VERSUS with Malachi, John, and Drew

Sailing through the ether like some ether on a rag to your nose—it's another episode of VERSUS and it's here to knock you unconscious! Taste sounds. See smells. Go ahead, feel a color or two. The contents of this here rag don't judge you or follow the rules of this universe, baby.

On this week's trip to the dentist: round 1 explodes into a ball of flames, round 2 crashes into the fertile earth, and roun...

Switch that signal and gently caress that third rail, because VERSUS is back on the tracks and chugging into Grand Central Stupid. We can carry as many passengers as you can throw at us AND we've got a bar car. Every car is a bar car. There are no seats. Chaos reigns.

On this week's crazy train: the fellas go on a road trip of iMaGiNAtiON, explore both sides of the same coin, and BBQ a ball of mystery meat.
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Well gaba my entire gool because here comes another episode of VERSUS crashing through the gates of the estate and charging for the guest house. It's running. It's jumping. It's dodging security. It's making a damn fool of itself if you ask me, but I was never one to judge too harshly. Fly my little baby podcast. Fly into the arms of the forever...

On this week's unintelligible pile of muck-muck: F...

Due to recent allegations against the podcast, we find it necessary to take a moment here and use this space to make it clear that the podcast VERSUS and everyone associated therewith DO NOT CONDONE arson of any kind. Even though burning stuff with fire seems like it would be really cool and fun, it is not a forbidden delight that any of us partake of, in, or thereupon.

Arson is a crime, and we take crime very seriously. ...

Hot diggity dog it's another scorcher of an episode of VERSUS coming down the meat pipe to satisfy your most carnivorous of fantasies—comedically speaking that is!

For this week's overprocessed junk chunks in a bun: the fellas confront a riddle more dastardly than any sphinx dare devise, are supplied with the beginning and the end, and work their ways to woo a womance.

VERSUS: All For One, and One For Al...

"Hands up! Put your hands on the wall! Spread your legs! You got any VERSUS on you?! Huh?! Do ya scumbag? You look like the kinda trash that'd be filthy with VERSUS. Yeeeeeeah you're grinning from ear to ear and I can practically smell it on you. Get in the Cybertruck™ VERScum, you're going to Cyberprison™!!!"

This is our future if we don't spread the good word of VERSUS far and wide. You don&...

Did you know that nearly 40,000 Americans died in car crashes in 2020 alone? That's nuts. If you're texting and driving then cut that sh*t out. If you're reading this while you're driving then we're personally upset with you. Please be good out there, we care about your safety!

Here is a description of this week's episode for you to read while you are NOT DRIVING A CAR: in act 1 the gang gets ...

Whoever said three is company and four is a crowd must have been a friendless jerk, because the VERSUS gang has yet again been graced by a fourth angelic presence and it wasn't crowded at all! We were quite comfortable!

This week, the fellas are joined by the inimitable Rory Scholl as they tumble through a tumbler of brain-challenging and mind-altering games such as: guessing whose favorite thing a thing is, producing...

ADVENTURE! ROMANCE! POISONOUS PLANTS AND ANIMALS!

The world is full of exciting stuff, and you better believe VERSUS counts itself among the ranks of excitingest. Most exciting. Phenomenal. Faaaaaaaaantastic!

On this week's jolt of joy de vivre: the contestants grovel at the feet of the Game Master, are kind in the manner of Blockbuster, and behave like good little Catholics.

VERSUS: It's a Thin...

Once again, the gang from VERSUS rises like the morning sun to cast light upon the dark, cold corners of the planet Earth—bringing warmth, contentment, and the very definition of beauty to the masses simply because they can. How do they achieve such celestial splendor by way of a stupid podcast where three dudes yell at each other? Well, partner, that there's a mystery I wouldn't care to solve even if I could. Let's ...

Listen y'all: It's late, I've gotta go to bed, and I'm just plain out of juice. Can we pretend like I wrote something funny for the descriptive copy this week? Can we just envision a world in which I didn't entirely phone it in, and sat down to write something clever and worth your time? That would be super helpful for me. I promise to do better next week—for reals. Thanks, and I love you.

On this ...

Awwwww lordy, it's happened again! Like snow tumbling down a mountain, VERSUS is picking up steam, gaining traction, and growing to a size so massive that it will easily destroy the small village at the end of its path. Nobody is safe, because this juggernaut of improvised comedy is about to crash through buildings with no regard for whether said building is the local orphanage, which the VERSUS snowball is currently headed st...

After a big old four-week stretch of the gams, the VERSUS gang is back from summer hiatus to bring you more unscripted comedy that the FDA has proudly labeled the first non-food/non-drug item deemed unfit for human consumption!

This week, the sailors find their sea legs once again by disagreeing with one another, getting groovy with astrology, and experiencing a drive-by neighboring.

VERSUS: Because It Feels Good,...

You put the lime in the coconut? The whole thing? The ENTIRE lime? IN the coconut? I'm just not following man. Look, this all sounds incredibly groovy and I'm with you one-hundred percent, I just need to understand...IN the coconut?

Speaking of confusing instructions, this week Game Master Drew made the fellas: apologize for their tardiness, speak the subtext, and relive the horrors of previous employment.

This week, we're gonna try something new. We're pivoting to salads. Starting off with a trio of classic Caesar, a nice watermelon/mint/feta salad for the summer, and one with like roasted squash and arugula or whatever, probably like some pepitas that sounds good. I dunno man, podcasting is hard, we're feeling like salads might be more interesting to people. Sound off in the comments if you agree.

On this we...

As the boys from VERSUS ramp up for an epic summer vacation, their whole world falls apart when the local skating rink suffers a devastating rat infestation. The bills are piling up and the skating rink is on the brink...of bankruptcy! Will our heroes be able to save their precious summer hangout by launching a  bikini-car-wash fundraiser? Not with these bodies! That's why they've recruited Eric "the Comedian Who Has...

It's the year 2022. A human being sits hunched over a mechanical computer keyboard, feverishly typing. He's trying to keep his right knee extended. He asked too much of it when he rode his bike from Manhattan to Queens to record his podcast last weekend—it's healing fine, but slowly. He sighs deeply. He's not a young man anymore. He feels young of mind, spry of body, but he can feel the slow tendrils of time beg...

Heaven is a house on a lake on a warm day where your only care in the world is looking after the ones you love. Unfortunately, in the real world, lakefront property is extremely expensive and our loved ones all left us because we kept putting "air quotes" around "everything." Thank the Deity for squatters' rights though, amiright? Just a few more months without the Feds finding me and I'm gonna squat m...