May 17, 2025 • 41 mins
In this raw and inspiring podcast, Jon Wiilde opens up about his life journey for the first time, from learning bass from a blind mentor to overcoming addiction and handling online hate. After eight years as a music teacher, Jon took the leap into full-time music, going viral on TikTok and amassing millions of streams with his unique blend of psychedelic rock, pop, and hip-hop.00:00 Intro01:05 Early Life and Musical Beginnings12:45 Authenticity and Personal Struggles14:46 Sobriety and Substance Use19:32 Embracing the Challenge20:33 Family and Career Balance21:33 Realizations and Foundations22:38 The Importance of Home Life27:12 Signs from the Universe32:03 Navigating Self-Doubt and Creativity34:33 Handling Online Negativity37:16 Future Goals and Aspirations38:56 Advice for Aspiring Artists
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I want to make music and art at the highest level.
I really truthfully feel like I'm here to help in some
capacity and I think music is a catalyst in order for me to do
that. The long term win is your
ability to win on the day-to-daylevel.
You keep thinking that like I can't devote all the time I can
(00:21):
to the career and all the time Ican to family.
Devoting the time to the family is how you are able to do
everything in the career. This is foundation.
So if the people around you aren't good and your family and
your community locally aren't good, you can't build the rest
of it. It's going to everything up.
Your whole life's going to be inshambles.
Do you ever experience hate frompeople?
(00:42):
Jealousy online, in person. Oh yeah, On the Internet, for
sure. Like, I get it.
You see me in the bathtub singing a song and you don't
like it. That's fine.
Like, that's cool, dude. I I can't blame you for that.
Check out John's there. There really is bathtub songs.
And that's the same. Like, I get it dude.
(01:04):
Where are you from? I'm born and raised here in
Sacramento, CA. That's right.
What part? I was, I grew up in Fair Oaks
and I live in Citrus Heights, solittle bit of the the burbs
outside the city. Yeah, Yeah.
OK, Yeah. What was your childhood like?
What's what's couple notable memories?
(01:25):
Childhood was good, man. Yeah, I was blessed without a
doubt. You know, good relationship with
friends, like pretty normal, I think.
Californian childhood, you know,like played sports, skateboard
in the summer. I started getting into music at
(01:48):
a pretty young age. Yeah.
I just was always like drawn to it, which I know is a unique
experience. A lot of people are, you know,
But yeah, even in elementary school, I just like, loved it.
I thought it was so cool. Well, a lot of people are drawn
to it, but not a lot like go forit and say, hey, I want to learn
this, I want to perform this. And then you know what?
(02:09):
I'm going to start putting content out.
How old were you when that when that started?
When you're like, dude, I think I want to perform.
Well, yeah, it's funny in like Iremember in 6th grade at lunch,
my buddy who was my best friend at the time, his name is Jacob
and he was like, we're starting a band just like hell yeah, just
like, you know, none of us know to play thing of had an
(02:30):
interest. You're just like, OK, cool.
And Jacob's like I'll play guitar just like declares it and
you're like cool dude. And I was like, our our buddy
was like, I'll play drums and I'm like, well, my dad played
bass in college, so I'll play bass.
And then Fast forward another like year.
(02:51):
And then for Christmas of 7th grade, I asked for a base for
Christmas. That Christmas morning I opened
up like a box with like a piece of paper that was like you're
getting a base, which was cool because that way they did that
so I can go pick it out, you know what I mean?
So I went to like the local music shop.
It was called Music around. It was like sunrise and Madison.
(03:13):
And I went there and my dad brought me and I picked out like
a pink salmon colored base, which my dad didn't give me any
shit for, which is cool 'cause Ithink most dads would when
you're like 12 year old emo son picks out the pink instrument.
And I got I got that cause Mark hop is from blink 182 at a pink
(03:34):
base and. Love Blink 182?
Dude, Oh my God, just so fuckinggreat.
But that same day my dad also wanted to get me into lessons
because he didn't want like me to fuck around and not learn
anything which. Yeah, we're not doing a pink
bass if you're not going to giveit your all.
You know, and which is again, a blessing that like he was able
(03:55):
to do that. My parents were able to do that.
And that day in like the back ofthe store, there was a bass
teacher and we walked back thereand we like scheduled a first
lesson and the guy was like, well, my lesson didn't show up.
You want to just do it right now.
And and my dad was like, Yep. One of those things like we were
talking about. South Fun fact, my base teacher
(04:17):
who I had for five years, again,blessing.
Great. But totally fucking blind.
Like just legally blind. Like just has the dog.
Like literally like literally blind.
Yeah. Like.
Literally. Blind not.
Figuratively, yeah. Best bass player I've ever met
in my entire fucking life. But like, man, can't see for
shit, you know what I mean? Like his, I saw him through a
couple of different service dogs.
(04:38):
But that day, you know, so we'relike, cool, let's do less than I
go back into the little room. We're sitting there.
He shuts the door. The lights are not on.
And he doesn't know. He don't know I'm 12 and not
like socially I don't know how to.
Is that rude for me to be like hey bro.
(04:59):
Hey, I'm a little freaked. Out Hey, the lights aren't on,
so I didn't say anything and we just like did the lesson.
There was a little bit of light coming through like a window,
but like pretty much the lesson in the dark.
And then I built some rapport with him over the next couple of
months and I had like finally mentioned I was like, hey, bud,
do you know like that first lesson that we did it in the
dark? And he's like, how the fuck am I
(05:21):
supposed to know? And he's like, why didn't you
tell me, bro, 'cause I was terrified.
He's like, he's like, I don't know, turn the light on.
Yeah. Oh, that's good.
Yeah, that's good. So yeah, that was that was kind
of the start. When did you have your first
performance and then and then atwhat point?
(05:43):
Yeah, first performance. And then when did you switch to
like, vocals? Because dude, you have.
Dude, you can. First performance I switched to
vocals but not really but I did which was this like same same
buddy. I had this band with Jacob.
His parents were doing dude. I don't know if it was like an
anniversary party or what, but it was like his mom and his
(06:04):
stepdad. And they were like doing some
sort of like, I swear, it was like an anniversary party.
I can't even remember. And maybe it was genuinely like
a wedding. I, I don't even know.
But it was at their house. And they're like, yeah, dude,
Jacob's band, our band, they're going to play some song.
And so we started like rehearsing a couple covers and
nobody, nobody wanted to sing None of us.
(06:27):
Well, yeah, set a nuts factor. There, yeah.
Nobody wanted to sing. And they're just like, OK,
you'll you'll do it. Right.
And I'm like, I mean, I guess. And so, like, in my first live
performance ever was like a realrough cover of Ramon's
blitzkrieg box. Oh, wow.
(06:47):
OK. We played at this.
Yeah. Wedding Recept.
I don't know what to call it. Anniversary party, something
like that. That's awesome.
So yeah, thrown into the fire vocally.
Kind of the only way to do anything in life, right?
I think so. Get tossed in the ocean.
Yeah, and I in a weird way too. I think that kind of looking
back on it, like that's a reflection of pretty much how I
(07:10):
ended up doing anything at all in terms of like music, Like I
felt like everything I was doingwas out of necessity.
And what I mean by that is like,I started learning more
instruments because I, I like them, but also like, I felt the
(07:31):
need that like, if that, if thatrole needs to get filled in
whatever capacity and service tosomebody else, I'll be able to
do it. And then I started like learning
how to sing and that was becauselike, I wanted to do like
background vocals for somebody. And then I wanted to learn how
to like engineer and make records because like paying for
it is expensive and crazy. And I'm like, I think I can do
(07:53):
something I'm into and I can do,and I can again, like be in
service to people's projects andpeople's art.
And then that became like, well,I started producing and making
beats also for like that same reason.
And then I started like singing and doing melodies on those
beats because the productions I was doing with certain people I
feel like weren't good enough. And there's only so much you can
(08:17):
do when you're like in the background.
And so everything felt like justa serious need to be like in
service to this greater thing. The greatest thing of creating
music? Music, art, dislike, however you
want to. Like, I kind of think of it as
like an offering in like a really deep way, but I'm only
going to talk about that, you know, and, and for most people,
(08:39):
'cause they're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's a song. Yeah.
So everything kind of. Can you explain that a little
bit? Sure.
Yeah, I'd love to hear. That yeah, I mean it's just like
this is there was nothing here and now there's something and
when you treat it honestly and truthfully, there's a resonance
(09:03):
to it with other people. And I think that thing that can
bring people together and connect them like that's kind of
our whole jam as people, you know what I mean?
Like that's community. That's that's what it is, you
know, And so it's music is one way to do that, you know, and
it's all the same thing where there's.
(09:24):
It's kind of the biggest way because it's, it's a universal
language. It, it her transcends, you know,
race, gender, yeah, political views or whatever.
Tons of people can like the samemusic.
Yeah, it's a weird thing that we're into.
Like I think about it sometimes.I'm just like, it's just like
frequency and sound and resonance and rhythm and like.
(09:46):
We're just feeling it. Yeah, and it's like it's so
unique to us and it's so weird that we love it.
And it's also so weird that there's so much of it that all
of us really don't like and hate, you know what I mean?
Like, and people are like, I like everything.
You're like, there's a / 100,000songs uploaded the day to
Spotify. I promise you don't like
everything, bro. There's a lot of ass music,
(10:07):
which is cool. I'm not knocking it.
But like, you don't like everything, but the things that
you do a lot of times, I think mean a lot, you know?
And they don't have to. It's cool to have fun.
It's cool to just like, fun is abeautiful thing.
It doesn't have to be some deep shit, but that's powerful too,
you know? So when you talk about honesty
(10:29):
and reverence behind your music,do you mean the intention you're
putting into it? What do you mean by?
That I don't even know if it's intention, but like honesty.
Yeah, honesty is a weird thing to describe because it doesn't
mean the lyrics have to be honest.
It doesn't mean it has to be a true story.
I just think of it like, I don'tknow how to describe it other
than like the truth and it's just that feeling.
(10:53):
Authentic maybe? It's that authenticity that like
you just, it's that feeling of connection.
I think that's what it is. You know what I mean?
Like I think there's been a lot of times in my life and I'm sure
for so many others that like I just don't feel in tune with
what's happening around me. Whether it's the people, whether
it's an environment, whether it's something.
But like a song comes on, I'm listening in the car or the
(11:15):
headphones or whatever. And like all of a sudden I like,
I don't feel alone. I feel like I'm a part of
something or I, I feel like I'm enveloped in this fucking world
that got created that just like,isn't that a trip somebody?
Trip you've never met anywhere can get a mic and an instrument
(11:35):
and create something that when you hear it a whole world away,
it affects your brain chemistry,you know, gives serotonin or
dopamine or you feel love, you know, or excitement.
And I, I feel like I've gotten to know so many great people
that I've never met before, but I just know them through their
(11:56):
art and their music. And then it's like maybe they do
something crazy or outlandish inpublic or on a celebrity level
or whatever. And I'm like, I don't even think
that's the fucking reality or truth short of like really
fucked up shit. Like I think that like the thing
they sweat and toil over and they put their fucking hearts
(12:17):
and souls into song after song, album after album.
Like that's the, that's them, you know what I mean?
Like, yes, it's art, yes, it's an expression, but like, that's
how they're feeling, you know what I mean?
And I'm like, I think that's us being able to like take the good
out of people, you know what I mean?
Like, and take it for what it is.
(12:37):
And I think people get caught upin that shit, 'cause I don't
know, man. Like that's, that's their
contribution to humanity in a lot of ways.
I like that. Yeah, we were talking
authenticity. Dude, you're you are very
yourself. Appreciate.
It. I don't know how to be anything
else. Yeah.
Well, it's that's a natural giftyou were born with then, because
people crave that and people crave being authentic
(12:59):
themselves. And it's hard to do that.
The first thing you have to do is know yourself.
What do I like? What are my desires?
What kind of foods do I like? What kind of art do I like?
Music? What kind of movies do I like?
You start there and if you spendtime there, you'll be around
other people with the same interests and then you go from
there and then you attract people who are authentic and,
but most people don't know how to be authentic.
(13:20):
And then we're constantly given content that we're supposed to
like through. And I'm not saying this is a bad
thing, you know, it's just how things work.
We're given content that we're told to like.
And so a lot of people fall intowhat everyone else is liking and
they don't really know themselves and they're exhausted
after social situations, exhausted after work 'cause
they're basically playing a role.
(13:40):
You negated that whole thing. I I, I appreciate that.
Yeah. I, you know, honestly, I think
it kind of stems from like, you know, to be real, like I growing
up never really felt like I fit in all the way pretty much
anywhere. And it's not that like, I mean,
dude, like I got, I'm blessed come from loving parents, loving
(14:02):
family, friends. I mean, like my girl loves it.
Like the love is there. You know what I'm saying?
Like it's not like I'm alone on a rock, but I just I never felt
like I fit in with like the the mold of this circle, that
circle, whatever it. Is.
I just, yeah, like I never not, I'm always not all the way in,
you know what I mean? But like, I think growing up
(14:24):
like that, I just got kind of good at like whatever the fuck
this is, is what it is. And I like a lot of stuff and I
do a lot of stuff and whatever. Yeah, again, whatever it is, it
is. And the more I say fuck it, like
I think the better things kind of just work for sure, you know
what I mean? Like, yeah dude, that's awesome.
(14:46):
So you're sober? Not really, I mean I don't I no
I wouldn't say I'm sober I just don't.
I just haven't had a drink in like 6 years.
OK. The way I like to think about it
is like I like doing the drugs that won't ruin your fucking
life. It pretty much sums it up for
me. So not cocaine.
I don't. I don't.
(15:06):
Yeah, I've never done coke. Hasn't happened once.
Yeah. Never done coke.
And then you could list all the other hard ones.
I haven't done those either. Yeah.
So just like the fun stuff that like for the most part comes out
of the ground besides like acid,Acid don't come out of the
ground, but acid won't ruin yourlife.
Well, it technically came from some kind of plan.
(15:28):
At some point we synthesize it. We could bend the.
Rules there, Yeah. So Albert Hoffman Shit, yeah.
Yeah, the the serotagenic psychedelics like you can't
really abuse those, you know, you.
You have a big it has to be likesome crate like you have to be
like, do you know what a thumbprint is?
No, so a thumbprint is like thisis on some like super heady like
acid dealer thing where it's like there are like, I forget
(15:51):
how they make it, but like it's just like you pretty much
synthesize like a few like pagesworth of acid into like a
singular like liquid pool. You know what I mean?
Because it's like it's measured in micrograms and then you take
your thumb and you like press into it.
And so then like you're trippingfor like.
And it absorbs through your thumb.
Yeah, that's terrifying. Yeah, I mean, like, I don't
(16:12):
think anybody enjoys it, you know what I mean?
If you do, that's when you're like, seems like you're really
out of touch with reality, my dude.
Don't plan on doing that. Yeah, that sounds like it's
going to fuck some shit. Up How come you don't drink?
Was is it always like that? You just didn't.
Like it dude, No, it wasn't eventhat.
I mean, like, I was lucky I didn't have like a problem or
(16:32):
nothing, which was cool. I did the same thing we've all
done, which is I woke up hungover one day and was like,
I'm gonna fucking chill for a second.
Yeah, this is bullshit. This fucking sucks.
I'm going to chill for a second.And then like, genuinely, that
snowballed from like a day to a couple of weeks till like, all
(16:54):
of a sudden I was like a month in and a month in, I was like, I
feel really. Good.
You stay off that stuff, booze for 60 to 90 days, you will feel
completely different. Your complexion changes your
eyes, creativity comes back. That stuff's.
It's nuts. And like The thing is too, and
this is going to sound heavy butI don't want it to, but like
(17:14):
this is what it is like you know, like I, you know, at this
time too, it's like, you know, I'm in my early, early mid 20s
and like I remember distinctly like 4 weeks in of not drinking.
I just remember feeling like, bro, the amount of like heavy
suicidal thoughts, which like I was never going to do anything.
(17:37):
It never felt like that. I never felt like I was going to
like I was really at that level,but I just thought about it all
the time. I just thought about what if I
did this? What if I did that?
What if I jumped here? Whatever.
That shit just like plummeted, dude.
It was just kind of gone. And I'm like beer, I did that.
Like that's crazy, bro. That's enough.
(17:58):
To leave that alone. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, it
was, yeah, it was cool. So it's been.
And then it just kind of snowballed and all of a sudden
it's been like 6 years and things been going good.
So fuck it, yeah, you know. Hell yeah.
Absolutely yeah. Is that ever challenging in the
music industry? Like, not just.
Alcoholic. Drugs.
Nah. Not for me.
I don't know, like for other people maybe, but I think it
(18:19):
goes back to the other thing where I'm like, I'm just cool
with me. Your drug is authentic as it is.
Bro, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to be at the
party probably anyways and not like in a this sort of way, but
I'm just like, it's just usuallynot my jam, you know what I
mean? Like unless the party's like
bitching. But yeah, if it's just like a
bunch of people hanging out getting fucked up, which is
(18:40):
great talk, but I'm like, what we doing, you know, like and
it's like, but that same. But like, at the same time, I
know that most people don't wantto do what I do in terms of
like, dude, if I set aside a day, I get maybe a good, you
know, this is not a, this is nota every weekend occurrence or
even every month occurrence. Just clarify, you know, but like
(19:00):
I set aside a day, I get the studio set up how I like it.
Da da da da da. Things are cool, like feeling
good. And I'm like, OK, turn the phone
off, let me eat like 8 grams of mushrooms and we're doing it and
like dive into these speakers and and play guitar for fucking
six hours and all that. Like, I love that.
(19:21):
And that for me is like very therapeutic and I'm checking in.
So it's just fun as fuck with like there's, there's usually
some shit there too that you gotto deal with and face.
Yeah, but that goes S real quick.
Yeah, but like, I love it. Like it's just so good.
Like I like that point. How much can I endure you?
Know, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Like, so like, but most people don't want to do that and that's
(19:43):
cool too, you know what I mean? Like, it's a lot, you know,
like, most people don't want to hang out in front of speakers.
For but if you can get a black belt in that, you really can.
You see what it's about. You're like, oh, this isn't
about the distraction of I'm in a rainbow and look at the
fractals. It's actually about connecting
with yourself and then tapping into this.
Whatever collective consciousness, higher self,
(20:03):
where ideas can flow through andyou can use your brain in a
completely different way and come up with art and songs and
things like that. Like last year, for example,
which is like the last time I like tripped on mushrooms, which
is like about a year ago. So that's for reference to like
that. I know I got the mushroom belt
but like it's not a. It's not an every month, every
(20:24):
quarter. For that level, that level of
dosage, it isn't, you know, so like.
To mention, you learn so much about like yourself and the
universe, it takes a long time to integrate that.
So like last year, you know, a little background, my, my dad
has this autoimmune disease and him and my mom moved to Colorado
(20:44):
for three months for him to do atrial, a medical trial for
treatment for that disease. So they were gone for like the
summer of last year. And I kind of my part in that
was like, I'll watch and take care of their house, you know,
and me and my girl, we live together.
So I'm like spending a few nights there at that house,
spending a few nights at home, but I like built out and set up
(21:07):
the studio in the back of the house there.
And you know, it was like I had just dropped a project of mine
that was that it really meant a lot.
You know, I dropped them off at the airport five days after
that, which was the 4th of July.I set up the studio, kind of
built it all out. And then like maybe that same
week I was like, let's eat 8 grams of mushrooms in my
(21:30):
childhood home and see what happens.
And dude, I like, I, I had all these realizations that like,
because it was like, I'm thinking about my life and I'm
thinking about it in the sense of like me dropping my dad off
at the airport might have been the last time I saw him.
(21:50):
Like there's a chance he's goingto die doing this.
Like it's. Childhood.
Home and I'm like at home and I'm thinking about like my woman
who I've been with for at the time, you know, four years, give
or take. And it's like, am I stepping up
all the way there as much as I can too?
And like I start thinking too ina sense of like what I want to
(22:10):
do career wise and music and allthat.
And I'm like, bro, like you keepthinking that these are like
separate things. You keep thinking that like, I
can't devote all the time I can to the career and all the time I
can to family. And I'm like, bro, devoting the
time to the family is how you are able to do everything in the
career. This is like the home base.
This is ground, this is foundation.
(22:33):
You cannot build a house withoutlike sturdy concrete foundation.
So if the people around you aren't good and your family and
your community locally aren't good, you can't build.
The rest of it is going to fuck everything up.
Your whole life's going to be inshambles.
You can't hit your highest vibration at the main people
you're spending time with at home is something's not.
(22:54):
Right. None of it matters.
Like none of it fucking matters.And like the answer of
everything you want to do is like literally right here in
your backyard. Like you can do this.
And you are making these recordsand building these connections
with the people around you, literally from the backyard you
grew up in. And you can fucking do that.
And so there was I, I cried a lot.
It was cool, like in a good way.And I just, I was just like, I
(23:17):
felt like I saw my life in termsof like how I can do this.
And I'm like, I'm here to help the people around me.
And I don't, I don't know exactly all the ways I'm going
to do that. But like, I do feel like it is
through music because it's something bigger and greater
than myself. It's bigger and greater than all
of us. And it's like, it's through
that, that all these other things get to work out.
So it's symbiotic. You take care of the people and
(23:40):
it'll take care of that, and youtake care of this and it'll take
care of that. You know, like, and it just felt
like the truth. It is the truth dude.
I didn't learn this till like 2 years ago.
I did so I did corporate sales along time.
High pressure just yeah, eats you alive.
Quota. Yeah.
I thought this was secondary. And by this I mean the home
(24:01):
life, the family life, the health of the family life, how
you're treating them, how you'retreating public.
Hey, if the bills are paid like we're good, cool.
That's not how it works. That that's not at all.
Not at all. Not at all, bro, No.
And then I left that and I realized these people don't even
like me. Like they don't care about if
the ATM card swipes or not. You know I've got some damage to
(24:23):
repair here. So that's such a beautiful
realization to have, you know, because it's like, I think too,
like I've seen, you know, families or friends where like
they grow up and like things aren't stressful financially,
which is a blessing. But like, it don't feel like the
love is as as as connected as itcould be for that family or that
(24:43):
unit, you know? And again, who am I to judge?
Not my place, but like, it's a reality, you know what I mean?
And it's like you hear it all the time too, with artists that
are like, I spent my whole life,I spent 20 years building and
grinding to be like the biggest artist in the fucking world.
And I finally got there and thathole that I was trying to fill
(25:07):
is still empty. Damn, isn't that the truth?
Man, and I'm like and to me, even though I haven't been there
yet, like and I hope in that very specific scenario I don't
want to be there at all, but like, it makes sense.
Those are not the same thing bro.
That's work, you know, Like that's not love and family.
(25:28):
And like, again, the people around you, like all the other
shit, just like, doesn't matter.I don't even think you can
properly perform if your home life isn't right, if you're not
treating your kids right and your dogs right and you're not a
good husband or or boyfriend or whatever it is.
Everything kind of stems from there.
So your agree, your, your foundation's cracked and
crumbled and now you're going togo out and try to be a
(25:49):
professional somewhere people feel.
That, yeah, 'cause I think, you know, you win in you, the long
term win is your ability to win on the day-to-day level, right?
And so if your day-to-day is chaotic due to your home life
not being what it should be, you're going to get burnt out.
(26:09):
You can't win in that long run. But if your day-to-day rhythm is
steady and it's balanced and you're able to like chip away
and do the work you need to do on top of like everything being
good, I just think that like thecumulative, the edition of all
those good days put together hasto be a great result.
(26:30):
It has to be. Dude, I love it.
Family first. It's important.
I mean, that's, that's what we're here for.
It is how can you truly help people with music if your
family's not being helped by you?
Yeah, I mean, you know, and like, again, everybody's journey
is their own and there's so manyartists that like fair and
they're like, I mean the, the, the foundation of like
(26:52):
rock'n'roll is like hating your father, you know what I mean?
Like it's daddy issue for sure. It's a bunch of fucking rock
singer with dad problems, you know, but like, so like there,
there is something to be said. But again, I think that, you
know, it doesn't necessarily mean it equates to joy.
It equates to happiness. On the note of expanding
awareness to various means, we were talking a little bit about
(27:13):
out there about when you're chasing something or when you're
creating something or trying to move towards a goal in life.
If you slow down and look around, you can see like signs
or nods from the universe as youdescribed it.
Tell me a little bit about that.Where it when you first noticed
that we got the tap sure tappingthe brains going no you.
(27:33):
Can no. Yeah, I.
I shouldn't have. Done that.
No, you're good. No, I tap a lot.
So I Yeah, the nods from the universe are.
I mean, they're real because theway I look at it is.
Oh, it's real. A lot of times on like they come
(27:54):
up, you're really hoping for like this big fucking snap of a
moment, viral moment that's going to change your fucking
life. I think most people's journeys
don't have that exactly. And maybe there is one, you
know, maybe there is a big pivotal thing.
(28:16):
But if you're open to seeing like the small signs, I think
they could be really powerful, you know what I mean?
Because it's like the way I lookat it too, is like, bro, there's
been times where I like, you know, I put out a song and, you
know, maybe it doesn't stream asmuch as I want to, whatever the
fuck that means. But like.
(28:36):
I'll tell you what it means. I want to see a million hits in
one day. Exactly.
That'd be nice. But like you get a message from
somebody about like, you know, like I put out a song called
family things, you know, and like people would message and
say things just like, bro, my, my dad's going through cancer
and da da da da da had this battle and this song fucking
meant and I just can't. And I just cried in the fucking
(28:58):
car and all these and you're like, that's huge.
That's crazy. Makes it all worth it.
Beautiful. And you're like, bro, like
that's amazing, you know? And even if it's not that
direct, is another person reaching out and saying
something. There's just so many things
along the way. So a little nod of affirmation,
basically like, hey, continue this way, it's helping people.
For sure, yeah. And I, I just also feel like,
(29:22):
you know, like, yes, I, I feel like I show up everyday in some
capacity to whatever it is I'm going for, but also like the
things that seem to work out andhappen in life happened like
really fucking organically and like things I wasn't pushing or
really forcing out. Like, bro, like, you know, I
(29:44):
went on the road last year, which was a blessing, but like
how that happened really, Because it was like my friend,
his name is Party Alone. Very talented artist, super
great guy. I know who it is he was.
I don't know him. I know his profile.
He was going on tour. They announced his tour and
dude, Bugbee calls me and he's like, yo, so party's going on
(30:06):
tour and I'm like, I don't fucking know bro.
Like what are you talking about?And he's like, dude, he just
post about it. He's going on the tour and he's
like, bro, like are you going? And I was like, I don't even
know that there's a tour. I got the time because he
apparently just posted. I was like, I don't even know
what you're fucking talking about, dude.
I have no idea. And I was like, so no, I have no
plan. And he's like, bro, you should
see if you can like hop on. And I'm like, that's a great
(30:27):
idea. And in my head I'm like, oh, I
bet I can do this. I'm like, let me talk to them
and see if I can go on the road and open up.
But also I'll play guitar and help build out his set.
So like, they get to do that, but I get to be open up on the
road. And like, I hit them with that
(30:48):
and they were like, that's kind of a great idea.
And I'm like, I think it's a great idea too.
And it's been working out and itwas great.
And then I got to go on the road, you know what I mean?
And it's like, in a weird way. Did I actively chase after that?
Yes. But the intention was to be
helpful. The intention was to be helpful
and also like it really happenedbecause like my friend called
(31:09):
me. It was like it wasn't, it wasn't
some scheme or idea I made-up. He just called me and was like
bro, and I'm like that's a good idea.
Like just let shit happen. You know what I mean?
Like. It's hard because the tendency,
you know, especially if you haveany Dr. ambition, work ethic, if
you're trying to move something forward in life, at least for
me, I want to squeeze it and push it and just let's shove
(31:33):
this forward and it just slows it down and people get hurt,
people get rubbed wrong and you don't get to the destination
that you that you really should be at it.
Just you got to let. But that it takes faith to just
lay back and say, OK, let me follow whatever road map the
universe opens up for me. For sure.
It takes faith because you don'tsee it.
(31:53):
It's literally the unknown. I I want to push that way and
when you don't know the that way, that's uncomfortable just
sitting in that. No, it's real, man.
Yeah, you know, so. Do you ever experience self
doubt in in being so much yourself?
Doesn't sound like it. You've been rocking John Wild
for a long time. Yeah.
(32:14):
I mean, I don't know if I'd callit self doubt, you know, but I
think where that maybe comes in is what I would call like
editing and curating. And when it comes time to like
making musical projects, I thinkpart of the work after maybe
like a very prolific period of creation and having a lot of
(32:37):
music, having a lot of songs, a lot of ideas, is then narrowing
that down and kind of like killing some darlings and like
getting it to where it needs to be.
And there's a little bit of doubt in that process because?
Wondering if you're killing the gold nugget?
You mean? Yeah, I mean it it.
And it's also like, you know, for myself personally, how do I
word this without being incotistical?
(32:58):
Like, I feel like I explore and I'm able to make music in a lot
of different directions and genres and things, and I don't
really think about it. I don't really think about it in
that way when I'm making stuff. I just make stuff.
But then again, when it comes time to like curating something
together, which is like the finishing part, there is a,
there is an aspect that's like, let's see if we can hone some
(33:18):
things together. And part of me is like, well,
maybe I can just let it all out and all be a thing and see what
that is. And that sounds really
beautiful. But I, I at the same time, like,
I don't know, I, I, I really value, like being able to live
into a project. I really value like this idea
of, of a thing being a thing, you know what I mean?
(33:42):
So there's, there's a little bitof, I don't know if I'd call it
doubt in that process because I trust myself through it and I
trust whatever's going on to do it.
And I think also, like, if thereis moments of insecurity, like I
also trust that the people around me, whether it's them or
like just what I feel like is a message coming through them from
(34:02):
something bigger. Like I let that shit resonate
and happen too. You know what I mean?
So I think communication happensin more than one way.
Yeah. I don't I don't know if that
answers your question. But no, it does cool.
You do, but you just stay true to yourself and keep moving
forward. And yeah, like, override it.
It's like either way, I just don't know what it's going to
be, whatever it is, you know what I mean?
(34:24):
So whether I doubt it or not, like fuck it, you know, like I'm
still going to make records. I'm still going to put them out.
It's just like how I am, you know?
Do you ever experience hate frompeople?
Jealousy online, in person. Oh yeah, on the Internet for
sure. Damn that.
No, it's cool. It's funny.
(34:44):
How do you handle that? Does it?
Does it affect you? Usually I I'm like over the top.
Show them love. Yeah, no, I mean like, because
it's not a reflection of me, right?
It's a reflection of them, you know what I mean?
And it's like, and I don't try to say that from like up here on
a pedestal, but I'm like, bro, I've never commented A hateful
fucking Internet comment ever a day in my life, bro.
(35:07):
I why would I do that? That such seems like such a
waste of time. So something's going on in that
person's life. So like.
That's amazing. So you try to have compassion to
count. Yeah, like, it's all good.
And sometimes some shit's just, like, funny and that's cool.
Like the amount of times that like, I've gotten like, bro,
(35:27):
when did Steven Tyler and Weird Al have a baby?
And I'm like, that shit's funny,bro.
Like some shit gets me. And I'm like, there's nothing
wrong with being funny. That's cool.
But some shit's just like, you're fucking terrible.
And you're like, dude, I love you and I hope you have a
wonderful day. That's awesome.
You know what I mean? Like, hey, man, you know, it's
all good. And there's been so many times
(35:47):
too where I say some stuff like that because the other side of
it is this weird thing that happens psychologically when
people comment negative shit. They don't realize that the
person on the other end is that person.
They think of like that video aslike an object or they think of
it maybe as like this was on a fucking meme page or something.
I don't know. But they comment something and
(36:08):
you're like, this dude is da da,da da.
And you're like, what do you have this dude?
I'm right fucking here. Just notified my phone as.
You really did. I made this and and I'll
respond. I.
Never thought about that. It's almost a deep like they de.
Dehumanized. Dehumanized.
Yeah, yeah, which is cool, man, it's the Internet, I get it.
(36:28):
But like I will see that and I'll comment something coming
with compassion and the amount of times too that like that
person's been like, hey, bro, I I'm sorry, that wasn't cool and
like you're cool as fuck for saying something.
Life was just like nice and and then they like will follow me
and you're like, that's crazy. How did that happen?
(36:50):
They. Feel the love, dude.
Yeah, that's awesome. And it's just like, again,
awesome, I'll get you start to rehumanize some shit.
And people are like, Oh yeah, you're like a person.
And I'm like, yeah, if you met me in real life, it'd probably
be all good, you know? But like, I get it.
You see me in the bathtub singing a song and you don't
like it. That's fine.
Like, that's cool, dude. I I can't fucking blame you for
that. And check out check out John's
(37:11):
shit there. There really is bathtub songs.
And that's the same. Like, I get it dude.
So where do you want to go with all this dude?
What are the What are the goals?My thing really is like I just,
I want to play as many shows as I possibly can and I want to
(37:36):
make music and art at the highest level.
And in order for me to do that, I think it'll require some
resources that I haven't fully required yet acquired.
So it is about like building a this art and career and business
to a certain extent in order to do that.
But like at the end of the day, it's really just about like
(38:00):
doing this enough that like, if I can do this and the family
also be good. So whatever capacity that the
art lives at, cool, You know, and even more so than that.
And I think the main thing, and I was talking about this earlier
today is like, I really truthfully feel like I'm here to
(38:22):
help in some capacity. And I think music is a catalyst
in order for me to do that, Not just necessarily for the people
around me, but like, I think themusic can be something bigger
and deeper for other people. And if it is cool, if it's not,
that's OK too. It's not up to me.
But yeah, man, I just want to help And and in any way we can
(38:47):
leave this a more enjoyable space for the for other people.
Beautiful, you know. Very beautiful, dude.
That's sick man. Thanks man.
Anything else you want to? You want to tell people?
Any stories, input, advice? Young artists, Aspiring artists,
People too scared to be artists.Or anything I mean.
(39:11):
Whatever that was, that's that'sthe one.
Just like, well, I was going to say no, I'm like, I think it's
just whatever you're doing is probably right.
I don't know, like just you got to let it happen, you know?
I know that's some hippie ass advice, but I'm just like such a
fan of it, you know, like if yougot to work through a bunch of
(39:32):
terrible shit right now, like and it feels bad, let it feel
bad. Don't fight it.
Like let shit be terrible for a little bit and like get yourself
out of it. It'll happen, you know what I
mean? Like I'm just, I'm just such a
believer in that. Like the more people try to
control shit I just, it seems like life stresses you the fuck
(39:57):
out you know? So like if you can learn to let
go. And flow.
Yeah, you know, because I say all that and I don't mean like,
don't fucking. Like don't do anything.
Yeah, don't. I don't mean like don't not
drink water and don't not like pay your rent, you know, if you
got rent. Like I just mean like every
(40:18):
moment of your day you probably spend trying to control how the
day is going to go and just let that shit happen.
That's cool bro. I like I like another part too.
Like if you're going through a hard time, that's part of life.
Like remove the connotation of this is a bad experience and
this is just a human experience.And if you can have faith that
(40:41):
something goodwill come from this and it's temporary, that's
a great place to be when you're encountering hard times in life
that are for sure going to come.Nobody's immune to it.
Yeah, you're good, dude. Dude, thank you for having.
Me man, thanks. For having me man.
Great time dude.
I want to make music and art at the highest level.
I really truthfully feel like I'm here to help in some
capacity and I think music is a catalyst in order for me to do
that. The long term win is your
ability to win on the day-to-daylevel.
You keep thinking that like I can't devote all the time I can
(00:21):
to the career and all the time Ican to family.
Devoting the time to the family is how you are able to do
everything in the career. This is foundation.
So if the people around you aren't good and your family and
your community locally aren't good, you can't build the rest
of it. It's going to everything up.
Your whole life's going to be inshambles.
Do you ever experience hate frompeople?
(00:42):
Jealousy online, in person. Oh yeah, On the Internet, for
sure. Like, I get it.
You see me in the bathtub singing a song and you don't
like it. That's fine.
Like, that's cool, dude. I I can't blame you for that.
Check out John's there. There really is bathtub songs.
And that's the same. Like, I get it dude.
(01:04):
Where are you from? I'm born and raised here in
Sacramento, CA. That's right.
What part? I was, I grew up in Fair Oaks
and I live in Citrus Heights, solittle bit of the the burbs
outside the city. Yeah, Yeah.
OK, Yeah. What was your childhood like?
What's what's couple notable memories?
(01:25):
Childhood was good, man. Yeah, I was blessed without a
doubt. You know, good relationship with
friends, like pretty normal, I think.
Californian childhood, you know,like played sports, skateboard
in the summer. I started getting into music at
(01:48):
a pretty young age. Yeah.
I just was always like drawn to it, which I know is a unique
experience. A lot of people are, you know,
But yeah, even in elementary school, I just like, loved it.
I thought it was so cool. Well, a lot of people are drawn
to it, but not a lot like go forit and say, hey, I want to learn
this, I want to perform this. And then you know what?
(02:09):
I'm going to start putting content out.
How old were you when that when that started?
When you're like, dude, I think I want to perform.
Well, yeah, it's funny in like Iremember in 6th grade at lunch,
my buddy who was my best friend at the time, his name is Jacob
and he was like, we're starting a band just like hell yeah, just
like, you know, none of us know to play thing of had an
(02:30):
interest. You're just like, OK, cool.
And Jacob's like I'll play guitar just like declares it and
you're like cool dude. And I was like, our our buddy
was like, I'll play drums and I'm like, well, my dad played
bass in college, so I'll play bass.
And then Fast forward another like year.
(02:51):
And then for Christmas of 7th grade, I asked for a base for
Christmas. That Christmas morning I opened
up like a box with like a piece of paper that was like you're
getting a base, which was cool because that way they did that
so I can go pick it out, you know what I mean?
So I went to like the local music shop.
It was called Music around. It was like sunrise and Madison.
(03:13):
And I went there and my dad brought me and I picked out like
a pink salmon colored base, which my dad didn't give me any
shit for, which is cool 'cause Ithink most dads would when
you're like 12 year old emo son picks out the pink instrument.
And I got I got that cause Mark hop is from blink 182 at a pink
(03:34):
base and. Love Blink 182?
Dude, Oh my God, just so fuckinggreat.
But that same day my dad also wanted to get me into lessons
because he didn't want like me to fuck around and not learn
anything which. Yeah, we're not doing a pink
bass if you're not going to giveit your all.
You know, and which is again, a blessing that like he was able
(03:55):
to do that. My parents were able to do that.
And that day in like the back ofthe store, there was a bass
teacher and we walked back thereand we like scheduled a first
lesson and the guy was like, well, my lesson didn't show up.
You want to just do it right now.
And and my dad was like, Yep. One of those things like we were
talking about. South Fun fact, my base teacher
(04:17):
who I had for five years, again,blessing.
Great. But totally fucking blind.
Like just legally blind. Like just has the dog.
Like literally like literally blind.
Yeah. Like.
Literally. Blind not.
Figuratively, yeah. Best bass player I've ever met
in my entire fucking life. But like, man, can't see for
shit, you know what I mean? Like his, I saw him through a
couple of different service dogs.
(04:38):
But that day, you know, so we'relike, cool, let's do less than I
go back into the little room. We're sitting there.
He shuts the door. The lights are not on.
And he doesn't know. He don't know I'm 12 and not
like socially I don't know how to.
Is that rude for me to be like hey bro.
(04:59):
Hey, I'm a little freaked. Out Hey, the lights aren't on,
so I didn't say anything and we just like did the lesson.
There was a little bit of light coming through like a window,
but like pretty much the lesson in the dark.
And then I built some rapport with him over the next couple of
months and I had like finally mentioned I was like, hey, bud,
do you know like that first lesson that we did it in the
dark? And he's like, how the fuck am I
(05:21):
supposed to know? And he's like, why didn't you
tell me, bro, 'cause I was terrified.
He's like, he's like, I don't know, turn the light on.
Yeah. Oh, that's good.
Yeah, that's good. So yeah, that was that was kind
of the start. When did you have your first
performance and then and then atwhat point?
(05:43):
Yeah, first performance. And then when did you switch to
like, vocals? Because dude, you have.
Dude, you can. First performance I switched to
vocals but not really but I did which was this like same same
buddy. I had this band with Jacob.
His parents were doing dude. I don't know if it was like an
anniversary party or what, but it was like his mom and his
(06:04):
stepdad. And they were like doing some
sort of like, I swear, it was like an anniversary party.
I can't even remember. And maybe it was genuinely like
a wedding. I, I don't even know.
But it was at their house. And they're like, yeah, dude,
Jacob's band, our band, they're going to play some song.
And so we started like rehearsing a couple covers and
nobody, nobody wanted to sing None of us.
(06:27):
Well, yeah, set a nuts factor. There, yeah.
Nobody wanted to sing. And they're just like, OK,
you'll you'll do it. Right.
And I'm like, I mean, I guess. And so, like, in my first live
performance ever was like a realrough cover of Ramon's
blitzkrieg box. Oh, wow.
(06:47):
OK. We played at this.
Yeah. Wedding Recept.
I don't know what to call it. Anniversary party, something
like that. That's awesome.
So yeah, thrown into the fire vocally.
Kind of the only way to do anything in life, right?
I think so. Get tossed in the ocean.
Yeah, and I in a weird way too. I think that kind of looking
back on it, like that's a reflection of pretty much how I
(07:10):
ended up doing anything at all in terms of like music, Like I
felt like everything I was doingwas out of necessity.
And what I mean by that is like,I started learning more
instruments because I, I like them, but also like, I felt the
(07:31):
need that like, if that, if thatrole needs to get filled in
whatever capacity and service tosomebody else, I'll be able to
do it. And then I started like learning
how to sing and that was becauselike, I wanted to do like
background vocals for somebody. And then I wanted to learn how
to like engineer and make records because like paying for
it is expensive and crazy. And I'm like, I think I can do
(07:53):
something I'm into and I can do,and I can again, like be in
service to people's projects andpeople's art.
And then that became like, well,I started producing and making
beats also for like that same reason.
And then I started like singing and doing melodies on those
beats because the productions I was doing with certain people I
feel like weren't good enough. And there's only so much you can
(08:17):
do when you're like in the background.
And so everything felt like justa serious need to be like in
service to this greater thing. The greatest thing of creating
music? Music, art, dislike, however you
want to. Like, I kind of think of it as
like an offering in like a really deep way, but I'm only
going to talk about that, you know, and, and for most people,
(08:39):
'cause they're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's a song. Yeah.
So everything kind of. Can you explain that a little
bit? Sure.
Yeah, I'd love to hear. That yeah, I mean it's just like
this is there was nothing here and now there's something and
when you treat it honestly and truthfully, there's a resonance
(09:03):
to it with other people. And I think that thing that can
bring people together and connect them like that's kind of
our whole jam as people, you know what I mean?
Like that's community. That's that's what it is, you
know, And so it's music is one way to do that, you know, and
it's all the same thing where there's.
(09:24):
It's kind of the biggest way because it's, it's a universal
language. It, it her transcends, you know,
race, gender, yeah, political views or whatever.
Tons of people can like the samemusic.
Yeah, it's a weird thing that we're into.
Like I think about it sometimes.I'm just like, it's just like
frequency and sound and resonance and rhythm and like.
(09:46):
We're just feeling it. Yeah, and it's like it's so
unique to us and it's so weird that we love it.
And it's also so weird that there's so much of it that all
of us really don't like and hate, you know what I mean?
Like, and people are like, I like everything.
You're like, there's a / 100,000songs uploaded the day to
Spotify. I promise you don't like
everything, bro. There's a lot of ass music,
(10:07):
which is cool. I'm not knocking it.
But like, you don't like everything, but the things that
you do a lot of times, I think mean a lot, you know?
And they don't have to. It's cool to have fun.
It's cool to just like, fun is abeautiful thing.
It doesn't have to be some deep shit, but that's powerful too,
you know? So when you talk about honesty
(10:29):
and reverence behind your music,do you mean the intention you're
putting into it? What do you mean by?
That I don't even know if it's intention, but like honesty.
Yeah, honesty is a weird thing to describe because it doesn't
mean the lyrics have to be honest.
It doesn't mean it has to be a true story.
I just think of it like, I don'tknow how to describe it other
than like the truth and it's just that feeling.
(10:53):
Authentic maybe? It's that authenticity that like
you just, it's that feeling of connection.
I think that's what it is. You know what I mean?
Like I think there's been a lot of times in my life and I'm sure
for so many others that like I just don't feel in tune with
what's happening around me. Whether it's the people, whether
it's an environment, whether it's something.
But like a song comes on, I'm listening in the car or the
(11:15):
headphones or whatever. And like all of a sudden I like,
I don't feel alone. I feel like I'm a part of
something or I, I feel like I'm enveloped in this fucking world
that got created that just like,isn't that a trip somebody?
Trip you've never met anywhere can get a mic and an instrument
(11:35):
and create something that when you hear it a whole world away,
it affects your brain chemistry,you know, gives serotonin or
dopamine or you feel love, you know, or excitement.
And I, I feel like I've gotten to know so many great people
that I've never met before, but I just know them through their
(11:56):
art and their music. And then it's like maybe they do
something crazy or outlandish inpublic or on a celebrity level
or whatever. And I'm like, I don't even think
that's the fucking reality or truth short of like really
fucked up shit. Like I think that like the thing
they sweat and toil over and they put their fucking hearts
(12:17):
and souls into song after song, album after album.
Like that's the, that's them, you know what I mean?
Like, yes, it's art, yes, it's an expression, but like, that's
how they're feeling, you know what I mean?
And I'm like, I think that's us being able to like take the good
out of people, you know what I mean?
Like, and take it for what it is.
(12:37):
And I think people get caught upin that shit, 'cause I don't
know, man. Like that's, that's their
contribution to humanity in a lot of ways.
I like that. Yeah, we were talking
authenticity. Dude, you're you are very
yourself. Appreciate.
It. I don't know how to be anything
else. Yeah.
Well, it's that's a natural giftyou were born with then, because
people crave that and people crave being authentic
(12:59):
themselves. And it's hard to do that.
The first thing you have to do is know yourself.
What do I like? What are my desires?
What kind of foods do I like? What kind of art do I like?
Music? What kind of movies do I like?
You start there and if you spendtime there, you'll be around
other people with the same interests and then you go from
there and then you attract people who are authentic and,
but most people don't know how to be authentic.
(13:20):
And then we're constantly given content that we're supposed to
like through. And I'm not saying this is a bad
thing, you know, it's just how things work.
We're given content that we're told to like.
And so a lot of people fall intowhat everyone else is liking and
they don't really know themselves and they're exhausted
after social situations, exhausted after work 'cause
they're basically playing a role.
(13:40):
You negated that whole thing. I I, I appreciate that.
Yeah. I, you know, honestly, I think
it kind of stems from like, you know, to be real, like I growing
up never really felt like I fit in all the way pretty much
anywhere. And it's not that like, I mean,
dude, like I got, I'm blessed come from loving parents, loving
(14:02):
family, friends. I mean, like my girl loves it.
Like the love is there. You know what I'm saying?
Like it's not like I'm alone on a rock, but I just I never felt
like I fit in with like the the mold of this circle, that
circle, whatever it. Is.
I just, yeah, like I never not, I'm always not all the way in,
you know what I mean? But like, I think growing up
(14:24):
like that, I just got kind of good at like whatever the fuck
this is, is what it is. And I like a lot of stuff and I
do a lot of stuff and whatever. Yeah, again, whatever it is, it
is. And the more I say fuck it, like
I think the better things kind of just work for sure, you know
what I mean? Like, yeah dude, that's awesome.
(14:46):
So you're sober? Not really, I mean I don't I no
I wouldn't say I'm sober I just don't.
I just haven't had a drink in like 6 years.
OK. The way I like to think about it
is like I like doing the drugs that won't ruin your fucking
life. It pretty much sums it up for
me. So not cocaine.
I don't. I don't.
(15:06):
Yeah, I've never done coke. Hasn't happened once.
Yeah. Never done coke.
And then you could list all the other hard ones.
I haven't done those either. Yeah.
So just like the fun stuff that like for the most part comes out
of the ground besides like acid,Acid don't come out of the
ground, but acid won't ruin yourlife.
Well, it technically came from some kind of plan.
(15:28):
At some point we synthesize it. We could bend the.
Rules there, Yeah. So Albert Hoffman Shit, yeah.
Yeah, the the serotagenic psychedelics like you can't
really abuse those, you know, you.
You have a big it has to be likesome crate like you have to be
like, do you know what a thumbprint is?
No, so a thumbprint is like thisis on some like super heady like
acid dealer thing where it's like there are like, I forget
(15:51):
how they make it, but like it's just like you pretty much
synthesize like a few like pagesworth of acid into like a
singular like liquid pool. You know what I mean?
Because it's like it's measured in micrograms and then you take
your thumb and you like press into it.
And so then like you're trippingfor like.
And it absorbs through your thumb.
Yeah, that's terrifying. Yeah, I mean, like, I don't
(16:12):
think anybody enjoys it, you know what I mean?
If you do, that's when you're like, seems like you're really
out of touch with reality, my dude.
Don't plan on doing that. Yeah, that sounds like it's
going to fuck some shit. Up How come you don't drink?
Was is it always like that? You just didn't.
Like it dude, No, it wasn't eventhat.
I mean, like, I was lucky I didn't have like a problem or
(16:32):
nothing, which was cool. I did the same thing we've all
done, which is I woke up hungover one day and was like,
I'm gonna fucking chill for a second.
Yeah, this is bullshit. This fucking sucks.
I'm going to chill for a second.And then like, genuinely, that
snowballed from like a day to a couple of weeks till like, all
(16:54):
of a sudden I was like a month in and a month in, I was like, I
feel really. Good.
You stay off that stuff, booze for 60 to 90 days, you will feel
completely different. Your complexion changes your
eyes, creativity comes back. That stuff's.
It's nuts. And like The thing is too, and
this is going to sound heavy butI don't want it to, but like
(17:14):
this is what it is like you know, like I, you know, at this
time too, it's like, you know, I'm in my early, early mid 20s
and like I remember distinctly like 4 weeks in of not drinking.
I just remember feeling like, bro, the amount of like heavy
suicidal thoughts, which like I was never going to do anything.
(17:37):
It never felt like that. I never felt like I was going to
like I was really at that level,but I just thought about it all
the time. I just thought about what if I
did this? What if I did that?
What if I jumped here? Whatever.
That shit just like plummeted, dude.
It was just kind of gone. And I'm like beer, I did that.
Like that's crazy, bro. That's enough.
(17:58):
To leave that alone. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, it
was, yeah, it was cool. So it's been.
And then it just kind of snowballed and all of a sudden
it's been like 6 years and things been going good.
So fuck it, yeah, you know. Hell yeah.
Absolutely yeah. Is that ever challenging in the
music industry? Like, not just.
Alcoholic. Drugs.
Nah. Not for me.
I don't know, like for other people maybe, but I think it
(18:19):
goes back to the other thing where I'm like, I'm just cool
with me. Your drug is authentic as it is.
Bro, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to be at the
party probably anyways and not like in a this sort of way, but
I'm just like, it's just usuallynot my jam, you know what I
mean? Like unless the party's like
bitching. But yeah, if it's just like a
bunch of people hanging out getting fucked up, which is
(18:40):
great talk, but I'm like, what we doing, you know, like and
it's like, but that same. But like, at the same time, I
know that most people don't wantto do what I do in terms of
like, dude, if I set aside a day, I get maybe a good, you
know, this is not a, this is nota every weekend occurrence or
even every month occurrence. Just clarify, you know, but like
(19:00):
I set aside a day, I get the studio set up how I like it.
Da da da da da. Things are cool, like feeling
good. And I'm like, OK, turn the phone
off, let me eat like 8 grams of mushrooms and we're doing it and
like dive into these speakers and and play guitar for fucking
six hours and all that. Like, I love that.
(19:21):
And that for me is like very therapeutic and I'm checking in.
So it's just fun as fuck with like there's, there's usually
some shit there too that you gotto deal with and face.
Yeah, but that goes S real quick.
Yeah, but like, I love it. Like it's just so good.
Like I like that point. How much can I endure you?
Know, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Like, so like, but most people don't want to do that and that's
(19:43):
cool too, you know what I mean? Like, it's a lot, you know,
like, most people don't want to hang out in front of speakers.
For but if you can get a black belt in that, you really can.
You see what it's about. You're like, oh, this isn't
about the distraction of I'm in a rainbow and look at the
fractals. It's actually about connecting
with yourself and then tapping into this.
Whatever collective consciousness, higher self,
(20:03):
where ideas can flow through andyou can use your brain in a
completely different way and come up with art and songs and
things like that. Like last year, for example,
which is like the last time I like tripped on mushrooms, which
is like about a year ago. So that's for reference to like
that. I know I got the mushroom belt
but like it's not a. It's not an every month, every
(20:24):
quarter. For that level, that level of
dosage, it isn't, you know, so like.
To mention, you learn so much about like yourself and the
universe, it takes a long time to integrate that.
So like last year, you know, a little background, my, my dad
has this autoimmune disease and him and my mom moved to Colorado
(20:44):
for three months for him to do atrial, a medical trial for
treatment for that disease. So they were gone for like the
summer of last year. And I kind of my part in that
was like, I'll watch and take care of their house, you know,
and me and my girl, we live together.
So I'm like spending a few nights there at that house,
spending a few nights at home, but I like built out and set up
(21:07):
the studio in the back of the house there.
And you know, it was like I had just dropped a project of mine
that was that it really meant a lot.
You know, I dropped them off at the airport five days after
that, which was the 4th of July.I set up the studio, kind of
built it all out. And then like maybe that same
week I was like, let's eat 8 grams of mushrooms in my
(21:30):
childhood home and see what happens.
And dude, I like, I, I had all these realizations that like,
because it was like, I'm thinking about my life and I'm
thinking about it in the sense of like me dropping my dad off
at the airport might have been the last time I saw him.
(21:50):
Like there's a chance he's goingto die doing this.
Like it's. Childhood.
Home and I'm like at home and I'm thinking about like my woman
who I've been with for at the time, you know, four years, give
or take. And it's like, am I stepping up
all the way there as much as I can too?
And like I start thinking too ina sense of like what I want to
(22:10):
do career wise and music and allthat.
And I'm like, bro, like you keepthinking that these are like
separate things. You keep thinking that like, I
can't devote all the time I can to the career and all the time I
can to family. And I'm like, bro, devoting the
time to the family is how you are able to do everything in the
career. This is like the home base.
This is ground, this is foundation.
(22:33):
You cannot build a house withoutlike sturdy concrete foundation.
So if the people around you aren't good and your family and
your community locally aren't good, you can't build.
The rest of it is going to fuck everything up.
Your whole life's going to be inshambles.
You can't hit your highest vibration at the main people
you're spending time with at home is something's not.
(22:54):
Right. None of it matters.
Like none of it fucking matters.And like the answer of
everything you want to do is like literally right here in
your backyard. Like you can do this.
And you are making these recordsand building these connections
with the people around you, literally from the backyard you
grew up in. And you can fucking do that.
And so there was I, I cried a lot.
It was cool, like in a good way.And I just, I was just like, I
(23:17):
felt like I saw my life in termsof like how I can do this.
And I'm like, I'm here to help the people around me.
And I don't, I don't know exactly all the ways I'm going
to do that. But like, I do feel like it is
through music because it's something bigger and greater
than myself. It's bigger and greater than all
of us. And it's like, it's through
that, that all these other things get to work out.
So it's symbiotic. You take care of the people and
(23:40):
it'll take care of that, and youtake care of this and it'll take
care of that. You know, like, and it just felt
like the truth. It is the truth dude.
I didn't learn this till like 2 years ago.
I did so I did corporate sales along time.
High pressure just yeah, eats you alive.
Quota. Yeah.
I thought this was secondary. And by this I mean the home
(24:01):
life, the family life, the health of the family life, how
you're treating them, how you'retreating public.
Hey, if the bills are paid like we're good, cool.
That's not how it works. That that's not at all.
Not at all. Not at all, bro, No.
And then I left that and I realized these people don't even
like me. Like they don't care about if
the ATM card swipes or not. You know I've got some damage to
(24:23):
repair here. So that's such a beautiful
realization to have, you know, because it's like, I think too,
like I've seen, you know, families or friends where like
they grow up and like things aren't stressful financially,
which is a blessing. But like, it don't feel like the
love is as as as connected as itcould be for that family or that
(24:43):
unit, you know? And again, who am I to judge?
Not my place, but like, it's a reality, you know what I mean?
And it's like you hear it all the time too, with artists that
are like, I spent my whole life,I spent 20 years building and
grinding to be like the biggest artist in the fucking world.
And I finally got there and thathole that I was trying to fill
(25:07):
is still empty. Damn, isn't that the truth?
Man, and I'm like and to me, even though I haven't been there
yet, like and I hope in that very specific scenario I don't
want to be there at all, but like, it makes sense.
Those are not the same thing bro.
That's work, you know, Like that's not love and family.
(25:28):
And like, again, the people around you, like all the other
shit, just like, doesn't matter.I don't even think you can
properly perform if your home life isn't right, if you're not
treating your kids right and your dogs right and you're not a
good husband or or boyfriend or whatever it is.
Everything kind of stems from there.
So your agree, your, your foundation's cracked and
crumbled and now you're going togo out and try to be a
(25:49):
professional somewhere people feel.
That, yeah, 'cause I think, you know, you win in you, the long
term win is your ability to win on the day-to-day level, right?
And so if your day-to-day is chaotic due to your home life
not being what it should be, you're going to get burnt out.
(26:09):
You can't win in that long run. But if your day-to-day rhythm is
steady and it's balanced and you're able to like chip away
and do the work you need to do on top of like everything being
good, I just think that like thecumulative, the edition of all
those good days put together hasto be a great result.
(26:30):
It has to be. Dude, I love it.
Family first. It's important.
I mean, that's, that's what we're here for.
It is how can you truly help people with music if your
family's not being helped by you?
Yeah, I mean, you know, and like, again, everybody's journey
is their own and there's so manyartists that like fair and
they're like, I mean the, the, the foundation of like
(26:52):
rock'n'roll is like hating your father, you know what I mean?
Like it's daddy issue for sure. It's a bunch of fucking rock
singer with dad problems, you know, but like, so like there,
there is something to be said. But again, I think that, you
know, it doesn't necessarily mean it equates to joy.
It equates to happiness. On the note of expanding
awareness to various means, we were talking a little bit about
(27:13):
out there about when you're chasing something or when you're
creating something or trying to move towards a goal in life.
If you slow down and look around, you can see like signs
or nods from the universe as youdescribed it.
Tell me a little bit about that.Where it when you first noticed
that we got the tap sure tappingthe brains going no you.
(27:33):
Can no. Yeah, I.
I shouldn't have. Done that.
No, you're good. No, I tap a lot.
So I Yeah, the nods from the universe are.
I mean, they're real because theway I look at it is.
Oh, it's real. A lot of times on like they come
(27:54):
up, you're really hoping for like this big fucking snap of a
moment, viral moment that's going to change your fucking
life. I think most people's journeys
don't have that exactly. And maybe there is one, you
know, maybe there is a big pivotal thing.
(28:16):
But if you're open to seeing like the small signs, I think
they could be really powerful, you know what I mean?
Because it's like the way I lookat it too, is like, bro, there's
been times where I like, you know, I put out a song and, you
know, maybe it doesn't stream asmuch as I want to, whatever the
fuck that means. But like.
(28:36):
I'll tell you what it means. I want to see a million hits in
one day. Exactly.
That'd be nice. But like you get a message from
somebody about like, you know, like I put out a song called
family things, you know, and like people would message and
say things just like, bro, my, my dad's going through cancer
and da da da da da had this battle and this song fucking
meant and I just can't. And I just cried in the fucking
(28:58):
car and all these and you're like, that's huge.
That's crazy. Makes it all worth it.
Beautiful. And you're like, bro, like
that's amazing, you know? And even if it's not that
direct, is another person reaching out and saying
something. There's just so many things
along the way. So a little nod of affirmation,
basically like, hey, continue this way, it's helping people.
For sure, yeah. And I, I just also feel like,
(29:22):
you know, like, yes, I, I feel like I show up everyday in some
capacity to whatever it is I'm going for, but also like the
things that seem to work out andhappen in life happened like
really fucking organically and like things I wasn't pushing or
really forcing out. Like, bro, like, you know, I
(29:44):
went on the road last year, which was a blessing, but like
how that happened really, Because it was like my friend,
his name is Party Alone. Very talented artist, super
great guy. I know who it is he was.
I don't know him. I know his profile.
He was going on tour. They announced his tour and
dude, Bugbee calls me and he's like, yo, so party's going on
(30:06):
tour and I'm like, I don't fucking know bro.
Like what are you talking about?And he's like, dude, he just
post about it. He's going on the tour and he's
like, bro, like are you going? And I was like, I don't even
know that there's a tour. I got the time because he
apparently just posted. I was like, I don't even know
what you're fucking talking about, dude.
I have no idea. And I was like, so no, I have no
plan. And he's like, bro, you should
see if you can like hop on. And I'm like, that's a great
(30:27):
idea. And in my head I'm like, oh, I
bet I can do this. I'm like, let me talk to them
and see if I can go on the road and open up.
But also I'll play guitar and help build out his set.
So like, they get to do that, but I get to be open up on the
road. And like, I hit them with that
(30:48):
and they were like, that's kind of a great idea.
And I'm like, I think it's a great idea too.
And it's been working out and itwas great.
And then I got to go on the road, you know what I mean?
And it's like, in a weird way. Did I actively chase after that?
Yes. But the intention was to be
helpful. The intention was to be helpful
and also like it really happenedbecause like my friend called
(31:09):
me. It was like it wasn't, it wasn't
some scheme or idea I made-up. He just called me and was like
bro, and I'm like that's a good idea.
Like just let shit happen. You know what I mean?
Like. It's hard because the tendency,
you know, especially if you haveany Dr. ambition, work ethic, if
you're trying to move something forward in life, at least for
me, I want to squeeze it and push it and just let's shove
(31:33):
this forward and it just slows it down and people get hurt,
people get rubbed wrong and you don't get to the destination
that you that you really should be at it.
Just you got to let. But that it takes faith to just
lay back and say, OK, let me follow whatever road map the
universe opens up for me. For sure.
It takes faith because you don'tsee it.
(31:53):
It's literally the unknown. I I want to push that way and
when you don't know the that way, that's uncomfortable just
sitting in that. No, it's real, man.
Yeah, you know, so. Do you ever experience self
doubt in in being so much yourself?
Doesn't sound like it. You've been rocking John Wild
for a long time. Yeah.
(32:14):
I mean, I don't know if I'd callit self doubt, you know, but I
think where that maybe comes in is what I would call like
editing and curating. And when it comes time to like
making musical projects, I thinkpart of the work after maybe
like a very prolific period of creation and having a lot of
(32:37):
music, having a lot of songs, a lot of ideas, is then narrowing
that down and kind of like killing some darlings and like
getting it to where it needs to be.
And there's a little bit of doubt in that process because?
Wondering if you're killing the gold nugget?
You mean? Yeah, I mean it it.
And it's also like, you know, for myself personally, how do I
word this without being incotistical?
(32:58):
Like, I feel like I explore and I'm able to make music in a lot
of different directions and genres and things, and I don't
really think about it. I don't really think about it in
that way when I'm making stuff. I just make stuff.
But then again, when it comes time to like curating something
together, which is like the finishing part, there is a,
there is an aspect that's like, let's see if we can hone some
(33:18):
things together. And part of me is like, well,
maybe I can just let it all out and all be a thing and see what
that is. And that sounds really
beautiful. But I, I at the same time, like,
I don't know, I, I, I really value, like being able to live
into a project. I really value like this idea
of, of a thing being a thing, you know what I mean?
(33:42):
So there's, there's a little bitof, I don't know if I'd call it
doubt in that process because I trust myself through it and I
trust whatever's going on to do it.
And I think also, like, if thereis moments of insecurity, like I
also trust that the people around me, whether it's them or
like just what I feel like is a message coming through them from
(34:02):
something bigger. Like I let that shit resonate
and happen too. You know what I mean?
So I think communication happensin more than one way.
Yeah. I don't I don't know if that
answers your question. But no, it does cool.
You do, but you just stay true to yourself and keep moving
forward. And yeah, like, override it.
It's like either way, I just don't know what it's going to
be, whatever it is, you know what I mean?
(34:24):
So whether I doubt it or not, like fuck it, you know, like I'm
still going to make records. I'm still going to put them out.
It's just like how I am, you know?
Do you ever experience hate frompeople?
Jealousy online, in person. Oh yeah, on the Internet for
sure. Damn that.
No, it's cool. It's funny.
(34:44):
How do you handle that? Does it?
Does it affect you? Usually I I'm like over the top.
Show them love. Yeah, no, I mean like, because
it's not a reflection of me, right?
It's a reflection of them, you know what I mean?
And it's like, and I don't try to say that from like up here on
a pedestal, but I'm like, bro, I've never commented A hateful
fucking Internet comment ever a day in my life, bro.
(35:07):
I why would I do that? That such seems like such a
waste of time. So something's going on in that
person's life. So like.
That's amazing. So you try to have compassion to
count. Yeah, like, it's all good.
And sometimes some shit's just, like, funny and that's cool.
Like the amount of times that like, I've gotten like, bro,
(35:27):
when did Steven Tyler and Weird Al have a baby?
And I'm like, that shit's funny,bro.
Like some shit gets me. And I'm like, there's nothing
wrong with being funny. That's cool.
But some shit's just like, you're fucking terrible.
And you're like, dude, I love you and I hope you have a
wonderful day. That's awesome.
You know what I mean? Like, hey, man, you know, it's
all good. And there's been so many times
(35:47):
too where I say some stuff like that because the other side of
it is this weird thing that happens psychologically when
people comment negative shit. They don't realize that the
person on the other end is that person.
They think of like that video aslike an object or they think of
it maybe as like this was on a fucking meme page or something.
I don't know. But they comment something and
(36:08):
you're like, this dude is da da,da da.
And you're like, what do you have this dude?
I'm right fucking here. Just notified my phone as.
You really did. I made this and and I'll
respond. I.
Never thought about that. It's almost a deep like they de.
Dehumanized. Dehumanized.
Yeah, yeah, which is cool, man, it's the Internet, I get it.
(36:28):
But like I will see that and I'll comment something coming
with compassion and the amount of times too that like that
person's been like, hey, bro, I I'm sorry, that wasn't cool and
like you're cool as fuck for saying something.
Life was just like nice and and then they like will follow me
and you're like, that's crazy. How did that happen?
(36:50):
They. Feel the love, dude.
Yeah, that's awesome. And it's just like, again,
awesome, I'll get you start to rehumanize some shit.
And people are like, Oh yeah, you're like a person.
And I'm like, yeah, if you met me in real life, it'd probably
be all good, you know? But like, I get it.
You see me in the bathtub singing a song and you don't
like it. That's fine.
Like, that's cool, dude. I I can't fucking blame you for
that. And check out check out John's
(37:11):
shit there. There really is bathtub songs.
And that's the same. Like, I get it dude.
So where do you want to go with all this dude?
What are the What are the goals?My thing really is like I just,
I want to play as many shows as I possibly can and I want to
(37:36):
make music and art at the highest level.
And in order for me to do that, I think it'll require some
resources that I haven't fully required yet acquired.
So it is about like building a this art and career and business
to a certain extent in order to do that.
But like at the end of the day, it's really just about like
(38:00):
doing this enough that like, if I can do this and the family
also be good. So whatever capacity that the
art lives at, cool, You know, and even more so than that.
And I think the main thing, and I was talking about this earlier
today is like, I really truthfully feel like I'm here to
(38:22):
help in some capacity. And I think music is a catalyst
in order for me to do that, Not just necessarily for the people
around me, but like, I think themusic can be something bigger
and deeper for other people. And if it is cool, if it's not,
that's OK too. It's not up to me.
But yeah, man, I just want to help And and in any way we can
(38:47):
leave this a more enjoyable space for the for other people.
Beautiful, you know. Very beautiful, dude.
That's sick man. Thanks man.
Anything else you want to? You want to tell people?
Any stories, input, advice? Young artists, Aspiring artists,
People too scared to be artists.Or anything I mean.
(39:11):
Whatever that was, that's that'sthe one.
Just like, well, I was going to say no, I'm like, I think it's
just whatever you're doing is probably right.
I don't know, like just you got to let it happen, you know?
I know that's some hippie ass advice, but I'm just like such a
fan of it, you know, like if yougot to work through a bunch of
(39:32):
terrible shit right now, like and it feels bad, let it feel
bad. Don't fight it.
Like let shit be terrible for a little bit and like get yourself
out of it. It'll happen, you know what I
mean? Like I'm just, I'm just such a
believer in that. Like the more people try to
control shit I just, it seems like life stresses you the fuck
(39:57):
out you know? So like if you can learn to let
go. And flow.
Yeah, you know, because I say all that and I don't mean like,
don't fucking. Like don't do anything.
Yeah, don't. I don't mean like don't not
drink water and don't not like pay your rent, you know, if you
got rent. Like I just mean like every
(40:18):
moment of your day you probably spend trying to control how the
day is going to go and just let that shit happen.
That's cool bro. I like I like another part too.
Like if you're going through a hard time, that's part of life.
Like remove the connotation of this is a bad experience and
this is just a human experience.And if you can have faith that
(40:41):
something goodwill come from this and it's temporary, that's
a great place to be when you're encountering hard times in life
that are for sure going to come.Nobody's immune to it.
Yeah, you're good, dude. Dude, thank you for having.
Me man, thanks. For having me man.
Great time dude.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.