Behind The Scenes: Running An LGBTQ+ Business and Tips for Pride 2024 - Episode 41

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In this episode of Transcending Humanity, Jess takes the lead, joined by Vanessa and our guest to Misty discuss supporting queer businesses, the definition of a taco, the background story of Euphoria Threads, marketing strategies, and the Pride collection.

They also explore the challenges of holding inventory, the importance of representation in merchandise, and the impact of stickers in spreading awareness. The conversation highlights the need for authentic representation and the significance of small businesses in the queer community. The conversation covers a range of topics, including representation, giving back to the queer community, business expansion, and podcast advertising. 

The hosts and guest discuss the importance of inclusivity, supporting regional organizations, and the challenges of growing a business. They also touch on the difficulties of podcast growth and the broader focus of the show. The conversation covers a wide range of topics, including queer businesses, queer family building, polyamory, and the trans experience. It delves into the challenges and experiences of individuals in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the impact of hormone therapy and the importance of support and education.

Check out Euphoria Threads on the Socials @euphoriathreadsco and their website, https://euphoriathreads.store/ - Use discount code TRANSCENDINGHUMANITY to save 20% on your order!

Jess's company, Making Gayby, can be seen on the web at https://makinggayby.com/ and Instagram @makinggayby


Chapters

00:00 Supporting Queer Businesses: A Conversation with Euphoria Threads
01:35 The Definition of a Taco: A Lighthearted Discussion
24:31 Inclusivity and Representation in Business and Community Support
37:37 Expanding Business and Supporting Regional Organizations
47:37 Challenges of Podcast Growth and Broader Show Focus
49:48 Navigating Queer Businesses and Family Building
58:36 Understanding the Trans Experience and Hormone Therapy
01:06:16 Embracing Polyamory and LGBTQ+ Support
01:12:14 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Education in the LGBTQ+ Community

Support the show

Executive Producer and Host: Vanessa Joy: https://linktr.ee/vanesstradiol

Vanesstradiol Podcast - Copyright © 2023-2025 Vanessa Joy

Episode Transcript

Vanessa (00:00):
Welcome back to transcending humanity. Just
wanted to remind everybody thatthe views and opinions of the
hosts and guests on the show aretheir own and not those of their
respective employers ororganizations are, what have
you. I also want to remindeverybody to check out our
Patreonpatreon.com/transcending.
Humanity send us money, please.
We really like money, especiallyme because the show gets

(00:24):
expensive, especially because ofmy initial promo rates. When I
started, the show went away.
This week, I'm handing controlof the mic over to chess. So
just take it away. Take

Jess (00:40):
your mic. There we go. All right. Thank you, everyone for
joining us today. We are sograteful to have all of you
watching and listening. This isepisode 41 of transcending
humanity podcast, and it's aboutsupporting queer businesses. And
we want to support careerbusinesses all the time, but

(01:02):
especially with pride month,starting in just a few days. I'm
taking the reins of this episodeas the main host. This is just
my pronouns are they them? I'mjoined by Vanessa and misty who
is our special guest fromeuphoria threads. Before we jump

(01:22):
into the main dish of theepisode, I'm gonna let Vanessa
and misty well Vanessa, kind ofintroduce yourself already, but
we always want to hear fromMisty, feel free to actually
you've got to do the icebreakerto Vanessa. So please chime in
in just a minute. So theicebreaker question for today is
do you agree with the recentcourt ruling that a taco is a

(01:44):
sandwich?

Vanessa (01:48):
There was a court ruling there was seriously your

Misty (01:52):
weight? Which court?

Vanessa (01:54):
Yeah. Indiana in Oh, fucking Indiana.

Unknown (01:59):
Indiana.

Vanessa (02:01):
I mean, only time we really care about tacos is when
somebody's face is very betweenmy legs. So you knew that was
coming? Just ask a questionabout tacos. To your favorite
lesbian without? I think a tacowas a taco honestly. It is its

(02:22):
own thing. That's why there'slike chocolate tacos and other
kinds of tacos so a taco was ataco Be it a meet taco or a fish
taco

Jess (02:34):
just had to go there didn't you?

Vanessa (02:36):
I did

Misty (02:41):
I also agree attack that was a taco. I'm gonna put a
little spin out here. I think ahot dog is a bread taco. Not a
sandwich.

Vanessa (02:56):
You just you when the internet you have one the
internet here. Price you get ayou get a unicorn. So that's a
very good point.

Jess (03:14):
Well, I kind of agree. I pretty much I also think a taco
is a taco. I haven't really readtoo much into the backstory of
this. I do think this brings upthe question. Kind of
existentially of like, what is ataco? You know, what is a
sandwich? How do you definethose things? And it turns out
it's a little hard to find goodto define but I still think

(03:36):
there's there's a differencebetween the two personally Okay,
well, without further ado.

Vanessa (03:46):
Let's stop talking about well I mean a taco is also
it's it's like a joint thingunless you have a hard shell and
then it's gonna break but in thesandwiches to pieces like this.
But what about like a hokey?
Well, boy or something. Right?

Jess (04:05):
I do think that this Court also considered a Euro sandwich.
Oh, yeah.

Vanessa (04:14):
I mean, the heroes a taco

Jess (04:15):
honestly, I need to do a little more research on why
they're meddling in in lunch.
You know, like, I'm not sure butyeah, there were a lot of talk
opinions. I don't know. Tuckit's just anyway All right,
well, Enough Enough about tacosSee now I'm starting to get

(04:42):
hungry there's that says likenever fails. I just had dinner
but it doesn't matter. Thank youtestosterone. Okay, so we have
some questions for Misty Iwanted to I really wanted to
invite her on and and I'm hear alittle bit about euphoria
threads. So, I yeah, let's see.

(05:11):
Around this time last year, westarted talking about rainbow
washing. And this kind of comesup every pride. And I feel like
especially this pride, thatconversation is so much stronger
because of what happened lastyear with Bud Light and target
just completely dropping thequeer community and squashing
all of us with their boots. Ifeel like there's an even

(05:32):
stronger push to spending,spending your merch dollars or
your pride gear budget withactual queer own businesses
instead of greedy corporations.
The trick about this is, youknow, the greedy corporations
have the money for advertisingdollars, and they're just a lot
more in your face, even withtheir really crappy little pride
collections that they're goingto only sell online or have at

(05:52):
the back of the store. So theyend up being more effective in
garnering people's attention.
But I noticed you four threadsco actually on the threads app,
not related, the threads havebeen an app, as the queer
algorithm runs pretty strongthere. And I've been hanging on
there a bit. And, um, and Ireached out to Missy, and just

(06:13):
offered a chance to come on theshow. And like I said, just hear
a little bit more about euphoriathreads. I really liked the
site. It's very cool. I havesome I have some other opinions
about gear specifically. But Idon't want to jump into all
that. Let's just let me get somequestions to you first. So can
you tell us a little bit of thebackground story behind euphoria
threads? Like what how'd you getstarted, you know, what led you

(06:36):
to create the company and decideto go on this venture? Yeah,

Misty (06:40):
for sure. So we founded euphoria threads, my spouse, S,
G, and I, last year, we have alot of experience, we both work
in the custom apparel industry.
And so making apparel is in ourwheelhouse already and natural.
And we have some understandingof production. So it felt like a

(07:03):
nicer illusion. And you know,how only 14 years ago, we
actually started a differentprimary company called proud
threads, which was a lot of fun,and we loved it. But it was
always a side gig in ourcareers, like our day jobs

(07:25):
started taking more energy. Sowe ended up shutting that down,
because we just couldn't keepboth things up. Since then, SGA
has come to understand theiridentity as non binary trans
mask. They don't like say theycame out, they let people in on

(07:47):
that. And in the past couple ofyears. So that's been your
you've experienced euphoria, Ihope and that feeling of wanting
to be able to bottle that andshare it with everyone is a
strong and with that timing alsocame the increase of rhetoric

(08:12):
and legislation against thetrans community. Witch Hunt
prompted us to start euphoriathreads, we wanted to put a
different message out there thatshowed people you know, if
you're wearing our designs, oryou're putting our stickers out
there, you're telling people inyour everyday life. You belong

(08:32):
your balance. You're welcomehere, and you're just countering
that hatred. So that's what ledus to creating euphoria threads.
And then, you know, last year,as she was mostly launching
everything, every design you seethe website, that's all SGA

(08:55):
doing all of that, and I'm justin the background saying what
have you change this and let'stry that. But that's that's how
euphoria threads came to be. Aswe wanted to counter the
messages we were seeing and put,create a space for transcend
fear, joy, and uplift us.

Jess (09:17):
That's so awesome. I love I love you know, it's so hard to
it's so tough right now in thisculture of, you know, anti queer
and especially anti transsentiment and, you know, being
able to take that energy thathappens as, as we're kind of

(09:39):
going through facing all of thisin our culture and being able
to, you know, spin that into apositive thing or, you know,
harness that joy and try to finda way to spread it is really
awesome. We're definitely majorfans of trans joy on this
podcast, right Vanessa?

Vanessa (09:57):
We've done a few episodes on it.

Jess (10:00):
Yes, it's really vital. I mean, in whatever way works for,
you know, the individual. I justthink it's like, it's like how
we're going to make it throughthese tough times right now.
And, I mean, this podcast islike one of my spots of trans
joy, for sure. It's just reallyawesome. The community that

(10:20):
we've created around that, so Idefinitely, definitely get the
the idea of just sharing,sharing that finding a way to
share it. Have you allexperienced any backlash against
you know, have you had any ofthat anti queer anti trans
culture come in your businessspecifically?

Misty (10:41):
You know, outside of some thing, random hateful comments
on social media that, like, assoon as we see it, we delete it
and get it out of there. Wehaven't. So I almost said yet,
to you that we just haven't.
Great. That's great. Yeah.

Jess (11:06):
So I noticed you on social media, and I was a little
curious about your marketing,you know, just specifically
because, you know, you're a newbusiness and assuming a small
business as well. And like, whatI'm just kind of curious, in, in
addition to is social media,kind of your, your main channel?
Or how are you approachinggetting, you know, getting the

(11:28):
word out there about you for thethreads and getting the designs
out there, knowing that thecorporations are kind of coming
in all the places they can withthe ads that will take up the
space and, you know, have thedollars, that unfortunately,
small businesses just don't?

Misty (11:42):
Yeah, it's fully organic growth through social media
right now. Like you said, youfound us through threads. And
that is the most successfulplatform for us right now,
because of the queer threads outthere for them. And it's, it's
really exciting. And, you know,we, mostly SGA will come up with

(12:07):
the posts for that. And theypretty much treat it like a
personal account. So I feel likethere's an authentic voice that
comes out, it's pretty genuineand smart. We're focused on
building community andsupporting other small
businesses. We just did asticker exchange with the rich
boudoir project, which isexciting. So we are also going

(12:33):
to get started going to someevents. So we're near DC, so
we're not going to ven netcapital pride this year. But
WorldPride is here next year.
And so we're planning to try toget a booth in DC next year,
which will have huge crowds, andthat'll definitely get us in
front of a lot of the community.

(12:55):
Yeah, that's

Jess (12:56):
cool. I honestly never heard of WorldPride. That sounds
good. What can you tell us alittle bit about it? I can tell
you a little of what I Yeah. Imean, I'm curious. Yeah,
whatever, you know.

Misty (13:07):
So we we heard of WorldPride. I guess in 2014. It
was in Toronto. And we thought,oh, let's go and see it. We
didn't make that trip. But thisyear, or the last one that was
in Sydney. And I think it's justlike, there's a city. Yep. That
changes every year

Jess (13:28):
like the Olympics. Yeah.

Misty (13:30):
Yeah. And okay, so there's, I'm seeing ads on
Instagram now for like the WorldPride music festival that's
going to be here next year. Andfor a second, I thought, is this
real? Or is someone jumping onthis, but I checked the Capitol
pride website, and it lookslegit. Oh, so Cloud, it'll,

(13:51):
it'll be a fun pride if you wantto. I don't know where you're
located. But you have a year toplan to come to WorldPride in
DC.

Jess (14:01):
I could I could road trip there and like a day or so. But
that is good to know aboutpossibilities. And that's I
don't know how far you are. Imean, I know you're aways but it
would be a day or two. It's far.
Yeah,

Vanessa (14:16):
I think it's honestly, DC is. I think it's like seven
hour drive. It's not too bad.

Jess (14:24):
Yeah, I think it's about the same for me. But that's
really cool to know. And it'sreally cool to know. Have you
ever thought about like, are youplanning to bid mostly do direct
to consumer? Are you consideringany? Like other collaborations
or forums, or are you justthinking because it's mostly

(14:45):
like, I mean, I hear you sayingyou're looking at going to some
events to obviously be able tosell things in person at a
booth, right and a big event,but other than that, it's mostly
like direct to consumer throughthe site.

Misty (14:56):
Yes, yes. So we have never are explored a business to
business relationship or apartnership like that. But right
now we're fully ecommerce. Onthe website. We're on tic tac
shop, things like that.

Jess (15:12):
So, got it. Got it, if that's

Vanessa (15:15):
working for you just be if you do start thinking about
b2b, just be exceedinglycareful, exceedingly careful.
This is from experience. Yeah, Iused to run a manufacturing
company, and depending on who,what company, you're working
with the, they will call all theshots, and they will tell you

(15:35):
what they're gonna pay forthings. So if you ever get into
that kind of interest in doingthat reach out to me, and I can
try to give you some advice,because it can get scary really
quickly. It can also be verylucrative, but you have to
balance it. So

Misty (15:52):
thank you. Yeah, and it hasn't, we haven't had a an
opportunity come up. And we'renot actively going after
anything like that right now.
But as we grow old, we mightconsider it. So I'll definitely
reach out if, if that comesalong.

Jess (16:12):
Um, so I know, you're not going to be in a pride event
this year. But have you Inoticed that you have a pride
collection on your site. So whatwhat, you know, obviously, that
collection is Have you doneanything else to kind of prep
for the pride rush? Have younoticed a pride rush happening?

Misty (16:29):
We've noticed an increase in sales, but I'm not sure if
that's connected to a priderush, or because we're building
more engaged shows. Right? So.
But yeah, when we dropped ourcollection, which it's more,
it's kind of our springcollection, it's not so like,

(16:50):
heavy on Pride. Messaging, it'sstill pretty much everyday pride
where we snuck in a rebrand. Sowe updated our logo, made a few
updates to the website, which,you know, that was really to
reflect more of our brand, ouroriginal logo was quickly put

(17:11):
something that we like, outthere. So like

Vanessa (17:17):
our logo here at THP.

Misty (17:21):
It's, it's always a good time, once you kind of get your
identity more like fleshed outand everything to then think
about, if your logo reflectswhat you're what you're working
towards, and what you what youwant people to think when they
see. So in our pride collection,there are a lot of new designs

(17:48):
that I'm excited to wear, SJ hasnot made those shirts for me
yet. It's okay.

Jess (17:55):
Not to submit an order slip or

Misty (17:59):
new. I I just have to be patient, Expo. But something
else we're doing a prep forpride is you know, we don't keep
a lot of inventory on hand, wewant to make sure we're not
creating a lot of waste fromhaving things that are going to

(18:19):
sell. And so to be prepared toget our turn times down, we've
built up some inventory, so wecan ship orders out faster. And
we also just finished updatingour process. So that, you know
we for our apparel we weretaking about a week, after in

(18:41):
order to be able to ship it. Andnow we're cutting that down to
depending on what's ordered. Andif we have it it can be as
little as a day but at most wecan get things out in four days
now, which I'm very excited forthe week turn time felt that's
way too long.

Vanessa (19:00):
Yeah, in a week, though, for a drop shipper that
that you're you know, you'reindependent, and is holding
inventory. I don't think peoplerealize how expensive it is to
hold inventory. Yeah. And as yousaid wasteful, and you can you
can come out with something thatyou think is an amazing design,
but then just nobody buys it.
And then what do you do with it?
So if I'm buying from a smallerstore, I I generally give more

(19:28):
leeway for lead times because ofthat. So one thing for listeners
if you're, if you're buying froma smaller shop, if they seem to
be running a little slow, it'snot that they're not interested
in getting your order out. Theyjust want to make sure you get
everything right. And yeah

Jess (19:46):
yeah, absolutely. And that's, I mean, that's just
understandable challenge for foryour business but so awesome
that you were able to, you know,make some changes to that
already and get it done. down,at least at this time of year,
you know, when I'm sure thatpeople will, people will want
their gear, you know, beforeJune or at least before they go

(20:08):
to whatever Pride event they'regoing to coming up.

Misty (20:11):
Yeah, that's what I was worried as like, okay, we're
getting very close to June and Idon't know when in the month
people have their events, but wewant to be able to get these out
to them as fast as we can. Soit's, um, you know, our process
for creating the shirts likewe've limited which styles of
academic t shirt we offer sothat it's easier to have that

(20:34):
blank product on hand. And thenjust which design people choose,
and getting that put on theshirt is a lot easier than
having all different colors.

Jess (20:47):
That makes sense. Yeah.

Vanessa (20:50):
Yeah, a lot of people do last minute for actually just
did a, like, five hour roundtrip to Columbus and back to
pick up shirts for theorganization that I'm a part of
now for pride this week. So

Jess (21:08):
yeah, sometimes you've got to do it. It's that's, that's,
that's part of it. Especially ifyou're not in a if you're trying
to place an order. And you'renot from a big you're not in a
big city. You know, you got togo to the city to to get the
thing. Yeah, absolutely. Well, Iwas looking so I was looking at
your website, I was looking atyour designs, you really cool. I

(21:29):
have some things that Ipersonally want. I love the on
the trans Joy collection, thereis the there's the dare shirt, I
think that is really awesome.
Definitely need that it's dareto protect trans kids. But on
that on that program, and I knowwe're Vanessa and I are both
actually elder millennials. It'sreally hard for me to Yeah, so

(21:53):
so that that is just so fitting,because that was 100% what I
grew up with. But I love youknow, I love these designs and
roping in the or, you know,incorporating the trans colors
for a lot of I also love thistranscend shirt. I really love
that line design on that onethat is really, really cool. But

(22:15):
one of my favorite things onyour site is the rainbow
stickers that you all have thathas. So euphoria threads has
this whole collection of rainbowstickers, that is all the
different flags colored in therainbow. And that's just like so
clever. I've never seen thatbefore. And I love that. And
especially I think that a lot ofpeople who you know, have part

(22:37):
of their identity be some ofthose things that are a little
less known, you know, not justthe standard queer flag or even
the pride progress flag or eventhe trans flag. You know, I
think beyond that, it's probablylike the lesbian flag is
probably like, a little bit morerecognizable about the non

(22:59):
binary flag behind me. But youknow, even having the the
polysexual flag of pansexualcolors, the asexual colors, the
gender queer gender fluid, Imean, it's so cool to have all
of those options, because I hearfrom, you know, a lot of folks
who identify with those, youknow, terms or whatever we're,

(23:22):
you know, kind of words we'reusing for those semantics, but
that it's hard to find thatrepresentation. You know, it's
hard to find the flags, but it'sdefinitely hard to find any
merch that's not a flag. So Ithink that's a really cool
because, and stickers are fun,too. Because it's like, it can
be that subtle. You know, like,if somebody's really
conservative, they're just gonnabe like, what's kind of the

(23:44):
strangely colored rainbow? Youknow, it's just not get it? You
know, which is like, kind oflike, and somebody else is like,
wow, that's the gender queer.
Yeah, that's the does the genderFLIR queer colors. Yeah. So
anyway, I just wanted to callthat out. Because I think that's
really cool. So I'll definitelylook at, look at getting some

(24:09):
shirts, but also adding in someof those fun stickers to
personally hear, yeah,

Misty (24:14):
we, for the stickers, they're so easy to add. So I
think for your listeners, ifyou're looking for us, like a
specific sticker, and we don'thave it, all you have to do is
message us and we can make itvery quickly and post it and
make it available. So we'retrying to be as inclusive as we

(24:38):
can, knowing there are only twoof us and between us we don't
encompass every identity. Sothat's really want to be open to
hearing from anyone that likehey, I don't feel represented.
Here's what would make me feelrepresented on your site. And
then I can have that in my life.

Vanessa (24:59):
That's awesome. That's cool.

Jess (25:02):
Very, very cool. So, another thing that I wanted to
ask you about was your givingback program. So I noticed on
your site, it looks like 20% ofthe profits go to, which is
that's a really high percentageof the profits that undergo, you
know, towards a, towards a goodcause in the queer community.

(25:25):
And I know that you, there aresome specific organizations that
you support. So I just want togive you a chance to talk to
tell our listeners a little bitabout that.

Misty (25:34):
Yeah, thank you, um, to be clear, just 20% of profits,
not sales. Yes.

Vanessa (25:41):
Still, it's considerable.

Jess (25:43):
It's still you can't do 20% of sales that would put you
under? That's not, that's justnot possible. Yeah.

Misty (25:49):
Yeah, we have right now we're supporting three
organizations. And we're tying,like each specific product
relates to one of those threeorganizations. Two of them are
big national organizations, andone's a regional. So I'll talk
about the regional one first,which is side by side. So that's

(26:12):
based in central Virginia, inthe Richmond area. And they're
specifically focused onsupporting the legitimate ACWA
youth of Virginia. So that theycan define who they are, they
can flourish, they can grow andsupporting the families and

(26:33):
guardians and communities forthose youth. So every item on
our website that has a designthat's related to the youth
community, the profit, theproportion of profits from those
items goes to side by side. Theother two bigger organizations

(26:58):
are the trans lifeline. So allother trans and gender
nonconforming designs, thoseprofits go there. And then the
Trevor Project, which is therest of the designs, something
that we'd really like, you know,we chose side by side, because
I'm familiar with it, I went toschool in Richmond, we really

(27:20):
like more, to focus more of ourgiving back to some of the more
regional organizations that aredoing work. So if you all have
any recommendations, or if yourlisteners have recommendations,
and you want to suggest anorganization that's like on the
ground during the workspecifically, like you can see

(27:42):
the impact to the community moredirectly, I'd love to hear it.
So DMing us on socials oremailing us through the website,
we are really open and want tolike, get our giving back
program to have a more cleardirect impact.

Vanessa (28:04):
Yeah, awesome, can definitely see more clear direct
when it's something smaller,too. So

Jess (28:10):
yeah, and I feel like a lot of those regional or, you
know, local organizations don'tget the same funding that, you
know, the Trevor projects in thetrans lifeline, although those
are really great organizationsand they, you know, do a lot of
good, it's, it is easier forthem to get funding. You know,
even even folks who are not inthe community might have heard

(28:34):
of them, you know, or that'slike, those are kind of some of
the ones that you start to hearof, right away, right after, you
know, kind of like HRC and stufflike that. So it's you know,
that that starts to come up,especially within the trans and
gender nonconforming community.
So, um, but yeah, it is Itotally agree. When I was a
teenager in Atlanta, I, hisorganization doesn't exist

(28:57):
anymore, unfortunately. But Ispent a lot of time working with
an organization that was reallyfocused on supporting queer
youth. And it was like, it waslike a literally, you know, it
was very supportive. It was verylife changing to have that
organization, they had supportgroups and events that, you

(29:17):
know, had adults kind of as, aslike, mentors slash chaperoning,
like a little bit, but not likein an annoying school type way,
but just like, you know, a wayso that there were some, like
adults in the building, and thenthe kids could, like, you know,
do what do what they wanted todo and socialize and have a
space to, and they would alsohelp people who, if they got

(29:38):
kicked out of their house, andstuff like that after they came
out, you know, so that was, thatwas just really instrumental for
me throughout high school. Um,it was really, really major. And
I do know I will send you a linkto there's an organization in
Oklahoma that we highlighted ifLike several episodes ago, when

(30:00):
we were talking about nextBenedict, that is a really great
local organization in that area.
And it's actually, like has someindigenous ties and indigenous
run and stuff like that. So it'sa very, you know, from the
research that I did, it seemslike a good organization. So
I'll definitely pass that one. Idon't remember the name of it to

(30:20):
be honest, I'll have to check mynotes. But I'll def I think
maybe it was freedom Oklahoma,actually. Because I remember
when I heard the name, I waslike, that sounds like a right
wing thing. But then it turnedit turned out that it wasn't,
but I'll double check that makesure that that's the name. But
But yeah, that's, that's one Ican think of. But um, yeah, I
mean, it's, it's just, it's justgreat to be impactful in so many

(30:42):
ways, but especially in thoseways that are doing erect. Work
with, with queer folks, andespecially with queer youth,
because we talked a lot we, youknow, have on the show before
about how, you know, our heartsgo out to the queer youth right
now who are experiencing this,you know, we're experiencing all
this antiquarian as a transsentiment as adults who've, you

(31:06):
know, at least had time todevelop and, you know, maybe
have resources to go to therapyor, you know, things like that.
And for queer youth, it justseems like it's just a really
tough time to be a queer youth.
So definitely want to supportany organizations that are
supporting queer youth. Sothat's awesome.

Misty (31:30):
If then, thank you for sending that recommendation
over. In the future. Yeah.
Appreciate it.

Jess (31:37):
Yeah, absolutely. For sure. Cool. Well, um, is there
anything else you want to like?
Add? Or, you know, from any ofany?

Misty (31:47):
Um, yeah, I have a couple of things. So yeah, I mean, we,
like our mission at euphoriathreads is specifically to
uplift, Trans and Queer joy. I'mbeing a, she and I are being
very intentional not to let thatturn into toxic positivity.

Vanessa (32:07):
Smart,

Misty (32:09):
feels like the biggest risk with that focus. But we
chose that because there is aplace and there's a time for
rage and fight and like havingteeth. And a lot of people are
doing that really well already.
So we didn't think we needed toadd our voice to that. So what
we're hoping to create is kindof a soft place to land on, you

(32:33):
need a break from Doomscrolling, and you just want
something that is showing somehope and brightness for the
community. So with that, youknow, we want to expand into
creating more connection. Andboth of us are introverts and

(32:53):
quite reserved. So this might bea pipe dream. You know, creating
community events, whetherthey're in person or virtual to
help bring people together. I'vegot some draft Spotify playlists
that, you know, people canlisten to on their on their way
to and from pride events thatmight showcase new LGBTQ artists

(33:14):
that they haven't listened toyou, but also have some, like,
pretty mainstream songs to keepyour interest as you're getting
through new music. So we're, weare an apparel and accessories
business, but we're focused onthe community. And so we're

(33:35):
looking at different ways toexpand in that way, and just
create more pockets of joy andeuphoria for the community. I
also SJ created a discount codethat we can share with you and
for your audience. Awesome.
Yeah, no, it's transcendinghumanity. True casting. That's

(34:00):
the code. And it's 20% off yourorder. So Oh, yeah, it's, I
don't know, anything less than20%. Just doesn't feel big
enough to me sounds like

Vanessa (34:13):
Yeah. But it's also as, as on the business end. But

Misty (34:22):
I guess we're making sure we're covering costs.

Vanessa (34:25):
That's very generous of you, though. So again, that
discount code is transcendinghumanity. I'll have that in the
description for people to checkout. And so

Jess (34:37):
guess thank you so much for that. Yes. I, I will very
likely be using that as well,for my order. I will take you up
on that. But that that isawesome. Yeah. And I think I
think that's great. I thinkyeah, 20% is, you know, like I
get it. It's sometimes if it'slike five or 10% It's like, oh,
it was a few dollars, you know,but yeah, but yeah, at the same

(34:59):
time, it's it is a trickybalance as as someone in
business because, you know, you,it's so awesome to hear that you
all are so invested in thecommunity and want to be so
active with the community. Andit's also true that you have to
be a sustainable business inorder to do that you have to
continue to exist. And so you,you have to, like, you know, you

(35:22):
want to be generous, but alittle careful, because if
you're too generous, then, youknow, if you're not covering
costs, then that is of not beinggood. So, but I think that's,
that is really wonderful. Well,so the, yeah, do you want to
just tell us where people canfind you? I mean, we've
mentioned threads, but do youwant to and we'll definitely put

(35:43):
the handle and we can put thesite in our show notes. So
anybody listening, please checkthe show notes for this. But if
you also want to call it out,that would be awesome.

Misty (35:50):
Yeah, so we're, it's euphoria. threads.com is our
website and all of our socialsare euphoria threads, co like CL
company. So that's threads,Instagram, Facebook and Tik Tok.
So

Vanessa (36:08):
it's great on the same consistent one over everything
to

Misty (36:11):
Yeah, I wouldn't have chosen to put toe in there, but
someone has has heard about itsomewhere. And we want it
consistent.

Jess (36:19):
Yeah, smile, because it makes it so Yeah, cuz if people
are going cross platform, youtotally need it. Also,

Vanessa (36:25):
honestly, I think adding the code gives it a
little bit more of an officialvibe, too. So I think it's
actually a good thing.

Misty (36:31):
Well, look at that makes me feel better. Thanks. Good

Jess (36:34):
move. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. for joining us,
Misty, and please, everyonelistening, check out euphoria
threads, put your put your queerdollars, give them to some queer
people, let's get a little queermoney circle going around. Get
ready for pride you know getyour get your gear get your

(36:55):
flair. And and know that you arenot supporting like Grady Target
or Walmart or whatever othercorporation is, like really
problematic, even beyond thelack of real pride support. Yes,
that's for another episode. Butyeah, thanks again. Misty, and

(37:18):
yeah, we'll have to catch upwith you soon. I'll definitely
send you that wreck. And we'lldefinitely have to keep keep
chatting and see. I hope thepride season goes so well for
you and SJ.

Misty (37:29):
Thank you so much. Thank you. Have a great night. Bye.
Bye.

Unknown (37:37):
I just Hi.

Vanessa (37:39):
We just got bigger on the screen

Jess (37:41):
now the screen change

Vanessa (37:43):
for for listeners. I know, I'm not sure how different
is going to look for the videoversion. But we're, I'm trying
out a platform called Riverside,which is like podcast, hosting
slash, video slash all kinds ofthing kind of doohickey. Instead
of zoom, just, you know, switchit up. Because it also makes it

(38:06):
easier for me to do clips andstuff like that for for
advertising. So. So if you'rewondering why things look or
maybe even sound different, it'sbecause of that.

Jess (38:16):
Yeah, yeah, let us know what you think. Anyone
listening, we'd love to hear. Doyou like it? Do you not like it?
Well, so for the rest of theepisode, we wanted to kind of
continue the conversation alittle bit about pride and queer

(38:38):
business support. And I haveseen several posts about Target
and Walmart and such recently,it definitely is still fresh in
LGBTQIA folks mind that it isnot not a great thing to
support. And there's been a lotof kind of SLAM posts of like, I

(38:59):
found this back rack at Walmart,like facing the dressing room,
just like a couple of crappyshirts or whatever. But I think
we all know, I've also noticed alot of speakers, like a lot of
folks who do a lot of you know,public speaking as part of
their, you know, job or makingmoney or whatnot, their own

(39:23):
business that they have beentalking about that they're not
booked as much. Like AngelicaRoss mentioned that like she
hasn't been booked as as much asshe has in previous years, which
is really unfortunate. And JokerRoss Yeah, well, and I feel like
that Yes. And also some I'veknown I've noticed the same,

(39:46):
basically the same story fromsome less famous folks too.
That's a little less surprisingfrom but yes, I think that that
is indicative of a whole thisSame thing, but a different
thing. Because that's reallyshowing that the business

(40:06):
community, which is a lot oftimes who was employing those
speakers, right, that thebusiness community as a whole,
you know, even a community thatwouldn't necessarily have a
merch collection, but they wouldhave a pride speaker for their,
you know, pride ERG or whatnot.
That, that the businesses areless invested in the queer
community, or there's somethingabout it, that is having them be

(40:30):
hesitant towards having speakersthat they've had for the last
several years. So that is alittle troublesome, just as like
kind of a flag in our, in ourgreater culture, that that is
happening. And of course, itjust perpetuates the thing of,
you know, queer folks beingisolated from the larger, like

(40:52):
larger society. If we are lessacceptable in certain ways in
which we were more acceptable,you know, a few years ago, and
now all of a sudden, we're notyou know, the board is against
it, or corporates against it orwhatever. Like, that is a bit of
a troubling signs. Yeah. So Idid also just want to talk about

(41:18):
and like, I have some questionsfor you about your business,
Vanessa, I know you've beenworking on that more recently.
And you know, I was I was tryingto look up your site, but I
don't think I have the rightside because I was coming up
with a different

Vanessa (41:34):
out there is there is a nother Vanessa Joy that's
photographer. She's a much morefamous photographer than I am.
She's a full on influencer.
Actually. I sent her a messagethe other day, see if she
responds, just saying, Sorry, Ihonestly didn't know you existed
when I chose my name. And thenthroughout my entire political
thing, like, I wouldn't besurprised that people are

(41:56):
reaching out to her. So butyeah, she's Vanessa joy.com. So
if you want to check out thatVanessa Joy, and I'm Ben, Ben
australia.com That one of myexes said it should be
pronounced an Australian Idol.
Because it's Esther dial. Istill like the Australia better.

(42:17):
I think it just flows better offthe tongue. So

Jess (42:20):
I think it's your word. So you get to get well

Vanessa (42:23):
it's based off of estrogen, estradiol, but
yesterday it was spelledestradiol, so Right. So yeah,
it's been a struggle. Daikon wasmy photography and business
coaching website.

Jess (42:35):
Okay, okay. Yeah, I did. I did come across the other. The
other Vanessa Joy, and I waslike, this is not this is not
the Vanessa that I No,

Vanessa (42:47):
no, she's she's, she's, she's she's much more serious.
Yeah, she's very pretty. Okay,coming

Jess (42:53):
across that way. Yeah.
That's awesome. Yeah, so what Iknow you've normally you know,
mostly done real estatephotography, but you've recently
started to do what someheadshots and things like that.
What other

Vanessa (43:12):
packages are you offering? I'm trying to branch
out. So like with real estate, Ialso just started offering 2d
floor plans floorplans ofhouses. I was trying out some
different ones. And using CubaCasa now, but I'm like, I'm
limiting myself just doing realestate photography, especially
with so much competition in myarea, and so many realtors that

(43:34):
won't hire me because I'm trans.
And so I'm trying to break intoheadshots, portrait, senior
photos, events, all that kind ofstuff. So I just started
advertising all that and I haveto kind of build up a portfolio
first. So I need some clientsfirst in order to do that. But
once I have some people on boardcan build out my portfolio. I

(43:56):
think I start getting some morebusiness that way. But when we
real estate photography is whatI'm good at. But I've been a
photographer for 25 years. So Ihave a learning curve, but I
also set my pricing accordinglyright now let's yard portrait
and has like I'm doing SR forthis for $150 which is really,
really cheap. But I'm alsolearning in the process. So I'll

(44:18):
just say that later on. Nice.

Jess (44:26):
I know where you are. It's very red. But have you have you
like considered at all likelooking at bigger cities like
queer community? I don't know ifit's more like, I don't know. I
would imagine that maybe likenot a huge population still even

(44:46):
in some of those bigger citiesin Ohio but it's like it's also
one of those things where likeif you're trying to get like
family portraits or somethingand you're a queer family or you
know you are going to have awedding and it's not even
necessarily the eventphotography, but like the pre
though Whatever though, like prewedding photography and stuff
like that it's a little more,you know, staged and yeah, that
like, you know, sometimes it'slike, as a queer person you want

(45:08):
another queer person? Is thatanything you would consider your
close enough to any of those bigcities to consider? Yeah,

Vanessa (45:14):
I mean, I advertise myself locally as a queer
photographer. But because italso reached out the riffraff I
don't want clients that don'twant me around them. But I live
close enough to Akron and Akronis a big enough city, I can get
business out there and I canstill get business out of
Cleveland if I want. Some justdepending on how much I want to

(45:36):
drive. By night, Columbus isabout two hours away. And I
mean, eventually, I don't wantto be in Ohio the rest of my
life, I want to be in thePacific Northwest. But Ohio
keeps rubbing me and especiallysince I just signed on as CO
executive director of Ohio legalrights. So that's gonna be keep
me busy here for next two years.
So yeah, I as much as I want toleave Ohio. I keep finding like

(46:01):
you're

Jess (46:04):
digging in deeper self.
And that happens. Yeah,sometimes that happens. Cool.
Okay, well, I pulled up I pulledup your site. I love this. This
is great. This is very cool. I'mpretty proud of it. Yeah.

Vanessa (46:22):
Yeah, it's great.
Squarespace you can make suchnice websites. out it's it looks
so professional, but that entirething took me like 45 minutes to
put together. So it's awesome.
Here's plugin Squarespace, not asponsor, but could be.

Jess (46:40):
You could be Squarespace.
Yeah, we would consider youstripe I

Vanessa (46:44):
highly doubt in Squarespace is listening to this
with our 185 90 listeners. Well,maybe one of them might be you
know, who knows? But no, no. Wedid. I am trying to grow the
podcast just put me in touchwith the feminist podcast

(47:05):
collective. So I had my firstmeeting with them. And so you
might start seeing someadvertisements on this show for
some other podcasts that I plugin. And then we advertised on
there just to kind of help growpackets in general lately had
been having trouble growing. Soyeah. I don't know where that

(47:26):
came from.

Jess (47:27):
Yeah, no, I think the supply of podcasts is just very
high. You know, there's just,you know, like, there's just a
lot of podcasts out there. Thereare so many, even my list of
what I listen, very often when Iwork unless I'm really having to
like deep focus on something.
You know, and just around thehouse doing chores and stuff. I
definitely, it's I listen to alot, but I still have a huge

(47:50):
running list of the things thatI need to get to. So it's tough.
Yeah. And it makes us more youknow, we're getting a little
more professional legitimatewith some for real
advertisements. And, and alsohopefully getting yet our
advertisement on some of theirspots. It might also help us
bring in some interestingguests, or at least

Vanessa (48:13):
network I'm definitely pushing. Actually, I've been
talking to, I became after thatlast episode, Natalie Napa. She
and I text all time now she gaveme her phone number, and she
wants to be on the show. Sonice. But yeah, I'm looking to
try to get like, more guestslined up to switch some like
Ohio State House reps. And, youknow, just really just brought

(48:36):
in things like, especially likethe stuff we're doing with the
show where we're focusing moreon humanity over the trans
stuff. Just, you know, tobroaden our horizons a little
bit. Has nothing to do withphotography. But you know, the
podcast however I can.

Jess (48:53):
No, I mean, that's great.
And I mean, the whole, you know,trans folks are like, we are
whole people. I think we end upfocusing a lot on transness.
Because there's so much pushbackright now, against it. But it's
like, you know, we do all sortsof normal stuff to

Vanessa (49:14):
like, yeah, I don't know where I heard it. It's a
quote that I I echo a lot, butthe being trans is the least
interesting part about us. Yes.
So it's just what's up front andcenter right now. You know,
we're all just real people. Wejust happen to have this one
little thing about us that, youknow, we can't help it. It's
just it's just there so.

Jess (49:38):
Yep. And some people just can't handle it. And that's
their problem. Yeah, fuck them.
So,

Vanessa (49:46):
oops. Yeah, this shows never gonna be monetized on
YouTube, so whatever.

Jess (49:53):
Well, since we're talking about queer businesses, too, and
I'm here I figured I would alsoplug In my project that I've
been, to be honest, thelisteners, you know, I've been
like kind of taking a break fromit, just taking getting really
kind of taking my breath,because I spent a ton of time
last fall and winter, working alot on this project. So I

(50:18):
created an organization calledmaking baby last year, I
mentioned this on some previousepisodes, but making baby is
it's like a, it's a blog site,and I have some digital courses
on there, totally online. It'sfor queer and trans folks who
want to become parents. And Ieventually would like to also

(50:40):
have some more content on therefor queer and trans folks who
are parents like parentalsupport and stuff like that. I
have a whole big, whole bigvision for it that I won't get
into here. But I've beenplugging away at some different
aspects of it for a while. AndI've been able to actually be
hired by a couple of businessesand do a little bit of speaking
from it. But I did, yeah, that'sthe only way I've actually

(51:02):
figured out how to make anyincome from it. I'm just to try
to keep it going. Because it Imean, just like this podcast,
even though it's a small thing,you know, I kind of call it a
project, it's a it's a businesstechnically, and and, you know,
it does cost money to just keepup just the site and all the all

(51:22):
the functionality that I've gotgoing there. So, so I just
wanted to mention the digitalcourses there basically, to
quote queer family buildingcourses. And the first one is
really an introduction, it'sreally best for people who are
curious about becoming a parent,they haven't done a lot of
research. And really, my goal ofbringing all this information

(51:43):
was really to present it from aqueer lens. So instead of having
it be like, when I was gettingthat information, looking to
become a parent, it was like,information slated towards
hetero folks, a lot of times wewere having Why am I losing the
word in for fertilitychallenges, there we go. Brain.

(52:08):
And, and then there would belike, a little piece on there
for like, Oh, and if you'requeer, this is also relevant,
right? So I really wanted tokind of flip the script on that
and have it be that I'm talkingto queer, I'm a queer person
who's gone through thisexperience, done a lot of
research on it, and I'm in myaudience is queer folks, as
well. So I really wanted thatto, you know that to be the

(52:30):
forefront and not to be where Iwas writing from. So the queer
family building course is free.
It's like, it only takes aboutan hour to go through the whole
thing. But yeah, it's just, it'sjust an intro. And I just wanted
to have that be something tokind of give the community and
again, if you've, if you've beendoing a lot of research on
queer, you know, conceptionoptions, and queer family

(52:50):
building, that one is probablylike stuff you already know. But
for people first starting out, Itried to make it, I tried to
make it as non biased aspossible understanding that even
I cannot be completely unbiased.
But I just did my best topresent the information on
issues, everything ranging fromadoption, to, you know, at home
insemination to inseminating,with a doctor in a fertility

(53:13):
clinic, and in vitrofertilization. All of that, just
kind of present the options thatare possible, specifically
talking to queer folks in theUS. And then the second course
is a little more advanced. It'sreally geared towards, excuse
me, people who are trying toconceive, and also will utilize
a sperm donor, whether it's aknown donor or an unknown donor,

(53:35):
but it kind of goes off of thelike adaption track. And it's
more detailed information. Andthat one is 20 bucks. But it's
also it's a longer than thefirst course, it's still close
to an hour. But But yeah, I justI have those on the site, I will
make sure to link the site it'smaking gave me.com. So I figure
I might as well plug myself overon here, plug in queer

(53:58):
businesses, but But yeah, andI'd love to, you know, I'd love
to share that with people, evenif people just come and take the
free course. Or even if theyjust come and check out the site
and read a blog post orsomething. My goal was really to
share information through aqueer lens to queer folks and
just try to support them, youknow, in their life, but
specifically in their familybuilding journey. So, yeah,

(54:21):
yeah.

Vanessa (54:22):
I mean, there are way more queer folks out there than
people probably even realizethat are looking to adopt or
looking for fertility. Fertilitythings. Yep. Vanessa, you sound
so smart. And just a quickcommunity is pretty big. We make
up about 15% of the population.
So if you ever feel like you'realone, you're not if you're

(54:45):
having if you're having ifyou're overwhelmed by the
thought of, you know, kids andprocreation and adoption, stuff
like that, check out Jesse'ssite. So you can do I think
tippy toes into it and know whatyou're doing. Yeah. Oh, I'm not
that kind of queer person. I,but, you know, there are a lot

(55:08):
that are very interested in,like,

Jess (55:13):
you know, to each their own kids care me not Yeah, I get
it. She's bad because I haveone. Well, you know that that is
like, that's a lot of timeswhat? What cures that
reproduction bug is a child?

Vanessa (55:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but

Jess (55:33):
no, it's all I just remind myself as a parent all the time
when things are feeling a littletough which like both of us I
know our kids are around thesame age so mine's 442 Okay,
yeah. So it's us, you know, theysay terrible twos. Threes worse,

(55:53):
three is worse, right? Soterrible twos, then then when
they're two, you start goingterrible twos. I didn't know
this was I didn't really knowthat this isn't that bad. And
somebody says, well just waituntil you have a three major.
And you're like, What the hellis a threenager? And then they
turn three and you're like, Oh,I get it. Okay. And then nobody
warns you about four. Nobodysays anything. There's no

(56:15):
phrases. There's no cute thing.
There's no nickname. But it isserious. It is serious, because
they don't want to please youanymore. They don't. They've,
they've got their setup. Youknow, they've got their food.
They've got their situation, youknow, like, and, and there they
are just ready to just

Vanessa (56:43):
they're independent get not at the same time. Yeah. And
it's absolutely maddening. Sobecause you want to help them
with something. And they want todo it themselves.

Jess (56:54):
You don't help them? No, no, no. And you don't rush them.
No, no, because it'll take workon their own time. Yes,
absolutely. Absolutely. So yeah,I try to remind myself that it's
all temporary. That's my littlemantra. If I'm having a tough
time with it. I'm like, this isall temporary. This is all

(57:14):
temporary. I have figured outthough. Key to parenting is
right about the time that you'relike, you know what I have? I've
figured out this phase. I've gotit. I've got my tools. Were
working better with this. I'mfinally used it. As soon as you
start thinking that

Vanessa (57:32):
next phase. Oh, yeah, it's out the door. So it's gone.
Never think that everything'slined up. So the best thing to
do is get advice from otherparents. So I've heard that.
Five is actually kind of a funyear. So from what I understand
eight is like the sweet spot forkids like eight is the best

(57:52):
year. But

Jess (57:55):
I don't know. Yeah, we'll have to we'll have to wait and
see, I guess. And you know, it'severybody has their age ages are
developmental periods thatthey're more comfortable with
for whatever reason. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm going to use that as asegue. Because the last during
the last episode I was talkingabout when I say polyglot, I

(58:17):
think I was talking aboutpolyglot, and I thought it was a
polyamory term, but it wasn'tright. It was not a polyamory
term. I was wrong. And I calledmyself out on that. Okay, but I
figured it out. Okay. The termthat I was thinking of, was
pollywog. Poly WA. Okay, so apollywog can mean in addition to
meaning, a larval frog or Toad,

Vanessa (58:44):
I was thinking, isn't that a pokimane? That's

Jess (58:46):
the science one, right?
That's, I think, maybe so. Idon't know. I know I shouldn't
have been done, but I don't.
Okay. So but pollywog in thepolyamorous community can be a
child who lives in a polyamoroushousehold. Now the thing that is
a little confusing about thisfor me is that this particular
site that I'm looking at alsosays that it can also be a new

(59:08):
member to a polyamorousrelationship. So it obviously is
there are different terms. Idon't want to like get in
trouble with any listeners whoare like, that's not what
pollywog means. But I wanted tolook it up, I wanted to have a
little bit of information. Andthen I have one other polyamory
term that I'm going to share,just because like I said, I find
these terms fascinating. thequeer community terms, the poly

(59:31):
community terms. I'm not Polly,but it's I find it interesting
anyway. So Compersion the termis compassion. Okay, which I
believe is just a new word. SoCompersion is happiness at the
joy of one partners. Wait,sorry, let me start over

(59:53):
happiness at the joy of one'spartner in another relationship,
sometimes referred to as the Theopposite of jealousy.

Vanessa (01:00:02):
That's actually, okay, I'm getting that. I never really
thought I'd wind up in a polysituation. But here I am, you
know, starting to see two women.
And they both know that theother one exists in Nico with
it. And they both have partnerstoo, obviously. And like talking
to my local partner, her otherpartner is a guy. And I don't

(01:00:26):
feel jealousy that like, maybe Iwould if her other partner was
another woman, I don't know. Butlike, I'm just more like, I like
just learning about him. Andlike, I'm like, This guy sounds
like someone that could be afriend. So. And like, I don't

(01:00:46):
have that whole jealousy thing,which is interesting. When I
thought I would, maybe it'llcome up later. I don't know. But
it doesn't really bother me.
Like my relationship with thetwo women I'm seeing is my
relationship with that. And theyhave their relationships with

(01:01:08):
other people do it, maybe it'sthe estrogen in me to?

Jess (01:01:14):
I don't know. So it'd be our you know, yeah, the hormones
are a big, big, big player inthis, or even just a different
time in your life. You know, Ihave been in polyamorous
relationships before for areally long time. But yeah, it

(01:01:36):
just isn't, isn't for me. Butit's not a completely foreign to
me, either. But yeah, that's,yeah, it's, it's interesting
how, I mean, it's justinteresting how we all evolve as
individuals, right? It really isto try No, yeah. Sometimes you
can really surprise yourself. Ithink trans people know that

(01:01:57):
really well.

Vanessa (01:01:59):
Yeah, for sis listeners, like one of the first
were the first things that transpeople noticed during the
transitions when they startmedically transitioning. So I
don't want to sound like elitistwith it with the whole medical
transitioning thing. But that'sit, there is a medical
transition part and how thehormones reprogram your brain so

(01:02:20):
for me, I my estrogen,reprogrammed from a brain that
had only been filled withtestosterone, Jess was the
opposite. And it's the way yousee the world. Everything is so
different. And that's one of thewas is that was it. Same for you
when you switch? It was was themental thing, the first thing
that you felt? Oh,

Jess (01:02:40):
yeah, I mean, I definitely think that I still think that
the mental and an emotionalchanges are the things that are,
are the most noticeable, likeall the time, you know, and
yeah, like the the physicalstuff is obviously noticeable to
with, with surgeries andhormones, but But yeah, the

(01:03:03):
mental stuff is really and thatwas the thing that I didn't, I
wasn't like expecting, you know,I didn't, like I didn't. I just
hadn't really heard of that.
Now, now that I've experiencedit. And I'm even more, you know,
more heavily involved in thetrans community and not just the
queer community at large. I amhaving more conversations with

(01:03:23):
people around that. So I'mhearing about it more that that
is very, I would say thatthat's, I don't want to say
universal, but I would say thatthat's fairly common for trans
folks. Absolutely. To have tohave a really major mental
shift, not just an internalmental shift in how you think
about yourself, and that, youknow, euphoria, that, but also

(01:03:45):
just in the way that you reactto things. And the way that you
process things, either mentallyor emotionally. energy levels,
even like, pain levels, can bereally different for people who
are going through, you know, orare experiencing HRT or taking

(01:04:07):
HRT. And yeah, I mean, for me, Ithink part of it was, I mean, a
lot of a lot of it was I didn'teven recognize dysphoria as
dysphoria. I just thought it waslike, I just thought it was sad.
Just like, Oh, this is how I am,you know, and I didn't, it
didn't. I didn't never once onceI really started to understand

(01:04:30):
like, that word, and that's whatI was experiencing. And the flip
side of that was was reallyhuge. But yeah, definitely. And
I've what I find reallyinteresting about the mental
piece though, just touch on thatone more time is that I have
experienced myself and I knowyou have said yourself, and I've
heard several other people saythat one of the biggest things

(01:04:51):
is, once we get on the hormonesthat feel better to our brains.
We are calmer Yes, and I thinkthat's interesting, because, you
know, my body was producingestrogen. Estrogen dominant,
right. And now I'm moved to moretestosterone dominant, and you

(01:05:14):
did the opposite. But, but weboth feel calmer, you know,
which also kind of it doesn'tsurprise me too much from the
estrogen perspective, but liketestosterone has the whole hype
of like, the anger piece, like Iactually personally feel a lot,
I'm a lot, I'm a lot slower toanger on tea than I am than I

(01:05:35):
was before. I mean, so it's justinteresting.

Vanessa (01:05:43):
It is, as you were saying, it's like, part of the
trans experience is it's really,we have our brains are in the
wrong body, and the medicaltransition is to try is to work
to fix that. And so for you,your entire life, your body was
producing estrogen in yourbrains, like where the fuck is
my testosterone? I need mytestosterone in order to

(01:06:05):
survive. And from use the upsetI was making testosterone and my
brain is like, where's myestrogen? It's that simple.
Yeah, well, trans experience Itis that simple. Yep.

Jess (01:06:17):
It is true with the the science of the science of our
brains. And they are lookinginto that more. I know, we
touched on that in the episodethat we did a while back with
Shay barn. So if any listenersare interested in hearing more
about that, you can probably popback to that episode and, and
listen to some more about that.
But this is actually, you know,in addition to anecdotal
experiences from the community,and the two of us specifically,

(01:06:41):
this really is something that isbeing studied scientifically, as
far as brain development, braindevelopment in utero, and brain
development throughout someone'slife. And how hormones affect
that development. And how a lotof people have trans identity
have brain patterns that arealigned with the, the sex the

(01:07:03):
the gender that they feel morecomfortable with, right? So, so
yeah,

Vanessa (01:07:13):
it's a trip it as well, it's I need to figure out how to
sign up to donate my body toscience when I die. Oh, yeah.
Just because I think transpeople need to be studied more.
So to figure that out. If anyoneknows, like a good way to do
that to like, not just organdonor, but like, research donor
for trans people to donate touniversities, whatever, for

(01:07:35):
science, please contact us atthe show, because that's
something I'd be interested indoing.

Jess (01:07:40):
Another reason to reach out to us. Yeah, yeah. You

Vanessa (01:07:43):
can reach out and touch us. Vanessa's Vanessa's libido
has been since since I'm nowback on hormones.

Jess (01:07:55):
Yes, your levels were adjusted and you're feeling I
just

Vanessa (01:08:00):
got my test results.
Were kind of like 497. Now upfrom that, too.

Jess (01:08:05):
It's I mean, I know that like they don't want you to go
over a certain Yeah,

Vanessa (01:08:09):
but it's also only been two days since my check. I
inject on Mondays and I, I was Iwas gonna have my blood test
done next Thursday. But I wasthere today to get some STI
tests done. And I'm like, Imight as well just do my
hormones while I'm here. So. Butit still seems kind of high. But
then my progesterone super low.
So who knows? That's whatdoctors are for. So yeah, chat
with her. They'll

Jess (01:08:32):
tell you well, if they try to mess with your medication,
tell them I mean, you probablywould do this anyway. But I'll
just say it, tell them that youwant to retest further away from
your injection? Because yeah, Iknow, I know, you worked hard to
get the medication at what youfelt like was going to be a
better level. And I saw someonerecently talking to someone
recently who went through asimilar thing where they got the
blood test right after they haddone their injection. And then

(01:08:53):
they were told it was too high.
And they were like, let me comeback and do that. Maybe not.

Vanessa (01:08:58):
Yeah, my doctor doesn't like working off of one blood
test. So just like when I waslow, I had two blood tests.
That's so smart. Because yeah,cuz there could just be an
anomaly. Yeah, I don't know. Soyeah, but that's another thing.
Trans people are used toneedles. Yes.

Jess (01:09:13):
Lots of blood. Maybe needles, lots of blood work.
They've been making sure that myblood is still flowing. That's,
that's the thing that happenswith testosterone. It can make
your blood a little slow.

Vanessa (01:09:24):
Do you inject your tea?
Um,

Jess (01:09:27):
I haven't been. But I'm actually just about the switch.
Just about needles.

Vanessa (01:09:33):
Yeah, bad. It's just fine. It's just all the needles
and we add more when we giveourselves. Yeah, we just so

Jess (01:09:38):
yeah, yeah, I've been doing the gel for a long time.
It's been it's been good. Ifinally got my levels to where I
wanted them to be. I wasstarting out really, really slow
and low, which is what I wanted.
I'm still not planning on takingthe maximum dose just because I
really don't want to mess withmy hormones too much. I don't I
don't want to do anythingdrastic. Yeah. I want to just

(01:09:58):
see how things are. But I getreally annoyed with the gel in
the summer. Because you're, youknow, like, I have a four year
old and I don't want him to havecontact with the gel. So I end
up having to wear short sleeveswhen I really want to wear tank
tops or like let's be real noshirt.

Vanessa (01:10:16):
Yeah, so you did all that too? I

Jess (01:10:18):
did. I paid for the lack of boobies. So you know, I want
to like let it let it fly. Iwant to get some sun. You get a
nice tan on my on my

Vanessa (01:10:31):
chest chirps trans guys are just the whole meme. You
know, it's the whole thing.

Jess (01:10:35):
It's the whole thing. So So yeah, um, I I am going to
switch to injections, becausethen I won't have to worry about
that. But yeah, I'm I haven't,you know, I'm close to making
that switch. I haven't quitedone it yet. So we'll see where,
you know, we'll see how it goes.
Fingers crossed. But I thinkit'll be good. I think it'd be
nice to not have to worry aboutit until you know once a week

(01:10:57):
and

Vanessa (01:11:00):
and you know you're getting the right the same
dosage every single time toYeah,

Jess (01:11:03):
it's it's less of the gel is like Definitely. It's
definitely a little bit. Is itreally getting in there is it
all getting in there? We're notquite sure. And it definitely
tested even from even from mylower doses. My tea was like
pretty low for a while. I don'tknow if my body just finally got
used to absorbing it orsomething. But I definitely have

(01:11:23):
heard I've heard from a lot ofpeople, but it's a lot easier to
control when you're putting itin your body. Because then yeah,
it's really clear you reallyexcept

Vanessa (01:11:31):
to the searches. Yeah.
It's just once a week and it'sso quick. Yeah, no, the entire
thing takes like four minutes.
Yeah. Yeah.

Jess (01:11:38):
So, so um, you know, I'm looking forward to that. Just
because then I don't have toworry about having this like the
weird after dry gel on myshoulders all day.

Vanessa (01:11:50):
crusty. Yeah. It's making me think of churches.

Jess (01:11:54):
No, no, it's clear. Okay.
It looks nothing like just Ijust

Vanessa (01:12:00):
want dried trans girl come that's clear.

Jess (01:12:03):
Okay, that okay?

Vanessa (01:12:08):
You're like, fuck you.
Wait TMI transplants were squirtfolks. Just so you know, we
squirt because we still haveprostates

Jess (01:12:15):
know how. I'm always.
Like, just a little surprised.
I'm just like, wow, she really?
Yeah.

Vanessa (01:12:23):
I went there. Yeah. I also just like educating people
to know, that's great. Like,that's great. I don't have a
filter. It's really important.
You need to know that with thisnew position as at Ohio equal
rights, I really need toremember to hold my tongue when
I'm doing like official thingsfor that. Like on the show, or,

(01:12:44):
you know, whatever this is, thisis us. But for that, like, I
have to be professional. It'scan be hard. Professional.

Jess (01:12:54):
It's good to exercise those muscles if you can, but I
know it can be challenging.
Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Allright. Well, we should probably
wrap up. Yeah.

Vanessa (01:13:06):
Oh, this actually has a timer on it. That's kind of
handle Nice. hour in Do you havea timer on your screen? No, I
don't. I don't know. Oh, Iwouldn't say 18.

Jess (01:13:15):
Okay, so it's good time.
I'll see if I can do thisconclusion a little bit.

Vanessa (01:13:22):
Yeah, fuck it out.
Okay.

Jess (01:13:25):
Thanks for joining us for this episode, everybody. Don't
forget to like, comment andsubscribe. You can find this
podcast on YouTube, Spotify,Apple podcasts and Buzzsprout.
That's all still correct, right?
Yeah,

Vanessa (01:13:38):
pretty much any podcast, any podcast, most of
our listeners are on Apple,Spotify Buzzsprout. Okay.

Jess (01:13:46):
You can also access our audio files and YouTube directly
at our site at transcendinghumanity.com. And that's where
we have links to become a patronto the show as well, which is a
great way to support the show.
We love your dollars. This is anindependently funded podcast.
And we really appreciate anylistener support with that,
because it helps us from nothaving to take quite so much out

(01:14:07):
of our own pockets. Most of all,

Vanessa (01:14:13):
I want to take a chance to thank our bus buses, bus
route subscribers, because youcan actually subscribe to us two
ways you can do it on Patreon.
And thank you to our one Patreonsubscriber that we have right
now. Yes, and we have four busesfor our subscribers, which now
makes it so our hosting is free.
Because they before they sendmoney to you, they just apply it

(01:14:35):
towards your bill. So ourpodcast hosting right now thanks
to our buzz. It's hard to sayBuzzsprout. Your subscribers has
made this free. So that doeshelp. Thank you very much to the
four of you.

Jess (01:14:47):
Yes, thank you. Each and every four of you

Vanessa (01:14:54):
will get there eventually. Yeah, eventually
I'll actually be able to you Youknow pay my co hosts so that'd
be nice but eventually we'll getthere yeah

Jess (01:15:08):
all right everybody thank you all thank you bye