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March 27, 2025 62 mins

Today on Upstream, Erik Torenberg interviews author Rob Henderson about modern romance, discussing evolutionary psychology, the attraction to dark triad men, dating apps, and practical advice for men seeking romantic partners.



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LINKS:

Why (Some) Women are Attracted to Violent Men: https://www.robkhenderson.com/p/why-some-women-are-attracted-to-violent 

 How to Choose a Romantic Partner: https://www.robkhenderson.com/p/how-to-choose-a-romantic-partner 

Richard Wrangham’s The Goodness Paradox: https://www.amazon.com/Goodness-Paradox-Relationship-Violence-Evolution/dp/1101870907 

Frans de Waal’s writings: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/112082.Frans_de_Waal 

David Gilmore’s Manhood in the Making: https://www.amazon.com/Manhood-Making-Cultural-Concepts-Masculinity/dp/0300050763 

Neil Strauss’ The Game (Pickup Artists): https://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738 

The Social Dimension of Sex: https://www.amazon.com/Social-Dimension-Sex-Roy-Baumeister/dp/0205324428


X / TWITTER:

@robkhenderson

@eriktorenberg

@turpentinemedia


HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE EPISODE:

  • Evolutionary theory suggests some women may be drawn to men with dark triad personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism) as a protective mechanism.
  • Men who achieve high status among other men tend to also attract women.
  • Pickup artist culture evolved from self-improvement advice to more pessimistic "black pill" incel communities.
  • Basic improvements for men seeking relationships include grooming, fitness, career advancement, and creating a comfortable living space.
  • Research s
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