September 30, 2025 • 15 mins
In this episode of Unwritten, Trevor Barreca sits down with Alex Sanchez to explore how one hidden struggle, one unexpected inner voice, and one father’s startling confession transformed his life forever.
Whether you’ve carried shame, secret struggles, or a quiet sense of failure—or you’re simply curious about how God’s mercy still moves powerfully today—this conversation offers a vivid reminder of grace that heals at the deepest level.
What You’ll Hear:
How Alex spent years hiding feelings of failure, disappointment, and not belonging beneath a polished exterior.
The moment an unmistakable, pulsating inner voice urged him, “Tell your parents the truth”—and how that led to the unraveling of two years of hidden drug use.
His parents’ stunning response of mercy—including his father’s tearful words, “I failed you as a father”—and how that moment evaporated Alex’s lifelong insecurities and sparked his family’s transformation
Hit follow or subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome to Unwritten, a podcast dedicated to sharing stories,
the movement of the Holy Spirit in the world.
Today. I'm your host, Trevor Braca, and
on today's episode, we're getting to hear from Alex
Sanchez. Whether this is your first
episode or your 30th, which we like that end as well, I'd like
to invite you to subscribe to the show.
It helps us to continue to buildthe show and find more and more
(00:25):
engaging stories if you subscribe and leave a review or
rating wherever you find your podcasts.
Thank you so much. I was walking back to my car
today and my 2 year old son saw his reflection in the mirror and
did what he normally does when he sees himself which is start
busting up laughing his head off.
And he always has this instant reaction upon seeing himself to
just joy and laughter, which always makes our whole family
(00:48):
laugh too. And I used to be the kind of
guy, you know, look in the mirror, do finger guns.
But as I've gotten older, I can say there are days where looking
in the mirror isn't always so carefree.
And for many of us, the moment we're seeing ourselves makes us
come face to face with some deepseated beliefs we have about who
we are. In today's episode, Alex shares
with us the journey of his deep seated painful beliefs about
(01:11):
himself coming face to face withexistential shame and encounter
of intense mercy. Welcome to the show and
listening. So growing up, I was a really
happy kid. I love to play, I love to laugh,
I love to be outside. I love sports, love friends.
I think that's why it's a littlebit confusing to understand that
(01:33):
somewhere in the midst of all ofthat, underneath all of that,
the happiness. I carried some heavy things as a
kid. There are maybe 3 memories that
stick out the most to me when I think about that heaviness.
The first is I remember writing this letter maybe at the age of
10 or 11 years old that a parentteacher conference and I put in
(01:54):
my desk. My mom found it at the
conference. The note said something to the
effect of I'm sorry that I'm a failure, but I'm not going to
amount to much when I'm older and that you guys are probably
disappointed of me. And then I remember in middle
school having this sense, like, I didn't want to bring friends
over to my house. And there's a sense of that that
(02:16):
sounds pretty typical for kids these days, that they're maybe
embarrassed for their friends tomeet their parents.
But distinctly, I remember for me, it was the opposite.
I was embarrassed for my parentsto meet my friends, but it
wasn't because my friends were embarrassing, but because I had
this belief that what if? What if I bring over someone
who's more responsible, maybe someone who's a better listener,
(02:40):
someone who they who they who they like more?
I remember having this feeling like my parents only love me
because I'm their kid. They wouldn't like me otherwise.
They had this fear, this hesitation to bring other kids
over to the house. And the third memory was in
middle school. I remember calling some friends
from class on a Friday evening and saying, hey, do you guys
(03:02):
want to hang out? And one by one, they each said
that they were actually attending a birthday party of a
kid in our class. And after about the third call
and the third answer I remember,I started to think, what is
wrong with me? Why is every person in our class
invited to this and not me? And I look back on those
(03:24):
memories, this feeling of failure, disappointment, this
sense of not being as good as others in this, it's feeling of
not belonging, of being left outunderneath all the joy and the
happiness and the playfulness. And Fast forward to high school.
I so badly wanted to have a friend group that before I knew
(03:45):
it, I was kind of jeopardizing the the morals that I had grown
up with. Started cussing and sort of
drinking. I started smoking weed.
And slowly and surely, I did find a friend group and they did
the same thing. But I had this, this longing,
this desire to not just be on the fringe of a friend group,
but be at the core of my experience.
(04:07):
So much of the time they've been, I've been on the outskirts
of a friend group. But here was the daily group
that I was with, smoking most ofthe day during lunch after
school. And that was pretty much my
routine for two years of high school.
I'd smoke in the morning before school, we'd skip lunch
together, I'd smoke after the atthe end of the day, I would go
(04:28):
to work for a couple hours and then I would smoke with my
friends afterwards. And, and for me, maybe that felt
like enough. But at the same time, I remember
having this other group of friends that I so badly wanted
to hang out with, but it was that same sense of not feeling
good enough. And in fact, I remember this
distinct time where I had smokedand I was high and I got this
(04:51):
call. It's it was like that call, like
that I had so badly wanted in fifth grade.
I got this call from this friendgroup, like, hey, would you want
to come spend time with us? Do you want to come hang out?
And I remember thinking, too high, I'm going to embarrass
myself. I'm not good enough to be with
them. And I made an excuse that I
couldn't join when I hung up. So for the next two years, that
(05:18):
was my routine, smoking day in, day out.
But this was my senior year, going into what would be the
summer right before my freshman year of college.
At this point, my only dream, myonly ambition was really just to
live in an apartment by myself, to smoke as much weed as I could
and to party with friends. That was it.
(05:40):
That was all I was looking forward to.
But this strange thing happened at the end of June, the
beginning of July. I had this unmistakable feeling,
internal, like I've never had before.
I start having this strange, strange feeling from within this
one line that kept pulsating out.
And it was tell your parents thetruth.
(06:02):
Tell your parents the truth. Tell your parents the truth
because for two years I had justbeen smoking and hiding the
tracks and changing clothes and having small talk with them,
avoiding all conversation. And usually at the end of the
day when I had come home, hi, they would be watching TV and
I'd say a couple words, I'd go up to my room and be done with
(06:23):
it just to repeat it the next day.
But for two weeks last summer had this unmistakable urge to
tell them the truth. And then on July 8th, 2010,
night, just like any other, I came home.
They're ready to do my routine, but my parents turned off the TV
and they stood up and they askedme to sit on the couch.
It's kind of caught off guard and they asked me 3 questions.
(06:47):
In the first two questions I hadtwo lies that I offered, two
reasons that somewhat made sensefor where I was, what I was
doing, who I was with. On the third question, it was
like I completely unravelled andthat voice that had been telling
me tell the truth to your parents burst forth and I
(07:08):
completely unravelled and told them everything.
And I was in complete tears and at the same time releasing all
of these things in secret that have bound me.
As I'm doing that, as I'm crying, they're having tears
well up in their eyes. And as I'm experiencing this
release of heaviness and burden at the same time, every
(07:31):
insecurity that I had felt from my youth came up.
See, I am a failure. See, I knew I would disappoint.
See, I'm not like them. See, they would take another kid
if they could. Everything I had believed was
true felt like it. And then there was silence after
I got done talking. And the first words were my
(07:52):
mom's. She said we just want to help
you. And the second words were with
my dad speaking and he said it'snot you that failed us, but it's
me. I failed you as a father.
I just melted, Melted in love and in mercy.
And in that moment it took everything I had believed since
(08:16):
I had been young and it evaporated, spoke love and truth
into it. I knew in that moment I wanted
relationship, I wanted truth, I wanted honesty, I wanted love, I
wanted mercy. I didn't have the words at the
time on that couch, but I knew with every fiber of my being
this. This is what I have longed for.
This is what I was made for. This is what I want right here,
(08:39):
this closeness, this intimacy. The next few days were
difficult. My parents had had an unraveling
as well in their life by crumbling down to the
foundation. While they were very concerned
and worried about me, they didn't know how to help.
They didn't realize at the time how much they already had helped
(09:01):
by being a conduit of God's mercy in that moment.
The many sleepless nights fallen.
This is the part I didn't learn until later, but apparently one
of those next few nights, my mom, who has a unique
relationship with the Holy Spirit, God, seems to speak to
her in dreams from time to time.One of one of the sleepless
nights, she woke up just in the middle of the night, two or
(09:24):
three in the morning with this name coming to the forefront of
her mind. Mike boss, Mike boss.
And she wakes up, she shoots outof bed, she wakes up, she starts
tapping my dad on on the shoulder and she's like, who's
my boss? Who's my boss?
He's like, I don't know. I don't know.
I think you're just tired. Go back to sleep.
(09:45):
And she, she has a sense who is,who is this person?
And she looks him up. And sure enough, he's a drug and
alcohol counselor in Oklahoma City.
The next day, she calls. He actually runs an inpatient
addiction facility in Texas. So it's a couple days later.
This is actually July 11th, 2010.
(10:05):
It's my 18th birthday and here Iam, and my parents are deciding
whether they're going to send meto this three month
rehabilitation center. And I'm begging them.
I'm pleading them. There's this new, like newfound
sense of belief, like it's OK, it's going to be OK, I'm going
to be OK. Give me a chance.
And again in their mercy, again in God's mercy, it gave me a
(10:28):
chance and I went to counselling, not with my boss,
but his colleague that he referred.
And this man's name was Stephen Hardebeck.
And Stephen became the one of the very first people that God
began to put in my life again asa conduit of love and mercy.
And every couple of days I wouldgo twice a week, every couple
(10:50):
days I would bring despair and discouragement.
How can I change? How can I make up for what I've
done? And he would just speak truth,
the truth of Scripture, lovinglyto me.
I leave every week with hope. At the same time, my mom decided
to take off an extended leave from work two months to take me
to daily Mass every day. We prayed the rosary every day
(11:13):
and all of a sudden, without even knowing the Mass and the
rosary and prayer became foundations for my life.
There's miracles that started tohappen at 6:30 in the morning at
Saint John the Baptist and Edmund started to see a
seminarian receive the Eucharistfor the first time.
Kneeling. So drawn to it like what is
this? Have a known piece like this.
(11:35):
The next few months are not easy.
It's still a time of building trust, preparing the hurt that
I've caused. It's not easy.
And at the same time, because somany of my relationships were
entrenched with smoking and drinking, I had to to release
(11:55):
all of them, start fresh. And I go to college on a
rebuilding relationship with my parents.
No friendships. I remember the first couple of
weeks, the first couple of months of college, being in my
closet, like, OK, God, I am, I, I want this.
I'm all in. Like, I, I actually want to live
like this. But this deep place in my heart,
(12:16):
like I cannot do this without friends.
I can't live like this without friends.
It's too hard. And God in his mercy and in his
Providence puts me in the same class.
I have thousands of people with my now wife.
My freshman year of college I begin to meet her, she brings me
(12:38):
to the church in Norman. We begin to meet lifelong best
friends, find myself at the coreof a friend group.
I find myself with a place to belong.
I find myself worthy of good company, no longer insecure,
just living in mercy and relationship.
And the years to come, I would continue to build trust and love
(12:59):
with my family. And in God's goodness, that
pivotal moment on July 8th, 2010also became the point of
conversion for my entire family.Everyone within my family looks
back at on that day, at that time as a turning point for
their life too. And as I stand here and as I
(13:21):
record this in my counselling office 15 years later, still
feel the mercy, the mercy that God has given me for me to
receive, He's also given me to give.
And lastly, maybe 10 years ago, I had a friend who explained or
open up this scripture verse to me of when Jesus heals the
(13:43):
paralytic man and he says, take up your mat and walk.
And scholars might tell you different things about the
significance of what that means.But she said when Jesus asked
this man to pick up his mat, he he tells the man lovingly take
with you this place that used tobind you.
Don't forget the mercy and healing that you have received.
(14:06):
Take it with you and walk. This day I'm reminded of my mat.
Thank you so much Alex for sharing your story with us
today. I can just hear the Lord's words
ringing the whole time you're speaking over and over in my
ears as you move me with this story.
(14:27):
I desire mercy, not sacrifice. 1moment of mercy.
One moment from Alex's parents changed the entire direction of
his life. Years of built up beliefs
shattered in this one moment andit began with the simplicity of
them not being distracted but being incredibly brave and
present to Him in a moment of weakness.
(14:49):
The people in your life and my life need our presence because
they need an encounter with God's love.
What's a context in your normal weekly routine that you
normally? Check out and.
Who could you be a little bit more present to in that moment?
I'd invite you to think on that this week, as well as sharing
this episode with someone you think maybe needs an encounter
(15:11):
and a reminder of God's intense and beautiful mercy for them.
Thanks so much and we hope to see you next week.
Welcome to Unwritten, a podcast dedicated to sharing stories,
the movement of the Holy Spirit in the world.
Today. I'm your host, Trevor Braca, and
on today's episode, we're getting to hear from Alex
Sanchez. Whether this is your first
episode or your 30th, which we like that end as well, I'd like
to invite you to subscribe to the show.
It helps us to continue to buildthe show and find more and more
(00:25):
engaging stories if you subscribe and leave a review or
rating wherever you find your podcasts.
Thank you so much. I was walking back to my car
today and my 2 year old son saw his reflection in the mirror and
did what he normally does when he sees himself which is start
busting up laughing his head off.
And he always has this instant reaction upon seeing himself to
just joy and laughter, which always makes our whole family
(00:48):
laugh too. And I used to be the kind of
guy, you know, look in the mirror, do finger guns.
But as I've gotten older, I can say there are days where looking
in the mirror isn't always so carefree.
And for many of us, the moment we're seeing ourselves makes us
come face to face with some deepseated beliefs we have about who
we are. In today's episode, Alex shares
with us the journey of his deep seated painful beliefs about
(01:11):
himself coming face to face withexistential shame and encounter
of intense mercy. Welcome to the show and
listening. So growing up, I was a really
happy kid. I love to play, I love to laugh,
I love to be outside. I love sports, love friends.
I think that's why it's a littlebit confusing to understand that
(01:33):
somewhere in the midst of all ofthat, underneath all of that,
the happiness. I carried some heavy things as a
kid. There are maybe 3 memories that
stick out the most to me when I think about that heaviness.
The first is I remember writing this letter maybe at the age of
10 or 11 years old that a parentteacher conference and I put in
(01:54):
my desk. My mom found it at the
conference. The note said something to the
effect of I'm sorry that I'm a failure, but I'm not going to
amount to much when I'm older and that you guys are probably
disappointed of me. And then I remember in middle
school having this sense, like, I didn't want to bring friends
over to my house. And there's a sense of that that
(02:16):
sounds pretty typical for kids these days, that they're maybe
embarrassed for their friends tomeet their parents.
But distinctly, I remember for me, it was the opposite.
I was embarrassed for my parentsto meet my friends, but it
wasn't because my friends were embarrassing, but because I had
this belief that what if? What if I bring over someone
who's more responsible, maybe someone who's a better listener,
(02:40):
someone who they who they who they like more?
I remember having this feeling like my parents only love me
because I'm their kid. They wouldn't like me otherwise.
They had this fear, this hesitation to bring other kids
over to the house. And the third memory was in
middle school. I remember calling some friends
from class on a Friday evening and saying, hey, do you guys
(03:02):
want to hang out? And one by one, they each said
that they were actually attending a birthday party of a
kid in our class. And after about the third call
and the third answer I remember,I started to think, what is
wrong with me? Why is every person in our class
invited to this and not me? And I look back on those
(03:24):
memories, this feeling of failure, disappointment, this
sense of not being as good as others in this, it's feeling of
not belonging, of being left outunderneath all the joy and the
happiness and the playfulness. And Fast forward to high school.
I so badly wanted to have a friend group that before I knew
(03:45):
it, I was kind of jeopardizing the the morals that I had grown
up with. Started cussing and sort of
drinking. I started smoking weed.
And slowly and surely, I did find a friend group and they did
the same thing. But I had this, this longing,
this desire to not just be on the fringe of a friend group,
but be at the core of my experience.
(04:07):
So much of the time they've been, I've been on the outskirts
of a friend group. But here was the daily group
that I was with, smoking most ofthe day during lunch after
school. And that was pretty much my
routine for two years of high school.
I'd smoke in the morning before school, we'd skip lunch
together, I'd smoke after the atthe end of the day, I would go
(04:28):
to work for a couple hours and then I would smoke with my
friends afterwards. And, and for me, maybe that felt
like enough. But at the same time, I remember
having this other group of friends that I so badly wanted
to hang out with, but it was that same sense of not feeling
good enough. And in fact, I remember this
distinct time where I had smokedand I was high and I got this
(04:51):
call. It's it was like that call, like
that I had so badly wanted in fifth grade.
I got this call from this friendgroup, like, hey, would you want
to come spend time with us? Do you want to come hang out?
And I remember thinking, too high, I'm going to embarrass
myself. I'm not good enough to be with
them. And I made an excuse that I
couldn't join when I hung up. So for the next two years, that
(05:18):
was my routine, smoking day in, day out.
But this was my senior year, going into what would be the
summer right before my freshman year of college.
At this point, my only dream, myonly ambition was really just to
live in an apartment by myself, to smoke as much weed as I could
and to party with friends. That was it.
(05:40):
That was all I was looking forward to.
But this strange thing happened at the end of June, the
beginning of July. I had this unmistakable feeling,
internal, like I've never had before.
I start having this strange, strange feeling from within this
one line that kept pulsating out.
And it was tell your parents thetruth.
(06:02):
Tell your parents the truth. Tell your parents the truth
because for two years I had justbeen smoking and hiding the
tracks and changing clothes and having small talk with them,
avoiding all conversation. And usually at the end of the
day when I had come home, hi, they would be watching TV and
I'd say a couple words, I'd go up to my room and be done with
(06:23):
it just to repeat it the next day.
But for two weeks last summer had this unmistakable urge to
tell them the truth. And then on July 8th, 2010,
night, just like any other, I came home.
They're ready to do my routine, but my parents turned off the TV
and they stood up and they askedme to sit on the couch.
It's kind of caught off guard and they asked me 3 questions.
(06:47):
In the first two questions I hadtwo lies that I offered, two
reasons that somewhat made sensefor where I was, what I was
doing, who I was with. On the third question, it was
like I completely unravelled andthat voice that had been telling
me tell the truth to your parents burst forth and I
(07:08):
completely unravelled and told them everything.
And I was in complete tears and at the same time releasing all
of these things in secret that have bound me.
As I'm doing that, as I'm crying, they're having tears
well up in their eyes. And as I'm experiencing this
release of heaviness and burden at the same time, every
(07:31):
insecurity that I had felt from my youth came up.
See, I am a failure. See, I knew I would disappoint.
See, I'm not like them. See, they would take another kid
if they could. Everything I had believed was
true felt like it. And then there was silence after
I got done talking. And the first words were my
(07:52):
mom's. She said we just want to help
you. And the second words were with
my dad speaking and he said it'snot you that failed us, but it's
me. I failed you as a father.
I just melted, Melted in love and in mercy.
And in that moment it took everything I had believed since
(08:16):
I had been young and it evaporated, spoke love and truth
into it. I knew in that moment I wanted
relationship, I wanted truth, I wanted honesty, I wanted love, I
wanted mercy. I didn't have the words at the
time on that couch, but I knew with every fiber of my being
this. This is what I have longed for.
This is what I was made for. This is what I want right here,
(08:39):
this closeness, this intimacy. The next few days were
difficult. My parents had had an unraveling
as well in their life by crumbling down to the
foundation. While they were very concerned
and worried about me, they didn't know how to help.
They didn't realize at the time how much they already had helped
(09:01):
by being a conduit of God's mercy in that moment.
The many sleepless nights fallen.
This is the part I didn't learn until later, but apparently one
of those next few nights, my mom, who has a unique
relationship with the Holy Spirit, God, seems to speak to
her in dreams from time to time.One of one of the sleepless
nights, she woke up just in the middle of the night, two or
(09:24):
three in the morning with this name coming to the forefront of
her mind. Mike boss, Mike boss.
And she wakes up, she shoots outof bed, she wakes up, she starts
tapping my dad on on the shoulder and she's like, who's
my boss? Who's my boss?
He's like, I don't know. I don't know.
I think you're just tired. Go back to sleep.
(09:45):
And she, she has a sense who is,who is this person?
And she looks him up. And sure enough, he's a drug and
alcohol counselor in Oklahoma City.
The next day, she calls. He actually runs an inpatient
addiction facility in Texas. So it's a couple days later.
This is actually July 11th, 2010.
(10:05):
It's my 18th birthday and here Iam, and my parents are deciding
whether they're going to send meto this three month
rehabilitation center. And I'm begging them.
I'm pleading them. There's this new, like newfound
sense of belief, like it's OK, it's going to be OK, I'm going
to be OK. Give me a chance.
And again in their mercy, again in God's mercy, it gave me a
(10:28):
chance and I went to counselling, not with my boss,
but his colleague that he referred.
And this man's name was Stephen Hardebeck.
And Stephen became the one of the very first people that God
began to put in my life again asa conduit of love and mercy.
And every couple of days I wouldgo twice a week, every couple
(10:50):
days I would bring despair and discouragement.
How can I change? How can I make up for what I've
done? And he would just speak truth,
the truth of Scripture, lovinglyto me.
I leave every week with hope. At the same time, my mom decided
to take off an extended leave from work two months to take me
to daily Mass every day. We prayed the rosary every day
(11:13):
and all of a sudden, without even knowing the Mass and the
rosary and prayer became foundations for my life.
There's miracles that started tohappen at 6:30 in the morning at
Saint John the Baptist and Edmund started to see a
seminarian receive the Eucharistfor the first time.
Kneeling. So drawn to it like what is
this? Have a known piece like this.
(11:35):
The next few months are not easy.
It's still a time of building trust, preparing the hurt that
I've caused. It's not easy.
And at the same time, because somany of my relationships were
entrenched with smoking and drinking, I had to to release
(11:55):
all of them, start fresh. And I go to college on a
rebuilding relationship with my parents.
No friendships. I remember the first couple of
weeks, the first couple of months of college, being in my
closet, like, OK, God, I am, I, I want this.
I'm all in. Like, I, I actually want to live
like this. But this deep place in my heart,
(12:16):
like I cannot do this without friends.
I can't live like this without friends.
It's too hard. And God in his mercy and in his
Providence puts me in the same class.
I have thousands of people with my now wife.
My freshman year of college I begin to meet her, she brings me
(12:38):
to the church in Norman. We begin to meet lifelong best
friends, find myself at the coreof a friend group.
I find myself with a place to belong.
I find myself worthy of good company, no longer insecure,
just living in mercy and relationship.
And the years to come, I would continue to build trust and love
(12:59):
with my family. And in God's goodness, that
pivotal moment on July 8th, 2010also became the point of
conversion for my entire family.Everyone within my family looks
back at on that day, at that time as a turning point for
their life too. And as I stand here and as I
(13:21):
record this in my counselling office 15 years later, still
feel the mercy, the mercy that God has given me for me to
receive, He's also given me to give.
And lastly, maybe 10 years ago, I had a friend who explained or
open up this scripture verse to me of when Jesus heals the
(13:43):
paralytic man and he says, take up your mat and walk.
And scholars might tell you different things about the
significance of what that means.But she said when Jesus asked
this man to pick up his mat, he he tells the man lovingly take
with you this place that used tobind you.
Don't forget the mercy and healing that you have received.
(14:06):
Take it with you and walk. This day I'm reminded of my mat.
Thank you so much Alex for sharing your story with us
today. I can just hear the Lord's words
ringing the whole time you're speaking over and over in my
ears as you move me with this story.
(14:27):
I desire mercy, not sacrifice. 1moment of mercy.
One moment from Alex's parents changed the entire direction of
his life. Years of built up beliefs
shattered in this one moment andit began with the simplicity of
them not being distracted but being incredibly brave and
present to Him in a moment of weakness.
(14:49):
The people in your life and my life need our presence because
they need an encounter with God's love.
What's a context in your normal weekly routine that you
normally? Check out and.
Who could you be a little bit more present to in that moment?
I'd invite you to think on that this week, as well as sharing
this episode with someone you think maybe needs an encounter
(15:11):
and a reminder of God's intense and beautiful mercy for them.
Thanks so much and we hope to see you next week.
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