Ever had sex with a partner who was physically present but clearly somewhere else? Welcome to the “What the Fuck Just Happened?” club. This episode is for every partner who’s ever wondered why their neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or just beautifully complex lover seemed to disappear mid-connection—while their body kept going through the motions.
Dr. Misty (Untamed Ember) breaks down what dissociation really looks like during sex, why it’s not a Yelp review of your skills, and how to create the kind of safety that brings your person back—without pressure, shame, or performance. Learn how to spot the subtle signs, what to do (and NOT do) when it happens, and why real intimacy means honoring nervous system reality, not just consent on paper.
We’re throwing out the toxic scripts about sexual perfection, reclaiming what it means to love someone with trauma, and getting nerdy about co-regulation, nervous system signals, and non-performative presence. Bonus: Grab the partner’s worksheet in The Ember Vault for scripts, rituals, and reflection tools. Listen to the Untamed Ember podcast wherever you get your podcasts, and join The Ember Vault for weekly deep-dive worksheets at untamedember.com.
Chapters
- (00:00:00) - The Secret to Intimate Sex With a Ghost
- (00:02:10) - This Is What Really Happens During Sex When Your Partner Dissoci
- (00:07:37) - How To Help Your Partner When They're Dissociated
- (00:10:34) - What to Do When Your Partner's Sexual Body Is Distracted
- (00:16:58) - How to Support a Partner Who Dissociates During Sex
- (00:20:21) - How to Support a Trauma Survivor During Sex
- (00:22:21) - How to Love Your Partner's Sexual Dissociation
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