Fear of a Coffee Cup - Why Context is Crucial to Understanding Stalking, with SPARC

Would seeing a cup of coffee terrify you? What if it was made exactly how you like it from that new café you just found? What if you found the cup of coffee in your car, still warm, with a nickname you haven’t used in years scrawled on the side? 

Julia Holtemeyer of the Stalking Awareness, Prevention and Resource Center (SPARC) joins this episode of Unsilenced to:

• Explore what constitutes stalking
• Share real-life examples of stalking - demonstrating why context is imperative to understanding the severity of threats
• Explain how dangerous stalking can be in an intimate partner relationship

Contents:

(0:00) Introduction

(01:42) Definition of stalking

(07:10) Retroactive fear

(08:42) Examples of Stalking

(09:13) Fear of a Coffee Cup

(11:37) Fear of Flower Delivery

(12:56) Fear of a Bottle Cap

(14:02) Social and Professional Costs

(15:28) Why Do People Stalk?

(21:34) Stalking and Mental Health Issues

(24:11) Stalking and Intimate Partner Relationships

(30:50) About JBWS & Services

About JBWS and Services:

If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services.

If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv. 

⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

 

ABOUT SPARC:

SPARC (Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center) is a federally funded project providing education and resources about the crime of stalking. SPARC aims to enhance the response to stalking by educating the professionals tasked with keeping stalking victims safe and holding offenders accountable. To stay up-to-date on SPARC’s resources and offerings, follow us on social media (Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter) @FollowUsLegally and/or subscribe to our quarterly newsletter. SPARC does not provide direct services to victims. We recommend that stalking victims work with a local victim advocate, and the Victim Connect hotline can help connect victims with one. Local victim advocates can help plan for safety, discuss legal options, and connect victims with additional services. Victim Connect can be contacted at https://victimconnect.org/ for online messaging and information, and by phone at 1-855-484-2846. Local domestic violence and sexual assault support services/organizations often work with stalking victims/survivors, even when those victimizations are not part of the stalking. Unfortunately, there are no hotlines and few support service organizations that specifically work with victims/survivors of stalking.

The list below includes specific resources mentioned in the podcast and links to learn more about stalking:

• Short videos on a variety of topics around stalking, including the SLII framework, how stalking and DV intersect, and media portrayals of stalking
• Specific questions to help identify stalking SLII behaviors
• More information about how movies and TV portray stalking
• Dive deeper and learn more about stalking by watching/listening to a recorded webinar training
• Resources to help support loved ones bein