Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Unwritten,
a podcast dedicated to sharing
stories of the movement of theHoly Spirit in the world.
Today I'm your host, trevorBurecka, and on today's episode
we're getting to hear from DanKrebsbach, who hails from the
great state of Wisconsin and hasserved as a missionary for the
better part of two decades.
I've been the missionary forthe better part of one decade
(00:29):
and there's one story I've heardrepeatedly over the years, and
it's the story of a concernedparent or grandparent who felt
that they gave their kideverything they needed and saw
that child walk away from thefaith.
And the great blessing I'vereceived is to have heard so
many stories of how God is atwork in those very children's
lives, calling them back to thefaith in both ordinary and
extraordinary means.
Dan's story involves bothordinary and extraordinary means
(00:51):
, simple invitations and aradical encounter with God's
mercy.
Welcome to the show and listenin.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I had the great
fortune of being raised by
parents that loved meunconditionally.
From the moment of conception,I knew that I was loved, and
part of the love that my parentsdesired to give me was faith in
Jesus Christ, and the onlyproblem with that was I had no
interest in it whatsoever.
(01:22):
With that was I had no interestin it whatsoever, and so, as I
was raised Catholic, I wentthrough all of the normal
formative elements CCD, thosetypes of things and I'd spend
most of my time arguing abouthaving to go.
I'd spend an hour and a half atdinner arguing about having to
go to a 30-minute class, andthat was basically for as long
(01:42):
as I can remember.
Second grade through highschool, I just wanted nothing to
do with the faith, because Iviewed God as somebody who is
giving me arbitrary rules, and Ialready had rules coming from
my parents, my school and thepolice, and I just didn't want
another body ruling over me.
And so, when I was in highschool, I made the explicit
(02:04):
decision to outright reject theexistence of God, and this was a
lazy form of atheism.
It wasn't some profound logicalsequencing that I went through.
It was just as simple as if Goddoes not exist.
Morality cannot exist.
And from that moment in highschool, through all of my
collegiate career, I lived as ifGod did not exist.
(02:27):
One time one of my friends, mysophomore year of college, was
walking down the street with meand she said Do you really not
believe that God exists?
And I said I'm my own God.
I make happen what I want tohappen.
And she was somewhat startledby that statement and to me it
was a daily mode of living.
I woke up and did what I wanted, how I wanted, and looked at my
(02:51):
future successes entirelydependent on my personal desires
, and I was very fortunate thatmany of the things that I wanted
to happen seemed to be aligning.
So my senior year of college, Ihad an internship in my field
of study.
I was moving towards aprofessional career that would
have made hundreds of thousandsor millions of dollars and all
(03:11):
things seemed to be very goodfor me.
But in the midst of that, mybest friend, eric, who I met my
freshman year of college, wouldinvite me every Sunday to go to
Mass with him.
And Eric and I did everythingtogether for all five years of
college.
We would go and work outtogether, we would eat dinner
together If we were doingsomething that was outside of
(03:32):
class.
Eric and I were with oneanother, and so it was never odd
to me that Eric continued toinvite me to join him.
I never took that personally.
I often offered excuses of myMadden franchise, my online
poker playing and anything thatincluded not joining him for
that one hour per week.
Finally, our senior year ofcollege.
(03:54):
We were living in Madison,wisconsin, for the first time in
30 years.
On Ash Wednesday of our senioryear of college, school was
canceled.
I remember it like it wasyesterday.
We got 13 inches of snow.
You had to hike throughanywhere you wanted to get to,
in shin to knee, deep height ofsnow, and Eric, at 4.30, said
(04:15):
hey, I'm going to mass at 5 pm,to the Ash Wednesday Mass.
Would you like to join me?
From 21 years of resisting anyinclination towards God, for
some reason unknown to me, Isaid yes, and so Eric and I were
walking to the church and I wasjust thinking to myself how
stupid it was that I was outsidein this cold weather with the
(04:37):
13 inches of snow, because theschool closed and there was
nothing that I had to do thatday.
And when we got there at fiveo'clock, the church was packed.
It was standing room only andon the far side of the church.
We went up and stood in thebalcony and as I was standing in
the balcony, right in the tipof my head, there's a point that
it comes to and I could feelthe presence of the Holy Spirit
(04:59):
slowly descending down upon me,into my mind, very slowly, from
the point of my head to mytemples, and, just like this,
god cut through all my BS, allthose lazy ways of rejecting him
, so that I could do whatever Iwanted to.
He broke through and it wentfrom my mind, knowing that he
(05:20):
existed and that if he existed,he created me, and if he created
me, he created me to know me.
If he created me to be existed,he created me, and if he
created me, he created me toknow me.
If he created me to be knownthat he created me to love me.
It went down and filled myheart with the deepest love that
I had ever experienced, fullyfeeling the presence of God
surrounding me and feeling himinteriorly.
And I started this storysharing that my parents have
(05:42):
loved me unconditionally andthis love that I was
experiencing in this momentsurpassed it by over a million.
It was incomparable.
And so the presence of the HolySpirit continues to go down
through my toes and I just feelthe deepest peace that I ever
experienced.
And in that moment I knew thatGod existed and that I had a
choice whether or not to followHim.
(06:04):
And so we walked home thatnight and we stopped and got
silver mine subs.
We got a tuna sub on AshWednesday.
We got home and I said Eric, Ithink that guy might be real.
And Eric was a little bitdumbfounded because I don't
think he anticipated anythingout of his invitation.
He said, yeah, he is real.
And so this began a progressionof encountering Christ over the
(06:28):
next year.
And the next night I got out ofmy class it was a night class
that was supposed to be threehours.
It got done 30 minutes into theclass and I sprinted down
Bascom Hill, which was full ofice from the snow the day before
, and I went to a large groupevent and at that large group
event they were teaching onprayer and the priest that was
giving the talk said well,prayer is just as simple as you
(06:50):
trying to say anything to God.
And then sitting in silence andlistening to him.
I thought, wow, I couldprobably do that.
I'd never prayed in my lifebefore.
And after that Eric wrote me inonce again to a retreat.
On this retreat, eric said hey,dan, when we go on this retreat
, please make sure that I go tothe Sacrament of Reconciliation,
(07:11):
because I haven't been in along time, I'm not living
exactly the way that I want togo.
And I said, oh, yeah, yeah,absolutely, eric, absolutely.
And so the retreat was six weekslater, kind of coinciding near
the end of Lent, and the day ofthe retreat Eric and I had just
broken out of the United Statesinto international work on Rock
(07:31):
Band it is a game that youplayed on the PlayStation and
our career was really taking off.
And he and I were in a debatewith one another as to whether
or not we should continue onthis pursuit of Christ, and
everything in both of ourinclination was to not go.
But God had another plan.
We said yes once again andmoved forward.
And on that retreat, the firstnight they offered the Sacrament
(07:52):
of Reconciliation, and the waythat they had that set up was
for you to be able to take acandle and then go to a random
priest, and there were five orsix priests here in confession.
Eric and I were kneeling next toone another on hardwood floor
during adoration, and I'd neverbeen to adoration before.
I had no idea what adorationwas.
I did not know that theteaching of the church was that
(08:14):
Jesus is present in theEucharist, so I just didn't know
what we were doing.
And all I knew how to pray atthat point in time as Eric was
right on my right and I was tohis left.
And all I knew how to pray atthat point in time as Eric was
right on my right and I was tohis left was praying that Eric
did not stand up to go toconfession, because if Eric went
to confession then I would goto confession, and that was the
last thing I wanted to do.
And so I prayed basically fortwo hours that Eric would just
(08:36):
stay there.
As time is dwindling by, ericstands up and he goes and gets
the candle and I think, oh no,please don't go.
And he's going.
I think to myself multipleswear words, to be honest.
I make the decision that I needto get up and go, and when I
try to stand up, it feels likenails have pierced my knees and
(08:58):
my feet to the wooden floor tokeep me from going to confession
.
That was probably just becauseit hurt a lot, but also I didn't
want to be rid of my sin.
I didn't want to go andencounter our Lord's mercy in
that way.
But through his grace, I stoodup and went and when I walked
into the confessional, god gaveme a perfect recollection of my
(09:18):
sin, of all of it.
I had not been to the Sacramentof Reconciliation since fourth
grade and that was the only timethat I had been.
So I walked in as a 21-year-oldsenior in college who had been
away from the faith for four tofive years, and he helped me
from the very first sin that Icommitted, when I stole a little
(09:38):
chocolate out of the candy jar,through everything else, and I
just unloaded all of it to thepriest for an hour and a else.
And I just unloaded all of itto the priest for an hour and a
half, and after the hour and ahalf he absolved me of my sin
and gave me a penance of fiveHail Marys.
He said do you think you canpray five Hail Marys?
I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, noproblem, I got this and I went
out to the adoration to pray thefive Hail Marys, and I didn't
(10:01):
know the prayer anymore.
I had learned it in secondgrade and I no longer knew the
prayer.
So I just ripped off a thousandHail Mary full of grace.
Hail Mary full of grace becauseit's the only thing that I
could remember.
And the next morning when Iwoke up it felt like I was
walking in heaven.
God had removed all of that sinin both a supernatural and
physical way.
I walked through and it feltlike I was walking through the
(10:23):
retreat center, fully engulfedin the presence of God.
That same moment that I had hadat Ash Wednesday interiorly now
felt like it went both throughmy interior and exterior and it
felt like electricity holding me, god's presence, the Holy
Spirit bringing me to new life.
I was very fortunate over thenext nine months that I was
(10:44):
surrounded with a community thatcould teach me the faith,
because I literally knew nothing.
I didn't know about theEucharist.
I didn't know how to say theHail Mary.
I couldn't have prayed the OurFather.
I didn't know anything at all.
I didn't know about the Pope.
I didn't know about priests,anything you can know about
being Catholic.
I had actively rejected to tryto not know for.
(11:09):
And so after that retreat I wentand met with the priest that
was there and said hey, I thinkthat God is real and I've lived
most of my life as if he's notand I'm really scared that I'm
going to lose him because mostof my habits are as if he could
not exist.
And I don't know at all.
(11:29):
I don't know the first thingabout being a Christian.
I don't know how to follow him,know at all, I don't know the
first thing about being aChristian.
I don't know how to follow him.
I don't know how to maintain,or the idea of a growing
relationship with him wascompletely foreign to me.
And Father Eric gave me theadvice that I have kept to this
day of these five things To praybefore our Lord in the Blessed
(11:49):
Sacrament, to go to Mass when Iwas able to, to pray the rosary,
to make a morning offeringevery day when I wake up to
thank God.
And to, in the evenings, do ashort examination of conscience.
And at 21, all the plans, allthe good that I had planned for
myself.
God changed those desires tofollow his will and shortly
(12:12):
after my encounter with Christ Iwas able to go to a workshop
with the Evangelical Catholicand they had then-Father Robert
Barron, now Bishop Barron,giving a speech and he said
oftentimes when people aresharing a testimony, they're
sharing a story.
They go to the depths.
This darkness, there were theseterrible things that were
(12:34):
happening, but God is infinitelyperfect and he is full of
goodness and love and he's madethe world good for you.
And that resonated so much forme, because everything that I
wanted, all the desires that Ihad, I was on track towards when
I was living as a lazy atheist.
Everything that I wanted interms of finances and career
(12:54):
prospects, everything was rightthere.
And then he has so farsurpassed those dreams and those
desires with a life in the last20 years that would have been
incomprehensible to me at 21.
He's given me the good fortuneof marrying a woman that has
only inspired me every day tofollow Christ more closely.
He's blessed us with sixchildren and sent us on mission
(13:20):
throughout the United States.
He's inspired my heart with theverse that the Son of man did
not come to be served, but toserve and lay his life down as a
ransom for many.
He has changed every desire andevery dream that I've had so
that I can live fully in thedivine will.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Thank you, Dan, for
sharing your story.
The surprising part of Dan'sstory to me is that it flips
this often used viewpoint ofChristian conversion on its head
.
I think it's typically the casethat people think conversion
comes from rock bottom moments,and it often does.
But there's another way, and away that strikes me in my memory
to come very similar to StIgnatius' repeated exhortation
(14:00):
from the scripture to St FrancisXavier prior to his conversion,
where he would say to him againand again what can a prophet of
man gain the whole world butlose his soul?
In Dan's case, in the story heshared today, the moment of his
conversion came in the middle ofhis otherwise successful life,
where even then, God's magneticattraction was felt in his human
(14:21):
heart, as it often is in ours,and God took the good things of
Dan's life and showed him thesurpassing richness of his love
beyond all things.
Thanks so much for listening.
We hope to see you next week.