Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sheila Nonato (00:01):
Jesus said, "or
where two or three are gathered
in my name, there am I in themidst of them.
What is the importance ofprayer in marriage?
How can Catholic bridesstrengthen the foundation of
their marriage before and aftertheir wedding?
We continue part two of ourconversation with Cassandra
(00:23):
Verhulst, a young Catholic bridefrom France, about preparing
for her wedding.
Here's a recap from last week,and also Cassandra leads the
Hail Mary in French.
Thank you for joining us and Ijust wanted to offer prayers for
my sister, kate, and a happybelated birthday to her and to
(00:43):
my godson, and a big thank youto her and her family for
blessing us with a muchappreciated donation through Buy
Me a Coffee to support ourpodcast, apostolate, which we
are happy to bring to you.
Thank you for joining us thisweek, god bless.
(01:04):
Hello and Welcome to the Veiland Armour podcast.
This is your host, SheilaNonato.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and afreelance Catholic journalist,
Seeking the guidance of the HolySpirit and the inspiration of
Our Lady.
I strive to tell stories thatinspire, illuminate and enrich
the lives of Catholic women, tohelp them in living out our
vocation of raising the nextgeneration of leaders and saints
(01:26):
.
Co-Host (01:27):
Please join us every
week on the Veil and Armour
podcast, where stories comealive through a journalist's
lens and mother's heart.
Sheila Nonato (01:36):
Welcome to
Cassandre Verhelst, and it is
bittersweet, as she is gettingmarried in a week the civil
wedding and then the wedding andthe church after that.
Cassandre Verhelst (01:47):
I'm super
excited to get married, and so,
with all of those emotions, I'mlooking forward to this new
chapter and a new life togetherwith my fiancé.
(Hail Mary is being prayed inFrench.
) Je vous salue, marie, pleinede grâce.
Le Seigneur est avec vous.
Vous êtes bénie entre toutesles femmes et Jésus, le
Sheila Nonato (02:05):
(Continuation of
the conversation with Cassandre
Verhelst about her preparationfor her Catholic wedding in
France.
) My prayer life has sufferedyou know, because there's so
many things.
When you become a mom, when youbecome a wife and a mom, you
have many things.
(02:26):
Well, for me anyway, I had somany things I didn't know how to
do, which is I was the feministcareer- minded person, so I
didn't really know how to cook.
I didn't know how to clean andorganize things.
Um, I don't know.
I just thought you could paysomeone to do that, but anyway,
um, it's terrible, or or you caneat it.
I don't know, but yeah, sowhenever my prayer life suffers,
(02:49):
the communication suffers, yeah, and you know, I mean, yeah,
the devil wants to attack afamily, right, and the best way
he could do that is through themother, through the wife to the
mother, and so the mother reallyneeds a lot of spiritual
strength and that interiorprayer life has to be really
(03:12):
strong, because, I mean, womendo work and I do, like you know,
I, I do work as well from home,but I do stay at home full time
, and not everyone does it.
But it's a different kind ofyou.
You know, when I was at work, Icould see other people and talk
to adults.
Sometimes.
I don't talk to adults all day,so sometimes you're like I want
(03:32):
to get out of here, get out ofthis house, but it's not because
you want to get away from yourchildren, it's just that you,
you sometimes forget yourselfand you put yourself last, which
you know.
All mothers, all women, have thesacrificial nature that you
know.
You have a lot of generosity,uh, towards others.
But I think one thing, if thereis, again, another thing that I
(03:55):
can impart to you is um, yeah,never forget about your, about
yourself and your, your needs asa, as a, as a mother, well, as
a wife, a woman, and as a child,as a daughter of God.
That, yeah, that prayer is soimportant because you know your
relationship with God willreally help you cement your
(04:18):
relationship with your husband,and that will.
That's what, well, for me andmy husband too, we did go to
mass together too and pray therosary, so that was what was
binding us together, and Iunderstand what you say about,
like my husband and I are, so wealso have different
personalities.
So, yeah, so I can understandwhat you're saying like how do,
how does how does this work?
Um, because, yeah, I had in mymind I don't know if I told this
(04:41):
to my husband, but in my mind Iwas thinking the perfect, the
perfect man guy I don't know wasgoing to this to my husband,
but in my mind I was thinkingthe perfect, the perfect man guy
I don't know was going to besomebody.
I'd meet them in the library,he'd have like classes and like
vocation.
I'm not, I'm not sayinganything disparaging about
anybody, I'm just saying, likeyou know, like that person, like
very, you know, you just lovebooks, reading all day.
(05:01):
So I'm like, anyway, my husbandis.
I mean, he's very smart, buthe's in the army, so he does
physical work and you know, andhe's, he has a very good heart,
but he's like masculine.
He was the opposite of what I,you know, like the not feminized
man, but you know what I mean.
Yeah, sensitive man, yeah, no,he's like the masculine man,
(05:25):
he's also sensitive.
But he was like, and I waswondering, god, this is not the
one I was asking you for,because this is like, this is
not a feminine man.
What do you, you know?
But then I thought but then myone of the sisters, I, my
spiritual mother, I wouldconsider her Sister Ursula.
I was telling her because whenI met him, I was telling her all
the you know, we would go tomass pray together.
I've been thinking aboutreligious life.
(05:49):
I'd also never had a boyfriendat that point.
So I said, sister, I don't knowabout this.
You know, I was thinkingbecause in my mind I had my own
vision of who is it supposed tobe.
And she said she's been prayingfor me for a while.
She said, "heila, my dear,please don't waste my prayers.
(06:10):
And I was thinking, oh, yeah,you know what is this?
God's will or my will?
And and so I thought, you know,and also I was liberal at that
point like yeah, there's no, Ireally hate labels.
But anyway, if you were gonnasay, say a label, liberal versus
, versus, you know, conservative, like all that, so I was like I
don't want to.
Yeah, I don't know, this is amanly man Like this is, this is
(06:31):
not what I, I was asking for.
But really I just, you know,you never judge a book by its
cover, really, because they canlook like they're masculine, but
at the heart you know they'revery sensitive.
They can look like they'remasculine, but at the heart you
know they're very sensitive.
But, um, but yeah, I just, Ijust think that the differences,
as you were saying, they, theycan be overcome, but it has to
(06:52):
be.
You have to have the will.
You both have to have the willand I think when things break
down is when both get exhaustedand they just don't want to
fight.
You really have to fight foryour marriage.
There are times when you haveto, because the devil's going to
want to.
You know he loves it whenmarriages fall apart, right.
There are times when you haveto fight for your marriage and
(07:12):
the armor of faith that's what'sgoing to help you build that
defense system against anythingthat's going to seek to destroy
it, against anything that'sgoing to seek to destroy it.
Well, now I'm going to go backto the Bible.
I was reading before we weretalking.
I was reading Jesus' firstmiracle at Cana, the wedding
(07:35):
feast, and how, as you weresaying about the differences
between men and women, hisMother had an intuition, I guess
, or she probably was told byGod that ask your son to change
the water into wine.
And he wasn't sure.
But because he was obedient andhe loved his mother and I'm
(07:56):
sure he knew his mother was alsothoughtful to God.
So he probably thought you know, I'm going to trust her, and I
think that's part in marriage.
You also trust and the woman isusually more intuitive.
But, yeah, Jesus trusted HisMom and His Mom knew that this
is, this is what you're supposedto do, and and I just love that
loving relationship that theyboth they also both had that
very strong relationship, uh,with God, and they listened to
(08:19):
each other, right, like hedidn't dismiss her and say no,
no, no, no, no, it's not my time.
He did say it's not my time,but he still, he listened, he
listened to and then she saidlisten, actually his her words
was do whatever he tells you,right?
So she was also not imposingher will, because I'm pretty
sure God was telling her to dothis.
(08:40):
But how do you guys, how didyou guys know this was God's
will for you, for you both to bewith each other?
Cassandre Verhelst (08:49):
It's funny,
Sheila, because you're literally
saying and a woman is moreintuitive.
For me it was really anintuition and I thought and I
and I, I think, I believe thatif it's, if it's at the bottom
of your heart, it's the Lordthat's putting it in there, even
if you don't understand,especially if you don't
understand, and because faith,the Catholic faith is, we are a
(09:11):
lot of not understanding butbelieving.
And so I think that was on myside and on paul adrian's side.
I know he, um, so we had beenseeing each other for for a
while and um, and he went tomass at lunchtime one day when
an internship or in his firstjob, like now, he was working,
(09:32):
he was working, he was working,and so he went to Mass during
his lunch break and he told mehe just got a piece in the
middle of the right after Ithink it was after Actually I
don't know when it was duringMass, but he told me that he
just knew at that moment that,okay, he's the right one At that
(09:56):
moment that, okay, you're theright one, but so it was for him
.
It was one precise moment whenit became clear and in his head
and for me it really was more inmy heart and my intuition, and
it was at different moments,which just goes to show that you
need to have faith and patience, because I think I knew was
(10:21):
knew a year and a half beforeand so I waited for a year and a
half.
Sheila Nonato (10:26):
And did you have?
You know, everyone has like thelist, you know?
Did you have the list?
This, this, this is what I want.
This is what I want.
Did you have that?
Cassandre Verhelst (10:35):
No, I think
it was like I don't know if I
should say this or not, but forme it's very important that my
husband has hands that arestrong and big, because he's
really reassuring and that's theonly criteria that Paul Adrien
(10:55):
has.
But then in the end I didn'thave a list and I think he takes
off all the boxes of theexisting list because he's tall,
he's handsome, he has a nicesmile and a big heart and he's
very intelligent.
(11:15):
So no, I did not have a list.
I did not ask St Joseph forside bullet points.
Sheila Nonato (11:23):
And I think I
remember from a story you told
about the hands how significantthat is, because there was one
time you were praying, I believe, and you felt the hand of God
on your shoulder.
Can you tell us a little bit?
Cassandre Verhelst (11:36):
Absolutely.
Can you tell us a little bit,if you can?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, no, that was the firsttime I, um, I felt the lord's
presence was, um was in a prayergroup when I I felt, um, no,
but you're absolutely right, Ifelt a hand on my shoulder, or a
weight on my shoulder, and, um,and, and sometimes and that's
(11:58):
also another grace that I that Iam lucky to have, when I say
that our father and I feel likesomeone's pressing their, their
thumb in the palm of my hand,it's boy, it's feeling.
So I and you're not everyonehave the luck to to feel, on top
of just believing.
But yeah, I'm a very tactileperson and so hands are the way
(12:24):
that you transmit your love forme, and so I think the Lord
knows that and he uses that tospeak to me, and then I have a
fiancé that also has hands to doit.
Sheila Nonato (12:39):
Beautiful, and so
what are the next steps?
Do you have a wedding planneror you are doing it yourself?
Cassandre Verhelst (12:45):
No, that
doesn't really exist in France,
at least not in the Catholicsphere I evolve in.
But it's funny because inbelgium it actually does exist
and I have a really good friendwho, um who told me he was and
it's called the master ofceremony in french.
In French, it's like (13:04):
what the
heck is your job, a master of
ceremony?
And then he explained it to meand then I was like, "h my gosh,
that's impressive.
And and so the Belgian weddingplanner arrives much later on in
the timeline and he'sessentially there on D-Day and
(13:24):
he does the timing and he makessure everyone's at the right
spot at the right time, and hehandles the caterer and he has
an emergency sewing kit in hisbackpack and a band-aid and a
pain reliever.
But here the wedding planner isa team composed of, on the
other hand, me and our parents.
Sheila Nonato (13:46):
Okay, beautiful.
How do you guys navigate thedecisions?
If one is it, they just saywhat does Cassandra want?
Is that how they decide?
Yeah, it's royal.
Cassandre Verhelst (13:59):
Yeah,
amazing.
We have amazing moms, reallyamazing moms, two incredible
women and who don't work thesame way but who have really at
heart to to ask us what, what wewant, and to um and when, and
to put their intuition at theservice also of, um, what they
believe we would be happy with.
(14:20):
And mom often asks me are youmaking a choice or are you
eliminating?
And I find that a good question, because, yeah, what do I want?
And so she's by, by another way, asking me can someone make a
decision and tell me what youwant, rather than saying, okay,
(14:43):
very good, do what you want.
And so we have twoextraordinary moms that are
happy to help.
Sheila Nonato (14:55):
And so now, how
are you preparing yourself
interiorly, spiritually, asyou're preparing to become a
bride?
Cassandre Verhelst (15:07):
Well.
So actually, I I don't know howto answer that question um, I,
I think you're never, you'renever really ready to take that
huge leap of faith, and so youjust have to decide that you're
ready.
I think I've decided that I'mready emotionally and then
spiritually.
(15:27):
So, yeah, I often find myselfpraying for, praying for our,
our couple, and praying for our,our marriage, and praying for
Paul Adrien, and so I think thatthat kind of testimony and
(15:47):
proof that you're evolving inyour head, that you're changing
from Lord, please give me this,please, I'm asking you for this,
or I'm asking you for this andand and make me better, blah,
blah, blah, and also say, okay,back, help me be a better person
for, help me understand himbetter, and I think, maybe by by
(16:10):
by reading my, my prayerentries and see.
Okay, where are the pronouns?
Sheila Nonato (16:19):
And are people
praying for you on the Hozana
App?
Let's go back to the Hozana App.
Did you tell them?
I think you said you told themand then somebody was praying
for you when you said you wereengaged.
Cassandre Verhelst (16:31):
Yeah, no it
was pretty incredible.
So I worked for the Hozana app,which is a prayer site and a
prayer application where, um,you have a whole amount of
novenas and retreats, but youalso have the possibility to
entrust an intention and havepeople pray for your intention,
and so, um, so I did two things.
(16:52):
I, um I sent an email outsaying I was getting married,
and I got a lot of answers to myemails with, "ongratulations
and I'll be praying for you, andpeople asked me when the date
was so that they could pray forme.
So I was really touched by thatresponse and then touched also
by sometimes we have to sendprayer intentions out to test
(17:15):
features, and so I always putreal prayer intentions, and so
I'm happy to see that 188 peopleprayed for Paredes Yaini, or
seven people prayed for me to beable to find the words to tell
my fiancé this or that.
And since you only have yourfirst name, that appears.
(17:38):
So it's kind of where you havea bit of an anonymous side to
saying these prayer intentions.
So you're really honest and trueand by putting something real
in your prayer intention, youtickle the desire on the other
person's side to really pray forthat intention, because they
(17:59):
know that, um, it can bear fruit, that their prayer can bear
fruit, and so when you entrustyour intention, people can pray
for it and if you're on the onthe receiving or on the reading
end, you reach someone's prayerintention and you click on pray
and then a little candle lightsup for about the time of a Hail
Mary, and so you know that, um,you know, seven people, 20
(18:22):
people, 100 people have said aHail Mary for you.
So, and and that is really, Ithink, incredibly uplifting and
incredibly, um, it gives youcourage and hope because you
know that random people,strangers, are praying for you.
Sheila Nonato (18:39):
Wow, beautiful.
And so, as you're preparing toleave Hosanna, what have you
learned?
What will you take from havingworked there, I guess, to your
new chapter?
Cassandre Verhelst (18:52):
Well, I'm
just impressed that so many
people can give their life tomission.
We're called to evangelize andwe're called to to spread the
Gospel and that's exactly whatthey're doing and they're
they're, they're using theirtalents and more that the whole
Hosanna team uses their talentsfor the service of the Lord and
(19:14):
they are at the service of theLord.
So that's just impressive initself and impressive in the
fact that a small team can asmall team can find the funds to
make to make this project work,that they have the energy to go
find people to accompany them,that we have spiritual directors
(19:35):
that give their help and bringus in the right path and, maybe
most importantly, that so manypeople are happy to pray for
others and with others and thatthere's really a sense of
community, both in the fact thatusers around the world sign up
for retreats and pray with eachother and for each other and the
(19:58):
people that create the retreats, so the Sisters of Life, the
Shrine of John Paul II, theFranciscan Fires of the Holy
Spirit, their fathers, brothersand sisters, and lay people that
are preparing content forpeople to pray more and grow
closer to the Lord.
So many people are concernedwith each other's salvation.
(20:20):
It's pretty impressive.
Sheila Nonato (20:23):
Yes, absolutely,
and I was really honored.
You asked me to write this theretreat for Mother's Day, um,
and I was really surprised by,yeah, like, the number of people
who signed up.
I think we were one shy of 2000yeah, I'm not going to correct
but um, and people's messageslike, uh, encouraging, saying
that they were felt encouragedby the story.
(20:43):
I I shared some stories, somemiracles, some losses, but yes,
people thought that helped them.
You know sort of go if they,when they were going through
something, they felt encouraged.
And so, yeah, thank you for forasking me to write that.
And I've never written aretreat before, but I guess and
I didn't expect a lot of peopleto sign up because I don't know,
(21:08):
I just I wasn't sure how my, myretreat was going to be
received because I'd never doneit before.
But I guess people, well womenin particular, need that
community of prayer that thereare some who are feeling.
I think in one of theinterviews said An isolated
Christian is a Christian indanger.
And I think the same withmothers, because a lot of
(21:34):
motherhood, when kids are youngand mothers are at home and they
might feel isolated because youknow their parents are not
around or they don't have ababysitter to help them out in
those early years around, orthey don't have a babysitter to
help them out in those earlyyears.
That, yeah, that's when theyreally need that prayer, because
they might feel lonely or likethey're wondering what did, what
did I get myself into and howwill God help me to get through
(21:57):
this?
Because you know, in thebeginning, with diapers and
babies, there's not a lot ofsleep happening.
So they really do need thatcommunity and if it is through
online at the moment, if that'swhere they can find that, I
encourage you to reach out,because we really need to uplift
our mothers and to encouragethem to keep going, because the
(22:21):
babies are going to grow up.
So you're going to get yoursleep In the meantime when
you're, you're gonna, you'regonna get your sleep, but in in
the meantime, when you knowyou're, you're still in the
midst of motherhood.
Early motherhood it's, uh, it'sgonna be tough, but you know
what you're tougher you're.
To all the listeners out there,I know you're tougher, right,
you went through childbirth,you're you're just tougher than
(22:41):
you think you are.
You're really so, anyway, um,yeah, what else did you?
Sorry, I think we're over time.
I know you have stuff to do, butwas there anything else you
wanted to add?
Um, anything that I missed?
Uh, or a message from ourlisteners, who I'm sure you know
?
Every time you come on, I lookat the stats and it's like, oh,
they like this episode.
You know how to pray, the theone on social media.
(23:03):
I think I titled it like how topray online and how to sanctify
social media, or something likethis, and that's one of the top
episodes.
So, yeah, so they really.
Yeah, people want to know howto pray.
But do you have a message forour listeners or anything?
Cassandre Verhelst (23:22):
But yeah, no
, Maybe just one testimony was
that I have a friend that brokeup with her boyfriend and it was
a really tough time because shehad lost her little sister in
the same summer.
So it was so complicated.
I was really complicated forher and she kind of scared me
because she told me you don'tsee the point of living if it's
(23:44):
just to suffer.
And so when someone says thatto you, it's really strong
because it's a sentence that cango two ways and that can end in
dramatic things, and I'm kindof a drama queen so I imagine
the worst.
But I said, okay, I can't doanything for you, I can only be
here and I can only pray for you, and I can only get people to
(24:04):
pray for you.
Because, since I was ever thenI thought, okay, perfect, I'm
going to put an intention forthat friend on the site.
And so I put on the Hosannawebsite Lord, I entrust to you
this friend.
Please help her heal and helpher find a God-fearing man who
is willing to commit.
And that prayer of intentionreceived so many prayers and
(24:29):
just shy of 200, which is whichis huge.
That means that there are 200people around the world world
that are praying for that friend.
Crazy, um.
and so I told her um to you know, 48 hours later, or a week
later, because the intentionlasts for 80 hours, and you know
that I put your?
I just so you know, 48 hourslater or a week later, because
the intention lasts for 80 hours.
(24:49):
Do you know that I put your?
Just so?
You know, I put your request onHosanna and I asked people to
pray for you, and there are 200people that prayed for you and I
think it really stuck with herbecause a few months later, she
ended up getting back togetherwith that boy but, um, having
grown both of them enormously,and she told me, I think the
(25:12):
thing that helped me, um, moveon during that lapse of time was
the fact that you told me thatpeople had people that I didn't
know had prayed for me to giveme strength, and so I think
that's something that I justwant to share is the power of
prayer and the power of people.
It's prayer that you don't know.
Even I mean it's not becauseyou know someone that your
prayer counts more or less,unless for your spouse, but
(25:37):
that's another topic.
And so just to encourage peopleto pray for each other and even
to pray for people that youdon't know, it doesn't matter,
it bears fruit.
Yeah, so thanks for sharingthat.
You don't know, it doesn'tmatter, it bears fruit, yeah.
Sheila Nonato (25:49):
So thanks for
sharing that.
That is a beautiful story.
So I'll be praying for you.
As you said, it's this Saturday, right?
Your wedding, yes, and then theother wedding Going to pray for
that too and your next chapter,and I don't know.
I hope I see you again.
You are such a wise, you'relike an old soul.
I hope you don't take offenseto that, but you're very young,
(26:13):
so I'm not going to get into agebecause I don't think people
like to talk about age, but tome you look like a very smart,
emotionally mature, spirituallymature young lady emotionally
mature, spiritually mature younglady, and it's been an honor to
have been able to get to knowyou in the past.
I think.
How many episodes now?
(26:33):
Four, five, maybe.
It's been a year since westarted talking, and I think it
was the first.
One was the million roses forMary, mother Mary, yeah.
And then you guys achieved thisthree, is it three million,
yeah, roses for Mother Mary.
I'm sure she's very happy andthat is amazing that people take
their time to pray that prayerand offer it for Mary and for
(26:56):
everyone around the world who isneeding that bit of hope and
encouragement.
So I hope to see you again, Idon't know, God willing.
So are you going to stay inFrance?
Are you going to move toanother country?
Yeah, okay, yeah, staying yourfriends for the moment?
Okay, awesome.
Well, if you keep us updated onwhat's happening with you, we'd
(27:17):
love to chat again.
How is married life going?
You have so much wisdom.
To be honest, when I was in my20s, I don't know.
I I needed that wisdom, I waspraying for that wisdom.
So I, I um, yeah, admire thatreally truly what you've
accomplished, um, and you knowjust your work with, because
some people say prayer doesn'taccomplish anything because you
(27:39):
don't see, but you don't know,you really don't know the fruits
.
Right, it is.
We are in sort of a you know,cultural.
There is a cultural battlegoing on and a spiritual battle
that, again, we only might neversee the fruits of our prayers,
but somewhere out there yourprayer is going to help somebody
(28:01):
or possibly even liberate asoul from purgatory, right?
But anyway, thank you,Cassandre.
Was there anything else youwanted to say?
Cassandre Verhelst (28:11):
Just thank
you, Sheila.
Sheila Nonato (28:13):
Okay, well, thank
you so much again and have a
good afternoon and a blessedweek preparing for your wedding.
Co-Host (28:20):
Thank you so much,
Sheila,
Sheila Nonato (28:21):
And best regards
to your .
.
..
no.
I don't want to say best wishes.
Prayers to your future husband,soon- to- be-h husband and um,
and, yeah, looking forward tohopefully more chats with you if
you would like to come back.
So, God bless,
Cassandre Verhelst (28:38):
Thank you,
bye bye Sheila.
Sheila Nonato (28:40):
Bye, thank you,
thank you so much bye.
Thank thank you so much forjoining us and thank you to .
for joining us as well beforeher wedding, and we will
continue to pray for her and forher marriage.
And the upcoming episode willbe about Sacred sacred Intimacy
intimacy for Catholic wives.
And since my family ispreparing to go to , Ohio ohio,
(29:02):
for the Catholic CreatorsConference, I'm not sure if I'm
going to be able to get thisepisode out before then for next
week, but I hope you stay tunedand next week or then the
following week after that, wewill have that episode for you
with .
Dr Sarah Bartel.
Thank you so much and have ablessed, blessed day and blessed
week.
And we are truly humbled andhonoured honored to be able to
(29:23):
bring this podcast Apostolate toyou.
And I forgot to " say happybirthday, dad.
Love you and hope to see yousoon.
God bless.
(29:46):
Thank you for listening to theVeil and Armour podcast.
Co-Host (29:49):
I invite you to share
this with another Catholic mom
today.
Please subscribe to our podcastand YouTube channel and please
spread the word.
Let's Be Brave, let's Be Boldand Be Blessed together.