#8 Burn It Down, Build It True

What if the dream you built doesn’t feel like your life? We open the door on a painfully honest truth: you can hit seven figures, buy the picture-perfect house, and still carry a quiet ache that the next milestone won’t fix. That’s the hedonic treadmill at work—dopamine-fueled highs that fade fast—plus the social media illusion that tells you scaling is the only story worth telling.

I share how my business mirrored my brain chemistry—designed around launches, spikes, and “bigger” as a strategy—and why it finally collapsed under misalignment. We dig into brain DNA and the role of dopamine in the chase, the diminishing returns of money on happiness, and the heavy toll of comparison and documentation on high achievers and healthcare professionals. Then we pivot from diagnosis to design: five practical priorities that help you step off the treadmill and into a steadier, more meaningful life—health, relationships, experiences over things, meaningful challenges, and keeping money in perspective. You’ll also hear a powerful moment from a Chicago workshop where “I want eight figures” became “I want $500k and peace,” and why that shift might be the bravest metric of all.

This conversation is a reset for anyone stuck in perform-and-prove mode. If you’ve been building what the feed tells you to want, consider this permission to define “enough,” clear your plate, and rebuild around your nervous system and values. We’re choosing work that compounds gently—like podcasting and writing—and measuring success by days that feel human. 

If this resonates, tap follow, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—it helps more people find their way off the treadmill and into a life that actually fits. Thanks for joining me and allowing me to be vulnerable. What I thought I wanted really isn't what I wanted and now I'm building a business on my terms. Have you ever experienced this in life?

Note: This podcast episode is sponsored by Dr. Rewire's Brain DNA test. Learn more at Unshakeablebrain.ai. If you're a practitioner and you're interested in adding this at-home lab test to your toolkit, go to Unshakeablebrain.ai/expert.

I, Dr. Kylie, no longer work with clients in any endeavor. If you'd like more support for your health, I recommend working with the physicians at the EllieMD telemedicine platform. To get started, go to https://elliemd.com/?bp=drkylie. For health and wellness experts looking to provide this resource to your clients, get started at https://elliemd.com/join-us/?bp=drkylie.

Thank you for joining the Unshakeable Brain community. Dr. Kylie

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
When your husband looks at you and says, I just
want you to be happy.
And then you look around and youthink, but I am happy.
I have everything that I'veworked for and wanted.
Or so I thought.
Welcome to Unshakable Brain,your guide to an unshakable
brain.
I'm your host, Dr.

(00:22):
Kylie, and every week we bringyou stories, science, and
strategies to help you brain,help your brain grow stronger,
more resilient, and ready foranything.
This episode is brought to youby Dr.
Rewire's brain DNA test.
Check it out atunshakablebrain.ai.
All right, let's get started.

(00:44):
Today's story is about me andabout how all of us high
achievers have probablyexperienced this in life in one
way or another.
Because as we scroll throughsocial media and we get told
what our businesses should looklike and how it's never enough.

(01:06):
Scale, hit the next level, hitthe next achievement, hit the
next numbers, add this person toyour team, add this AI into your
like there's always somethingthat we are told that we need to
do, to grow bigger, to scale ourbusinesses.
And I got caught in that trap.
Flashback to 2017 when Igraduated chiropractic school, I

(01:30):
knew immediately that I wantedto go out and do my own thing
because I knew how patientsneeded to be treated and they
weren't going to get treated, orso I thought, if I worked for
somebody else doing it theirway.

(02:12):
And he said, Well, we haven'tincorporated any labs into our
program yet.
And that was, to me, a big redflag.
So I wasn't going to pay$20,000for just more textbook work like
a master's degree is.
I went after the certification.
So I had the DR next to my name.
I had the certification.
I knew absolutely nothing aboutbusiness.

(02:36):
In school, we had one class.
And that class was gearedtowards how to get insurance to
pay you for your services.
Not helpful.
I wasn't going to takeinsurance, and I was very clear
from that from the verybeginning.
But more importantly, insurancewasn't going to take me.

(02:58):
So right out of the gate, Istarted my office in 2018 in
January.
I had Kelly with me, and mydream was to have this business
that I could then sell at somepoint.
Well, we all know that thingsshifted in 2020, and I was

(03:19):
already virtual.
So my patient care then wentfrom patient care to helping
practitioners, my colleagues, dothings in the online space.
And I'd grown.
I'd hit that seven-figure mark.
I received over seven figures inrevenue and cash received, I
should specify, in a year.

(03:42):
And we had moved into theperfect house, a big white and
black house with double wideblack doors.
That was what I wanted.
We'd searched house and houseafter house after house after
house.
And in the summer of 2023, wefound this one.
Then we had to sell our oldhouse.
The funny thing is, is thishouse that we're currently in,

(04:03):
we've been in it for two yearsnow, was not the original house
in which we wanted because theoriginal house in which we
wanted it was for sale.
We put our house up for sale,but it got sold before our house
couldn't sell.
And then we put a contract down.
We were in contract for anotherhouse.
And as we were going through thedot your I's and cross your T's

(04:27):
process, my husband found thatit was sinking.
And I was so upset because I'mpregnant with my third baby.
I wanted to be able to movebefore school started so that
Eason could start his firstgrade year in the new school and
not have to transfer in themiddle of the school year.
None of that came to fruition.
We ended up moving to the besthouse we could possibly be in,

(04:49):
in the best neighborhood in justbefore Halloween in 2023 with a
newborn baby and having movedEaston like two months into his
first grade year.
It's all great though, it's allworked out.

Here's the problem (05:05):
I had overhead on my shoulders that
was constantly in the back of mymind.
I had to pay this person, thisperson, that person.
I had yes, cash came in, andyes, a lot of cash went back
out.
And I got to the point where Ididn't know this then, but I was

(05:30):
not happy.
I had the quote successfulbusiness, we had the house, we
had all the things, but deepdown I was not happy.
And then when I had it, now Iwant the next thing.
And I want it to look like this,and I want it to be at this

(05:50):
level, and I want to be able tosell it for this much money, and
I just kept chasing the nextthing until it all came crashing
down.
It's funny how when you're outof alignment with what you and
God want in your life, God takesit away.

(06:10):
And in my 2025 year, it has beentaken away.
And I couldn't be more gratefulas I look back.
Yeah, am I still suffering?
Am I still climbing out of thered hole from a money
perspective?
Yes.
But I'm building a business nowfor me.

(06:31):
I'm building something that Ienjoy that can bring me a number
on the financial timeline thatI'm not in, I'm not so set on.
It's just, it is what it is, andit will be what it will be.
But I've always said for thelast several years that if I
could just get paid to podcast,I would.

(06:54):
Well, here I am getting paid topodcast.
So, one, be careful what you saybecause it'll probably come to
come to fruition.
And two, if you're not happy,it's okay to blow things up.
And I want to get into thatthought today.
It's called the hedonictreadmill, and I had to look up

(07:18):
what even the word hedonic is.
So, of course, I pulled up myfriendly AI, and I asked it,
What is hedonic?
Hedonic comes from the GreekGreek word hedon, which means
pleasure.
Hedonic happiness equalspleasure-based happiness.

(07:41):
The good feelings you get fromeating delicious food, buying
something new, getting apromotion, winning an award,
physical comfort, sensorypleasures.
It's the feels good in themoment type of happiness, the
rush, the high, the dopaminehit.
The problem is hedonic happinessfades fast.

(08:02):
That's why it's called thehedonic treadmill.
You keep chasing the next hit ofpleasure because the last one
has worn off.
Inside my business, I hadcreated live launching sales

(08:23):
processes.
Was I very good at these salesprocesses?
Oh yes.
And not every single time wasthis big great success.
In fact, you see the big greatsuccess processes, but you also
don't see the ones that I failedat and that we didn't get
anything from, or we barely gotanything from, but those led to
the big moments.

(08:46):
So when you're chasing what youthink you want, you're going to
experience the hedonictreadmill, the pleasure-based
happiness where you feel good inthe moment, and then in after
that moment, it's worn off, andyou're next, you're chasing the
next great thing.
That was me.

(09:07):
And I took my own brain DNA testand I discovered that, hmm, it's
actually in my brain DNA.
My DNA is set to releasedopamine really quickly and then
excrete it really quickly.
So if you think about it, I hadthis rush of dopamine hit, and

(09:28):
then it's gone out of my system,and I'm constantly searching for
that next rush.
Well, because my nervous systemis so familiar with that, I
built a business that did theexact same thing.
So now I'm having to rewire mynervous system, train it
differently so that I can thenbuild a business that runs

(09:51):
differently.
That runs slowly but steadilyforward.
Did you know that moneycorrelates with happiness up to
about$75,000 a year?
Beyond that, the diminish itdiminishes returns as far as
money creates happiness.

(10:12):
That's not the case.
I was listening to one of theseDave Ramsey reels that pop up on
my socials.
And the guy says, you know, I'mdebt-free, I'm 38 years old,
I've gone through the sevensteps of being debt-free.
And he's like, I just don't findjoy in writing checks to
charities.
And Dave's reply was, Oh, you'vefigured out that money doesn't

(10:36):
buy happiness.
You need to have a purpose, amission, something to look
forward to in life that goesbeyond money.
Check this out.
Physicians are 82.3% more likelyto experience burnout than any
other U.S.
worker.

(10:56):
The females are hit harder.
They are at a 27% higher risk ofburnout.
If you are a female physician,you have a 47.2% higher risk of
burnout than the men.
Physicians spend up to 9.2 hoursweekly on documentation.

(11:18):
That impacts this feeling ofburnout.
42% of depressed physiciansworry about employers or their
boards or people, other peoplefinding out about their life.
Kind of crazy that we are go,go, go, go, go in order to get
the dang degree.
And then once we get the dangdegree, we don't know how to

(11:40):
stop because we've been trainedour whole life.
That's the next test, it's thenext quarter, it's the next
exam, it's the next boards, it'sthe next whatever it is.
Then we add to the social mediaillusion.
Social media sold me thedefinition of success.

(12:01):
Now that I've realized that,when it's constantly about
scaling, growing, what's yournext level?
Add this person to your team.
And then the comparisonitis.
This person's doing XYZ.
I'm doing XYZ.
In the back of my mind, usuallythat person never has kids
either.

(12:23):
The damage it's causing isgreater than social media
because it increases negativeemotions, especially when you're
comparing yourself to others.
The curated lie social media hasdepicted is that it portrays
cultivated perceptions ofinauthentic happiness, leading
to diminished self-esteem inanybody who's scrolling.

(12:45):
So what you're seeing is peoplewho are pretending that they're
happy.
Most likely they're similar toyou.
If you haven't listened to abrain bite yet, you probably
should, especially in the nearfuture when we talk about the
body budget inside our brainbite episode.

(13:10):
Okay.
So I've I thought I've got allthe pieces.
But is it true happiness?
No.
Is it something that's I canhandle on a long-term basis?
No.
Is it something that I want tohandle on a long-term basis?
No.
Okay, let's scratch it, let'sget rid of it, let's clear the

(13:33):
plate, let's end it to the pointwhere we're closing down the I'm
closing down the LLC and I'mmoving into a new phase of me, a
new phase of business that Ilove.
Because if I could just podcastall day long, I would.
So welcome to the unshakablebrain podcast.
I am here to introduce newpeople, new concepts, and most

(13:57):
importantly, help you create anunshakable brain.
Really, we're on this journeytogether, helping myself create
an unshakable brain.
So, what happens moving forward?
How do we create happiness?
How do we create an unshakablebrain despite all of the noise

(14:20):
around us?
Okay, so getting out of thishedonic treadmill, this, oh, I
feel good in the moment.
All right, now I'm constantlylooking for the next hit.
We have to focus on fivedifferent things.
One, our health, two, ourrelationships, three,
experiences over material goods,four, meaningful challenges, and

(14:42):
five, keeping money inperspective.
So let me say those things onemore time because I have a
feeling we have a lot of highachievers listening to this
because you're like me, and wewant to feel good a lot more
often than we are used to inlife.
No matter how many accolades orletters or certifications we

(15:02):
have next to our name, it'sstill leaving us feeling empty.
So, five priorities are onehealth, two relationships, three
experiences over material goods,four meaningful challenges, and

(15:23):
five keeping money inperspective.
Okay.
Ask yourself what you're reallychasing.
Is it external validation or isit internal fulfillment?
Are you building what socialmedia says that you should want

(15:44):
or something that you actuallywant?
And then last but not least, Ihighly recommend you understand
your own brain chemistry bytaking a brain DNA test.
You can learn more atunshakablebrain.ai.
You can also order your teststhere.

(16:04):
I want I want to take you backinto a moment of time.
In May of 2024, nope, May of2025.
I jumped on a plane with afriend to Chicago.
Dr.
Rewire had, he and I had been inconversation for probably two
months now about this brain DNAtest.

(16:26):
And he's like, hey, I'm hostingthis event in Chicago.
You're welcome to come.
It's on me.
So I'm like, sure, great.
I'll jump on.
Come.
I've seen him speak, but I'venever been to one of his events.
So I go in there and we're doingthis rewire the mind process.
And if you are a practitioner,you should probably look into

(16:47):
that and at least go to one ofthese.
It's a series, it's a process,which he now has a certification
for as well.
If you're a practitioner andwant to get into it, I can post
the details in the show notes.
And we can get to it later on ina future podcast because I know
he's going to come talk talk toyou guys about this on a podcast

(17:09):
episode.
But I'm sitting in the room.
There's probably 20 of us in theroom.
And one of the ladies sittingnext to me, she's two, two down.
He comes over here to her.
And we're doing this real, thisthing on our paper, this process
where we're having to figure outwhat it is that we actually

(17:32):
want, what we truly want.
And he comes over to her, nailsdown, gets into her eye level,
and just starts grilling.
We were all sitting in silencejust watching this.
But in reality, what she wasbeing grilled on was what every
single one of us in the roomwere needing to hear, myself

(17:56):
included.
He said, What do you want?
And she replies back, Well, Iwant an eight-figure business.
I want to do$10 million.
Now she, knowing her history alittle bit of it, anyways, she
had a law firm in which 2022lost everything.

(18:18):
And yeah.
She wanted to build this newbusiness.
And like I've been explaining toyou, is it what she truly
wanted, or is it just what shethought she wanted because of
what she was being told?
The subliminal messages that wesee all around us, especially on

(18:39):
the ding screens.
And he starts drilling her andquestioning her and questioning
her and questioning her untilfinally she breaks down and
says, I only want to make500,000.
I want to have 200,000 enough totake home to my family.
I don't want the stress and theoverhead of eight figures.

(19:00):
And I said, that was me.
I was building something that Ithought I wanted, something that
other people were deeming wasthe idea of success.
What success terminated, what itlooked like.
Not what I internally wanted.

(19:22):
So utilizing this podcast and mynew book, I am building
something that I want.
Helping to create my ownunshakable brain while I help
you guys create unshakablebrains as well.
So I want you to think reallydeeply.
Especially if you're anentrepreneur, are you building

(19:44):
something that you want?
You need to pivot.
It's okay to pivot.
It's okay to burn things down.
It's okay to sell it and moveon.
I've done it.
I've burned it down.
Only to rebuild it the way Iwant to build it.
All right.

(20:05):
That's a wrap.
I'm Dr.
Kylie and welcome to theUnshakable Brain Podcast.
If you would be so kind, I wouldgreatly appreciate a review and
to send this podcast to a friendwho can benefit from it.
I'll be here every week with alonger episode and a brain bite,

(20:26):
a short, quick tip.
See you next time.