April 15, 2025 • 19 mins
Laura Womack shares her powerful journey through postpartum depression following the birth of her second child. After struggling silently for two years while putting on a brave face for others, she found healing through an unexpected spiritual breakthrough that transformed her relationship with God and restored her joy.
Some highlights of our discussion:
• Experienced postpartum depression after her second child when circumstances were dramatically different from her first birth
• Forced to return to work just six weeks after giving birth when her husband lost his job
• Struggled with feelings of intense loneliness despite having a supportive husband and family
• Continued attending church and Bible studies but was "just going through the motions"
• Found healing through surrendering to God during a small group Bible study after nearly two years
• Learned valuable lessons about God's patience, love, and healing power through her experience
• Believes Christians should acknowledge mental health struggles and seek both spiritual and professional help
If you're struggling with postpartum depression or any mental health issue, don't wait to seek help. Reach out to God first, then find godly counselors and friends who can support your healing journey.
Click HERE for access to extra content through my Patreon Account.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Today I have with us fellow teacher and friend, laura
Womack.
Hi, she's been a teacher fornearly 30 years and my
co-teacher my ride or die at mynew school for this past year,
and I'm so happy you're here.
And today she's going to sharethis really incredible story,
one I haven't really had on theshow before.
So I'm just really glad thatyou're here.
And I'm so glad you're here andtoday she's going to share this
really incredible story, one Ihaven't really had on the show
before.
So I'm just really glad thatyou're here and I'm so glad to
have been working with you.
(00:28):
You're truly a gem.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for having me, andyou've been such a blessing to
me this year as well.
Yeah, so thank you for havingme here today.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So tell us about your story 2005.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I was 34 years old and I had just had my second
baby my son, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
And so what was going on?
Was there a complication withthe birth itself?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, actually his birth was very easy compared to
my older daughter, but no, Isuffered from postpartum
depression, came on kind ofquickly and without my even
realizing what was going on.
Yeah, so what made it different?
Well, my experience with mysecond baby was very different
than with my first.
There's four years differencein their age and when my first
daughter, when my daughter Ihave a daughter and a son and
(01:20):
when my daughter was born, mymother was very active.
As a matter of fact, I wentfrom the hospital to her house
because my husband was workingshift work and was working
nights, so they brought me totheir house.
My parents and she was veryactive in helping me.
She and I were very close inhelping me with my new baby
first baby and changing diapersand helping me with feedings and
(01:44):
getting sleep.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes, all the things all the things.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
And then she and my daughter had a very close
relationship.
They were just really tight.
It was just such the sweetestthing to watch.
With my second baby, my motherhad become ill and she was
pretty much bedridden, and soshe still loved on my son, but
it was in a very different way.
It was basically we would bringhim to her, lay him in the bed
(02:10):
with her and then they wouldplay that way.
She was not as for you know, abrief period of time, because it
would wear her out.
Yeah, so it was.
Just, it was really hard to gofrom having her be so active to
just not being able to be, andit's not even the help was
greatly appreciated, don't getme wrong, but just her not being
able to be active in his lifethe way she was in my daughter's
(02:34):
life.
And then, shortly after thebirth of my son, my husband lost
his job.
We had planned for me to I'dalways wanted to beat-home mom
and that was never fully in thecards, but we had planned for me
to be off for a year after hewas born, my husband lost his
job.
They had layoffs at his companyand less than six weeks after
(02:58):
he was born I had to go back towork.
Terrible, it was devastating tome and I really think that's
when the combination of theillness with my mom and then the
loss of his job, just mixedwith the normal hormonal shifts,
that happened.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, I mean because I'm sure for like the whole year
, like of you being pregnant,you were looking forward to that
and planning for that.
Yes, and that's just a big,earth shattering thing to have
changed.
Yes, you know, yes, it'sstressful that he has to like
find new income, but it's alsolike you had this dream in your
head that I get to stay homewith my baby.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right, my last baby, my last baby.
We knew he was going to be mylast baby.
That was always in the plans.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
That's just a hard thing, yeah.
And then, like I guess and Isay this because I didn't really
fully understand or appreciatematernity, leave, you know,
until I had my own child,because I would hear about oh,
six weeks off and you're, you goback to work and at the time
before I had my child, that feltlike a decent amount of time,
(03:58):
Right?
No, it's really not.
It's really not.
Especially, that's a big, hugetraumatic thing to your own body
for one.
And then just to like yourwhole life thing to happen, for
you to go back to work inbasically a month and a half and
like everything's fine, right?
No, and that's just normal.
Quote unquote things yes.
(04:19):
But to have that have happenedto you.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, that's totally devastating and I did not get
the full six weeks.
Very thankful, I actually wentback to Claiborne Christian,
which is where you know we're atnow, and I was thankful that a
position was there.
I actually I'd called to be puton the sub list, yeah, and the
principal at the time was riggedand she said Well, I've had a
teacher, a pre K teacher, quit.
(04:42):
Do you want her job?
It was the day I called, oh wow.
So I was very thankful thatimmediately I had a source of
income, but yeah, to not be ableto have that time with my son.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
it was devastating, and then, too, I think it would
probably be hard to work withother small children when you
want to be with your smallchildren.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Or you want to be with your small children right,
or your one baby, my baby.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yes, it's kind of hard, yeah just emotionally
right.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's a lot for sure it was, it was, it was hard,
yeah well, what kind of thingswere you dealing or thinking
about during that time?
Like how did you know that?
Oh, this is not, you know,because we all get sad.
Or like have a day where youfeel depressed, but feeling
depressed one or two times a dayis not the same as like this is
chronic depression orpostpartum depression.
(05:30):
Like how did you know this isbecoming a thing?
And you were struggling.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I really I could not get happy and that was I felt
very lonely.
More than anything else, I justremember feeling lonely and me
being a fixer.
Yeah, it was hard for me toreach out.
I didn't reach out and that wasa huge part of the problem, but
I just found myself not gettinghappy.
I can remember looking at myson and one vivid and I hope I
(05:59):
don't get emotional here Lookingat him and saying I was happy
before you were born.
I didn't say it out loud I washappy before you were born.
Now, I never wanted to hurt mychild.
Thankfully, yes, but I canalmost understand how you could
get to that point, becauseyou're not in a right state of
mind, but I do remember and ofcourse, immediately it's like oh
, I'm so sorry.
(06:19):
I ever thought that you're themost precious, one of the most
precious things that's everhappened to me, that you're the
most precious, one of the mostprecious things that's ever
happened to me.
So then I felt guilt on top ofthe other.
But yeah, I just lonely.
And my husband, I mean he's, hewas never ugly to me.
As a matter of fact, I askedhim the other day what his
thoughts were.
He said I don't really remember.
I was like, so I guess it didimpact him a whole lot.
(06:41):
Well, it's been some time nowit has.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I guess it did impact him a whole lot.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well it's been some time now it has.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, my son is 19.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, so it's been a minute and you know it has.
And not to discredit, him, hewas always there for me.
I mean, he just you could seethe look on his face sometimes
of like I want you to be happy,but I don't know what to do.
Yeah, he's always been the typeto.
(07:07):
I mean, he spoils me and mychildren, my children in
particular, probably too much.
They don't they don't have todo a whole lot sometimes, and I
think we probably ought to makethem do some more stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
But anyway, Sorry guys, yeah sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, I just rememberfeeling lonely and, like I say,
I've never been the type toreach out for help like I should
.
Yeah, because I just want to.
I don't want to A inconveniencepeople.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And B.
I just Is there a little bit ofa pride issue, yeah, and I just
want to deal with it myself andthat's not always the answer.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And to use your words , how long did you quote,
unquote, deal with it?
Yeah, about two years.
Yeah, that's a long time.
Too long Just waiting that youknow.
Too long, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
But I was able to kind of hide it to where a lot
of people I don't think evenrealized, and so I went about my
daily business and did my joband you know, I was again
thankful to have it, but it wasnot always the some of the
people I worked with were notthe most positive people.
Yeah, as opposed to now so, andso I just went through the
(08:09):
motions and put on a happy faceand yeah yeah, were you still?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I know you've been a churchgoer your whole life.
Did that affect, like yourchurch attendance, or are you
still just pasting it on forthat too?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
No, we stayed active in church, especially having two
little ones.
And my daughter was four, yeah,and so she was getting to an
age to where she was reallygetting active, and you know,
and so we kept.
Now it was for me it was moregoing through the motions than
anything, and you know, and sowe kept.
Now, it was for me it was moregoing through the motions than
anything.
But I knew I had to do that.
I needed to set a positiveexample for my children and try
(08:42):
to be, you know, good wife to myhusband who's trying to lead us
.
Yeah, so I kept going to church, but it was really going
through the motions.
You know worship, I would singthe songs, but it was just like
singing to the radio.
Participate in the Biblestudies we, you know, have small
group Bible studies and we, youknow, went and participated,
but again, more going throughthe motions than anything.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, and sometimes it's like that with life, you
know, with any.
You know, if it's not this,it's something else Right, right
, right.
For you, though.
When was there a time of changeLike?
When did things start to likemove forward for you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I knew that I, of course, having two small
children, I had to do something,because I couldn't continue to
lead them in this way.
Eventually things would come tothe surface.
And of course, my husband, hejust he needed better than what
I was giving, you know, such adedicated to our marriage and.
(09:37):
But I had decided to do a smallgroup Bible study, just a small
group of ladies that we wereall kind of in the same place in
life, maybe five or six ladiesthat we just decided to meet.
I think it was not part of ourregular small group Bible study
was on.
So there's like additional,additional yes, and I said, ok,
well, I'm going to participatein this.
Now I don't remember the nameof the Bible study, I don't
(09:57):
remember the name of the ladythat wrote the Bible study.
I don't remember what we werestudying, the topic or anything.
But God put me in that for apurpose.
He was getting ready to say OK,enough is homework.
That's involved in a Biblestudy.
Sometimes, again, I don'tremember what I was studying, I
(10:18):
just God pierced my heart and heliterally brought me to my
knees.
He said I'm here and again, trynot to get emotional.
But at that time I finallyrealized he's right here, I just
need to reach out.
And he was there.
God was there waiting for me.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Great how he does that like you weren't
necessarily like running to him,right, you know, just saying I
need your help, but he saw youout.
Yes, he did.
I've experienced that more thanonce in my life, where it's
like and where I'm living, doingwhatever I'm trying to do, and
it's where god's reaching downto me and pursuing me, and every
(10:55):
time it happens I always feelso loved.
Yes, wow, he would do that, hewould.
He doesn't give up on us and hefinds the way that we need it
to reach us.
Right, you know, like did youinitiate?
Finding that group or puttingthat group?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
together.
I don't know.
I did not have anything to dowith putting it together and I
don't even remember how I becameinvolved with it.
I think it's just, there was agroup of ladies in our church,
like I say, and most of us hadchildren around my daughter's
age.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
And I think it's just , we were doing life together
anyway and I said, hey, let's doa Bible study.
Okay, great.
I remember, not long after thatand just totally giving
everything over to God andsaying, okay, there's got to be
change and I can't do it.
Yeah, and God saying, okay, youknow, got you, I've been
waiting for you.
But not long after that Iremember just everything changed
(11:49):
, and you know not that it wasjust instantaneously, but slowly
and surely things began toimprove.
And I remember one Sunday beingin church and worshiping and
just really truly worshiping forthe first time in a long time,
and not that you have to raisehands to worship, but I felt led
to raise my hands and worshipthat day.
And I remember it was not themusic minister we have at the
time, but one that was therethen and she said there's
(12:10):
something different about you.
And I thought, yeah, I let Godheal my heart, I quit holding on
to things that I should havenever held on to begin with.
And so, yeah, that's when itchanged.
And, like I say, that wasprobably close to two years
after the birth of my son.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Wow, too long.
Yeah, oh man, but just knowingthat he was always there.
The Bible study, like you knowyou didn't initiate it.
And just a moment on this, likeI just think it's neat that the
Lord probably put it onsomebody else's heart to start
it yes, and maybe you were thewhole purpose in that.
That's humbling, you know.
(12:48):
Or maybe you know kind of likeRahab I know you and I have been
teaching Rahab to her studentslately but like I felt like for
Rahab's story, like God sent thespies to Jericho for Rahab.
For Rahab yes, because I mean healready promised them the city.
What was their purpose in goingto scat off the city?
They already knew they weregoing to win Right, which Rahab
(13:09):
did too.
Yes, and it's like he sent themthere for her.
What an awesome perspective, Idon't know.
So sent them there for her,what an awesome perspective.
So I just can't help because Ithink for just that story that's
really cool.
But I hear in this and I'mhearing that same type of thing
for you, and maybe there wasanother person in the Bible
study who had a differentexperience.
It wasn't like yours.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Right.
All to say, if God putsomething in your heart, follow
through, Because actually I feellike most times it's not for
you personally, it's forsomebody else out there you are
doing the hands and feet of God.
So when he's telling you adirective, you got to do it.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Agreed.
What did you learn about God'scharacter?
Anything specific?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
For sure that he is patient, like I say, two years,
and he never gave up on me.
He is loving, he's waitingthere, I'm here for you, he's
right there and he bringshealing.
We is loving, he's waitingthere in the.
You know just, I'm here for you, he's right there and he brings
healing.
We seek it.
Now.
Healing comes in a variety ofways.
Yeah, this is by no way sayingif there is someone is dealing
(14:07):
with depression or any kind ofmental illness, that you should
seek only God.
God, I believe, gives doctorsand medical professionals the
gift to be able to help peoplein that situation, and I
probably should have soughtprofessional help at some point
in time.
But, like I said, pride got inmy way.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
But he does bring healing and for me it was just
through time with him, yeah, andnow they ask that stuff like
way more often 20 years ago.
I don't know how much theyasked that, but I just know for
me, like I'm going in for, myfirst appointment and that's the
first thing they're asking outabout how do I feel?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
and yeah, yeah, I don't remember if that was asked
, you know I think people aremore aware of that now.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Thankfully, yeah, because it does happen a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
It has happened a lot , and I know, even the last time
I took my son for a well visit,it's basically an athletic
checkup.
You know you got to sign offthat you're healthy enough.
They even asked him thesemental health questions and you
know I asked him do you need meto leave the room so you can?
You know, so I think that's Ithink that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I think it's good because I think it's good to
recognize that hey, like that,these negative thoughts, we
should alter them, you know like, and they can have power over
this, but they shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Well, and as Christians, I think sometimes
we're made to believe and Ithink this has gotten better
that Christians don't sufferlike that.
Yeah, but that's not true.
That's not true.
I mean, in the Bible there weremultiple people.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah, I think I feel like Job kind of was thrown away
.
He had some not great friendsthat did not help with that.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Right, which is also scriptural, about how we're
supposed to like, guard ourhearts because it's from the
wellspring of life.
You know like, which meansthose friends.
You know you don't want tobring in negativity.
That doesn't have to be there,right, but dark is always a way
through.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, yeah, and jesus can be a really great healing
point for that, yes, and shouldbe the the first that we go to,
in my opinion, mine, too, minetoo, yeah, so how has this
impact?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
you know, because now it's been 19 years, you know
from that point, like how hasthat impacted your relationship
with him losing a word?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
right.
Well, it's definitelystrengthened my relationship
with Christ, and I'm still Imean, as we all are a work in
progress and I still sometimestend to try to want to be a
fixer myself, but I'm a lot.
It doesn't take me as long nowto reach out to him.
You know I can see a lot quicker.
That, ok, this is, I've got tohave God's help on this.
(16:38):
I can't do this alone.
So definitely strengthen thatrelationship and cause me to
seek him for guidance a lot more.
I'm not perfect, so there, Ican't sit here and say that
there haven't been other timeswhen I tried to lead myself but,
like I say, I'm a lot quickerto turn to him now.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, well, if there was someone else today that's
listening to this and you'relike, I think I might be dealing
with postpartum as well, whatwould you say to them?
What advice would you give tothem?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I would say don't wait.
Don't wait, Reach out for help.
Obviously you want to go to God, you want to reach out to him,
but then find godly people inyour life, godly counseling,
godly friends that you can trustand you can confide in.
Those people were there for me.
I just didn't reach out to thembecause I wanted to.
You know, we all want toportray like we got it all
(17:27):
together.
I got it.
It's not that bad.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But you know we all want to portray like we got it
all together.
It's not that bad but if you'respending that long you know it
can't hurt.
And why do you want to suffer?
Why do you want to?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
suffer Right and God puts people in our path.
For that we, you know, wehopefully can develop a
community of friends and lovedones who are willing to help us,
and so that's my biggest adviceis don't wait, go to God and
then let him lead you to whoeverelse can help you.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And just to give a little.
No one's given me anything forthis.
But First, west Counseling is agreat.
It's good.
Christian counseling, beautifulMinds is more what our school
is connected with, and there'salso Strategic Solutions is
another Christian based.
The founders of that one areChristian, so there are some in
this area that are there.
So if you need that or foranything, I'm a big proponent.
If you listen to my show at all, I'll talk about this from time
(18:14):
to time.
I'm always pro-counselor.
They can't hurt you.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Oh, absolutely Especially.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Christian counseling, christian counseling, christian
counseling can hurt you.
Agreed, agreed.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well, I'm so glad you came out to my show, Laura, to
share your story.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
It's been fun, yeah, and I'm sure that someone has
been encouraged today from youjust sharing your story, so
thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
And my name is Laura Womack and this is my story of
the middle.
Psalm 40, verse 2, says hebrought me up from a desolate
pit, out of the the muddy clay,and set my feet on the rock,
making my steps secure.
Today I have with us fellow teacher and friend, laura
Womack.
Hi, she's been a teacher fornearly 30 years and my
co-teacher my ride or die at mynew school for this past year,
and I'm so happy you're here.
And today she's going to sharethis really incredible story,
one I haven't really had on theshow before.
So I'm just really glad thatyou're here.
And I'm so glad you're here andtoday she's going to share this
really incredible story, one Ihaven't really had on the show
before.
So I'm just really glad thatyou're here and I'm so glad to
have been working with you.
(00:28):
You're truly a gem.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for having me, andyou've been such a blessing to
me this year as well.
Yeah, so thank you for havingme here today.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So tell us about your story 2005.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I was 34 years old and I had just had my second
baby my son, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
And so what was going on?
Was there a complication withthe birth itself?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, actually his birth was very easy compared to
my older daughter, but no, Isuffered from postpartum
depression, came on kind ofquickly and without my even
realizing what was going on.
Yeah, so what made it different?
Well, my experience with mysecond baby was very different
than with my first.
There's four years differencein their age and when my first
daughter, when my daughter Ihave a daughter and a son and
(01:20):
when my daughter was born, mymother was very active.
As a matter of fact, I wentfrom the hospital to her house
because my husband was workingshift work and was working
nights, so they brought me totheir house.
My parents and she was veryactive in helping me.
She and I were very close inhelping me with my new baby
first baby and changing diapersand helping me with feedings and
(01:44):
getting sleep.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes, all the things all the things.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
And then she and my daughter had a very close
relationship.
They were just really tight.
It was just such the sweetestthing to watch.
With my second baby, my motherhad become ill and she was
pretty much bedridden, and soshe still loved on my son, but
it was in a very different way.
It was basically we would bringhim to her, lay him in the bed
(02:10):
with her and then they wouldplay that way.
She was not as for you know, abrief period of time, because it
would wear her out.
Yeah, so it was.
Just, it was really hard to gofrom having her be so active to
just not being able to be, andit's not even the help was
greatly appreciated, don't getme wrong, but just her not being
able to be active in his lifethe way she was in my daughter's
(02:34):
life.
And then, shortly after thebirth of my son, my husband lost
his job.
We had planned for me to I'dalways wanted to beat-home mom
and that was never fully in thecards, but we had planned for me
to be off for a year after hewas born, my husband lost his
job.
They had layoffs at his companyand less than six weeks after
(02:58):
he was born I had to go back towork.
Terrible, it was devastating tome and I really think that's
when the combination of theillness with my mom and then the
loss of his job, just mixedwith the normal hormonal shifts,
that happened.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, I mean because I'm sure for like the whole year
, like of you being pregnant,you were looking forward to that
and planning for that.
Yes, and that's just a big,earth shattering thing to have
changed.
Yes, you know, yes, it'sstressful that he has to like
find new income, but it's alsolike you had this dream in your
head that I get to stay homewith my baby.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right, my last baby, my last baby.
We knew he was going to be mylast baby.
That was always in the plans.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
That's just a hard thing, yeah.
And then, like I guess and Isay this because I didn't really
fully understand or appreciatematernity, leave, you know,
until I had my own child,because I would hear about oh,
six weeks off and you're, you goback to work and at the time
before I had my child, that feltlike a decent amount of time,
(03:58):
Right?
No, it's really not.
It's really not.
Especially, that's a big, hugetraumatic thing to your own body
for one.
And then just to like yourwhole life thing to happen, for
you to go back to work inbasically a month and a half and
like everything's fine, right?
No, and that's just normal.
Quote unquote things yes.
(04:19):
But to have that have happenedto you.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, that's totally devastating and I did not get
the full six weeks.
Very thankful, I actually wentback to Claiborne Christian,
which is where you know we're atnow, and I was thankful that a
position was there.
I actually I'd called to be puton the sub list, yeah, and the
principal at the time was riggedand she said Well, I've had a
teacher, a pre K teacher, quit.
(04:42):
Do you want her job?
It was the day I called, oh wow.
So I was very thankful thatimmediately I had a source of
income, but yeah, to not be ableto have that time with my son.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
it was devastating, and then, too, I think it would
probably be hard to work withother small children when you
want to be with your smallchildren.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Or you want to be with your small children right,
or your one baby, my baby.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yes, it's kind of hard, yeah just emotionally
right.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's a lot for sure it was, it was, it was hard,
yeah well, what kind of thingswere you dealing or thinking
about during that time?
Like how did you know that?
Oh, this is not, you know,because we all get sad.
Or like have a day where youfeel depressed, but feeling
depressed one or two times a dayis not the same as like this is
chronic depression orpostpartum depression.
(05:30):
Like how did you know this isbecoming a thing?
And you were struggling.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I really I could not get happy and that was I felt
very lonely.
More than anything else, I justremember feeling lonely and me
being a fixer.
Yeah, it was hard for me toreach out.
I didn't reach out and that wasa huge part of the problem, but
I just found myself not gettinghappy.
I can remember looking at myson and one vivid and I hope I
(05:59):
don't get emotional here Lookingat him and saying I was happy
before you were born.
I didn't say it out loud I washappy before you were born.
Now, I never wanted to hurt mychild.
Thankfully, yes, but I canalmost understand how you could
get to that point, becauseyou're not in a right state of
mind, but I do remember and ofcourse, immediately it's like oh
, I'm so sorry.
(06:19):
I ever thought that you're themost precious, one of the most
precious things that's everhappened to me, that you're the
most precious, one of the mostprecious things that's ever
happened to me.
So then I felt guilt on top ofthe other.
But yeah, I just lonely.
And my husband, I mean he's, hewas never ugly to me.
As a matter of fact, I askedhim the other day what his
thoughts were.
He said I don't really remember.
I was like, so I guess it didimpact him a whole lot.
(06:41):
Well, it's been some time nowit has.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I guess it did impact him a whole lot.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well it's been some time now it has.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, my son is 19.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, so it's been a minute and you know it has.
And not to discredit, him, hewas always there for me.
I mean, he just you could seethe look on his face sometimes
of like I want you to be happy,but I don't know what to do.
Yeah, he's always been the typeto.
(07:07):
I mean, he spoils me and mychildren, my children in
particular, probably too much.
They don't they don't have todo a whole lot sometimes, and I
think we probably ought to makethem do some more stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
But anyway, Sorry guys, yeah sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, I just rememberfeeling lonely and, like I say,
I've never been the type toreach out for help like I should
.
Yeah, because I just want to.
I don't want to A inconveniencepeople.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And B.
I just Is there a little bit ofa pride issue, yeah, and I just
want to deal with it myself andthat's not always the answer.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And to use your words , how long did you quote,
unquote, deal with it?
Yeah, about two years.
Yeah, that's a long time.
Too long Just waiting that youknow.
Too long, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
But I was able to kind of hide it to where a lot
of people I don't think evenrealized, and so I went about my
daily business and did my joband you know, I was again
thankful to have it, but it wasnot always the some of the
people I worked with were notthe most positive people.
Yeah, as opposed to now so, andso I just went through the
(08:09):
motions and put on a happy faceand yeah yeah, were you still?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I know you've been a churchgoer your whole life.
Did that affect, like yourchurch attendance, or are you
still just pasting it on forthat too?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
No, we stayed active in church, especially having two
little ones.
And my daughter was four, yeah,and so she was getting to an
age to where she was reallygetting active, and you know,
and so we kept.
Now it was for me it was moregoing through the motions than
anything, and you know, and sowe kept.
Now, it was for me it was moregoing through the motions than
anything.
But I knew I had to do that.
I needed to set a positiveexample for my children and try
(08:42):
to be, you know, good wife to myhusband who's trying to lead us
.
Yeah, so I kept going to church, but it was really going
through the motions.
You know worship, I would singthe songs, but it was just like
singing to the radio.
Participate in the Biblestudies we, you know, have small
group Bible studies and we, youknow, went and participated,
but again, more going throughthe motions than anything.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, and sometimes it's like that with life, you
know, with any.
You know, if it's not this,it's something else Right, right
, right.
For you, though.
When was there a time of changeLike?
When did things start to likemove forward for you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I knew that I, of course, having two small
children, I had to do something,because I couldn't continue to
lead them in this way.
Eventually things would come tothe surface.
And of course, my husband, hejust he needed better than what
I was giving, you know, such adedicated to our marriage and.
(09:37):
But I had decided to do a smallgroup Bible study, just a small
group of ladies that we wereall kind of in the same place in
life, maybe five or six ladiesthat we just decided to meet.
I think it was not part of ourregular small group Bible study
was on.
So there's like additional,additional yes, and I said, ok,
well, I'm going to participatein this.
Now I don't remember the nameof the Bible study, I don't
(09:57):
remember the name of the ladythat wrote the Bible study.
I don't remember what we werestudying, the topic or anything.
But God put me in that for apurpose.
He was getting ready to say OK,enough is homework.
That's involved in a Biblestudy.
Sometimes, again, I don'tremember what I was studying, I
(10:18):
just God pierced my heart and heliterally brought me to my
knees.
He said I'm here and again, trynot to get emotional.
But at that time I finallyrealized he's right here, I just
need to reach out.
And he was there.
God was there waiting for me.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Great how he does that like you weren't
necessarily like running to him,right, you know, just saying I
need your help, but he saw youout.
Yes, he did.
I've experienced that more thanonce in my life, where it's
like and where I'm living, doingwhatever I'm trying to do, and
it's where god's reaching downto me and pursuing me, and every
(10:55):
time it happens I always feelso loved.
Yes, wow, he would do that, hewould.
He doesn't give up on us and hefinds the way that we need it
to reach us.
Right, you know, like did youinitiate?
Finding that group or puttingthat group?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
together.
I don't know.
I did not have anything to dowith putting it together and I
don't even remember how I becameinvolved with it.
I think it's just, there was agroup of ladies in our church,
like I say, and most of us hadchildren around my daughter's
age.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
And I think it's just , we were doing life together
anyway and I said, hey, let's doa Bible study.
Okay, great.
I remember, not long after thatand just totally giving
everything over to God andsaying, okay, there's got to be
change and I can't do it.
Yeah, and God saying, okay, youknow, got you, I've been
waiting for you.
But not long after that Iremember just everything changed
(11:49):
, and you know not that it wasjust instantaneously, but slowly
and surely things began toimprove.
And I remember one Sunday beingin church and worshiping and
just really truly worshiping forthe first time in a long time,
and not that you have to raisehands to worship, but I felt led
to raise my hands and worshipthat day.
And I remember it was not themusic minister we have at the
time, but one that was therethen and she said there's
(12:10):
something different about you.
And I thought, yeah, I let Godheal my heart, I quit holding on
to things that I should havenever held on to begin with.
And so, yeah, that's when itchanged.
And, like I say, that wasprobably close to two years
after the birth of my son.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Wow, too long.
Yeah, oh man, but just knowingthat he was always there.
The Bible study, like you knowyou didn't initiate it.
And just a moment on this, likeI just think it's neat that the
Lord probably put it onsomebody else's heart to start
it yes, and maybe you were thewhole purpose in that.
That's humbling, you know.
(12:48):
Or maybe you know kind of likeRahab I know you and I have been
teaching Rahab to her studentslately but like I felt like for
Rahab's story, like God sent thespies to Jericho for Rahab.
For Rahab yes, because I mean healready promised them the city.
What was their purpose in goingto scat off the city?
They already knew they weregoing to win Right, which Rahab
(13:09):
did too.
Yes, and it's like he sent themthere for her.
What an awesome perspective, Idon't know.
So sent them there for her,what an awesome perspective.
So I just can't help because Ithink for just that story that's
really cool.
But I hear in this and I'mhearing that same type of thing
for you, and maybe there wasanother person in the Bible
study who had a differentexperience.
It wasn't like yours.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Right.
All to say, if God putsomething in your heart, follow
through, Because actually I feellike most times it's not for
you personally, it's forsomebody else out there you are
doing the hands and feet of God.
So when he's telling you adirective, you got to do it.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Agreed.
What did you learn about God'scharacter?
Anything specific?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
For sure that he is patient, like I say, two years,
and he never gave up on me.
He is loving, he's waitingthere, I'm here for you, he's
right there and he bringshealing.
We is loving, he's waitingthere in the.
You know just, I'm here for you, he's right there and he brings
healing.
We seek it.
Now.
Healing comes in a variety ofways.
Yeah, this is by no way sayingif there is someone is dealing
(14:07):
with depression or any kind ofmental illness, that you should
seek only God.
God, I believe, gives doctorsand medical professionals the
gift to be able to help peoplein that situation, and I
probably should have soughtprofessional help at some point
in time.
But, like I said, pride got inmy way.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
But he does bring healing and for me it was just
through time with him, yeah, andnow they ask that stuff like
way more often 20 years ago.
I don't know how much theyasked that, but I just know for
me, like I'm going in for, myfirst appointment and that's the
first thing they're asking outabout how do I feel?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
and yeah, yeah, I don't remember if that was asked
, you know I think people aremore aware of that now.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Thankfully, yeah, because it does happen a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
It has happened a lot , and I know, even the last time
I took my son for a well visit,it's basically an athletic
checkup.
You know you got to sign offthat you're healthy enough.
They even asked him thesemental health questions and you
know I asked him do you need meto leave the room so you can?
You know, so I think that's Ithink that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I think it's good because I think it's good to
recognize that hey, like that,these negative thoughts, we
should alter them, you know like, and they can have power over
this, but they shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Well, and as Christians, I think sometimes
we're made to believe and Ithink this has gotten better
that Christians don't sufferlike that.
Yeah, but that's not true.
That's not true.
I mean, in the Bible there weremultiple people.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah, I think I feel like Job kind of was thrown away
.
He had some not great friendsthat did not help with that.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Right, which is also scriptural, about how we're
supposed to like, guard ourhearts because it's from the
wellspring of life.
You know like, which meansthose friends.
You know you don't want tobring in negativity.
That doesn't have to be there,right, but dark is always a way
through.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yes, yeah, and jesus can be a really great healing
point for that, yes, and shouldbe the the first that we go to,
in my opinion, mine, too, minetoo, yeah, so how has this
impact?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
you know, because now it's been 19 years, you know
from that point, like how hasthat impacted your relationship
with him losing a word?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
right.
Well, it's definitelystrengthened my relationship
with Christ, and I'm still Imean, as we all are a work in
progress and I still sometimestend to try to want to be a
fixer myself, but I'm a lot.
It doesn't take me as long nowto reach out to him.
You know I can see a lot quicker.
That, ok, this is, I've got tohave God's help on this.
(16:38):
I can't do this alone.
So definitely strengthen thatrelationship and cause me to
seek him for guidance a lot more.
I'm not perfect, so there, Ican't sit here and say that
there haven't been other timeswhen I tried to lead myself but,
like I say, I'm a lot quickerto turn to him now.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, well, if there was someone else today that's
listening to this and you'relike, I think I might be dealing
with postpartum as well, whatwould you say to them?
What advice would you give tothem?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I would say don't wait.
Don't wait, Reach out for help.
Obviously you want to go to God, you want to reach out to him,
but then find godly people inyour life, godly counseling,
godly friends that you can trustand you can confide in.
Those people were there for me.
I just didn't reach out to thembecause I wanted to.
You know, we all want toportray like we got it all
(17:27):
together.
I got it.
It's not that bad.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But you know we all want to portray like we got it
all together.
It's not that bad but if you'respending that long you know it
can't hurt.
And why do you want to suffer?
Why do you want to?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
suffer Right and God puts people in our path.
For that we, you know, wehopefully can develop a
community of friends and lovedones who are willing to help us,
and so that's my biggest adviceis don't wait, go to God and
then let him lead you to whoeverelse can help you.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And just to give a little.
No one's given me anything forthis.
But First, west Counseling is agreat.
It's good.
Christian counseling, beautifulMinds is more what our school
is connected with, and there'salso Strategic Solutions is
another Christian based.
The founders of that one areChristian, so there are some in
this area that are there.
So if you need that or foranything, I'm a big proponent.
If you listen to my show at all, I'll talk about this from time
(18:14):
to time.
I'm always pro-counselor.
They can't hurt you.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Oh, absolutely Especially.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Christian counseling, christian counseling, christian
counseling can hurt you.
Agreed, agreed.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well, I'm so glad you came out to my show, Laura, to
share your story.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
It's been fun, yeah, and I'm sure that someone has
been encouraged today from youjust sharing your story, so
thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
And my name is Laura Womack and this is my story of
the middle.
Psalm 40, verse 2, says hebrought me up from a desolate
pit, out of the the muddy clay,and set my feet on the rock,
making my steps secure.
Popular Podcasts
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Betrayal: Season 4
Karoline Borega married a man of honor – a respected Colorado Springs Police officer. She knew there would be sacrifices to accommodate her husband’s career. But she had no idea that he was using his badge to fool everyone. This season, we expose a man who swore two sacred oaths—one to his badge, one to his bride—and broke them both. We follow Karoline as she questions everything she thought she knew about her partner of over 20 years. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-3 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.