December 1, 2024 • 51 mins
Pastor Trent is joined in this week's episode by media assistant Kara and they discuss all things wedding. Kara interviews Trent on the process of officiating a marriage and they have fun discussions along the way. Tune in this week for a lighthearted episode of Unsexy Church!
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast.
I'm in the studio with Karatoday, so Pastor Bob is gone
Technically not gone.
Well, he just left, so I guesshe is gone.
He went to head to a soccergame in Sefner Valrico, as he's
a assistant soccer coach withCambridge Christian School.
(00:28):
Go Lancers and they're hopingfor a win tonight.
But it's Thursday afternoon,bob is gone, and so I am
recording an episode with justKara today.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's me.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Not just Kara, but just just Kara in the room.
It's just Kara.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Well, it's just Kara.
No one's super exciting.
No, no, it's just Kara, butit's not just Kara.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I feel like it's just Kara and it's just Kara.
It's just Trent here, but it'snot just Trent.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I think the inflection changes the intention
.
Well, hey, how are you?
I'm doing.
Well, how are you?
Trent?
Big event coming in three days,you will be a married woman.
Yeah, you will no longer be afiance, but a wife.
How wild is that.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
That's crazy, it's three days.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Let's go, jaden.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
You'll be Kara Smith.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I will be Only the most exciting last name.
Your phone world.
Your phone ring.
Yes, is it a wedding thing?
Do you need to take it?
No, you're good, you're sure.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, it was only Jordan wait so well, hey, yes,
three days from now you will bemarried.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I will be, and the reception is also in Valrico
that's right, not too far fromour house.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I don't think I don't know the exact address, I have
to look it up, but but we're inSlephner, valerico area just
outside of Tampa, so are younervous?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I am excited, I'm thrilled, I'm giddy.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Are you, I am all the things Like anxious, like in a
good way, like I wished it wastoday.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I wish I don't wish it was today, because there's
things that need to happen, butI'm like so excited for it, yeah
.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So it'll be Jaden Smith and Kara Smith.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Jaden Smith, like Will Smith's son Same name,
different personality there yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
But, hey.
I hey, I have a fact.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
What's your fact?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Chad.
Did you know that the length ofan animal's yawn is actually
directly correlated to how bigtheir brain is?
How large their brain is, sothe longer they yawn, supposedly
the bigger the brain?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I got a big brain.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So how long does it take you toyawn?
So scientists hypothesize thatyawning acts as a mechanism to
cool the brain by increasingblood flow, and larger brains of
course require longer yawns toachieve the cooling effect of
their brain.
So studies analyzing a widerange of mammals and birds have
found this correlation to beconsistent across different
(03:01):
species.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
That's so cool.
I'm going to measure next timeyou yawn Wait.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
How long can I make a yawn gif?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'm going to measure your yawn, darren's yawn, pastor
Bob's yawn and Ben's yawn andOlivia's yawn and compare all
your yawns to one another andsee who's the most biggest
brained intellectual ministerialperson on our staff.
I don't understand yawnstotally biggest brained
intellectual ministerial personon our staff.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So honestly, I don't understand yawns totally like,
okay, it's a cooling mechanism,sure, sure, sure.
But the weird, like somethingweird about yawning to me is, if
you see someone yawn, it'sreally hard not to yawn.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
But you never think.
You would have never thoughtabout yawning before seeing them
.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, that's an odd thing.
You might not even be tired, Ithink.
Maybe you just see themselveslike relaxing their body and
just enjoying a yawn.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yawns are so nice, it's like a sneeze, it's just
like you know, but stopping ayawn, that's so upsetting, like
stepping on Legos yeah, it'sawful, it's kind of.
Have you ever had someone likedo the thing like?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
as a joke, where you stick their finger in your mouth
when you.
I do that to other people.
Oh, my favorite thing to do.
Awful, so irritating to people.
Awful, I love to be irritating.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, it's not cool.
Yeah, I would like to know howthat thing happens, where it's
like you yawn, someone elseyawns, someone else yawns.
It's like a yawning effect inthe room.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Yeah, Like dominoes.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Something.
Another interesting, strange,trent.
Now, there is a differencethere.
So if I sneeze because I'mwalking outside and the sun is
bright which is a typical thingthat I do, and it's a typical
thing or is a thing you know,people have that
hypersensitivity to the sunwhere, if it's too bright, they
sneeze.
I do that every time I walkoutside if I've been inside for
a while, but if I'm just likesneezing because I don't know
(04:49):
something in the room, I can'tstop sneezing for a while.
So you're just like Not thatfast, oh, for about four minutes
though.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Okay, and.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I'm in between sneezing, blowing my nose,
sneezing again, blowing my nose,sneezing again.
I have a sneezing fit.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Okay, it's awful.
I hate it so much.
Thanks for sharing with theclass.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, my wife doesn't understand it.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Not on either.
I wish I could just stopsneezing when I start sneezing,
but I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
So you know we all have our problems in this world,
and just the one that's beenallotted to you, trent, not a
fan of that one, you're a burdento bear.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What's like a pet peeve to you.
What's some pet peeve?
I'm thinking of noses andmouths.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I hate it when people sneeze nonstop like back to
back to back to back.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I am always like super self-conscious about my
breath and my breath, thinkingso I have mints almost
everywhere I go, anytime Itravel, and I'm speaking, when
you speak your mouth gets dryand so like immediately have bad
breath and you have people comeback and ask you questions and
you're like I'm just, I'm sorry,please stand six feet away from
me from when you're askingquestions.
(05:54):
So, I have mints in my pocket.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, the bot like I feel like body odor and bad
breath.
Those are just it's, it's hard,it's rough.
Those are just the things aboutlife that are.
You know, they just stick out.
But other like pet peeves, likein general that people do, I
can't really think of one at themoment.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I feel like it takes a lot to irritate me, people
that click their pens or clicktheir fingers.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
That doesn't even bother me that much.
That bother you no.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
People burping out loud.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I feel like that only bothers me Really.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Ben burps out loud all the time.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I think it's so funny if it's just like out in the
world in a setting, but like ifone of my siblings is next to me
and does that, I'm like you'rethe most disgusting individual
to ever exist.
Or like farts or anything, Ifany of my siblings ever like
toots sorry, it's okay, we can.
We can bleep that out if needed.
But if, if any of my umsiblings ever expresses any
(06:54):
bodily anything, I always lookat them like they're the most
disgusting person ever.
It's just more irritating whenit's I don't know, for some
reason, about you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I know you have a lot of opinions.
It's the breath thing.
It's the breath thing.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, yeah, you know there's few people that have
just like body odor that yousmell around them, right.
That's not like I know.
Like I'd be very surprised if Ihave body odor than the amount
of deodorant and like spraystuff I use because I don't want
to stink, but like breath, likeit doesn't last a long time,
right, like you eat something oryou drink something and your
(07:28):
breath could smell again, and soI like always have meds.
It's just a thing.
So okay, okay.
We are going to I don't have aquestion today, but it's kind of
a question we are going to rankcakes ranking rank.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
R I N K cakes C.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
A K E S ranking cakes .
I already cakes Rank R-I-N-K.
Cakes C-A-K-E-S.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Ranking cakes.
I already know what I'm doinghere.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Well, hold on, let's let the listeners hear what kind
of cakes we're going to rank.
So there are a number ofdifferent flavors of cake.
There are also a number ofdifferent types of cake.
We're primarily going to lookat types of cake here, although
a couple of them might beconsidered flavor changes.
(08:10):
So here we go a bunt cake,b-u-n-d-t-s bunts or b-u-n-d-t
bunt cakes, fruit cake, andthey're like, uh, fruit cake and
like fruit cake a thing forlike christmas, people will get
that fruit cakes, fruit cakes
Speaker 3 (08:19):
but no one ever eats them.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, cheese, cheesecake, cheesecake funnel
cake yeah birthday cake which islike the typical cake cookie
cake, carrot cake, germanchocolate cake, pineapple dump
cake, angel food cake and coffeecake that's a lot of cakes,
that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
You put a lot on this .
Speaker 1 (08:41):
It is so let's start with ranking some of the worst.
So what would be the worst oneon this list to you?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So I put like no for immediately, very many of these.
Okay, I'm going to say no.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
What's the worst.
So how many are there?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,11.
11.
What's number?
11?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
11?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Probably fruitcake, fruitcake's definitely 11 yeah,
if you pick anything else, Idon't know like, because some of
these can be good, but ingeneral, are bad for example
pineapple dump cake that's 10 ingeneral, it's bad.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Have I had a good one before?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
sure, yeah, maybe but still on this list but yeah,
yeah okay, so that's 10.
What's nine?
It's got to be carrot cake,right.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I was also going to say that I like carrot cake.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, but on this list it's nine.
Yeah, yeah, it's got to be nine, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I feel so bad saying that, because some carrot cakes
are so good, but in generalthey're just so sweet and I
don't enjoy them very much.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
So birthday cake is probably next for me.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I would agree with that.
I'm not a birthday cake fan.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
So that's eight.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That's crazy, okay, so here's the thing with.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Trent, I think you're going to start disagreeing with
me here.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I don't know that.
I know what angel food cake is.
Oh is that the?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
so I actually like that.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What's angel food cake.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It's like a fluffier kind of cake.
It's very light.
It's I wouldn't say it's like avanilla cake, but it's just
very light.
People usually will get littlepieces of it and dip it in
chocolate or there will bestrawberries or something else
on it.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Okay, my next few are going to be German, not in this
order, but I know it's going tobe German.
Chocolate, angel food and Bundtcakes are all going to be my
next few.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I've got to narrow them down.
That's messed up.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So I think I'm going to go.
I'm not a Bundt cake fan.
Are you a Bundt cake fan?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
What even is that again?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's the one that's like round it's round and it's
also round.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Are they usually dry?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
They're, no, they're like usually wet.
They taste wet.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Okay, yeah, we can do that one next.
Okay, we'll go Bundt cakes next.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So not eight, nine, seven I'm gonna go angel food
six.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That's crazy I'm gonna go angel food six I'm
gonna go german chocolate nofive.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
No, I will come back to you.
I'm gonna go coffee four.
I'm gonna do cookie three.
I'm gonna do funnel cake twoand cheesecake one.
I'm'm a big cheesecake fan.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, cheesecake is a good time All right.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So what are you going ?
We started disagree there, soyou went bunt cake.
Seven what are you going?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Six Bunt cake seven, six.
So I cookie.
Cake is just a cookie, so Idon't feel like that even
belongs.
I like cookies too, but cookieis not even cake, so I don't
feel like that even belongs.
I like cookies too, but cookieis not even cake, so to me it
doesn't even belong on this list.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I hated birthday cakes growing up, never liked
them, thought the icing wasalways like way too like sweet
or something, and so I would docookie cakes up until like
eighth grade and then Idiscovered cheesecake was a
thing, and then I was like, oh,this beats cookie cake.
So that's, I mean a cookie cakefan, but I just think funnel
cakes are just awesome.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So, okay, yeah, funnel cakes are great, I'm
gonna do, I'm gonna docheesecake as number one no,
it's number one number one I'mgoing backwards now because I
don't know how to, because Iknow the ones that I really like
, and so the other ones are justgonna fall in line have you had
a cheesecake from the sea house?
I can't say I have, but I havebeen to the Seahouse.
Yeah, I gotta try it.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Best cheesecake is at the Seahouse.
Salted caramel is the bestcheesecake I've ever had.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Let me see, because I would rather have coffee cake
than cookie cake.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Coffee cake was four for me.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I like coffee cake One two, it'll be three for me.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
I could maybe switch, switch the cookie cake there
and then, and then four is gonnabe funnel cake, five is cookie
cake and then six will be.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, I guess what was?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
two angel food cake two is german chocolate cake oh,
no, no are we thinking of thesame thing?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
it's just like, like chocolate, chocolate on
chocolate.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Oh my gosh, I love chocolate.
Maybe because I'm a woman,Trent.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Jessie would pick that.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, she would pick that Sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So we're going to do a countdown Least favorite to
favorite.
I'll go first, you go second.
Okay, all right.
So first is theapple dump cake.
Carrot cake.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Birthday cake, bunt cake Okay, we're getting
somewhere.
Angel food cake, that's softGerman chocolate cake.
Chocolate's fine Coffee cake.
Love me, some coffee and thecinnamon.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Are you thinking coffee cake isn't flavored like
coffee?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
no, it just goes with coffee cinnamon yeah, it's
pretty cool, uh, cookie cake.
I like me some cookies, um, youknow what I've never had.
So white chocolate macadamianut cookies are my favorite but,
most cookie cakes are chocolatechip.
I'd like to have a whitechocolate macadamia cookie cake
I bet public's would do it foryou.
Probably.
And then we get to funnel cake.
Silver Dollar City reminds meof that.
(13:51):
And then cheesecake, chocolatechip cheesecake or salted
caramel cheesecake from theSeahouse.
All right, come on, all right.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
So, you're up.
I got to say fruit cake,pineapple dump.
I gotta say fruitcake,pineapple dump.
Cake.
Mid carrot cake, birthday cake.
I can't count Bundt cake.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You didn't put numbers on it, I did, but it's
hard for me to count backwards,maybe I'm just silly.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Okay, bundt cake, then angel food cake, then
cookie cake, then funnel cake.
Yeah, then coffee cake, thenGerman check cake, and then
cheesecake Cheesecake does win.
Cheesecake does win Becausethere's no other, it's so good,
yeah, yeah, and then cheesecakeCheesecake does win Because
there's no other.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It's so good.
Yeah, it is.
So.
Make sure Jaden takes you tothe Seahouse and make sure you
get a salted caramel piece ofcheesecake.
Oh, we will.
It's the best.
It's the best, okay.
Topic of the day.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
So speaking of cake, Wedding cake.
Wedding cake.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, so let's jump right into the topic.
You're going to lead this partof the conversation.
I shall.
You came up with questions aboutwedding ceremonies Because
you're getting married, you'vebeen through the premarital
counseling process, you and yourhusband future husband, I
should say have been through thecounseling process with me and
my wife, and so you got to heara little bit of some thoughts
(15:13):
about marriage, but we alsoworked on the wedding ceremony.
So I thought you know what, whydon't you ask some questions
about wedding ceremonies to apastor who's done a number of
them?
I've certainly not done as manyas Bob, because of course more
years Because of you know howold he is More years, more years
as a pastor, more time to doweddings.
You're religious, but I've donea number of weddings.
(15:35):
Years as a pastor, more time todo weddings, but I've done a
number of weddings and so Ithought, yeah, let's talk about
it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, all right.
So we're going to start in thisepisode about wedding
ceremonies.
I think we've done a podcastabout weddings, you and Bob have
About weddings.
Yeah, about weddings in generaland what it looks like for you
to prepare for a wedding andwhatnot, and so I guess this can
be a part two in some sense tothat.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Did you know?
I did a wedding one time, um,where all the guys were wearing
uh, camo and all the camo, liketuxes, and the ladies were
wearing it was either like theorange right.
Pink or a bright red.
It was a very bright color.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You went to a wedding like that.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I offic to a wedding like that.
I officiated a wedding likethat.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
You're about to go to another one.
Are you guys wearing camo,jaden and all his?
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
You know, like you know, he was a hunter, and
that's just kind of what theylike.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
What if I was so offended?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Offended by what?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Because you were judging the camo.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
No, and in Missouri a lot of people hunt.
You see those online thatpeople do that, but you don't
see that very often.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You don't see camo suits very often.
You saw it, I did.
I was a part of a wedding, irl.
Yeah, it was a marriage thatyou blessed, amen, yeah.
Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
All right, what questions do you have?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Okay, sorry.
So for the first question, justas an officiant, what?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
does a wedding day typically look like for you?
Okay, so you're probably gonnaask some of these questions in
the future, but there's not onewedding experience fits all, so
it depends on when the weddingstarting.
The wedding is starting atthree, like yours is, yeah, and
we'll say it's on a Saturday,even though this is unique that
it's on like yours is, and we'llsay it's on a Saturday, even
though this is unique, that it'son a Sunday.
We'll just act like it's on aSaturday Most weddings are, but
(17:21):
I say that because I wouldalready be here at the church in
this occasion and so I'll stayat the church.
But if a wedding happens atthree o'clock in the afternoon
or two o'clock in the afternoon,I'll come a couple hours early
just to make sure everything isset and ready to go.
Here at our church we have anumber of other people that are
turning on screens and openingthe doors and hosting the ladies
who are potentially gettingready for the occasion at the
(17:43):
venue.
Different weddings call fordifferent ways in which people
get ready for them, so theladies are usually getting ready
at 7 am for a 3 o'clock wedding.
The guys are still sleeping.
They might start getting readyat 11 or noon, maybe after they
eat, even Hannah's got a hen.
Okay, have you heard that?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
No, Like fluff, their feathers and stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
No, I didn't know that.
No, so guys don't have to dothe makeup and the hair
typically right.
Their hair is what their hairalways is, which probably takes
them five minutes if that.
And getting dressed is justabout pulling up your britches
and putting on your shirt, right, so there's just a few more
shirts you wear.
So I get there a couple hoursearly.
I'll go over my notes, I'llcheck in with the groom and the
(18:29):
groom's men, anything you guysneed, and yeah, that's pretty
much.
It Pretty easy.
If there's a weddingcoordinator, I'll check in with
them.
Hey, what am I missing?
What do you guys need from me?
I usually ask the questionwhere's the marriage certificate
?
Just to make sure we have it.
I've got some funny storieswith that.
But yeah.
(18:52):
For me, nothing starts reallyuntil about 30 minutes before
the wedding, where I'm with thegrooms.
Groom, um, praying with thegroomsmen typically, yeah, uh,
and I'm just making sure thatthey know.
Hey, about 30 minutes to showtime.
Uh, groom is probably going towalk out with me.
Grooms men go over there andget with the bridesmaids or be
where the bridesmaids are in 20minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Is that something that you typically do is go to
the groom and the groom's andpray with them?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, almost everybody I've done.
Yeah, that's very nice.
I let them have their spacebecause, like, it depends on if
I know the groom or the groom'sbeen well, if I know them well,
I might hang out with them alittle bit.
I don't know them so much.
I'll let them have some space.
I usually know the groom, um,but sometimes they'll have
family members that they don'tget to regularly see.
So I don't want to interferewith that.
Just relationship dynamic, likeif they have to entertain me
(19:39):
for some reason.
So I'll come in at some pointin time and pray with them.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Okay, so then the ceremony starts.
And then what are you?
What are you thinking?
Uh as you were in the center ofthe stage.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I'm thinking.
No one's probably staring at meand so I'm usually not too
nervous at all.
Right, I've thought throughdiligently many times what I'm
going to say during a wedding totry to keep it brief but keep
it biblical and gospel-centered,and so I've kind of got a
rhythm of what I say when I sayit.
So I'm not thinking too muchabout that.
(20:14):
I'm looking at the groom a lot,making sure he's bending his
knees about that.
I'm looking at the groom a lot,making sure he's bending his
knees genuinely.
I'm looking at the groom so hedoesn't faint.
I'm looking at the groom, lookat the bride you get like an up
close view.
You're like right there it'sthe back of the head side of the
face.
But yeah, I do watch that I getto look at the bride is as
(20:35):
quickly.
I get to look at the bride asquickly as he gets to look at
the bride.
So I'm seeing the bride, I'mseeing the groom, I'm seeing the
bride, I'm scanning my eyes.
How are they reacting?
How are they looking at eachother?
Because I can see that she'slooking at him.
Yeah, sometimes, before thebride comes out, I'll whisper.
So I whisper a couple of timeson stage.
(20:56):
People can hear that I'll sayshe's about to come, you can do
this, or I'll say something likethat.
I don't know, if you hear thatshe's about to come out, you can
do this, or make sure you bendyour knees Right, or it's almost
time.
I'll say some things like thatso they can hear into the grooms
.
Yeah, so.
So I don't whisper into the ear, but we're both in the stage,
distanced from people, and so if, if, I know the groom.
(21:19):
I'll say some playful thingslike that that's like just to
try to calm them down a littlebit.
You know, um, the truth is I'mgoing to be doing most of the
the work of the order and so ifI can kind of calm his nerves,
he gets just to see hisbeautiful wife come out and gets
to stand by his beautiful wife,and if I can try to calm his
nerves, I'll try to calm hisnerves.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
So, during the wedding ceremony, what are some
scriptures that you typicallygravitate towards to explain the
marriage to the audience andwhat's going on Like while
you're giving the message I knowa lot of people talk about?
You know Genesis 2, 124.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Well, don't take it, we'll talk about you know.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Genesis 2, 1-24, ecclesiastes, just some
scriptures like 1 Corinthiansand whatnot about love, I don't
know.
There's a bunch that I've heardin weddings.
Which ones do you usually useto?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
explain the message and everything.
Yeah.
So two passages primarily.
I don't have it in front of me,but two primary passages are
Genesis 2, where God creates theman and for the first time he
says not good.
He creates the woman and hesays very good, looking at all
of his creation.
And so there was something thatthe man lacked, he was
(22:29):
deficient.
He created a counterpart, apart of the man who was his
counterpart, so that he mightproperly enjoy the life that God
had given him and glorify theLord.
And so you can say, okay, manneeds woman for marriage, and
(22:53):
that is true if you're going toget married, a man and a woman.
But also in the world that Godhas created us to cultivate,
there are gifts that women havethat are unique and different to
men, and so a man does not haveto be married to honor the Lord
.
Paul never married, jesus nevermarried.
But in the world that God'screated, a woman is needed.
So in a marriage, if someone'sgoing to commit their lives to
(23:17):
one another, a wife is suited,built, created for the man, and
vice versa.
So I talk about Genesis,chapter 2.
I talk about how Adam getspoetic all of a sudden.
He's been naming elephant,giraffe and then he goes finally
, flesh of my flesh and bone ofmy bone.
She should be called woman,right?
(23:38):
Which is this beautiful woman?
Or beautiful moment where and?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
a beautiful woman.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Well, he obviously thought so.
Or he basically just saysfinally.
And so I comment on the factthat Jaden, or the man is saying
, finally, she's here, right,I've waited for this.
And the father, like God, thefather brings the woman to the
man.
Beautiful thing.
(24:06):
Then I go to Ephesians five,which is commentary on that
passage, which talks aboutmarriage, how it was intended
from the beginning of time to bea picture of Christ's love for
his church, that the man wouldsacrifice himself for his wife
and that the wife would submitherself to her husband.
Kind of this beautifulrelationship of selfless
(24:30):
sacrifice and selfless service.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
So those are the two primary passages.
And selfless service.
So those are the two primarypassages.
I also talk about a passage inLuke where Jesus hints at the
fact that there is not going tobe marriage in the new heavens
and new earth.
Like there is marriage on earthnow and people would say, okay,
why are you gonna bring that upin a wedding ceremony?
(24:54):
It's just to say that the newheavens and new earth is a great
picture there with Christ afterhe returns.
It's like a big wedding feast,a big celebration, and we are
the bride of Christ, the church.
We're all waiting our groom toreturn to us on that great
marriage supper of the Lamb, um,on that great marriage supper
of the lamb.
And so I say, okay, if there'snot marriage in heaven, um, but
(25:18):
there's this great marriage ofthe bride of Christ, the lamb.
This is intended to be just alike, a like, an appetizer for
that supper.
Like marriage is awesome.
Like my wife and I have beenmarried for almost 10 years and
it's great, uh, like it doesn'tcome without difficulty, but
it's great.
Like it doesn't come withoutdifficulty, but it's really good
.
And if it's that good, imaginehow great then the marriage
(25:39):
supper of the lamb is going tobe, so it's like cheese curds
before steak.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And cheese curds are really good yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
That's funny.
I've heard you say that anumber of times.
It's very funny yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Well, I bet it's at your wedding Cheese curds before
steak.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So, yeah, I think also, a wedding is very unique
because, um, the bride and thegroom have asked you know, all
their relatives, their friendsand and everyone to be there for
them, and so it's.
It's a bunch of peoplethroughout different um phases
of their life and so, um, thatbeing said, how do you typically
(26:16):
go about?
I know it's very important toshare the gospel in moments like
that, because you have a lot ofrelatives and folks who might
not usually even step foot in achurch.
So how would you typically, howdo you typically go about
sharing the gospel during awedding ceremony?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
It's a good question.
So most people, whether or notthey believe in Christ, can
understand good love.
Now, it might be limited, theymay not be able to understand
great love, like Christ's love,but good love.
They know that it's a beautifulthing when a husband and wife
(26:51):
are 80 years old still holdinghands walking in the park, right
.
Beautiful thing when a husbandand wife are 80 years old still
holding hands walking in thepark, right?
Uh.
They know it's a beautifulthing when, um, when, uh, uh,
you know a husband or a wife hasmade a dumb mistake but asks
for forgiveness and thatrelationship is reconciled and
genuine and true and pure.
They know, uh, it's a beautifulthing that, um, a man would
(27:14):
step in front of a car for hiswife or that a woman would want
to rear children and want themto follow the good example of
the father.
They know these things are trueand right and good, and so I
will talk a lot about the manneeds to sacrifice for his wife.
The woman should serve and lether husband lead.
That you should commit this dayto forever be committed, that
(27:41):
this is a day you'll look backon when you have bifocals right
and a diner, and you'll rememberall the hard times, but you'll
also think about the grandkidsthat you guys get to see grow up
.
That said, I'm actually pullingfrom different passages of
scripture and then I go likeChrist and then I talk about the
(28:01):
gospel.
Christ is not going to give upon you and so, because Christ
has not given up on you, youdon't give up on one another.
Your marriage relationship issupposed to be influenced by
Christ and also to show peoplewhat Christ is like.
Just as Christ has forgiven you, you also forgive one another.
Just as Christ was willing tolay down his own life so that
(28:24):
you might have life, husband,you lay down your life every day
, not just jumping in front of acar, but laying down your
priorities, your aim, yourambition, so that she might
thrive, so that she might grow,and so I relate that as much as
I can.
I pull from Bible passages, Igo to the relationship with
those Bible passages and howthose relationships are actually
the fruit of Christ's work andhow they should point back to it
(28:45):
.
So, yeah, I think people cansee good love.
So I talk about good love topoint to great love.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's so amazing.
Yeah, yeah, have you ever?
Have you ever this might be astrange question have you ever
had someone come to Christthrough a message or or whatnot
that you've given at a wedding?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So I don't know um is the quick answer there?
That's not to say no.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
It's to say that I don't have any sort of immediate
altar call or response in awedding right.
The central part of a weddingis, of course, the commitment
the two are making, but, by thegrace of God, maybe what I've
shared in the wedding has led toconversations with that married
couple.
So maybe a cousin grew up in thechurch, left the church when
(29:35):
they were in high school becausetheir parents didn't really
encourage it strongly.
And now they're going to comeback to the wedding, having left
the church as a whole thecapital C church and they're
sitting there in the pew andthey hear the gospel again.
Maybe it's afresh, maybe theLord opens their eyes to the
truthfulness of the gospel forthe very first time, and maybe a
month later they ask the bridehey, I have questions about your
(29:58):
relationship with the Lord andyou and your husband's
relationship with the Lord, andmaybe, just maybe, the wedding
sparked some of that.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Yeah, yeah.
I would be curious to even askyou that question like 20 years
from now, if you've ever youknow what I mean heard something
back, because I know you'repretty young.
I'd be interested to ask pastorBob that question, if he's ever
, you know, had someone talk tohim, maybe even like years later
, after a certain message thathe's given at a wedding, and say
that impacted me, to reconsidermy faith or to trust the Lord.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, you know, and so I've said this before and
I've added ushers in that list.
Three of those groomsmen nolonger follow Jesus, one of
which was a youth pastor at thetime.
(30:50):
That individual is very vocalabout not following.
One of those individuals isvery vocal about not following
Jesus anymore the one that was ayouth pastor.
And yet one of those guys isprobably going to get married in
the next few years.
Another one of the guys who isa believer one of my groomsmen
(31:14):
and that other groomsman who hasleft the faith will be at that
wedding, no doubt, and that willprobably be the first time he's
heard the gospel in a while.
And so you know, I would justsay to the person leading the
wedding ceremony you know, youdon't have to have an altar call
at a wedding.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
The point is the wedding.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But I mean there could be an opportunity that
someone, the Lord in hiskindness, opens their eyes.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah, that's so cool, so cool.
Another question I don't knowhow long we're running on time.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Okay, I wasn't keeping track of that either,
but I do have a few morequestions for you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
If that's all right, I'll try to answer them more
briefly.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Yeah, no worries, no, I like, I like the discussion.
So far it's been good.
Um, so, in your opinion, whatis a component that you feel all
weddings should have?
It can be like purely youropinion, Cause you know there's
a general structure, but thenlike are you ever like, wow, I
think that every wedding theyshould watch each wash each
other's feet.
I think that every wedding theyneed to do the little sand
(32:16):
thing you know what I mean, orlike what, what components of a
wedding?
or do you think they should haveworship at every single wedding
?
I mean like it is worship, butthe songs, and that brings
people together.
So, of all the different thingsthat you've seen because you've
been to way more weddings thanI have what do you feel like all
weddings should have?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, this might end up being like a ranking by
opinion, and this is merelyopinion, I think I could argue,
not an opinion to have thegospel shared.
And so if we were putting thataside and just looking, at the
elements.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
All Christian weddings, I guess.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah, so.
So, two things, that two thingswe're going to assume.
So the two things we're goingto assume is that the gospel is
shared and there are promisesmade, yeah, so vows and ring
promises, that I do, right.
So, putting those aside, whichare, and I think, in every
wedding, well, the gospel is notin every wedding, but the I do
is in every wedding and thegospel, clearly presented, yeah,
(33:08):
does worship.
So maybe say what do you thinkabout this?
You know, and go down the line,I don't know.
So how to say this worship andsong great, not necessary, okay,
but great, great.
We had two songs in our wedding.
Encouraged the congregation tosing one of them, okay, but
great, great.
We had two songs in our wedding.
Um, uh, encourage thecongregation to sing one of them
(33:28):
.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Um, it was, uh, how deep the father's love for us.
That was a congregational one.
My favorite song, um, lyrically, Uh, and then um, an old song
by Charlie Hall names calledcenter, oh Christ, be the center
of my life or our lives.
Um, it's called center, ohChrist, be the center of my life
or our lives.
Great, not necessary Sand, eh,it's okay.
(33:51):
So in every wedding there'ssometimes like a symbolic
portion of a wedding wheresomeone might tie a rope or
build a cross or put sandtogether or wash each other's
feet or participate in Lord'sSupper together.
You know I could rank those.
None of them are necessary byany means.
(34:12):
My favorite of those the feet.
I'm not a feet guy, so I thinkthat's probably the best picture
.
Let's be fair, I think that'sthe best picture.
Is I'm here to serve you?
So I think that's the bestpicture.
Is I'm here to serve you, um?
So I think that's the bestpicture.
Uh, the Lord's supper.
So I I share this with coupleswho I marry.
(34:32):
I'm not comfortable officiatingthe Lord's supper, um, in a
wedding ceremony.
Uh, I think the Lord's supperis um is given to a local church
body at a wedding ceremony.
Uh, you know, there might bepeople of that local church
there who are not able to beinvited because of numbers or
because that couple doesn't knowthem.
There are also people that Idon't know who might be
partaking in the Lord's Supper.
(34:53):
If it's a communal Lord'sSupper, if the bride and groom
are just taking the Lord'sSupper, I struggle with that
because the Lord's Supper is ameal that's supposed to be a
community meal.
That's supposed to be acommunity meal.
So I usually say from theget-go hey, I know some weddings
do this.
I'm just not personallycomfortable with it.
My conscience prohibits me fromdoing it.
Yeah, I think did I answer thatquestion well?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Well, I said what's in your opinion, what's a
component that you feel awedding should have.
So, all the ones that you don'tlike aside, what are?
Things that you're like everywedding should have this,
because I mean, after Danielleand Lane's wedding, I was like I
got to add another worship song.
I had one.
I was like that was sobeautiful, so I should add
(35:38):
another song.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah so the wedding is a celebration.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I like worship.
Yeah, I don't know that it hasto have it.
I'm struggling to say like ithas to have it, but gospel
promises worships.
Third, that'd be third, butthird is starting to be not
necessary.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, I mean like well, this is your opinion, yeah, so
so all weddings should have that.
I wouldn't even say should.
I would say that's the best ofwhat of what?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Okay, yeah, Got it Got it, no worries at all.
Um, all right.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
One more thing.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Okay, I like I got.
I got another thing that I'llsay Okay, cause I think this is
maybe the category you want meto say so worship, beautiful,
not essential.
Giving away of the brideanother beautiful, not essential
thing.
So there might be somecircumstances where the families
are not comfortable doing that,and I get that, but I think
that's a beautiful thing wherethe father gives away the bride
(36:39):
to say, okay, I've been givenspiritual oversight as this
young woman's father.
I'm now giving that spiritualoversight over to her husband
that he would be the steward ofher faith as she pursues the
Lord personally.
So, yeah, that's a beautifulthing.
I bring it from Genesis 2 thatthe father actually presents the
(37:02):
bride to the husband.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah, that's good Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Do you, as an officiant, typically go to
wedding receptions?
Yeah, depends, depends on a lotof factors, right, a whole lot
of factors.
So I would say my wife and Ihave been to about generally
about 50 to 60% of receptions ofweddings that I performed or
officiated.
Um depends on our kids.
We've got two kids, um, whobarely make it through a wedding
(37:33):
ceremony, but can, uh, dependson, okay, are we gonna have to
find out sitters?
Are we gonna have to travel?
Are we going to?
Um, what's going on the daybefore and the day after?
Um, you know it depends on,okay.
Uh, you know, can we swing thiswith other things that we've
already said we're going to do.
Um, what's the reception goingto be like?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
right.
Are we going to fit?
Speaker 1 (37:58):
in well with the reception, like, for example,
like, is it going to be a lot offamily members and then us, um,
is it going to be a lot ofpeople from our church?
Uh, that you know it might be agood thing to go and and and
try to make an effort to to dothat.
If I can, um, can we go to apart of it and then make sure we
get home early enough torelieve our sitter or bring the
kids home because they stayingout late and things like that?
(38:20):
Um, you know atmosphere, soatmosphere, distance, uh, um,
expectation of the couple, uhand um, and you know just, our
family and circumstances, ourfamily circumstances, yeah, yeah
, they all play into that.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Yeah, do you ever feel uncomfy as a pastor, going
to the wedding Like everyone'slooking?
At you knowing that you justmarried the couple and they're
like watching to see if youdrink anything or or what you
ever feel strange about that umor just kind of like, I mean,
I'm here just just trying tohave a good time you know, most,
most receptions like, uh, thatof weddings that I've officiated
(39:01):
.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
If they have me do anything at the reception, they
have me pray After that.
I feel like I'm a participant.
I try to give off the vibethough I hate that phrase.
I try to give off the vibe thatI am just, even though I'm a
pastor and I've officiated awedding, I am a member of a
church.
I am a Christian strugglingwith sin as any other person
(39:22):
would.
I'm a normal person, right withsin as any other person would.
Um, I'm a normal person, right?
Like, like, I'm not, I'm notstuffy.
Uh, that doesn't mean that Ican, you know, in my own
conscience, do everything thateverybody else is going to do.
But, um, I'm, I'm happy to be aparticipant, to dance with my
wife to.
Uh, I'm a Baptist who willdance with my wife, right?
So I'll watch.
I'll watch everybody else.
(39:42):
I'll cringe at some toasts thatare made, you know, like
everybody else, yeah, you knowor laugh at toasts that are made
, or smile at toasts that aremade, or cry I am known to be an
emotional person, sopotentially cry Cool.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
I was just curious about that.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
I'm thinking more into like Some pastors are
uncomfortable with drinkingalcohol.
Yeah, some are uncomfortable ornot uncomfortable.
Um, it depends on theconscience of the pastor and his
leadership.
Um, I'm not uncomfortable inthe room unless you know people
are, are are getting drunk, um,uh, in such a way that it would
um, it would um, yeah, yeah,yeah, okay, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Yeah, I'm thinking more towards like the, the whole
, I mean out of the ceremony andwhatnot, like the whole wedding
day.
A lot of people say that youdon't really remember your
wedding day.
Um, and I hear that and like,as I'm planning for my wedding,
you won't remember what I say.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
You'll remember.
You might because I've talkedto you about it so much in
premarital counseling, but Idon't remember anything.
Corey said and I love Corey whomarried us yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, a lot of people say like the entire day like
just flies by, like you don'teven you know, and and like, as
I'm planning for the wedding, Iknow people mean it to be
encouraging.
Like you know, this doesn'tmatter that much.
Like it's fine.
But also, as I'm planning forthe wedding, I'm like well, I
want it to be special, I wantthis to happen, I want that to
happen.
And maybe that's silly, I don'tknow, but I do want to ask is
(41:14):
there a component?
Speaker 1 (41:15):
of your wedding that you remember being like, so
special or something like that.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
We've been going 41 minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
It's not as bad as I thought.
I just looked down, I forgot itdoes count here.
Um so, uh.
So maybe a few more questions.
So is there a component Iremember?
So here's the thing there arepieces, there are multiple
pieces in that day.
There is the standing piece onthe stage.
There is the reception piece,there is the transition pieces
where you might be gettingpictures taken of you guys.
(41:38):
There's the piece of gettingready, there's the piece of
driving with your now husbandaway from the crowd.
There's the piece of runningout through the crowd or walking
out through the crowd.
So there's all these pieces andyou'll remember the pieces.
You just might not rememberthings inside those pieces.
The things that you willprobably remember is how you
(41:59):
felt and how people made youfeel, and maybe a few
conversations that you had.
So when I was getting ready, Iremember that with my guys, when
I was staring at my bride, Iremember that feeling.
I remember what I said to herthat the officiant could hear
(42:20):
but no one else could.
I remember looking at her andcrying.
I remember dancing with my momfor the mother son dance.
Uh, I remember, uh, some of thedriving away.
I remember of having to cleanoff all of the things that was
written all over my car you knowas the grooms would do and I
(42:42):
remember like I'm going to popall the balloons so that we
could actually sit in there, andI remember all of those things.
Um, I remember our drive from,uh uh, columbia, missouri, to
Kansas City, missouri, two hoursfrom, like I don't know, 1130
PM to like 1, 32 AM, and it wasstorming and we couldn't see
well, and we were both fallingasleep at the wheel and having
(43:04):
to, like, go run into a gasstation and get a, a red bull,
just to stay awake to get to ourhotel.
So like, there were things likethat.
I remember I was sick, whichdidn't help.
Um, I had uh, bronchitis and uhand a sinus infection and so,
um, I was dealing with that.
But yeah, yeah, I remember alot of those things okay, yeah,
that's cool, yeah's cool.
(43:25):
Yeah, I don't remember, like,here's the thing.
I remember the dancing portion,but I don't remember much of
the reception, like we ate.
I don't remember much of theeating, or the cake, the cake
sharing thing.
Um, I remember talking todifferent people at their tables
, like we walked around andtalked to people but I don't
remember like really evensetting up their meeting,
(43:46):
because I think we did for five,20, five to 10 to 15 minutes,
maybe 20.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, that's very nice.
Remember segments and somethings inside.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Relating usually to people.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
That's good.
I like that Cause a lot of Ifeel like a lot of people are
just like the whole day wentpast.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
You won't remember much of what I say, which is
okay.
You won't remember much of whathappens on stage.
You'll remember how they look.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
You'll remember how that moment feels.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Yeah, yeah, cool, all right.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Any other questions?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Do you want me to ask another question?
No, you can ask one more.
I can ask one more.
Do you have one?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
more.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
I do have one more Is it one you are you scared to
ask it?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
No, I'm not scared to ask it, but it has less to do
with, I guess, the weddingceremony and more to do with
just marriage in general.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
So my last question for you is after Sunday, Jade
and I are going to wake up andwe are going to be married.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
It's weird, yeah, real weird.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Ceremony will be over .
Speaker 1 (44:46):
I mean awesome.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Nothing to plan for.
Yeah, weird, yeah, it'll beweird, and we will have made
this commitment the day beforeto one another and to the Lord.
Um, and there is, there'saspects of that that seem very
scary.
You know it's like whoa seemvery scary, you know it's like
(45:08):
Whoa.
I have to be here for thisperson, I have to be vulnerable
with this person.
That's a that's a lot of youknow.
I've been after the wedding andafter the ceremony, like it's
just all of those things youknow, and so I have reasons that
that I know I'm like I want toget married, I want to marry
Jaden, you know.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
That's a good.
I'm glad you do.
It's your bachelor.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
But to a lot of people and to a lot of my
friends.
Some people tell me they'll belike I don't want to get married
because it's a lot, it's toomuch, and so why should people?
Like I said, I have answers tothis.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
This would be a long list of reasons, I know I know.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
But what would you say just off the cuff, like why
should someone desire marriage?
Why should someone desire to bemarried, Because you and Jesse
have been married almost 10years.
You said and it's you know.
So why is it a good thing todesire like no ceremony, no
nothing, but like to be marriedto?
Speaker 1 (46:02):
someone to have that commitment.
Well, not everyone has to getmarried.
No one should feel constrainedto get married as if it's
necessary at a biblical level orat a human flourishing level.
The Bible gives space for thatin 1 Corinthians 7.
But if your reasoning is sothat I can enjoy my life and
(46:28):
don't have to be tied down, Iwould push back on that, and
I'll push back on it just to say, okay, there is joy in marriage
, even though it can bedifficult.
I'll say this marriage is a verysanctifying thing.
Um, so you're living withsomeone who is also a center,
(46:52):
just a really pretty one, right?
Uh?
And so you learn each other'sstrengths and weaknesses, uh,
you know how to get on eachother's nerves and sometimes,
and sometimes you use that whichis awful, and so the Lord
sanctifies your heart throughthe giving of your heart.
So I would say, like, if you,in serving the Lord, find
(47:18):
someone who is also serving theLord and you are physically and
spiritually attracted to them,there's nothing wrong in getting
married.
The Lord will use that inprofound ways to shape you in
his likeness, and it's going tobe a lot of fun, right?
I'm not saying you can't havefun outside of a marriage.
(47:43):
I am saying God created it foryour joy.
But if the Lord calls you tothe mission field and you feel
like you know I'm concerned froma wife's safety for that reason
, I think that's fewer and farbetween that someone might feel
that particular calling and notburn with passion, then that
person can go and serve in themission field.
But if you burn with, if you'repursuing the Lord, you find
(48:04):
someone beside you is pursuingthe Lord and you just can't keep
your mind off of them.
Marry him.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Yeah, it's a beautiful good thing.
It's very nice.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I think it's funny how you called called Jesse
pretty sinner.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Well, whether she would call, whether she would
call me a pretty, I don't knowhope handsome.
Definitely a sinner so.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
I hope she listens to this she does listen to the
podcast, that's actually reallyromantic.
I feel like she's such a prettycause it's.
It's.
I mean, yeah, you're gettingmarried to another center.
It's.
Yeah, that's real.
That's why it's so funny though.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Yeah, you said something, I'll just comment on
it real fast.
So, um, jesse and I have twokids, especially with the first
one.
When you're in the hospitalafter your wife has delivered a
baby, you're checking on yourwife, but the doctors will come
in.
Nurses will come in and checkon your wife for things you
(49:00):
wouldn't know.
If she's okay, has she hadenough fluids?
I don't know right, she dranksome water.
They'll check on the baby.
Was the baby doing this or this,I don't know.
She drank some water.
They'll check on the baby.
Was the baby doing this or this?
I don't know.
I've never done this before.
And then you get home andyou're like with your baby and
you're like what do we doTonight?
We're going to go to sleep andthere's no one waking us up and
(49:21):
waking the baby up every threehours.
Now you'll learn that the babydoes wake up every three hours
and will cry and tell you whatit needs or that it needs
something.
He or she needs something.
But it's like this precious giftGod has given you that you
don't know yet how to steward.
That's the same thing inmarriage For like a year.
It's going to be weird sayingyou're a husband or you're a
(49:42):
wife, or I have a wife, or Ihave a husband.
But God is not only going tosanctify you through the
marriage, he's going to sanctifyyou in learning how to be
married.
Like that's a weird thing,right?
And so they depend on you, youdepend on them.
One more quick thing.
I'm rambling here.
I'm rambling here.
(50:21):
But if you practice marriagebefore you're married meaning
you live with someone or you'reintimate with someone, whatever
there's much to be said aboutthat and much to be said about
that being sin and also therebeing grace and repenting of
that.
I'm just saying this there is abeautiful blessing inside the
covenant of marriage with thevulnerability that's in it.
It's like you are beingincredibly vulnerable.
This person knows you more thanany other person, but it's
covered by the covenant you madewith them, and so you have this
like a blessed vulnerabilitythat is covered by a covenant
(50:43):
where, like, I know you morethan anybody else, but I'm not
going anywhere.
Yeah, right, and I mean, whatdoes Christ say?
I know you more than anybodyelse but I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah Right, yeah, yeah yeah.
That's just something to thinkabout.
Speaker 3 (50:57):
Well, thanks, hey, thanks for thanks for joining me
on this episode and letting meask you very many questions
about, about wedding ceremonies.
What are you looking for?
Yay?
Thanks so much, Trent, foranswering all of the questions
so grateful.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Yeah, thanks for asking them.
Thanks for joining me in thepodcast.
Absolutely Thanks for leadingthe questions and stuff like
that.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Absolutely hey.
Next, when you guys hear this,this episode will be released
and I will be in the middle ofgetting married.
Oh, they're like yeah, oh themusic.
That's all beautiful, great job, phenomenal.
(51:41):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Have a great time.
Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast.
I'm in the studio with Karatoday, so Pastor Bob is gone
Technically not gone.
Well, he just left, so I guesshe is gone.
He went to head to a soccergame in Sefner Valrico, as he's
a assistant soccer coach withCambridge Christian School.
(00:28):
Go Lancers and they're hopingfor a win tonight.
But it's Thursday afternoon,bob is gone, and so I am
recording an episode with justKara today.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's me.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Not just Kara, but just just Kara in the room.
It's just Kara.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Well, it's just Kara.
No one's super exciting.
No, no, it's just Kara, butit's not just Kara.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I feel like it's just Kara and it's just Kara.
It's just Trent here, but it'snot just Trent.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I think the inflection changes the intention
.
Well, hey, how are you?
I'm doing.
Well, how are you?
Trent?
Big event coming in three days,you will be a married woman.
Yeah, you will no longer be afiance, but a wife.
How wild is that.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
That's crazy, it's three days.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Let's go, jaden.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
You'll be Kara Smith.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I will be Only the most exciting last name.
Your phone world.
Your phone ring.
Yes, is it a wedding thing?
Do you need to take it?
No, you're good, you're sure.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, it was only Jordan wait so well, hey, yes,
three days from now you will bemarried.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I will be, and the reception is also in Valrico
that's right, not too far fromour house.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I don't think I don't know the exact address, I have
to look it up, but but we're inSlephner, valerico area just
outside of Tampa, so are younervous?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I am excited, I'm thrilled, I'm giddy.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Are you, I am all the things Like anxious, like in a
good way, like I wished it wastoday.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I wish I don't wish it was today, because there's
things that need to happen, butI'm like so excited for it, yeah
.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So it'll be Jaden Smith and Kara Smith.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Jaden Smith, like Will Smith's son Same name,
different personality there yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
But, hey.
I hey, I have a fact.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
What's your fact?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Chad.
Did you know that the length ofan animal's yawn is actually
directly correlated to how bigtheir brain is?
How large their brain is, sothe longer they yawn, supposedly
the bigger the brain?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I got a big brain.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So how long does it take you toyawn?
So scientists hypothesize thatyawning acts as a mechanism to
cool the brain by increasingblood flow, and larger brains of
course require longer yawns toachieve the cooling effect of
their brain.
So studies analyzing a widerange of mammals and birds have
found this correlation to beconsistent across different
(03:01):
species.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
That's so cool.
I'm going to measure next timeyou yawn Wait.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
How long can I make a yawn gif?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'm going to measure your yawn, darren's yawn, pastor
Bob's yawn and Ben's yawn andOlivia's yawn and compare all
your yawns to one another andsee who's the most biggest
brained intellectual ministerialperson on our staff.
I don't understand yawnstotally biggest brained
intellectual ministerial personon our staff.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So honestly, I don't understand yawns totally like,
okay, it's a cooling mechanism,sure, sure, sure.
But the weird, like somethingweird about yawning to me is, if
you see someone yawn, it'sreally hard not to yawn.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
But you never think.
You would have never thoughtabout yawning before seeing them
.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, that's an odd thing.
You might not even be tired, Ithink.
Maybe you just see themselveslike relaxing their body and
just enjoying a yawn.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yawns are so nice, it's like a sneeze, it's just
like you know, but stopping ayawn, that's so upsetting, like
stepping on Legos yeah, it'sawful, it's kind of.
Have you ever had someone likedo the thing like?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
as a joke, where you stick their finger in your mouth
when you.
I do that to other people.
Oh, my favorite thing to do.
Awful, so irritating to people.
Awful, I love to be irritating.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, it's not cool.
Yeah, I would like to know howthat thing happens, where it's
like you yawn, someone elseyawns, someone else yawns.
It's like a yawning effect inthe room.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Yeah, Like dominoes.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Something.
Another interesting, strange,trent.
Now, there is a differencethere.
So if I sneeze because I'mwalking outside and the sun is
bright which is a typical thingthat I do, and it's a typical
thing or is a thing you know,people have that
hypersensitivity to the sunwhere, if it's too bright, they
sneeze.
I do that every time I walkoutside if I've been inside for
a while, but if I'm just likesneezing because I don't know
(04:49):
something in the room, I can'tstop sneezing for a while.
So you're just like Not thatfast, oh, for about four minutes
though.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Okay, and.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I'm in between sneezing, blowing my nose,
sneezing again, blowing my nose,sneezing again.
I have a sneezing fit.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Okay, it's awful.
I hate it so much.
Thanks for sharing with theclass.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, my wife doesn't understand it.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Not on either.
I wish I could just stopsneezing when I start sneezing,
but I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
So you know we all have our problems in this world,
and just the one that's beenallotted to you, trent, not a
fan of that one, you're a burdento bear.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What's like a pet peeve to you.
What's some pet peeve?
I'm thinking of noses andmouths.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I hate it when people sneeze nonstop like back to
back to back to back.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I am always like super self-conscious about my
breath and my breath, thinkingso I have mints almost
everywhere I go, anytime Itravel, and I'm speaking, when
you speak your mouth gets dryand so like immediately have bad
breath and you have people comeback and ask you questions and
you're like I'm just, I'm sorry,please stand six feet away from
me from when you're askingquestions.
(05:54):
So, I have mints in my pocket.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, the bot like I feel like body odor and bad
breath.
Those are just it's, it's hard,it's rough.
Those are just the things aboutlife that are.
You know, they just stick out.
But other like pet peeves, likein general that people do, I
can't really think of one at themoment.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I feel like it takes a lot to irritate me, people
that click their pens or clicktheir fingers.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
That doesn't even bother me that much.
That bother you no.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
People burping out loud.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I feel like that only bothers me Really.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Ben burps out loud all the time.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I think it's so funny if it's just like out in the
world in a setting, but like ifone of my siblings is next to me
and does that, I'm like you'rethe most disgusting individual
to ever exist.
Or like farts or anything, Ifany of my siblings ever like
toots sorry, it's okay, we can.
We can bleep that out if needed.
But if, if any of my umsiblings ever expresses any
(06:54):
bodily anything, I always lookat them like they're the most
disgusting person ever.
It's just more irritating whenit's I don't know, for some
reason, about you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I know you have a lot of opinions.
It's the breath thing.
It's the breath thing.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, yeah, you know there's few people that have
just like body odor that yousmell around them, right.
That's not like I know.
Like I'd be very surprised if Ihave body odor than the amount
of deodorant and like spraystuff I use because I don't want
to stink, but like breath, likeit doesn't last a long time,
right, like you eat something oryou drink something and your
(07:28):
breath could smell again, and soI like always have meds.
It's just a thing.
So okay, okay.
We are going to I don't have aquestion today, but it's kind of
a question we are going to rankcakes ranking rank.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
R I N K cakes C.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
A K E S ranking cakes .
I already cakes Rank R-I-N-K.
Cakes C-A-K-E-S.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Ranking cakes.
I already know what I'm doinghere.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Well, hold on, let's let the listeners hear what kind
of cakes we're going to rank.
So there are a number ofdifferent flavors of cake.
There are also a number ofdifferent types of cake.
We're primarily going to lookat types of cake here, although
a couple of them might beconsidered flavor changes.
(08:10):
So here we go a bunt cake,b-u-n-d-t-s bunts or b-u-n-d-t
bunt cakes, fruit cake, andthey're like, uh, fruit cake and
like fruit cake a thing forlike christmas, people will get
that fruit cakes, fruit cakes
Speaker 3 (08:19):
but no one ever eats them.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yeah, cheese, cheesecake, cheesecake funnel
cake yeah birthday cake which islike the typical cake cookie
cake, carrot cake, germanchocolate cake, pineapple dump
cake, angel food cake and coffeecake that's a lot of cakes,
that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
You put a lot on this .
Speaker 1 (08:41):
It is so let's start with ranking some of the worst.
So what would be the worst oneon this list to you?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So I put like no for immediately, very many of these.
Okay, I'm going to say no.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
What's the worst.
So how many are there?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,11.
11.
What's number?
11?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
11?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Probably fruitcake, fruitcake's definitely 11 yeah,
if you pick anything else, Idon't know like, because some of
these can be good, but ingeneral, are bad for example
pineapple dump cake that's 10 ingeneral, it's bad.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Have I had a good one before?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
sure, yeah, maybe but still on this list but yeah,
yeah okay, so that's 10.
What's nine?
It's got to be carrot cake,right.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I was also going to say that I like carrot cake.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, but on this list it's nine.
Yeah, yeah, it's got to be nine, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I feel so bad saying that, because some carrot cakes
are so good, but in generalthey're just so sweet and I
don't enjoy them very much.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
So birthday cake is probably next for me.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I would agree with that.
I'm not a birthday cake fan.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
So that's eight.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That's crazy, okay, so here's the thing with.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Trent, I think you're going to start disagreeing with
me here.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
I don't know that.
I know what angel food cake is.
Oh is that the?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
so I actually like that.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What's angel food cake.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It's like a fluffier kind of cake.
It's very light.
It's I wouldn't say it's like avanilla cake, but it's just
very light.
People usually will get littlepieces of it and dip it in
chocolate or there will bestrawberries or something else
on it.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Okay, my next few are going to be German, not in this
order, but I know it's going tobe German.
Chocolate, angel food and Bundtcakes are all going to be my
next few.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I've got to narrow them down.
That's messed up.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So I think I'm going to go.
I'm not a Bundt cake fan.
Are you a Bundt cake fan?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
What even is that again?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's the one that's like round it's round and it's
also round.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Are they usually dry?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
They're, no, they're like usually wet.
They taste wet.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Okay, yeah, we can do that one next.
Okay, we'll go Bundt cakes next.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So not eight, nine, seven I'm gonna go angel food
six.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That's crazy I'm gonna go angel food six I'm
gonna go german chocolate nofive.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
No, I will come back to you.
I'm gonna go coffee four.
I'm gonna do cookie three.
I'm gonna do funnel cake twoand cheesecake one.
I'm'm a big cheesecake fan.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, cheesecake is a good time All right.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So what are you going ?
We started disagree there, soyou went bunt cake.
Seven what are you going?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Six Bunt cake seven, six.
So I cookie.
Cake is just a cookie, so Idon't feel like that even
belongs.
I like cookies too, but cookieis not even cake, so I don't
feel like that even belongs.
I like cookies too, but cookieis not even cake, so to me it
doesn't even belong on this list.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I hated birthday cakes growing up, never liked
them, thought the icing wasalways like way too like sweet
or something, and so I would docookie cakes up until like
eighth grade and then Idiscovered cheesecake was a
thing, and then I was like, oh,this beats cookie cake.
So that's, I mean a cookie cakefan, but I just think funnel
cakes are just awesome.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
So, okay, yeah, funnel cakes are great, I'm
gonna do, I'm gonna docheesecake as number one no,
it's number one number one I'mgoing backwards now because I
don't know how to, because Iknow the ones that I really like
, and so the other ones are justgonna fall in line have you had
a cheesecake from the sea house?
I can't say I have, but I havebeen to the Seahouse.
Yeah, I gotta try it.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Best cheesecake is at the Seahouse.
Salted caramel is the bestcheesecake I've ever had.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Let me see, because I would rather have coffee cake
than cookie cake.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Coffee cake was four for me.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I like coffee cake One two, it'll be three for me.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
I could maybe switch, switch the cookie cake there
and then, and then four is gonnabe funnel cake, five is cookie
cake and then six will be.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, I guess what was?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
two angel food cake two is german chocolate cake oh,
no, no are we thinking of thesame thing?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
it's just like, like chocolate, chocolate on
chocolate.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Oh my gosh, I love chocolate.
Maybe because I'm a woman,Trent.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Jessie would pick that.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, she would pick that Sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So we're going to do a countdown Least favorite to
favorite.
I'll go first, you go second.
Okay, all right.
So first is theapple dump cake.
Carrot cake.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Birthday cake, bunt cake Okay, we're getting
somewhere.
Angel food cake, that's softGerman chocolate cake.
Chocolate's fine Coffee cake.
Love me, some coffee and thecinnamon.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Are you thinking coffee cake isn't flavored like
coffee?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
no, it just goes with coffee cinnamon yeah, it's
pretty cool, uh, cookie cake.
I like me some cookies, um, youknow what I've never had.
So white chocolate macadamianut cookies are my favorite but,
most cookie cakes are chocolatechip.
I'd like to have a whitechocolate macadamia cookie cake
I bet public's would do it foryou.
Probably.
And then we get to funnel cake.
Silver Dollar City reminds meof that.
(13:51):
And then cheesecake, chocolatechip cheesecake or salted
caramel cheesecake from theSeahouse.
All right, come on, all right.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
So, you're up.
I got to say fruit cake,pineapple dump.
I gotta say fruitcake,pineapple dump.
Cake.
Mid carrot cake, birthday cake.
I can't count Bundt cake.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You didn't put numbers on it, I did, but it's
hard for me to count backwards,maybe I'm just silly.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Okay, bundt cake, then angel food cake, then
cookie cake, then funnel cake.
Yeah, then coffee cake, thenGerman check cake, and then
cheesecake Cheesecake does win.
Cheesecake does win Becausethere's no other, it's so good,
yeah, yeah, and then cheesecakeCheesecake does win Because
there's no other.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
It's so good.
Yeah, it is.
So.
Make sure Jaden takes you tothe Seahouse and make sure you
get a salted caramel piece ofcheesecake.
Oh, we will.
It's the best.
It's the best, okay.
Topic of the day.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
So speaking of cake, Wedding cake.
Wedding cake.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Okay, so let's jump right into the topic.
You're going to lead this partof the conversation.
I shall.
You came up with questions aboutwedding ceremonies Because
you're getting married, you'vebeen through the premarital
counseling process, you and yourhusband future husband, I
should say have been through thecounseling process with me and
my wife, and so you got to heara little bit of some thoughts
(15:13):
about marriage, but we alsoworked on the wedding ceremony.
So I thought you know what, whydon't you ask some questions
about wedding ceremonies to apastor who's done a number of
them?
I've certainly not done as manyas Bob, because of course more
years Because of you know howold he is More years, more years
as a pastor, more time to doweddings.
You're religious, but I've donea number of weddings.
(15:35):
Years as a pastor, more time todo weddings, but I've done a
number of weddings and so Ithought, yeah, let's talk about
it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, all right.
So we're going to start in thisepisode about wedding
ceremonies.
I think we've done a podcastabout weddings, you and Bob have
About weddings.
Yeah, about weddings in generaland what it looks like for you
to prepare for a wedding andwhatnot, and so I guess this can
be a part two in some sense tothat.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Did you know?
I did a wedding one time, um,where all the guys were wearing
uh, camo and all the camo, liketuxes, and the ladies were
wearing it was either like theorange right.
Pink or a bright red.
It was a very bright color.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You went to a wedding like that.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I offic to a wedding like that.
I officiated a wedding likethat.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
You're about to go to another one.
Are you guys wearing camo,jaden and all his?
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
You know, like you know, he was a hunter, and
that's just kind of what theylike.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
What if I was so offended?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Offended by what?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Because you were judging the camo.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
No, and in Missouri a lot of people hunt.
You see those online thatpeople do that, but you don't
see that very often.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
You don't see camo suits very often.
You saw it, I did.
I was a part of a wedding, irl.
Yeah, it was a marriage thatyou blessed, amen, yeah.
Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
All right, what questions do you have?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Okay, sorry.
So for the first question, justas an officiant, what?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
does a wedding day typically look like for you?
Okay, so you're probably gonnaask some of these questions in
the future, but there's not onewedding experience fits all, so
it depends on when the weddingstarting.
The wedding is starting atthree, like yours is, yeah, and
we'll say it's on a Saturday,even though this is unique that
it's on like yours is, and we'llsay it's on a Saturday, even
though this is unique, that it'son a Sunday.
We'll just act like it's on aSaturday Most weddings are, but
(17:21):
I say that because I wouldalready be here at the church in
this occasion and so I'll stayat the church.
But if a wedding happens atthree o'clock in the afternoon
or two o'clock in the afternoon,I'll come a couple hours early
just to make sure everything isset and ready to go.
Here at our church we have anumber of other people that are
turning on screens and openingthe doors and hosting the ladies
who are potentially gettingready for the occasion at the
(17:43):
venue.
Different weddings call fordifferent ways in which people
get ready for them, so theladies are usually getting ready
at 7 am for a 3 o'clock wedding.
The guys are still sleeping.
They might start getting readyat 11 or noon, maybe after they
eat, even Hannah's got a hen.
Okay, have you heard that?
Speaker 3 (18:03):
No, Like fluff, their feathers and stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
No, I didn't know that.
No, so guys don't have to dothe makeup and the hair
typically right.
Their hair is what their hairalways is, which probably takes
them five minutes if that.
And getting dressed is justabout pulling up your britches
and putting on your shirt, right, so there's just a few more
shirts you wear.
So I get there a couple hoursearly.
I'll go over my notes, I'llcheck in with the groom and the
(18:29):
groom's men, anything you guysneed, and yeah, that's pretty
much.
It Pretty easy.
If there's a weddingcoordinator, I'll check in with
them.
Hey, what am I missing?
What do you guys need from me?
I usually ask the questionwhere's the marriage certificate
?
Just to make sure we have it.
I've got some funny storieswith that.
But yeah.
(18:52):
For me, nothing starts reallyuntil about 30 minutes before
the wedding, where I'm with thegrooms.
Groom, um, praying with thegroomsmen typically, yeah, uh,
and I'm just making sure thatthey know.
Hey, about 30 minutes to showtime.
Uh, groom is probably going towalk out with me.
Grooms men go over there andget with the bridesmaids or be
where the bridesmaids are in 20minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Is that something that you typically do is go to
the groom and the groom's andpray with them?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, almost everybody I've done.
Yeah, that's very nice.
I let them have their spacebecause, like, it depends on if
I know the groom or the groom'sbeen well, if I know them well,
I might hang out with them alittle bit.
I don't know them so much.
I'll let them have some space.
I usually know the groom, um,but sometimes they'll have
family members that they don'tget to regularly see.
So I don't want to interferewith that.
Just relationship dynamic, likeif they have to entertain me
(19:39):
for some reason.
So I'll come in at some pointin time and pray with them.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Okay, so then the ceremony starts.
And then what are you?
What are you thinking?
Uh as you were in the center ofthe stage.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I'm thinking.
No one's probably staring at meand so I'm usually not too
nervous at all.
Right, I've thought throughdiligently many times what I'm
going to say during a wedding totry to keep it brief but keep
it biblical and gospel-centered,and so I've kind of got a
rhythm of what I say when I sayit.
So I'm not thinking too muchabout that.
(20:14):
I'm looking at the groom a lot,making sure he's bending his
knees about that.
I'm looking at the groom a lot,making sure he's bending his
knees genuinely.
I'm looking at the groom so hedoesn't faint.
I'm looking at the groom, lookat the bride you get like an up
close view.
You're like right there it'sthe back of the head side of the
face.
But yeah, I do watch that I getto look at the bride is as
(20:35):
quickly.
I get to look at the bride asquickly as he gets to look at
the bride.
So I'm seeing the bride, I'mseeing the groom, I'm seeing the
bride, I'm scanning my eyes.
How are they reacting?
How are they looking at eachother?
Because I can see that she'slooking at him.
Yeah, sometimes, before thebride comes out, I'll whisper.
So I whisper a couple of timeson stage.
(20:56):
People can hear that I'll sayshe's about to come, you can do
this, or I'll say something likethat.
I don't know, if you hear thatshe's about to come out, you can
do this, or make sure you bendyour knees Right, or it's almost
time.
I'll say some things like thatso they can hear into the grooms
.
Yeah, so.
So I don't whisper into the ear, but we're both in the stage,
distanced from people, and so if, if, I know the groom.
(21:19):
I'll say some playful thingslike that that's like just to
try to calm them down a littlebit.
You know, um, the truth is I'mgoing to be doing most of the
the work of the order and so ifI can kind of calm his nerves,
he gets just to see hisbeautiful wife come out and gets
to stand by his beautiful wife,and if I can try to calm his
nerves, I'll try to calm hisnerves.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
So, during the wedding ceremony, what are some
scriptures that you typicallygravitate towards to explain the
marriage to the audience andwhat's going on Like while
you're giving the message I knowa lot of people talk about?
You know Genesis 2, 124.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Well, don't take it, we'll talk about you know.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Genesis 2, 1-24, ecclesiastes, just some
scriptures like 1 Corinthiansand whatnot about love, I don't
know.
There's a bunch that I've heardin weddings.
Which ones do you usually useto?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
explain the message and everything.
Yeah.
So two passages primarily.
I don't have it in front of me,but two primary passages are
Genesis 2, where God creates theman and for the first time he
says not good.
He creates the woman and hesays very good, looking at all
of his creation.
And so there was something thatthe man lacked, he was
(22:29):
deficient.
He created a counterpart, apart of the man who was his
counterpart, so that he mightproperly enjoy the life that God
had given him and glorify theLord.
And so you can say, okay, manneeds woman for marriage, and
(22:53):
that is true if you're going toget married, a man and a woman.
But also in the world that Godhas created us to cultivate,
there are gifts that women havethat are unique and different to
men, and so a man does not haveto be married to honor the Lord
.
Paul never married, jesus nevermarried.
But in the world that God'screated, a woman is needed.
So in a marriage, if someone'sgoing to commit their lives to
(23:17):
one another, a wife is suited,built, created for the man, and
vice versa.
So I talk about Genesis,chapter 2.
I talk about how Adam getspoetic all of a sudden.
He's been naming elephant,giraffe and then he goes finally
, flesh of my flesh and bone ofmy bone.
She should be called woman,right?
(23:38):
Which is this beautiful woman?
Or beautiful moment where and?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
a beautiful woman.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Well, he obviously thought so.
Or he basically just saysfinally.
And so I comment on the factthat Jaden, or the man is saying
, finally, she's here, right,I've waited for this.
And the father, like God, thefather brings the woman to the
man.
Beautiful thing.
(24:06):
Then I go to Ephesians five,which is commentary on that
passage, which talks aboutmarriage, how it was intended
from the beginning of time to bea picture of Christ's love for
his church, that the man wouldsacrifice himself for his wife
and that the wife would submitherself to her husband.
Kind of this beautifulrelationship of selfless
(24:30):
sacrifice and selfless service.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
So those are the two primary passages.
And selfless service.
So those are the two primarypassages.
I also talk about a passage inLuke where Jesus hints at the
fact that there is not going tobe marriage in the new heavens
and new earth.
Like there is marriage on earthnow and people would say, okay,
why are you gonna bring that upin a wedding ceremony?
(24:54):
It's just to say that the newheavens and new earth is a great
picture there with Christ afterhe returns.
It's like a big wedding feast,a big celebration, and we are
the bride of Christ, the church.
We're all waiting our groom toreturn to us on that great
marriage supper of the Lamb, um,on that great marriage supper
of the lamb.
And so I say, okay, if there'snot marriage in heaven, um, but
(25:18):
there's this great marriage ofthe bride of Christ, the lamb.
This is intended to be just alike, a like, an appetizer for
that supper.
Like marriage is awesome.
Like my wife and I have beenmarried for almost 10 years and
it's great, uh, like it doesn'tcome without difficulty, but
it's great.
Like it doesn't come withoutdifficulty, but it's really good
.
And if it's that good, imaginehow great then the marriage
(25:39):
supper of the lamb is going tobe, so it's like cheese curds
before steak.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And cheese curds are really good yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
That's funny.
I've heard you say that anumber of times.
It's very funny yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Well, I bet it's at your wedding Cheese curds before
steak.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So, yeah, I think also, a wedding is very unique
because, um, the bride and thegroom have asked you know, all
their relatives, their friendsand and everyone to be there for
them, and so it's.
It's a bunch of peoplethroughout different um phases
of their life and so, um, thatbeing said, how do you typically
(26:16):
go about?
I know it's very important toshare the gospel in moments like
that, because you have a lot ofrelatives and folks who might
not usually even step foot in achurch.
So how would you typically, howdo you typically go about
sharing the gospel during awedding ceremony?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
It's a good question.
So most people, whether or notthey believe in Christ, can
understand good love.
Now, it might be limited, theymay not be able to understand
great love, like Christ's love,but good love.
They know that it's a beautifulthing when a husband and wife
(26:51):
are 80 years old still holdinghands walking in the park, right
.
Beautiful thing when a husbandand wife are 80 years old still
holding hands walking in thepark, right?
Uh.
They know it's a beautifulthing when, um, when, uh, uh,
you know a husband or a wife hasmade a dumb mistake but asks
for forgiveness and thatrelationship is reconciled and
genuine and true and pure.
They know, uh, it's a beautifulthing that, um, a man would
(27:14):
step in front of a car for hiswife or that a woman would want
to rear children and want themto follow the good example of
the father.
They know these things are trueand right and good, and so I
will talk a lot about the manneeds to sacrifice for his wife.
The woman should serve and lether husband lead.
That you should commit this dayto forever be committed, that
(27:41):
this is a day you'll look backon when you have bifocals right
and a diner, and you'll rememberall the hard times, but you'll
also think about the grandkidsthat you guys get to see grow up
.
That said, I'm actually pullingfrom different passages of
scripture and then I go likeChrist and then I talk about the
(28:01):
gospel.
Christ is not going to give upon you and so, because Christ
has not given up on you, youdon't give up on one another.
Your marriage relationship issupposed to be influenced by
Christ and also to show peoplewhat Christ is like.
Just as Christ has forgiven you, you also forgive one another.
Just as Christ was willing tolay down his own life so that
(28:24):
you might have life, husband,you lay down your life every day
, not just jumping in front of acar, but laying down your
priorities, your aim, yourambition, so that she might
thrive, so that she might grow,and so I relate that as much as
I can.
I pull from Bible passages, Igo to the relationship with
those Bible passages and howthose relationships are actually
the fruit of Christ's work andhow they should point back to it
(28:45):
.
So, yeah, I think people cansee good love.
So I talk about good love topoint to great love.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, yeah, that's so amazing.
Yeah, yeah, have you ever?
Have you ever this might be astrange question have you ever
had someone come to Christthrough a message or or whatnot
that you've given at a wedding?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So I don't know um is the quick answer there?
That's not to say no.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
It's to say that I don't have any sort of immediate
altar call or response in awedding right.
The central part of a weddingis, of course, the commitment
the two are making, but, by thegrace of God, maybe what I've
shared in the wedding has led toconversations with that married
couple.
So maybe a cousin grew up in thechurch, left the church when
(29:35):
they were in high school becausetheir parents didn't really
encourage it strongly.
And now they're going to comeback to the wedding, having left
the church as a whole thecapital C church and they're
sitting there in the pew andthey hear the gospel again.
Maybe it's afresh, maybe theLord opens their eyes to the
truthfulness of the gospel forthe very first time, and maybe a
month later they ask the bridehey, I have questions about your
(29:58):
relationship with the Lord andyou and your husband's
relationship with the Lord, andmaybe, just maybe, the wedding
sparked some of that.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Yeah, yeah.
I would be curious to even askyou that question like 20 years
from now, if you've ever youknow what I mean heard something
back, because I know you'repretty young.
I'd be interested to ask pastorBob that question, if he's ever
, you know, had someone talk tohim, maybe even like years later
, after a certain message thathe's given at a wedding, and say
that impacted me, to reconsidermy faith or to trust the Lord.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, you know, and so I've said this before and
I've added ushers in that list.
Three of those groomsmen nolonger follow Jesus, one of
which was a youth pastor at thetime.
(30:50):
That individual is very vocalabout not following.
One of those individuals isvery vocal about not following
Jesus anymore the one that was ayouth pastor.
And yet one of those guys isprobably going to get married in
the next few years.
Another one of the guys who isa believer one of my groomsmen
(31:14):
and that other groomsman who hasleft the faith will be at that
wedding, no doubt, and that willprobably be the first time he's
heard the gospel in a while.
And so you know, I would justsay to the person leading the
wedding ceremony you know, youdon't have to have an altar call
at a wedding.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
The point is the wedding.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But I mean there could be an opportunity that
someone, the Lord in hiskindness, opens their eyes.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah, that's so cool, so cool.
Another question I don't knowhow long we're running on time.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Okay, I wasn't keeping track of that either,
but I do have a few morequestions for you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
If that's all right, I'll try to answer them more
briefly.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Yeah, no worries, no, I like, I like the discussion.
So far it's been good.
Um, so, in your opinion, whatis a component that you feel all
weddings should have?
It can be like purely youropinion, Cause you know there's
a general structure, but thenlike are you ever like, wow, I
think that every wedding theyshould watch each wash each
other's feet.
I think that every wedding theyneed to do the little sand
(32:16):
thing you know what I mean, orlike what, what components of a
wedding?
or do you think they should haveworship at every single wedding
?
I mean like it is worship, butthe songs, and that brings
people together.
So, of all the different thingsthat you've seen because you've
been to way more weddings thanI have what do you feel like all
weddings should have?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, this might end up being like a ranking by
opinion, and this is merelyopinion, I think I could argue,
not an opinion to have thegospel shared.
And so if we were putting thataside and just looking, at the
elements.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
All Christian weddings, I guess.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah, so.
So, two things, that two thingswe're going to assume.
So the two things we're goingto assume is that the gospel is
shared and there are promisesmade, yeah, so vows and ring
promises, that I do, right.
So, putting those aside, whichare, and I think, in every
wedding, well, the gospel is notin every wedding, but the I do
is in every wedding and thegospel, clearly presented, yeah,
(33:08):
does worship.
So maybe say what do you thinkabout this?
You know, and go down the line,I don't know.
So how to say this worship andsong great, not necessary, okay,
but great, great.
We had two songs in our wedding.
Encouraged the congregation tosing one of them, okay, but
great, great.
We had two songs in our wedding.
Um, uh, encourage thecongregation to sing one of them
(33:28):
.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Um, it was, uh, how deep the father's love for us.
That was a congregational one.
My favorite song, um, lyrically, Uh, and then um, an old song
by Charlie Hall names calledcenter, oh Christ, be the center
of my life or our lives.
Um, it's called center, ohChrist, be the center of my life
or our lives.
Great, not necessary Sand, eh,it's okay.
(33:51):
So in every wedding there'ssometimes like a symbolic
portion of a wedding wheresomeone might tie a rope or
build a cross or put sandtogether or wash each other's
feet or participate in Lord'sSupper together.
You know I could rank those.
None of them are necessary byany means.
(34:12):
My favorite of those the feet.
I'm not a feet guy, so I thinkthat's probably the best picture
.
Let's be fair, I think that'sthe best picture.
Is I'm here to serve you?
So I think that's the bestpicture.
Is I'm here to serve you, um?
So I think that's the bestpicture.
Uh, the Lord's supper.
So I I share this with coupleswho I marry.
(34:32):
I'm not comfortable officiatingthe Lord's supper, um, in a
wedding ceremony.
Uh, I think the Lord's supperis um is given to a local church
body at a wedding ceremony.
Uh, you know, there might bepeople of that local church
there who are not able to beinvited because of numbers or
because that couple doesn't knowthem.
There are also people that Idon't know who might be
partaking in the Lord's Supper.
(34:53):
If it's a communal Lord'sSupper, if the bride and groom
are just taking the Lord'sSupper, I struggle with that
because the Lord's Supper is ameal that's supposed to be a
community meal.
That's supposed to be acommunity meal.
So I usually say from theget-go hey, I know some weddings
do this.
I'm just not personallycomfortable with it.
My conscience prohibits me fromdoing it.
Yeah, I think did I answer thatquestion well?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Well, I said what's in your opinion, what's a
component that you feel awedding should have.
So, all the ones that you don'tlike aside, what are?
Things that you're like everywedding should have this,
because I mean, after Danielleand Lane's wedding, I was like I
got to add another worship song.
I had one.
I was like that was sobeautiful, so I should add
(35:38):
another song.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah so the wedding is a celebration.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I like worship.
Yeah, I don't know that it hasto have it.
I'm struggling to say like ithas to have it, but gospel
promises worships.
Third, that'd be third, butthird is starting to be not
necessary.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, I mean like well, this is your opinion, yeah, so
so all weddings should have that.
I wouldn't even say should.
I would say that's the best ofwhat of what?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Okay, yeah, Got it Got it, no worries at all.
Um, all right.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
One more thing.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Okay, I like I got.
I got another thing that I'llsay Okay, cause I think this is
maybe the category you want meto say so worship, beautiful,
not essential.
Giving away of the brideanother beautiful, not essential
thing.
So there might be somecircumstances where the families
are not comfortable doing that,and I get that, but I think
that's a beautiful thing wherethe father gives away the bride
(36:39):
to say, okay, I've been givenspiritual oversight as this
young woman's father.
I'm now giving that spiritualoversight over to her husband
that he would be the steward ofher faith as she pursues the
Lord personally.
So, yeah, that's a beautifulthing.
I bring it from Genesis 2 thatthe father actually presents the
(37:02):
bride to the husband.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah, that's good Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Do you, as an officiant, typically go to
wedding receptions?
Yeah, depends, depends on a lotof factors, right, a whole lot
of factors.
So I would say my wife and Ihave been to about generally
about 50 to 60% of receptions ofweddings that I performed or
officiated.
Um depends on our kids.
We've got two kids, um, whobarely make it through a wedding
(37:33):
ceremony, but can, uh, dependson, okay, are we gonna have to
find out sitters?
Are we gonna have to travel?
Are we going to?
Um, what's going on the daybefore and the day after?
Um, you know it depends on,okay.
Uh, you know, can we swing thiswith other things that we've
already said we're going to do.
Um, what's the reception goingto be like?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
right.
Are we going to fit?
Speaker 1 (37:58):
in well with the reception, like, for example,
like, is it going to be a lot offamily members and then us, um,
is it going to be a lot ofpeople from our church?
Uh, that you know it might be agood thing to go and and and
try to make an effort to to dothat.
If I can, um, can we go to apart of it and then make sure we
get home early enough torelieve our sitter or bring the
kids home because they stayingout late and things like that?
(38:20):
Um, you know atmosphere, soatmosphere, distance, uh, um,
expectation of the couple, uhand um, and you know just, our
family and circumstances, ourfamily circumstances, yeah, yeah
, they all play into that.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Yeah, do you ever feel uncomfy as a pastor, going
to the wedding Like everyone'slooking?
At you knowing that you justmarried the couple and they're
like watching to see if youdrink anything or or what you
ever feel strange about that umor just kind of like, I mean,
I'm here just just trying tohave a good time you know, most,
most receptions like, uh, thatof weddings that I've officiated
(39:01):
.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
If they have me do anything at the reception, they
have me pray After that.
I feel like I'm a participant.
I try to give off the vibethough I hate that phrase.
I try to give off the vibe thatI am just, even though I'm a
pastor and I've officiated awedding, I am a member of a
church.
I am a Christian strugglingwith sin as any other person
(39:22):
would.
I'm a normal person, right withsin as any other person would.
Um, I'm a normal person, right?
Like, like, I'm not, I'm notstuffy.
Uh, that doesn't mean that Ican, you know, in my own
conscience, do everything thateverybody else is going to do.
But, um, I'm, I'm happy to be aparticipant, to dance with my
wife to.
Uh, I'm a Baptist who willdance with my wife, right?
So I'll watch.
I'll watch everybody else.
(39:42):
I'll cringe at some toasts thatare made, you know, like
everybody else, yeah, you knowor laugh at toasts that are made
, or smile at toasts that aremade, or cry I am known to be an
emotional person, sopotentially cry Cool.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
I was just curious about that.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
I'm thinking more into like Some pastors are
uncomfortable with drinkingalcohol.
Yeah, some are uncomfortable ornot uncomfortable.
Um, it depends on theconscience of the pastor and his
leadership.
Um, I'm not uncomfortable inthe room unless you know people
are, are are getting drunk, um,uh, in such a way that it would
um, it would um, yeah, yeah,yeah, okay, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Yeah, I'm thinking more towards like the, the whole
, I mean out of the ceremony andwhatnot, like the whole wedding
day.
A lot of people say that youdon't really remember your
wedding day.
Um, and I hear that and like,as I'm planning for my wedding,
you won't remember what I say.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
You'll remember.
You might because I've talkedto you about it so much in
premarital counseling, but Idon't remember anything.
Corey said and I love Corey whomarried us yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, a lot of people say like the entire day like
just flies by, like you don'teven you know, and and like, as
I'm planning for the wedding, Iknow people mean it to be
encouraging.
Like you know, this doesn'tmatter that much.
Like it's fine.
But also, as I'm planning forthe wedding, I'm like well, I
want it to be special, I wantthis to happen, I want that to
happen.
And maybe that's silly, I don'tknow, but I do want to ask is
(41:14):
there a component?
Speaker 1 (41:15):
of your wedding that you remember being like, so
special or something like that.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
We've been going 41 minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
It's not as bad as I thought.
I just looked down, I forgot itdoes count here.
Um so, uh.
So maybe a few more questions.
So is there a component Iremember?
So here's the thing there arepieces, there are multiple
pieces in that day.
There is the standing piece onthe stage.
There is the reception piece,there is the transition pieces
where you might be gettingpictures taken of you guys.
(41:38):
There's the piece of gettingready, there's the piece of
driving with your now husbandaway from the crowd.
There's the piece of runningout through the crowd or walking
out through the crowd.
So there's all these pieces andyou'll remember the pieces.
You just might not rememberthings inside those pieces.
The things that you willprobably remember is how you
(41:59):
felt and how people made youfeel, and maybe a few
conversations that you had.
So when I was getting ready, Iremember that with my guys, when
I was staring at my bride, Iremember that feeling.
I remember what I said to herthat the officiant could hear
(42:20):
but no one else could.
I remember looking at her andcrying.
I remember dancing with my momfor the mother son dance.
Uh, I remember, uh, some of thedriving away.
I remember of having to cleanoff all of the things that was
written all over my car you knowas the grooms would do and I
(42:42):
remember like I'm going to popall the balloons so that we
could actually sit in there, andI remember all of those things.
Um, I remember our drive from,uh uh, columbia, missouri, to
Kansas City, missouri, two hoursfrom, like I don't know, 1130
PM to like 1, 32 AM, and it wasstorming and we couldn't see
well, and we were both fallingasleep at the wheel and having
(43:04):
to, like, go run into a gasstation and get a, a red bull,
just to stay awake to get to ourhotel.
So like, there were things likethat.
I remember I was sick, whichdidn't help.
Um, I had uh, bronchitis and uhand a sinus infection and so,
um, I was dealing with that.
But yeah, yeah, I remember alot of those things okay, yeah,
that's cool, yeah's cool.
(43:25):
Yeah, I don't remember, like,here's the thing.
I remember the dancing portion,but I don't remember much of
the reception, like we ate.
I don't remember much of theeating, or the cake, the cake
sharing thing.
Um, I remember talking todifferent people at their tables
, like we walked around andtalked to people but I don't
remember like really evensetting up their meeting,
(43:46):
because I think we did for five,20, five to 10 to 15 minutes,
maybe 20.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Okay cool.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, that's very nice.
Remember segments and somethings inside.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Relating usually to people.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
That's good.
I like that Cause a lot of Ifeel like a lot of people are
just like the whole day wentpast.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
You won't remember much of what I say, which is
okay.
You won't remember much of whathappens on stage.
You'll remember how they look.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
You'll remember how that moment feels.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Yeah, yeah, cool, all right.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Any other questions?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Do you want me to ask another question?
No, you can ask one more.
I can ask one more.
Do you have one?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
more.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
I do have one more Is it one you are you scared to
ask it?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
No, I'm not scared to ask it, but it has less to do
with, I guess, the weddingceremony and more to do with
just marriage in general.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
So my last question for you is after Sunday, Jade
and I are going to wake up andwe are going to be married.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
It's weird, yeah, real weird.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Ceremony will be over .
Speaker 1 (44:46):
I mean awesome.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Nothing to plan for.
Yeah, weird, yeah, it'll beweird, and we will have made
this commitment the day beforeto one another and to the Lord.
Um, and there is, there'saspects of that that seem very
scary.
You know it's like whoa seemvery scary, you know it's like
(45:08):
Whoa.
I have to be here for thisperson, I have to be vulnerable
with this person.
That's a that's a lot of youknow.
I've been after the wedding andafter the ceremony, like it's
just all of those things youknow, and so I have reasons that
that I know I'm like I want toget married, I want to marry
Jaden, you know.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
That's a good.
I'm glad you do.
It's your bachelor.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
But to a lot of people and to a lot of my
friends.
Some people tell me they'll belike I don't want to get married
because it's a lot, it's toomuch, and so why should people?
Like I said, I have answers tothis.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
This would be a long list of reasons, I know I know.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
But what would you say just off the cuff, like why
should someone desire marriage?
Why should someone desire to bemarried, Because you and Jesse
have been married almost 10years.
You said and it's you know.
So why is it a good thing todesire like no ceremony, no
nothing, but like to be marriedto?
Speaker 1 (46:02):
someone to have that commitment.
Well, not everyone has to getmarried.
No one should feel constrainedto get married as if it's
necessary at a biblical level orat a human flourishing level.
The Bible gives space for thatin 1 Corinthians 7.
But if your reasoning is sothat I can enjoy my life and
(46:28):
don't have to be tied down, Iwould push back on that, and
I'll push back on it just to say, okay, there is joy in marriage
, even though it can bedifficult.
I'll say this marriage is a verysanctifying thing.
Um, so you're living withsomeone who is also a center,
(46:52):
just a really pretty one, right?
Uh?
And so you learn each other'sstrengths and weaknesses, uh,
you know how to get on eachother's nerves and sometimes,
and sometimes you use that whichis awful, and so the Lord
sanctifies your heart throughthe giving of your heart.
So I would say, like, if you,in serving the Lord, find
(47:18):
someone who is also serving theLord and you are physically and
spiritually attracted to them,there's nothing wrong in getting
married.
The Lord will use that inprofound ways to shape you in
his likeness, and it's going tobe a lot of fun, right?
I'm not saying you can't havefun outside of a marriage.
(47:43):
I am saying God created it foryour joy.
But if the Lord calls you tothe mission field and you feel
like you know I'm concerned froma wife's safety for that reason
, I think that's fewer and farbetween that someone might feel
that particular calling and notburn with passion, then that
person can go and serve in themission field.
But if you burn with, if you'repursuing the Lord, you find
(48:04):
someone beside you is pursuingthe Lord and you just can't keep
your mind off of them.
Marry him.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Yeah, it's a beautiful good thing.
It's very nice.
Speaker 3 (48:13):
I think it's funny how you called called Jesse
pretty sinner.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Well, whether she would call, whether she would
call me a pretty, I don't knowhope handsome.
Definitely a sinner so.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
I hope she listens to this she does listen to the
podcast, that's actually reallyromantic.
I feel like she's such a prettycause it's.
It's.
I mean, yeah, you're gettingmarried to another center.
It's.
Yeah, that's real.
That's why it's so funny though.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Yeah, you said something, I'll just comment on
it real fast.
So, um, jesse and I have twokids, especially with the first
one.
When you're in the hospitalafter your wife has delivered a
baby, you're checking on yourwife, but the doctors will come
in.
Nurses will come in and checkon your wife for things you
(49:00):
wouldn't know.
If she's okay, has she hadenough fluids?
I don't know right, she dranksome water.
They'll check on the baby.
Was the baby doing this or this,I don't know.
She drank some water.
They'll check on the baby.
Was the baby doing this or this?
I don't know.
I've never done this before.
And then you get home andyou're like with your baby and
you're like what do we doTonight?
We're going to go to sleep andthere's no one waking us up and
(49:21):
waking the baby up every threehours.
Now you'll learn that the babydoes wake up every three hours
and will cry and tell you whatit needs or that it needs
something.
He or she needs something.
But it's like this precious giftGod has given you that you
don't know yet how to steward.
That's the same thing inmarriage For like a year.
It's going to be weird sayingyou're a husband or you're a
(49:42):
wife, or I have a wife, or Ihave a husband.
But God is not only going tosanctify you through the
marriage, he's going to sanctifyyou in learning how to be
married.
Like that's a weird thing,right?
And so they depend on you, youdepend on them.
One more quick thing.
I'm rambling here.
I'm rambling here.
(50:21):
But if you practice marriagebefore you're married meaning
you live with someone or you'reintimate with someone, whatever
there's much to be said aboutthat and much to be said about
that being sin and also therebeing grace and repenting of
that.
I'm just saying this there is abeautiful blessing inside the
covenant of marriage with thevulnerability that's in it.
It's like you are beingincredibly vulnerable.
This person knows you more thanany other person, but it's
covered by the covenant you madewith them, and so you have this
like a blessed vulnerabilitythat is covered by a covenant
(50:43):
where, like, I know you morethan anybody else, but I'm not
going anywhere.
Yeah, right, and I mean, whatdoes Christ say?
I know you more than anybodyelse but I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah Right, yeah, yeah yeah.
That's just something to thinkabout.
Speaker 3 (50:57):
Well, thanks, hey, thanks for thanks for joining me
on this episode and letting meask you very many questions
about, about wedding ceremonies.
What are you looking for?
Yay?
Thanks so much, Trent, foranswering all of the questions
so grateful.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Yeah, thanks for asking them.
Thanks for joining me in thepodcast.
Absolutely Thanks for leadingthe questions and stuff like
that.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
Absolutely hey.
Next, when you guys hear this,this episode will be released
and I will be in the middle ofgetting married.
Oh, they're like yeah, oh themusic.
That's all beautiful, great job, phenomenal.
(51:41):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Have a great time.
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