October 28, 2025 • 31 mins
Today, we're diving into the fascinating world of creative thinking. We'll explore how thinking outside the box can spark innovation and lead to amazing ideas. We'll share some tips on how to break free from conventional thought patterns and embrace your inner creativity. Plus, we’ll discuss some real-life examples that show just how powerful a fresh perspective can be. So, if you're ready to unleash your imagination and maybe even have a chuckle or two along the way, stick around!
Engaging with the complexities of modern life, we tackled a variety of topics that resonate with anyone trying to navigate today’s fast-paced world. We began by discussing the importance of balance—how to juggle work, personal life, and self-care without feeling like a circus performer. Our conversation veered into the realm of productivity hacks, sharing our favorite tips that help us stay organized and motivated. We didn’t shy away from the challenges, either; we opened up about the struggles we face, including burnout and the pressure to always be ‘on’. The takeaway? It’s okay to pause, reassess, and even take a break from the hustle. After all, we’re human, not robots!
Takeaways:
- In this episode, we explored the importance of balancing work and personal life effectively.
- We discussed how humor can lighten serious topics and make conversations more engaging.
- It's essential to stay curious and keep learning, even when the going gets tough.
- We shared some personal stories that highlight the power of resilience in challenging times.
- Networking is not just about connections; it's about building meaningful relationships over time.
- Embracing change can lead to unexpected opportunities and growth in our careers.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:40):
Well, hello, everybody, andwelcome to another amazing episode
of Unstoppable Success.
This is the podcast where wehear from amazing leaders and individuals
about their rise to successand how they actually bring success
not only to the workforce, butto their everyday life.
And today I have an amazingguest, Rita Ernst.
(01:02):
And let me tell you a littlebit about Rita.
Let me just go to her websiteand I'm going to tell you a little
bit about her because she is awesome.
She, first of all, has a hugemission, which is to change the way
organizations lead byprioritizing trust and autonomy with
their teams.
And she believes that whenpeople are empowered to take ownership
of their roles and arecelebrated for the unique talents,
(01:25):
it fosters a culture ofengagement and loyalty and growth.
And her backstart is she is anexpert in organizational psychology,
which means she has a deepunderstanding about how people design
workplaces so that peopleindividually and collectively achieve
their fullest potential.
Rita.
(01:45):
So welcome to this podcastbecause, first of all, I'm a firm
believer that if we havebetter leaders in the world, we would
have better, happiercompanies, Better, happier people,
which then four trickles downto, like, everybody being happier.
(02:05):
Well, I, yes, I will, I willsupport that, Jacqueline.
And I will also say, though,that a big part of my mission is
activating people tounderstand that they do not have
to give all that power tosomebody else.
That you get to start byleading yourself.
Which is, which is why thiscollaboration today, this conversation
(02:27):
is, is.
Is kismet for us because we,we both see the world in the same
place, that our personalagency is so valuable to us, and
we should never be giving thataway to someone else.
Yep.
Yeah.
Sareeda, tell us a little bitabout, you know, you have created
this great organization, buttell us how you have become that
(02:50):
unstoppable, successful human yourself.
I have to tell you that thesecret for me has been being true
to where I am in my life andwhat I need as a whole person.
And so I started my career incorporate life.
(03:14):
I did the fast climb.
I led large organizations, andI was frankly having.
I was having a great time.
I loved my career life and allthat I was able to accomplish.
And then after about sevenyears together, my husband and I
decided we wanted to have a family.
And we were getting to an agewhere we needed to take action, to
(03:39):
make.
To move that forward.
We couldn't keep putting itoff too much longer.
And so after my first childwas born, I stayed in the workforce
and my husband stayed home forher first three and a half years.
And was sort of the caregiverin the home.
And then he came to me.
I was, I was, at that time Iwas working in a corporate position,
(03:59):
which was not a good culturefit for me at all.
I found myself every daychoosing to stand in my personal
values, even when I felt thatthey were not being reflected back
to me in the organization.
And he just said, you know,walk away.
Just, just walk away and tagme out like I'm ready to go back
to work.
(04:20):
And so what started as what wethought was just going to be this
short sabbatical ended up in.
I ended up pregnant again andchild number two coming and extending
that into what I considered tobe sort of my freelance season.
So I did my freelanceconsulting season and then I realized,
(04:41):
you know, I really want to beinvolved in my children's school
and in their lives and intheir sports and in, in the things
that they are doing.
And my experience in corporatelife said that will not be possible.
You will always be expected tosacrifice your time with your children
(05:03):
for the wealth of this company.
And the only way that I couldsee that I would have any other choice
would be to have my own business.
So I took my freelance andturned it into my own business and
said, I'm going to give myselfthe flexibility that I need.
(05:25):
And I, I, honestly,Jacqueline, I really did not think
it was possible.
And what saddens me so much isthat I think thought we were making
such tremendous strides in anew direction around our thinking
to only be in the season rightnow, in the last 18 months where
we're getting such a stronganti flexibility response in so many
(05:52):
corporations and this drumbeatabout, about profit, about Wall street
and into, you know, in, incompletely subjugating to the bottom
of the list in many instanceshumanity and the people inside of
the organizations.
And it saddens me deeplybecause I really, I really appreciate
(06:16):
what I have been able tocreate and the success that I have
is because I gave myselfpermission to exchange wealth building
for life building.
(06:55):
Oh, wait.
Are you there?
Yeah.
Can you hear me now?
I hear you.
You went away and I don'tknow, I don't know what happened.
I was hearing you fine andthen you were gone.
And that was.
All right, so now we're back.
Okay, so listeners, here's the thing.
This is the case that read itsaying, know your values.
You have to know your valuesand know who you are.
(07:16):
And if the company you arewith, if the company you are with
or if you are leading thecharge, making sure that you know
the Values of the people thatare on your team because they matter.
Everybody matters.
And if you are, you know, ifyou're listening and you're unhappy
(07:37):
with the corporate life, itmay not be just the corporate life.
It actually may be the companythat you're in and you have to find
the right one that believes inyou and believes in, you know, that
allows you to do those things.
Right.
To have the family, to nothave to sacrifice.
And the companies that dothat, and I know that there are some,
but there are far and fewbetween, they thrive well.
(08:03):
And I do a lot of work todayin my practice with privately owned
companies.
It's my preferred group towork with people because there's
so much skin in the game in aprivately held company, the leader
at the top of the organization.
They typically know the peopleinside of their organization and
they do have a deep caring.
(08:25):
And I see them meeting themoment, offering the flexibility,
offering the, the connectivitythat people need.
None of us want to be a widgetin the machine.
Right.
Yeah.
We, we are individuals.
We have unique talent, skillsand capabilities, and we want to
(08:48):
be seen for that.
And this idea of, of trying toerase all of that and put us back
in cubicles and turn us intothe stepper wives again, it's.
Yeah, I like, I wish everybodycould see your facial expression.
It's.
Yeah, exactly.
It is that feeling that somany of us have.
(09:10):
And what's so stunning aboutthis is that in today's economy,
where young people have somany other options, where the gig
economy is still going prettystrongly, it's surprising to me that
(09:31):
this is the corporate play.
But, you know, really smartsmall businesses, they're capitalizing
on this because there'samazingly talented people out there
who do not want to play thatcorporate game anymore.
And if you are recruiting foryour small company and you are smart,
(09:51):
you can get some of the besttalent on the planet right now into
your organization with the,with that.
Right.
Offer of that small business offer.
Yep.
You know, I think there,there's a couple things that I think
that are so important.
It's like.
It is.
There's so much small.
Small businesses truly,obviously are the backbone of society
(10:12):
and culture and things that wedo in the United States here and
even around the world, Smallbusinesses like rule and being able
to, you know, there's, there'sa lot of things like, there's like,
you need to know what you wantand what, what you want to have in
your life.
What is that mission that youbelieve in so that you can either
(10:35):
attach it to the company thatyou're with.
Or maybe you'd be need to bepart of that gig economy, but your
own personal mission andvision for your life needs to.
Again, I'll go back, likealign with the company that you're,
that you're with or maybe youstart your.
Either you start your own oryou become part of the gig economy
(10:55):
and you, you know, there's somany different ways, but at the end
of the day, your ultimatehappiness should not be tied to somebody
else's profit.
I have over the past threeyears and I intend to for the next
decade of years to attend theannual World Happiness Summit, my
all time favorite conference.
(11:16):
Each year we talk about thedefinition of happiness or what is
happiness.
One of my favorite definitionsof happiness came from Professor
Fred Luskin from StanfordUniversity who said happiness is
simply wanting what you have.
Everything else is stress.
(11:37):
And I think this is what inthe generational differences what
so many manage people,managers don't understand about younger
workers.
They are more interested inhappiness from that definition wanting
what they have than they arechasing wealth.
(11:59):
And you know, the, the, thegasoline underneath that has powered
corporate life for so long hasbeen the strive for something more.
That's been the gasolinepeople who are just want more and
more.
Not, not about being happywith what you have, but the chase
(12:22):
for more.
What's more, more title, morepay, more responsibility, you know,
better projects.
All of these things.
Not, not about really lovingand appreciating what you have.
Now we have a whole generationthat is like, man, I don't want to
stress about any of that.
Like just give me somethingreasonable that I can enjoy and be
happy.
(12:42):
I just wanna want what I have.
And that, that is such asignificant shift in mindset and
it's, it's something that iscreating a lot of the generational
tension right now that this,this story that we tell about people
don't want to work anymore, Idon't think is an accurate story
(13:05):
because I think they do wantto work and I do think they want
to be successful.
But their definition of thatis very different and I think it
is more aligned with what Dr.Luskin is teaching about really learning
to appreciate and relish inwhat you have and spend less time
(13:26):
focusing on everything else.
Yep.
So what two steps would youhave either a company or a person
do to help them get to thatrelish in what they have and be happy?
I love that question.
Thank you for.
Thank.
Just tee that up beautifullyfor me, Jacqueline.
So I've been doing a lot ofWork in the past two years with intact
(13:50):
teams, entire populationsinside of organizations, at like
all employee meetings where wedo a very specific practice around
one celebrating what weconsider to be our own wins.
So getting people to justacknowledge their own successes,
because for many of us, that'sreally hard.
(14:11):
The story that we tellourselves is that what we are doing
doesn't rise to the level ofworthiness and that is stealing our
happiness.
So when we get people to beginto take pride in whatever their accomplishments
are, we are reinforcing theworthiness that they bring into work
(14:36):
every day.
And that is certainly gettingon that path of wanting what we have.
Right?
Because unworthiness is, issaying, I gotta strive more.
But by getting people toacknowledge their contribution.
So we invite them to talkabout that.
The next thing that we do isthat we invite them to acknowledge
(14:58):
other people, to appreciate,to see and value others around them.
And this is important, ofcourse, to team dynamics.
But the other interestingthing that happens and, and this
is what I would tell yourlisteners to do if you were having
the crappiest day ever.
Like if you just had somebodypee in your Wheaties and you are
(15:19):
just mad as a hornet, like,let me give it all these, these good
1980s phrases, right?
What you need to do, grab yourphone, grab your slack channel, go
to somebody that, that youregularly engage with and write them
(15:41):
a note of appreciation.
You will immediately reset,recalibrate your internal system
because you're going to stepback into a really positive moment
with them.
You're going to be rememberingand reliving that in your mind as
you are writing.
You're going to get thispositivity bump just from acknowledging
(16:05):
that to the other person.
Then you're gifting them thesame thing because when they get
it and read it and receive it,they're going to get this positivity
bump as well.
Right?
So here's two very, very, verysimple practices that anybody can
do that reinforces wantingwhat you have because in both of
(16:27):
those practices, you, you areproclaiming the worthiness of self
and others.
Yeah, I, you know, Iabsolutely love it.
So here's a question I havefor you though.
You know, if, let's firststart with the, you know, the wins.
And, and does it have to be abusiness win or could it be a personal
(16:49):
win?
I, you know, I think personalwins matter.
And this is why I say that,because we are whole beings.
I entered the workforce at atime when the, you know, we were
told, leave your personal lifeat the door.
You know, you're Supposed toput your blinders on, go get in your
cubicle, sit down at yourdesk, and do nothing but think about
(17:14):
your job for eight solid hours.
Right.
You know, except maybe whenyou have your lunch break, you could
over your lunch break, like,make a doctor's appointment or do
something if it was really,really important.
But.
But we are not.
What we know now is that weare whole beings and that it is not
(17:36):
in our nature to sustaincompartmentalization like that.
So I say absolutely, letpeople celebrate anything.
It's actually a wonderfulconversation if you have somebody
in your team and what they arebringing to the group each week when
they're talking about theirproudest accomplishment of the week
(18:00):
is always outside of work.
What a wonderful conversationto engage in.
Hey, Jacqueline, I notice thatyou have a lot more pride about the
things that happen outside ofwork than you seem to have about
what is happening inside of work.
Have you noticed that yourself?
What do you think that's about?
(18:20):
Right?
I mean, what.
What an opportunity to.
To connect.
Maybe they're sellingthemselves short at work, at which
case you're going to reinforcetheir worthiness.
Maybe there's a gap that youneed to be aware of as a teammate
or as the manager in thissituation, that there is some stumbling
block that is getting in theirway, that for whatever reason, they.
(18:44):
They're telling themselvesthey can't speak up about it.
But you've just given thempermission to bring it to.
To your attention.
Right.
So.
But absolutely.
I mean, my daughter.
We're gonna.
Sunday, we're packing up thecar, and we're driving down the road
about an hour and a half, andwe're checking her into her freshman
college dorm.
And.
Yes, that is going to be on myhighlight reel.
(19:07):
Yeah, Right.
For the week.
And it should be.
Right.
And that's what we're talkingabout celebrating.
We're talking aboutcelebrating things that are on our
highlight reel.
Right.
And.
But again, it's.
We.
We've seen this happen insocial media.
The risk is this internal.
Our.
(19:27):
Our inner critic wants toquestion the worthiness of our highlight
reel all the time, and that isactually one of the biggest roadblocks
people have in terms of theirproductivity and performance at work.
It's this conversation goingon right here between ears.
(19:50):
And so helping break through that.
Helping.
Helping people see, you know,anything can be worthy of celebration.
You could actually make a hugemistake, but learn something big
from that mistake, and thatcould be in your highlight reel for
the week, and that could be areal valuable win to share in the
(20:10):
Whole group.
Right.
Well, it's also, you know,when we share and I think this is
actually, you know, I lovewhat you're saying about, you know,
sharing the wins.
And there's a lot of.
There's a lot of things aboutwins that I just.
Two things that I want to share.
Number one is if somebodycan't find the win themselves, then
how positive would it be if,you know, let's say, Rita, you're
(20:34):
like, I can't figure out whatI won.
Whatever, a win this week.
And you and I have beenworking together and I can say, oh
my God, Rita, do you know youjust did this amazing thing.
La, la, la, la, la, whatever.
That is exactly awesome.
Does that make, you know, theother person feel.
So there's a little bit of acombination of like pointing out
to somebody else what they're.
(20:56):
Maybe it's.
You're pointing out withsomebody else's superpowers because
maybe they don't even see itwithin themselves.
Right.
I love that.
And I think you are right andthat, you know, it's one of the things
that we're often the mostblind to are our gifts.
And yeah, you know, what real,what is really the most meaningful
and impactful to other peopleseems ho hum to us.
(21:16):
And we think it's not worthyof speaking to, but other people
are like, oh my God, are youkidding me?
Like, I admire that so deeplyabout you because I could never do
that or be that.
And so again, we, you know,most of us have been taught to eat
a lot of humble pieces and ourinner critic is very strong.
(21:39):
And, and so this practice isso, so very powerful.
And what we have to understandis that this question of worthiness
is always subliminally livinginside of our minds.
(22:02):
And so it is very importantthat, that we have this, this interactivity
that keeps reinforcing.
Yes, you are worthy.
Because if I, if I'mquestioning my worthiness, I can't
even get to meaning.
And then.
And if I can't get to meaning,I can't get to joy.
(22:24):
So first I've got.
It's got to feel worthy, right?
Then I've got to attachmeaning to it.
So it's.
It's got to be greater thanthe sum of just getting some tasks
done.
So what.
Why does this matter in thelarger scheme of things?
Which is another wonderfulconversation to have in your team
on a regular basis.
And you know, why?
Why what we're accomplishingis mattering to us and to the larger
(22:45):
world around us.
And then those things makespace for the joy and the happiness
to be acknowledged and present.
Yeah.
You know, I love this, youknow, and it's.
And acknowledging people,acknowledging that, you know, acknowledging
the joy, letting people findwhere their happiness happens to
(23:08):
be and being able to celebrateothers is so important.
And I love what you sharedabout with your, you know, as you
shared, like having that, youknow, someone's pissed on your Wheaties
day and you go back and youwrite a letter or write something
to somebody, whether it's anemail or what.
But share in gratitude ofsomebody else really does have such
(23:33):
a huge impact on ourselves.
It does.
It.
It.
Mind, body, soul.
It is a mind, body, soul cleanse.
If you have something that issitting like on top of your chest
that you're just like, I needthis weight to go.
This is a mind, body, soulcleanse that you can do.
Yeah.
So, listeners, I want you tounderstand, like, all these things
(23:57):
that Rita is sharing are justamazing steps that you can take to
not only be your own, your ownbest self, to level up with your
team, have unstoppable successpersonally and have unstoppable success
for your team and that.
And just think about the goodthat that will spread across everything
(24:24):
when you can have that foryour team and your company and yourself.
You know, it's that little.
It's like, you know, a smileis contagious.
And so is this.
Well, I think about.
In many organizations, youhave a weekly team meeting you're
(24:45):
required to attend.
Right.
It's usually happening on aMonday or a Friday, but everybody
gathers at some point in arooms, a conference room somewhere.
And as people are gathering, what.
What is the energy that isgetting invited into the room in
many cases, people.
People are complaining.
Oh, my God, what a week.
Oh, my gosh.
(25:07):
You know, it was horrible.
The finance people were all,you know, complaining.
They don't want to approvethis, you know, whatever it is.
People are.
People commiserate.
Yes.
Our.
Unfortunately, part of ourhumanness is that we commiserate.
It's a reflexive language for us.
(25:27):
Commiseration.
So, so what we're retrainingis when people gather in a room,
instead of letting the smalltalk default to commiseration, when
we gather in a room, our smalltalk is going to default to wins,
it's going to default to what's.
And that's not to say in thefull practice that I teach, there
(25:52):
are five conversations, andone of the conversations is what
needs to improve.
Right.
So that is a place for.
For those complaints to comeforward in a healthy way.
But when complaining becomescommiseration, it.
Oh, it sucks the energy out ofthe room and, and it will be the
(26:13):
default unless youintentionally create a practice where
you shift the energy and youallow for this to be a positive energy
movement.
But once you start, once youset the intention and you start the
habit and the habitestablishes, then it becomes so much
(26:36):
easier.
Right?
Yeah.
I love this.
Listeners, I want you tounderstand that is a huge key thing
to a huge key takeaway becauseit's not just even for your company,
it's for yourself.
If you, you know, you'veprobably heard it before, if you
have a negative thought or,you know, negativity breeds negativity,
you need to nip that.
If you can have and celebrateyour wins, your team wins, or think
(27:01):
about when you've got thosenegative thoughts going in between,
you know, your head not to be,to be the visual might be too much,
but like pop it like a pimple, right?
You know, and put in the good,and put all that good stuff in, like
give yourself a positive talk,share positivity or share the win
(27:21):
or something of gratitude ofsomebody else and you will see amazing
things happen.
Well, can I, can I share real quick?
Here's, here's theneuroscience behind this and why
this is so important.
So what I would say to you isif you've got some, if you've got
legitimate concerns, becauselegitimate concerns, right?
(27:41):
There are real pain pointsthat happen in your job, in your
organization when what I wouldsay is write them down.
It's sort of that idea of puta pin in it, write them down, then
step away from.
Now that you've got themwritten down, you can come back to
them at any time.
Now do your celebration, yourappreciation, right?
(28:02):
Take, take that, that moment.
Do the highlight reel stuff.
Do the appreciation stuff.
Bring that positive energy forward.
Because positive energy is thesource of creativity and innovation.
So if you, if you bring thatenergy to the forefront of everybody's
and activate being our, theirwhole being around that energy, then
(28:26):
you come to the list of hereare the challenges.
We are going to be more creative.
We're going to be faster andmore creative in finding solutions
around those.
Whereas if we start bycomplaining and commiserating and
then we go to that, it's likeyou got low battery signals going
(28:46):
off.
Yeah, right.
So the neuroscience is thatyou better neural pathways get better
creativity and the positiveneural pathways are the ones that
you want to build.
That's a really, really great tip.
So listeners, you've got toconnect with Rita.
She's absolutely amazing.
Great tips, great tools, greatways for you to elevate and be unstoppable
(29:10):
and have that unstoppable success.
So Rita, tell everybody howthey can connect with you and get
more of your amazing wisdom,influence and, you know, jump into
a program with you.
Yes, let's connect.
I would love to do that.
Obviously, educating is partof my jam.
Ignitextraordinary.com willgive you access to everything I have
(29:31):
going on, all of my social handles.
I am Most active on LinkedIn.
I have a YouTube channel atIgnite Extraordinary where I have
content going up daily.
And I have a podcast calledthe Story I'm Telling Myself where
we uncover some of these selflimiting beliefs that we hold.
And I would love to have anyof you join us over there at the
(29:53):
Story I'm Telling Myself andjump in the comments because my guest
and I, we love to engage with you.
Awesome.
Well listeners, all of thosewill be in the show notes as well.
So please do me the favor ofconnecting with Rita and then do
me another favor.
And actually two favors.
One hit subscribe and theother one is to also share this episode
(30:14):
with somebody in your life, inyour business that you think actually
would take away some of thesegreat nuggets that we have shared.
So thank you so much.
Yes, please share.
Right.
I mean this is imagine if wehad all of your listeners, Jacqueline,
take these practices forward.
I mean, you guys are justtaking my heart's desire and helping
(30:38):
bring it into the world.
That would be a beautiful giftto give to me and I would not say
no.
Right?
Right.
So please share and connect.
And Rita, I thank you so muchfor being an amazing guest.
I could talk to you for hours.
And thank you listeners for listening.
This is unstoppable success.
And again, hit subscribe andshare with all of your friends and
(30:59):
colleagues.
Well, hello, everybody, andwelcome to another amazing episode
of Unstoppable Success.
This is the podcast where wehear from amazing leaders and individuals
about their rise to successand how they actually bring success
not only to the workforce, butto their everyday life.
And today I have an amazingguest, Rita Ernst.
(01:02):
And let me tell you a littlebit about Rita.
Let me just go to her websiteand I'm going to tell you a little
bit about her because she is awesome.
She, first of all, has a hugemission, which is to change the way
organizations lead byprioritizing trust and autonomy with
their teams.
And she believes that whenpeople are empowered to take ownership
of their roles and arecelebrated for the unique talents,
(01:25):
it fosters a culture ofengagement and loyalty and growth.
And her backstart is she is anexpert in organizational psychology,
which means she has a deepunderstanding about how people design
workplaces so that peopleindividually and collectively achieve
their fullest potential.
Rita.
(01:45):
So welcome to this podcastbecause, first of all, I'm a firm
believer that if we havebetter leaders in the world, we would
have better, happiercompanies, Better, happier people,
which then four trickles downto, like, everybody being happier.
(02:05):
Well, I, yes, I will, I willsupport that, Jacqueline.
And I will also say, though,that a big part of my mission is
activating people tounderstand that they do not have
to give all that power tosomebody else.
That you get to start byleading yourself.
Which is, which is why thiscollaboration today, this conversation
(02:27):
is, is.
Is kismet for us because we,we both see the world in the same
place, that our personalagency is so valuable to us, and
we should never be giving thataway to someone else.
Yep.
Yeah.
Sareeda, tell us a little bitabout, you know, you have created
this great organization, buttell us how you have become that
(02:50):
unstoppable, successful human yourself.
I have to tell you that thesecret for me has been being true
to where I am in my life andwhat I need as a whole person.
And so I started my career incorporate life.
(03:14):
I did the fast climb.
I led large organizations, andI was frankly having.
I was having a great time.
I loved my career life and allthat I was able to accomplish.
And then after about sevenyears together, my husband and I
decided we wanted to have a family.
And we were getting to an agewhere we needed to take action, to
(03:39):
make.
To move that forward.
We couldn't keep putting itoff too much longer.
And so after my first childwas born, I stayed in the workforce
and my husband stayed home forher first three and a half years.
And was sort of the caregiverin the home.
And then he came to me.
I was, I was, at that time Iwas working in a corporate position,
(03:59):
which was not a good culturefit for me at all.
I found myself every daychoosing to stand in my personal
values, even when I felt thatthey were not being reflected back
to me in the organization.
And he just said, you know,walk away.
Just, just walk away and tagme out like I'm ready to go back
to work.
(04:20):
And so what started as what wethought was just going to be this
short sabbatical ended up in.
I ended up pregnant again andchild number two coming and extending
that into what I considered tobe sort of my freelance season.
So I did my freelanceconsulting season and then I realized,
(04:41):
you know, I really want to beinvolved in my children's school
and in their lives and intheir sports and in, in the things
that they are doing.
And my experience in corporatelife said that will not be possible.
You will always be expected tosacrifice your time with your children
(05:03):
for the wealth of this company.
And the only way that I couldsee that I would have any other choice
would be to have my own business.
So I took my freelance andturned it into my own business and
said, I'm going to give myselfthe flexibility that I need.
(05:25):
And I, I, honestly,Jacqueline, I really did not think
it was possible.
And what saddens me so much isthat I think thought we were making
such tremendous strides in anew direction around our thinking
to only be in the season rightnow, in the last 18 months where
we're getting such a stronganti flexibility response in so many
(05:52):
corporations and this drumbeatabout, about profit, about Wall street
and into, you know, in, incompletely subjugating to the bottom
of the list in many instanceshumanity and the people inside of
the organizations.
And it saddens me deeplybecause I really, I really appreciate
(06:16):
what I have been able tocreate and the success that I have
is because I gave myselfpermission to exchange wealth building
for life building.
(06:55):
Oh, wait.
Are you there?
Yeah.
Can you hear me now?
I hear you.
You went away and I don'tknow, I don't know what happened.
I was hearing you fine andthen you were gone.
And that was.
All right, so now we're back.
Okay, so listeners, here's the thing.
This is the case that read itsaying, know your values.
You have to know your valuesand know who you are.
(07:16):
And if the company you arewith, if the company you are with
or if you are leading thecharge, making sure that you know
the Values of the people thatare on your team because they matter.
Everybody matters.
And if you are, you know, ifyou're listening and you're unhappy
(07:37):
with the corporate life, itmay not be just the corporate life.
It actually may be the companythat you're in and you have to find
the right one that believes inyou and believes in, you know, that
allows you to do those things.
Right.
To have the family, to nothave to sacrifice.
And the companies that dothat, and I know that there are some,
but there are far and fewbetween, they thrive well.
(08:03):
And I do a lot of work todayin my practice with privately owned
companies.
It's my preferred group towork with people because there's
so much skin in the game in aprivately held company, the leader
at the top of the organization.
They typically know the peopleinside of their organization and
they do have a deep caring.
(08:25):
And I see them meeting themoment, offering the flexibility,
offering the, the connectivitythat people need.
None of us want to be a widgetin the machine.
Right.
Yeah.
We, we are individuals.
We have unique talent, skillsand capabilities, and we want to
(08:48):
be seen for that.
And this idea of, of trying toerase all of that and put us back
in cubicles and turn us intothe stepper wives again, it's.
Yeah, I like, I wish everybodycould see your facial expression.
It's.
Yeah, exactly.
It is that feeling that somany of us have.
(09:10):
And what's so stunning aboutthis is that in today's economy,
where young people have somany other options, where the gig
economy is still going prettystrongly, it's surprising to me that
(09:31):
this is the corporate play.
But, you know, really smartsmall businesses, they're capitalizing
on this because there'samazingly talented people out there
who do not want to play thatcorporate game anymore.
And if you are recruiting foryour small company and you are smart,
(09:51):
you can get some of the besttalent on the planet right now into
your organization with the,with that.
Right.
Offer of that small business offer.
Yep.
You know, I think there,there's a couple things that I think
that are so important.
It's like.
It is.
There's so much small.
Small businesses truly,obviously are the backbone of society
(10:12):
and culture and things that wedo in the United States here and
even around the world, Smallbusinesses like rule and being able
to, you know, there's, there'sa lot of things like, there's like,
you need to know what you wantand what, what you want to have in
your life.
What is that mission that youbelieve in so that you can either
(10:35):
attach it to the company thatyou're with.
Or maybe you'd be need to bepart of that gig economy, but your
own personal mission andvision for your life needs to.
Again, I'll go back, likealign with the company that you're,
that you're with or maybe youstart your.
Either you start your own oryou become part of the gig economy
(10:55):
and you, you know, there's somany different ways, but at the end
of the day, your ultimatehappiness should not be tied to somebody
else's profit.
I have over the past threeyears and I intend to for the next
decade of years to attend theannual World Happiness Summit, my
all time favorite conference.
(11:16):
Each year we talk about thedefinition of happiness or what is
happiness.
One of my favorite definitionsof happiness came from Professor
Fred Luskin from StanfordUniversity who said happiness is
simply wanting what you have.
Everything else is stress.
(11:37):
And I think this is what inthe generational differences what
so many manage people,managers don't understand about younger
workers.
They are more interested inhappiness from that definition wanting
what they have than they arechasing wealth.
(11:59):
And you know, the, the, thegasoline underneath that has powered
corporate life for so long hasbeen the strive for something more.
That's been the gasolinepeople who are just want more and
more.
Not, not about being happywith what you have, but the chase
(12:22):
for more.
What's more, more title, morepay, more responsibility, you know,
better projects.
All of these things.
Not, not about really lovingand appreciating what you have.
Now we have a whole generationthat is like, man, I don't want to
stress about any of that.
Like just give me somethingreasonable that I can enjoy and be
happy.
(12:42):
I just wanna want what I have.
And that, that is such asignificant shift in mindset and
it's, it's something that iscreating a lot of the generational
tension right now that this,this story that we tell about people
don't want to work anymore, Idon't think is an accurate story
(13:05):
because I think they do wantto work and I do think they want
to be successful.
But their definition of thatis very different and I think it
is more aligned with what Dr.Luskin is teaching about really learning
to appreciate and relish inwhat you have and spend less time
(13:26):
focusing on everything else.
Yep.
So what two steps would youhave either a company or a person
do to help them get to thatrelish in what they have and be happy?
I love that question.
Thank you for.
Thank.
Just tee that up beautifullyfor me, Jacqueline.
So I've been doing a lot ofWork in the past two years with intact
(13:50):
teams, entire populationsinside of organizations, at like
all employee meetings where wedo a very specific practice around
one celebrating what weconsider to be our own wins.
So getting people to justacknowledge their own successes,
because for many of us, that'sreally hard.
(14:11):
The story that we tellourselves is that what we are doing
doesn't rise to the level ofworthiness and that is stealing our
happiness.
So when we get people to beginto take pride in whatever their accomplishments
are, we are reinforcing theworthiness that they bring into work
(14:36):
every day.
And that is certainly gettingon that path of wanting what we have.
Right?
Because unworthiness is, issaying, I gotta strive more.
But by getting people toacknowledge their contribution.
So we invite them to talkabout that.
The next thing that we do isthat we invite them to acknowledge
(14:58):
other people, to appreciate,to see and value others around them.
And this is important, ofcourse, to team dynamics.
But the other interestingthing that happens and, and this
is what I would tell yourlisteners to do if you were having
the crappiest day ever.
Like if you just had somebodypee in your Wheaties and you are
(15:19):
just mad as a hornet, like,let me give it all these, these good
1980s phrases, right?
What you need to do, grab yourphone, grab your slack channel, go
to somebody that, that youregularly engage with and write them
(15:41):
a note of appreciation.
You will immediately reset,recalibrate your internal system
because you're going to stepback into a really positive moment
with them.
You're going to be rememberingand reliving that in your mind as
you are writing.
You're going to get thispositivity bump just from acknowledging
(16:05):
that to the other person.
Then you're gifting them thesame thing because when they get
it and read it and receive it,they're going to get this positivity
bump as well.
Right?
So here's two very, very, verysimple practices that anybody can
do that reinforces wantingwhat you have because in both of
(16:27):
those practices, you, you areproclaiming the worthiness of self
and others.
Yeah, I, you know, Iabsolutely love it.
So here's a question I havefor you though.
You know, if, let's firststart with the, you know, the wins.
And, and does it have to be abusiness win or could it be a personal
(16:49):
win?
I, you know, I think personalwins matter.
And this is why I say that,because we are whole beings.
I entered the workforce at atime when the, you know, we were
told, leave your personal lifeat the door.
You know, you're Supposed toput your blinders on, go get in your
cubicle, sit down at yourdesk, and do nothing but think about
(17:14):
your job for eight solid hours.
Right.
You know, except maybe whenyou have your lunch break, you could
over your lunch break, like,make a doctor's appointment or do
something if it was really,really important.
But.
But we are not.
What we know now is that weare whole beings and that it is not
(17:36):
in our nature to sustaincompartmentalization like that.
So I say absolutely, letpeople celebrate anything.
It's actually a wonderfulconversation if you have somebody
in your team and what they arebringing to the group each week when
they're talking about theirproudest accomplishment of the week
(18:00):
is always outside of work.
What a wonderful conversationto engage in.
Hey, Jacqueline, I notice thatyou have a lot more pride about the
things that happen outside ofwork than you seem to have about
what is happening inside of work.
Have you noticed that yourself?
What do you think that's about?
(18:20):
Right?
I mean, what.
What an opportunity to.
To connect.
Maybe they're sellingthemselves short at work, at which
case you're going to reinforcetheir worthiness.
Maybe there's a gap that youneed to be aware of as a teammate
or as the manager in thissituation, that there is some stumbling
block that is getting in theirway, that for whatever reason, they.
(18:44):
They're telling themselvesthey can't speak up about it.
But you've just given thempermission to bring it to.
To your attention.
Right.
So.
But absolutely.
I mean, my daughter.
We're gonna.
Sunday, we're packing up thecar, and we're driving down the road
about an hour and a half, andwe're checking her into her freshman
college dorm.
And.
Yes, that is going to be on myhighlight reel.
(19:07):
Yeah, Right.
For the week.
And it should be.
Right.
And that's what we're talkingabout celebrating.
We're talking aboutcelebrating things that are on our
highlight reel.
Right.
And.
But again, it's.
We.
We've seen this happen insocial media.
The risk is this internal.
Our.
(19:27):
Our inner critic wants toquestion the worthiness of our highlight
reel all the time, and that isactually one of the biggest roadblocks
people have in terms of theirproductivity and performance at work.
It's this conversation goingon right here between ears.
(19:50):
And so helping break through that.
Helping.
Helping people see, you know,anything can be worthy of celebration.
You could actually make a hugemistake, but learn something big
from that mistake, and thatcould be in your highlight reel for
the week, and that could be areal valuable win to share in the
(20:10):
Whole group.
Right.
Well, it's also, you know,when we share and I think this is
actually, you know, I lovewhat you're saying about, you know,
sharing the wins.
And there's a lot of.
There's a lot of things aboutwins that I just.
Two things that I want to share.
Number one is if somebodycan't find the win themselves, then
how positive would it be if,you know, let's say, Rita, you're
(20:34):
like, I can't figure out whatI won.
Whatever, a win this week.
And you and I have beenworking together and I can say, oh
my God, Rita, do you know youjust did this amazing thing.
La, la, la, la, la, whatever.
That is exactly awesome.
Does that make, you know, theother person feel.
So there's a little bit of acombination of like pointing out
to somebody else what they're.
(20:56):
Maybe it's.
You're pointing out withsomebody else's superpowers because
maybe they don't even see itwithin themselves.
Right.
I love that.
And I think you are right andthat, you know, it's one of the things
that we're often the mostblind to are our gifts.
And yeah, you know, what real,what is really the most meaningful
and impactful to other peopleseems ho hum to us.
(21:16):
And we think it's not worthyof speaking to, but other people
are like, oh my God, are youkidding me?
Like, I admire that so deeplyabout you because I could never do
that or be that.
And so again, we, you know,most of us have been taught to eat
a lot of humble pieces and ourinner critic is very strong.
(21:39):
And, and so this practice isso, so very powerful.
And what we have to understandis that this question of worthiness
is always subliminally livinginside of our minds.
(22:02):
And so it is very importantthat, that we have this, this interactivity
that keeps reinforcing.
Yes, you are worthy.
Because if I, if I'mquestioning my worthiness, I can't
even get to meaning.
And then.
And if I can't get to meaning,I can't get to joy.
(22:24):
So first I've got.
It's got to feel worthy, right?
Then I've got to attachmeaning to it.
So it's.
It's got to be greater thanthe sum of just getting some tasks
done.
So what.
Why does this matter in thelarger scheme of things?
Which is another wonderfulconversation to have in your team
on a regular basis.
And you know, why?
Why what we're accomplishingis mattering to us and to the larger
(22:45):
world around us.
And then those things makespace for the joy and the happiness
to be acknowledged and present.
Yeah.
You know, I love this, youknow, and it's.
And acknowledging people,acknowledging that, you know, acknowledging
the joy, letting people findwhere their happiness happens to
(23:08):
be and being able to celebrateothers is so important.
And I love what you sharedabout with your, you know, as you
shared, like having that, youknow, someone's pissed on your Wheaties
day and you go back and youwrite a letter or write something
to somebody, whether it's anemail or what.
But share in gratitude ofsomebody else really does have such
(23:33):
a huge impact on ourselves.
It does.
It.
It.
Mind, body, soul.
It is a mind, body, soul cleanse.
If you have something that issitting like on top of your chest
that you're just like, I needthis weight to go.
This is a mind, body, soulcleanse that you can do.
Yeah.
So, listeners, I want you tounderstand, like, all these things
(23:57):
that Rita is sharing are justamazing steps that you can take to
not only be your own, your ownbest self, to level up with your
team, have unstoppable successpersonally and have unstoppable success
for your team and that.
And just think about the goodthat that will spread across everything
(24:24):
when you can have that foryour team and your company and yourself.
You know, it's that little.
It's like, you know, a smileis contagious.
And so is this.
Well, I think about.
In many organizations, youhave a weekly team meeting you're
(24:45):
required to attend.
Right.
It's usually happening on aMonday or a Friday, but everybody
gathers at some point in arooms, a conference room somewhere.
And as people are gathering, what.
What is the energy that isgetting invited into the room in
many cases, people.
People are complaining.
Oh, my God, what a week.
Oh, my gosh.
(25:07):
You know, it was horrible.
The finance people were all,you know, complaining.
They don't want to approvethis, you know, whatever it is.
People are.
People commiserate.
Yes.
Our.
Unfortunately, part of ourhumanness is that we commiserate.
It's a reflexive language for us.
(25:27):
Commiseration.
So, so what we're retrainingis when people gather in a room,
instead of letting the smalltalk default to commiseration, when
we gather in a room, our smalltalk is going to default to wins,
it's going to default to what's.
And that's not to say in thefull practice that I teach, there
(25:52):
are five conversations, andone of the conversations is what
needs to improve.
Right.
So that is a place for.
For those complaints to comeforward in a healthy way.
But when complaining becomescommiseration, it.
Oh, it sucks the energy out ofthe room and, and it will be the
(26:13):
default unless youintentionally create a practice where
you shift the energy and youallow for this to be a positive energy
movement.
But once you start, once youset the intention and you start the
habit and the habitestablishes, then it becomes so much
(26:36):
easier.
Right?
Yeah.
I love this.
Listeners, I want you tounderstand that is a huge key thing
to a huge key takeaway becauseit's not just even for your company,
it's for yourself.
If you, you know, you'veprobably heard it before, if you
have a negative thought or,you know, negativity breeds negativity,
you need to nip that.
If you can have and celebrateyour wins, your team wins, or think
(27:01):
about when you've got thosenegative thoughts going in between,
you know, your head not to be,to be the visual might be too much,
but like pop it like a pimple, right?
You know, and put in the good,and put all that good stuff in, like
give yourself a positive talk,share positivity or share the win
(27:21):
or something of gratitude ofsomebody else and you will see amazing
things happen.
Well, can I, can I share real quick?
Here's, here's theneuroscience behind this and why
this is so important.
So what I would say to you isif you've got some, if you've got
legitimate concerns, becauselegitimate concerns, right?
(27:41):
There are real pain pointsthat happen in your job, in your
organization when what I wouldsay is write them down.
It's sort of that idea of puta pin in it, write them down, then
step away from.
Now that you've got themwritten down, you can come back to
them at any time.
Now do your celebration, yourappreciation, right?
(28:02):
Take, take that, that moment.
Do the highlight reel stuff.
Do the appreciation stuff.
Bring that positive energy forward.
Because positive energy is thesource of creativity and innovation.
So if you, if you bring thatenergy to the forefront of everybody's
and activate being our, theirwhole being around that energy, then
(28:26):
you come to the list of hereare the challenges.
We are going to be more creative.
We're going to be faster andmore creative in finding solutions
around those.
Whereas if we start bycomplaining and commiserating and
then we go to that, it's likeyou got low battery signals going
(28:46):
off.
Yeah, right.
So the neuroscience is thatyou better neural pathways get better
creativity and the positiveneural pathways are the ones that
you want to build.
That's a really, really great tip.
So listeners, you've got toconnect with Rita.
She's absolutely amazing.
Great tips, great tools, greatways for you to elevate and be unstoppable
(29:10):
and have that unstoppable success.
So Rita, tell everybody howthey can connect with you and get
more of your amazing wisdom,influence and, you know, jump into
a program with you.
Yes, let's connect.
I would love to do that.
Obviously, educating is partof my jam.
Ignitextraordinary.com willgive you access to everything I have
(29:31):
going on, all of my social handles.
I am Most active on LinkedIn.
I have a YouTube channel atIgnite Extraordinary where I have
content going up daily.
And I have a podcast calledthe Story I'm Telling Myself where
we uncover some of these selflimiting beliefs that we hold.
And I would love to have anyof you join us over there at the
(29:53):
Story I'm Telling Myself andjump in the comments because my guest
and I, we love to engage with you.
Awesome.
Well listeners, all of thosewill be in the show notes as well.
So please do me the favor ofconnecting with Rita and then do
me another favor.
And actually two favors.
One hit subscribe and theother one is to also share this episode
(30:14):
with somebody in your life, inyour business that you think actually
would take away some of thesegreat nuggets that we have shared.
So thank you so much.
Yes, please share.
Right.
I mean this is imagine if wehad all of your listeners, Jacqueline,
take these practices forward.
I mean, you guys are justtaking my heart's desire and helping
(30:38):
bring it into the world.
That would be a beautiful giftto give to me and I would not say
no.
Right?
Right.
So please share and connect.
And Rita, I thank you so muchfor being an amazing guest.
I could talk to you for hours.
And thank you listeners for listening.
This is unstoppable success.
And again, hit subscribe andshare with all of your friends and
(30:59):
colleagues.
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