October 3, 2024 • 38 mins
Have you had a traumatic experience after giving birth? If yes, how did you heal from that experience?
Brigid Tebaldi shares her transformative journey from birth trauma to becoming a beacon of hope for mothers navigating similar paths. Her creation of Loreto Wellness is a tribute to her faith-driven healing process, inspired by the Litany of Loreto, and the power of maternal instincts. Brigid opens up about the elusive concept of a "perfect birth," guiding mothers to find beauty in their unique birthing experiences, no matter how unpredictable. Through her story, listeners will uncover how faith can serve as a cornerstone in reclaiming inner peace and resilience in motherhood.
Explore the profound impact of gratitude journaling and personal reflection as tools for healing. Brigid delves into how these practices can help mothers transform birthing trauma into a narrative of resilience and beauty. Even if journaling feels daunting, Brigid offers gentle encouragement to start with messy drafts, embracing whatever mode of expression feels most comfortable for processing emotions and reframing experiences.
Community and faith emerge as vital pillars in the journey to healing and resilience. Brigid introduces the "Birth Redemption Blueprint" workshop, a supportive resource for mothers seeking to heal emotionally and reclaim confidence after difficult births. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to mothers to connect with their community, embrace the strength found in positive affirmations and Scripture, and nurture their relationship with God. Brigid's compassionate call to action encourages seeking help when needed, fostering joy and strength in motherhood through communal and spiritual support.
If you are in need of mental health support, please consult your doctor.
To Connect with Brigid Tebaldi:
https://www.loretowellness.com
https://www.instagram.com/@loretowellness
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https://veilandarmour.com
https://veilandarmour.buzzsprout.com
https://www.sheilanonato.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sheila Nonato (00:04):
Hello and Welcome to the Veil and Armour podcast.
This is your host, SheilaNonato.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and afreelance Catholic journalist,
Seeking the guidance of the HolySpirit and the inspiration of
Our Lady.
I strive to tell stories thatinspire, illuminate and enrich
the lives of Catholic women, tohelp them in living out our
vocation of raising the nextgeneration of leaders and saints
(00:27):
.
Co-host (00:27):
Please join us every week on the Veil and Armour
podcast, where stories comealive through a journalist's
lens and mother's heart.
Sheila Nonato (00:39):
Welcome to this week's episode of Veil and
Armour, where we will be lookingahead at the month of the Holy
Rosary in October.
Our guest this week is BrigidTebaldi, a certified women's
health coach specializing inhelping women heal from trauma
after birth.
Brigid was inspired to begincoaching women in their journey
towards a holistic andChrist-centered healing after a
(01:01):
traumatic birth experience, andher inspiration came after
praying the rosary with herfamily and praying the litany of
Our Lady of Loreto.
Let's Brigid's story story.
Welcome, Brigid, to Veil andArmour.
Thank you for joining us todayand we're honoured to have you
here.
Can we start off with a prayer,please?
Yes, please.
Brigid Tebaldi (01:22):
Okay.
Sheila Nonato (01:22):
Did you want to lead or Sure I?
Brigid Tebaldi (01:24):
can?
Yeah, okay, yes, please, okay.
Did you want to lead, or sure Ican?
Yeah, okay, yeah, sure, okay,all right, In the Name of the
Father and of the Son of theHoly Spirit.
Amen.
Hail mary, Full of Grace, theLord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and blessed is the fruit of thy
womb, jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, Prayfor us sinners, now and at the
hour of our death.
Amen, Father and the Son andthe Holy Spirit.
(01:47):
Amen.
Sheila Nonato (01:48):
Thank you very much for that.
I think it's very appropriateto start off with that, since
we're going to be talking aboutmotherhood and, specifically,
birthing and the experience ofbirthing.
Sometimes it is not as peaceful, but I just want to introduce
you first to our listeners andviewers.
So you're a wife and mother offive dedicated to guiding
mothers through their birthjourney with grace and strength.
(02:11):
Brigid champions holistic,joyful birthing experiences,
encouraging women to honor theirmaternal instincts and embrace
divine guidance.
She is a certified women'shealth coach from the
Integrative Women HealthInstitute and an experienced
fertility awareness coach.
Brigid specializes in helpingwomen heal from birth trauma and
reclaim their inner peace.
(02:32):
Her compassionate approach aidsmothers in processing difficult
experiences, fosteringresilience and cultivating a
stronger sense of self.
When she's not supportingmothers, Brigid cherishes
moments with her family on theirfarm, whether it's watching her
children ride bikes, playingwith their horses or losing
herself in a good book.
Welcome, Brigid.
(02:53):
So tell us first the nameLoreto Wellness.
You were mentioning.
It has something to do with OurLady.
Brigid Tebaldi (03:03):
Yes, definitely.
So this business was somethingthat was on my heart for a long
time, but I had no idea anythingabout it, like I didn't.
I just knew that, like I wasbeing called to do something.
And one day I remember likevividly I was sitting in a joke,
it's like my prayer chair.
I was sitting in my prayer chair, we were saying our Rosary
(03:26):
chair, we were saying our rosaryand we finished up with the
Litany of Loreto after that,which we do sometimes,
especially if we do, like the 54day Novena.
And so we were saying it and Igot to the point in the litany
when it said cause of our joy,and all of a sudden it was just
like oh, I'm supposed to name itLoretto Wellness, because mary
found, like her sainthood, whichshe already had, but she became
(03:47):
the mother of God by doing suchbasic things, even as a child,
where she was helping, she wasserving willingly, she folded
laundry, she washed floors, madefood, did everything like that.
And again, she did it with suchthis reverent heart.
And that's just what we asmothers are called to do,
(04:10):
however imperfectly we do it Iknow I definitely do Again,
we're just called to live likeher.
So the idea that we can imitateher through this litany of
Loretto again just becomingsaints in the simplest ways in
our homes really resonated withme.
Sheila Nonato (04:29):
Wow.
I love the connection and howit has blossomed into a business
helping other mothers.
So in terms of, I guess, thebirthing experience, everyone
has their unique birthingexperience but I guess people
can have the idea of a perfectbirth.
Right, tell me about is theresuch a thing and how do we
change our mindset about that sothat it can help us sort of
(04:54):
manage our expectations aboutour birthing experience?
Is there a perfect birth?
Brigid Tebaldi (05:09):
Yeah, so theoretically there might be.
But no, because in birth youcan.
You can set yourself upperfectly Like you can do all
the education, you can have allthe knowledge, you can eat all
the good foods, do all the rightexercise, but you can't control
everything.
It's just like life, right?
So if you have just think of achild, like you can have that
child do everything right mostof the time and thinking that
they're going to turn out,they're going to be perfect all
(05:31):
the time, and kids are kids arenever perfect all the time, even
if you like attempt to be thebest all the time.
But the same as with birth again, you can set yourself up for
perfection and it's never goingto happen because we're a fallen
people and, um, it's just.
Things can happen.
(05:51):
That doesn't mean that youcan't have beautiful, wonderful
births, but is there ever suchthing as a perfect birth?
I think the only perfect birthwas probably the birth of Jesus,
because Mary is the onlyperfect or like, sinless person
aside from Jesus.
So we can definitely havebeautiful, wonderful, amazing
births, for sure, and like I'vehad them, so like I'm saying
(06:13):
that from experience.
But we cannot controleverything and that's one of the
big things that we need tolearn is that, again, we can't
control everything, so all wecan do is surrender, try our
best and, again, just put it allin God's hands.
Sheila Nonato (06:32):
Yes, the surrender and putting it in
God's hands that sometimes thatis difficult, because for myself
I'm talking about myself I liketo control, I like to oh, yes,
I got to direct everything, butyou know I'm I got to direct
everything, but you know, I'mjust speaking from experience
here, so hopefully it can helpother mothers as well.
I did have yeah, I did havethat perfect idea of birth.
(06:52):
I did suffer a loss, so I wasvery conscious of everything.
So I did have a birth plan, Ihad a doula, I did have an OB as
well, and I thought, okay,everything's set.
I was, only I was eating a lotof kale.
It was that time when peoplewere saying kale is the new beef
(07:13):
.
Anyway, I, you know so, butthings happened in a way I
didn't expect I did.
I did manage to be able to sortof exert my my agency, I guess,
in terms of what I wanted interms of medications, so I was
able to have quote unquote anatural birth.
It was hard, though, andpainful, and things did not go
(07:35):
as well.
I was sometimes not able toraise my voice about certain
things.
So I'm looking at your websiteand the brochure about certain
things.
So I'm looking at your websiteand the brochure do you call it
a brochure?
Sort of a blueprint, I wouldsay from pain to peace.
Now there are these steps andthe foundation.
The first foundation is embraceyour emotions.
So why is it important?
(07:57):
Because when I, when I wasexperiencing it, I was
experiencing a lot of emotions,to be honest, because after
birth, right it's, it's a's, ait's, it's a whole new
experience.
It, you know, it's somethingyou've never.
If it's your first time as afirst-time mother, it's
something you've neverexperienced.
And so there are all theseconflicting emotions, but in the
foundation, your firstfoundation, you recommend we
(08:19):
embrace our emotions.
Why is that so important?
Brigid Tebaldi (08:23):
Yeah.
So, and this is embrace thisdocument that we're speaking of
specifically is to for those ofyou who may have had a difficult
birth experience, and itdoesn't even have to be like a
super traumatic one, but againlike, if things happen that you
were like I didn't want that orsomething like that.
That is who this is for, andthe importance of embracing your
(08:44):
emotions Sorry, if you'rehearing Hugo right now.
He wanted to say something, nota problem.
The importance of embracing youremotions comes from the fact
that if you don't acknowledgewhat has happened to you or what
you did experience in thatmoment, things are just going to
keep spiraling.
So if you just kind of shut thedoor to it and are like it was
(09:06):
fine and my baby's healthy, it'sfine, you never know whenever
that closet that you just shovedfull of stuff is going to break
open, right.
So it's super, super importantfor you to go through those
emotions again, which is superhard, but it's really important,
(09:26):
and it's important to do thatwith somebody, because what that
person will do, if they havethis skill, is they will
validate what it is that youwent through in this way.
That doesn't make you themartyr or, like the practitioner
, this terrible person.
They just validate what it isthat you felt.
So, whether that is like you'refeeling anger, shame, guilt,
(09:49):
whatever they can reflect thatback to you in a way that you
can be like, oh, maybe Ishouldn't.
Like, yeah, those things, Ifelt that, but maybe I don't
need to actually feel that way,like maybe I can reframe it so
that I can see the good in it.
So it's not that you'reforgetting what you felt, but
again, it's just acknowledgingwhat you felt, whatever those
(10:11):
emotions might be, recognizingand validating them and then
figuring out, using theseChrist-centered strategies to
help you understand why Godallowed you to feel those things
.
So, again, it's just a littlebit of a different way of
thinking about it, but it'sreally important because, again,
if you just shut the shove,them all in a closet, you never
know whenever they're going tojust spill out versus if you
(10:33):
take the time to unpack and topack in a way that's going to be
helpful and that allows yourbrain to process these things,
it's going to pay off so muchbetter in the future.
Sheila Nonato (10:47):
Yes, and it's.
I love how you, in yourdocument, you had you know,
specifically for Christian women, for God-fearing women, that
there are these, as youmentioned, christ-centered
coping strategies, that you hadprayers for emotional healing.
You also have scripturepassages for comfort and then
you have techniques for usingprayer and meditation.
(11:09):
Can you tell me a little bit?
You mentioned three thingsdaily prayer, deep breathing and
gratitude journaling.
Can you give us some tips for amother who you know?
Let's say, yeah, she has gonethrough something.
Maybe it's recent, maybe it'syears ago, but it's still
lingering.
How do these three thingsprayer, breathing, gratitude
(11:31):
journaling how will this help usand what's a practical way to
approach this?
Brigid Tebaldi (11:37):
Yeah I want to touch on.
I'm going to actually go to thepoint where you said whether it
was years ago, because twoweeks ago I had a conversation
with a mom whose daughter was 22years old and the mom came to
me because she said she wasstill feeling the effects of it
and she just like she couldn'tput words to it, but she was
like just something isn't rightand every time I think about it
I just keep going back to likeher daughter's birthday.
(11:59):
So we kind of unpacked it alittle bit.
And that's exactly what I'mtalking about, where it's like
if you don't process whathappened, it will just, as you
know, like your body holds thescore right, so it's just going
to keep compounding andcompounding and compounding
until finally one day yourbody's like I can't have this
much trauma and stress stored inmy body anymore and I need to
(12:22):
get rid of it.
And if you do it in a healthyway, that's awesome, that's
going to increase your brain'sresilience, that's going to
again improve relationships.
But if you do it in anunhealthy way to release it, you
never know what might come fromthat.
So, as far as the threetechniques, daily prayer is
obviously essential becausehaving our relationship with God
(12:45):
is going to again.
If you're coming and listeningto this podcast and assuming
that you love Jesus and havingthat relationship is so vital,
because, if you think about it,if you ever have a relationship
with somebody and you never talkto them, and then maybe like
once a year, you're like, hey,how are you?
And then it's kind of awkwardbecause you're like, oh, I'm
(13:05):
good, but I've been waiting foryou to call me, or I tried to
call you and you never returnedmy calls.
And then you're like, oh right,so it's vital to keep that
steady line of communication sothat you can tell God what
you're feeling.
He can help you manage emotionsand go through different
situations.
And this doesn't have to belike a set aside, an hour or
(13:28):
anything.
If you can, that is awesome.
I personally just know that Ican't seem to get that done with
five kids.
I would love to, but I justcan't seem to find one hour
where I can.
Even if I wake up at five,somehow everybody knows that I'm
awake and then they all wake upwith me.
So what I do is I take littlepockets of time throughout the
day where, say, I'm washingdishes.
(13:49):
As I'm washing dishes, I justtalk to God or if I'm I don't
know, getting the baby to sleepinstead of scrolling my phone,
which I admittedly still do.
I try to pray a little bitbeforehand.
So just little pockets like thatare really great so that you
can enter into that relationship, so that every day, multiple
(14:09):
times a day, you're just keepingthat communication line open
and having chats brain, whichthen, if your brain gets oxygen,
everything just works better,versus if you're taking like
(14:30):
shorter, more shallow breaths,you're not getting that really
deep oxygen up into your brainand then that leads to a whole
cascade of other things thataren't going to function well as
in addition to that.
So by breathing and feelingyour chest open up, feeling your
belly expand as you take abreath, that's going to really
again allow you that space, evenif it just takes a second or
(14:53):
two, it's going to allow youthat space to just be present in
the moment.
So, again, just taking thatdeep breath and then exhaling,
it's one or two seconds, but youhave all of the physiological
effects that happen with againthe oxygen increase and
everything like that, but thenyou also just have that space
and the mental and emotionalbreak so that you can reset for
(15:16):
that second or two.
And then the last one, thegratitude journaling.
This one is really importantand it doesn't have to be like
you actually sit down with ajournal.
Important and it doesn't haveto be like you actually sit down
with a journal.
This could just be like send avoice note to somebody or use
voice to text to just get it out, where it's like you just find
something that you're gratefulfor, whether that be in your
life, whether that be about yourbody, whatever it is, and it
(15:39):
could be something little Like.
I think the example I gave Igave a lot is if it's really
hard for you to like, look atyour C-section scar or to think
about anything around, likenursing babies or anything like
that, find something that's notrelated at all.
So I always say, like your pinkytoe or something, or like
something so small like that,where you can just be like thank
(16:03):
you for my pinky I don't knowpinky toe, because it helps me
balance, or whatever it is.
Just make some, make somethingthat's so little feel more
significant, because theneventually you can work your way
up and then eventually you'llget to again, I'll just say,
your C-section scar where youcan be thankful that you had
that experience and that youwent through that, because it's
(16:24):
made you a stronger and moreresilient person today.
So those three things arereally great that you should do
every single day, regardless ofif you've had a bad birth
experience or not.
Doing those three things everysingle day is great because,
again, it helps foster thatrelationship with God.
It helps you physiologicallyjust stay centered and stay
breathing, which is great, andthen just feeling that you start
(16:48):
to change your mindset.
Instead of seeing the negatives, you start to see the positives
and everything.
Sheila Nonato (16:53):
Yes, I love that phrase when you were saying
resilience, developingresilience, and how birthing is
a transformational experience,whether you've had a good one,
not so great or could be better.
I'm thinking about Japanesepotteries when something's
broken, they do put it together,but then they get gold paint
(17:14):
and they paint the cracks toshow and symbolize.
I guess that this is not thesame pottery.
It's actually new and improved.
Even though it was broken, it'sbecome, transformed into
actually something beautiful.
And I feel like this is whatyou're helping women to do is,
if they've had some kind oftrauma in their birth experience
(17:35):
, that they can through Christ,as Christ has shown us through
the cross, we can have sort of aredemption story to our story
of trauma, that we can transformthat.
If you can talk about thefoundation, the second
foundation, of reclaiming yourbirth story, what does that
entail?
How do we do that?
Brigid Tebaldi (17:55):
Yeah, so for this step.
And again, this document islike a primer to what I go
through in my actual sessions.
So if this interests you at all, let me know, Because again we
go through way sessions.
So if this interests you at all, let me know, because again we
go through way way more, waymore exercises.
But again, reclaiming your storyis really important because a
lot of times women come to meand they'll say like I felt,
(18:16):
like things were done to me thatI didn't want done, or I had no
idea what was happening, orjust that you felt like things
were out of control.
I hear those words a lot andthe point of reclaiming your
story is to remember that thisbirth experience is about you
and your baby and while it'sokay to accept help if you just
(18:37):
like, if that's what you desireor if you do need additional
support, it's important toremember that this is about you
and this is such atransformational time.
So by going through and doingthese different journaling
exercises, it really helps toremember that you are centered
and also that God is centered inthat experience as well, and a
(19:01):
lot of times we forget that Godis with us in those difficult
moments.
God is with us in thosedifficult moments.
So I have clients go throughthis, a few different exercises
so that they can help see whereJesus was or where Mary was in
their story, and that just helpsto.
Again, it doesn't make thisstory, the story go away or it
doesn't change how things went,but it just helps your brain
(19:22):
reframe it so that, instead ofbeing this really scary,
traumatic, challenging,difficult experience, it
reframes it.
So that, instead of being thisreally scary, traumatic,
challenging, difficultexperience, it reframes it so
that you can see that, yes,maybe things happened that you
didn't want, or maybe youconsented to something that you
didn't actually want to consentto, but it helps you see that
God was there with you and that,even though that happened, he
(19:43):
will bring good from it yes,absolutely, and I'm just looking
at, um, this beautiful document, you prepared journaling steps.
Sheila Nonato (19:54):
So for people who are, you know, who are not used
to journaling, right, they,they mean, they they're not sure
, how do you?
How do you do this?
And I'm also a little bitafraid to write things down.
How do how do I get over sortof this fear or anxiety about
writing something down?
That is very painful?
Um, how sort of, yeah, thefirst step.
How, writing something downthat is very painful.
How, yeah, the first step.
How do I do that?
(20:15):
What do I write down?
Brigid Tebaldi (20:18):
Yeah, so this can take a few different drafts.
So the first time you do thisit could be messy, it doesn't
matter, just write whatever itis down.
It doesn't have to be incomplete sentences, it can just
be like you want to draw it,draw it If you have different
emotions you want to attach toit.
Attach it.
Just get it out in whatevermedium feels good to you and
(20:40):
then after that, if you want,you can go through and like make
it a nicer draft and then, ifyou can like keep refining it if
you want.
I do find that typically ittakes about two to three times
of retelling it to really startto kind of feel the weight
lifted off of your shoulders.
And another really cool way todo this is with your husband,
(21:02):
where you get it from like hetells the story from his
perspective, because that canalso give you a different idea
of like oh, I didn't rememberthat that happened, or like I
didn't remember that thathappened, or like I didn't
realize that you did this.
So it can just be helpful toget that different experience as
well.
But again, just get it out inwhatever way.
You can.
(21:22):
Scribble it, write it out insentences, whatever you can do,
just to get it out.
Sheila Nonato (21:31):
And then you can always go back and redo it after
.
And so when I'm writing thisdown and then so I invite my
husband because yeah, he wasthere, so I invite him do I
invite him to write his versiondown, and then we read it out
loud, or whatever we'recomfortable with, I guess.
Brigid Tebaldi (21:46):
Yeah, it's really individualized, so it's
whatever you are comfortablewith.
I have actually had husbandscome on sessions with me and
clients before, because it wesometimes forget to that if we
did go through something reallychallenging or traumatic, that
the husbands were typicallythere as well and they were
(22:07):
experiencing a different side ofthings too well, and they were
experiencing a different side ofthings too.
So, for example, one of myclient past clients like
expressed how she was takenafter birth and like put into an
OR just in case, and herhusband was left with the
newborn baby and so from hisside of things, he he didn't
know what was happening, so hejust had to stay strong and be
(22:29):
like, okay, I got this,everything's good.
But then after that, like henever had the opportunity to ask
questions or to be like why didthis happen?
Or to express how he felt, andwhich is hard for guys to do
sometimes, but it is importantbecause they can also store
those feelings.
So, yeah, it's reallyindividualized, whatever you're
comfortable with.
Again, sometimes husbands comeon session, sometimes it's just
(22:50):
a matter of like him reading itto you.
So it's whatever it works foryour relationship.
Sheila Nonato (22:56):
I guess we forget well, some people forget that
the husband also experiences,not the same thing, but he also
goes through some kind oftransformation.
He becomes a father, similar tohow the baby.
I also heard that the baby alsogoes through you know, their
own not trauma, but it's a big.
It's a big thing for them to gothrough the birth canal and all
(23:19):
that.
So they're also processinginformation and experiences and
so it's kind of a sharedexperience of a family becoming
transformed together.
And I love that you'reincluding the husbands, because
we sometimes forget well, formyself, sometimes forget oh yeah
, you know what.
He was there, not that I did.
Co-host (23:40):
I forgot.
Sheila Nonato (23:41):
But I sometimes get focused on, "oh it's poor me
, like this is what happened tome.
But you know, like you knowwhat, he's there and I can rely
on him as a support person, justas when he was there during the
birth, just as the doula wasthere, and it's great to.
You know, sometimes my husbandalso helps me with.
(24:01):
You know, in your document youmentioned reframing negative
experiences.
So he does help me do thisbecause sometimes we, you know,
we forget just in the everythinghappening during birth.
We forget, well, we forget justin the everything happening
during birth.
We forget, well, I forget somecertain key things that happened
.
And then he reassures me youknow what this actually, you
know this actually happened.
You know you don't have toworry about that.
Tell me about reframing, how doyou?
(24:23):
You know, if sometimes, when weare caught up in a cycle of,
let's say, negativity, or youknow we, we didn't have the
perfect experience, birthexperience that we wanted, we're
caught in this cycle but it'shard to get out of that, how do
we reframe?
What kind of words ofaffirmation or change in mindset
(24:43):
?
How can we do that?
Brigid Tebaldi (24:45):
Yeah.
So affirmations are huge and Iknow that some of this is like
in today's world, unfortunatelyit's sort of like woo woo.
But I just want to assure youthat you can do this in a very
like Christ centered, inalignment with the church way.
So with affirmations, it'sthings just that you can say to
(25:06):
yourself and this is again veryindividualized that we go
through, and it's like youfigure out what works best for
you.
But saying things like I didwhat I thought was best in the
moment, or I am strong andcapable, or my body is amazing,
or I am a good mom Just sayingthings like that and having
sticky notes around, if that'syour thing, or listening to them
(25:26):
there's a few apps you can usewhere you can record them and
it'll play it back to you with,like, pretty music in the
background.
Whatever it is that works bestfor you, whether it's seeing it,
hearing it, writing it outthose sorts of things are really
important because those go intoyour brain, your brain
processes them and then thosebecome your thoughts.
So if you keep thinking toyourself, my body is amazing, my
(25:47):
body is amazing, and you tellyourself that every day,
multiple times a day, eventuallyyou will start to believe that.
Or like "I am strong andcapable, I am strong and capable
Same thing.
Eventually it might not feellike it, but eventually you will
start to believe it because youjust tell yourself that over
and over and over again.
We want to tell ourselves nicethings.
(26:07):
Right, because God doesn't wantus to be mean to ourselves, he
doesn't want us to be mean toeach other.
It's in the Bible.
He wants us to love ourselvesand our neighbor as ourselves.
So affirmations are really,really big.
Again, I'm a big fan of stickynotes, so I have sticky notes
everywhere just to remind myself.
But really finding what worksbest for you is what you need to
(26:28):
do.
Sheila Nonato (26:30):
Yes, beautiful works best for you is what you
need to do.
Yes, beautiful.
And I love when, when I wasgoing through the whole birthing
experience, I liked I like tolook at, yeah, scripture
passages and particularly Ireally liked, you know, I can do
all things through Christ, whostrengthens me, because it it
helped me to take the burden offof.
I got to do this myself, youknow, take the burden off of.
(26:53):
I got to do this myself, youknow.
You know me, it's all on me.
I got to eat, right, you know Igot to exercise.
You know all the things.
Yeah, I got to get the perfectnursery, the, you know, organic
baby clothes, like I don't knowall the things that you know we
got to get everything perfect.
But the other thing that helped,was comforting to me, was it's
okay that it didn't go the way Iwanted.
It's okay.
It's okay Things didn't go theway I planned and and Jesus can
(27:18):
come and and rescue me.
Pretty much that was it.
Is that?
Yeah, it's, it's okay to let goof, you know, a dream of a
perfect birth, because you knowa perfect birth it's.
I don't know if that's evenattainable.
I mean, like you said it'sprobably Mother Mary who had
that and it's probably nothelpful, right, because things
(27:39):
can happen in the spur of amoment and we sort of have to
learn to adapt.
And I'm just leading intofoundation number three renewing
your spirit.
So you write.
Renewing your spirit involvesreconnecting with your inner
self and deepening yourrelationship with God.
Can you tell me please?
You know you mentioned herepractical steps for integrating
(28:00):
faith into your healing journey.
You mentioned daily devotionsand gratitude practice.
Did you want to speak on one orboth of those?
Brigid Tebaldi (28:09):
Yeah.
So we kind of already touchedon the gratitude practice and
again, that's just one thingthat I try to have everybody do,
because it's not only greatjust for when you're going
through the healing experience,but it's just great in general
right To be like I'm so thankful, even if things are crazy, like
find something that you can bethankful for.
(28:29):
There's always something,whether that's just life itself.
So, with the daily devotions,the reason that I put this in
here is because a lot of times,whenever we're going through a
really difficult situation, it'sreally easy for us to just like
draw inward and be like I haveto fix this, I have to be the
(28:49):
one who's taking care ofeverything.
But when, in reality, that'swhenever, if we need to heal,
that's when we need more peoplemore than ever, right, so it's
like could you heal on your own?
Yes, however, god calls us tolive in community with one
another, and he wants us to askfor help because, also, we never
(29:10):
know whenever our experience isgoing to help somebody else.
So that's another thing to thinkabout is maybe he had you go
through this so that eventuallyyou can help counsel somebody
else who's going through it ormaybe help prevent them from
going through it.
So, with this idea of dailydevotions, it's just a matter of
the way like you ask for helpwithin your community, but then
(29:32):
also you set aside time to gointo prayer so that you can also
ask for help from the saints sothat they can pray for you, or
you can ask for help from theBlessed Mother so that she can
pray and ask for intercession.
So going through and justhaving that time so that you can
sit and just feel the communityof the church is going to be
(29:55):
vital.
Because, again, without healingand community, first, it's
going to take a lot longer.
And then, second, who wants tojust do everything by themselves
, like talking to people, beingaround people Even if you're an
introvert like you do crave thatsometimes being around people
even if you're an introvert likeyou do crave that sometimes.
So healing and community isreally important and you want to
(30:15):
get that in person, but thenyou also want to get all the
saints to rally with you and toask God for intercession and,
again, ask the blessed motherfor her help as well.
Sheila Nonato (30:25):
Yes, absolutely, and you had touched upon
resilience through community.
That's one of the titles infoundation.
Number three is how you werementioning the crucial role that
that plays in the healingjourney.
Handle it.
You know what?
What are some signs that youknow we, we might need extra
support, maybe professional,seek medical help, or from a
(30:52):
professional.
What kind of signs you know?
Let's say it's a new mother,brand new baby signs that we
should seek some help.
Brigid Tebaldi (31:01):
Yeah, so a big one is that.
And again, I'm not a licensedtherapist, so that's one thing
that I always tell clients isthat if you are experiencing any
sort of severe anxiety, severedepression, like rage, that you
can't have a control overobviously sometimes we just all
get mad and like say things weshouldn't say, but it's like
(31:23):
severe or if you're havingreally negative, dark thoughts,
then you should seek help, andthat is actually a really great
sign of strength.
Dark thoughts then you shouldseek help, and that is actually
a really great sign of strength.
Even just thinking like I needhelp, that is your brain and
your body telling you and likebegging you to ask for help.
And it's really hard to takethat step and be like I need to
(31:44):
find somebody who can help methrough this, but it's really
really important to, because ifyou can't, if you don't heal,
that's going to have a rippledown effect throughout your
entire, like all yourrelationships and you.
And God wants you to heal, hewants you to be happy, he wants
you to enjoy your life, likethat's why he made us and then a
(32:04):
lot of the clients that I workwith they are able to, they're
like able to do everything thatthey normally would do, but
there's just this like lingering, like whether it's fear of the
next pregnancy, like they'rescared to get pregnant because
they don't want the birthexperience to happen again, or
whether they have just this liketightness in their chest
(32:26):
whenever they think about goingthrough labor again, have just
this like tightness in theirchest whenever they think about
going through labor again Again.
They just have this feeling oflike oh, I just don't want to do
that, or like I want more kids,but I'm really, really scared
to.
So.
Whether it's a matter of justagain, even if you have this
little thought in your head likeI wish I could talk to somebody
about this or I just need alittle bit of help If you're
(32:48):
having any of those sorts ofthoughts, then I would really
encourage you to reach out tosomebody, even if it's just like
your friend.
Talk to somebody and then fromthere you can figure out what
the path is that you need totake, whether it is seeing like
a licensed therapist or whetherit's just having conversations
through sessions with somebodylike me.
Taking that first step andacknowledging that you even
(33:11):
desire help is going to be likethe best thing that you can ever
do for yourself and your family.
Yes, absolutely, and can youtell us you're running a
workshop tonight, what is theworkshop and how you're going to
be running it again, I supposeif you can tell us a little bit
about that and people can go toyour website to to look for more
information, yeah, so tonightI'm doing and this is August
(33:35):
29th, so you'll probably won'tbe able to attend but yeah, so
tonight I'm running the birthredemption blueprint, and the
reason I call it that is becausethese are actually five steps
that I have like in my programthat I've taken out and it will
help you heal your heart,rewrite your story, prepare for
next time we go throughacknowledging your birth
(33:57):
experience, releasing emotionalburdens, reclaiming your body,
reframing your narrative andrestoring your confidence.
So this is a really greatwebinar to attend.
If, again, you're having anysort of just like tug on your
heart like oh, I didn't likewhat I experienced or I want
something more next time Now'sthe time to start practicing for
that.
So again, it's just a matter ofreally just acknowledging your
(34:22):
feelings and going through, andif you want to join, I would
love to see you there.
We have over 25 women signed up, which is amazing because again
they just take that first step,but then again I will be
running it in the future.
Um, because again it's just,it's great.
We need to heal in communityand it's literally part of my
(34:43):
program.
So if you love this, thenyou'll love working with me even
more.
Sheila Nonato (34:47):
Amazing.
Was there anything else youwanted to add?
Where can people reach you?
Find you.
Brigid Tebaldi (34:55):
Yeah, so I would just love to chat with anybody
who is feeling just that littlenudge on their heart of like
something needs to change, orjust like I want more, because
God made you for more.
He wants you to enjoy yourexperience here on earth.
He wants you to become a saint,and the way that you do that is
, again, by trying to stay incommunion with him as best we
(35:16):
can we're all sinners but bystaying in communion with him
and just really appreciatingwhat he gives us and trying to
work so that we can betterourselves, better our family,
better the world.
So, yeah, if you have any justnudge on your heart for that,
please just reach out to me.
I'd love to chat with you.
I offer a free coaching sessionIf you wanted to just chat
about anything motherhood, itdoesn't have to be birth and
(35:38):
yeah, I would just love to haveyou reach out and connect.
Sheila Nonato (35:43):
And what is your website and social media?
Brigid Tebaldi (35:52):
Yeah, so the website is www.
lorettowellness.
com and that's spelled L O R E TO Wellness, and then I'm on
Instagram and that is just@loreto wellness.
Again it's L O R E T O Wellness.
And again, I would love to haveyou reach out.
You can send me a voice memo orwhatever works best for you so
we can really learn more aboutyour story and help you get to
where you want to go.
Sheila Nonato (36:13):
Thank you so much for joining us.
You're you're in Wilmington,Pennsylvania, correct.
Brigid Tebaldi (36:17):
Yes, I'm in a little Amish town of
Pennsylvania.
Sheila Nonato (36:20):
Awesome.
Yeah, my husband and I well,mostly my husband was driving we
drove to Washington and we hadto pass through Pennsylvania,
beautiful state.
We drove to Washington and wehad to pass through Pennsylvania
Beautiful state.
Yeah, it's nice for sure.
Yeah, that is awesome.
Thank you so much again forjoining us.
I appreciate hearing all thetips, especially the ones that
(36:40):
involve prayer and relying uponGod to help us to heal from
trauma after birth.
So I really appreciate yourtime and hopefully see you again
.
Brigid Tebaldi (36:54):
Yeah, sounds good.
Thanks so much for having meand again, if anybody needs
anything, please don't hesitateto reach out.
Sheila Nonato (36:59):
Awesome.
Have a blessed day you too, andI love that your son was there
while you were doing thisinterview.
You have to, you have to, youhave to keep going right.
We bring our children with usbecause they're part of us.
Yeah, absolutely, thank you somuch.
God bless, Take care Bye.
Co-host (37:21):
If you like our podcast , please like, share and
subscribe.
You can also leave us a commentand a review, please.
We'd love to hear from you.
Sheila Nonato (37:37):
Thank you, Brigid Tebaldi.
We just celebrated the month ofSeptember dedicated to Our Lady
of Seven Sorrows.
We see Our Lady's example ofsuffering and can relate to the
wound of a mother's heart.
May those who need healing findthe help that you need and
deserve so that you may continueto fulfill your irreplaceable
(37:59):
and incomparable vocation aswives and mothers.
We look forward to celebratingthe month of the Holy Rosary
next week and we have somethingspecial for our podcast in
preparation for that mostspecial month.
Thank you again for tuning inand, God bless, have a Blessed
week.
Thank you for listening to theVeil and Armour podcast.
Co-host (38:21):
I invite you to share this with another Catholic mom
today.
Please subscribe to our podcastand YouTube channel and please
spread the word.
Let's Be Brave, let's Be Boldand Be Blessed together.
Hello and Welcome to the Veil and Armour podcast.
This is your host, SheilaNonato.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and afreelance Catholic journalist,
Seeking the guidance of the HolySpirit and the inspiration of
Our Lady.
I strive to tell stories thatinspire, illuminate and enrich
the lives of Catholic women, tohelp them in living out our
vocation of raising the nextgeneration of leaders and saints
(00:27):
.
Co-host (00:27):
Please join us every week on the Veil and Armour
podcast, where stories comealive through a journalist's
lens and mother's heart.
Sheila Nonato (00:39):
Welcome to this week's episode of Veil and
Armour, where we will be lookingahead at the month of the Holy
Rosary in October.
Our guest this week is BrigidTebaldi, a certified women's
health coach specializing inhelping women heal from trauma
after birth.
Brigid was inspired to begincoaching women in their journey
towards a holistic andChrist-centered healing after a
(01:01):
traumatic birth experience, andher inspiration came after
praying the rosary with herfamily and praying the litany of
Our Lady of Loreto.
Let's Brigid's story story.
Welcome, Brigid, to Veil andArmour.
Thank you for joining us todayand we're honoured to have you
here.
Can we start off with a prayer,please?
Yes, please.
Brigid Tebaldi (01:22):
Okay.
Sheila Nonato (01:22):
Did you want to lead or Sure I?
Brigid Tebaldi (01:24):
can?
Yeah, okay, yes, please, okay.
Did you want to lead, or sure Ican?
Yeah, okay, yeah, sure, okay,all right, In the Name of the
Father and of the Son of theHoly Spirit.
Amen.
Hail mary, Full of Grace, theLord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and blessed is the fruit of thy
womb, jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, Prayfor us sinners, now and at the
hour of our death.
Amen, Father and the Son andthe Holy Spirit.
(01:47):
Amen.
Sheila Nonato (01:48):
Thank you very much for that.
I think it's very appropriateto start off with that, since
we're going to be talking aboutmotherhood and, specifically,
birthing and the experience ofbirthing.
Sometimes it is not as peaceful, but I just want to introduce
you first to our listeners andviewers.
So you're a wife and mother offive dedicated to guiding
mothers through their birthjourney with grace and strength.
(02:11):
Brigid champions holistic,joyful birthing experiences,
encouraging women to honor theirmaternal instincts and embrace
divine guidance.
She is a certified women'shealth coach from the
Integrative Women HealthInstitute and an experienced
fertility awareness coach.
Brigid specializes in helpingwomen heal from birth trauma and
reclaim their inner peace.
(02:32):
Her compassionate approach aidsmothers in processing difficult
experiences, fosteringresilience and cultivating a
stronger sense of self.
When she's not supportingmothers, Brigid cherishes
moments with her family on theirfarm, whether it's watching her
children ride bikes, playingwith their horses or losing
herself in a good book.
Welcome, Brigid.
(02:53):
So tell us first the nameLoreto Wellness.
You were mentioning.
It has something to do with OurLady.
Brigid Tebaldi (03:03):
Yes, definitely.
So this business was somethingthat was on my heart for a long
time, but I had no idea anythingabout it, like I didn't.
I just knew that, like I wasbeing called to do something.
And one day I remember likevividly I was sitting in a joke,
it's like my prayer chair.
I was sitting in my prayer chair, we were saying our Rosary
(03:26):
chair, we were saying our rosaryand we finished up with the
Litany of Loreto after that,which we do sometimes,
especially if we do, like the 54day Novena.
And so we were saying it and Igot to the point in the litany
when it said cause of our joy,and all of a sudden it was just
like oh, I'm supposed to name itLoretto Wellness, because mary
found, like her sainthood, whichshe already had, but she became
(03:47):
the mother of God by doing suchbasic things, even as a child,
where she was helping, she wasserving willingly, she folded
laundry, she washed floors, madefood, did everything like that.
And again, she did it with suchthis reverent heart.
And that's just what we asmothers are called to do,
(04:10):
however imperfectly we do it Iknow I definitely do Again,
we're just called to live likeher.
So the idea that we can imitateher through this litany of
Loretto again just becomingsaints in the simplest ways in
our homes really resonated withme.
Sheila Nonato (04:29):
Wow.
I love the connection and howit has blossomed into a business
helping other mothers.
So in terms of, I guess, thebirthing experience, everyone
has their unique birthingexperience but I guess people
can have the idea of a perfectbirth.
Right, tell me about is theresuch a thing and how do we
change our mindset about that sothat it can help us sort of
(04:54):
manage our expectations aboutour birthing experience?
Is there a perfect birth?
Brigid Tebaldi (05:09):
Yeah, so theoretically there might be.
But no, because in birth youcan.
You can set yourself upperfectly Like you can do all
the education, you can have allthe knowledge, you can eat all
the good foods, do all the rightexercise, but you can't control
everything.
It's just like life, right?
So if you have just think of achild, like you can have that
child do everything right mostof the time and thinking that
they're going to turn out,they're going to be perfect all
(05:31):
the time, and kids are kids arenever perfect all the time, even
if you like attempt to be thebest all the time.
But the same as with birth again, you can set yourself up for
perfection and it's never goingto happen because we're a fallen
people and, um, it's just.
Things can happen.
(05:51):
That doesn't mean that youcan't have beautiful, wonderful
births, but is there ever suchthing as a perfect birth?
I think the only perfect birthwas probably the birth of Jesus,
because Mary is the onlyperfect or like, sinless person
aside from Jesus.
So we can definitely havebeautiful, wonderful, amazing
births, for sure, and like I'vehad them, so like I'm saying
(06:13):
that from experience.
But we cannot controleverything and that's one of the
big things that we need tolearn is that, again, we can't
control everything, so all wecan do is surrender, try our
best and, again, just put it allin God's hands.
Sheila Nonato (06:32):
Yes, the surrender and putting it in
God's hands that sometimes thatis difficult, because for myself
I'm talking about myself I liketo control, I like to oh, yes,
I got to direct everything, butyou know I'm I got to direct
everything, but you know, I'mjust speaking from experience
here, so hopefully it can helpother mothers as well.
I did have yeah, I did havethat perfect idea of birth.
(06:52):
I did suffer a loss, so I wasvery conscious of everything.
So I did have a birth plan, Ihad a doula, I did have an OB as
well, and I thought, okay,everything's set.
I was, only I was eating a lotof kale.
It was that time when peoplewere saying kale is the new beef
(07:13):
.
Anyway, I, you know so, butthings happened in a way I
didn't expect I did.
I did manage to be able to sortof exert my my agency, I guess,
in terms of what I wanted interms of medications, so I was
able to have quote unquote anatural birth.
It was hard, though, andpainful, and things did not go
(07:35):
as well.
I was sometimes not able toraise my voice about certain
things.
So I'm looking at your websiteand the brochure about certain
things.
So I'm looking at your websiteand the brochure do you call it
a brochure?
Sort of a blueprint, I wouldsay from pain to peace.
Now there are these steps andthe foundation.
The first foundation is embraceyour emotions.
So why is it important?
(07:57):
Because when I, when I wasexperiencing it, I was
experiencing a lot of emotions,to be honest, because after
birth, right it's, it's a's, ait's, it's a whole new
experience.
It, you know, it's somethingyou've never.
If it's your first time as afirst-time mother, it's
something you've neverexperienced.
And so there are all theseconflicting emotions, but in the
foundation, your firstfoundation, you recommend we
(08:19):
embrace our emotions.
Why is that so important?
Brigid Tebaldi (08:23):
Yeah.
So, and this is embrace thisdocument that we're speaking of
specifically is to for those ofyou who may have had a difficult
birth experience, and itdoesn't even have to be like a
super traumatic one, but againlike, if things happen that you
were like I didn't want that orsomething like that.
That is who this is for, andthe importance of embracing your
(08:44):
emotions Sorry, if you'rehearing Hugo right now.
He wanted to say something, nota problem.
The importance of embracing youremotions comes from the fact
that if you don't acknowledgewhat has happened to you or what
you did experience in thatmoment, things are just going to
keep spiraling.
So if you just kind of shut thedoor to it and are like it was
(09:06):
fine and my baby's healthy, it'sfine, you never know whenever
that closet that you just shovedfull of stuff is going to break
open, right.
So it's super, super importantfor you to go through those
emotions again, which is superhard, but it's really important,
(09:26):
and it's important to do thatwith somebody, because what that
person will do, if they havethis skill, is they will
validate what it is that youwent through in this way.
That doesn't make you themartyr or, like the practitioner
, this terrible person.
They just validate what it isthat you felt.
So, whether that is like you'refeeling anger, shame, guilt,
(09:49):
whatever they can reflect thatback to you in a way that you
can be like, oh, maybe Ishouldn't.
Like, yeah, those things, Ifelt that, but maybe I don't
need to actually feel that way,like maybe I can reframe it so
that I can see the good in it.
So it's not that you'reforgetting what you felt, but
again, it's just acknowledgingwhat you felt, whatever those
(10:11):
emotions might be, recognizingand validating them and then
figuring out, using theseChrist-centered strategies to
help you understand why Godallowed you to feel those things
.
So, again, it's just a littlebit of a different way of
thinking about it, but it'sreally important because, again,
if you just shut the shove,them all in a closet, you never
know whenever they're going tojust spill out versus if you
(10:33):
take the time to unpack and topack in a way that's going to be
helpful and that allows yourbrain to process these things,
it's going to pay off so muchbetter in the future.
Sheila Nonato (10:47):
Yes, and it's.
I love how you, in yourdocument, you had you know,
specifically for Christian women, for God-fearing women, that
there are these, as youmentioned, christ-centered
coping strategies, that you hadprayers for emotional healing.
You also have scripturepassages for comfort and then
you have techniques for usingprayer and meditation.
(11:09):
Can you tell me a little bit?
You mentioned three thingsdaily prayer, deep breathing and
gratitude journaling.
Can you give us some tips for amother who you know?
Let's say, yeah, she has gonethrough something.
Maybe it's recent, maybe it'syears ago, but it's still
lingering.
How do these three thingsprayer, breathing, gratitude
(11:31):
journaling how will this help usand what's a practical way to
approach this?
Brigid Tebaldi (11:37):
Yeah I want to touch on.
I'm going to actually go to thepoint where you said whether it
was years ago, because twoweeks ago I had a conversation
with a mom whose daughter was 22years old and the mom came to
me because she said she wasstill feeling the effects of it
and she just like she couldn'tput words to it, but she was
like just something isn't rightand every time I think about it
I just keep going back to likeher daughter's birthday.
(11:59):
So we kind of unpacked it alittle bit.
And that's exactly what I'mtalking about, where it's like
if you don't process whathappened, it will just, as you
know, like your body holds thescore right, so it's just going
to keep compounding andcompounding and compounding
until finally one day yourbody's like I can't have this
much trauma and stress stored inmy body anymore and I need to
(12:22):
get rid of it.
And if you do it in a healthyway, that's awesome, that's
going to increase your brain'sresilience, that's going to
again improve relationships.
But if you do it in anunhealthy way to release it, you
never know what might come fromthat.
So, as far as the threetechniques, daily prayer is
obviously essential becausehaving our relationship with God
(12:45):
is going to again.
If you're coming and listeningto this podcast and assuming
that you love Jesus and havingthat relationship is so vital,
because, if you think about it,if you ever have a relationship
with somebody and you never talkto them, and then maybe like
once a year, you're like, hey,how are you?
And then it's kind of awkwardbecause you're like, oh, I'm
(13:05):
good, but I've been waiting foryou to call me, or I tried to
call you and you never returnedmy calls.
And then you're like, oh right,so it's vital to keep that
steady line of communication sothat you can tell God what
you're feeling.
He can help you manage emotionsand go through different
situations.
And this doesn't have to belike a set aside, an hour or
(13:28):
anything.
If you can, that is awesome.
I personally just know that Ican't seem to get that done with
five kids.
I would love to, but I justcan't seem to find one hour
where I can.
Even if I wake up at five,somehow everybody knows that I'm
awake and then they all wake upwith me.
So what I do is I take littlepockets of time throughout the
day where, say, I'm washingdishes.
(13:49):
As I'm washing dishes, I justtalk to God or if I'm I don't
know, getting the baby to sleepinstead of scrolling my phone,
which I admittedly still do.
I try to pray a little bitbeforehand.
So just little pockets like thatare really great so that you
can enter into that relationship, so that every day, multiple
(14:09):
times a day, you're just keepingthat communication line open
and having chats brain, whichthen, if your brain gets oxygen,
everything just works better,versus if you're taking like
(14:30):
shorter, more shallow breaths,you're not getting that really
deep oxygen up into your brainand then that leads to a whole
cascade of other things thataren't going to function well as
in addition to that.
So by breathing and feelingyour chest open up, feeling your
belly expand as you take abreath, that's going to really
again allow you that space, evenif it just takes a second or
(14:53):
two, it's going to allow youthat space to just be present in
the moment.
So, again, just taking thatdeep breath and then exhaling,
it's one or two seconds, but youhave all of the physiological
effects that happen with againthe oxygen increase and
everything like that, but thenyou also just have that space
and the mental and emotionalbreak so that you can reset for
(15:16):
that second or two.
And then the last one, thegratitude journaling.
This one is really importantand it doesn't have to be like
you actually sit down with ajournal.
Important and it doesn't haveto be like you actually sit down
with a journal.
This could just be like send avoice note to somebody or use
voice to text to just get it out, where it's like you just find
something that you're gratefulfor, whether that be in your
life, whether that be about yourbody, whatever it is, and it
(15:39):
could be something little Like.
I think the example I gave Igave a lot is if it's really
hard for you to like, look atyour C-section scar or to think
about anything around, likenursing babies or anything like
that, find something that's notrelated at all.
So I always say, like your pinkytoe or something, or like
something so small like that,where you can just be like thank
(16:03):
you for my pinky I don't knowpinky toe, because it helps me
balance, or whatever it is.
Just make some, make somethingthat's so little feel more
significant, because theneventually you can work your way
up and then eventually you'llget to again, I'll just say,
your C-section scar where youcan be thankful that you had
that experience and that youwent through that, because it's
(16:24):
made you a stronger and moreresilient person today.
So those three things arereally great that you should do
every single day, regardless ofif you've had a bad birth
experience or not.
Doing those three things everysingle day is great because,
again, it helps foster thatrelationship with God.
It helps you physiologicallyjust stay centered and stay
breathing, which is great, andthen just feeling that you start
(16:48):
to change your mindset.
Instead of seeing the negatives, you start to see the positives
and everything.
Sheila Nonato (16:53):
Yes, I love that phrase when you were saying
resilience, developingresilience, and how birthing is
a transformational experience,whether you've had a good one,
not so great or could be better.
I'm thinking about Japanesepotteries when something's
broken, they do put it together,but then they get gold paint
(17:14):
and they paint the cracks toshow and symbolize.
I guess that this is not thesame pottery.
It's actually new and improved.
Even though it was broken, it'sbecome, transformed into
actually something beautiful.
And I feel like this is whatyou're helping women to do is,
if they've had some kind oftrauma in their birth experience
(17:35):
, that they can through Christ,as Christ has shown us through
the cross, we can have sort of aredemption story to our story
of trauma, that we can transformthat.
If you can talk about thefoundation, the second
foundation, of reclaiming yourbirth story, what does that
entail?
How do we do that?
Brigid Tebaldi (17:55):
Yeah, so for this step.
And again, this document islike a primer to what I go
through in my actual sessions.
So if this interests you at all, let me know, Because again we
go through way sessions.
So if this interests you at all, let me know, because again we
go through way way more, waymore exercises.
But again, reclaiming your storyis really important because a
lot of times women come to meand they'll say like I felt,
(18:16):
like things were done to me thatI didn't want done, or I had no
idea what was happening, orjust that you felt like things
were out of control.
I hear those words a lot andthe point of reclaiming your
story is to remember that thisbirth experience is about you
and your baby and while it'sokay to accept help if you just
(18:37):
like, if that's what you desireor if you do need additional
support, it's important toremember that this is about you
and this is such atransformational time.
So by going through and doingthese different journaling
exercises, it really helps toremember that you are centered
and also that God is centered inthat experience as well, and a
(19:01):
lot of times we forget that Godis with us in those difficult
moments.
God is with us in thosedifficult moments.
So I have clients go throughthis, a few different exercises
so that they can help see whereJesus was or where Mary was in
their story, and that just helpsto.
Again, it doesn't make thisstory, the story go away or it
doesn't change how things went,but it just helps your brain
(19:22):
reframe it so that, instead ofbeing this really scary,
traumatic, challenging,difficult experience, it
reframes it.
So that, instead of being thisreally scary, traumatic,
challenging, difficultexperience, it reframes it so
that you can see that, yes,maybe things happened that you
didn't want, or maybe youconsented to something that you
didn't actually want to consentto, but it helps you see that
God was there with you and that,even though that happened, he
(19:43):
will bring good from it yes,absolutely, and I'm just looking
at, um, this beautiful document, you prepared journaling steps.
Sheila Nonato (19:54):
So for people who are, you know, who are not used
to journaling, right, they,they mean, they they're not sure
, how do you?
How do you do this?
And I'm also a little bitafraid to write things down.
How do how do I get over sortof this fear or anxiety about
writing something down?
That is very painful?
Um, how sort of, yeah, thefirst step.
How, writing something downthat is very painful.
How, yeah, the first step.
How do I do that?
(20:15):
What do I write down?
Brigid Tebaldi (20:18):
Yeah, so this can take a few different drafts.
So the first time you do thisit could be messy, it doesn't
matter, just write whatever itis down.
It doesn't have to be incomplete sentences, it can just
be like you want to draw it,draw it If you have different
emotions you want to attach toit.
Attach it.
Just get it out in whatevermedium feels good to you and
(20:40):
then after that, if you want,you can go through and like make
it a nicer draft and then, ifyou can like keep refining it if
you want.
I do find that typically ittakes about two to three times
of retelling it to really startto kind of feel the weight
lifted off of your shoulders.
And another really cool way todo this is with your husband,
(21:02):
where you get it from like hetells the story from his
perspective, because that canalso give you a different idea
of like oh, I didn't rememberthat that happened, or like I
didn't remember that thathappened, or like I didn't
realize that you did this.
So it can just be helpful toget that different experience as
well.
But again, just get it out inwhatever way.
You can.
(21:22):
Scribble it, write it out insentences, whatever you can do,
just to get it out.
Sheila Nonato (21:31):
And then you can always go back and redo it after
.
And so when I'm writing thisdown and then so I invite my
husband because yeah, he wasthere, so I invite him do I
invite him to write his versiondown, and then we read it out
loud, or whatever we'recomfortable with, I guess.
Brigid Tebaldi (21:46):
Yeah, it's really individualized, so it's
whatever you are comfortablewith.
I have actually had husbandscome on sessions with me and
clients before, because it wesometimes forget to that if we
did go through something reallychallenging or traumatic, that
the husbands were typicallythere as well and they were
(22:07):
experiencing a different side ofthings too well, and they were
experiencing a different side ofthings too.
So, for example, one of myclient past clients like
expressed how she was takenafter birth and like put into an
OR just in case, and herhusband was left with the
newborn baby and so from hisside of things, he he didn't
know what was happening, so hejust had to stay strong and be
(22:29):
like, okay, I got this,everything's good.
But then after that, like henever had the opportunity to ask
questions or to be like why didthis happen?
Or to express how he felt, andwhich is hard for guys to do
sometimes, but it is importantbecause they can also store
those feelings.
So, yeah, it's reallyindividualized, whatever you're
comfortable with.
Again, sometimes husbands comeon session, sometimes it's just
(22:50):
a matter of like him reading itto you.
So it's whatever it works foryour relationship.
Sheila Nonato (22:56):
I guess we forget well, some people forget that
the husband also experiences,not the same thing, but he also
goes through some kind oftransformation.
He becomes a father, similar tohow the baby.
I also heard that the baby alsogoes through you know, their
own not trauma, but it's a big.
It's a big thing for them to gothrough the birth canal and all
(23:19):
that.
So they're also processinginformation and experiences and
so it's kind of a sharedexperience of a family becoming
transformed together.
And I love that you'reincluding the husbands, because
we sometimes forget well, formyself, sometimes forget oh yeah
, you know what.
He was there, not that I did.
Co-host (23:40):
I forgot.
Sheila Nonato (23:41):
But I sometimes get focused on, "oh it's poor me
, like this is what happened tome.
But you know, like you knowwhat, he's there and I can rely
on him as a support person, justas when he was there during the
birth, just as the doula wasthere, and it's great to.
You know, sometimes my husbandalso helps me with.
(24:01):
You know, in your document youmentioned reframing negative
experiences.
So he does help me do thisbecause sometimes we, you know,
we forget just in the everythinghappening during birth.
We forget, well, we forget justin the everything happening
during birth.
We forget, well, I forget somecertain key things that happened
.
And then he reassures me youknow what this actually, you
know this actually happened.
You know you don't have toworry about that.
Tell me about reframing, how doyou?
(24:23):
You know, if sometimes, when weare caught up in a cycle of,
let's say, negativity, or youknow we, we didn't have the
perfect experience, birthexperience that we wanted, we're
caught in this cycle but it'shard to get out of that, how do
we reframe?
What kind of words ofaffirmation or change in mindset
(24:43):
?
How can we do that?
Brigid Tebaldi (24:45):
Yeah.
So affirmations are huge and Iknow that some of this is like
in today's world, unfortunatelyit's sort of like woo woo.
But I just want to assure youthat you can do this in a very
like Christ centered, inalignment with the church way.
So with affirmations, it'sthings just that you can say to
(25:06):
yourself and this is again veryindividualized that we go
through, and it's like youfigure out what works best for
you.
But saying things like I didwhat I thought was best in the
moment, or I am strong andcapable, or my body is amazing,
or I am a good mom Just sayingthings like that and having
sticky notes around, if that'syour thing, or listening to them
(25:26):
there's a few apps you can usewhere you can record them and
it'll play it back to you with,like, pretty music in the
background.
Whatever it is that works bestfor you, whether it's seeing it,
hearing it, writing it outthose sorts of things are really
important because those go intoyour brain, your brain
processes them and then thosebecome your thoughts.
So if you keep thinking toyourself, my body is amazing, my
(25:47):
body is amazing, and you tellyourself that every day,
multiple times a day, eventuallyyou will start to believe that.
Or like "I am strong andcapable, I am strong and capable
Same thing.
Eventually it might not feellike it, but eventually you will
start to believe it because youjust tell yourself that over
and over and over again.
We want to tell ourselves nicethings.
(26:07):
Right, because God doesn't wantus to be mean to ourselves, he
doesn't want us to be mean toeach other.
It's in the Bible.
He wants us to love ourselvesand our neighbor as ourselves.
So affirmations are really,really big.
Again, I'm a big fan of stickynotes, so I have sticky notes
everywhere just to remind myself.
But really finding what worksbest for you is what you need to
(26:28):
do.
Sheila Nonato (26:30):
Yes, beautiful works best for you is what you
need to do.
Yes, beautiful.
And I love when, when I wasgoing through the whole birthing
experience, I liked I like tolook at, yeah, scripture
passages and particularly Ireally liked, you know, I can do
all things through Christ, whostrengthens me, because it it
helped me to take the burden offof.
I got to do this myself, youknow, take the burden off of.
(26:53):
I got to do this myself, youknow.
You know me, it's all on me.
I got to eat, right, you know Igot to exercise.
You know all the things.
Yeah, I got to get the perfectnursery, the, you know, organic
baby clothes, like I don't knowall the things that you know we
got to get everything perfect.
But the other thing that helped,was comforting to me, was it's
okay that it didn't go the way Iwanted.
It's okay.
It's okay Things didn't go theway I planned and and Jesus can
(27:18):
come and and rescue me.
Pretty much that was it.
Is that?
Yeah, it's, it's okay to let goof, you know, a dream of a
perfect birth, because you knowa perfect birth it's.
I don't know if that's evenattainable.
I mean, like you said it'sprobably Mother Mary who had
that and it's probably nothelpful, right, because things
(27:39):
can happen in the spur of amoment and we sort of have to
learn to adapt.
And I'm just leading intofoundation number three renewing
your spirit.
So you write.
Renewing your spirit involvesreconnecting with your inner
self and deepening yourrelationship with God.
Can you tell me please?
You know you mentioned herepractical steps for integrating
(28:00):
faith into your healing journey.
You mentioned daily devotionsand gratitude practice.
Did you want to speak on one orboth of those?
Brigid Tebaldi (28:09):
Yeah.
So we kind of already touchedon the gratitude practice and
again, that's just one thingthat I try to have everybody do,
because it's not only greatjust for when you're going
through the healing experience,but it's just great in general
right To be like I'm so thankful, even if things are crazy, like
find something that you can bethankful for.
(28:29):
There's always something,whether that's just life itself.
So, with the daily devotions,the reason that I put this in
here is because a lot of times,whenever we're going through a
really difficult situation, it'sreally easy for us to just like
draw inward and be like I haveto fix this, I have to be the
(28:49):
one who's taking care ofeverything.
But when, in reality, that'swhenever, if we need to heal,
that's when we need more peoplemore than ever, right, so it's
like could you heal on your own?
Yes, however, god calls us tolive in community with one
another, and he wants us to askfor help because, also, we never
(29:10):
know whenever our experience isgoing to help somebody else.
So that's another thing to thinkabout is maybe he had you go
through this so that eventuallyyou can help counsel somebody
else who's going through it ormaybe help prevent them from
going through it.
So, with this idea of dailydevotions, it's just a matter of
the way like you ask for helpwithin your community, but then
(29:32):
also you set aside time to gointo prayer so that you can also
ask for help from the saints sothat they can pray for you, or
you can ask for help from theBlessed Mother so that she can
pray and ask for intercession.
So going through and justhaving that time so that you can
sit and just feel the communityof the church is going to be
(29:55):
vital.
Because, again, without healingand community, first, it's
going to take a lot longer.
And then, second, who wants tojust do everything by themselves
, like talking to people, beingaround people Even if you're an
introvert like you do crave thatsometimes being around people
even if you're an introvert likeyou do crave that sometimes.
So healing and community isreally important and you want to
(30:15):
get that in person, but thenyou also want to get all the
saints to rally with you and toask God for intercession and,
again, ask the blessed motherfor her help as well.
Sheila Nonato (30:25):
Yes, absolutely, and you had touched upon
resilience through community.
That's one of the titles infoundation.
Number three is how you werementioning the crucial role that
that plays in the healingjourney.
Handle it.
You know what?
What are some signs that youknow we, we might need extra
support, maybe professional,seek medical help, or from a
(30:52):
professional.
What kind of signs you know?
Let's say it's a new mother,brand new baby signs that we
should seek some help.
Brigid Tebaldi (31:01):
Yeah, so a big one is that.
And again, I'm not a licensedtherapist, so that's one thing
that I always tell clients isthat if you are experiencing any
sort of severe anxiety, severedepression, like rage, that you
can't have a control overobviously sometimes we just all
get mad and like say things weshouldn't say, but it's like
(31:23):
severe or if you're havingreally negative, dark thoughts,
then you should seek help, andthat is actually a really great
sign of strength.
Dark thoughts then you shouldseek help, and that is actually
a really great sign of strength.
Even just thinking like I needhelp, that is your brain and
your body telling you and likebegging you to ask for help.
And it's really hard to takethat step and be like I need to
(31:44):
find somebody who can help methrough this, but it's really
really important to, because ifyou can't, if you don't heal,
that's going to have a rippledown effect throughout your
entire, like all yourrelationships and you.
And God wants you to heal, hewants you to be happy, he wants
you to enjoy your life, likethat's why he made us and then a
(32:04):
lot of the clients that I workwith they are able to, they're
like able to do everything thatthey normally would do, but
there's just this like lingering, like whether it's fear of the
next pregnancy, like they'rescared to get pregnant because
they don't want the birthexperience to happen again, or
whether they have just this liketightness in their chest
(32:26):
whenever they think about goingthrough labor again, have just
this like tightness in theirchest whenever they think about
going through labor again Again.
They just have this feeling oflike oh, I just don't want to do
that, or like I want more kids,but I'm really, really scared
to.
So.
Whether it's a matter of justagain, even if you have this
little thought in your head likeI wish I could talk to somebody
about this or I just need alittle bit of help If you're
(32:48):
having any of those sorts ofthoughts, then I would really
encourage you to reach out tosomebody, even if it's just like
your friend.
Talk to somebody and then fromthere you can figure out what
the path is that you need totake, whether it is seeing like
a licensed therapist or whetherit's just having conversations
through sessions with somebodylike me.
Taking that first step andacknowledging that you even
(33:11):
desire help is going to be likethe best thing that you can ever
do for yourself and your family.
Yes, absolutely, and can youtell us you're running a
workshop tonight, what is theworkshop and how you're going to
be running it again, I supposeif you can tell us a little bit
about that and people can go toyour website to to look for more
information, yeah, so tonightI'm doing and this is August
(33:35):
29th, so you'll probably won'tbe able to attend but yeah, so
tonight I'm running the birthredemption blueprint, and the
reason I call it that is becausethese are actually five steps
that I have like in my programthat I've taken out and it will
help you heal your heart,rewrite your story, prepare for
next time we go throughacknowledging your birth
(33:57):
experience, releasing emotionalburdens, reclaiming your body,
reframing your narrative andrestoring your confidence.
So this is a really greatwebinar to attend.
If, again, you're having anysort of just like tug on your
heart like oh, I didn't likewhat I experienced or I want
something more next time Now'sthe time to start practicing for
that.
So again, it's just a matter ofreally just acknowledging your
(34:22):
feelings and going through, andif you want to join, I would
love to see you there.
We have over 25 women signed up, which is amazing because again
they just take that first step,but then again I will be
running it in the future.
Um, because again it's just,it's great.
We need to heal in communityand it's literally part of my
(34:43):
program.
So if you love this, thenyou'll love working with me even
more.
Sheila Nonato (34:47):
Amazing.
Was there anything else youwanted to add?
Where can people reach you?
Find you.
Brigid Tebaldi (34:55):
Yeah, so I would just love to chat with anybody
who is feeling just that littlenudge on their heart of like
something needs to change, orjust like I want more, because
God made you for more.
He wants you to enjoy yourexperience here on earth.
He wants you to become a saint,and the way that you do that is
, again, by trying to stay incommunion with him as best we
(35:16):
can we're all sinners but bystaying in communion with him
and just really appreciatingwhat he gives us and trying to
work so that we can betterourselves, better our family,
better the world.
So, yeah, if you have any justnudge on your heart for that,
please just reach out to me.
I'd love to chat with you.
I offer a free coaching sessionIf you wanted to just chat
about anything motherhood, itdoesn't have to be birth and
(35:38):
yeah, I would just love to haveyou reach out and connect.
Sheila Nonato (35:43):
And what is your website and social media?
Brigid Tebaldi (35:52):
Yeah, so the website is www.
lorettowellness.
com and that's spelled L O R E TO Wellness, and then I'm on
Instagram and that is just@loreto wellness.
Again it's L O R E T O Wellness.
And again, I would love to haveyou reach out.
You can send me a voice memo orwhatever works best for you so
we can really learn more aboutyour story and help you get to
where you want to go.
Sheila Nonato (36:13):
Thank you so much for joining us.
You're you're in Wilmington,Pennsylvania, correct.
Brigid Tebaldi (36:17):
Yes, I'm in a little Amish town of
Pennsylvania.
Sheila Nonato (36:20):
Awesome.
Yeah, my husband and I well,mostly my husband was driving we
drove to Washington and we hadto pass through Pennsylvania,
beautiful state.
We drove to Washington and wehad to pass through Pennsylvania
Beautiful state.
Yeah, it's nice for sure.
Yeah, that is awesome.
Thank you so much again forjoining us.
I appreciate hearing all thetips, especially the ones that
(36:40):
involve prayer and relying uponGod to help us to heal from
trauma after birth.
So I really appreciate yourtime and hopefully see you again
.
Brigid Tebaldi (36:54):
Yeah, sounds good.
Thanks so much for having meand again, if anybody needs
anything, please don't hesitateto reach out.
Sheila Nonato (36:59):
Awesome.
Have a blessed day you too, andI love that your son was there
while you were doing thisinterview.
You have to, you have to, youhave to keep going right.
We bring our children with usbecause they're part of us.
Yeah, absolutely, thank you somuch.
God bless, Take care Bye.
Co-host (37:21):
If you like our podcast , please like, share and
subscribe.
You can also leave us a commentand a review, please.
We'd love to hear from you.
Sheila Nonato (37:37):
Thank you, Brigid Tebaldi.
We just celebrated the month ofSeptember dedicated to Our Lady
of Seven Sorrows.
We see Our Lady's example ofsuffering and can relate to the
wound of a mother's heart.
May those who need healing findthe help that you need and
deserve so that you may continueto fulfill your irreplaceable
(37:59):
and incomparable vocation aswives and mothers.
We look forward to celebratingthe month of the Holy Rosary
next week and we have somethingspecial for our podcast in
preparation for that mostspecial month.
Thank you again for tuning inand, God bless, have a Blessed
week.
Thank you for listening to theVeil and Armour podcast.
Co-host (38:21):
I invite you to share this with another Catholic mom
today.
Please subscribe to our podcastand YouTube channel and please
spread the word.
Let's Be Brave, let's Be Boldand Be Blessed together.
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