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August 25, 2025 47 mins

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A powerful conversation with Carmencita Pinckney reveals the journey of a remarkable woman whose life has been defined by service—first in uniform, and now as a tireless advocate for fellow veterans.

Born on a Navy base to a Vietnam veteran father, Carmencita grew up immersed in military culture, moving between bases from Puerto Rico to California. This foundation led her to enlist in 1986, ultimately serving two years active duty in the Navy followed by 18 years in the reserves, including time with both Navy and Marine Corps Reserve units. As a Religious Program Specialist, she found her calling in a role centered around supporting others—a mission that continues to drive her today.

Carmencita's story weaves through formative experiences like boot camp in Orlando and her time stationed in Norfolk, where she first encountered a suicidal veteran while cleaning a chapel. That pivotal moment foreshadowed her future work at the Detroit VA as a peer support specialist, helping veterans navigate mental health challenges and connecting them with crucial resources.

What stands out in Carmencita's narrative is her unwavering commitment to veteran advocacy even after medically retiring due to debilitating migraines. She now volunteers helping veterans understand and apply for benefits they've earned but often don't realize they qualify for. "Many veterans don't think of themselves as veterans because they served for two years and never saw combat," she explains, highlighting common misconceptions that prevent former service members from accessing their entitled benefits.

Carmencita remains actively involved with programs like the Southeast Michigan Veterans Stand Down and promotes resources including the Honor Flight program and Women's Veterans Conference. Her message resonates with compassion born from personal experience: "We don't have to be alone in our homes. We don't have to be silent about what we're going through. Somebody else is going through it and somebody else might have a resource to connect them to benefits we all have earned."

Ready to connect with veteran resources? Reach out to your state's Veterans Affairs Agency or join Carmen at upcoming events designed to support those who've served.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today is Monday, August 25th.
We're talking with Carmen Sita.
Pinkney who served in theUnited States Navy and the
Marine Corps Reserve.
So good morning.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Good morning.
Thanks for being here.
Thank you for having me, Bill.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Absolutely, so we'll get started right out of the
chute.
Here A very tough question whenand where were you born?

Speaker 3 (00:19):
I was born in Lemoore , california Navy base.
I am a second generation Navyveteran and I was born in
December 26, 1966.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
All right, it's funny you mentioned L'Amour, because
when I was in basic trainingthere was a guy there and his
father was a master chief atL'Amour and he did not want
anyone to know who his dad was.
But you know, they saw his nameand immediately he was picked
on the whole time.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, good time for him.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Good times.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, so now being part of a military family, then
did you grow up in Lemoore ordid you move around a lot?

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Grew up in Lemoore but then, because of the what is
it?
The transition and thetransferring, we grew up all
over to include puerto rico, sandiego a couple of times um
where my san francisco a coupleof times, and then we ended up
being back in san diego, wherewe had relatives at okay and
what was that like for you as ayoung person, moving all over

(01:21):
the place?
didn't really pay attention toit then, but I sure do
appreciate it now because whilewe grew up on the base it was at
five years old I was actuallywalking around by myself
probably even younger than thatand I remember one of the
teenagers would just hang aroundwith me as well.
But I would actually leave thebase housing, go to the

(01:41):
commissary where my dad ran thecommissary, and then I hung
around my dad a lot.
So it was really nice watchingMr Caruso drive around in his
little, nice, little, niftylittle car, smaller than a golf
cart.
But.
And then my first time seeingsomebody with an amputee was
while I was at the commissaryarea and I went and got a short

(02:05):
ice cream shortcake.
I ended up throwing it away.
It just upset my stomach.
So now I'm a little bit more asan adult, I'm a little bit more
tolerant and acceptable of itand it does not phase me the way
it did before.
But before I was like oh man.
So I've never eaten anothershortcake since then.
But it's just nice knowing thatI've seen family orientation on

(02:27):
the base to where we used toeven go to church on the base.
Kind of funny and ironic.
We went to church at theCatholic church on the base, but
then I became a religiousprogram specialist on the active
duty side.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Okay.
So, All right, any brothers andsisters.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
I have two brothers and two sisters.
I am the second to the youngest, and then I have three older
ones.
So far, we're all alive, thankGod.
Unfortunately, we lost ourparents.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Well, speaking of your parents, tell me a little
bit about your dad.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
My dad was a ship's hand.
He used to be a ship's hand.
Now it's what they call astorekeeper.
My dad was a ship's hand Used tobe a ship's hand, now it's what
they call a storekeeper.
But I actually learned how todo my military creases on my own
uniforms by my dad.
But he went in from JamesIsland, south Carolina, along
with a couple of his otherbrothers.
They went Army, one of themwent Navy.
They are seven kids Now.

(03:23):
Three of them are left.
My dad was a Vietnam vet, so hehad shore duty, ship duty and,
of course, in Vietnam.
So I'm a byproduct of that.
But talk about the man beingsquared away.
He was always squared away,even till his death.
He actually wore the militaryshoes and always kept them shiny
.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, it's funny the things that we retain from our
time in the service.
My stepfather served in Koreain the Marine Corps and from a
very young age all of us kidslearned how to do like hospital
corners on our beds and you knowhow not to take too hot of a
shower and all that kind ofstuff.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
So I remember all that, I still make my bed that
way.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, yeah, and you know what I get it.
We get up every morning, wemake the bed.
That's the first thing we do.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I don't do that anymore, but I said I need to
get back into it because allthose old structures and norms
that we had was actually a greatfoundation to grow up in.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, yeah, and the one thing you make your bed
first thing in the morning.
You've already accomplished onething, right.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
I love that prayer, Admiral.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yes, I could listen to that a hundred times.
So tell me a little bit aboutyour mom.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
My mom was Puerto Rican, from Ceiba, Puerto Rican,
and she met my dad in a barwhen she went with her sisters
and told her sisters that thatman is mine and, needless to say
, they got married.
They had six children.
My mom lost one of them growingup, so the oldest,
unfortunately, is lost frombirth and pretty much she
unfortunately passed away when Iwas 27.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, so very young.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Very young.
So my dad died at 52.
Oh, so very young, very young.
So my dad died at 52.
I sat there literally between meand another cousin who's also a
veteran Army veteran, kaidaSterling.
We're actually trying to seewho can outlive their parents
and so far we have, thank God,but it's a closeness that we
kind of lost.

(05:22):
But my parents are always in myheart, with me and as I run
into fellow veterans which Ijust ran into one on Friday and
she had just lost her momrecently and just kind of got
discombobulated, but I told heryou know what?
Your mom is right in your heart.
So it's just really it'ssensitive, it's a loss, but when
you think about the old valuesthat you were taught and that is

(05:44):
how I actually raised mydaughters it actually works out
pretty good.
I actually had a greatupbringing, um, even though my
parents got divorced when I wasseven, but up until actually it
was probably, yeah, seven.
So, needless to say, I grew upon a base.
I missed that lifestyle becauseit was not only just, uh,
fellow soldiers or fellowsailors, it was also like a

(06:07):
family Right Beyond the family.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's true, um, and you, you miss it.
Like you get to miss it twice,right Cause you once you were an
adult and kind of left for alittle while and then, once you
finally got out, I remember likethe last day of being on base
was just very strange for me.
But I want to ask a question,and this is going to sound kind
of strange, but, um, first ofall you, would you like me to

(06:31):
get you a tissue?
I'm good, okay, I just want tomake sure I'll go get one.
Um, you know, my, uh, my wifelost her, her mom, when she was
quite young and I remember whenmy wife, like, reached the age
that her mother was, when hermother passed away and it was a
very strange feeling for herbecause she never got to see her

(06:52):
mom be her age Right, and sothere's a lot of things she
didn't get to see and learn.
Do you kind of feel that way?

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I do Sometimes.
My mom was Puerto Rican and anexcellent cook, so I can still
remember the flavors.
In fact, when we, when my dad,was stationed in Roosevelt Roads
, puerto Rico, I rememberwalking across the little rocks
to get to the grandma, tograndma's house, and then you
had to go up the big old stairsand it wasn't really big stairs,
but as a child it was hugeright with the big old canisters

(07:27):
of uh crackers and then youalso the saltine crackers and
then it was the uh, walkingacross the river just to get to
the store and then don't getthem.
Don't go on the mango tree.
If you did, you actually shemade you go get a switch and she
will pop you for the mangoes.
But it was a beautiful um place.
I'm actually going to try toget there next year to visit and
then visit family.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
That's there you know the funny thing about puerto
rico.
So I was.
You know, when I was in thenavy, the the um shooting range
for the ships was vieques island, right and um, I hadn't thought
about it in years, but my songot married a few years ago and
they went, they did, theirhoneymoon was at vieques.
I'm like what and it's allcleaned up and it's a safe place

(08:09):
to be and it's beautiful.
Now, um, but yeah, I was kindof like you're gonna go spend
your honeymoon on a bombingrange.
I didn't realize that they hadtaken care of all that.
I loved Roosevelt Road's, oneof my favorite places to go yeah
, so I get to San Diegoregularly.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
In fact, I'm unfortunately lost a family
member who was an army veteranum this last week, so I'm going
home to for his funeral but.
I always stop at 32nd street,and then I used to work at the
naval medical center, san diego,so it was really nice and it's
still to this day.
I'm always surrounded aroundveterans.
I actually feel comfortablearound the veterans.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
The one thing that's changedabout San Diego, though, is RTC
is no longer there.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, I took my daughter there a few years ago
and I was going to show herwhere I went to basic, but it
wasn't there.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
We used to actually go fishing there and take our
dogs, so where dad instead, ifthey had fleas?
We wouldn't have fleas no more,Cause my dad would pick them up
and throw them into the water,but just to go fishing.
I didn't like fishing and Isure don't like touching worms,
but it was just that bondingtime which was really nice.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah Well, so let's talk a little bit about you.
So you kind of moved around abit Um and uh.
I'm assuming eventually yougraduated school.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
I did.
I graduated from Morris highschool in San Diego Um 1989.
Uh huh.
And then I did do two years ofcollege, um later on in years,
but pretty much, uh, I gotmarried to a veteran actually
two veterans.
And uh, I got married to aveteran actually two veterans
and while I'm no longer married,they moved on.
I moved on and I stayed in thereserve and thank God I did.

(09:50):
I ended up getting 20 yearsactive duty, two years active 18
reserve, and I still have a lotof friends that are from the
service.
So as we see each other runinto each other, it's just like
coming back home.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, the conversation tends to pick up
right where it left off, doesn'tit?
It does, yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
To include going to Italy.
We used to go to Sigonellaevery year so that was nice.
So I did that for five yearsand even going there, some of
the guys are still crazy and westill connect.
One of them is my best friend,so if I need my TV hooked up or
something going on, he knowsabout it.
In fact he actually taught me alittle money trick to where

(10:26):
he's very money savvy and it wasjust say save your dollar bills
, and because it has one through12.
So I would say one, two, three,seven for my grandson now and
10 for the other grandson and 12for me.
So at the end of the year Ihave about eight to $900.
And every year I'm challengingmyself to see how much more I

(10:46):
can get.
But I call it my blow money andso whatever I want to do with
it is what I do with it.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, just put it away and then you've got it.
So tell me, when did you jointhe Navy?

Speaker 3 (10:58):
I joined the Navy February 2nd of 1986.
Okay, I had actually went toNew York so I joined it.
I came in from New York where Iwas dating somebody and I said
I want to join the military.
So I went back home and,needless to say, got home, told
my dad I was what I was going todo.

(11:19):
And then I joined, did twoyears.
I went to Florida Lackland, notLackland, I went to florida
like lack of my black land.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
I went to ntc florida orlando, florida.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
So that was nice.
Uh, while I was there I metsomebody that was one of the
ex-boyfriends friends and hetold me to take up, uh,
chaplain's assistance.
I was like, oh okay, soreligious program specialist it
was, and come to find out evenyears later it is my personality
.
It is about servicing,providing service.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, I think that's a common thread with a lot of
veterans.
That I know is they joined forvarious reasons, but when they
got done they continued to serveas well.
Now Orlando.
At the time, if I'm notmistaken, that was the only
place that women went for basictraining right, it was.
For the Navy.
Tell me a little bit about you.

(12:12):
Grew up in a military family,but what was it like to get to
basic training and to start onthat road of your life there?

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Culture shock, truly a culture shock.
A culture shock when I was, uh,I came up under a very
stringent family.
I won't even say stringentbecause we were actually pretty
good, but it was a culture shockin terms of formation and
structure and of that kind.
We had it at home, but itwasn't to that extent of getting

(12:41):
up moving.
But other than that boot camp,which I didn't like the shorts
and now I don't like them evenmore because they were too short
yeah, but the meeting, somepeople, which one young lady I
ran into her while I was onactive duty years later, and
that was nice lost touch sincethen but it was really really
nice.
Uh, food wasn't all that great,but you know what, at least

(13:03):
your new breakfast was always onpoint.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Right, right.
And I'm just curious too.
You know, having grown up on onbases, it's a different.
It's a different, a wholedifferent ball game when you're,
you know, a dependent andyou're just kind of free to walk
around, do whatever you want todo.
And now you're on a militarybase, but it's not quite that
way.
Was that a little strange foryou?

Speaker 3 (13:24):
it was um it, it was just to the point.
It's like dang, are we gonnafinish, are we gonna finish, I'm
gonna finish.
And then it was.
I had to get my hair cutbecause it fell below my collar
at the time and I I was likedang, that was my first haircut
like that.
It was like Ooh.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
But not exactly a beauty salon, there Was it.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
No, it is not, and very different from what you see
now.
I want to go up to Selfridgeand you seen the young ladies in
the with ponytails that arelong.
I was like we didn't do that,we had to pin it up and I get, I
get the change, because now thealopecia is a big issue.
But it's like, nah, you guysneed to go back to the old
school at least.
Maybe not tighten your ponytailso tight.

(14:05):
But it's that structure thatwas really nice in the uniform
and when you see somebody it wasa proud moment.
To just see somebody in theuniform Now is like we have the
men and I was like, okay, butwhere's the women at?
So just to see the women in theold uniforms and the way we
were square, square, tight wasreally nice.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, I think I thinkwhen you talk so I talked to a
lot of veterans, as you know Ifeel like every generation of
veterans looks at the nextgeneration and there's something
like oh, they don't do likethis, so they don't do that.
Or you know that that was wayeasier.
It's so much easier now than itwas then.
But it's funny because everygeneration of veterans kind of

(14:46):
has that, that outlook, and Ithink maybe a lot of us we don't
like change that much Maybe.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
That is true.
But uh, when you look at thewomen on the Navy side uniform,
I would not want to wear thosecracker jacks and thank God I
didn't have to, but seeing mydaughter in it, it's like girl.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
you look like a boy.
Well, I think you know womenare different than men in
certain respects, and I thinkthe uniforms, maybe should
reflect that it should yeahabsolutely so.
Was your A school then inOrlando as well?

Speaker 3 (15:15):
My A school was in San Francisco, treasure Island,
so eight weeks wasn't bad.
There was an incident wheresomebody had wanted me to drug
mule to New York and I was likeI reported it and I was like ooh
.
So I started walking aroundwith the big old, the white

(15:37):
socks, tube socks with quartersin it, cause he actually told
when I was passing him andanother person, he actually told
the person to hit me.
I was like I wish you would.
But then after that I became alittle bit more hypervigilant.
So, um, not too bad, but it was.
It wasn't the greatest, but wehad a good time.

(15:57):
Um, too bad, but it wasn't thegreatest, but we had a good time
.
Um, still have a couple ofpictures of me behind the
typewriter.
Couldn't type back then, evengoing to active duty, I could.
Only I wasn't even typing 25words a minute, which was part
of my protocol, right, but now Itype over 70 words a minute.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
So like, oh, okay yeah, learn the basics and
you're okay.
I just want to clarifysomething for everyone.
You said you had the whitesocks with change in it.
That was a sock that had moneyin it that was knotted up so you
could use it as a weapon,correct?

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, you weren't walking around with change in
your socks.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Not changing my socks .

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, I just want to make sure people understood what
we were talking about.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
No, my dad always taught me uh, even as a young
kid uh, somebody hit you, grabwhatever you can and knock the
crap out of them.
And that was part of defense.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, no such thing as a fair fight, right, correct,
yeah, use what you can, yeah.
So I'm curiously, somebody'sjust approached you and said hey
, did you mind taking drugs backand forth to new york for us?

Speaker 3 (16:55):
they actually did.
They didn't say drugs, but theyjust said, uh, drop stuff off
and back and forth to New Yorkfor us.
They actually did.
They didn't say drugs, but theyjust said drop stuff off and
back and forth.
So I was like, okay, no, Iain't going to do that.
So I did report it because itdidn't seem right.
I didn't want to tell my dadbecause my dad would have been
up there and come to find out.
I'm like my dad.
When my daughters got introuble or somebody was trying
to bully them, I would be thefirst one there and include

(17:16):
knocking houses, even though Ihad a bad knee.
My attitude is nah, you're notgoing to bully my kids or the
kids that I around with the busstop.
So still have that momentum ofprotect, protect and serve.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Right, so you get to.
How long was your A schoolagain?

Speaker 3 (17:33):
A school was eight weeks Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
And you get through that.
And then do you get your firstassignment?
No, I ended up being on thereserve side.
It was eight weeks, okay, andyou get through that and then do
you get your first assignment.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
No, I ended up being on the reserve side.
I came in on the reservemariners program oh, so I went
reserve first and then came homefor about 30 days and I was
like, nah, this ain't gonnahappen.
Then I went to new york with aguy I was dating.
Uh, sat there two months andthen I was like, okay, nah, it's
time to go on active duty.
So I went ahead and went to arecruiter and went active.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Okay, and they used to have a lot of different
programs too, like the ReserveMariners they had.
What was it?
The TAR program.
They did and all kinds ofdifferent things.
So then you from New York, youwent active duty then.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
I did, but I ended up going back home to be processed
out and then went to Florida.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Okay, alright, and then where did you end up?
In Florida.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
In Florida.
It was Orlando for boot camp.
Once I left boot camp came homeand then I went to Norfolk
Virginia.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Okay, alright, so I want to make sure I get the
timeline right.
So when you went into thereserves, you signed up in the
reserve mariner program first.
Right, okay, and where did you?
So?
Where did does that have abasic training then and all that
?

Speaker 3 (18:48):
Basic training was Florida, orlando, florida, so
you went to.
Orlando for the reserve program.
Nope, I went to Orlando forboot camp, came home, did about
30 days reserve, okay, and thenI went to Norfolk, virginia.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Okay, all right, I just, I was confused.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
I apologize for that.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
No worries, I.
It's Monday morning, soprobably not your fault.
All right, so you end up inNorfolk, virginia, uh, and are
you?
Uh?
Are you on sea duty then, orshore duty?
I was shore duty, okay.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
So in fact I ran into my first suicidal veteran back
then when I was cleaning out thechapel, just went in there for
some reason to do something inthere and there was a young man
who unfortunately lost hisgrandmother and he was
contemplating suicide.
So we talked for a good amountof time, didn't make him come in
and I'm not sure what happenedto him, but we didn't hear
anything bad about anything thathappened suicidal-wise.

(19:43):
So that was good.
So it's kind of funny that nowI've been a peer support
specialist at the Detroit VA,south Carolina, and I still
practice it.
So even though I'm not working,I still practice it.
So now my thing is you know what?
Suicide is not an option for us.
It is about getting the helpthat we need, talking it out,

(20:03):
because that suicidal thought isjust one second or one minute,
but by the time you contemplateit to get into doing it it's all
over.
So the good thing is talk tosomebody.
So that way sometimes it'stalking to people and then we
get our own answers.
Sometimes it just might be aword or two that they give us
that encouragement and to walkus hand, warm us to someone that

(20:26):
can actually help us mentally.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Right, right, which really started out when you were
in Norfolk then.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
So how long were you active duty in Norfolk?

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Two years.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Okay, and so where were you located?
Active duty in norfolk, twoyears.
Okay, and where, so where?
Where was, where were youlocated in in norfolk?

Speaker 3 (20:43):
naval station norfolk .
Okay, so we were, we had thenaval station side and then we
had so had the uh ships on theother side of the base okay and
then we had naval station, navalair station side, so we had had
three sides around us.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah, now, when I was there, I remember I went to Dam
Neck, virginia, for training,which was right across from the
Naval Air Station, and at lunchwe'd get in our cars and go
watch the fighter jets take offand land.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Which is still amazing to see.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
Oh, yeah, that, and those great big giant.
I can't remember what theycalled those planes, but the
huge ones that every time theytook off it looked like they
were going to run right into thedocks, right into the ships,
because they were so big theGalaxy, I think, is what it was
called and they would, the frontend would open up and they
would just load all kinds ofstuff on them.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
I'm used to the backside yeah, back loaders but
in fact actually actually flewon one of my friends.
Um, his unit used to be goingto tampa and, needless to say,
we came back when one oneevening and the flight, as soon
as we landed, all you hear was abig old boom.
And I was like, oh my god, II've always kept my seatbelt on
because I'm somewhat paranoid,especially after I got older,
right?

(22:00):
But uh, the young lady that wasnext to me was next to the door
that actually fell and she wasjust walking up and down back
and forth while the plane wasflying.
But as soon as it landed and itwent, boom, it was like oof.
So I'm still looking to affordto go to space a flight, so I'm
looking for another one forthose.
It would be great.
And then, um, other than thatit was, it's just a great time

(22:22):
being around fellow veteransright, right, so, um.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
So when you got done in norfolk, virginia, though um
did is that did you get out thenand go into the marine reserve,
or how long did you stay onactive duty?

Speaker 3 (22:35):
two years active duty total okay.
Okay, boot camp was two months.
Then I went.
The rest of it was one month inthe reserve and then the rest
of it was active duty and thencame out of active duty, flew
back to San Diego.
Then I was married and thenhusband was at San Diego A
couple of ships and then thesurface warfare.

(22:58):
So went back to San Diego, hadmy first daughter there, left
there, went to Texas, did thereserves in Texas.
Um, met some great, amazingpeople there, left there, went
back to San Diego, left SanDiego, came to Michigan.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Actually, so what brought you to Michigan?

Speaker 3 (23:19):
I was married, but my second husband and second
daughter's father, um, so he wasfrom here so that he could
spend time with our daughter.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
I moved here so was he a military guy.
He was okay, so two militaryguys military guys yeah both,
both navy or both navy okay, allright, so you get back to
Michigan and then, um so when,when would this have been?

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Uh, the second marriage was what?
Uh, wow 2018.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Okay, all right.
And how old are your, yourdaughters?

Speaker 3 (23:52):
My daughters are 36, 30 and 26.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Oh, my goodness, yeah .
So a little bit of a.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Spanned.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, they didn't like necessarily grow up
together then.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
No, they actually.
They actually did it for acertain point.
Yeah.
But after we got divorced andeverybody's on their own little
ways and some of them kept someof my mannerisms and some of
them just went off.
But for me they always know me,as when something happens and
you ask, well, do you want me tocome up there?
Nah, you always go overboardand it's really nope.
Let's get the job done thefirst time so that we don't have

(24:25):
to keep going back.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Right, right.
So you said that you spent 18years in the reserves total.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
I did Okay.
And that was all Marine CorpsReserve, all Navy and two, two
years on, maybe two to threeyears on marine side oh, okay,
all right.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
And did you?
You do the same job that youhad been doing, or were you
doing something different?

Speaker 3 (24:44):
same job but, uh, collateral duties when the
chapel you can't have more thanone person at the chapel plus
the active duty, because thenyou get bored right.
So I started doing a little bitof the medical.
Uh, when I was in san diego Iwould do the medical and just go
do vitals and then I went offto when I got here I was going
into PCSD and doing the adminstuff.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Okay, All right, so keep it busy.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Keep busy.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, and then when did you finally retire?
Did you retire out of thereserves?
Then I did.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
March 2nd of 2006.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Okay, all right, so you had a while to wait before
you could actually collect thatpaycheck, right?

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Finally, I can apply for it in June of next year, so
December 26th I should be ableto collect it.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Okay, I just started collecting mine this year.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Lucky you.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, it was a long, because I retired in 2010.
Wow yeah, so yeah was a long.
X, I retired in 2010.
Wow, yeah, so yeah, a little, alittle while to wait, but hey,
it was worth the wait for sure.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
I'm looking forward to that.
Funds Cause it uh, do somethingelse different in my house.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah Well, the nice thing too is with that
retirement is um benefits.
You know I still get mybenefits from the VA, but
there's, you know, I can go seea civilian doctor using my
TRICARE benefits as well.
So lots of great things happen.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
It is you turn 60.
It truly is.
I actually, when I'm helpingveterans with their service
connections, I just tell themyou know what, especially those
that are working at the VA?
No, make sure you get yourmedical before you, before you
retire, rather as medical, oryou just retire of age and then

(26:23):
you keep your blue cross, blueshield, which is what I did when
I stopped working at the, whenI had an unfortunate medically
retired because my migraines, um, I kept my insurance, so I get
to go both ways, right.
But uh, I had a total kneereplacement a couple of years
ago and, needless to say, I wentoutside and thank God I went
outside.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, I mean, there's certain things I think that the
civilian doctors do a littlebit better.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Way better.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, so when you got to Michigan, did you
immediately start working forthe VA then?

Speaker 3 (26:49):
I did not.
I actually tried to transferhere from the Department of DOD,
department of Defense, workingat the Naval Medical Center, san
Diego, and they never selectedme.
So unfortunately Allen Park hadclosed.
Then they went over to Detroitand I finally did get in so
worked as a peer supportspecialist and needless to say
it's been my also my calling.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
So that's what you've been doing since then.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
Since then, when I had to medically retire, I ended
up just before I went medicallyretired because I became
suicidal with my migraines.
They were so bad that I wasrunning to ER or fast track over
to five days a week, sometimessix days a week.
So I stepped down from the peersupport specialist and then I
went over to the veteransbenefit side.
So I learned all about thecompensations and whatnot and,

(27:36):
um, when I had a medicallyretire, I just uh, try to take
care of myself first, try tomaintain the migraines and get
on some kind of medication thatwas able to help me, and then
from there I uh, from there Imedically retire and then I just
volunteer.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Now, Okay, All right.
And you um?
Were migraines something thatyou had had, or did this just
sort of happen?
At some point you startedgetting them.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
I had them as a kid, and then I had them while I was
on active duty but did not know.
I forgot about the migrainesbecause I was a kid then, right.
But uh, they got more severewhile I was on active duty, even
and to include when we weredoing our PRTs, yeah, and I
would have some massivemigraines, a massive head issues
to where I was even, um,throwing up.

(28:23):
So it did take a couple ofyears for my private doctor to
finally say, oh, these aremigraines.
And then I did not take care ofthem until 2014, after a car
hit me when I was going to theVA for work, and it became every
day.

(28:43):
I was like God, this is crazy.
But Michael Wesner, who's anurse practitioner thank God for
him because he would not let meleave that VA until he did a CT
of my head and after that Istarted coming to find out I had
pseudotumor cerebrii which wascausing me to go blind with
papilledema, and I am having tomedically retire from that part.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Okay, all right, and then you just kind of picked up
and started volunteering.
Then Correct, yeah, and so whatdo you do in your volunteer
role now?

Speaker 3 (29:14):
Rather, if somebody needs some help with their
service connections, I just kindof guide them with what the
process, correct the verbiage aswell as no, that's not right.
This is how you do it.
And then if they need something, I give them the forms.
If I need to tell them to do anintent to file, get their
medical records from active duty, get their history of diagnosis
from the VA or their medicalprivate practice, and then go

(29:35):
see a service officer for therest of it to implement what
they can file for.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Okay Now do you volunteer for a group or a
company, or how does that work?

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Nope, that part is just by itself.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
Okay, but.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
I do volunteer at the Stand Down Southeastern
Michigan Veterans Stand Down,which helps veterans navigate
stigmas of mental health as wellas connect to resources that
are available and the VA, aswell as the benefit side.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Okay, and this happens every year.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Every year Okay.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Now do they do it in other parts of the state too?

Speaker 3 (30:07):
They do.
Actually, they do it around thecountry, so every place is
different depending on who's incharge of it and how the board
runs it, but it's pretty muchthe same purpose to help
navigate, increment weatherresources available to the
veterans connected to the VA,dental as well as the benefit
side.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Because I think a lot of veterans don't realize the
benefits that they have earned.
I think the other thing, too isthis is an interesting question
that comes up a lot Peopledon't realize that they're
veterans.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
you run into that I do, I do, uh, I've even ran into
a gentleman who was a vietnamvet at costco's in livonia.
Actually two of them, two ofthe guys there, one of them he.
He actually told me his planfor suicide.
Um, so I connected and he, Iasked him about a service
connection.
He told he told me where he wasat.
I said, well, let's connect youto somebody.
I asked him about a serviceconnection.
He told me where he was at.
I said, well, let's connect youto somebody that can help you

(31:01):
with that service connection.
And sure enough, he did so.
I saw him months later.
I forgot what he looked like,but he came to me and said thank
you for helping me.
And then he told me.
So to see him still flourishand navigating and getting
connected to the VA and gettinghelp was really amazing.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah yeah, va, and getting help was really amazing.
Yeah yeah, so you um.
So you refer people to the SOSand that sort of thing.
You help them with what they'redoing, but you also refer them
out to uh, uh.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
I did.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Service officers, that kind of thing.
Okay, yeah, I don't mean tojump around, I'm just my brain's
going all over the place here.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
But I only refer to people that I know I would trust
, because bottom line is, whenI'm referring you to somebody
and they're not followingthrough on their end or they're
not that great that comes backto me.
So I still have that pride andthat military pride to help my
fellow veterans.
But make sure that they're notbeing forgotten or forsaken.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
Right and, as with any group, business or whatever
you want to call it, there arepeople who do a really good job
and there are people who don't,and it's important to find the
people who do a really good job,and I think, by and large, our
VSOs are really out there tryingto do a really good job, but,
like any other place, a crosssection of society, so you

(32:16):
really have to do your duediligence.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Very true, very true I found that out myself.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
So I do want to go.
I do want to go back to theveteran thing, though, right,
because you know, I think, a lotof people who served in the
military I and again we'veinterviewed almost 120 people
now and many times people don'tthink of themselves as veterans
because they served for twoyears and they never saw combat,
or you know all of these otherthings, but the truth is you're

(32:42):
still a veteran.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
Very true Right.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
You might not be able to join the VFW because they
have very specific roles, butyou're still a veteran and one
question I always ask people isdid you serve?
And I get I get a lot ofdifferent answers rather than I
just ask if they're a veteran.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
Just from the misconception of what is a
veteran like the VA.
You have to have two yearsafter duty to go to the VA,
right, but if you get a serviceconnection then you could be
seen at the VA for that serviceconnection.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
Right.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
Right, I ran into.
I just went to Savannah tovisit my cousin who's a veteran
because she had surgery.
So I was her plus one for thesurgery.
And I ran into another.
Her neighbor went to the Sam'sClub with me and ran into one of
his friends who's serviceconnected, but he didn't put in

(33:30):
a lot of stuff.
It's like man, no, you qualifyfor this stuff, apply for it,
right.
So he allowed me to put hispaperwork in through the DAV
here and then he has to followup.
Once they do their paperworkhe'll follow up in Savannah to
get his stuff going.
But my thing is no, you got toconnect the stuff for them

(33:50):
because they're notunderstanding the process and
then people will tell them thewrong information.
So it's important to know theright, accurate information and
if you don't know it, guide them.
There are uh different moduleson youtube.
Kmd89, um duane kimball is oneof my favorites and he gives you
the resources.
Does uh, for he does freeclasses where you can learn the

(34:14):
information and support.
So there's veteran programs outhere that are supportive.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Well, and I think, too, that pride plays a role
sometimes in people not wantingto apply for benefits, and I
think it's important that theseare earned benefits.
These aren't handouts.
You know, this isn't somethingthat if I get my benefits,
somebody else doesn't.
You know, if you're a veteranand you qualify for these

(34:42):
benefits and you've earned them,then you should get them.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Very true.
I had to tell a friend whopassed away a couple years back
Danny Lin, a Vietnam vet that no, you've earned these and we did
get it.
By the time just before hepassed away we did get his
benefits.
So now his wife is able to usethat benefit.
Thank God there's even a nurse,a Korean War veteran nurse, and
she wasn't evenservice-connected.

(35:07):
We finally got her up to 90%and she's going to be taking the
honor flight coming up inSeptember.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
And so, yeah, those are really cool too.
I talked to a lot of veteranswho, uh, who, uh, take the honor
flight to DC.
That's quite an honor.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Very and as, uh, if you have not been able to go, I
actually went as a guardian fora Vietnam vet, um, gail Owens,
beautiful person, and, needlessto say, um, um, she asked me to
go.
It was like, hey, no problem,and we've been buddies ever
since.
We actually were buddies beforethat, but it was just an
experience that was um, youcan't even mention it to where

(35:45):
the emotions behind it yeah tosee the names on the wall.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
So very, very exciting yes, yeah, I've talked
to a lot of World War II vetsand a lot of Vietnam vets also
who have participated in that.
It's a really cool thing forveterans to do.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
When we went last year in June it was 150 of us
and totally we exagerated.
We expelled the hours byhundreds.
What was it?
16,000 something hours of allactive duty service oh, wow so
we had cold war, vietnam, korean, a couple of koreans and then

(36:22):
the new age.
So really really nice, verynice experience.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
And if anybody wants to, uh, when they go, go up
there and just do the goodbyeand then receive them when they
come back yeah, yeah wow, butthe priority right now is their
uh korean war veterans and thevietnam vets right, right, and
there's a website I think youcan go to to find out more about
that right correct.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Every state has it.
Um, so you just go to the honorflight in your state and then
they should be able to connectyou to the resources that you
need to get connected to it yeah, so speaking of upcoming
resources, right, we weretalking about the um southeast
michigan, stand down and that'scoming up yes, it's coming up
september 24th and 25th at theuaw uh region one hall um.

(37:12):
They're graciously hosting us,so we're going to try to do an
excellent service this year.
The president is Jeff Devereauxof no Veteran Left Behind and
Evan Welch, which is a hand upBoth non-profit organizations
helping the stand down to runsmoothly.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
UAW Region 1 really supports veterans.
This is not the first thingI've heard of them doing.
They do a lot they do.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Um, we also.
We last, like last year, we hada couple of even from chrysler
coming down and bringingbackpacks and stuff full of
goodies for the veterans.
So that was really nice, butuaw, one is awesome because
they're actually putting usforward into their buildings and
giving us the facility to beable to house our veterans for
the day and even feed them, getthem the resources that they

(37:59):
need and go from there.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, so if you're a Southeast Michigan veteran, that
is going to be September 24thand 25th, from nine to five each
day, right, correct?

Speaker 3 (38:09):
And then registration , though, closes at 1 pm, so
they got to get there before 1to register for that day correct
, but if there's a veteran thatcan't get there until a little
bit after, if they see um thepresident, they'll probably let
them through you're not going tokick anybody out we're not
going to kick anyone out, but asit is a great experience, um,
we have a dj playing music who'sone of the actually he we come

(38:33):
to find out, we actually servetogether on the reserve side oh
and now he's a police officer atthe detroit va, so he's coming
down volunteering his servicesfor us.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Um, just to make it a great time yeah, it sounds like
a lot of fun always fun, alwaysfun well, good, so you know, in
talking with you, it soundslike so you have this
generational service within yourfamily which is, you know, your
father served, and then youserved, and then you got out and

(39:04):
you continued to serve, and soit sounds like you'll be doing
this for a while at least, untilyou just can't anymore.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Until I can't anymore .
And when I have a migraine Ijust kind of pull back, get the
migraine out and then I justkeep moving forward.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yeah, what do they say?
Like, when you're on the plane,you put the mask on yourself
first and then you help otherpeople.
So, yeah, when you're notfeeling it, you got to take care
of yourself.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Very true, I actually call it.
It gives me purpose.
Yeah sitting in front of thefour walls.
You get kind of tired of thatand that's where the depression
sits in.
So getting out volunteering,helping somebody else actually
helps.
I also go to Wayne StateVeteran Upward Bound for
computer classes.
From when I stopped working tocurrent the computer has changed

(39:46):
drastically so it's nice justto go up there and it's free for
veterans and then some of thestudents actually go on to
college.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah, yeah, there's all kinds of stuff out there for
veterans too.
I mean training and socialinteractions, all kinds of stuff
.
So we've covered a lot ofthings in the time that we've
been talking.
Is there anything we haven'tcovered that you wanted to talk
about?

Speaker 3 (40:09):
We haven't covered.
Mvaa, michigan Veteransveterans affairs agency.
There's a women's conferencecoming up in october and those
are nice.
This this would be the fourthyear.
I went to two of them and theywere excellent, nice, different
uh things that they had.
They had one point they haddifferent uh models of therapy
to include non-medicationmeditation sounding.

(40:33):
So which is up here andactually in LA, not LA Lansing.
Lansing has their office herewhere they actually just go and
do a sounding to where you'redoing little sound drums was
really nice, but it gives.
Still again, that's for females.
And then there's differentresources out here to include a
women's standout coming up inDecember in Michigan.

(40:56):
So if they go on Eventbritethey can find that information.
If you go on to MVAA, you canfind out their information and
what's available.
And if any veteran is not awareof the benefits and somebody
else is listening to yourpodcast, then address them to
their state Michigan VeteransAffairs Agency and that can

(41:18):
guide them to the differentresources.
There is no reason why we aresitting out here suffering
because we don't have to.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Right, and I know that the Women's Conference has
always been something that'sreally a lot of the female
veterans that I used to workwith before I retired they would
go to that and it was justamazing the stuff that they
would bring back from there.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
Very true.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Yeah.
So lots of stuff coming up,lots of stuff going on, and it
sounds like you'll be a faceamongst all those people serving
those people serving.
You know, as we kind of winddown our conversation today, I
always ask one question beforewe go, and that question is you
know, years from now, ifsomeone's listening to this,

(42:03):
listening to kind of your life,your story, the things that
you're doing, what would?

Speaker 3 (42:10):
you like them to take away from that.
Whether you're a veteran or not, it's about service.
Continue to serve someone elsethat's in need.
You don't always have to givethem money.
Sometimes it's just listeningto them.
Maybe it might be a resource orconnecting them to a resource.
So if you hear or see somebody,even a homeless person, kind of
guide them to 211, which is aresearch, it's a resource for

(42:37):
information for the.
There's also even a site forsuicide and it's just getting
that veteran connected so thatveteran unfortunately does not
commit suicide, and get them tothe benefits that they need.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
Absolutely All right.
Well, thanks for coming out andtalking with me today.
I really appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
No, thank you.
I love my fellow veterans andit's a way to just promote
what's available for them andhopefully steer someone else
into getting out the house andjust for a few minutes, just to
navigate and socialize withsomeone else.
We don't have to be alone inour homes.
We don't have to be silent ofwhat we're going through.
Somebody else is going throughit and somebody else might have
a resource to connect them tothe benefits that we can all

(43:21):
have earned.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
Thank you.
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