Pride and Prejudice (1995) (ft. Kim & Alice from Fetch the Smelling Salts)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in possession of a birthday must be in want of a celebration. However little known the feelings or views of such a person may be on their first entering into another year of life, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of their surrounding acquaintance, that they are considered as the rightful object of some one or other of their neighbours' party-planning endeavours.

"My dear friends," began our heroine (for heroine she must be called, being the celebrated birthday personage of our tale), "I find myself in the most peculiar situation of having reached another year of existence, and I am given to understand that such an occasion demands commemoration."

It is hoped that all persons of good breeding and cheerful disposition will find it agreeable to listen, for what is a birthday celebration without the society of one's most valued listeners?

Joining this celebration of the utmost importance are the honoured guests of Dr Alice and Dr Kimberly of Fetch the Smelling Salts. Ladies of noble achievement in high society, whose warm and witty conversation has made this episode most agreeable indeed. Alice's slightly racier podcast, Austen After Dark, is also a most welcome pursuit for those who enjoy lively discourse on more amorous activities.

"For what," our heroine might well exclaim, "is the pleasure of a birthday without the warmth of friendship to illuminate it?"

Therefore, let all who receive these words consider themselves most cordially and affectionately invited to join in what promises to be an episode of unparalleled enjoyment.

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