Behind the Scenes of Power: Emotional Labor in Negotiation

In this episode of the VBCA podcast, host Alex Yarijanian delves into the often overlooked yet crucial aspect of leadership: emotional labor. Discover how managing emotions plays a pivotal role in negotiations and leadership effectiveness. Alex shares personal experiences and insights on how emotional labor can be both a powerful tool and a silent tax on leaders, especially for those challenging dominant norms. Tune in to learn how to harness emotional intelligence to build trust and lead with empathy and strength.

Takeaways:

• In the realm of healthcare leadership, emotional labor serves as an essential yet often unacknowledged component that significantly influences negotiation outcomes.
• Effective leadership necessitates an acute awareness of emotional dynamics, as managing feelings is integral to fostering productive dialogue among stakeholders.
• The notion of emotional labor encompasses not just personal emotional management, but also the responsibility to create a supportive environment for others.
• A leader's capacity to engage in emotional labor can lead to profound transformations, underscoring the importance of empathy and understanding in professional interactions.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the VBCA podcastwhere we explore the inner mechanics
of value based care, thepsychology of leadership and the
often unspoken forces thatshape our healthcare system. I'm
your host, Alex Yarijanian andtoday I want to talk about something
that isn't in your contract oryour KPI report, but it lives in
every negotiation, everystrategy session, and even difficult

(00:24):
conversations you've had as aleader. And I'm talking about emotional
labor. Now, emotional laborisn't a clinical term. It was first
coined by sociologists,sociologist Arlie Hochschild to describe
the work required to managefeelings, yours and others, as part

(00:45):
of your job. Think flightattendants smiling through turbulence.
Or therapists absorbing painwithout showing their own right.
But in healthcare leadership,emotional labor sounds like this
one. Holding space for aprovider who feels burned out while
negotiating rates and iscoming at you. Calming a payer executive's

(01:07):
anxiety about risk basedcontracting, pitching a core model
that saves lives. To a CFOwho's only focused on utilization
metrics, it's the emotionalfinesse behind the scenes that really
takes a toll. Let me give youan example. Last year I was in a
multi stakeholder negotiation.I was advocating for expanded maternity

(01:29):
benefits for low incomemothers, dual access, community based
care, all of it. One of theexecutives across the table, you
know, brilliant person, datadriven, kept pushing back. Rather
than escalate, I shifted thetone. I asked that about their experience
with childbirth. I let silencework. I didn't meet resistance with

(01:54):
friction. I met it withempathy. That's emotional labor and
that isn't easy. I had tosuppress frustration. I had to manage
my own self talk. I had toshow strengths and softness. Some
of you know me know I have atic, so I have to manage my tics.

(02:19):
And so why don't we talk aboutthis more often? Why don't we talk
about the emotional labor?It's the silent tax of emotional
labor. That's really somethingthat does over time weigh you and
burn you out. Because it'sinvisible, because it's feminized.
Because in boardrooms wereward logic over emotional intelligence.

(02:44):
But the truth is reallyleaders who perform high levels of
emotional labor are oftenquite understated. They're underestimated
and at the same time they areover relied upon. This is especially
true for those whoseleadership already challenges dominant

(03:04):
norms. Their emotional laboris higher. Their emotional labor
isn't optional. It's requiredjust to be heard. So how does emotional
labor come out innegotiations? Negotiation is a theater
of emotions. You're managingpower, fear, scarcity, ego Your emotional

(03:29):
labor is your unseen toolkit.Here's how I use it. 1. I scan the
emotional field. Who's tense,who's posturing, who's disconnected
their collective bodylanguage, individual body language
to the extent possible. Then Iadapt my energy. If the room is cold,

(03:49):
I warm it up. If it'saggressive, I slow it down. And third
really is I separate ego fromobject. It's not about being right.
It's about being effective.But let me be clear. This isn't about
manipulation. It's aboutalignment. Emotional labor done right
builds trust. And trust is thecurrency that you have. How to protect

(04:15):
yourself, though you mightwonder, and you need to know. Here's
the hard part. If you don'tname it, emotional labor will burn
you out. You'll feel exhaustedand not know why. You'll give and
give and start to resent yourown leadership. I don't want you
to get there. So here's whatI've learned. This is what you know

(04:36):
I should be doing more often.And part of this I'm sharing with
you guys is so that I couldfurther reinforce my own practice
of this kind of following. So,tracking it, literally journaling.
Where did I spend emotionalenergy today? Speaking it in your
leadership circles. Talk aboutit. Normalize it. Protecting boundaries.

(05:00):
So emotional labor ispowerful, but it's not infinite.
There needs to be protectionof one's boundaries. You're not a
sponge for everyone else'sfeelings, But a vessel for transformation
is in my notes. And that'sbeen quite helpful for me to the

(05:20):
extent to which I do put it inpractice. So if you're a leader,
if you're a healthcare leader,you already know this work is personal.
You're not just movingcontracts, you're moving people.
And that takes heart. Andthank you for doing the invisible
work. Thank you for tuninginto this episode. Let's keep leading

(05:42):
with strength, clarity, andcompassion. And if this resonates
with you, share it with acolleague. And as always, stay bold,
stay kind, and stay in thearena. I'm Alex Yarijanian, and until
next time.