February 4, 2025 • 28 mins
The episode focuses on transforming the blame and victim mentality surrounding toxic relationships into a pathway of healing and empowerment.
I emphasize the importance of taking radical responsibility for one's healing, introducing my new Unbonded program designed to help listeners break free from past connections and enhance their emotional well-being.
• Discussing the cycle of blame after toxic relationships
• Introducing the Unbonded program for emotional release
• Understanding the importance of nervous system regulation
• Highlighting the necessity of taking radical responsibility
• Exploring the impact of unconscious & conscious rituals
• Providing insight into the law of reflections and personal growth
If you're ready to stop focusing on him and start focusing on you, if you're ready to get him out of your energy, your mind, your emotions, and you're ready to show yourself, your kids, what true healing looks like, then Unbonded is honestly like a no-brainer.
Other resources mentioned:
NEW OFFERING: The Ex Detox Concierge - White Glove Healing Services
Get ALL mini-programs & masterclasses for as long as you're inside my membership Unveiled (includes monthly 1:1 mini intuitive reads, as well).
Signature program: Clean BDE
Join Unveiled - The Membership here.
Book a 40 min read with me here.
Subscribe to The Sunday Source here (a free channeling).
Follow me on Instagram here: Angela Marie Christian
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Unveiled, the podcast.
I'm your host, angela Christian, and I help you with unveiling
your true self by peeling awaythe layers that society placed
on you.
I do this with a combination ofneuroscience, energetics and
ancient spiritual wisdom.
I went from underpaid andoverworked in corporate America
to launching a six-figurecompany that continues to grow.
(00:26):
I went from toxic relationshipsto being happy and single for
over a year as I worked andcontinue to work on becoming the
best version of myself, and somuch more.
My greatest passion is to helpwomen and mothers heal,
transform and become the highestversions of themselves.
Heal, transform and become thehighest versions of themselves.
(00:46):
As I continue to grow andexpand my intuitive knowledge
and unique wisdom, I'll beincluding you on my journey to
millions, so let's get into it.
Hello, welcome back to Unveiled.
This week, we're going to talkabout how to go from blame of
(01:08):
our past to freedom, how tofinally be done with your ex.
So, as some of you know if youfollow me on Instagram, I'm
launching a program calledUnbonded.
Essentially, it's a littlepiece of what I do, right?
So my signature offer, cleanBDE, is all about helping
mothers clear the toxic energywith their exes all of that
(01:31):
which I've had such amazing,beautiful results.
Unbonded is taking a piece ofit and dialing it in right, so
I'll talk a little bit aboutwhat that means.
However unbonded you can getright now for $111.
It will be delivered instantlyto your inbox on February 14th.
After that, the price will goup, okay, so today I am calling
(01:54):
out a pattern that I have beenseeing everywhere, one that I
was also stuck in myself forover a decade, if not longer,
and this is the cycle of blaming, labeling, shaming and
diagnosing our exes right,especially as narcissists.
I see a lot of coaches who youknow help women by encouraging
(02:20):
them to label them as anarcissist, and I get it.
First of all, I get it.
I was definitely put throughhell more than once by an ex,
but I'm going to explain at theend how you can shift that Okay.
So I see women that come out oftoxic relationships in three
different phases.
The first phase is survivalright, the survivor.
(02:41):
She literally left a toxicrelationship, which is huge, and
she literally is just like insurvival mode, still Right, and
then usually pretty quicklyafter that, she moves into like
the victim era is what I call itwhere that's where you see a
lot of the blaming, labeling,diagnosing, all of that really
focusing on him.
(03:03):
Then what I do is my clientscome to me towards the end of
that victim era, victimhood eraI don't even like to say victim
or victimhood, because, yes, youcould have been very much a
victim of abuse, just like I wastrying to think of a different
word to use there.
No, so then women come to me,typically at the end of their
(03:27):
you know, they're like okay,I've been blaming, I've been
diagnosing for months, years,like I'm just sick of it, it's
not working.
I've been going to therapy,I've been doing tapping, I did
this, I sage like all of thesethings, and I just want to be
done with his energy, withthinking about him, all of that.
Right, even if they don't wantto be with him, his name could
(03:48):
trigger them.
Like a lot of people come to meand that's the first thing they
say is like even that my ex'sname will trigger me, or seeing
his number pop up on my phoneand I get it, I've totally been
there, I've had that.
Um, that's why it's like Ireally understand.
And then I've come out on theother side of it, so like I'm
telling you, I've had three babydaddies, two of them very
(04:11):
abusive.
One of them went throughcustody hell with.
So I've been there, I've donejust about everything you could
imagine and I've come out theother side of it.
So now that's what I do forwomen, that's what I do for
mothers, right, it's definitelyone of my purposes here in this
lifetime.
So maybe you are still dealingwith the aftermath of a toxic
(04:34):
relationship, whether it'sco-parenting, whether it's a
court battle or just theemotional weight of what
happened.
Right, like, I just helped a newclient.
She was going to go face her exin court.
She was very nervous about it.
She found me and we only hadlike 10 days together and I
actually created this offer forher that I haven't even
(04:56):
announced to anybody yet, butit's called the X detox and it's
like a white glove servicewhere I do an intuitive read for
you to tell you where you'restuck.
I intuit about 10 audios thatwill help you shift and then we
have a couple of check-ins tomake sure you're on track and
all of that.
So I will link it in the shownotes If you're interested in
(05:17):
that.
It's basically like kind of acondensed version of clean BDE
with intuitive guidance and alittle bit more one-on-one, like
in clean BDE.
You will get check-ins with me,but I don't do like an
intuitive read for you, for, youknow, included in the service.
So anyway, getting back to this,I helped her successfully go
(05:38):
stand in court and be thereconfidently when this man had
beat her so badly.
He had been in prison forbeating her, so she was able to
show up.
She was so in her power thatafter court he was calling her,
apologizing, asking to take herto dinner, all of these things.
Her mom actually reached out tome and now I'm working with her
(05:59):
mom.
So I love that.
I love healing generationallions.
It's like my love language.
So, um, but I'm going to tellyou something.
You've probably if you followme on Instagram.
But I'm going to tell yousomething.
(06:32):
You've probably if you followme on Instagram, you might have
seen me say this already, butconstantly You've got a life to
live, you have kids to raise,you have a future to create.
You don't want to waste anothersecond of your energy on
someone who's no longer in yourlife, right?
So today I'm going to talkabout how we actually get him
out of your energy fully andcompletely.
A lot of us have moved onphysically, but emotionally,
(06:52):
mentally and energetically, wecan still be entangled.
Right the second I stoppedfocusing on my exes and started
focusing on me and shifting myenergy, my emotions.
Everything changed and that'swhy I am, like, so obsessed with
this work that I do for momsand women.
So and I want to be very clear,this isn't about excusing his
(07:14):
behavior, and I'm speaking assomeone who has survived
horrific physical abuse,emotional abuse, verbal abuse,
everything right.
So I know what it's like to bein survival mode.
I know what it's like to sit inthat blame era for years, sit
(07:34):
in that blame era for years.
I was there for over a decadethinking that if I just analyzed
him enough his childhood, hispatterns, if I just figured out
exactly what kind of narcissisthe was, why he did it, then I
could finally heal.
But that never happened,because blame doesn't set you
free, it just keeps you stuck.
Every time you say he's anarcissist, he ruined my life,
(07:54):
he manipulated me, you are stillfocusing on him, you are still
giving him the power and you arestill energetically tied to him
.
And that means if you are stillin this energy, you're still
emotionally triggered.
Guess what You're going toattract the same dynamics in a
different relationship, so let'snot make it about him anymore.
(08:17):
Okay, so here's how we createour own reality, and this can be
a little triggering, I know.
When I first heard it I get it.
Okay, so we are all living inour own Truman show.
I've said that many times.
If you're new here, maybe youhaven't heard me say that, but
every single one of us iswalking around with an energetic
field which is called ourcreator field, electromagnetic.
(08:41):
This field is made up of ourthoughts, our beliefs, our
programming and our actions.
Whether we realize it or notand most people don't realize
this we are literally handingout scripts for people to play
in our lives, just like on theTruman Show.
Okay, so our exes.
They literally auditioned andsigned up for the role to play
(09:04):
the villain.
Now, on a human level, I knowthat sucks right, but on a
higher soul level, they'reactually here to help us grow,
and I know that's a very hardpill to swallow, but when I
finally saw that my experiencesweren't just happening to me,
they were happening for me,everything shifted.
(09:24):
So, as an example, I was alwayshard on myself as a child.
I never felt like I was enough.
I would beat up on myself allthe time Don't eat, that You're
not working out enough.
Look at you, like, look at thatperson, always beating myself
up.
And guess what?
I kept attracting men whomirrored that exact energy.
(09:46):
Men who emotionally, verballyand even physically beat me down
because I didn't change thescript, I hadn't rewritten the
role that I was casting men in,and it's not just men, it's
anybody that comes into contactwith you.
So the second I decided to takeradical responsibility for my
(10:07):
life.
Everything started opening upand it's not easy.
Like my friend and I, we jokethat it's like almost a
full-time job to continuouslycheck in and be like as soon as
we catch ourselves saying like,oh, they did this to me.
Or oh, my God, can you believethis person did this?
Like we're like wait, where arewe doing that to ourselves.
(10:30):
Because it always comes back toeither one this is called the
law of reflections, which Imight've talked a little about
before.
I definitely talk about it inmy programs but either one if
you're like more in thebeginning stages, it's likely
something that you're doing tosomeone else.
So, for example, I still catchmyself doing this, but my mom
(10:52):
sometimes will talk to me aboutthings that I just don't really
care about or I don't want totalk about, like very low
frequency things, and I'll justlike dismiss her or kind of be
rude to her.
And this was like when I firststarted learning about the law
of reflections, and then someonethat I actually really look up
to.
She was short with me, she wasdismissive to me.
(11:15):
I immediately, though,connected the dots, and I was
like oh, and it's not karma.
Karma is actually not real.
It's a different conversation,or it will show up as the way
you're treating yourself, otherpeople will treat you, and so
this comes down to the eightareas of life which I've talked
about before.
They're in my programs.
If you are neglecting an areathinking like this is what I did
(11:38):
I'll just throw myself underthe bus for you guys.
I was like I'm too busy to workout, I just need to get my
business, like, up and running.
I need to do this.
I'm a single mom, I'm runningtwo companies, and by neglecting
my physical, the area in myphysical life, the area I cared
about most my business, orfinances, or family, like my
(11:58):
kids I would have obstacle afterobstacle in that area, because
that's how the universe tries toget your attention, Like, hey,
you're out of balance.
So it's really important Italked about this last month in
my membership, like how tobalance each area of life,
starting with just one every dayand then slowly getting to all
(12:21):
eight areas every day beingbalanced, because when you're
balanced in all eight areas oflife or close, the reflections
won't be as painful, so they'llnever go away, but they they can
get less painful, but they'reactually really helpful, even
though they're not fun.
Okay, so, getting back to this,the moment you take radical
(12:42):
responsibility for your healing,the game changes.
You stop focusing on him, youstop repeating the same patterns
, you take your on him, you stoprepeating the same patterns,
you take your power back.
And this is the best thing youcan do, not just for yourself
but for your kids, right,because they're watching and
they're learning how to handleemotions, relationships and
challenges by watching you.
(13:03):
So do you want to teach themthat when something goes wrong,
we just blame other people, welabel them, we hold on to
resentment?
That's going to create a lot,of, a lot more negativity in the
world, right?
Or do you want to teach themthat we heal, we grow and we
become stronger than ever.
So this is about you Now, it'snot about him, it's not about
the past, and it's time to clearhim out of your energy for good
(13:27):
.
And that's another thing I talkabout in unbonded.
In unbonded, what that lookslike is first I get you out of
fight or flight.
So there's two audios I thinkit's two or three audios just
nervous system regulation.
Then I do some unconsciousreprogramming to update your
(13:47):
unconscious mind that you're nolonger in the war zone with him
anymore.
Those two pieces I do for you.
Then the final piece is theenergetics.
And because this is an instantaccess program, it doesn't
include any of my coaching.
That would be separate.
What I will do is I'm going toteach you how to energetically,
and this isn't just like a.
(14:08):
I've done so many energeticcord cutting things before and
none of them ever worked.
So this is a very advancedenergetic cord cutting ceremony
that we will do to get hisenergy out of you.
Then I'm going to give you anenergy protection to keep him
out.
Or, if he does cord back in,you'll be able to, like,
disconnect him again Right,disconnect him again right.
(14:35):
Because I really want you tounderstand that once you start
shifting things in your life,everybody else will get a new
script to act in a different way, right, a way that you'll enjoy
more.
So there are a lot of ways todo that and I will teach a
little bit of that in unbonded.
Now, if you're familiar with mywork, I have four pillars.
I have nervous systemregulation, I have unconscious
(14:57):
reprogramming, I have emotionalmastery and I have energetics
unbonded because it's a like ataste test of clean BDE.
It doesn't have the emotionalmastery piece in it that would
be in Unbothered.
That's my emotional masteryprogram, which you can buy
separately or it's.
All of these are always in mymembership.
(15:18):
So if you want everything, justcome into my membership and you
get an intuitive read everymonth.
The price will definitely begoing up for my membership soon
because it does have thatone-on-one component and I do
have more people in there now.
However, whatever you lock inyour rate at, that's what you
will stay at.
So I have some people who joinin the very beginning at like
(15:40):
$39 a month and they will neverbe bumped up, so they'll always
be at that lower rate.
So I want to be clear.
I'm not knocking any coacheswho tell you to like label him
and like here's how you know ifhe's a narcissist.
Here are the red flags.
(16:00):
There's very much a time and aspace for that, because I do
think it's almost a necessarystepping stone to get to your
creator era, because there's apendulum that swings right and
pretty soon, if you're on oneside of that pendulum where
you're just in so much anger, somuch resentment, so much blame,
you're going to get sick of itand you're going to want to
(16:20):
swing to the other end, which islike radical responsibility,
right, and then it's like gameover, so you can literally
control anything.
So a couple more things I'lltouch on before I wrap up.
Here is so something that youwon't find in any other
relationship program or I wouldbe very shocked is what I'll be
(16:43):
doing in unbonded is explainingto you how we sometimes put
unconscious rituals on otherpeople.
They put them on us, and how todisconnect and clear those
rituals Because, for example, Iknow one of my exes has a lot of
negative feelings towards me.
When you have negative thoughtsgoing towards someone, for you
know, three months, six months,a year, that does affect that
(17:07):
person.
It's called an unconsciousritual.
It's the person my ex doesn'tknow that he's doing that, but
it will affect your life if youdon't know how to recognize the
symptoms of a ritual and thenclear it.
There are also intentionalrituals which I have to clear.
Quite often those are different, but that would be like it
(17:29):
could.
The ones I clear are not fromlike exes, they're more from
people who know what I'm doing,trying to stop me.
Just think of this there are asmany psychic shops as there are
Starbucks.
You could go into any town andsee all these psychic shops on
the corners, behind the curtains.
(17:49):
That's where intentionalrituals, conscious rituals, take
place.
That's where intentionalrituals, conscious rituals, take
place.
So someone goes in there andgets like a $5 psychic read Like
I've had an ex who always usedto go to these places and he
would get a read.
If they are, you know, let's saythey're even a gifted psychic.
Gifted meaning they can tapinto information, but might not
(18:12):
be trained.
Or they might be, they might betrained in dark arts, which
which a lot of psychics are.
So then if they see that you'rehurt, they could say, oh well,
I have this ritual.
Like do you?
Uh, they might not call it aritual, but I have this energy
work I could do that would makeher fall back in love with you.
Or or just give me, show me apicture of her, that's all they
(18:36):
need A picture of you, a pieceof your hair, which would be
super creepy if your ex went inthere with a piece of your hair
Some kind of way to tap intoyour energy and then he might
think it's just like some kindof crazy voodoo.
But voodoo is actually real.
So she could do it in severalways like she could.
(18:58):
There's a way where you can usemagnets and make two people be
so attracted to each other likethey don't even know what's
happening but they like have tobe together.
Then there's one that's likerepels people, where, if you're
trying, if you're like I just, Iknow I'm meant to be with this
person and they're with thisperson, and the psychic will say
, oh well, I could do this foryou.
(19:19):
I could make him leave her andbe with you, right?
So you do not want to bemessing with rituals of any kind
.
They will harm you.
It will also harm you if youhave rituals on you and you
don't know how to clear them.
So that is a big piece of whatI'm doing in Unbonded.
And a part of all of this is ifyou're in a coaching group,
(19:42):
let's say, or you're in a groupwhere it's like a bunch of women
and there's a coach and youguys are all complaining about
your exes and the coach isencouraging you, do you think
you're creating negative energy?
Or do you think you're creatingnegative energy or do you think
you're creating positive energy?
Right, let's look at a group ofpeople who are praying and
sending healing and light tosomeone.
(20:03):
Like that group would be verypowerfully creating positive
right.
Just like you can create.
Prayer is very powerful, justlike how powerful it is to get
together and pray for someone.
You can do damage by being in agroup and just sitting in that
negativity and like.
That is not good for you and itis not good for your creator
(20:24):
field.
You're going to keep calling inmore, more narcissists.
Right, when you uplevel yourenergy and you get rid of these
unconscious programs running inthe background that are also
making you a match for it, thenyou won't even be like on the
same energetic frequency asthese narcissists.
And let me back up for a secondand remind everyone that by
(20:47):
simply calling someone anarcissist, they're not
necessarily a narcissist toeverybody.
By simply calling someone anarcissist, they're not
necessarily a narcissist toeverybody, and this can even be
where most people see them as akind, giving person.
However, in your life, in yourenergy, they're filling that
role of narcissist for you, tohelp you learn and level up.
(21:09):
And then, in that same vein, Iused to do this Again, no
judgment, but I used to postabout my ex all the time on
Facebook, complaining about himor posting quotes that everybody
knew was about him.
Right again, I wouldn't changethat now.
I had to go through that to getto where I'm in now.
But here's the other thing isthat when you're putting how
(21:32):
you're feeling about him intowriting and other people know
you're talking about him, youare creating a conscious ritual.
This will come back to harm you.
If you've already done it, it'sokay, we can clear that up.
But this is exactly what like.
It's hard for me to even go onFacebook because it's a lot of
(21:52):
complaining.
It's a lot of complaining, it'sa lot of blaming, it's people
just airing out their dirtylaundry.
And something I talk about inthe emotional mastery program is
I rarely vent to anybody.
I will pull up my voice noteand vent to myself.
And then I get it and then I'mdone.
And then I immediately look inand say where am I doing this to
myself?
So, for example, I felt likesomeone wasn't respecting my
(22:15):
boundaries and I was gettingreally frustrated and annoyed.
And I did catch myselfcomplaining to a friend about it
.
And then I paused and I waslike this is a reflection,
everything is a reflection.
So where am I not respecting myown boundaries, right?
So I went through the eightareas of life.
Is it this area?
No, this area, no, this area.
(22:35):
Yep, then I shift that andguess what it resolves with the
person, because we are in ourown Truman show.
I promise you like, once youstart living like this, it is
wild.
So much can shift for youquickly.
But it does take radicalresponsibility and at first it
(22:56):
does feel like a lot of work.
But the very first thing youneed to do is reset your nervous
system, which is the very firstpart.
Then I reprogram yourunconscious mind and then you'll
have the energy to do this work, because a lot of the women
right now are still stuck infight or flight, right?
So they're like I don't want todo any more work, I'm busy and
(23:19):
I'm like exhausted.
So that's why I always haveit's usually the same set of
like two or three audios that Ihave in the beginning of almost
all of my programs the nervoussystem regulation audios,
because I want them to calmtheir system first.
I don't want to add anything tothem, right?
Like I had a woman reach out theother day who wanted to work
(23:40):
with me.
She couldn't afford my cleanBDE program.
But I do not like discount myprograms.
They've taken me a lot of timeand they're already underpriced.
Like my mentor is always likeyou need to raise your prices,
um, so what I do.
That's why I'm creating thesemany programs.
So if someone can't affordclean BDE, they can at least
(24:03):
come into one of these otherprograms, first to get regulated
, then that effect, then thatimproves all areas of your life.
Do you think you're going tomake more money being
dysregulated and fight or flightall the time, or do you think
you're going to make more moneybeing regulated?
If you're regulated, you'reable to see opportunities that
(24:23):
you wouldn't see if you were infight or flight, because my
favorite example when the bunnyis running through the woods
away from the fox, it's notseeing the opportunity of
carrots on the right to eat.
It's not seeing the opportunityof of lying in the sun and the
or lying in the grass and in thesun, and all of that.
It's just narrow, focused onsurvival, straight ahead, right.
(24:45):
So that's why it's so key toget your nervous system
regulated first.
So I did.
I had one relationship after myex and he was like the opposite
of my ex.
He was so nice, like on thetotal different spectrum.
So I know that I shifted what Ineeded to shift.
He still wasn't my person andwe definitely had mismatched
(25:07):
values in certain ways, but hewas like, not a narcissist at
all.
Okay, so it's 100% possible todo this.
It does take radicalresponsibility and and it's not
about like saying, oh, now Ifeel bad.
I've been in this group, like Italked to one of my clients who
I love and she's become afriend.
We talked about this likesometimes working with those
(25:31):
kinds of coaches who are, youknow, helping you label him,
diagnose him.
It is a stepping stone to getinto this next healing phase.
Not everybody will get thereright, but my client, my ideal
client, has had enough with thelabeling, the blaming.
It's not working and they wantsomething that will work.
(25:54):
Something more higher frequency, right.
So my work is higher frequency.
I'm not going to be a match for, like younger souls who aren't
ready to take radicalresponsibility that's not their
assignment in this lifetime.
So I hope that makes sense.
If this resonates with you andyou want to join, I will share
(26:17):
the link for unbonded in theshow notes.
And again, just quickly.
It's instant access programwill be delivered on February
14th.
It will cut the emotionalenergetic ties keeping you and
your acts like hooked.
It'll rewire your unconsciousmind so you stop attracting the
same toxic dynamics and it willregulate your nervous system so
(26:39):
your body isn't reacting to hisname, his face, his memory, that
kind of stuff.
So it's on presale right nowfor one 11.
After February 14th it's goingto go up to full price or you
can jump into my membership.
You'll get unbonded pluseverything else.
I do recommend, though, ifyou're considering my membership
(26:59):
, to come in for more than amonth, because otherwise you're
just not able to get through.
Like honestly, I've thoughtabout just making it only a
three month option or more,because people that come in for
a month they will see a shiftbut they're not getting
everything.
There's like over 65 audios inthere and some of it does
(27:19):
require you like the emotionalmastery piece from a couple
months ago.
It does require you to do alittle bit of work.
A lot of the beginning audiosand teachings do not require you
to do anything but listen, andthen you get the monthly
intuitive reads with me rightEvery month.
So if you're ready to stopfocusing on him and start
focusing on you, if you're readyto get him out of your energy,
(27:42):
your mind, your emotions, andyou're ready to show yourself,
your kids, what true healinglooks like, then unbonded is
honestly like a no-brainer.
Anyway, I hope this wasinteresting for you.
I hope to see you in unbondedis honestly like a no brainer.
Anyway, I hope this wasinteresting for you.
I hope to see you in unbondedor any of the other places.
If you ever have a questionlike here's what I'm dealing
with what do you recommend?
(28:03):
Definitely reach out and I'mhappy to point you in the right
direction because I want you tohave the best experience
possible.
So, sending you guys so muchlove, bye.
Best experience possible.
So sending you guys so muchlove, bye.
Thank you for listening toUnveiled.
I always love hearing yourtakeaways, so please connect
with me on Instagram that Angela, marie, christian and feel free
(28:27):
to tag me when you share itwith your friends.
Every single review matters andit helps me reach more people
who want to improve this world.
If you leave a review, let meknow and I'll send you a little
thank you gift.
Any resources mentioned in theshow will be linked in the show
notes.
Sending you all love.
Welcome to Unveiled, the podcast.
I'm your host, angela Christian, and I help you with unveiling
your true self by peeling awaythe layers that society placed
on you.
I do this with a combination ofneuroscience, energetics and
ancient spiritual wisdom.
I went from underpaid andoverworked in corporate America
to launching a six-figurecompany that continues to grow.
(00:26):
I went from toxic relationshipsto being happy and single for
over a year as I worked andcontinue to work on becoming the
best version of myself, and somuch more.
My greatest passion is to helpwomen and mothers heal,
transform and become the highestversions of themselves.
Heal, transform and become thehighest versions of themselves.
(00:46):
As I continue to grow andexpand my intuitive knowledge
and unique wisdom, I'll beincluding you on my journey to
millions, so let's get into it.
Hello, welcome back to Unveiled.
This week, we're going to talkabout how to go from blame of
(01:08):
our past to freedom, how tofinally be done with your ex.
So, as some of you know if youfollow me on Instagram, I'm
launching a program calledUnbonded.
Essentially, it's a littlepiece of what I do, right?
So my signature offer, cleanBDE, is all about helping
mothers clear the toxic energywith their exes all of that
(01:31):
which I've had such amazing,beautiful results.
Unbonded is taking a piece ofit and dialing it in right, so
I'll talk a little bit aboutwhat that means.
However unbonded you can getright now for $111.
It will be delivered instantlyto your inbox on February 14th.
After that, the price will goup, okay, so today I am calling
(01:54):
out a pattern that I have beenseeing everywhere, one that I
was also stuck in myself forover a decade, if not longer,
and this is the cycle of blaming, labeling, shaming and
diagnosing our exes right,especially as narcissists.
I see a lot of coaches who youknow help women by encouraging
(02:20):
them to label them as anarcissist, and I get it.
First of all, I get it.
I was definitely put throughhell more than once by an ex,
but I'm going to explain at theend how you can shift that Okay.
So I see women that come out oftoxic relationships in three
different phases.
The first phase is survivalright, the survivor.
(02:41):
She literally left a toxicrelationship, which is huge, and
she literally is just like insurvival mode, still Right, and
then usually pretty quicklyafter that, she moves into like
the victim era is what I call itwhere that's where you see a
lot of the blaming, labeling,diagnosing, all of that really
focusing on him.
(03:03):
Then what I do is my clientscome to me towards the end of
that victim era, victimhood eraI don't even like to say victim
or victimhood, because, yes, youcould have been very much a
victim of abuse, just like I wastrying to think of a different
word to use there.
No, so then women come to me,typically at the end of their
(03:27):
you know, they're like okay,I've been blaming, I've been
diagnosing for months, years,like I'm just sick of it, it's
not working.
I've been going to therapy,I've been doing tapping, I did
this, I sage like all of thesethings, and I just want to be
done with his energy, withthinking about him, all of that.
Right, even if they don't wantto be with him, his name could
(03:48):
trigger them.
Like a lot of people come to meand that's the first thing they
say is like even that my ex'sname will trigger me, or seeing
his number pop up on my phoneand I get it, I've totally been
there, I've had that.
Um, that's why it's like Ireally understand.
And then I've come out on theother side of it, so like I'm
telling you, I've had three babydaddies, two of them very
(04:11):
abusive.
One of them went throughcustody hell with.
So I've been there, I've donejust about everything you could
imagine and I've come out theother side of it.
So now that's what I do forwomen, that's what I do for
mothers, right, it's definitelyone of my purposes here in this
lifetime.
So maybe you are still dealingwith the aftermath of a toxic
(04:34):
relationship, whether it'sco-parenting, whether it's a
court battle or just theemotional weight of what
happened.
Right, like, I just helped a newclient.
She was going to go face her exin court.
She was very nervous about it.
She found me and we only hadlike 10 days together and I
actually created this offer forher that I haven't even
(04:56):
announced to anybody yet, butit's called the X detox and it's
like a white glove servicewhere I do an intuitive read for
you to tell you where you'restuck.
I intuit about 10 audios thatwill help you shift and then we
have a couple of check-ins tomake sure you're on track and
all of that.
So I will link it in the shownotes If you're interested in
(05:17):
that.
It's basically like kind of acondensed version of clean BDE
with intuitive guidance and alittle bit more one-on-one, like
in clean BDE.
You will get check-ins with me,but I don't do like an
intuitive read for you, for, youknow, included in the service.
So anyway, getting back to this,I helped her successfully go
(05:38):
stand in court and be thereconfidently when this man had
beat her so badly.
He had been in prison forbeating her, so she was able to
show up.
She was so in her power thatafter court he was calling her,
apologizing, asking to take herto dinner, all of these things.
Her mom actually reached out tome and now I'm working with her
(05:59):
mom.
So I love that.
I love healing generationallions.
It's like my love language.
So, um, but I'm going to tellyou something.
You've probably if you followme on Instagram.
But I'm going to tell yousomething.
(06:32):
You've probably if you followme on Instagram, you might have
seen me say this already, butconstantly You've got a life to
live, you have kids to raise,you have a future to create.
You don't want to waste anothersecond of your energy on
someone who's no longer in yourlife, right?
So today I'm going to talkabout how we actually get him
out of your energy fully andcompletely.
A lot of us have moved onphysically, but emotionally,
(06:52):
mentally and energetically, wecan still be entangled.
Right the second I stoppedfocusing on my exes and started
focusing on me and shifting myenergy, my emotions.
Everything changed and that'swhy I am, like, so obsessed with
this work that I do for momsand women.
So and I want to be very clear,this isn't about excusing his
(07:14):
behavior, and I'm speaking assomeone who has survived
horrific physical abuse,emotional abuse, verbal abuse,
everything right.
So I know what it's like to bein survival mode.
I know what it's like to sit inthat blame era for years, sit
(07:34):
in that blame era for years.
I was there for over a decadethinking that if I just analyzed
him enough his childhood, hispatterns, if I just figured out
exactly what kind of narcissisthe was, why he did it, then I
could finally heal.
But that never happened,because blame doesn't set you
free, it just keeps you stuck.
Every time you say he's anarcissist, he ruined my life,
(07:54):
he manipulated me, you are stillfocusing on him, you are still
giving him the power and you arestill energetically tied to him
.
And that means if you are stillin this energy, you're still
emotionally triggered.
Guess what You're going toattract the same dynamics in a
different relationship, so let'snot make it about him anymore.
(08:17):
Okay, so here's how we createour own reality, and this can be
a little triggering, I know.
When I first heard it I get it.
Okay, so we are all living inour own Truman show.
I've said that many times.
If you're new here, maybe youhaven't heard me say that, but
every single one of us iswalking around with an energetic
field which is called ourcreator field, electromagnetic.
(08:41):
This field is made up of ourthoughts, our beliefs, our
programming and our actions.
Whether we realize it or notand most people don't realize
this we are literally handingout scripts for people to play
in our lives, just like on theTruman Show.
Okay, so our exes.
They literally auditioned andsigned up for the role to play
(09:04):
the villain.
Now, on a human level, I knowthat sucks right, but on a
higher soul level, they'reactually here to help us grow,
and I know that's a very hardpill to swallow, but when I
finally saw that my experiencesweren't just happening to me,
they were happening for me,everything shifted.
(09:24):
So, as an example, I was alwayshard on myself as a child.
I never felt like I was enough.
I would beat up on myself allthe time Don't eat, that You're
not working out enough.
Look at you, like, look at thatperson, always beating myself
up.
And guess what?
I kept attracting men whomirrored that exact energy.
(09:46):
Men who emotionally, verballyand even physically beat me down
because I didn't change thescript, I hadn't rewritten the
role that I was casting men in,and it's not just men, it's
anybody that comes into contactwith you.
So the second I decided to takeradical responsibility for my
(10:07):
life.
Everything started opening upand it's not easy.
Like my friend and I, we jokethat it's like almost a
full-time job to continuouslycheck in and be like as soon as
we catch ourselves saying like,oh, they did this to me.
Or oh, my God, can you believethis person did this?
Like we're like wait, where arewe doing that to ourselves.
(10:30):
Because it always comes back toeither one this is called the
law of reflections, which Imight've talked a little about
before.
I definitely talk about it inmy programs but either one if
you're like more in thebeginning stages, it's likely
something that you're doing tosomeone else.
So, for example, I still catchmyself doing this, but my mom
(10:52):
sometimes will talk to me aboutthings that I just don't really
care about or I don't want totalk about, like very low
frequency things, and I'll justlike dismiss her or kind of be
rude to her.
And this was like when I firststarted learning about the law
of reflections, and then someonethat I actually really look up
to.
She was short with me, she wasdismissive to me.
(11:15):
I immediately, though,connected the dots, and I was
like oh, and it's not karma.
Karma is actually not real.
It's a different conversation,or it will show up as the way
you're treating yourself, otherpeople will treat you, and so
this comes down to the eightareas of life which I've talked
about before.
They're in my programs.
If you are neglecting an areathinking like this is what I did
(11:38):
I'll just throw myself underthe bus for you guys.
I was like I'm too busy to workout, I just need to get my
business, like, up and running.
I need to do this.
I'm a single mom, I'm runningtwo companies, and by neglecting
my physical, the area in myphysical life, the area I cared
about most my business, orfinances, or family, like my
(11:58):
kids I would have obstacle afterobstacle in that area, because
that's how the universe tries toget your attention, Like, hey,
you're out of balance.
So it's really important Italked about this last month in
my membership, like how tobalance each area of life,
starting with just one every dayand then slowly getting to all
(12:21):
eight areas every day beingbalanced, because when you're
balanced in all eight areas oflife or close, the reflections
won't be as painful, so they'llnever go away, but they they can
get less painful, but they'reactually really helpful, even
though they're not fun.
Okay, so, getting back to this,the moment you take radical
(12:42):
responsibility for your healing,the game changes.
You stop focusing on him, youstop repeating the same patterns
, you take your on him, you stoprepeating the same patterns,
you take your power back.
And this is the best thing youcan do, not just for yourself
but for your kids, right,because they're watching and
they're learning how to handleemotions, relationships and
challenges by watching you.
(13:03):
So do you want to teach themthat when something goes wrong,
we just blame other people, welabel them, we hold on to
resentment?
That's going to create a lot,of, a lot more negativity in the
world, right?
Or do you want to teach themthat we heal, we grow and we
become stronger than ever.
So this is about you Now, it'snot about him, it's not about
the past, and it's time to clearhim out of your energy for good
(13:27):
.
And that's another thing I talkabout in unbonded.
In unbonded, what that lookslike is first I get you out of
fight or flight.
So there's two audios I thinkit's two or three audios just
nervous system regulation.
Then I do some unconsciousreprogramming to update your
(13:47):
unconscious mind that you're nolonger in the war zone with him
anymore.
Those two pieces I do for you.
Then the final piece is theenergetics.
And because this is an instantaccess program, it doesn't
include any of my coaching.
That would be separate.
What I will do is I'm going toteach you how to energetically,
and this isn't just like a.
(14:08):
I've done so many energeticcord cutting things before and
none of them ever worked.
So this is a very advancedenergetic cord cutting ceremony
that we will do to get hisenergy out of you.
Then I'm going to give you anenergy protection to keep him
out.
Or, if he does cord back in,you'll be able to, like,
disconnect him again Right,disconnect him again right.
(14:35):
Because I really want you tounderstand that once you start
shifting things in your life,everybody else will get a new
script to act in a different way, right, a way that you'll enjoy
more.
So there are a lot of ways todo that and I will teach a
little bit of that in unbonded.
Now, if you're familiar with mywork, I have four pillars.
I have nervous systemregulation, I have unconscious
(14:57):
reprogramming, I have emotionalmastery and I have energetics
unbonded because it's a like ataste test of clean BDE.
It doesn't have the emotionalmastery piece in it that would
be in Unbothered.
That's my emotional masteryprogram, which you can buy
separately or it's.
All of these are always in mymembership.
(15:18):
So if you want everything, justcome into my membership and you
get an intuitive read everymonth.
The price will definitely begoing up for my membership soon
because it does have thatone-on-one component and I do
have more people in there now.
However, whatever you lock inyour rate at, that's what you
will stay at.
So I have some people who joinin the very beginning at like
(15:40):
$39 a month and they will neverbe bumped up, so they'll always
be at that lower rate.
So I want to be clear.
I'm not knocking any coacheswho tell you to like label him
and like here's how you know ifhe's a narcissist.
Here are the red flags.
(16:00):
There's very much a time and aspace for that, because I do
think it's almost a necessarystepping stone to get to your
creator era, because there's apendulum that swings right and
pretty soon, if you're on oneside of that pendulum where
you're just in so much anger, somuch resentment, so much blame,
you're going to get sick of itand you're going to want to
(16:20):
swing to the other end, which islike radical responsibility,
right, and then it's like gameover, so you can literally
control anything.
So a couple more things I'lltouch on before I wrap up.
Here is so something that youwon't find in any other
relationship program or I wouldbe very shocked is what I'll be
(16:43):
doing in unbonded is explainingto you how we sometimes put
unconscious rituals on otherpeople.
They put them on us, and how todisconnect and clear those
rituals Because, for example, Iknow one of my exes has a lot of
negative feelings towards me.
When you have negative thoughtsgoing towards someone, for you
know, three months, six months,a year, that does affect that
(17:07):
person.
It's called an unconsciousritual.
It's the person my ex doesn'tknow that he's doing that, but
it will affect your life if youdon't know how to recognize the
symptoms of a ritual and thenclear it.
There are also intentionalrituals which I have to clear.
Quite often those are different, but that would be like it
(17:29):
could.
The ones I clear are not fromlike exes, they're more from
people who know what I'm doing,trying to stop me.
Just think of this there are asmany psychic shops as there are
Starbucks.
You could go into any town andsee all these psychic shops on
the corners, behind the curtains.
(17:49):
That's where intentionalrituals, conscious rituals, take
place.
That's where intentionalrituals, conscious rituals, take
place.
So someone goes in there andgets like a $5 psychic read Like
I've had an ex who always usedto go to these places and he
would get a read.
If they are, you know, let's saythey're even a gifted psychic.
Gifted meaning they can tapinto information, but might not
(18:12):
be trained.
Or they might be, they might betrained in dark arts, which
which a lot of psychics are.
So then if they see that you'rehurt, they could say, oh well,
I have this ritual.
Like do you?
Uh, they might not call it aritual, but I have this energy
work I could do that would makeher fall back in love with you.
Or or just give me, show me apicture of her, that's all they
(18:36):
need A picture of you, a pieceof your hair, which would be
super creepy if your ex went inthere with a piece of your hair
Some kind of way to tap intoyour energy and then he might
think it's just like some kindof crazy voodoo.
But voodoo is actually real.
So she could do it in severalways like she could.
(18:58):
There's a way where you can usemagnets and make two people be
so attracted to each other likethey don't even know what's
happening but they like have tobe together.
Then there's one that's likerepels people, where, if you're
trying, if you're like I just, Iknow I'm meant to be with this
person and they're with thisperson, and the psychic will say
, oh well, I could do this foryou.
(19:19):
I could make him leave her andbe with you, right?
So you do not want to bemessing with rituals of any kind
.
They will harm you.
It will also harm you if youhave rituals on you and you
don't know how to clear them.
So that is a big piece of whatI'm doing in Unbonded.
And a part of all of this is ifyou're in a coaching group,
(19:42):
let's say, or you're in a groupwhere it's like a bunch of women
and there's a coach and youguys are all complaining about
your exes and the coach isencouraging you, do you think
you're creating negative energy?
Or do you think you're creatingnegative energy or do you think
you're creating positive energy?
Right, let's look at a group ofpeople who are praying and
sending healing and light tosomeone.
(20:03):
Like that group would be verypowerfully creating positive
right.
Just like you can create.
Prayer is very powerful, justlike how powerful it is to get
together and pray for someone.
You can do damage by being in agroup and just sitting in that
negativity and like.
That is not good for you and itis not good for your creator
(20:24):
field.
You're going to keep calling inmore, more narcissists.
Right, when you uplevel yourenergy and you get rid of these
unconscious programs running inthe background that are also
making you a match for it, thenyou won't even be like on the
same energetic frequency asthese narcissists.
And let me back up for a secondand remind everyone that by
(20:47):
simply calling someone anarcissist, they're not
necessarily a narcissist toeverybody.
By simply calling someone anarcissist, they're not
necessarily a narcissist toeverybody, and this can even be
where most people see them as akind, giving person.
However, in your life, in yourenergy, they're filling that
role of narcissist for you, tohelp you learn and level up.
(21:09):
And then, in that same vein, Iused to do this Again, no
judgment, but I used to postabout my ex all the time on
Facebook, complaining about himor posting quotes that everybody
knew was about him.
Right again, I wouldn't changethat now.
I had to go through that to getto where I'm in now.
But here's the other thing isthat when you're putting how
(21:32):
you're feeling about him intowriting and other people know
you're talking about him, youare creating a conscious ritual.
This will come back to harm you.
If you've already done it, it'sokay, we can clear that up.
But this is exactly what like.
It's hard for me to even go onFacebook because it's a lot of
(21:52):
complaining.
It's a lot of complaining, it'sa lot of blaming, it's people
just airing out their dirtylaundry.
And something I talk about inthe emotional mastery program is
I rarely vent to anybody.
I will pull up my voice noteand vent to myself.
And then I get it and then I'mdone.
And then I immediately look inand say where am I doing this to
myself?
So, for example, I felt likesomeone wasn't respecting my
(22:15):
boundaries and I was gettingreally frustrated and annoyed.
And I did catch myselfcomplaining to a friend about it
.
And then I paused and I waslike this is a reflection,
everything is a reflection.
So where am I not respecting myown boundaries, right?
So I went through the eightareas of life.
Is it this area?
No, this area, no, this area.
(22:35):
Yep, then I shift that andguess what it resolves with the
person, because we are in ourown Truman show.
I promise you like, once youstart living like this, it is
wild.
So much can shift for youquickly.
But it does take radicalresponsibility and at first it
(22:56):
does feel like a lot of work.
But the very first thing youneed to do is reset your nervous
system, which is the very firstpart.
Then I reprogram yourunconscious mind and then you'll
have the energy to do this work, because a lot of the women
right now are still stuck infight or flight, right?
So they're like I don't want todo any more work, I'm busy and
(23:19):
I'm like exhausted.
So that's why I always haveit's usually the same set of
like two or three audios that Ihave in the beginning of almost
all of my programs the nervoussystem regulation audios,
because I want them to calmtheir system first.
I don't want to add anything tothem, right?
Like I had a woman reach out theother day who wanted to work
(23:40):
with me.
She couldn't afford my cleanBDE program.
But I do not like discount myprograms.
They've taken me a lot of timeand they're already underpriced.
Like my mentor is always likeyou need to raise your prices,
um, so what I do.
That's why I'm creating thesemany programs.
So if someone can't affordclean BDE, they can at least
(24:03):
come into one of these otherprograms, first to get regulated
, then that effect, then thatimproves all areas of your life.
Do you think you're going tomake more money being
dysregulated and fight or flightall the time, or do you think
you're going to make more moneybeing regulated?
If you're regulated, you'reable to see opportunities that
(24:23):
you wouldn't see if you were infight or flight, because my
favorite example when the bunnyis running through the woods
away from the fox, it's notseeing the opportunity of
carrots on the right to eat.
It's not seeing the opportunityof of lying in the sun and the
or lying in the grass and in thesun, and all of that.
It's just narrow, focused onsurvival, straight ahead, right.
(24:45):
So that's why it's so key toget your nervous system
regulated first.
So I did.
I had one relationship after myex and he was like the opposite
of my ex.
He was so nice, like on thetotal different spectrum.
So I know that I shifted what Ineeded to shift.
He still wasn't my person andwe definitely had mismatched
(25:07):
values in certain ways, but hewas like, not a narcissist at
all.
Okay, so it's 100% possible todo this.
It does take radicalresponsibility and and it's not
about like saying, oh, now Ifeel bad.
I've been in this group, like Italked to one of my clients who
I love and she's become afriend.
We talked about this likesometimes working with those
(25:31):
kinds of coaches who are, youknow, helping you label him,
diagnose him.
It is a stepping stone to getinto this next healing phase.
Not everybody will get thereright, but my client, my ideal
client, has had enough with thelabeling, the blaming.
It's not working and they wantsomething that will work.
(25:54):
Something more higher frequency, right.
So my work is higher frequency.
I'm not going to be a match for, like younger souls who aren't
ready to take radicalresponsibility that's not their
assignment in this lifetime.
So I hope that makes sense.
If this resonates with you andyou want to join, I will share
(26:17):
the link for unbonded in theshow notes.
And again, just quickly.
It's instant access programwill be delivered on February
14th.
It will cut the emotionalenergetic ties keeping you and
your acts like hooked.
It'll rewire your unconsciousmind so you stop attracting the
same toxic dynamics and it willregulate your nervous system so
(26:39):
your body isn't reacting to hisname, his face, his memory, that
kind of stuff.
So it's on presale right nowfor one 11.
After February 14th it's goingto go up to full price or you
can jump into my membership.
You'll get unbonded pluseverything else.
I do recommend, though, ifyou're considering my membership
(26:59):
, to come in for more than amonth, because otherwise you're
just not able to get through.
Like honestly, I've thoughtabout just making it only a
three month option or more,because people that come in for
a month they will see a shiftbut they're not getting
everything.
There's like over 65 audios inthere and some of it does
(27:19):
require you like the emotionalmastery piece from a couple
months ago.
It does require you to do alittle bit of work.
A lot of the beginning audiosand teachings do not require you
to do anything but listen, andthen you get the monthly
intuitive reads with me rightEvery month.
So if you're ready to stopfocusing on him and start
focusing on you, if you're readyto get him out of your energy,
(27:42):
your mind, your emotions, andyou're ready to show yourself,
your kids, what true healinglooks like, then unbonded is
honestly like a no-brainer.
Anyway, I hope this wasinteresting for you.
I hope to see you in unbondedis honestly like a no brainer.
Anyway, I hope this wasinteresting for you.
I hope to see you in unbondedor any of the other places.
If you ever have a questionlike here's what I'm dealing
with what do you recommend?
(28:03):
Definitely reach out and I'mhappy to point you in the right
direction because I want you tohave the best experience
possible.
So, sending you guys so muchlove, bye.
Best experience possible.
So sending you guys so muchlove, bye.
Thank you for listening toUnveiled.
I always love hearing yourtakeaways, so please connect
with me on Instagram that Angela, marie, christian and feel free
(28:27):
to tag me when you share itwith your friends.
Every single review matters andit helps me reach more people
who want to improve this world.
If you leave a review, let meknow and I'll send you a little
thank you gift.
Any resources mentioned in theshow will be linked in the show
notes.
Sending you all love.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.