friends yo over thinking
(33:19):
no for real cuz I used to really be reading between the lines and stuff and
then they'd be like nah and I'm like yo it was all in my head like I was just
really deep thinking that okay
movies we went to movies just us we've had a group of our friends come with us
we've food and get dinner a bunch of times sometimes now I hate to sound old
(33:45):
oh here we go I'm about to sound older than my age but now we've reached the
age where at least I've heard I've reached the stage personally where it's
like I don't necessarily like if I'm hanging out with you I don't necessarily
that doesn't necessarily have to be activity based okay like we can just sit
in the car and talk or sit on the couch and talk
(34:06):
that feels my knees we catching up and I'm seeing how you doing seeing you
straight we catching up on life stories yeah be friends right it's really not
that hard you know as long as you two are you know y'all got that trust okay and
then so let's say that for example there is you have that you're like you're
(34:27):
keeping up with conversations and just being friends but then like one party
does start filling feelings but the other party does not and so then so then
is it just like you guys just stop being friends you know or is it just like oh
like maybe I'll hang on because I'll probably end up liking me or is it more
like
(34:47):
you want to check right I brought it up cuz I was like I got you I got you fam
it just talk about it we gotta keep on at it yeah it's just that we talked
about this my man Brandon shout out Brandon again behind the camera
why you shout out today Sean but um don't feel mutual if it's like oh like
(35:21):
like a brother or sister and then you were like okay well maybe if this was
like sophomore year of high school I'd be like but I'm at the it's kind of like
can it at it earlier it's like if like we can talk about it if it don't go one
particular way okay cool but at some point if it don't go a particular way
(35:45):
that one person wanted to go I feel like you'd have to ask yourself okay now
this didn't go what I wanted to go do I still really like appreciate and value
this person and my life even if they in that kind of way I guess it really takes
a certain maturity level yeah like I said I'll never say that I'm rare never
like it's okay you're rare every time he's about I'm like I'll tell you you're
(36:08):
rare I'll never like oh yeah I'm like cuz honestly I wouldn't even know is
any of that and unless I started until I didn't even know it was all that until I
started hearing people say that stuff and even then it's not like I was buying
into it off rent but you would have to ask yourself it's like okay do I still
really appreciate this person even though it's not necessarily going out
(36:31):
yeah I still want this person like this person just being there and being
present yeah and even adding on to that though because I feel like sometimes
even if you are mature enough to be like hey like I still want to be friends
regardless like maybe the other party isn't willing to do that so sometimes it
just be like too it goes both ways all right you know cooperation is twofold
(36:51):
so but yeah and then once you answer that question for yourself whatever the
answer is then you just go from there if you really wanted that person to be a
significant other and that's what you really wanted that person to be in your
life and they don't want to be that and you ain't really want to go friendly
(37:12):
because you just keep viewing that person as a as someone that should be in
your eyes your significant other maybe you just gotta like put some distance
okay you know but if if it ain't that big a deal for like a better way to put
it and you still really value the person in your life even though it's not going out well at night
see about being friends I guess okay it's not the way it's a way hashtag transparency we're
(37:40):
gonna be dropping the merch and I'm just kidding every time ah well thank you fan
for sitting in on this feel free to comment please subscribe we please go to
is it forever transparent yeah links to all of that in the description in the
description official website is forever transparent comm there will be a link to
that in the description also links to follow both me and mo on our social
(38:03):
subscribe to the YouTube channel check out the music check out the podcast if
you love the content share it with someone right if you love these
conversations doesn't we gonna get into it on another episode but we we want to
if you let a conversation that we have in like share it because that's one of
the things we want to do yeah it's like provide a safe space to talk about the
(38:24):
things that should be talked about yes more and I'll get more on that on a
different episode okay bye
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