April 21, 2024 • 31 mins
Night of the Zandies
Ever woken up to find the world not quite as terrifying as you left it? Dracula sure has, and his once-menacing castle is now just another stop on the village children's Halloween candy route. Thisd Halloween special will have you in stitches as we share the side-splitting tale of a Dracula who discovers his reign of terror has been reduced to a mere party trick. Don't miss the monstrous fun, as we bring you a Halloween episode brimming with charm, chaos, and a vampire desperately trying to reclaim his title as the night's biggest fright.
Curse of the Wereturkey
Gather 'round for a monstrous turkey tale with a side of supernatural snafus. When Dracula's plans go awry and he accidentally creates a were-whiteboard (you heard that right), the hilarity only continues to escalates as Dracula attempts to destroy the harvest festival. Don't miss any of the action.........and whats with werepup in the background???
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom there was a
small, peaceful village wherethe hero of our tale lived.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I don't want to be a hero.
What I have?
Something else in mind.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't get to be a bardagain.
I'm still in therapy fromsession 5 with that dragon.
Hey, I rolled a 20.
I know, and I'll never forgiveyou for that.
Fine, fine.
What do you want to be, dracula, dracula.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
There goes 20 hours of prep work.
I hate you so much right now.
Alright, roll dice.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Ah ah ah.
Thank you for watching 1v1 meDM.
Hope you enjoy our Halloweenspecial from last year.
Be sure to follow for monthlynew episodes.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Ah, ah ah old friend awakens just in time for the
(01:14):
local village's celebration ofHalloween.
On a hilltop on the outskirtsof the village stands an old,
eerie castle, a coffin creaksopen and a pale figure arises
Igor, right behind you, master.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Ah, don't scare me like that.
You'll scare me half to death.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
As you wish, master, did you have a pleasant bat nap?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Ah, Master, Did you have a pleasant bad nap?
Ah, yes, I dreamed the wholeworld bowed before me and the
Hellstein line was no more.
Ah, ah, ah.
How long was I asleep for Igor?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Not long Master, only 100 years.
And you woke up just in timefor your favorite holiday,
halloween.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Ah, Halloween, the anniversary of the first Dracula
becoming a vampire.
Tonight, we always remind thepeople why they should live in
fear of me.
Ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
About that, sir.
During your nap, the villagersbegan a new festival to
celebrate Halloween.
It's not quite how you remember.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
What, how dare they desecrate our most sacred
tradition, dracula?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
walks over to the window, looks out at the town
and notices something strange.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Why are they all dressed up as monsters?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yes, master, that is the new tradition.
The children dress up asmonsters and go around the
village asking for candy.
The castle is one of theirfavorite stops now.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Igor, have you been giving candy to the children at
the castle door while I slept?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yes, master, the whole village gives candy.
If we didn't, it would besuspicious.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Well, I suppose that makes sense.
Wait, how'd they get past thehellhounds guarding the door?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, the children love dogs and seem to have
confused the hellhounds.
For them they bring treats andtoys and have thoroughly tamed
them.
Traitors.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I will deal with them after I've reminded the town
why, hello, who is?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
that?
Ah, that would be the butcher'sdaughter, my lord Hmm.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Igor, grab my cloak.
I'm going to town to meet her.
Why, master?
To make her my vampire bride,of course.
Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Excellent idea, master.
I'm sure that will go well.
What cloak would you like totake?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Hmm, it's a very important decision.
I believe cloak number 13 willsuit me just fine.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Great choices, always Master.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I leave the castle and I head to town.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
As Dracula steps out of the castle, he forgets that
he can't step out into directsunlight and lights on fire.
Whoosh, hot birds.
From inside the castle.
A pot of water is thrown ontoDracula, extinguishing the
flames, and Igor steps out.
Your umbrella, master, thankyou.
(04:45):
Honeydale is a small, peacefulVictorian village in the middle
of nowhere, transylvania.
The town is bustling as themerry peasants prepare for their
beloved holiday of spookery andsugar.
The children, already incostumes, run to and fro trying
to find any shopkeepers willingto give them sweets before
(05:08):
nightfall.
The butcher's daughter standsoutside the shop, hanging
decorations on the outside ofthe shop and sneaking small
candies to the children as theycome by, much to her father's
annoyance.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I walk towards her.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Good afternoon.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
The daughter turns around to face you.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
A little old to be dressed up, aren't you?
And uh, your ear is smoking.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I reach up subtly and tap it out.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Ah, yes, it's part of the costume Candle wax, you see
?
Uh-uh, we haven't beenintroduced.
I am new to the area.
Pleased to meet you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Alright, I'm gonna need you to roll Charisma with
disadvantage.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Why I'm Dracula.
He's literally famous forCharisma and Seduction man.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yes, but you're standing in sunlight, your
clothes are wet and burned andyou smelled like burned garlic.
Fine Nine, and let's see withyour charisma.
Modifier of negative two.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I wanted more dicks.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
All right, well, that means you rolled a seven.
Yeah, she ain't feeling it,Chief.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
It's nice to see a new face.
We don't get many like you here, Mr.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Count.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Dracula.
She glances at the castle andthen looks back at you.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
I see, Unfortunately I don't have time for
make-believe.
I must get back to work.
Hanging the dirt curation fortonight.
Nice meeting you, Bracula.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She turns back to the shop but is interrupted by a
small child dressed up as awerewolf, which almost looks too
real.
She turns to the child andhands him a small bit of candy
before returning to work.
The child runs off, tailwagging.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I don't think she believes me, and I'm pretty sure
that's one of the werewolf pupsfrom the forest.
Stupid Halloween ruining myholiday.
Why, if this was the old way,she would not have treated me
this way.
I must stop this way.
I must stop this holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I return to the castle and go to the Bat Lab.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Wait a minute.
What happened to not doingBatman?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I'm Dracula, I'm the OG Batman.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Inside the we're not really calling this the Bat Lab,
are we?
Yes, we are.
Ugh, you don't pay me enoughfor this.
Inside the Bat Lab, dracula andIgor work diligently with
Wilson taking notes, takingnotes.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Ah ah ah.
I've done it, igor, mymasterpiece.
With this potion, I hold up theglass bottle.
I will destroy this falseHalloween and restore it to its
former glory.
The night shall once again befull of terror.
Ah ah ah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You've improved, master.
It only took you six hours tomake it and only three
explosions.
This time, igor turns to Wilsonand you are okay, my friend.
The word yes appears on theash-covered whiteboard.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Come, igor, the night is here and we have guests to
deliver candy to.
Ah, ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Halloween has arrived and the children sprinted to
their favorite stop on the nightof many years the old eerie
castle on the top of the hill.
Thanks to me, don't interruptme Now.
Where was I?
Ah yes, the old castle on topof the hill.
Much to their parents'hypocritical disapproval, the
(09:11):
children locked loudly on thedoor.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Trick or treat.
I opened the door and I greetedthe children holding a large
green bowl of candy that Ipoured the potion over.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Ah, hello, children, Happy Halloween.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
You're not Igor.
Yeah, where's Igor?
We want Igor, we want Igor.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Shut up.
Do you want your candy or not?
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Did Igor make it or not?
Did Igor make it?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yes, this is all Igor's homemade candy that you
all love.
So much.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
My character says through gritted teeth the
children accept this and allimmediately.
Okay, one second, one sec.
I need to look something upreal quick.
Uh, what is your alchemyproficiency?
Again, it's maxed.
How?
How did you just start thezombie apocalypse with candy
Science?
Suddenly, the children's eyesstarted glowing green Drool
(10:31):
flowed from their mouths andstarted to groan.
Candy, need candy, must eatcandy.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yes, Consume all the candy.
My minions Leave no houseuntouched.
Consume it all for me, Ah, ahah, okay, roll for initiative.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What Roll for initiative?
They aren't under my control.
Nope, congrats, you startedthis, now roll.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Ha 18,.
I win.
Dracula rushes inside thecastle and I use my action to
slam the door shut behind him.
And, as my bonus action, Ibrace it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Just as Dracula slams the bar into position, the door
is slammed hard enough thatDracula almost bounces off of it
.
How goes the perfect planMaster?
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Ah, igor, it all goes according to plan-.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Dracula is interrupted by the door,
exploding into splinters behindhim, throwing him forward in a
shower of wood to the ground.
I told you not to include thestrength enhancer.
Master the Zandes, really.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Hey, my potion, my name.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Ah, fair enough.
The Zandes rush into the castle, eyes shining in the dark and
drool splashing on the stonefloor.
Alright, I need you to give mea dex roll.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Pass.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I would recommend running master.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It was at this moment that he knew he f***ed up.
I turn and I run down the hallas fast as I can.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
All right, give me another Dex roll.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Oh s***, the Zandis catch up to Dracula and tackle
him.
So how's that extra Dex workingfor you?
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Bites me Hearing the challenge offered the Zandy
werepup beat Dracula on the rearend.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Ah, not you, oh children.
Igor holds up a large bowl ofcandy he made for the children
before Dracula woke up thisafternoon.
All the Zandys stopped andturned to him.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Igor's candy.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Fetch children.
Igor throws the bowl out thehole that once was a door and
the children race after it.
They're gone.
Master, you can get up off thefloor now.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
They're gone master, you can get up off the floor now
.
Ah, those kids are lucky.
I wasn't using my full strengthon them.
Another plan, perfectlyaccomplished.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
As you say, master, I'll go dry your bath now so you
can clean up.
Away from the castle.
In the village of Honeydale,the Zandis raked havoc on the
town for the rest of the night,eating all of the candy sweets
and downing bags of sugar as adwarf does ale.
Luckily, dracula's potion onlylasted until the next morning,
(14:00):
but the sugar that the childrenconsumed did not disappear with
the rising of the sun.
They stayed awake, continuingto wreak havoc for three days
straight, much to the horror oftheir parents and glee of their
grandparents.
Many wondered what had causedthe outbreak of the Zandis.
(14:22):
However, many of the villagerswhispered in the dead of night
behind closed doors that it wasthe best Halloween ever.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Ah, next year I shall have my revenge on those little
monsters.
I'm going to take my bat napnow.
Don't tell Igor.
My perfect plan failed.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He doesn't know that.
I already know that the planfailed.
Does he Not a clue?
In a nearby village,unbeknownst to Dracula and Igor,
a certain individual receives aletter that reads Dracula has
(15:17):
returned.
Thank you for watching.
Now what are you doing here?
It's the intermission.
Go get a snack and a drink.
Ugh, go use the bathroom aswell.
And this podcast is sponsoredby no one.
We're too small for a sponsorNow.
(15:39):
Curse of the Werdurkey.
The next episode starts now.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
The townsfolk of Honeydale prepare for their
annual harvest festival.
But up in the castle, evilmischief stirs.
Plan number 42.
I shall turn myself into a catand get adopted by the butcher's
daughter so I can learn all hersecrets.
Then I will use them to makeher fall in love with me.
What?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
do you think, wilson?
The words not your worst ideaappear on the whiteboard.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Ah, it's true, Wilson , most of my ideas are brilliant
.
Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
As Dracula says, this Igor enters the room holding
the tray your tea, sir.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
I take a sip Ah this is amazing, Igor.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
What new flavor is this?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Pumpkin spice, sir.
It is very popular with thelocals.
I also added some blood for you.
Fascinating.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I'm not quite familiar with this blood.
What is it?
Turkey, sir?
Tis the season, I suppose.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
You're thinking Christmas, sir.
This week is the HarvestFestival.
Christmas needs to wait itsturn.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Ah, the Harvest Festival, the time when all the
villagers celebrate what theyare thankful for with a big
feast that I'm never invited to.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Alright, I walk to the window to look out at the
town.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Igor, where are my binoculars?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I'm not sure, master.
I will look for them.
Here's your black glass in themeantime.
Really, bat glass.
It's a freakin' spyglass withbat wings taped to the side.
Bartender, another ale, andkeep them coming.
I look through the spyglassinto town dracula looks through
(17:29):
the glass, he sees the town ofhoneydale alive, with the
townsfolk setting up decorationsfor the festival.
A glint of light catches hiseyes and he sees the werepup
with his binoculars in his mouthnever mind ig Igor.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
I found them that daaah-.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Dracula stops suddenly as he notices the
werepup glaring back at him,almost as if he could sense
Dracula speaking ill of him.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Ah, that werepup scares me.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I look back again Give me a perception roll.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Alright, uh.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Uh 18.
On top of the townsfolkpreparing for the festival,
dracula notices the butcher'sdaughter exiting her father's
shop and beginning to walk downthe main street.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Hmm, I believe this is the perfect time to explore
the Harvest Festival and gathermore information on my future
bride-to-be.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Excellent idea, Master.
She will need to know you existbefore she falls in love with
you.
Don't forget your umbrella thistime.
We don't need you to becatching on fire again.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I take my umbrella and go to town to explore the
Harvest vessel and learn moreabout the Butcher's Daughter.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
As Dracula walks through the town he takes in the
sights and smells of thefestival preparations.
After a few minutes of walkinghe finally finds the Butcher's
Daughter.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I approach the Butcher's Daughter to greet her
Good afternoon milady.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Oh, hello again, Dracula, wasn't it?
Haven't seen you for some time.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
As the butcher's daughter says this a rugged
figure walks by cigar in mouthand immediately grabs her
attention.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Oh, hello Van.
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Good afternoon, ma'am .
I'm fine.
How are you, Valyee?
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I'm doing quite well, thank you.
I see you are getting ready togo on the annual harvest hunt.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yes, it's an exciting tradition and quite dangerous.
The wilds are full of creatures.
I promised to bring back thebiggest turkey for the town".
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Hope you get a big bird with your strong arms" she
says as she bats her eyes weapologize for this terrible
writing due to the writer'sstrike.
Now back to the show.
The butcher's daughter takesVaan by the arm and continues to
talk to him as they head to theedge of town.
Am I being ignored?
(20:09):
Would you like to make aperception check?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
No, I don't need to.
I know when a girl's ignoringme.
I have extensive experience inthis matter.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Ah, me too.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
All around me are familiar faces, worn out places
worn out faces.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Oi nerds, stop being depressing.
If I wanted that, I'd go talkto any of my exes.
Now back to the paler nerdfailing at romance.
You'd think after 600 yearshe'd be better at this, achoo.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Was someone talking about me?
Ah, they must have beenterrified by my return.
Ah, ah, ah.
So she wants a big bird, doesshe?
Very well, I shall give thehunters the last turkey they
shall ever see.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I turn into a bat and fly back to the castle, to the
bat lab.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Are you sure you want to do that?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Uh, it is the fastest mode of travel for me.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It would also set you on fire Again.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Oh right, sunlight Umbrella.
I need a bat-sized umbrella, abat-brella.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can I unalive him?
No, I need him for the content.
We can find another pale nerd.
They're not exactly in shortsupply.
No, bat dwarf, don't make meget the spray bottle.
You wouldn't dare try me.
Fine nerd, Back at the Batlab.
Ugh, I still hate that name.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Ah, ah, ah, I've done it, igor.
Another masterpiece, becausethe last one worked perfectly.
Master, exactly, it workedperfect.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Should we not test it first, master?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Yes, grab a turkey.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Sir, we only brought the one, turkey, from town.
Maybe we should test it onsomething else first.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Ah, yes.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Good point, igor.
I look around the lab slowly, IWilson with a creepy smile, I
take the syringe in hand andstab the whiteboard with it
Dirty 12.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Okay, um, what's the AC of a magic whiteboard again?
Oi, you nerds don't know this.
It's 2.
Wait, where does it say thatMonster Guide, 3rd Edition, page
34, by Mages of the Beach?
What we're not doing 3rdEdition, we're doing 5th.
Wait, why go 3rd to 5th?
(22:58):
That doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Because the 4th doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
That still doesn't make.
Hey, hey, the fourth doesn'texist.
If you three are done.
Dracula has already stabbedWilson and uh well, see for
yourself.
Wait what, oh sh**.
Wilson begins to rock back andforth violently.
(23:24):
Suddenly he begins to change.
Dracula and Igor watch in shockand awe, as before them, wilson
the white-bored has grown catears and a tail.
What I step back.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
See, igor, it worked perfectly.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Igor.
I turn to look at Igor.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Dracula sees the door to the Batlab slam shut.
In the sound of the doorlocking, igor Dracula slowly
turns to see Wilson, right nextto him.
On the whiteboard the word meowappears.
I don't think it worked, oh itworked perfectly.
(24:09):
Nice roll for initiative withdisadvantage due to the fact
that we want to maintain an earrating, we won't be able to show
or describe the events thattranspired, but I'm pleased to
announce that the battle appwill be out of commission for
(24:31):
quite some time.
After his fatal, he's alreadyundead.
True, after his sort of fatalencounter with the weatherboard,
dracula prepares for the turkeyhunt in his study.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Thank you, Nurse Lich .
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You're welcome, master, but you know, you can
just call me Liz.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Ah, now I've seen it all A were-whiteboard and now a
lich flirting with a vampire.
Buddy, you ain't seen nothingyet.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Should we tell him about the sword?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
No, no, no, no.
Let him enjoy his ignorantbliss.
Bartender, I need a mug of yourstrongest beverage.
You know what?
Bring me the entire keg, I'mgonna need it.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Igor, fetch my hunting clothes.
Master, do you want the tightsalso?
Of course, the outfit doesn'twork without them.
These are hard to get on.
You've got to be a man to weartights.
Igor, come, igor, it's time togo hunting.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Dracula and Igor leave the castle with a fat
turkey in tow.
They don't travel long beforethe werepup follows, by
curiosity or because he wants toeat a fat turkey.
The party arrives at the forestto hatch their evil plan on the
unsuspecting hunters.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
It is time, igor.
Today we ruin the festival hunt.
Give me the turkey.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
As you wish, master.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I take the syringe of werejuice and stab the turkey
in the neck with the needle.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
The turkey begins to grow.
Its legs stretch and largeclaws appear.
Its wings spread out and extend, with spikes at the end, and
where its beak once was, a largemouth with jagged teeth forms
(26:46):
Hearing the roar.
The hunter is seeing the turkeyscreaming terror in the way.
All but one, that is the lonehunter, van, stands firm,
drawing his crossbow.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Attack my minion.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Okay, I need you to make an animal handling roll.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Shouldn't I have advantage?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Did you have it with Wilson?
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Never mind, ah, I need new dice.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, you do.
The were-turkey turns aroundignoring the fleeing hunters in
fun and eyes Dracula with amurderous glare.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Igor, perhaps my perfect plan needed some work.
We should go, igor.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Dracula turns to see Igor Holy for being 2,000 years
old, he's very spry.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I didn't know he could move that fast either, and
that's the second time todayhe's left me.
Ah, I should be running too.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yes, you should.
Turkey charges you.
Give me a deck save withdisadvantage.
Ah s***.
The were-turkey knocks Draculaprone as it runs him over.
Dracula attempts to rise as thewere-turkey turns around to
charge again, but before he cana crossbow bolt strikes it hard
(28:16):
on the side and a shadowy figurejumps between Dracula and the
beast.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Die monster.
You shall not hurt this weakold man hey.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
I'm not that old.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
You're older than the Roman Empire, you knife-eared
albino.
Anyway, the turkey growls andcharges Vaan.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
That's right.
Come at me, you fiendish fowl.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
He fires another bolt at the charbishing beast, but
it only grazes it.
The wearer, turkey, continuesto charge.
Vaan rolls out of the way.
He fires another bolt at thecharbishing beast, but it only
grazes it.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
The were-a-turkey continues to charge, Vaan rolls
out of the way and Dracula isknocked down again.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Why didn't you protect me?
Why didn't you charge old man?
I don't like you, vaan.
I don't care.
I'm in the monster huntingbusiness.
I don't have time for nasties.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Before Van can say another word, the were-turkey
out of nowhere hits him in theside and sends him flying into
Dracula, knocking them both tothe ground.
Ah my spleen.
The were-turkey stands overDracula and Van growling.
Suddenly from the bushes behindhim, a large roar echoes
(29:31):
through the forest.
The were-turkey squeaks in fearand runs away From the bushes.
The were-pump jumps out andchases after the turkey.
Vaan gets up and chases afterthe both of them.
Hey, come back here.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I'm not done yet, you big gobbler.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
I hope the werepup eats him Stupid hat and all.
Now where did my shoes go?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
After searching long and hard, dracula was only able
to find one of his shoes.
He returned to the castlebattered and bruised to find
Igor waiting for him.
Welcome home, master.
You've returned just in timefor what happened to your left
shoe?
Master.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Ah, I don't want to talk about it.
And, igor, why did you leave me?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Apologies, master, I had a turkey in the oven for
supper.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I think I've had enough turkey to last a
millennia.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
As you wish, master, I will dispose of the turkey.
What happened after I left,master?
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Ah, the werepup chased away the turkey before it
could hurt me more.
Oh, you mean?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Dennis, master Dennis , yes, dennis, the werepup from
the pack in the forest.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Ah, he's quite the menace.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
The Harvest Festival began later that day.
The townsfolk gathered togetherto celebrate the new year of a
successful harvest.
They played music, sang songsand enjoyed the entertainment
and merriment.
Many of the hunters told thetale of the wild beasts in the
forest and how Vaan fought tosave them all.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Vaan never brought up the fact that he didn't save
them and that in fact, it was asmall wet pup from the forest
named Dennis hey.
Thanks for watching our firstepisode from our Halloween and
Thanksgiving animated specials.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
So 1v1, the DM will be releasing all of our previous
content on here and otherpodcast platforms every two
weeks.
New episodes will be uploadedas well once the podcast catches
up to where our YouTubeanimation channel is.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Hope y'all have a great week and see you next time
on 1v1 Me DM.
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom there was a
small, peaceful village wherethe hero of our tale lived.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I don't want to be a hero.
What I have?
Something else in mind.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't get to be a bardagain.
I'm still in therapy fromsession 5 with that dragon.
Hey, I rolled a 20.
I know, and I'll never forgiveyou for that.
Fine, fine.
What do you want to be, dracula, dracula.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
There goes 20 hours of prep work.
I hate you so much right now.
Alright, roll dice.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Ah ah ah.
Thank you for watching 1v1 meDM.
Hope you enjoy our Halloweenspecial from last year.
Be sure to follow for monthlynew episodes.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Ah, ah ah old friend awakens just in time for the
(01:14):
local village's celebration ofHalloween.
On a hilltop on the outskirtsof the village stands an old,
eerie castle, a coffin creaksopen and a pale figure arises
Igor, right behind you, master.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Ah, don't scare me like that.
You'll scare me half to death.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
As you wish, master, did you have a pleasant bat nap?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Ah, Master, Did you have a pleasant bad nap?
Ah, yes, I dreamed the wholeworld bowed before me and the
Hellstein line was no more.
Ah, ah, ah.
How long was I asleep for Igor?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Not long Master, only 100 years.
And you woke up just in timefor your favorite holiday,
halloween.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Ah, Halloween, the anniversary of the first Dracula
becoming a vampire.
Tonight, we always remind thepeople why they should live in
fear of me.
Ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
About that, sir.
During your nap, the villagersbegan a new festival to
celebrate Halloween.
It's not quite how you remember.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
What, how dare they desecrate our most sacred
tradition, dracula?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
walks over to the window, looks out at the town
and notices something strange.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
Why are they all dressed up as monsters?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yes, master, that is the new tradition.
The children dress up asmonsters and go around the
village asking for candy.
The castle is one of theirfavorite stops now.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Igor, have you been giving candy to the children at
the castle door while I slept?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yes, master, the whole village gives candy.
If we didn't, it would besuspicious.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Well, I suppose that makes sense.
Wait, how'd they get past thehellhounds guarding the door?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, the children love dogs and seem to have
confused the hellhounds.
For them they bring treats andtoys and have thoroughly tamed
them.
Traitors.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I will deal with them after I've reminded the town
why, hello, who is?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
that?
Ah, that would be the butcher'sdaughter, my lord Hmm.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Igor, grab my cloak.
I'm going to town to meet her.
Why, master?
To make her my vampire bride,of course.
Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Excellent idea, master.
I'm sure that will go well.
What cloak would you like totake?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Hmm, it's a very important decision.
I believe cloak number 13 willsuit me just fine.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Great choices, always Master.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I leave the castle and I head to town.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
As Dracula steps out of the castle, he forgets that
he can't step out into directsunlight and lights on fire.
Whoosh, hot birds.
From inside the castle.
A pot of water is thrown ontoDracula, extinguishing the
flames, and Igor steps out.
Your umbrella, master, thankyou.
(04:45):
Honeydale is a small, peacefulVictorian village in the middle
of nowhere, transylvania.
The town is bustling as themerry peasants prepare for their
beloved holiday of spookery andsugar.
The children, already incostumes, run to and fro trying
to find any shopkeepers willingto give them sweets before
(05:08):
nightfall.
The butcher's daughter standsoutside the shop, hanging
decorations on the outside ofthe shop and sneaking small
candies to the children as theycome by, much to her father's
annoyance.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I walk towards her.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Good afternoon.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
The daughter turns around to face you.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
A little old to be dressed up, aren't you?
And uh, your ear is smoking.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I reach up subtly and tap it out.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Ah, yes, it's part of the costume Candle wax, you see
?
Uh-uh, we haven't beenintroduced.
I am new to the area.
Pleased to meet you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Alright, I'm gonna need you to roll Charisma with
disadvantage.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Why I'm Dracula.
He's literally famous forCharisma and Seduction man.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yes, but you're standing in sunlight, your
clothes are wet and burned andyou smelled like burned garlic.
Fine Nine, and let's see withyour charisma.
Modifier of negative two.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I wanted more dicks.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
All right, well, that means you rolled a seven.
Yeah, she ain't feeling it,Chief.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
It's nice to see a new face.
We don't get many like you here, Mr.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Count.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Dracula.
She glances at the castle andthen looks back at you.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
I see, Unfortunately I don't have time for
make-believe.
I must get back to work.
Hanging the dirt curation fortonight.
Nice meeting you, Bracula.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She turns back to the shop but is interrupted by a
small child dressed up as awerewolf, which almost looks too
real.
She turns to the child andhands him a small bit of candy
before returning to work.
The child runs off, tailwagging.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I don't think she believes me, and I'm pretty sure
that's one of the werewolf pupsfrom the forest.
Stupid Halloween ruining myholiday.
Why, if this was the old way,she would not have treated me
this way.
I must stop this way.
I must stop this holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
I return to the castle and go to the Bat Lab.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Wait a minute.
What happened to not doingBatman?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I'm Dracula, I'm the OG Batman.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Inside the we're not really calling this the Bat Lab,
are we?
Yes, we are.
Ugh, you don't pay me enoughfor this.
Inside the Bat Lab, dracula andIgor work diligently with
Wilson taking notes, takingnotes.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Ah ah ah.
I've done it, igor, mymasterpiece.
With this potion, I hold up theglass bottle.
I will destroy this falseHalloween and restore it to its
former glory.
The night shall once again befull of terror.
Ah ah ah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You've improved, master.
It only took you six hours tomake it and only three
explosions.
This time, igor turns to Wilsonand you are okay, my friend.
The word yes appears on theash-covered whiteboard.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Come, igor, the night is here and we have guests to
deliver candy to.
Ah, ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Halloween has arrived and the children sprinted to
their favorite stop on the nightof many years the old eerie
castle on the top of the hill.
Thanks to me, don't interruptme Now.
Where was I?
Ah yes, the old castle on topof the hill.
Much to their parents'hypocritical disapproval, the
(09:11):
children locked loudly on thedoor.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Trick or treat.
I opened the door and I greetedthe children holding a large
green bowl of candy that Ipoured the potion over.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Ah, hello, children, Happy Halloween.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
You're not Igor.
Yeah, where's Igor?
We want Igor, we want Igor.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Shut up.
Do you want your candy or not?
Speaker 5 (09:39):
Did Igor make it or not?
Did Igor make it?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yes, this is all Igor's homemade candy that you
all love.
So much.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
My character says through gritted teeth the
children accept this and allimmediately.
Okay, one second, one sec.
I need to look something upreal quick.
Uh, what is your alchemyproficiency?
Again, it's maxed.
How?
How did you just start thezombie apocalypse with candy
Science?
Suddenly, the children's eyesstarted glowing green Drool
(10:31):
flowed from their mouths andstarted to groan.
Candy, need candy, must eatcandy.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yes, Consume all the candy.
My minions Leave no houseuntouched.
Consume it all for me, Ah, ahah, okay, roll for initiative.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
What Roll for initiative?
They aren't under my control.
Nope, congrats, you startedthis, now roll.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Ha 18,.
I win.
Dracula rushes inside thecastle and I use my action to
slam the door shut behind him.
And, as my bonus action, Ibrace it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Just as Dracula slams the bar into position, the door
is slammed hard enough thatDracula almost bounces off of it
.
How goes the perfect planMaster?
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Ah, igor, it all goes according to plan-.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Dracula is interrupted by the door,
exploding into splinters behindhim, throwing him forward in a
shower of wood to the ground.
I told you not to include thestrength enhancer.
Master the Zandes, really.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Hey, my potion, my name.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Ah, fair enough.
The Zandes rush into the castle, eyes shining in the dark and
drool splashing on the stonefloor.
Alright, I need you to give mea dex roll.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Pass.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I would recommend running master.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It was at this moment that he knew he f***ed up.
I turn and I run down the hallas fast as I can.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
All right, give me another Dex roll.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Oh s***, the Zandis catch up to Dracula and tackle
him.
So how's that extra Dex workingfor you?
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Bites me Hearing the challenge offered the Zandy
werepup beat Dracula on the rearend.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Ah, not you, oh children.
Igor holds up a large bowl ofcandy he made for the children
before Dracula woke up thisafternoon.
All the Zandys stopped andturned to him.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Igor's candy.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Fetch children.
Igor throws the bowl out thehole that once was a door and
the children race after it.
They're gone.
Master, you can get up off thefloor now.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
They're gone master, you can get up off the floor now
.
Ah, those kids are lucky.
I wasn't using my full strengthon them.
Another plan, perfectlyaccomplished.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
As you say, master, I'll go dry your bath now so you
can clean up.
Away from the castle.
In the village of Honeydale,the Zandis raked havoc on the
town for the rest of the night,eating all of the candy sweets
and downing bags of sugar as adwarf does ale.
Luckily, dracula's potion onlylasted until the next morning,
(14:00):
but the sugar that the childrenconsumed did not disappear with
the rising of the sun.
They stayed awake, continuingto wreak havoc for three days
straight, much to the horror oftheir parents and glee of their
grandparents.
Many wondered what had causedthe outbreak of the Zandis.
(14:22):
However, many of the villagerswhispered in the dead of night
behind closed doors that it wasthe best Halloween ever.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Ah, next year I shall have my revenge on those little
monsters.
I'm going to take my bat napnow.
Don't tell Igor.
My perfect plan failed.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He doesn't know that.
I already know that the planfailed.
Does he Not a clue?
In a nearby village,unbeknownst to Dracula and Igor,
a certain individual receives aletter that reads Dracula has
(15:17):
returned.
Thank you for watching.
Now what are you doing here?
It's the intermission.
Go get a snack and a drink.
Ugh, go use the bathroom aswell.
And this podcast is sponsoredby no one.
We're too small for a sponsorNow.
(15:39):
Curse of the Werdurkey.
The next episode starts now.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
The townsfolk of Honeydale prepare for their
annual harvest festival.
But up in the castle, evilmischief stirs.
Plan number 42.
I shall turn myself into a catand get adopted by the butcher's
daughter so I can learn all hersecrets.
Then I will use them to makeher fall in love with me.
What?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
do you think, wilson?
The words not your worst ideaappear on the whiteboard.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Ah, it's true, Wilson , most of my ideas are brilliant
.
Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
As Dracula says, this Igor enters the room holding
the tray your tea, sir.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
I take a sip Ah this is amazing, Igor.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
What new flavor is this?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Pumpkin spice, sir.
It is very popular with thelocals.
I also added some blood for you.
Fascinating.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I'm not quite familiar with this blood.
What is it?
Turkey, sir?
Tis the season, I suppose.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
You're thinking Christmas, sir.
This week is the HarvestFestival.
Christmas needs to wait itsturn.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Ah, the Harvest Festival, the time when all the
villagers celebrate what theyare thankful for with a big
feast that I'm never invited to.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Alright, I walk to the window to look out at the
town.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Igor, where are my binoculars?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I'm not sure, master.
I will look for them.
Here's your black glass in themeantime.
Really, bat glass.
It's a freakin' spyglass withbat wings taped to the side.
Bartender, another ale, andkeep them coming.
I look through the spyglassinto town dracula looks through
(17:29):
the glass, he sees the town ofhoneydale alive, with the
townsfolk setting up decorationsfor the festival.
A glint of light catches hiseyes and he sees the werepup
with his binoculars in his mouthnever mind ig Igor.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
I found them that daaah-.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Dracula stops suddenly as he notices the
werepup glaring back at him,almost as if he could sense
Dracula speaking ill of him.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Ah, that werepup scares me.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I look back again Give me a perception roll.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Alright, uh.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Uh 18.
On top of the townsfolkpreparing for the festival,
dracula notices the butcher'sdaughter exiting her father's
shop and beginning to walk downthe main street.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Hmm, I believe this is the perfect time to explore
the Harvest Festival and gathermore information on my future
bride-to-be.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Excellent idea, Master.
She will need to know you existbefore she falls in love with
you.
Don't forget your umbrella thistime.
We don't need you to becatching on fire again.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I take my umbrella and go to town to explore the
Harvest vessel and learn moreabout the Butcher's Daughter.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
As Dracula walks through the town he takes in the
sights and smells of thefestival preparations.
After a few minutes of walkinghe finally finds the Butcher's
Daughter.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I approach the Butcher's Daughter to greet her
Good afternoon milady.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Oh, hello again, Dracula, wasn't it?
Haven't seen you for some time.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
As the butcher's daughter says this a rugged
figure walks by cigar in mouthand immediately grabs her
attention.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Oh, hello Van.
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Good afternoon, ma'am .
I'm fine.
How are you, Valyee?
Speaker 5 (19:30):
I'm doing quite well, thank you.
I see you are getting ready togo on the annual harvest hunt.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yes, it's an exciting tradition and quite dangerous.
The wilds are full of creatures.
I promised to bring back thebiggest turkey for the town".
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Hope you get a big bird with your strong arms" she
says as she bats her eyes weapologize for this terrible
writing due to the writer'sstrike.
Now back to the show.
The butcher's daughter takesVaan by the arm and continues to
talk to him as they head to theedge of town.
Am I being ignored?
(20:09):
Would you like to make aperception check?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
No, I don't need to.
I know when a girl's ignoringme.
I have extensive experience inthis matter.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Ah, me too.
Speaker 5 (20:30):
All around me are familiar faces, worn out places
worn out faces.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Oi nerds, stop being depressing.
If I wanted that, I'd go talkto any of my exes.
Now back to the paler nerdfailing at romance.
You'd think after 600 yearshe'd be better at this, achoo.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Was someone talking about me?
Ah, they must have beenterrified by my return.
Ah, ah, ah.
So she wants a big bird, doesshe?
Very well, I shall give thehunters the last turkey they
shall ever see.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I turn into a bat and fly back to the castle, to the
bat lab.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Are you sure you want to do that?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Uh, it is the fastest mode of travel for me.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It would also set you on fire Again.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Oh right, sunlight Umbrella.
I need a bat-sized umbrella, abat-brella.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Can I unalive him?
No, I need him for the content.
We can find another pale nerd.
They're not exactly in shortsupply.
No, bat dwarf, don't make meget the spray bottle.
You wouldn't dare try me.
Fine nerd, Back at the Batlab.
Ugh, I still hate that name.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Ah, ah, ah, I've done it, igor.
Another masterpiece, becausethe last one worked perfectly.
Master, exactly, it workedperfect.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Should we not test it first, master?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Yes, grab a turkey.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Sir, we only brought the one, turkey, from town.
Maybe we should test it onsomething else first.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Ah, yes.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Good point, igor.
I look around the lab slowly, IWilson with a creepy smile, I
take the syringe in hand andstab the whiteboard with it
Dirty 12.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Okay, um, what's the AC of a magic whiteboard again?
Oi, you nerds don't know this.
It's 2.
Wait, where does it say thatMonster Guide, 3rd Edition, page
34, by Mages of the Beach?
What we're not doing 3rdEdition, we're doing 5th.
Wait, why go 3rd to 5th?
(22:58):
That doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Because the 4th doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
That still doesn't make.
Hey, hey, the fourth doesn'texist.
If you three are done.
Dracula has already stabbedWilson and uh well, see for
yourself.
Wait what, oh sh**.
Wilson begins to rock back andforth violently.
(23:24):
Suddenly he begins to change.
Dracula and Igor watch in shockand awe, as before them, wilson
the white-bored has grown catears and a tail.
What I step back.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
See, igor, it worked perfectly.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Igor.
I turn to look at Igor.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Dracula sees the door to the Batlab slam shut.
In the sound of the doorlocking, igor Dracula slowly
turns to see Wilson, right nextto him.
On the whiteboard the word meowappears.
I don't think it worked, oh itworked perfectly.
(24:09):
Nice roll for initiative withdisadvantage due to the fact
that we want to maintain an earrating, we won't be able to show
or describe the events thattranspired, but I'm pleased to
announce that the battle appwill be out of commission for
(24:31):
quite some time.
After his fatal, he's alreadyundead.
True, after his sort of fatalencounter with the weatherboard,
dracula prepares for the turkeyhunt in his study.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Thank you, Nurse Lich .
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You're welcome, master, but you know, you can
just call me Liz.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Ah, now I've seen it all A were-whiteboard and now a
lich flirting with a vampire.
Buddy, you ain't seen nothingyet.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Should we tell him about the sword?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
No, no, no, no.
Let him enjoy his ignorantbliss.
Bartender, I need a mug of yourstrongest beverage.
You know what?
Bring me the entire keg, I'mgonna need it.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Igor, fetch my hunting clothes.
Master, do you want the tightsalso?
Of course, the outfit doesn'twork without them.
These are hard to get on.
You've got to be a man to weartights.
Igor, come, igor, it's time togo hunting.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Dracula and Igor leave the castle with a fat
turkey in tow.
They don't travel long beforethe werepup follows, by
curiosity or because he wants toeat a fat turkey.
The party arrives at the forestto hatch their evil plan on the
unsuspecting hunters.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
It is time, igor.
Today we ruin the festival hunt.
Give me the turkey.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
As you wish, master.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I take the syringe of werejuice and stab the turkey
in the neck with the needle.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
The turkey begins to grow.
Its legs stretch and largeclaws appear.
Its wings spread out and extend, with spikes at the end, and
where its beak once was, a largemouth with jagged teeth forms
(26:46):
Hearing the roar.
The hunter is seeing the turkeyscreaming terror in the way.
All but one, that is the lonehunter, van, stands firm,
drawing his crossbow.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Attack my minion.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Okay, I need you to make an animal handling roll.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Shouldn't I have advantage?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Did you have it with Wilson?
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Never mind, ah, I need new dice.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, you do.
The were-turkey turns aroundignoring the fleeing hunters in
fun and eyes Dracula with amurderous glare.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Igor, perhaps my perfect plan needed some work.
We should go, igor.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Dracula turns to see Igor Holy for being 2,000 years
old, he's very spry.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I didn't know he could move that fast either, and
that's the second time todayhe's left me.
Ah, I should be running too.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yes, you should.
Turkey charges you.
Give me a deck save withdisadvantage.
Ah s***.
The were-turkey knocks Draculaprone as it runs him over.
Dracula attempts to rise as thewere-turkey turns around to
charge again, but before he cana crossbow bolt strikes it hard
(28:16):
on the side and a shadowy figurejumps between Dracula and the
beast.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Die monster.
You shall not hurt this weakold man hey.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
I'm not that old.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
You're older than the Roman Empire, you knife-eared
albino.
Anyway, the turkey growls andcharges Vaan.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
That's right.
Come at me, you fiendish fowl.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
He fires another bolt at the charbishing beast, but
it only grazes it.
The wearer, turkey, continuesto charge.
Vaan rolls out of the way.
He fires another bolt at thecharbishing beast, but it only
grazes it.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
The were-a-turkey continues to charge, Vaan rolls
out of the way and Dracula isknocked down again.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Why didn't you protect me?
Why didn't you charge old man?
I don't like you, vaan.
I don't care.
I'm in the monster huntingbusiness.
I don't have time for nasties.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Before Van can say another word, the were-turkey
out of nowhere hits him in theside and sends him flying into
Dracula, knocking them both tothe ground.
Ah my spleen.
The were-turkey stands overDracula and Van growling.
Suddenly from the bushes behindhim, a large roar echoes
(29:31):
through the forest.
The were-turkey squeaks in fearand runs away From the bushes.
The were-pump jumps out andchases after the turkey.
Vaan gets up and chases afterthe both of them.
Hey, come back here.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
I'm not done yet, you big gobbler.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
I hope the werepup eats him Stupid hat and all.
Now where did my shoes go?
Speaker 1 (30:06):
After searching long and hard, dracula was only able
to find one of his shoes.
He returned to the castlebattered and bruised to find
Igor waiting for him.
Welcome home, master.
You've returned just in timefor what happened to your left
shoe?
Master.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Ah, I don't want to talk about it.
And, igor, why did you leave me?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Apologies, master, I had a turkey in the oven for
supper.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I think I've had enough turkey to last a
millennia.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
As you wish, master, I will dispose of the turkey.
What happened after I left,master?
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Ah, the werepup chased away the turkey before it
could hurt me more.
Oh, you mean?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Dennis, master Dennis , yes, dennis, the werepup from
the pack in the forest.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Ah, he's quite the menace.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
The Harvest Festival began later that day.
The townsfolk gathered togetherto celebrate the new year of a
successful harvest.
They played music, sang songsand enjoyed the entertainment
and merriment.
Many of the hunters told thetale of the wild beasts in the
forest and how Vaan fought tosave them all.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Vaan never brought up the fact that he didn't save
them and that in fact, it was asmall wet pup from the forest
named Dennis hey.
Thanks for watching our firstepisode from our Halloween and
Thanksgiving animated specials.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
So 1v1, the DM will be releasing all of our previous
content on here and otherpodcast platforms every two
weeks.
New episodes will be uploadedas well once the podcast catches
up to where our YouTubeanimation channel is.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Hope y'all have a great week and see you next time
on 1v1 Me DM.
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